The Driver walked around the Smart Car with Purpose, opened the Door, leaned in, checked the Charge Level for the Battery, and then walked Smugly back over to Dizzy.
“The Car has a Healthy 70% Charge Currently so We should be Fine.” said The Driver being a Passive Aggressive little shit.
“YOU DIDN’T ASK WHERE THE FUCK WE ARE GOING ASSHOLE!” Screamed Dizzy Now Fully Enraged with His Face turning Such a Deep Shade of Crimson. The Veins in His Neck stuck out like the Steel Cables of a Suspension Bridge as Sweat Started to trickle down Dizzy’s Face and into HIs Eyes.
“Sir You told the Dispatcher when You called for the Ride. The Dispatcher then Radioed Me, and Told Me where I could pick You up at, as well as where Your Destination so I could Determine if I wanted to take the Calls o to speak.” said the Guy smirking Triumphantly in full on Gloat Mode.
“FINE! I Digress on the Issue of Battery Life in that Glorified Bumper Car with Wheels You’r sporting there Sport.” respond Dizzy Vindictively fancily wiping the growing amount of sweat out of His eyes.
“I do have a Question though.” Lee said Speaking Up for the First time during the Ongoing War of the Smart Car, but He knew He needed Dizzy to chill the fuck out for Christ’s sake.
If Dizzy didn’t Relax He was bound to fucking have a Massive Embolism, Fall on His face Dead right there on the fucking Sidewalk. Lee didn’t have any real set Plans other than bumming around with Dizzy for Shits and Giggles, Yet He was pretty fucking sure HE didn’t have time to do with a Medical Emergency that Ended Promptly in a Fatality.
“Yes Sir how may I Best Address Your Question?” asked The Driver politely as He had no issue with Lee who again had been standing quietly in the Background. It wasn’t Lee’s fault His buddy was a being Completely Batshit Crazy for No real reason other than He apparently seemed to find issue with every fucking thing He came across. Ok well thought the Driver to Himself it did Say a little Something about Lee which was He had shitty taste in Friends. Still Bad Taste wasn’t a Crime.
“Well We are 3 grown Adults, and Your Smart Car can only accommodate 2 Adults at Best. So wouldn’t that result in You having to Drive each one of US to Our destination One at a fucking Time? That and if You have to Drive Us Separately then that will Tax Your Battery Double fucking Time which would Require You to Stop and Recharge between Trips?!” Lee questioned doing HIs best Not to come off like a Dick. He figured it was Safe to Assume at this point if The Driver had an Issue with Him Too He’d get bent and Bounce leaving the Two of Them Stranded with Their preverbal cocks in Their Hands.
“HOLY SHIT! I was so pissed that You had the absolute lack of common fucking sense since the Dispatcher called You with the Specifics of The Job! They had to have told You that You’d be picking up 2 Passengers right? Two Grown fucking Adults, Not a couple of Circus Midgets or a Pair of Quadruple Amputees?! NO THEY DIDN’T YOU GODDAMN DICK!” said Dizzy getting louder as He spoke apparently on the Verge of Launching The Second War of the Smart Car.
“The Dispatcher did inform Me that there would be 2 passengers that is True, but I figured You two could simply just sit on each others Laps I mean its not that long a Drive. According to My GPS it says the Crystal Diner is 17 minutes way.” respond The Driver cockily as if HE had just solved the World’s Most complex Brain Teaser.
“Sit on Each other’s Lap ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS YOU Snide Little Man Child Fuck, I’m Not paying My hard earned Cash to Ride around sitting on My Friends fucking Lap like a Little fucking Kid!” Snapped Dizzy Harshly nearly Hitting His Breaking Point.
“You could have Your Friend here sit on Your Lap if that Suits You Better Sir.” suggested the Driver jokingly trying to Lighten the Mood as Now He was getting nervous that Dizzy would simply Murder the Shit out of Him, Steal His Cash, and Drive off in His Smart Car regardless of His Loud Mouthed Bullshit Temper Tantrum on the Subject.
“DO YOU WANT TO DIE?! DO YOU? DO YOU WANT TO FUCKING DIE RIGHT HERE OUTSIDE THIS SHITTY OLD HOTEL/APPARTMENT BUILDING?! Obviously I’m not going to fucking Pay You to have My fucking Friend sit on MY LAP IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE Who sitting on Who COME THE FUCK ON!” seethed Dizzy through His teeth which were so Clenched they were beginning to Grind making a very Disturbing Sound like some object that has been pushed to it limit, and it was just a matter of Seconds before it Snapped Splintering into Fragments.
Stay Tuned For The Next Flabbergasting Installment of………
LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHERS
Thanks for Reading,
By Les Sober
By Les Sober