fuck the police – f-your blog

Twitter: #SocialMediaHypocrites

Let Me start off by Saying it absolutely NO SECRET I Hate, Loath, and Despise Facebook and All it Stands For. Fuckerberg swore He was keeping His users Personal Information Safe, BUT it turned out HE was selling User’s Personal Data to 188 Different fucking Companies. There also the Fact FB is the Number One Social Media Platform for Racist/Hate Groups because FB doesn’t do Dick about Stopping Them. FB also let us Not Forget was also involved with the Rigging of the 2016 Election.

Can You Say Cambridge Analytica?!! CA was a former British Political Consulting Firm that Fuckerberg also Sold User’s Personal Info Too. Cambridge took the User’s Personal Data to Exploit for Political (Republican) Propaganda Purposes such a Misdirection, Misinformation, and it was designed to Specifically Target Voters. That combined with the Fact FB said it will NOT limit or Stop the Spread of Lies, Insult, Fake News, Misinformation, Bullying, Racism, Homophobia, Anti-Semitism, and Threat of Violence (or Infighting Violence). FB does have ONE thing going for it which is it Doesn’t try and Hide its Fucked Up Agenda Anymore They put it Right Out in Front.

Twitter on the Other Hand is Steeped Neck Deep in Utter and Total fucking Hypocrisy. They claim They want a “Safe Environment for its Users” meanwhile They Let Racist Tweet like there’s No Tomorrow and just Pretend They Don’t. Twitter has also Enabled a Certain Orange Asshole to straight out Lie/Insult/Bully on Their Platform with NO CONSEQUENCES.

Oh I’m sorry after almost 4 fucking Years Twitter managed to summon up the Testicular Fortitude to Tag just 2 (out of Hundreds if Not Thousands of Tweets) with Fact Checking Tags. The Obese Orange Bastard had a fucking Tween Level Temper Tantrum and THREATENED TO TAKE TWITTER DOWN WHILE USING TWITTER TO DO IT. How much of a Gutless Punkass Bitch do You have to be to Let a User Shit Talk and Threaten Your Platform on Your Platform, and DO NOTHING about it. Talk about being a fucking Door Mat.

Now The Reason for this Post is Quite Simple for the Umpteenth Time I have been a 7 Day Twitter Induced Suspension. I have mentioned in a Previous Post about Being Suspended Multiple Times, and even went as Far as to Talk Mad Shit about How Twitter Suspensions were a fucking Joke. Well all that Trash Talking circled around and bit Me Squarely on the Ass. Twitter apparently became aware Their “Punishments” for Violation of Their Terms of Service was Feeble at Best. Twitter has recently become MUCH more Strict about Handling Alleged Violations by its Users. Now You can’t Tweet, Retweet, Like, or Respond to a Tweet like You could before during its Lame Suspensions. Twitter has Also increased Their Suspension Time Frame from 24/48/72 Hour Suspensions to an Entire fucking Week.

I’m not going to Bullshit and Say I haven’t pushed the Envelope when it comes to Twitter’s Terms of Service over the Years. I also have been Suspended as I mentioned, BUT I have to admit at Least then I understand Why I was Suspended. An Example I Responded to a Tweet of a Well Known Asshole (You See I don’t engage with Regular People, I’m not a Dickless Basement Dwelling Troll. I have gone after Public Figures like Politicians, Musicians, Actors, essentially Famous People who live in the Eye of the Public) that They could Save the Planet by Killing Themselves. I also told a certain Washed Up Hollyweird Actor and wannabe Political Commentator that if He was so Unhappy about Things He could do US all a Favor and Kill Himself as well. OBVIOUSLY these Tweets were in DIRECT and FLAGRANT Violation of Twitter’s Terms of Service. I know that Now AND I damn well knew it when I Tweeted them.

