Shaye Saint John – Strange Dolly

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring SHAYE SAINT JOHN – STRANGE DOLLY by Shaye Saint John. Shaye Saint John is a Fictional Character and Art Project Who Appears in a Series of Surrealist, Creepy Short Films, and is Brain Child of Creator Eric Fournier. In the 90’s, Fournier was a Member of the Punk Bands The Blood Farmers and Skelegore when He began working on the First Miss Shaye St. John Video. In 2003, the Character started a Blog at LiveJournal, and a YouTube Channel Named Elastic Spastic Plastic Fantastic was created in August 2006. The YouTube Channel Uploaded all 56 of the Saint John Videos from 2006-2007, and the Official Shaye Saint John Channel Quit Uploading Content in December of 2007. Unfortunately the Creator of the Shaye Saint James Character Eric Fournier Died sometime back in 2010.

Relevant Note Pertaining to Shaye Saint John:

It had been quite a long fucking Long Time since We had Checked in with Shaye Saint John’s Youtube Channel and when We did Obviously Recently We Noticed Some Strange Shit. What We noticed was 90% of the Videos on the Channel have been Taken Down. As of Now all but 10 Videos (all from 6 years ago) remain Posted on the channel. We found this Rather Odd since one of the First things to Consider is the Content Creator Removed them, But in this Case the Content Creator is Died in 2010 so that’s Not It. So We decided We had to find Out more Information about What the fuck was Going on Since We are Huge fucking Shaye Saint John Fans.

The Bottomline here is SO FUCKING WHAT if the Shaye Saint John Creator Eric Fournier Died? We’re Not trying to be fucking Dicks about it, but Yeah We all end Up Worm Food or Ashes in an Urn so fucking What of It?! We fail to see ANY fucking Point/Reason for Youtube to Take Down Fournier’s Videos or for Youtube to  just Straight Up Delete the Entire fucking Channel! There was a Small fucking Library of Content with a Substantial Viewership, and Again so what if the Content Creator Died?! Why should that be a Reason for Youtube to Shit on and Delete Fournier’s Legacy?!!

Shaye Saint John – Strange Dolly Synopsis: The Video is Filmed like a Throwback to the Old School 1970’s B Horror Movies, Previews, and Advertisements which We just so Happen to have an Affinity for. The Video surrounds a Self Loathing Severely Burned Doll named KiKi that Shaye Saint John has Recently Purchased. Now for One Reason or Another KiKi is either Possessed, Cursed, or just Plain fucking Evil for Evil’s Sake but Who Knows. KiKi’s Blood Thirst will Only be Quenched once She has Slaughtered  EVERYONE while Repeating Her Morbid Motto “I Must Kill. My Name is KiKi. Call Me KiKi.”

IMPORTANT NOTE:

  • ©1999 Empty Socket Productions
  • ©1999 Shytown Productions

It is What it Is,

 Presented By Les Sober

A-SYNC RESEARCH DEVELOPMENT AND THE BACKROOMS

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring BACKROOMS A-SYNC ADDITIONAL INFORMATION/VIDEOS  as Part of the Psychological Horror Web Series by Kane Pixels. The Backrooms is a Creepypasta that was inspired by a Comment Left on a Picture of an “Unsettling Room” on 4Chan’s/x/board. The Comment inspired an Expanded Version of the Creepypasta as well as YouTube Videos on the Topic. The Backrooms Creepypasta was made into a Short Horror Film and a Horror Series by 16 Year Old American Director, Visual Effects Artist, and Youtuber Kane Pixels. The ongoing Online Horror Series’s First Installment was Uploaded to Youtube on January 7th, 2022 and Then the Rest of the Series was Posted over the Course of the Last Few Months (All Previous Installments are Posted Here for Your Connivence).

