halloween – f-your blog

What Is More Relaxing Then A Fucking Serial Killer?!

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring RELAX WITH MICHEAL MYERS by Content Creator Paul McNeils (Nicknames: ER, Uncle E, or BigE) Who’s Youtube Channel is known as Ephemeral Rift. McNeils started His Youtube Cannel in 2011, and the name is comprised of Two Random words without a Specific Meaning. In 2012 McNeils came across a ASMR Landscape Scene while poking around on Youtube. From that Point on McNeils began to Focus more on Character Driven ASMR Videos which was Opposed to the Traditional ASMR Content at the Time. We have to remember that back in 2012 ASMR was just a Niche Genre which Eventually took off like a Real Serious Motherfucker Gaining more and More Traction/Popularity.

For those Who may be Unaware Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR) is Defined as: ASMR is a Subjective Experience of “Low Grade Euphoria” characterized by a Combination of Positive feelings and a Distinct Static like Tingling Sensation on the Skin. It is Most Commonly Triggered by Specific Auditory or Visual Stimuli, and less Commonly by Intentional Attention Control.

This Video was brought to Us by a Friend and is the Best piece of Absurdist Comedy We’ve seen in a Long fucking Time. The Last thing We Actually Enjoyed in the Arena of Absurd Comedy was the Masterful Go the fuck to sleep (by Author Adam Mansbach which is described as a Satirical “Children’s Book for Adults.”) read by Samuel L. Jackson Video. The Simple but Entertaining and Effective Gimmick is a Contradiction of the Senses where Your Eyes and Ears are Conflicted. Your Ears hear all the Calming Audio that is Intended to Relax You, BUT at the same fucking time You’re Seeing the Infamous Horror/Slasher Movie Iconic Villain Micheal Myers (from the Halloween Movie Franchise) creating the Soothing Sounds. The Opposing Information confuses a Person’s Brain as it Relies on the 5 Senses for Any and All Information needed to Live and Survive. Again Your Ears are informing Your Brain that Everything is Chill while Your Eyes are Informing Your Brain that There is a Danger in Your Mist. Even though Micheal Myers is a Fictional Horror Movie Character Your Brain recognizes Him as a Possible and Deadly Danger. That Recognition Invokes a real Sudo Fight or Flight Reaction on a More or Less on a Subconscious Level.

Now Who could Explain Their Video better then the Content Creator Themselves so Here is Ephemeral Rift on Ephemeral Rift in Their Own Words:

“Good Now! And welcome to 12 years & counting of… well, I don’t know how to describe it: an original, authentic, fearless, and eclectic blend of art, comedy, horror, music, philosophy, fantasy, gaming, food, life experience, and whatever else my brain comes up with, using ASMR as the primary vehicle to deliver a thought-provoking, entertaining, tingle & sleep-inducing experience. I’m a mostly self-taught “jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none” father, husband, artist, internet dad/uncle/comedian/actor, musician, philosopher, universe builder, sound sculptor/audio engineer, photographer, prop/costume designer, foodie, etc. Seeds of inspiration are planted in my mind by the world around me, be it a pebble, a tree, a passing comment, a word spoken in a conversation, etc., etc. Other notable sources include H. P. Lovecraft, Monty Python, Douglas Adams, David Lynch, The SCP Foundation, King Diamond, and a myriad of other people, artists, films, philosophers, video games, etc., etc”

-Paul McNeils (AKA Ephemeral Rift)-

It Is What It Is,

Presented By Les Sober

Carmen’s Banana Cooking Episode #41

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring CARMEN’S BANANA COOKING EPISODE #41. Carmen’s Banana Cooking Show Aired on Austin Community Television (Public Access) on Channel 10 on Fridays at 10pm from 1984 until 1992. Carmen would Cook Up Banana Dishes, Showcase Local Talent, and Go on Countless 80’s Austin Adventures. The Show’s Viewing Audience was Comprised of Actual Real Fans as well as Those Who were Fans of the Surreal Absurd fucking Freak Show Factor. The Show was Recently Rescued and Restored Carmen’s Banana Cooking is Streaming for Free On Youtube, and it has an Official Website. Also an Interesting Fact is Every Single Episode of Carmen’s Banana Cooking Show was Produced by Steven David Video.