I have always been Intensely Critical of America’s Police Force and Still think Their Fascist Scumfucks Who Use and Abuse Their Power any and Every Chance the Motherfuckers get. So with all of the Protests against The History of Systemic Racism of the Police, but Police Brutality as Well I have been more than Vocal on the Issue. When I was informed of My Newly Acquired Suspension I Honestly thought it was Due to the Anti-Police Hashtags I have been Using over the Last Few Weeks. The Hashtags are as Follows: #BlueLivesAreBullshit, #BlueLivesMyAss, #BlueLivesMean Nothing, #OnlyGoodCopIsADeadOne, and the Classic #FuckThePolice. To My Total Surprise that WAS NOT the Reason I got a 7 Days Bullshit Twitter Suspension.

For those Who May Not Know or Those Who need a Quick Refreshing on Twitter’s Terms of Use pertaining to “Hateful Content” is and I Quote:

“Violating Our Rules Against Hateful Conduct. You may not promote violence against, Threaten, or Harass other People on the basis of Race, Ethnicity, National Origin, Sexual Orientation, Gender, Gender Identity, Religious Affiliation, Age, Disability, or Serious Disease.”

Here is the Tweet I got Suspended for VERBATIM:

@anananavarro Funny thing is at the First Sign of Trouble this Hillbilly and His Red Neck Friends would Run like Scared Rabbits.

This was a Reply to a Retweet by Anana Navarro who Retweeted a Video of some MAGA Asshole Who referred to Himself as a “Hillbilly” and His Friends as “Rednecks”. This Scumbag was THREATENING to have His Friends and Himself ARM THEMSELVES WITH GUNS and take to the Streets to Administer VIGILANTE JUSTICE if Their Cocksucking Police Deparment ended up being Defunded. The Asshole Actually then said “Me and My Friends Won’t Be Using Rubber Bullets that’s for Sure.”

SO To Recap a Hateful Fucktard angry over the Defunding of Police Issue THREATENING to walk the Streets ARMED, and THREATENS TO KILL PEOPLE (“…Won’t be using Rubber Bullets”. Twitter did NOTHING about the Video that wasn’t just Tweeted it as being countlessly Retweeted, and as Far as I am Aware it is STILL UP ON TWITTER TO THIS VERY DAY.

Thus I got suspended for insinuating that Racist are in fact Cowards who tote Guns and Talk Shit, BUT in reality They are completely Spineless Cowards who’d Run from Trouble (Not Confront it as They would have You believe). All I can figure is Twitter itself didn’t Flag Me the Algorithm/Bots didn’t Report Me. I think its safe to Assume a Fellow Racist who Supports Dumbfucks who Threaten Armed Violence in Response to Something They Don’t Like Reported Me. I think this Proves Racists are Punk Ass Cowards. Again They Talk Mad Shit, Yet No One “Came to get Me” or Contacted Me at All for That Matter. Instead Some Racist Bitchass Hid Behind Twitter and Reported Me like a the Fucking Cowardly Cunt They Truly are.

Thanks For Reading,

By Les Sober

An FYB PSA: When Confronted By Cops

It’s No Secret that I have NO Love for the Police Just Endless Seething Contempt and Disgust. Now True I Hate Authority Figures, But I’m also Not an Ignorant Asshole. Thats to Say I have had PLENTY of Interaction with Police over the Years enough to Know that Cops are Crooks with Badges. The Police Abuse Their Power CONSTANTLY to the Point the Police are the Biggest Criminal Organization in America Today.

BOTTOMLINE: If there are such things as So Called “Good Cops” why then Don’t They Stop the Bad Cops? Thats because while these alleged “Good Cops” aren’t corrupt or abuse their Power THEY DON’T REPORT THE BAD ONES. That’s because even these “Good Cops” adhere to the Code of Silence which is UTTERLY FUCKED. The Rule of Silence is You Don’t Narc Out Your Fellow Police Officers NO MATTER WHAT even if They’re more Crooked than the Criminals just because You’re a Cop Too. And these professedly “Good Cops” still abide by the Code of Silence that Allows Corrupt Cops to Run Rampant in the Street. It’s the World’s Biggest DOUBLE STANDARD. How the Hell can You Be a So Called “Good Cop” if You Allow and Enable the Corrupt Cops to Continue Abusing Their Position by keeping Your Mouth Shut?!!!