SOMETHING NEW: There has Been a New Development in the BACKROOMS Saga. Series Creator Kane Pixels has Started a Secondary BACKROOMS Channel with Additional Content Not Found on His Main Channel. The New Channel He Started is Named A-Sync Research after the Fictitious and Ominous Research Company from the Series that’s Responsible for Introducing the BACKROOMS to the World. This Development has Thrown Things a Bit Out of Whack Here So now We’re Doing Damage Control to Sort Out any and all confusion. We have Previously Posted Installments Backrooms – The Search and No Escape Previously, BUT We included them here Anyway to Preserve the Series in its Entirety.

This Unique Series does Something Rare Especially Now a Days which is it Simply fucking gets Better with Each Episode. The Series is also Incredible at Building the Tension of Each Installment until the fucking Anxiety of the Characters Bleeds through the fucking Screen. The Backrooms is Definitive fucking Proof You don’t Need a Shit Ton of Cash, Hollywood, Big Movie, An Orgy of CGI, Big Production Companies, Big Time Studios, Famous Actors, Film School/Degree, Jump Scares, or Even Gore to Mindfuck and Creep the Shit out the Audience.

Here Are the A-Sync Videos In Chronological Order:

  1. The Backrooms – Pillars (Found Footage)

CAPTION: January 2, 1998

 

2) The Backrooms – The Hole

CAPTION: This is a small section of footage that was able to be recovered from an unidentified camera found in the Complex by the A-Sync Research Development Team. 5/22/91

3) The Backrooms – Encounter

CAPTION: This is a small section of footage that was able to be recovered from an unidentified camera found in the Complex by the A-Sync Research Development Team. 5/21/91

 

4) The Backrooms – The End

CAPTION: his is a small section of footage that was able to be recovered from an unidentified camera found in the Complex by the A-Sync Research Development Team. 5/22/91

 

5) The Backrooms – Async

CAPTION: This is a small section of footage that was able to be recovered from an unidentified camera found in the Complex by the A-Sync Research Development Team. 5/22/91

6) The Backrooms – The Rope

CAPTION: This is a small section of footage that was able to be recovered from an unidentified camera found in the Complex by the A-Sync Research Development Team. 5/22/91

 

7) The Backrooms – Telephone

CAPTION: This is a small section of footage that was able to be recovered from an unidentified camera found in the Complex by the A-Sync Research Development Team. 5/22/91

 

8) The Backrooms – Library Entity

CAPTION: This is a small section of footage that was able to be recovered from an unidentified camera found in the Complex by the A-Sync Research Development Team. 5/22/91

 

9) The Backrooms – Lost and Found

CAPTION: This is all the footage that was able to be recovered from an unidentified camera found in the Complex (Hallways, Backrooms, etc.) by the A-Sync Research Development Team. 5/21/91

 

10) The Backrooms – No Escape

CAPTION: This tape was .—- recorded by civilian Christopher E. ******* -..-. who was reported missing .—- —– on January 30th, 1984.

 

11) The Backrooms – The Search

CAPTION: This is a continuation of the tape that was ..— recorded by civilian Christopher E. ******* -..-. on February .—- —– 1st, 1984.

 

12) The Backrooms – Lost

CAPTION:This is a continuation …– of the tape that was recorded by civilian Christopher -..-. E. ******* on February 1st, .—- —– 1984.

 

It is What it Is,

  Presented By Les Sober

Shits And Giggles: CLOWNS

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring CLOWNS by Cool 3D World. And Who Exactly is Cool 3D World You may be Wondering to Yourself? Well when Brian and popcorn10 ( Their Youtube Handles) were introduced via Mutual Friends, They realized They shared an Interest in Exploring “Visual Art Inspired by Electronic Music” and so Cool 3D World was Born- as a Place where the Duo can Create “Art, Music, and More! All in 3D.”

Synopsis: Most People find Clowns somewhat Unnerving because lets fucking Face it even on Their Best fucking Day They give off a SERIOUS Pedophile Child Murderer. Then there are People who get legitimately find Clowns Utterly fucking Terrifying, and as Far as They are Concerned here’s a Little More Nightmare Fuel for You.

Disclaimer: If You’re Actually a Clownaphobe DO NOT Watch because Honestly We Don’t  want to Hear about Any Bullshit if You Do.

