Tag: FYB

FYB’s Personal Pandora’s Box is About to Bust Wide Open.

Well Hello Dear Reader,

This is just another quick Peak Behind the FYB Curtin to Let You Know what We are Up To.

SpaceDog has returned from a Cerebral Sabbatical of sorts and We couldn’t be Happier about that.

Now that I have gone 166 Rounds with the Issue of Time Management  I have Managed to Free Up some Time to give FYB the Attention that it Truly Deserves.

What that means essentially is FYB is about to go through some rather Serious Growing Pains in the Next few Months.

       

I have a Virtually Insurmountable amount of Catch Up to Accomplish to say the fucking least. There are so MANY Unorthodox and Unconventional Oddities, Mysteries, Curiosities, and Discoveries Roaming This Reality of Ours I barely know where the fuck to Begin.

SO I will be Using the so called “Monkey Method” We Throw a Bunch of Shit at the Wall and See what Sticks as Content comes at a Much Quicker Pace. If You LIKE something by all means Let Us Know. If You HATE something by all means Let Us Know. We aren’t at all Afraid of Criticism.

       

FYB’s Amended Mission Statement Update Below.

We are Our Own Alternative Dimension as to Adhere to Our Uniquely Unusual Agenda with Absolute and Utter Abandon. We will continue to Feed the Creative Hedonism with an Epileptic Intelligence, and Unapologetic President.

We are the 7th Dimension to Your 6th, a Niche within a Niche within a Niche Once More running on a Transcendental Time Line Searching out the Secrets of The Soul. Thriving on an Undying Curiosity to fill Our Emporium of Abominations with Abnormal Creations of Kinds and Creeds.

       

We SHUN the Inane and Mundane Mainstream full of Floating Bloated Corporate Corpses clogging up the Rivers of Creativity. The Mainstream is NOT CREATIVE it is DESTRUCTIVE. It Chokes the Life Out of Ideas and Slaughters Original Thought.

We are the Reuniting of Split Personalities Standing Victoriously in The Infinitely Unyielding Vastness of the Virtual Void. We are Higher than the Hight Road, and Lower than the Low Road a Lost Circus Sideshow Attraction abandoned by The Wayside only to Defy Death with Insanity to Achieve Immortality.

       

We are the Ideas that Lurk in the Confines of Your Cranium, We are the Thoughts that Linger while Sitting inside Your Skull. Our Strength comes from Those who Try and Kill Us.

Remember to Question Everything and Everyone. Reality is a Construct.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

FYB Update of Goings Ons: WordPress Live Vs. The Bluehost

Hello Dearest of Reader,

As You may be Aware We’ve been doing some Seriously Long Overdue Improvements here at FYB from Additions such as Videos ( I know I said LONG Overdue) to Software to Help Maintain FYB, and Insure that FYB runs Smoothly and Unimpeded for Our Readers.

I have decided to at least for the time being Limit the Number of Projects I’m working On/With. This way I have More Time to be Properly Committed to FYB. We have Revived Our Small devoted Crew, and We are all dedicated to The Goal of Improving FYB Any and All ways We can.

We fully realize We have some Serious Catching Up to do so Please Bare with Us just a Little longer, and You won’t be Sorry I can most Assuredly Guarantee You That.

       

To Help Us make up for Lost Time We decided to Enlist the Aid of WordPress Live. WordPress Live in the Computer World is rather New, and was Designed to Help Users of WordPress (which obviously We are). They are Dedicated to Improving, Expanding, and Promoting Their Sites/Blogs. So it sounded like exactly what We need right now to expedite Our Improving FYB.

THEY ARE NOT TECHNICAL SUPPORT & YOU WILL STILL HAVE TO CALL YOUR HOST PROVIDER FOR TECH RELATED PROBLEMS/ISSUES.

With that said Here’s What the fuck is going on Currently, and I will keep the boring Tech details to an absolute minimum since they’re as boring to write as They are to read trust Me and Here We Go.

As it always seems to this shitnado started when one of the New Security Alert programs brought an issue to Our attention. The message read basically To Whom It Concerns there’s a fucking issue. The issue is Your site is being blocked from being indexed on Search Engines. Yes Like Google and EVERYONE on Earth fucking lives on fucking Google.