With that Said Here are 5 Tips on How to Deal with The Police:

You are NOT Under ANY Obligation to Exit Your Vehicle. Doing so Enables The Police to UNLAWFULLY do a Precursory Visual Search of Your Vehicle. To Circumvent this, Keep ALL Your Doors LOCKED, Crack Your Window enough for a Fist to Snugly fit Through the Opening. ASK WHY You were being Stopped, and Hand the Officer the Identification He/She Requested ONCE THEY ANSWER, Then ROLL THE WINDOW BACK UP.

2. If the Officer asks You for Permission to Search Your Vehicle, Ver Politely and Calmly say the Following: “In Accordance with My 4th United States Constitutional Amendment Rights DECLINE YOUR REQUEST until You Provide Me with a SEARCH WARRANT issued by a MAGISTRATE”, then say NOTHING MORE to The Officers NO MATTER what They Say and/or Threaten to Do. Police DO NOT have the right to Open Your Car Door, Some MAY TRY to do this, this is Why You MUST KEEP Your Door Shut and Locked During a Traffic Stop.

3. Contrary to what the Police might TRY to tell You, it is NOT ILLEGAL TO RECORD THEM during the Performance of Their Duties as Long as You maintain a Distance from Them that DOES NOT give Them Justifiable Reason to Claim You Impeaded upon Them Preforming Their SWORN DUTIES. In Criminal Statutes, impeding upon the Sworn Duties of a Law Enforcement Officer is called “Obstruction of Justice”. If You maintain a Distance of 12 to 15 feet from the Officer You are Recording if You are NOT the Person of Interest then They will have NO JUSTIFIABLE REASON to claim Onstruction of Justice, and Arrest You. IF You are the Officer’s Person of Interest, a CLOSER Distance of 4 to 5 Feet is Suitable for Filming.

AGAIN, IT IS NOT ILLEGAL TO RECORD THE POLICE AT ANY TIME. If the Officer says Differently He/She is Straight up LYING which Cops do all the Time because They Know People are Scared and Intimidated by Them and Have No Clue About the Law or Their Actual Legal Rights. The Police Exploit the Public’s Ignorance and Fear to Literally throw the Rule Book out the Window, and Conduct Themselves anyway They fucking Want even if it VIOLATES YOUR RIGHTS.

4. On March 23, 2015 The United States Supreme Court Rules that Law Enforcement can NOT DETAIN DRIVERS While Waiting for a POLICE K-9 Unit. If a Police Officer THREATENS YOU with a K-9 when You Decline His/Her Request to Search You and/or Your Vehicle, You May Politely Remind the Officer of this Ruling. Ask if You are in Fact Under Arrest for Anything then again Politely ASK TO GO since the Officer has NO PROBABLE CAUSE to Detain You any Longer. If the Officer says “No” to Your Request, The Officer has VIOLATED Their OATH to Uphold the Law, BUT Your 4th Constitutional Amendment Right against UNLAWFUL DETENTION as well as CRIMINAL LAW FOR FALSE IMPRISONMENT.

5. Lastly but Not Least REMEMBER TO ALWAYS RECORD ALL INTERACTIONS WITH THE POLICE!!! Video Evidence of Police Misconduct is a Valuable Thing to Insure Bad Cops get fucking Fired. IT IS NOT ILLEGAL TO RECORD THE POLICE!!!

The Old Police Motto of Protect and Serve has Evolved into a Comply or DIE Mentality as Cops begin to forget Their Job is to UPHOLD the Law while in fact THEY ARE NOT THE LAW. Cops have a SERIOUS POWER TRIP Mentality that reduces them to NOTHING but Bullies with Badges. And then the PUSSIES cry like BITCHES when People criticize Them or Flip them the Bird meanwhile They are Robbing, Raping and Murdering at Will. THE COPS ARE CRIMINALS TOO Don’t Be Fooled, Don’t Allow Yourself to be Bullshitted by The Thugs in Blue.

BLUE LIVES MATTER MY ASS.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

The 1st Amendment & Cops Don’t Mix.

I have been waiting for a situation to present itself so I could argue my point and that being The 1st Amendment & Cops Don’t Mix. Well low and behold that situation I had been waiting for for so long finally arrived.