 

It is What it Is,

 Presented By Les Sober

REAL DEMONS CAUGHT ON TAPE

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring REAL DEMONS CAUGHT ON TAPE. A Clip from this Video (The Arms coming Down from the Ceiling) has been Used in an Extensive Amount of The Unexplained/Mystery Videos and Random Weird Shit Fringe Videos Genres. Here is the Original Video in its Entirety which Includes The “Minion” Hands Under the Door, Arms Protruding from the Ceiling , the Arms coming out of the Wall, and Some fucking Sort of Demon Creature Sue-do Jump Scare. I would like to State for the fucking Record that Jump Scares are a Cheap fucking Gimmick, and that’s been Over Used to the Point of fucking Extreme Overkill.

Now First Things First and I think it’s fucking Safe to Say that this Video is Obviously Fake as fuck which in Reality isn’t a fucking Deal Breaker. While the Video is a Work of Absolute Fiction the Special Effects in it are Cool as Shit and Rather Impressive considering the Video came out Circa 2009. Seriously REAL DEMONS CAUGHT ON TAPE is around just a mere Minute and Thirty-nine Seconds, AND it’s Still Better then the Entire fucking Paranormal Activity Franchise Hands fucking Down. And if I’m doing Comparisons it Personally Reminds Me of the George A. Romero’s Zombie Movie Classic DAY OF THE DEAD. DAY OF THE DEAD contains a Scene where Zombie Arms come through a Hallway’s Walls to Attack One of the Main Characters.

BOTTOM LINE: All in All REAL DEMONS CAUGHT ON TAPE is Creative, Imaginative, Well Done, and Entertaining as fuck and I think that about some it the fuck Up.

It is What it is,

Presented By Les Sober

MeatCanyon’s Nightmare Compilation 2021

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post Featuring NIGHTMARE COMPILATION 2021 by One of Our Favorite Content Creators MeatCanyon. We were Dementedly Delighted to See MeatCanyon had put together a Compilation of His Favorite Animations He did in 2021. And MeatCanyon once again did Not Disappoint His Selections are Dead On.

MeatCanyon’s real name is Hunter August Hancock better know by His online user name MeatCanyon. Hancock is an American Youtuber, Animator, Voice Actor, Comedian, Writer, and Director who makes Parody Animations of Popular Characters (say Sponge Bob for instance). Some viewers of MeatCanyon’s Animations  have been Described them in just One Single Word “Horrifying”. A common on going gag in Hancock’s video’s is that Something Normal or Mundane gets You Killed or Possible Worse.

The MeatCanyon in His Own Words: 

“Thank you all for another amazing year! heres to another! This is a compilation of some of my favorite toons from last year! hope you enjoy!

Nightmare Compilation Playlist:

00:00 – Let’s go Dababy
01:47 – The passion of the craft
04:28 – The last pringle
07:35 – Gumballs in the park
10:54 – I can count to three
13:20 – Yokai Bob the Builder
17:40 – Meaty talk

Thanks For Watching,

Presented By Les Sober

UPDATE: New Hi I’m Mary Mary Video Released!!!

We are Ecstatic to Report that Today at    a New Video in the Ongoing Supernatural Horror Web Series Hi I’m Mary Mary was Posted. The Episode is Title anagnorisis, and at a Whopping Run Time of just over 36 Minutes makes it by Far the Longest Episode Yet.

This is Exciting because thought the Series has Span Over 4 Years Now, and is Still Ongoing it can Be Quite a While Between Episodes. The Previous Video Titled The Last 8 Months was in Fact Posted 11 Months ago in June.

If You Haven’t seen the Prior Post Titled The Mystery Of  Hi I’m Mary Mary We SERIOUSLY SUGGEST that You go and Check it Out First.  There 17 Prior Videos for Your Viewing Entertainment along with a Ton of In -Depth Information Pertaining to the Series.

