Do those who ay Not Know the Washington post has a Yearly contest for it Readers. Readers are asked to come up with New Alternate Meanings for Commonly used Words.
We are Happy to Present this Years Winning Entries. We only regret We were Not provided with the Author’s Names, BUT We would Love to by Each of Them a Drink or Two or Three.
This is a Excellent Example of Creativity OVER Technologies Inane, IQ Lowering, Mindless Drivel that the Tech Industry Pumps out on a Massive Scale on a Daily fucking Basis, But I Digress.
Winners are Listed in NO Particular Order, Enjoy.
- Coffee,n. The Person upon Whom One coughs.
- Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by Discovering how much Weight One has Gained.
- Abdicate, v. To give up ALL Hope of ever having a Flat Stomach.
- Esplanade, v. To attempt an Explanation while Drunk.
- Negligent, adj. Absent Mindedly answering the Door when wearing only a Nightgown.
- Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent
- Lymph, v. To Walk with a Lisp.
- Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
- Flatulence, n. Emergency Vehicle that picks up Someone who has been run over by a Steamroller.
- Balderdash, n. A Rapidly Receding Hairline.
- Testicle, n. A Humorous Question on an Exam.
- Rectitude, n. The Formal, Dignified bearing adopted by Proctologists.
- Pokemon, n. Rastafarian Proctologist.
- Oyster, n. A Person who sprinkles Their conversation with Yiddishisms.
- Frisbeetarianism, n. The Belief that, after Death, the Soul flies up onto the Roof and gets Stuck There.
- Circumvent, n. An Opening in the Front of Boxer Shorts worn By Jewish Men.
There You have it 2019’s Washington Post’s Contest Winners, and again Excellent Job to Everyone Involved.
Can’t wait to Enter Ourselves come 2020.
Thanks for Reading,
Presented by Les Sober