Tag: for shits and giggles

I was never aware of the fact until one day like another I was standing in my neighbor Joe Bob Billy Bob Jr.’s driveway shooting the shit and drinking some beers. We were taking a brief moment in our conversation (to stare menacingly in contempt and utter disgust at a mutually disliked neighbor’s house) when out of the blue Joe Bob Billy Bob up and out right asked me what my wife’s name is. This question gave me reason to pause because it was such a simple question that at first I could only look at Joe Bob Billy Bob with vacant eyes and questioning face. I suppose it was for that reason Joe Bob Billy Bob decided it was best to elaborate a bit more upon his question. Joe Bob Billy Bob reminded me that we have been  friends for 15 years or so now and during those 15 years whenever I talked about my wife I would always refer to her as just that, my wife and seemed to never use her real name. Finally Joe Bob Billy Bob’s curiosity which had grown constantly through the years as to way exactly I never called my wife by her name in conversation, and felt compelled at this point to ask why that was. I took a long drawl off of my beer and then told Joe Bob Billy Bob since he asked I’d have no problem providing an explanation for him.

Well you see I told Joe Bob Billy Bob when it comes to women I am insanely shy and quite nervous to say the least. When I realized this wonderfully wicked woman was interested in dating me (and it took forever and a day until I became aware of my Wife’s intentions were romantic)  I was extremely excited and very anxious to say the least. It was due to this initial anxiety when my Wife and I started dating that a week into our relationship I realized I had no idea what her name actually was. Luckily for me due to the fact I’m better with faces then with names (point being it’ll take me a while to learn a persons name) I had given her a nickname right from the get go. So I had to make a judgement call should I get force fed a entire Humble Pie and ask her real name OR I could stick with the nickname game and see what happens. I decided to go with the later.

Immediately as soon as I was done talking Joe Bob Billy Bob announced with great conviction that he was calling Bullshit so I was inclined to ask on what grounds. Joe Bob Billy Bob stated he was calling Bullshit because when we got married we had to exchange vows at which point I would HAVE to have learned her proper name, and thusly from that point on my initial argument is moot. Not so I replied for when we were exchanging vows I was so nervous all I could hear was the sound of my own heart pounding in my ears ,BUT thanks to plenty of rehearsals I was able to fly on auto pilot as They say.

At this point Joe Bob Billy Bob obviously didn’t believe me in the least and knew my story was absolute bullshit, BUT he had no proof what so ever which left a small amount of doubt in his mind that maybe just maybe as crazy as my story sounded it could actually be true. As I started walking back to my house I said “My Wife told me to tell you to stop by and don’t be a stranger.”