           

A Extremely Brief ReCap:

  • The MAin Character is Named Mary who wakes up trapped in a Copy of Her Parent’s House, and Has No Idea How She got There.
  • There a Total of Four Different Demonic Entities in the House along with Mary. The Fiendish Foursome Torment Mary Relentlessly.
  • Mary has an Ally in The Woman In White who Dwells in The Garden, but Mary is Utterly Unaware of This. To make things worse The Lady In White has been Desperately Trying to Relay MEssages and Warnings to Mary, Yet Apparently the Four Foul Entities are Intercepting Her Communications.
  • The Series Bleeds Over into Mary’s Actual Twitter Account and Blog, and each Platform provides Clues and Hints as to What is Going on in the Series.

Enjoy.

 

Thanks for Watching,

Brought to You By

  Les Sober  & FYB  

FYB’s Short Horror Movie Showcase: THE SMILING MAN & DON’T MOVE

Welcome to another Installment in the FYB Short Horror Movie Showcase featuring THE SMILING MAN and DON’T MOVE!!!

THE SMILING MAN By A.J. Briones in Association with ALTER (a Company that Traffics in Short Horror Movies) is a SINISTER little Endeavor. In The Smiling Man an Innocent Young Girl watching Cartoons starts to Follow a Trail of Balloons throughout Her House. At the End of the Trail the Little Girl comes FACE TO FACE WITH PURE UNADULTERATED EVIL!! The Smiling Man’s has an Overall “The Devil’s come for Your Daughter” Tone makes it Even more Unnerving. It lends itself to the You feeling You’re watching a Powerful and Vicious Predator Luring its unsuspecting Prey into Striking Distance.

What We particularly Enjoy about The Smiling Man is it reminds Us a Great Deal of Asian Horror. Asian Horror for the Most Part Deals in Disturbingly Demented Psychological Creepiness as Opposed to an All Out Gorefest. It’s a Truly Unique Stylistic Form of Creepy that irks You to the Bone. The Smiling Man is the Kind of Creepy “Cat in Mouse” Horror Movie that leaves You feeling Uneasy, and it tends to Linger Hauntingly in Your Mind for Days after Watching. Enjoy.

DON’T MOVE By Bloody Cuts and Directed by Anthony Melton is a Throw Back to the Devious Demon Centric Horror Movie Classics from the 80’s Ouija Board and All. One of the Impressive Facts about Don’t Move is though it was made on a Very Small Budget the Movie yields High Production Value Effects and That’s No Exaggeration We Assure You. The Other Amazing thing about the Film is the Acting is Exceptionably Good. Since Acting Terrified is One of those Things that People think is Easy When that couldn’t be Farther from the Truth the Actors really Bring it Home.

The Other Aspect of Don’t Move that We particularly got a Real Kick Out Of was if Don’t Move was a Roller Coaster it Starts with/on that First Massive Plunge Down sending You straight into the Heart of the Action. From the BLOOD SPLATTERED Opening Scene Don’t Move’s Backstory has Been Told, The Deed is Done, and The Demon has Come So DON’T MOVE!

We Hope You Enjoyed Coming Eye to Eye with The Vilest Evils as Much as We Did.

Presented By Les Sober

Conversing With a Cannibal

It’s Definitely NO SECRET that We are Big Fans of Vice, and have Posted Several of Their Exceptionally Well Reported Pieces. The First Vice piece We Shared here was “CANNIBAL GENERALS OF LIBERIA”, and just They Other Day We were made Aware of the Following Vice Report “Interview with a Cannibal”. Needless to Say We Loved it (and In Case You haven’t Noticed Cannibalism is a Reoccurring Theme here at FYB) We had To Share it with Our Readers/Audience/Fans. Vice’s “Interview with a Cannibal” is the Story of Issei Sagwa (aka The Celebrity Cannibal) a Real Life MURDERER AND CANNIBAL who Murdered and Cannibalized a Dutch Woman Named Renee Hartevelt in Paris, France in 1981.

