FYB will Not Be Posting Any New Content Between 13th through the 15th of this Month. The Reason for this Unfortunate Delay is Due to the Fact I will be away from the Office having been invited to Fish for Bullseye Snakeheads Down South. I mean how could I not be Chomping at the Bit to Catch what the Media Dubbed THE FRANKENFISH! An Invasive Species that Decimates Local Environments by Eating the Native Fish, Frogs, Toads, Mice, Rats, Small Water Foul (ie Duckling), and Lizards until they’re simple are None Left. Their the Equivalent of a Swarm Hostile Aquatic Locusts. Bullseye Snake Heads are Armed with Razor Sharp Teeth, Highly Aggressive Attitude, Ability to Breath Air (Allowing them to Survive 3 Days out of the Water), The Ability to Move Over Land, An Endless Appetite Devouring Anything in Their Way, and They Fight like Marlin when They’re on the Line. This makes Them a Formidable Foe indeed.
Alright it’s Time for Another FYB Update so here We go. As We get Our shit together More and More and prepare the Serious Rule 2020 some Changes Obviously had to be Made and some still Do in All Honesty. The Current Change is FYB will be Posting a Minimum of One (if Not more which is Our Goal in the “Getting Our shit together” Department. Since We have rather Drastically Expanded and Increased Our Content adding a Whole Dimension to FYB which We sincerely Hope Everyone Enjoys as Much as We do.
Now Why We increase Our Posts FYB will Post 6 Days a Week and, FYB will NOT be Posting on Sundays. The reason is My Friends, Family and Doctor have Suggested, Encouraged, and Damn Near Demand I take a Day Off. I don’t like the Idea in the Least, BUT I do realize How beneficial it would be for Everyone Involved Myself Included. Not only would a Day off (from ALL Work or Work Related Projects) would seriously Aid in Preserving what’s left of My Sanity and Health as well as My Wife’s, Friend’s, Family, and the Few Full Time FYB Contributors turning around Here.
So I’m willing to try and Abandon My workaholic Tendencies for 24 hours once a week for Now. I know its Not just about Me and that a Change, even if it’s an Extremely Shitty One like this One in The End it’s about the Greater Good. Thank You to ALL THOSE who have stuck with Us through Our initial Issues, Evolution, and Growing Pains We really and truly Appreciate it more than You will EVER Know.
P.S. FYB Up Dates like This One are NOT considered Content so This isn’t Today’s Minimum Post.
I didn’t want to Leave Our Readers Hanging (which Sucks I know) so I’m taking a minute to let Our Readers know what’s going on Currently. My Brother (who I see once a Year for 3 to 4 days) is in Town visiting which was a Pleasant Surprise as They Say.
Apparently My Brother and His Wife needed to get Out of The Big City and Decompress so They planned a rather Impromptu Trip Down to The Woods, and will be Here for a Whole Week. I know since He came into Town I have been Negligent on FYB’s Daily Posting for which I Apologize. I assure You once My brother returns to The Big City things will be Back on Track, and FYB Daily Posting will Return.
I was planning on writing Today’s Post to give Our Reader’s a Heads Up that We were going on a Road Trip because it is Time. What Time you may be asking Yourself?! Well it’s one of those Times in Life when You just simply need To Get Away from All the Usual Bullshit in Life. A Time to Leave all the Happy Horseshit in the Rearview Mirror to Stretch One’s Leg while Getting a Change of Scenery.
I was going to say that New Posts may be scarce while We were going to be on the Road, BUT Alas I’m sitting at Our Home Office writing this Post instead.
We were on the Way to Board Our 4 Big Dogs and Little did We know one Hell of a fucked up Story was about to Suddenly Unfolded front of Our Eyes. It started with a Car Totaling Accident, and Ended with Several Felons getting Caught and Subsequently Arrested. It is truly one of the Strangest fucking Stories I have ever had the Unpleasant Privilege to be a Part of.
SO since the Trip has been Postponed due to the Fact it was Our Car that was Totaled (and Yes of course the Assholes We ran into Their Vehicle didn’t get a single fucking scratch) We Now have to Stay fucking put and Deal with the Insurance Shit/Buying a New Car before We can hit the Road Again.
THUS I will be Posting the Story, with Actual Accident Scene Photos, in It’s ENTIRETY Tomorrow, and I assure You it is a Story thats GUARANTEED to Utterly Blow Your fucking Mind.
Until Tomorrow I will sit here and Continue to Lick My Wounds as They Say.