My Wife and I were driving through the neighboring town where my relative lives. We where on our way to their house because they were in Portugal on vacation, and they needed someone to feed the cat/water the plants while they were away. We had stopped off at the one and only Pizza Parlor to pick up a Pizza and when we pulled out of the parking lot I saw the Cop car sitting at the top of a side street with their lights off. The first thought that came to my mind was GODDAMN TRAFFIC BANDITS, FUCKING ROAD PIRATES! The Second was their unofficial require monthly quota of traffic tickets still existed regardless of its unofficial status. The third and the last thought was based on the so called “Gut Feeling” that I have had sporadicly from time to time throughout my life. Again the feeling was right . As soon as our rear bumper had passed by the front of their patrol car the motherfuckers pulled out with their shitty disco lights a blaze.

We were going a whopping 14 miles an hour (the town speed limit is 30 and every local knows the Cops set up speed traps and do traffic stops all along the main road.), but in this case we had just pulled out of the Pizza Parlor’s parking lot and had only driven 100 feet or so before getting tagged by the cocksucking cops.

The Cops then without pause turned on their PA system and told us over the loud speaker (incase we didn’t know because we’re utter fucktards what was going on or what to do) that we had to pull over. Main street is too narrow for there to be a traffic stop on the side of the road without impending traffic. So We were then instructed by said Cops to pull into the drive way on the right (which ironically was the local Police station/Court house/Town Hall/Jail) and we did. My Wife for some reason decided to pull over and put the car in park as opposed to the usual pulling over and turning the car/engine off. She then scrambled around the trash dump that is the interior of her car for all her proper paperwork, and luckily found it all in spite of the overwhelming mounds of trash.

The Cop strolled up to the drivers side of the car and addressed my Wife in the classic manner saying hey and asking for her drivers license, Proof of insurance and registration. My Wife being so polite it was making me ill immediately hands over all the appropriate requested information. The Cop then demanded to know if there were drugs/guns/explosives or any type of weapon/contraband in the car. I took acceptation to his overtly assertive Cop attitude, and opted to use my 1st amendment right to free fucking speech. I said No over my Wife and proceeded to let the Cops know they can search the car and us because there wasn’t shit on us. I did this because I hate how Cops are always trying to intimidate civilians in these and other situations. Heres a fun fucked up fact to prove what I just said to be true. First off to be a State Trooper you have to be 6 feet taller or taller. This is solely so when the Trooper is standing outside of your car they look more intimidating on purpose. State Troopers also use basic psychology for intimidation purposes such as wearing sunglasses. Its a scientific biological fact that if 2 people are talking and the 1st one is wearing sun glasses thus obscuring their eyes the 2nd one will become naturally unnerved as humans relay on eye contact quite heavily in social situations, but I digress.

The Cop falls into the stereotypical threatening Cop routine. The Cop aggressively tells us there trying to do things the easy way but they could do it the hard way. He then went on to explain that meant they’d search the car and us, call in a fucking K-9 unit and possibly arrest us solely based on our behavior while dealing with them (AKA Be Submissive like a scared fucking dog) This is when I took acceptation to the COp’s partner standing over my shoulder with his fucking super duper halogen flash fucking light.

At this point I tried to reel myself in a bit and did my guttural mumbling. What guttural mumbling is my affectionate term for when I talk in a low, deep voice stringing along my words so only if you REALLY KNOW ME you’ll know what I’m saying. Think of it as me talking in my own personal short hand if you will. My Wife after 14 years of knowing me has the most expertise understanding/deciphering this garbled code of mine. I leaned over and said “Look Motherfucker What You Bout asshole” which simple translates to “Look at this motherfucker over here by me doing the whole unflinching authority rediric bullshit the fucking asshole that this asshole is. Fucking Asshole.” For the duration of this post I will simply write the translated version as not to tax the readers eyes unnecessarily.