           

Not Only did Sagwa Commit MURDER and the Taboo of CANNIBALISM the Story DOESN’T END with Sagwa’s Apprehension by the French Authorities. Sagwa was found to be LEGALLY INSANE by a French Judge and thus Unfit to Stand Trial. The French Judge remanded Sagwa to the Custody of a French Mental Hospital Indefinitely. After approximately Two Years Sagwa was Extradited to His Home Country of Japan where He was found to be Sane, BUT None the Less “EVIL” and placed into a Mental Institution for an Undetermined Amount of Time. On August 12, 1986 Sagwa signed Himself Out of the Mental Institution, and has been A FREE MAN EVER SINCE. After signing Himself Out of the Mental Institution Sagwa Believe It or Not became a MINOR CELEBRITY in Japan, and made Quite a Nice Living (Selling Original Artwork and Being a Published Author of Multiple Titles) through the Public’s Morbid Curiosity pertaining to His Crimes. Enjoy.

We Hope You Enjoyed This Tasty Little Morsel of Cannibalistic Knowledge Straight from the Chef as Much as We did.

 Presented By Les Sober

The Best Laid Plans Of Monsters And Men…..

The Evil Man is searching for resides in His Heart

Hibernating as it Hides  patently biding its time waiting.

Dormant, Destructive, and Demented it can’t be Denied

Feeding Slowly on Your Soul for Sustenance

It takes over Your very Being

Breaking You down Mentally

Becoming Your Master

For All

Eternity…..

Thanks for Reading,

 By Les Sober

The Insanity in Editing Revision #3

 Revision #3 for The Butchers of Backwater

The Butchers of Backwater:
“The Thrill to Kill to Spill Blood so Fresh, The Toll Your Soul shall PAY IN FLESH.” – Asher Leviticus 1803

The pungent odor of the smelling salts filled Joel’s nostrils as he snapped awake like he was hit by a lighting bolt. His vision was blurred and he strained his eyes to the point of pain, squinting to make out where he was. Joel’s head was pounding like there was a giant metronome banging away in his head. His eyes adjusted to the dim candle light of the chandelier and various candelabra’s which sent shadows dancing on the walls with wild abandon. The wall paper was so old it had become yellowed and as brittle as parchment. Large pictures of grim stoic figures which Joel assumed where family ancestors in dingy gaudy gold frames lined all four walls of the dinning room. Some of the people in the paintings looked somewhat deformed but Joel dismissed this as a characteristic of the stone faced portraits of the past where no one dared smile. The black and white old photographs had faded in various degrees from whitened smudged edges to almost fully faded and black in appearance. The subjects of photos as well as

the paintings wore emotionless poker faces.There were two medieval looking candelabras on the table placed at each end these in combination with the chandelier did little to combat the darkness which encapsulated the room.

Joel’s eyes came slowly into focus he could see he was in a rather large dinning room that was reminiscent of the kind one might find in an Old Southern farmhouse. Joel was restrained with thick chains that bound his feet together, and secured his arms to the arms to that of an old oak chair. The chains were coiled around Joel’s torso like a metallic python as well. Joel was positioned at one end of the table opposite the designated head. He strained against the chains to no avail as it became a reality that he wasn’t going anywhere, and was being held as some sort of hostage. There was a full place setting in front of Joel consisting of a antique china plate that was chipped around its perimeter. There were three forks, two spoons and a knife laid out as well that were very old and genuine silver. The cutlery showed it age. Oxidation over years had left its trade mark patina giving the utensils a tarnished appearance. Joel became a deep commanding voice with a distinct drawl coming from behind him.

“Ah, I see our company has risen from his prolonged slumber. I was beginning to fear that you might never be returning to this world of the living, but look at you now. A true testament to a man’s will and his perseverance over that which is problematic.”

Joel was still struggling with all his might to come fully back to his senses. Questions swarmed Joel’s battered brain like enraged Hornets adding to his continued confusion. Where the hell am I? Who’s house is this?” “How’d I even get here”,but most of all at this particular

moment the primary question was “Who is this man and why did he restrain me with an excessive amount of chains?”

“Mr. Joel Fletcher you have a definite look of confusion as to where you are and to that which is going on.”said the voice with a slight tone of mockery.

Joel then heard the distinct sound of a centuries old wooden floor sighing with long groans. The foot steps were coming closer and closer from behind Joel. Joel tried to hide his increasing anxiety and fought to keep his voice from wavering.