The Host is a Ugly motherfucker in Wannabe Chiquita Banana Drag with Prosthetics (But remember They weren’t like the Prosthetics used in TV and Film Today. Take for Example Carmen’s Massive Quadruple DD Tits that were made from fucking Paper Mache for fucks sake), and the Finest fucking Dollar Store Wig Available. Carmen is Also Adorned with some Seriously fucking Tacky Banana Gimmick that looks like Some shit You’d buy for a fucking Halloween Costume. As for Carmen’s Make Up it Looks like a Piece of fucking Trailer Park Dwelling Piece of White Trash hooked up with a fucking Las Vegas Meth Addicted $2 Hooker and had a fucking Kid. Also We must fucking Warn You that at the Beginning Carmen Sings some Old Ass Love Song and Sings it HORRIBLY that it makes American Idol Rejects look Talented.

Episode Synopsis: First and Foremost the Show has Insanely Shitty Production Value and is EXTREMELY fucking Low Quality as it fucking gets. As We just Mentioned Above the Show Starts with Carmen Murdering the fuck Out of some Back in the Day Love Song. Then Carmen’s Big Sister Karma Stops by for some Utterly Unknown Reason. Karma then Dumps a Basket of what fucking else Bananas and Proceeds to Read Them like Some Sort of Shaman Mystic Medicine Man. Now it’s Not exactly Clear but it Seems that the Banana Basket Bullshit was to Confirm the Winner of the 1988 Election or at Least that’s what the Two Started Babbling About Almost Incoherently.

Our Favorite Line is when Carmen tells Her Sister as Her Sister is Leaving “We’ll Twist Up a few Banana Peels” Not too fucking Subtle Smoke Weed Much? FYI We Smoke Weed so We’re Not talking some Straight Edge Happy Horseshit. The Episode Ends by Transitioning from the Show’s Set to Some Asshole in Bed with Leopard Themed Pillows, Sheets, and Shit Wearing a Cheap Latex Mask (The Kind Used in the Human Doll Fetish). Now whoever the fuck it is or Supposed to be Doesn’t say a single fucking Word and Body Language is as if the Camera Man just Walked into Their Bedroom and Surprised Them so Their Acting all Shyly Taken Aback.

It is What it Is,

Presented By Les Sober

Short Horror Film Friday: Songs My Mother Taught Me

Welcome to this Week’s Installment of Short Horror Film Friday featuring the Song My Mother Taught Me (2019) Directed By Doug Cook Written By Julian Robino. This is the First Time at FYB that We have had Two Consecutive Films by the Same Director in this case Doug Cook. For Last Week’s Installment of Short Horror Film Friday featured the Award Winning Short Horror Film Peephole, and After perusing some of Cook’s other Work found Songs My Mother Taught Me and Knew We would have to Use it so Why Not Now?!

Plot Summery:

After Bobby and Lydia lose Their Mother to Cancer, life becomes an Unbearable Grind, Especially for Bobby who won’t even Leave the House. In an Attempt to Cheer up Her Brother, Lydia throws a Halloween Party with a Close Group of Good Friends. Once the Group starts Using an Ouija Board They learn a Terrifying Lesson…..The Dead are Best left Undisturbed.

Enjoy.

Thanks For Watching,

Presented By Les Sober

Happy Holidays From MeatCanyon

Welcome and yes it isn’t even Close to the holiday’s, but when have we here at FYB ever played by the rules? We sure as shit aren’t going the cliche route and posting say a halloween video on halloween for example. So that said Today’s Post is HAPPY HOLIDAYS By (and Starring) MeatCanyon.

MeatCanyon’s real name is Hunter August Hancock better know by his online user name MeatCanyon. Hancock is an American Youtuber, animator, voice actor, comedian, writer, and director who makes parody animations of popular characters (say Sponge Bob for instance). Some viewers of MeatCanyon’s animations have been described them in just one single word “Horrifying”. A common on going gag in Hancock’s video’s is that something normal or mundane gets you killed or possible worse.