We had a Few Issues that We meant to Address, but before We could They became a Real Problem. We have been Working with Our Tech People to Fix the Current Problem (and Underlying Issues) and Eliminate said Problem in the Future. We are Confident that as of This Evening FYB should be Operating/Functioning Properly. Regular Content Posting Shall Resume Tomorrow. For Now I am Breathing a Sigh of Relief, Cracking Open a Beer, and Sparking Up a Fatty in Celebration of Another Bullet Dodged.
I would like to Personally Apologize for ANY and ALL inconvenience this may have caused Our Readers. I along with the Small FYB Team Honestly and Truly Appreciate Your Interest and Support. Sincerely Thank You.
As You may be Aware We’ve been doing some Seriously Long Overdue Improvements here at FYB from Additions such as Videos ( I know I said LONG Overdue) to Software to Help Maintain FYB, and Insure that FYB runs Smoothly and Unimpeded for Our Readers.
I have decided to at least for the time being Limit the Number of Projects I’m working On/With. This way I have More Time to be Properly Committed to FYB. We have Revived Our Small devoted Crew, and We are all dedicated to The Goal of Improving FYB Any and All ways We can.
We fully realize We have some Serious Catching Up to do so Please Bare with Us just a Little longer, and You won’t be Sorry I can most Assuredly Guarantee You That.
To Help Us make up for Lost Time We decided to Enlist the Aid of WordPress Live. WordPress Live in the Computer World is rather New, and was Designed to Help Users of WordPress (which obviously We are). They are Dedicated to Improving, Expanding, and Promoting Their Sites/Blogs. So it sounded like exactly what We need right now to expedite Our Improving FYB.
THEY ARE NOT TECHNICAL SUPPORT & YOU WILL STILL HAVE TO CALL YOUR HOST PROVIDER FOR TECH RELATED PROBLEMS/ISSUES.
With that said Here’s What the fuck is going on Currently, and I will keep the boring Tech details to an absolute minimum since they’re as boring to write as They are to read trust Me and Here We Go.
As it always seems to this shitnado started when one of the New Security Alert programs brought an issue to Our attention. The message read basically To Whom It Concerns there’s a fucking issue. The issue is Your site is being blocked from being indexed on Search Engines. Yes Like Google and EVERYONE on Earth fucking lives on fucking Google.
Well as We all know having a Blog with NO PRESENCE ON GOOGLE is a serious fucking issue to have. Without Google (and Other Search Engines) it be like opening a Retail Store without advertising We’re talking there isn’t even a Sign on the Door. I mean what’s the fucking point if NO ONE KNOWS YOUR SHOP IS EXISTS?!
First Off I say We because it was a Multi Team Player Scenario. I was on the Phone as well as SpaceDog, and Nathan McCoy all at the same time in an Insane Round Robin Style Situation. At least one if not all 3 of Us were on the fucking Phone at any given time Working Non Stop to Resolve The Issue and Solve the fucking Problem.
We first called WordPress Live (WPL) who bent over fucking backwards doing EVERYTHING They possibly could to Help Us and then some. At the end of the Conversation it looked to be a Tech issue which means its Our Hosting Service Bluehost’s Jurisdiction as I mentioned before WPL are NOT TECH Support.
We called Bluehost (BH) who once again proved to be NOTHING BUT UTTERLY FUCKING USELESS. The Guy We talked to sounded like He was literally about to fucking commit Suicide, and didn’t seem to give a shit about doing His job that’s for shit sure.
The BH Guy would mumble some sort of computer terminology, ask Me to hold REPEATEDLY as He did whatever the fuck it was He kept doing. Now He didn’t put Me on the standard Hold with shitty Elevator Music He just stopped fucking talking. So I’d sit for 20-25 minutes listen to this asshole Type while Breathing in My Ear like a fucking obscene Phone Call.
The call concluded with the BH Guy was He could do a damn thing to help Me as apparently He said “Everything Looked Fine” and ‘Check Out Normal” leaving Me with just One Option. The Option was to send a Report via e-mail to BH Administrators and wait 24 TO 36 Hours (More like 48-72 hours in Reality) for a response still fucked with the Presenting Problem mind You.
I call WPL again where a Extremely Nice Woman went above and beyond the Call of fucking Duty to Try and Assist Us. Unfortunately She couldn’t locate the Problem, BUT She wasn’t leaving Us empty handed. She went on to tell Us VERY DETAILED and EXTREMELY SPECIFIC Directions for Us to relay to BH who had been having a Problem locating the Problem as Well. The Number One Offender if You will in Her experience would be a Robots.TxT File running Amok like an asshole.