Well as We all know having a Blog with NO PRESENCE ON GOOGLE is a serious fucking issue to have. Without Google (and Other Search Engines) it be like opening a Retail Store without advertising We’re talking there isn’t even a Sign on the Door. I mean what’s the fucking point if NO ONE KNOWS YOUR SHOP IS EXISTS?!

First Off I say We because it was a Multi Team Player Scenario. I was on the Phone as well as SpaceDog, and Nathan McCoy all at the same time in an Insane Round Robin Style Situation. At least one if not all 3 of Us were on the fucking Phone at any given time Working Non Stop to Resolve The Issue and Solve the fucking Problem.

        

We first called WordPress Live (WPL) who bent over fucking backwards doing EVERYTHING They possibly could to Help Us and then some. At the end of the Conversation it looked to be a Tech issue which means its Our Hosting Service Bluehost’s Jurisdiction as I mentioned before WPL are NOT TECH Support.

We called Bluehost (BH) who once again proved to be NOTHING BUT UTTERLY FUCKING USELESS. The Guy We talked to sounded like He was literally about to fucking commit Suicide, and didn’t seem to give a shit about doing His job that’s for shit sure.

The BH Guy would mumble some sort of computer terminology, ask Me to hold REPEATEDLY as He did whatever the fuck it was He kept doing. Now He didn’t put Me on the standard Hold with shitty Elevator Music He just stopped fucking talking. So I’d sit for 20-25 minutes listen to this asshole Type while Breathing in My Ear like a fucking obscene Phone Call.

      

The call concluded with the BH Guy was He could do a damn thing to help Me as apparently He said “Everything Looked Fine” and ‘Check Out Normal” leaving Me with just One Option. The Option was to send a Report via e-mail to BH Administrators and wait 24 TO 36 Hours (More like 48-72 hours in Reality) for a response still fucked with the Presenting Problem mind You.

I call WPL again where a Extremely Nice Woman went above and beyond the Call of fucking Duty to Try and Assist Us. Unfortunately She couldn’t locate the Problem, BUT She wasn’t leaving Us empty handed. She went on to tell Us VERY DETAILED and EXTREMELY SPECIFIC Directions for Us to relay to BH who had been having a Problem locating the Problem as Well. The Number One Offender if You will in Her experience would be a Robots.TxT File running Amok like an asshole.

        

We call BH back again, and again Some Sad Sack of Shit Woman drones on about How They can’t see any issue at all. This Time We give Her the Instructions that were  given to Us by WPL. The Woman says as far as the first order again She couldn’t find fuck all wrong, and then She tells Us There is No Robot.Txt File it simply doesn’t seem to exist as far as She was Concerned.

SO fucking off We go calling WPL back.  Tis time the Wonderfully Nice Lady assisting Us located the Problematic Robot.txt file, but NOT being a Technician She couldn’t actually fix it. We told Her Our ongoing issue with BH claiming They can’t see nor find an issue in the first fucking place.

She immediately e-mailed Us everything We needed to know pertaining to Our current situation. Armed with a Proper Diagnosis and a Set Plan for BH to follow so They could do Their fucking job and ACTUALLY FIX SOMETHING We felt the most positive had Had in the past 5 fucking Hours dealing with Our Issue.

      

Back at BH the Fuckwit We talked to couldn’t Help Us, in fact once again BH couldn’t GO A GODDAMN THING TO HELP. We lost Our fucking Minds as We REPEATEDLY told the BH Assfuck WHAT the Issue WAS and WHERE IT WAS LOCATED AT.

This worked to No Avail. Apparently even with WPL Diagnosing the Problem, and Locating the Offending Robots.Txt File BH claimed They were Absolutely Oblivious. We the informed the Prick that BH’s Service SUCKS SHIT, Their Customer Service is Complete Unadulterated CRAP, and We would be Sure to NOT Renew with Bh Next Year (Also We informed Them We would be screaming about BH’s Never Ending Bullshit to The Fucking World or Internet in this particular case.)

       

The Day Ended with a final call to WPL were We essentially just vented in exhausted frustration in the utter lack of competence over at BH, and Most Importantly the fucking Problem had NOT be Fixed. The WPL Guy was very cool and Let us Vent before doing everything He could think of to Help Us out, but it was basically a fucking Waiting Game.

The following Day (Friday) We attended to all of Life’s Demands We had not been able to attend to the previous Day due to the ongoing, and possibly still unresolved issue. I for one spent the Day checking My fucking E-mail like a Love Sick Tween for incoming E-mail from the BH Administrator which never came.