“Who are you? What in the name of christ is going on here? What do you want?” Joel said as his speech increased its rate of speed. Damn it Joel thought to himself I can’t show weakness, I must remain calm and as focused as possible considering the current circumstances.

“Questions abound don’t they Mr. Fletcher? You shall have all the answers you desire shortly I assure you.” The voice said from directly behind Joel so close that Joel could smell the stink of cigarette smoke.

Suddenly a very tall and lean elderly man strode out from behind Joel’s seat and quickly crossed the vast dining room in only a couple of strides stopping at the head of the table. The old man was dressed in a crisp brilliantly white suit complete with a bolo tie. For a split second Joel wondered if he had fallen victim to the demented relatives of Colonel Sanders from the KFC advertisements of his youth. The old man had a full beard that was as white as his suit and long shoulder length hair that for some reason was as black as the bottom of an abyss. The old man pulled his chair out and took a seat. He slowly lowered his long and thin body into a chair.

The old man crossed his legs and rested his arms on the table at either side of a second place setting. The old man reached into his suit jacket and removed a cigarette case. He opened the case, removed a cigarette and tapped it lightly and deliberately on the exterior of the case. The old man took a few minutes, which seemed like an eternity to Joel, to locate his Zippo lighter which had the Leviticus family crest on it . The old man lit his cigarette taking in the first couple of drags with gusto before exhaling. A cloud of lingering smoke hovered around his head like a demonic mist.

Once Joel’s eyes met the gentlemen stranger the man began speaking. “You must pardon our lack of light for dining. You see with my condition, I’m an albino you see, I’m afraid my disadvantaged eyes are rather sensitive to light, thusly we forgo the harsh light of electricity in favor of the softer less offensive light of candles.”said the Gentlemen as he puffed away on his cigarette like it was going out of style.

“We? We who? I only see you and me sitting here.” Joel asked nervously, his voice now quivering uncontrollably.

“Well then, as you are my honored guest allow me to explain. My family name is Leviticus and we have kept our bloodline pure for centuries even before my family made their way to America. My family was of great wealth and status until the civil war tore us asunder. War is hell Mr. Joel. War is hell indeed.” said Mr. Leviticus in a slow and steady tone before a brief pause. “After the war my family was banished into the backwaters of the Mississippi were they eked out a meager living hunting Alligators and selling their skins. Then came the unfortunate great depression and the rural people of this land left this place to find greener pastures in bigger towns and even the cities. My family being tougher than the gator skins they sold decided to stay put for we would not lose the rest of our family to the industrial world beyond the boarders of the bayou.” Mr. Leviticus said with pride as he stared off into oblivion.

“Now alas, my brother and I are all that remains of the once great Leviticus Family lineage.” continued Mr. Leviticus who at this point seemed to be talking to himself as he didn’t acknowledge Joel’s presence as he spoke.

“Due to the family tradition of keeping the family bloodline clean and pure, there have been some issues of health with the later generations such as the deformity of both body and mind. My brother being the last offspring born into this family suffers egregiously from these afflictions you see Mr. Fletcher.”

Just then the massive silhouette of a man filled the immense doorway behind the seated Mr. Leviticus.

“Ah Yes dinner is served I do hope you enjoy pork Mr. Fletcher” declared Mr. Leviticus with great pleasure.

“Where is my brother?” Joel asked anxiously as he suddenly remembered they had been traveling together. They were documenting the impact the oil spill had wreaked upon the Gulf of Mexico and those whose livelihood as fishermen had been destroyed.

“You see Mr. Joel when my brother and I happened upon you as well as your aforementioned brother. You were both being beaten mercilessly by a group of roving bikers outside a rather unattractive bar in Bella, the text town over from ours. I phoned the police at

which point the bikers fled. My brother and I collected y’all, brought you to our family home, mended your wounds and have been caring for y’all ever since.” answered Mr. Leviticus promptly.