The 1st Cop heres me but can’t for the life of himself figure out what the hell I’m saying, BUT he really wanted to know. So he asked me what I said and I responded by saying “I know its a safety issue with a broken tail light and should be fixed ASAP, but I don’t understand nor appreciate the overly aggressiveness nature of your handling it with, thats what I;m taking goddamn acceptation too.” The Cop obviously didn’t appreciate my response and launches into the “Is there and Drugs…in the Car” again to which I respond to ahead and search away, you won’t find shit and I can workout any legalities with my Attorney tomorrow.” Now the Cop REALLY didn’t like that answer. So the Cop actually says to my wife that I’m making them nervous, and of course I had something to say about that shit. I told the Cop I think its fucking hilarious that there 2 grown men armed with Handguns, Mace, Night Stick/Baton and more than likely a shotgun in their car, BUT I’M making THEM Nervous? Seriously thats fucking moronic. The Cop continues to address my wife about what I’m saying and how its fucking everything up apparently when I made a second comment about his Partner still standing behind me unflinching like a fucking Nazi SS solider. As par of the course the Cop then asked me again what I said, and I repeated the same statement as before about dramatic overkill over a simply a broken tail light.

The Cop then suggests I role down my window and talk directly to his partner which quite obviously I didn’t want to do. I rolled down the window in anywise realizing the Cop wasn’t making a suggestion, he was ordering me to do so. His partner asked why I was being so verbal and I said “Because I can thanks to the 1st Amendment, and that We weren’t yelling/screaming, keeping cursing on my part to a stricter minimum, we were complying with the officers requests, nor were we being verbally or physically abusive rather I was just stating my opinion. The only issue that I was aware of was the Cops PERSONALLY taking acceptation to my opinions which is fine, BUT COPS LET PERSONAL FEELING DICTATE THERE PROFESSIONAL CONDUCT leading to abuse of power. An PRIME EXAMPLE of this is The Federal Court had to interject and inform the citizens of America that it is TOTALLY LEGAL and the right of every American Citizen to give the Police the middle finger (at any time or place). This was due to the fact Cops were being given the finger, and then in response they harassed the shit out of the person who flipped them off thusly abusing their Professional Power to deal with a Personal Problem.

Needless to say in the end I just opted to keep my mouth shut to avoid a felonious arrest by these Podunk Police Officers. The Cop’s partner went on to explain that he’s there for his partner’s and his safety as they don’t know who or what could be waiting when they walk up to a car. Fine that makes total sense and I totally agree. My point on that subject was it was unnecessarily over bearing and basically a dick move because he remained in his “Defensive Safety” stance far to long to be legitimate. I mean lets fucking face it, while he may be providing safety for himself and his partner the Cop NONE THE LESS was also using his position to visually search me and the interior of the car (i.e. He got real close and shined his fuck light into the glove compartment when My Wife put her personal information away. He was also seeing if his presence made us nervous as if we were hiding something from them, what the fuck happened to INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY?! Seems to me the Cops are conducting themselves under the gneiss of the opposite theory Guilty until proven innocent and THATS BULLSHIT, un-American, UNPROFESSIONAL and leads to POLICE CORRUPTION AND ABUSE, but thats a different story for another day.