We call BH back again, and again Some Sad Sack of Shit Woman drones on about How They can’t see any issue at all. This Time We give Her the Instructions that were given to Us by WPL. The Woman says as far as the first order again She couldn’t find fuck all wrong, and then She tells Us There is No Robot.Txt File it simply doesn’t seem to exist as far as She was Concerned.
SO fucking off We go calling WPL back. Tis time the Wonderfully Nice Lady assisting Us located the Problematic Robot.txt file, but NOT being a Technician She couldn’t actually fix it. We told Her Our ongoing issue with BH claiming They can’t see nor find an issue in the first fucking place.
She immediately e-mailed Us everything We needed to know pertaining to Our current situation. Armed with a Proper Diagnosis and a Set Plan for BH to follow so They could do Their fucking job and ACTUALLY FIX SOMETHING We felt the most positive had Had in the past 5 fucking Hours dealing with Our Issue.
Back at BH the Fuckwit We talked to couldn’t Help Us, in fact once again BH couldn’t GO A GODDAMN THING TO HELP. We lost Our fucking Minds as We REPEATEDLY told the BH Assfuck WHAT the Issue WAS and WHERE IT WAS LOCATED AT.
This worked to No Avail. Apparently even with WPL Diagnosing the Problem, and Locating the Offending Robots.Txt File BH claimed They were Absolutely Oblivious. We the informed the Prick that BH’s Service SUCKS SHIT, Their Customer Service is Complete Unadulterated CRAP, and We would be Sure to NOT Renew with Bh Next Year (Also We informed Them We would be screaming about BH’s Never Ending Bullshit to The Fucking World or Internet in this particular case.)
The Day Ended with a final call to WPL were We essentially just vented in exhausted frustration in the utter lack of competence over at BH, and Most Importantly the fucking Problem had NOT be Fixed. The WPL Guy was very cool and Let us Vent before doing everything He could think of to Help Us out, but it was basically a fucking Waiting Game.
The following Day (Friday) We attended to all of Life’s Demands We had not been able to attend to the previous Day due to the ongoing, and possibly still unresolved issue. I for one spent the Day checking My fucking E-mail like a Love Sick Tween for incoming E-mail from the BH Administrator which never came.
Saturday Morning I get an e-mail from a BH Administrator simply telling Me that They got My fucking report, but right now They are experiencing a High Volume of E-mails currently so IT WILL TAKE THEM EVEN LONGER to get around to doing dick.
I then out of curiosity called Our Security Company who said They were unaware of the Situation as They hadn’t identified and Blocked any sort of Bot issue stemming from a Robots.TxT File. The Security Guy after hearing the whole fucking story suggested We contact the Software Maker’s Themselves since BH and WPL were falling short in solving the Problem. My Wife then spent a while Online researching and Learning about the Plug In Piece of Shit that had Alerted Us to begin with.
My Wife after about 20 minutes online called BH and spoke with a Woman who was the 1 in 100 that knew what the fuck She was Doing. It always seems like calling Tech Support that Your playing Russian Roulette with The Customer Service Reps. It’s as if You have to see how many it will take BEFORE YOU FIND The One Helpful Bastard in the Buch. Anywho My Wife and the BH Woman found a Viable Solution and We Simply ended up Uninstalling/Deactivating the Problematic Plug In.
Several Hours Later I fucking around Online and still a bit bent about how such a simple solution has eluded so many PAID PROFESSIONAL COMPUTER TECH SUPPORT FUCKERS as well as THE OTHER COMPUTER PROFESSIONALS involved Who look far too long to deliver actual Resolution.
I found out the Plug In Program We had had issue with had an Override Option that needed to Be SPECIFICALLY Selected TO AVOID THE VERY PROBLEM WE WERE HAVING. My Point is why didn’t the PAID COMPUTER PRO who recommend the Plug In in the first fucking place DIDN’T MENTION THAT EXTREMELY FUCKING IMPORTANT FACT, The one that keeps Your Site from being Blocked from Google by the Very Plug In that’s supposed to improve shit.
What is The Moral to This Twisted Tale You ask?!