       

Saturday Morning I get an e-mail from a BH Administrator simply telling Me that They got My fucking report, but right now They are experiencing a High Volume of E-mails currently so IT WILL TAKE THEM EVEN LONGER to get around to doing dick.

I then out of curiosity called Our Security Company who said They were unaware of the Situation as They hadn’t identified and Blocked any sort of Bot issue stemming from a Robots.TxT File. The Security Guy after hearing the whole fucking story suggested We contact the Software Maker’s Themselves since BH and WPL were falling short in solving the Problem. My Wife then spent a while Online researching and Learning about the Plug In Piece of Shit that had Alerted Us to begin with.

My Wife after about 20 minutes online called BH and spoke with a Woman who was the 1 in 100 that knew what the fuck She was Doing. It always seems like calling Tech Support that Your playing Russian Roulette with The Customer Service Reps. It’s as if You have to see how many it will take BEFORE YOU FIND The One Helpful Bastard in the Buch. Anywho My Wife and the BH Woman found a Viable Solution and We Simply ended up Uninstalling/Deactivating the Problematic Plug In.

Several Hours Later I fucking around Online and still a bit bent about how such a simple solution has eluded so many PAID PROFESSIONAL COMPUTER TECH SUPPORT FUCKERS as well as THE OTHER COMPUTER PROFESSIONALS involved Who look far too long to deliver actual Resolution.

I found out the Plug In Program We had had issue with had an Override Option that needed to Be SPECIFICALLY Selected TO AVOID THE VERY PROBLEM WE WERE HAVING. My Point is why didn’t the PAID COMPUTER PRO who recommend the Plug In in the first fucking place DIDN’T MENTION THAT EXTREMELY FUCKING IMPORTANT FACT, The one that keeps Your Site from being Blocked from Google by the Very Plug In that’s supposed to improve shit.

        

What is The Moral to This Twisted Tale You ask?!

WordPress Live are Incredibly Helpful, Positive, Encouraging, and Knowledgable. They will willingly do EVERYTHING They can to Help You NO MATTER HOW fucked up the Problem. Dealing with WPL is comforting like Dealing with an Old Friend instead of some Pion Cog in a Massive Corporate Machine. WPL is The Best Computer Service We have EVER COME ACROSS AS WELL AS USE. We simply can’t say Enough Kind Words about WPL.

and as far as Bluehost is concerned………

Bluehost fucking sucks so fucking bad it’s like nothing We have ever encountered before. From the Lackluster Clinically Depressed sounding IT Reps to Their complete inability to preform even the simplest of Their Job Functions. The Administrators are no fucking better the lazy sacks a festering shit. All fucking Bluehost does is Apologize. It’s apparently ALL They can fucking do since They can’t fix a fucking thing.

We Have Included a Video Below  By One of FYB’s Favorite Musical Oddities, and would like to Dedicate it ToThe Sad Sack Sons of Bitches over at Bluehost.

Play it Safe and Save Your Sanity BOYCOTT BLUEHOST.

Long Live WordPress Live!

Thank for Reading,

  By Les Sober

Well We Could See This Coming From a Mile Away.

Yes I have once again managed to let Life sideswipe Me, and Now I’m playing catch up like a motherfucker. Easter was a bit shall We say Extreme. It started when Our Departure Time was delayed 3 hours by having to deal with some last minute Big Dog bullshit.

When We finally Hit the Road the Weather was Gloomy, Overcast, and bit Rainy like Seattle 99% of the time. Anyway We found out Via the Radio that there was a Massive Storm Front coming Our way that consisted of 5 different Sever Thunderstorms that was kicking the shit out of everything in its path. Now My Wife and I having spent far too long in The Great Southern Swamp just shrugged the Warnings Off because We’d been through Category 1 Hurricanes all the way to Category 4 (Hurricane Scale is 1-5 with 5 being the real motherfucker.