What I absolutely fucking love about this video is it makes me nostalgic as fuck let me tell you. Long before Youtube, Facebook Live, Tis Tok, Smartphones, Instagram Etc. all there was were video cameras. Growing up in a shit little town with nothing to do Les, Otto, and I we used to make absurdly stupid and nonsensical videos for our personal amusement (and to kill as much time and boredom) as we could. Thinking about it now I sincerely wish we had held on to some of those videos especially from our high school years for prosperity if nothing else.

Let the show begin!

So I’ll see you when I see you,

Justin Sane

Short Horror Film Friday Saturday Edition: MONOCHROME (PART 1)

Welcome to this Weeks Installment of Short Horror Films featuring the Short Horror Film MOMOCHROME (PART 1) Directed, Produced, Shot, Written, and Edited by Malachi Alexis. MONOCHROME (PART 1) Premiered on October 29, 2020 Just in Time for Halloween.

Synopsis: A Man is Alone at Home working in the Dark on His Computer at Home One Evening. Suddenly He receives a Bizarre and Ominous Text Message informing His that He has been “Marked For Judgement.” A Second Subsequent Text Follows (that is Equally Sinister) Explains that if He wish’s to Avoid being Judged by a Mysterious Unknown Monsieur Chipli then He must send a Specific Reply. After the Man Texts His response claiming Whoever it is has the Wrong Person it Proves to be a FATAL MISTAKE! A Mistake so Grave that it bring Him FACE TO FACE with The Maliciously Malevolent Monsieur Chiplin!!!

Notable Observations:

Monsieur Chiplin looks Extremely Reminiscent of Art The Clown from the Movies “Terrifier” and “All Hallow’s Eve (Both Movies are Posted Here).
One of the Clips that Plays on the Television during the Unsettling Strange Imagery is of the Goddess Bunny. We have a FYB’S SALUTE TO ECCENTRICS Installment Featuring The Goddess Bunny. We Also have the CULT OF THE WALRUS Posted in Strange and Disturbing Videos that Stars The Goddess Bunny.
The Scenes with Monsieur Chiplin are so Surreal and Perturbing that They would make David Lynch Proud.
The Lighting in this Film is Oddly Unique in the Light used in the Film is provided by Computer/Phone Screens, Flash Lights, TV Screen, and Flashing Police Lights. This Adds to the Uneasy Feel of the Film since to practically demands that the Viewer watch it in the Dark for Visibility, and that brings the “I feel like I’m in the Movie” Vibe to the Cinematic Mix.

Enjoy.

Well While The Short Film Format is Freeing for the Creator’s since They don’t have to Deal with Backstory, Character Development, Plot Lines Etc. The Only issue is Sometimes it can be Rather Confusing to the Viewers since there is Far Less Context. MONOCHROM (PART 1) is Definitely one of these Films, but Luckily Not is all Lost. Since there Evidently will be a MONOCHROM (PART 2) this would mean that Part 1 sets up the Questions, and the Sequel/Part 2 Hopefully will Deliver the Answers.

THE QUESTIONS AT HAND:

Are We to Assume the Police Officer was Killed by Monsieur Chiplin?
Who or What is Monsieur Chiplin? Is He a Damned Soul, Demon, Devil, Evil Spirit, or Perhaps a Pissed Off Alien?
Where is Monsieur Chiplin From? Could He Be From Hell, Another Dimension, Some Super Natural Place/ Origin, or Parallel Universe?
What is Monsieur Chiplin’s Motive(s) Why is He Judging People and On What Basis?
Who or What the hell is Dambulla?
Where Does Dambulla Factor into all This?
Why is it that if You repent by Giving Yourself to Dambulla Saves You from being Judged by Monsieur Chiplin?

So We will just Have to Wait and See for MONOCHOME (PART 2) to Hopefully find Out About these Missing Pieces in MONOCHROME (PART 2). Now it so Happens to be that the Film was Released (just Prior to Halloween 2020) We may be waiting for a While. I’m quite sure it will Be Worth it in The End.