WordPress Live are Incredibly Helpful, Positive, Encouraging, and Knowledgable. They will willingly do EVERYTHING They can to Help You NO MATTER HOW fucked up the Problem. Dealing with WPL is comforting like Dealing with an Old Friend instead of some Pion Cog in a Massive Corporate Machine. WPL is The Best Computer Service We have EVER COME ACROSS AS WELL AS USE. We simply can’t say Enough Kind Words about WPL.
and as far as Bluehost is concerned………
Bluehost fucking sucks so fucking bad it’s like nothing We have ever encountered before. From the Lackluster Clinically Depressed sounding IT Reps to Their complete inability to preform even the simplest of Their Job Functions. The Administrators are no fucking better the lazy sacks a festering shit. All fucking Bluehost does is Apologize. It’s apparently ALL They can fucking do since They can’t fix a fucking thing.
We Have Included a Video Below By One of FYB’s Favorite Musical Oddities, and would like to Dedicate it ToThe Sad Sack Sons of Bitches over at Bluehost.
Play it Safe and Save Your Sanity BOYCOTT BLUEHOST.
Hey good readers this is the first (and more than likely the only) time we the staff here at f-yourblog.com will be able to address you directly. Les has given us this unique opportunity due to well a few things actually. To keep things short and concise we will list WTF is Going on here in no specific order.
We are all extremely psyched with our new home offices in the southern country (which we have already named The Black Lodge), and to be out of the soul sucking great souther swamp. We have almost completely resettled and ready to get f-yourblog revered up to its fully awesome potential
We are aware Les claimed to have our operation up and running by July 15th. Les in all actuality shot a glance at a wall calendar (yes he’s that old) and went with the 1st number he saw that at the time he thought made sense. WE APOLOGIZE for this miscommunication and inconvenience.
We are also aware of the fact the Les has launched the Road Tripping with f-yourblog.com series (posting Navigator rules/regulations for example) without actually explaining wtf it is exactly. So with out further a delayed ado here it is. Road Tripping is an experimental brain child of Les’s in Gonzo-Gorilla photography and videography. The teams consist of two people the driver and the aforementioned navigator. The road trip has no designated destination or itinerary the rules are simple return on time and keep content from the road coming consistently. The pictures/video taken will not feature the usual bullshit such as standing at the grand canyon, posing by the statue of liberty, standing by a star’s star in hollyweird, no disney postcard crap, no posed pictures all subjects must remain oblivious of photographing/filming (people act fake as shit all bowing up and grinning like court jesters while posing in some cliche pose when they even see a camera, man’s natural born vanity) Bottom line: All photos/videos must be viewed through the absurdly insane artist’s eyes to see the bizarre world that they live inside the confines of their skulls.
Fuckbook (facebook) update of sorts?! The fact that fuckbook locked Les out of his accounts (Personal page and promo for f-yourblog.com) because for personal privacy Les used a pen name. Meanwhile on fuckbook live assholes and psychofucks posted murders, bragged about killing people and posted violent police chases filmed by the suspect. ANYWAY the point is fuckbook threatened to dismantle Les’s pages unless he could prove his identification in 2 weeks THEY HAVEN’T. While Les being barred currently YOU CAN STILL CHECKOUT LESS SOBER and f-yourblog.com’s PAGES for shits and giggles or to kill time while your perched on the crapper.
5. Les unfortunately still has the displeasure of selling our old home offices in the great souther swamp, and as of a phone call Friday afternoon, has been virtually unavailable. He’s had a phone attached to his ear and paces feverishly as he remedies whatever the issue is (we don’t honestly know, but Les keeps saying something about a shitty handyman who if Les ever sets eyes on again he will stab said handyman in the face repeatedly with a rusty fork?!)
6. While Les has an affinity for Twitter because its the 2nd most effective form of free promotion, and lets face it we are bout broke (we survive off a steady diet of toilet wine and sardines and saltines) WE HAVE BROUGHT TO LES’S ATTENTION that we should run the road tripping series simultaneously HERE and on twitter. Les agreed with a patented “Fuck it. Do it.” As we already have compiled over 800 photographs and a large handful of videos already we can get the series up and running tomorrow easy as a $2 crackwhore.
7. We have lost SpaceDog along the move and don’t know his current whereabouts as of late. Though Spacedog is not clocked on our radar Les assured us he has caught up with SpaceDog who was pounding Singapore Slings (like his name was Hunter S. Thompson) and killing it at the casino. We look foreward to having SpaceDog back with us as soon as he gambles himself broke
8. Lastly Les is trying to get another chief contributor by the name of Bujo to complete what he is referring to as his “3 pronged trifecta” We have absolutely no further information or details pertaining to this artistic collaboration.