        

The next thing We know the Skies opened up in a Biblical Downpour and the Wind picked up so Furiously that it was a struggle keeping the Car in its Lane as it felt like the Car was being battered by an endless line go Wrecking Balls. Then the Radio started to blow up every 12-15 minutes with VERY DIRE Tornado Watches that were now plaguing the surrounding areas. The Tornado Warnings were so Death and Doom oriented I recored on one My Phone. Here is that Tornado Warning:

        

“Beep-Beep-Beep The National Weather Service has issued a tornado Warning  for Cumberland, Kilingsworth, and Duncan unit 2:15 pm eastern Daylight Time. At 1:37 pm Severe Thunderstorms capable of producing BOTH Tornados and  extensive HIGH WIND Damage Located near Mourville moving Northeast at 45 miles per hour. HAZARD TORNADO Source: Radar indicated Rotation. Impact: Flying Debris will be Dangerous those caught without Shelter, Mobile Homes WILL BE DAMAGED OR DESTROYED. Damage to Roofs, Windows, and Vehicles WILL OCCURE. Tree Damage IS LIKELY. This Waring Includes I-90 between Mile Markers 48 and 68. Precautionary/Preparedness Actions: TAKE COVER NOW. Move to an Interior Room located on the LOWEST FLOOR of a STABLE BUILDING. AVOID WINDOWS. If You are Outdoors, in a Mobile Home or in a Vehicle move to the CLOSEST SUBSTANTIAL SHELTER and PRTECT YOURSELF FROM FLYING DEBRIS. This cluster of Thunderstorms is capable of PRODUCING TORNADOS and WIDE SPRED WIND DAMAGE. DO NOT WAIT TO SEE OR HEAR THE TORNADO for Your PROTECTION Move to an INTERIOR ROOM on the LOWEST FLOOR of a Building. Beep-Beep-Beep”

        

The rain was coming down in Torrential Sheets being wildly whipped around by the increasingly strong Winds. You couldn’t see more than 5 feet in front of You at best. You had to strain the fuck out of Your eyes in an attempt to keep track of the Tail Lights of the Car in front of You to (keep from driving off the fucking road all together). There was a moment when My Hurricane Bravado wained and I thought to Myself that Holy Shit We might have to be ready to actually Bail off the Highway in search of Shelter of some sort. Luckily We made it through unscathed.

       

I got to My meeting at 9:45 pm and started Drinking at 9:47. I overdid it a bit and ended up doing Shots of Fireball while pounding Budweisers until I back to Our Base Camp at 4:30ish in the Morning. Needless to say I’m getting Older than I was Earlier in My Life and woke up the Next Day feeling like I had been run the fuck over by a Steamroller. I spent the Day nursing one hell of a Hangover. By 6:30 I was back on track. We had an early Easter Dinner and was back at the Bar at a little before 10pm, but this was a Personal trip for Fun (Not Business like the Night Before). I arrived back at Basecamp at quarter of 3 in the Morning.

       

On Easter We hit the Road for Home and this time the Trip was smooth as could be without a single delay or mishap. WITH THAT SAID I am Fully Aware I am behind in Posting the “Daily” installments of Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher as well all the other Planed Posts because of this Turbulent Trip. I Apologize in al Honesty and with the greatest Sincerity I will do My Best to get Caught Up Quick as I can. Thank You.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

1/365

All through out My Life I’ve heard various People parrot the cliche “A Writer Writes” which is a pompous way of saying Never Stop Writing. I mean it sounds like something that a pretentious asshole like James Lipton would fucking regurgitate in an attempt to look Intellectual.

Also I never fails to astonish Me that People can’t seem to wrap Their fucking heads around the Fact that it doesn’t matter how fucking creative someone is CREATIVITY CAN NOT BE TURNED ON AND OFF at will like a fucking Light Switch for fucks sake. No to mention the ominous and every present Writer’s Block lingering over every writers shoulder just waiting to strike.

I know it’s called Writer’s Block but thats kind of bullshit. Writer’s Block is like being asked a question You damn well know You know the answer too, BUT Your mind goes completely Blank. Writer’s Block only gets worse like fucking Quicksand. Once You fall in the Harder You try to think/create Your way out of a Battle with Writer’s Block the more amnesia like it leaves You feeling.

Thats wasn’t My point though. My point is that this temporary creative paralysis can happen to EVERY TYPE OF ARTIST in the World NOT just Writers, but Painters, Sculptors, Graphic Designers, etc. Unfortunately They don’t make a Medication for Creative Impotence.

Fast forward to a few Days ago. I was driving around completing a list of Lives more mundane tasks (such as buying fucking Dog Food) and found Myself pondering the Principle behind the saying “Writers Write”. I started playing with My perception of the subject at that current time to see if I could get a better understanding. Then it suddenly occurred to Me perhaps that it wasn’t an Egotistical Statement but rather a Piece of Advice.