Before Joel could get the next question out of his mouth the monstrous silhouette standing in the doorway made its way into the room carrying two dinner plates, one in each hand. The mountain of a man was covered in a thick layer of sweat and he had gnarled twisted up limbs like that of an ancient live oak. He stooped and placed a plate in front of Mr. Leviticus delicately. The grotesque giant was wearing grimy dirt encrusted over alls without a shirt. As Mr. Leviticus’s younger brother made his way over to Joel was the floor boards strained to support the weight of his extremely large frame. Long greasy unkept hair obscured the titan’s face. This was accentuated by the fact that Mr. Leviticus’s brother tended to walk with his head lowered as if in mourning. The large man made his way over to Joel where he unceremoniously dropped a plate on the table. The plate crashed down upon the table with a loud clatter which caused some of the meat juice to splatter.

“Eli!” yelled Mr. Leviticus outraged, “You know quite well this table is a family heirloom and must be treated with the respect it deserves. Must you be such an uncouth savage brother? Your just lucky that what you lack in mind you make up for in body. Now leave us and don’t let playing with your food to even enter your minuscule mind.”

Eli who had frozen into a statue at the mention of his name cocked his head sideways with his back to his brother, Mr. Leviticus, as if he was struggling to control his own outrage. His gargantuan muscles tightening at every word that came out of his irritated brother’s mouth. It seemed that Mr. Leviticus’s brother was physically affected by his the harsh reprimanding. When Mr. Leviticus was done chastising his younger brother Eli promptly bent down and wiped the meat juice off the table with one of his hotdog sized fingers. He then hastily exited the dining room utilizing the door behind Joel. Joel’s nostrils were overcome by the smell of rotting flesh that wafted off Eli as he lumbered past on his way out of the room.

“Please excuse my brother’s lack of manners. He is not as civilized as your aforementioned brother. His appearance is quite off-putting especially upon the in initial meeting.” said Mr. Leviticus apologetically before continuing “Dig in Mr. Fletcher you need to regain your strength.”

Joel was starving. He tore in to his meal. His body craved the sustenance. He and Mr. Leviticus ate in silence. Joel couldn’t help but notice the pork chops were fresh and succulent unlike any he had eaten before. The meat was so tender it melted in Joel’s mouth coating his tongue with the fantastic taste of the meat. The smell of the meat was intoxicating just on its own.

“Pardon me Mr. Leviticus but this pork is delicious. I hope you have treated my brother, Zander, as kindly and also treated him to a wonderful meal like this.” Joel said honestly.

“Don’t worry Mr. Fletcher Zander is here in spirit and on the plate I assure you.” Mr. Leviticus said matter of factly with a slight sneer.

“What the hell are you talking about? What are you saying?” Joel asked in full blown panic his heart pounding as if it was attempting hammer its way through Joel’s ribcage.

“You see Mr. Fletcher when times are tough and food is scarce my family’s motto is “If there is no meat there is always man” and this motto has gotten us through many a lean time in our history. We are you see cannibals of conviction and convenance . My family acquired this trait after my ancestor Barnabas Leviticus spent some time in the Fiji Islands back in 1839.”announced Mr. Leviticus as he leisurely chewed his meal with an air of great satisfaction.

“You have to understand that a key piece of Fijian history revolves around cannibalism as my illustrious great granddaddy four times over found out first hand himself.” Continued Mr. Leviticus with admiration. “The indigenous tribes that inhabited the Fiji Islands back then had adopted cannibalism from their long voyage at sea with the lack of adequate nutritious food. This forced the sailors to consume the flesh of the dead for survivals sake. After the land the indigenous tribes cannibalism became a normal part of their diet as more people arrived the competition for natural resources, property and most of all women. Also warring tribes devoured their slain enemies not just for food, but in celebration of their mighty victory.” Mr. Leviticus took a long sip from his mason jar that most likely contained Moonshine.

A growing grin of sadistic delight let Joel know that Mr. Leviticus was enjoying the torment which he was subjecting Joel to. Joel tried with all his might to process the horror of what he had just been told.