Thats all we have to report now, thanks for reader’s continued support and encouragement.
First I would like to personally thank all the readers for the kind comments, compliments, enthusiasm and support, I truly do appreciate it. I am just sorry that due to a recent and RESOLVED technical issue the current comment section were lost.
While there is a handful of readers who find the time and attention put into each and every article, and I am also fully aware that the quite timely posting of new articles can irritate some readers as well. So I will do my best to help explain my slightly lengthy writing process and give the official f-yourblog mission statement.
f-yourblog’s Mission Statement is as follows:
I will put 100% into each and every article or I simply won’t post it.
I will NEVER produce content for contents sake.
I fully believe my readers are much smarter then the average individual and because of this I will NEVER force feed my readers meaningless,bland,boring,generic,mindless or vacantly fickle fluff.
I will be adding Pictures as well as Videos, BUT I must inform you they will only be posted as an intricate part of the article to add a new aesthetic dimension. You will never see pictures of celebrities, what I ate for lunch or some bullshit top 10 list (example-Top 10 crazy Hollyweird couples of 2000 whatever or top 12 bad haircuts of famous people etc.) Nor will you see mundane videos such as a cat trying to get into a tissue box or some poor schlub getting hit in the balls/getting fucked up doing some asinine stunt. Shit like that is why I abandoned FaceBook several years ago at this point. I have no plans to return to Facebook UNLESS I need too to help promote this site which I realize will more than likely have to be done.
If any reader has a question, inquiry or suggestions and are wondering how to reach me outside the perimeters of this Weblog please refer to the article “Smoke signals don’t cut it anymore” and thanks again for the continued interest.
The Writing Process Explained:
I send 120 to 144 hours thinking about topics and content of the upcoming article.
After I have selected a topic (in all honesty I have a note book with well over 100 future topics) I spend the next 72 to 96 hours mulling the article over in my mind formulating a outline of sorts.
I then I actually write the article which takes around 24 to 36 hours.
I then subject the new article to an insanely intense and rigorous editing process (I have edited a article so seriously that by the time I was done writing it it was in fact an entirely different article) The editing process alone can take 24-48 hours.
After all that if I feel the article is up to f-yourblog’s rather high standards then and ONLY then will I post the article.
NEW DEVELOPMENT here at f-yourblog:
For the 1st and ONLY time I will be bringing in a contributing writer known only as Spacedog. I am doing this for 3 very simple reasons which are the following.
The first being I have been good friends with Spacedog for more years then I can accurately calculate though its been since High School, and trust me that was several centuries ago.
Second Spacedog and I have had multitudes of late night intoxicated conversations that were so entertaining that first thing when I woke up the next day, we also have been mulling over the idea of starting a podcast, but I digress for now.
The 3rd and final reason is this Self Preservation allow me to explain further. I am not ignorant to the fact especially as the weblog grows,develops and evolves it will be increasingly hard for just one person (and that person being me) can logically and realistically handle alone. I learned this from the cautionary tale of former ECW (Extreme Championship Wrestling) owner the legendary Paul Hayman. Paul tried to solely remain running his organization as it grew and thusly was responsible for every aspect of his company. Paul booked shows and talent, produced their weekly television show, all promotion of ECW and was in charge of merchandising, accounting, venues and much, much more. While this endeavor was admirable it was futile as Paul became increasing over whelmed (not once asking for help) and the pressure got to be to much ( it got to the point Paul’s health was declining significantly, remember kids STRESS DOES KILL.) and he ended up having to sell the company or close up shop once and for all. To everyones surprise, mine included, Paul sold ECW to the WWE who then ran the company into the ground eventually dismantling ECW all together.
Obviously I don’t want to end up in the same Paul Hayman Boat, BUT at the same time I don’t want a whole group of people trying to influence f-yourblog and generally mucking things up as well as getting in the way. So the only sensible solution was to take on a collaborating partner that way f-yourblog can continue to produce superior content without the aggravation or detriment. I would hate to see f-yourblog close its doors for good and am trying to keep it actively relevant and myself as sane as possible along the way. Spacedog has already sent me a giant gaggle of articles which I will reading and reviewing for content/writing standards that match those here at f-yourblog, and then periodically post them in the upcoming weeks.
Ladies and Gentlemen That is All (for now)
Sincerely,
Less Sober Head Writer and Administrator of f-yourblog.com
Les Sober
Les Sober
By Les Sober
By Les Sober
By Les Sober