What if I simply took the saying Writers Write at Face fucking Value, and didn’t try to read shit into it (something have NO GREATER MEANING They are what They are and thats all They are) to find a deeper meaning or intellectually analyze it to the umpteenth degree?!

    

I believe as of now that the Point of this particular saying is You don’t have to Write a fucking Novel, or fucking Shakespearian Sonnet or a Super BlockBuster Screen Play on a Daily basis just because You’re a Writer. Basically don’t Pressure Yourself as Pressure Crushes Creativity.

Thats why I could never write for a Magazine or Newspaper (online or otherwise) because the Dead Lines would inevitably destroy the quality of My work, and more than likely My Health and Remaining Sanity as well.

Getting back to the Point that You don’t have to be Shackled to Premeditated Creative Ideas/Concepts (Large or Longterm Writing Projects) A Writer can just Write for the shear sake of Writing and the Enjoyment of doing so.

   

It also helps fight Procrastination since the number one cause of Creative Procrastination is Not having a /any Creative Subject Matter to work with. If You don’t have proper tools it makes Building something  not Impossible Yet it DOES make it Insanely fucking Harder as well as MUCH MORE Time/Soul Crushing for the Artist/Writer (I thinks its fucking Stupid that People “And Or” Writers and Artists. Writers are Artists and Artists can Tell Stories Through The Visual Art Mediums. They’re the SAME.)

I found this New view of the cliche saying “A Writer Writs” to no longer being a constrictive load of crap, and now found it quite Freeing. The idea of Writing again without the bullshit Drama like Deadlines, Writers Block, Assorted Outside Pressures, Continuing Creative Concerns, and all the other annoying/troubling  Hullababullshit.

   

So here’s the Deal I will be writing a Complete Story 1 Page a Day for the following Year. I have NO IDEA what it will be about or how it may or may not Evolve over the Span of a Year BUT, that’s the fucking Point isn’t it.  I’m just going to sit down, and start writing with NO FORETHOUGHT WHATSOEVER . The Literary equivalent to Throwing Paint at a Blank Canvas with Your Eyes Shut.

I will Start this Little Acid Test Tomorrow Wednesday March 27th 2019 as it is 2:23am as I’m writing this.

Thanks for Reading,

  Les Sober

Facebook Follies

Hello Readers,

I would like to Apologize in ADVANCE for the Lack of New Content for the Next Day or Two. I know You all must be getting tired of these interim issues, and again I apologize.

This is a Small Independent Operation of a handful of Like Minded Writers and Artists as such WE ARE BROKE AS HELL. Thats why We have to work exponentially harder to promote Ourselves than some of these other Blog Bitch Asses that hire a Professional Public Relations Department for Hundreds of Dollars a Month. Then They sit back and act Arrogant like They had something to do with the Promotion of Their Product.

      

People have suggested going the GoFundMe route to raise funds, But I have a strong aversion to that idea (for now anyway). I’m Hard Headed as Hell and Stubborn as shit.

Its more than likely a fucking Pipe Dream, but I’d LOVE to keep FYB totally Independent because the more outside influences invade FYB the more the Product will/would suffer.

Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen and The Food Goes to Shit as “They” say. Only Time will Tell.

      

Anyway We are experiencing a All Hands On Deck to handle/combat the FACEBOOK PROMOTION PROBLEM. You see as Much as I despise FB its fucking FREE. And lets face even with The Cambridge Analytical (and other crooked as fuck shit orchestrated by MARK “Face Book” Zuckerberg) People are SO fucking ADDICTED They still use FB.

Even if They Object to all the Pimping of Personal Information to fuck knows Who, and for God knows for what fucking Purpose They can’t say NO MORE and QUIT FB. They’re strung out Social Media Junkies, FB is The Opium of the Masses circa 2019.

Well if You remember quite a few Moons ago I tried to Return to FB for the reason of FYB Promotion and 48 fucking hours later I was LOCKED OUT OF MY PERSONAL PAGE AND FYB’S PROMO PAGE.

  

Apparently FB tends to think I’m a Bot which is Mind Boggling. So I Said “Well I tried and FB still SUCKS DONKEY KONG DICK.” It has been suggested to Me that in My Manic Intensity jumping fully into the Project could lend someone to believe I must be a fucking Machine to work that Fast. And That Was That.

