hardcore punk – f-your blog

To whom it may concern: status update for FYB 2021

Hello Everyone and Everybody,

My name is Justin Sane and I am excited to finally address everyone out there in FYB land, and i’m not sure where to start. This is one of those things you plan out in your head, and when the moment comes at last your brain goes blank so your left just standing there with your genitals in your hand. To get started here’s a basic run down of FYB for you.

The creative team: the who’s who of FYB

Les Sober Founder FYB Inc. and Creative Director
Justin Sane Les’s righthand, long time friend, and Director of Content
Otto Rageous Les’ lefthand man, long time and Project Director
Lady Les’ wife, better half, handler, guardian angel, confidant, best friend soulmate, consultant, advisor, and unofficial 4th member of the FYB Team.
SpaceDog Les’s partner in crime, long time friend, and Content Contributor.
N@P Les’s close friend, content contributor, and Creative consult.
Coming soon!!! C-Nobody Les’s good friend, musician, creative consultant, and future content contributor.

What’s in a name?

The name thing actually started. Les, Otto,and I had a hardcore punk band called Stank breath. I can’t remember why exactly the reason we chose the name Stank Breath, but that’s high school freshmen boys for you. Since we were a punk band we all assumed stage names, and we have keep them for every artistic project since. The point is we want people to know our work not who we are. The point is Les isn’t the only paranoid introvert around these parts though he currently the local heavy weight champion, and will be defending the quad county championship belt next month in Muncie Indiana. Tickets on sale now $15 in advance $20 at the door. Doors open at 7 pm and the show starts at 8 pm Must be 21+ with valid proof of age for admittance is strictly enforced. Event is being held at the town’s local senior center use google maps for directions.

My 2 cents worth

The question of why I’m writing this now or why the hell am I here all of a sudden which is fare enough. FYB has been on an unplanned break due to circumstances mainly beyond our control. Some might say we are in some sort of “control”of situations when it comes to Les. Thats why I specifically stated for the record “mainly beyond our control” because have you ever tried to wrangle a fucking category 5 shitnado before?! It ain’t easy and damned near impossible.

To briefly recap Les is an extremely intense and some what emotionally unstable which makes him both a creative force to be reckoned with and an out of control asshole. Les has spent most of his life looking to master moderation so he could achieve some sort of balance in his chaotic existence. Les is a lot like moonshine in that as it ages Moonshine mellows as it becomes less abrasive and stronger with the passing of time. So if you meet Les and think he’s a motherfucking madman you can only imagine what dealing with him was like in the early days.

We collectively and in total agreement decided Les needed to try and take a break from everything in an attempt to keep him on the safer side of insanity. First off there was the hellishly busy and corrosively commercial holidays. What people including Les learned in 2020 is that getting a family together for a Zoom call in reality is actually harder to pull off than just gathering everyone in a group someplace. When you enter the Zoom universe you enter a suspended space and time continuum that is far more abstract is structure than that of the Physical realm or reality.

Unfortunately aside from the hell of the holidays a perfect fucking shitstorm has been brewing for several weeks in the land of Les recently. So it stay focused and on topic I’m going to paraphrase and use plenty of actual quotes from Les to give you a closer first hand view. The thing that you most likely notice is these are all things that SERIOUSLY Piss Les Off hence the perfect shitstorm scenario.

The Security Situation

Les has such high standards that the Lunatic can’t even live up to them. Thats right Les’s standards for People himself included are so High they are virtually unreachable. Its like dangling a carrot infant of a stubborn donkey to get it to walk. The donkey will never get the carrot but as long as it sees it hanging in mid air right in front of its face it remains obtainable as far as the donkey is concerned anyway. Customer service is a huge issue with Les who has gone on record making statements like :

“Is it too goddamn much to ask some fucking idiot to do their fucking job?!”
“They act like I’m bothering them, oh so fucking sorry for making you do the job you’re getting pain to fucking do in the first fucking place.”
“Incompetent or Uncaring either fucking way they’re all a bunch of motherfucking fuckers.”
“Apparently customer service is a dead industry and now asshole rule the fucking world.”