Thanks for the Read,

Les Sober

McCoy’s Artistic Chaos

Les felt exhilarated and full of self righteousness as he drove as fast as humanly possible towards the freeway. Adrenaline was flowing through his veins like water through a flood gate making his skill feel electrified. His senses were all on high alert. As Less banked a right turn onto the freeway the car to fish tailed slightly. His blue tooth began to ring. Goddamnit Les thought to himself, for he knew it was one of two people. It was either his manager Mortimer, or the goddamn cops, but he’d done a good job at avoiding the police. It’s the goddamn media you can’t out run those vultures constantly circling waiting for tragedy and death to strike. Begrudgingly Les switched his blue tooth on as he felt his undying rage he possessed flare up all over again.
“What do you want?!,” demanded Les angrily.
“Les it’s Mortimer, your agent”
“I know who the hell you are Mort, I sign your goddamn paychecks. Not to mention I pay you to be my MANAGER NOT MY MOTHER. I already have one of those, and I haven’t talked to her in eight years AND COUNTING!” yelled Les at the top of his lungs now enraged that Mortimer has called him in the first place.
“Les your on the news again, thats 5 times this month alone,” Mortimer said in a slow authoritative tone like a teacher or librarian.
“FREE PRESS MORTIMER FREE GODDAMN PRESS!” screamed Les as Les’s driving began to become as erratic as his behavior. Les was preoccupied at that moment punching his steering wheel. This was not at all satisfying Les’s explosive anger. The steering wheel was thin and circular so Les’s fists of fury mostly missed it only fueling Les’s animosity.
“Yes, Les free press is good” replied Mortimer condescendingly as he lost patience for Les’s outrageously unpredictable, temper driven, theatrics.
“Les you’ve really outdone yourself this time. I mean, a hit and run Les? seriously why? Why Les do you feel compelled to create not only fine art but unyielding chaos all around you?”
“DON’T be condescending to me you pion!” Les growled, as emotion started to replace logical thought. “That scum of the Earth deserved what he got, and what he got was hit by a car. I WAS DRIVING! SO WHAT?”
“Les for Christ’s sake you tried to drown a critic in the punch bowl. Then you beat another critic of yours with a lawn jockey. NOW you top it all off with a hit and run. Please do tell why, and how this monstrosity came to be.”demanded Mortimer as he took a long draw from a bottle of Pepto Bismol which he kept in a desk drawer for when dealing specifically with Les.
“I was at my opening Deviants of Art, and Phil Edwards from the New Yorker was there. I over heard Phil telling other patrons that my art is over rated and that this was due to my lack of classical training or some shit.”explained Less occasionally stalling as his mind came up with the words faster than Les’s mouth could say them. “This pompous twit had the gaul to dare criticize my work, my work is goddamn invaluable to the art world. My point, is this Mortimer, art is SUBJECTIVE. If art is SUBJECTIVE, why then do I need CRITICS to comment, judge and condemn, my splendid works? Well, I saw that piece of filth Phil walking to his car, and I jumped into a car the valet had just brought around. I crept up behind him, lined up the front right corner of the car with the back of his leg, pounded the pedal to the metal and clipped him with the car. I wasn’t trying to kill the son of a bitch, though being dead would be his greatest accomplishment. I just clipped him to scare the shit out of him, and send him flying through the air. I figured he’d then land and roll across the asphalt. I cannot turn off the fires of my creative passions just because I’m not painting in my studio, it’s not my fault that my artist passion doesn’t translate in real life.”
“You have a good point Les BUT the way you make it leaves a lot to be desired AND NOW you tell me in spite of the already bad situation that you ALSO STOLE A CAR.,” quipped Mortimer like a peeved off parent. “Well, Les what are we going to do about this? You’ve gone to far. I already called in Art Management’s legal team.”
“Fire them for all I care I detest lawyers they’re the art critics of the legal world. Your right Mortimer I’m done with this shit, the art, the openings, the critics. I’ve decided it is time to retire.” Les said sounding rather insane.
“Retire! I don’t care. I’d live longer if you did,” responded Mortimer “But your in real trouble Les. Assault is one thing. Grand theft auto and attempted vehicular homicide is a totally different animal all together.”
“I DON’T CARE Mortimer I’m headed for the Florida Keys. The police can just TRY and locate me in a chain of 1,400 islands. I’m not a moron I’m not going to the obvious spots like KeyWest or KeyLargo or whatever. I’m going to buy one of the little unknown islands to retire to” ranted Les with growing intensity.
“Well, then it was a pleasure, of sorts anyway, working for you and while you are an artist you need to learn to control your artists passions outside of your studio.” Mortimer said in honesty
“Thanks Mortimer for putting up with all my shit and bailing me out countless times,” said Les ambivalently “It’s five o’clock somewhere and thats where you’ll find me.”

Patrolman Pud Whacker & The Night Of 1,000 Tickets

It was a warm summer’s day back in The Mother State I remember it well, time as not dulled the vivid details of that day in the least. I was driving around town aimlessly trying to find something to do in a town trapped in constant small time stagnation. I ended up stopping by my friend Arminian’s grandmother house and found him at home with his long term high school sweet heart girlfriend by the name of Eon. Not to long after picking Arminian and Eon up we ran into a mutual friend in the 7-11 parking lot called Hermoor the self proclaimed “Last Norwegian Viking”. Like us Hermoor was bored out of his Nordic God loving mind and had nothing to do as well decided to join our futile quest for entertainment.