I realized recently I needed to get over Myself, Burry the Preverbal FB Hatchet, and Start Anew.

A Good Bud of Our’s by the Name of Norman McCoy volunteered to step in as Our Interim Social Media Supervisor, and We more than Happily took Him up on His offer.

     

On Tuesday Evening of this Evening McCoy has to a Free minute so He set up a Face Book Page to Chronicle the Goings On at FYB.

Wednesday McCoy logged into FB and spent an Hour and 17 minutes just putzing around more or less. That was until FB cut in and subjected McCoy to an impromptu Security Check. McCoy FULLY COMPLIED as best He could. I say that because some of the Questions didn’t have actual answers.

One of the Numerous Questions was the Bot Check You know the one where they show You a bunch of random Pictures and ask ‘Which are Pictures of Roads, Houses, Bridges etc. BUT FB’S READ ONLY: What am I Looking At?

It never specified WHAT You were supposed to be looking for to Answer the goddamn Question. So McCoy had to guess what the fuck FB wanted and replied “Random Street Scenes.”

   

After FB sudden and Schizophrenic Security Questions They demanded a Picture of McCoy sent to Them for “Review” WHICH HE DID SEVERAL TIMES. Yet FB has effectively locked Him out of the Account pending Their bullshit fake as fuck Security Picture Demand. I think its Safe to Say FB won’t be letting McCoy back in ANYTIME SOON or EVER for that Matter.

We took a internet stroll over to Good Old Reddit to see if anyone else knew what the fuck was going on as McCoy hadn’t violated FB’s Rules & Regulations as far as We and He were/are Aware.

We found more than a few People who were facing FB issues similar to McCoy. People were confounded as They too had been suddenly and unceremoniously by FB for Unknown reason(s) to Them. Some Poor Users managed to straiten the issue out ONLY TO HAVE IT HAPPEN AGAIN AND AGAIN every several Days to Weeks to Months.

 

SO as far as Any of Us can decipher is it looks like after YEARS of virtually \unrestricted Use FB finally caved into PUBLIC PRESSURE to seriously beef up Their so called Security.

Also getting caught red fucking handed LYING, DECEIVING, and EXPLOITING FB User’s and selling Their Personal Information played a HUMUNGOUS part in FB’s PHONY APOLOGIES & BULLSHIT PROMISES to do better (and NOT COMPLETELY FUCK OVER Their Users FOR PERSONAL GAIN OR PROFIT.)

Thus FB is Scrambling Frantically Back Peddling like the Scumfucks They are to “Fix” the problems mentioned above. And in doing so have built a chaotic BiPolar Frankenstein Security “System” of some sort. Point is due to time requirements FB is SO HALF ASSING IT.

Regardless of all the issues, problems, and bullshit We at FYB have experienced with The FB Fucks We have NOT GIVEN UP. NOT BY A LOOOOONG SHOT.

We have phoned in a Designated Hitter if You will in Our Dear Friend, and Long Time FYB Family member Mr. JJ Jackson.

We Will Be Back, Just Try and Stop Us Fuckerburg. All You can do is Delay the INEVITABLE:E VICTORY OF FYB ON/OVER FACE BOOK.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

 

Less Sober Begrudgingly On Less Sober

Ask and You shall receive they say well I hold more with the saying be careful for what you wish for because you might just get it. In this case in particular Your Gonna Get It Ladies and Gentlemen. I fully understand especially in the age of social media dominated by millennials that someone attracts the exact attention I don’t want. See the less you say about yourself now a days the more ravenous the curiosity of others grows and abounds. So for those who wanted to know so goddamn bad that they annoyed me to the edge of sanity this ones for you so with that said I don’t want to hear anymore personal questions about me from here out.

Here some facts in Bullet Note form:

Age: Old enough to be considered Ancient.

Looks: Like a Basic Human with 10 and 2 of everything required.

Right or Left Handed: Ambidextrous

Education: Street Smarts with a Collage Education.

Occupation/Vocation: Writer/Expert Cryptozoologist on Chupacabras.

Salary: I’m chronically broke, but I can pay my bills.

Social Status: Social Deviant

Marital Status: Married to my Wife

Ethnicity: Unknown due to the fact that if I were a dog breed I’d be a Ethnic Mutt.

Accent: Slight Southern Accent that slips in occasionally.