Thanks For Watching,

Les Sober

Saturday Slasher Cinema: TERRIFIER

Welcome to this Week’s Installment of Saturday Slasher Cinema Featuring the 2016 American Slasher Film TERRIFIFER Written, Directed and Co-Produced by Damien Leone. The Film features a New Face in the World of Horror in Art The Clown, Played by David Howard Thornton, Who Dresses in an Early 20th Century Clown Costume complete with an Insanely Small Top Hat. Also Art’s Clown Make Up is Void of the Usual Bright Traditional Clown Colors, and instead is Simply Black on White reminiscent of Black Metal Musician’s Corpse Paint. To His Credit Art The Clown was Named “One of the Scariest Clowns on Screen” by Bloody-Disgusting.com,

Terrifier marks the Second Feature Film Appearance of Art The Clown Character, After Leone’s 2013 Anthology Film All Hallow’s Eve, which Incorporates Footage from Previous Short Films that were also Directed by Leone that Also Originally featured Art The Clown. If Your interested for whatever Reason in watching All Hallow’s Eve We have it Posted in Our Movie Category, and was actually used in a Prior Saturday Slasher Cinema.

Synopsis:

On Halloween Night The Sadistic Serial Killer known as Art The Clown Returns focusing His Sick Psychotic Obsession on Three Innocent Young Women, Along with Anyone Else that gets in His Way!!!

When We Saw this I KNEW We had to Include it: The Following is Posted on commonsense media.org

WHAT PARENTS NEED TO KNOW

Parents need to know that Terrifier is a slasher movie about an evil killer clown. Blood and gore are extremely strong, and the violence against women is disturbing. One woman is hung naked upside down (her breasts are visible) and sawed in half from her crotch to her head. Another woman’s skin is sliced off of her chest, and the killer wears it on his own chest so that he can have breasts. There are many deaths, and tons of blood sprays/spurts, plus beating with blunt objects, guns and shooting, stabbing, slicing, severed heads, eye gouging, and much more. Language is also very strong, with multiple uses of “f–k”, “s–t”, “bitch, and more. There’s some sexual innuendo, and a couple falls into bed, kissing. Characters are drunk after a night of partying, cigarette smoking is shown, and a woman is injected with a knockout drug.

Not To Viewer: While the MOVIE IS IN ENGLISH there are French Subtitles. Unfortunately this was the Only Accessible Copy We could Find, and Since Terrifier is Such a Bad Ass Slasher Movie, and We would Feel like Real Assholes if We didn’t Post it (It’s Honestly One of Our Favorites here at FYB). Plus Subtitles are Easy to Ignore if You Don’t have to Read Them.

Enjoy.

We Hope You Enjoyed this Tale of a Killer Clown Carnage as Much as We Did.

Thanks For Watching,

Presented By Les Sober

Saturday Slasher Cinema: All Hallow’s Eve

Since Today just Happens to be the Greatest Holiday of Them All We Selected a Halloween Specific Movie.

All Hallow’s Eve is the 2013 Horror Anthology Film Written, Directed, and Edited by Damien Leone, in His First Full Length Feature Film Directorial Debut. The Film Incorperates Footage from the 2008 Short Film The 9th Circle, as well as the 2011 Short Film Terrifier, both of Which were also Directed by Leone and Stared Art The Clown. The Character of Art The Clown would later be featured in the 2016 Full Length Horror Film Terrifer, Also Written and Directed by Leone.

Premis:

After a Night of Trick-Or-Tricking on Halloween, Babysitter Sarah is Surprised to see that Children Tia and Timmy have Received an Unmarked VHS Tape in one of Their Bags. The Children convince Sarah to allow Them to watch the Tape, which contains Three Stories, each of which features a HOMICIDAL CLOWN simply named Art The Clown.

Enjoy.

We Hope You Enjoyed These Three Tales of Terror, and Have a Happy Halloween.