We had been aimlessly driving in virtual circles for about half an hour when I made a right turn onto a highway accidentally cut some random red pick up truck off. The driver was a beer bellied middle aged man in a stereotypical John Deer baseball cap, dingy flannel shirt and sporting a scruffy unkempt wild man of the woods beard. At this point in time the term road rage had not been defined and coined into the american lexicon as of yet ,BUT thats exactly what this moronic hillbilly bellend had going on. The driver was tail gating the holy shit out of me while screaming like a banshee and waving his hands around like a Hitler during one of his speeches.

The problem at hand I was faced with was I had 2 choices and had to make one on how the hell to best handle this road raging dickbag. On one hand I could keep driving until I hopefully lose the fool and that would be that problem solved. OR I could pull over and my friends and I could beat this wannabe bad ass into the ICU. Blinded by his road rage the pick up truck prick had failed to notice he was one middle aged outta shape man versus 3 twenty somethings figuring a fight would relieve the eternal state of boredom for a bit. I decided to attempt and avoid a fight due to the fact that inevitably the cops would be called followed by us getting arrested and the other guy getting a ride to the nearest emergency room. Unfortunately in such a small ass tiny town its next to impossible to lose anyone especially if they’re bumper fucking your car into next week.

Finally I drove behind a shitty strip mall to reach main street when low and behold there are 2 cop cars sitting side by side as they do when the officers are chatting about the bullshit they pull with tax payers money. FOR ONCE I figured the cops would be helpful in deterring the Pick Up Truck Fucker to lay off his wannabe vigilante war path and we could be rid of this son of a bitch. At first my idea seemed to have worked as I drove past the parked cop pow wow and the Pick Up Pecker pulls right up to the pow wowing police and starts ranting like a Meth head on a bender so I figured well hell that douche bag is the cops problem now.

I pulled out of the shitty strip mall onto main street and managed to drive 2-3 miles before I look in my rear view mirror and see BOTH cop cars driving up on me quite seriously with lights on and all that fun shit. I pulled over confused as to what the hell I did other than save some ungrateful asshole from eating soup through a straw for months on end. That and I wasn’t speeding and I obeyed all traffic signs and shit because well there were 2 cops present so what the hell am I getting pulled over for?!

Thats when I officially met Patrolman Pud Whacker a 25 year old just graduated from the police academy and so fresh out of the wrapper he stilled smelled like a new car. Patrolman Pud Whacker asked me what the pick up truck deal was all about so I explained the situation in full. Now I was the picture of refractory when I was younger as I didn’t give a shit about the game and went out of my way to shit all over the so called rules. Patrolman Pud Whacker essentially dismissed the Pick Up deal and just plain started to hassle us “young punks” at which point I all but lost my shit. I vented my increasing anger at this ass backward situation where for once in my/our lives we didn’t do the wrong thing by letting the pick up driver act the fool without inflicting grievous bodily harm.

Patrolman Pud Whacker broke right into the snide superiority of a cocksucking cop who just hit the streets and is getting an erection from the new found authority (My guess is Pud Whacker was a punk bitch who was bullied and beat up all through high school so now being a cop is his way of settling his the score with society) Anyway things between Patrolman Pud Whacker escalated quickly to say the least as our voices rose and I let the profanity train go hurtling on its way to obscenityville. I was viciously arguing that messing with us instead of dealing with some reckless revenge driver’s road rage was exactlly why America is fucked as well as why no one trusts nor likes what the American police force has turned into.

So to be a MEGA prick and also prove my point Patrolman Pud Whacker preceded to walk around my car in a malicious 360 of dickdom writing tickets for every and all traffic infractions he could find wrong with my car. At the end of our lovely 15 minute roadside shit storm I was handed a literal fist full of tickets that totaled $1,200 and change.

Summery: Cops are Crooks so handle things yourself because cops can only hurt you they don’t help anyone BUT themselves and now in 2016 cops aren’t just crooks anymore their cold blooded power tripping killers.