Tricks: Getting people to buy any absurdity based on Reasonable Doubt

Polotics: I agree with George Washington when he said “A Two Party System will DESTROY AMERICA.

Hobbies: Sharpening my knife collection or cleaning my guns while thinking about people I hate.

Addictions: Ex Junkie, Heavy Drinker, Fast Food, Death, Doom and Destruction, People Watching.

Pot Smoker: Yes daily

Social Media Used: Twitter and FaceBook only for Blog Promotion nothing else.

Obsessions: Sociology, Death Metal, Horror Movies, My Dogs & Snakes, Revenge, Under Dogs, Anything Anti Authority, The Occult, and more.

Beliefs: I do not believe in organized religion of any kind, I prefer Spirituality. I also fully endorse Karma.

Superstitions: Murphy’s Law, It’ll Get You Ever Time Without Fail.

Attitude (General): Stubborn, Aggressive, Impulsive, Opinionated, Demanding, High expectations of others and most of all self, Vengeful at times, Anger bordering Rage (Terrible Temper), Sceptic, Natural Born Pessimist, little to no Patience, open minded, Sarcastic, Trust Worthy, Loyal to a Fault, Witty, Entertaining, and Extreme Story Teller to name just a few.

Prejudices: I hate the Rich, The Police, The Government and any Institution of Authority such as the FCC. I hate millennials with a undying passion. I hate technology but use it as it becomes a necessity because the public integrates it into social life. I hate big pharmaceutical companies, Lobbyists, Politicians, The Legal System, Taxes, The Health Care System, Large Corporations, Bullies of any kind,  SUVs, Rules and most Laws. Think thats enough to list for now.

Ambitions: To make a comfortable living as a writer and to get this Weblog financially self sustaining. Becoming a Marijuana Millionaire in the Medical/Recreational Marijuana industry. (It be nice to get paid for what I know as opposed to be sent to prison for it.)

Medical History: I had Hep-C and was treated making a 100% recovery. I have never broken a bone, BUT I’ve had more stitches then I can count, and I had my Appendix removed TWICE (but thats another story all together)

Sex: I was born with a penis so obviously Male.

Fears: There will never be justice.

Pets: English Bulldog, French Bulldog, Miniature Dachshund (who is completely deaf and only has 1/2 her vision in her left eye) Ball Python, and a Colombian Rainbow Boa Constrictor. Also 3 evil ass cats.

Tattoos/Piercings: No Piercings, 6 Tattoos with plans for many more

Handwriting: Shitty, my handwriting makes Doctor’s handwriting look legible.

Friends: Small Handful of people I have met throughout my life. I generally dislike people and avoid them a great deal.

Personality Type: EXTREMELY Introverted

Favorite Movie: The Toxic Avenger

Favorite Singer: Chris Barns (formally of Cannibal Corpse now with 6 Feet Under)

Favorite Band: Currently for the last 3 years or so Ghost (also known as Ghost BC in America due to copyright laws)

Hometown: Cliche USA

Currently Living: In Parts Unknown to Man and Beast

Country of Origin: Antartica

Astrological Sign: Maximus

Personal Heros: Nicola Machiavelli, Nicola Tesla, Vlad the Impaler, Genghis Khan, Hunter S. Thompson, Lloyd Kaufman, George Remero, Les Claypool, Tobe Hooper, Eli Roth, Doug Benson, Sam Kinison, Samuel Jackson, G.G. Allin, Kevin Smith, Kevin Spacey, Ron Jeremy, Popcorn Sutton, Johny Cash, Tommy Chong, Scortese, Dr. Ray, Jerry Springer, Doyle, Merle Allin, Dave Brockie (aka Oderus Urungus), Mr. Lordi, Werner Herzog, Micheal Jordan, Cliff Burton, Clive Barker, Wes Craven, and thats plenty for this piece.

Favorite Color: Black (the absence of color)

Favorite Song: Bite It You Scum by G.G. Allin & The Murder Junkies

Siblings: Yes 1 younger brother Moore Sober

Instruments: Used to play Bass guitar, but gave it up along with my teenage dreams of being a rock star.

Height: The National Average for my demographic

Weight: Could stand to lose 3-5 pounds.

Sports: I do not play any sports and am anything but a sports fan.

High School: Ignorant High

Favorite book: Tie between “1984” and “Animal Farm”

Favorite Place: Inside my own head