“Barnabas was the great explorer of our family. In the Fiji islands he met and befriended Udre. Udre was the chief of one of the more predominate tribes. Barnabas and Udre spent many years together and their bond only strengthened over time as the two became like brothers more than friends.” said Mr. Leviticus triumphantly again taking a long sip from his mason jar of Moonshine before continuing his terrible tale.

“Now the most prevalent part of this story is chief Udre udre, according to the 2003 Guiness World Record, held the title of “most prolific cannibal” having eaten between 872 to 900 people. So as you may of surmised Barnabas learned an extensive about of knowledge on the subject and culture of cannibalism before returning home many year later.”

“Thats fucking insane, your insane!” screamed Joel at the top of his lungs, “This is bullshit!! Your a liar! Your fucking lying you sick son of a bitch!” Joel struggled relentlessly with the chains that confined him to the chair trying desperately to free himself.

“Do not act so surprised Mr. Fletcher as this is not the first time you have heard of cannibalism I’m certain of that,” said Mr. Leviticus in a mocking tone. “Eli can you summon Mr. Zander to the table please I would appreciate it so.” Mr. Leviticus said in a booming voice that dominated the room.

Joel was terrified, completely confused and disoriented. His pulse was racing like that of a jack rabbit on meth. Sweat was rolling down his face like a midsummer rain shower. His eyes frantically searched the room finding nothing to hope for. Joel was trapped alone with two cannibal brothers one of which claimed they killed and cooked his broth er. There was also the mentally crippling thought that he may have indeed dined upon his brothers flesh. This drove Joel to the point of lunacy.

The slow solid steps echoed down the hallway as Eli returned to the dinning room. Joel’s racing mind was flooding his head with horrible scenarios of torture and death. Joel was so wrought with panic it seemed that he could actually feel his hair growing. Finally Eli’s imposing body once again filled the doorway behind Joel his shadow loomed over Joel like a storm cloud waiting out the calm. Eli crept up behind Joel stopping directly behind him. As Eli lurked behind him Joel could hear his labored breath. It sounded steady and deep and ended more or less in an exacerbated sigh coming from directly above his head, but Joel was too terrified to even entertain the idea of looking up into the face of the monstrosity standing over him. Joel felt Eli’s rancid breathe ruffling the hair on the top of his head each time Eli exhaled.

“Where is my brother you demented, backwoods, inbred, hillbilly, son of a bitch? Where is ZANDER?” demanded Joel in frustrated anger struggling so hard that the chains with which he was bound rattled like wind chimes in a hurricane.

“Eli if you’d be so kind” said Mr. Leviticus in a monotone voice indicating his boredom with the matter.

Without warning the immense arm swung around in front of Joel and slammed something on the table before drawing itself back to its owner standing behind him. It happened so fast that Joel was initially too startled to comprehend what was happening. He sat transfixed by fear like a deer in the headlights of an eighteen wheeler barreling down upon it. Then Joel saw what Eli had deposited upon the table in front of him, his brothers Zander’s bloody severed head. Zander’s eyes were fully open, and his face was twisted in sheer agony as if he had seen the angel of death himself before dying.

“JESUS CHRIST! ZANDER!” exclaimed Joel in a fevered pitch as he gazed upon his brothers decapitated head. The shock paralyzed his body and mind.

“Collect yourself Mr. Fletcher your bordering on hysterical,” commanded Mr. Leviticus who was now scowling in absolute disgust and bitter distain.

“Eli, Eli come collect what remains of Mr. Fletcher’s brother and take it back to the processing building quick as can be,” said Mr. Leviticus waving his hand royally back and forth through the thick smokey air as he spoke.

“I think its imperative that you understand. The Leviticus family uses every viable part of the carcass, the last of your brother Zander’s remains will be processed into head cheese,” Mr. Leviticus said sounding more like a man rather than the monster he was.

“Don’t worry Mr. Fletcher you aren’t long for this world thus grievance over eating your brother will be short I assure you.”said Mr. Leviticus leering as he bent forward running his tongue over his yellow nicotine stained teeth.

“You see Mr. Fletcher whats on tomorrow night’s dinner menu is you, but until then would you care for some dessert? No? shame Eli makes a splendid cherries jubilee.”