Thanks For Watching and Happy Halloween,

Presented By Les Sober

Michael Myers: Absolute Evil (An Original Fan Film)

FYB is Thrilled to Present MICHAEL MYERS: ABSOLUTE EVIL a Faux-Documentary Fan Film Written and Directed By Rick Gawel. A Fan Film is a Film or Video Inspired by a Movie, TV Program/Show, Graphic Novel, Book, Video Game, or Comic Book Created by Fans rather than the Source’s Copyright Holders or Creators. Fan Films Vary tremendously in Quality, as well as Length, from SHort Faux-Teaser Trailers for Non-Existent Motion Pictures to Full-Length Motion Movies.

Plot Summary:

Michael Myers: Absolute Evil follows a Documentary Team as They Capture the True Story of Michael Myers by Interviewing Survivors, Victim’s Relatives, Haddonfield Residents, Police, Psychologists, and Anyone who can Paint a Clear Picture of One of the Biggest Mass Murders of All Time. Treating the Events of the Original Halloween through Halloween: H20 (Excluding Halloween 3: Season of the Witch) as Real Events, and Even Slightly Includes Rob Zombie’s Remakes as Films Based on Actual Events. Unfortunately for Them the Documentary Team quickly learns that Michael Myers enjoys being a Shadow, a Lurking Evil, A Predator…..and Sometimes it’s Better to Leave Him Undisturbed!!!

We Hope You Enjoyed this Tale of Slaughter and Survival as much as We Did.

Thanks For Watching,

Presented By Les Sober & FYB

FYB’s Anti-Monday Movie: GRAVY

Even though it Another Mundane Monday Let Us Assure You EVERYTHING is Just Gravy!

Tonight FYB is Proud to Present a Healthy Helping of Salsa and SLAUGHTER with The CANNIBALISTIC INDIE HORROR COMEDY: Gravy

What Else could Cure the Mind Numbing Effects of Mondays more than an Appetizer of Guacamole and GORE followed by a Main Course in CANNIBALISM with HUMAN FLESH FIFITA’S, a Serving of BLOODY BURRITOS, and a Side of HOMICIDE?!!

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING FILM CONTAINS SCENES OF GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, GORE, AND CANNIBALISM THAT SOME VIEWERS MAY FIND OFFENSIVE, OBJECTIONABLE, NAUSEATING , OR DISTURBING. VIEWER DISCRETION AS ALWAYS IS ADVISED.

Well We Hope You liked Tonights Tale of Terror and Tacos. Goodnight and Sleep Tight.

Thanks for Viewing,

Brought to You By Les Sober

FYB’s Anti-Monday Movie Double Feature

Let’s Face It Monday’s are a Known Motherfucker SO in spite of Our Predilection for the Darker Side of Things know Everyone Needs a Laugh. Now with that said We still have to Keep to Our Principles in some Fashion, and to do so We have carefully Selected Tonight’s Double Comedy Feature.

Tonight We have Selected:

MULVA: ZOMBIE ASS KICKER

And

BANANA MOTHERFUCKER!!!

In MULVA: ZOMBIE ASS KICKER Stars a Buffoonish Chocolate Loving Candy Addict, by the Named Mulva, and Her Misfit Friends are FORCED to FIGHT for Her Halloween Candy against A ZOMBIE HORDE Who Rise From The DEAD on HALLOWEEN NIGHT!!!

In Banana Motherfucker 6 Adventurers Goon a Quest for a MYSTICAL CEMETERY. After Disturbing a GRAVE causing The DEAD to RISE as They Triggered an ANCIENT CURSE that will DESTROY the ENTIRE WORLD!!!

And as Always: WARNING THE FOLLOWING FILMS CONTAIN CONTENT THAT SOME VIEWERS MAY FIND DISTURBING. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. Enjoy.

And Now for Our Second Feature: BANANA Motherfucker!!!

(Note: You Most Likely Will Have To Turn On The Closed Caption, and Select English in Setting or Whichever Language You Prefer.)

For Those Who have an Eversion to Subtitles RELAX the Film is 16 minutes and Change. ALSO The Dialogue is MINIMAL being NONEXISTENT After the First Few Minutes in Fact.

Hope You Enjoyed Tonights Double Dose of Movie Insanity. Goodnight and Sleep Tight.

Thanks for Viewing,

Presented By Les Sober