There was an issue with the FYB security system which I will not get into here as Les is already working feverishly on a Post about it with all the gritty details. Anyway the System was fucking up, Les spent 5 plus hours on the phone trying to remedy the problem with the alarm company, got so pissed that he switched alarm companies, and got a better deal. Even though Les is fond of saying “Alls well that ends well” he forgets to mention that in spite of the newer and far superior alarm system he will hold a grudge concerning how shitty the customer service of the original alarm company was. Les may not be able to carry a tune but he can carry a grudge for fucking YEARS.

Dealing with Les I am constantly reminded of my favorite scene from the movie From Dusk To Dawn. It’s the scene where the main characters have gained access to the Biker Bar and Harvey Keitel asks George Clooney’s character. Keitel’s character asks Clooney’s character if he is so stupid that he doesn’t know when he won. This is alluding to the fact while Clooney’s character’s plan is working and he’s hours away from being rich having escaped the authorities, but he’s willing to blow it all because he’s pissed at a Bar Patron for getting in his face. Thats Les in a nutshell. Sure the ordeal sucked like a $2 crack whore on a week long bender, yet as Les pointed out in the end he actually came out on top, but he rather focus on still being pissed about how it all went down even now that its over. Les I love you buddy but for Christ’s Sake LET IT GO LES JUST LET IT FUCKING GO BROTHER!!!

An apple a day keeps the doctors away….

Les is also been increasingly shitty due to his annual yearly doctor’s visit, and Les has let his contempt, disgust, and flat out hatred for all doctors (dentists included the sadistic fuckers) so no surprise he’s not a happy camper about having to see the doctor even if it is his. As Les has summed it up “Fuck doctors every fucking medical procedure is Painful or Uncomfortable, Costly, and usually rather embarrassing bordering on humiliating. Then all the greedy cocksuckers have to tell you is bad news followed by worse fucking news.”

See we all know doctors and all that shit sucks and the system sucks even worse, but we deal with it the best we can and life goes on. Not Les though he runs into a bump in the road and wants to fucking declare full blown fucking war on it. He becomes hyper focused to the point of obsession with destroying whatever is in his way or upset him. Les’s unofficial motto is “You fuck with me and I’ll fucking fuck you back 10 times over.” Les can be a truly vengeful son of a bitch. Its not good for his fucking health it fucking can’t be. I mean getting so stressed out or frustrated that you turn such a deep shade of red you look like the top of your fucking head is going to explode like a volcano. So at that point I mean your blood pressure has to be totally fucked up.

YouTube lands on Les’s shit list

As You are more than likely aware Les has been fucking Livid because Youtube recently changed their policies concerning age restricted content playing on 3rd party sites. Ever since it first took effect (Les was caught off guard because he doesn’t keep up on current tech shit or what big tech is up to) Les went APE SHIT. Once he “Calmed down” he was spitting venom like crazy about how big tech are greedy capitalism driven corporate whores who look at people as walking talking ATM machines. Les SHIT HAPPENS BROTHER. All Les wanted to do was find away to thwart YouTubes Policies, but Youtube just implemented these policies so if there is a way around them no one has figured it out yet. In the mean time all that we need to do is research other similar platforms until we find one that we can use or use to replace Youtube all together.

I mean I don’t get how the hell Les didn’t see this coming, and I’m sure he did he just wasn’t giving the situation his full undivided attention. Les knew things were changing because things always change, and it was when he was doing our most in-depth piece on GG Allin that Les discovered YouTube was pushing for more of their content to be on a buy or rent basis instead of free. Then Les was aware of YouTube going ballistic with the whole fucking monetization thing from increased advertising to YouTube taking a hefty cut of YouTuber’s profits. Then came the age restricted content deal which simply funnels more traffic to their site to the detriment of smaller 3rd party sites. It’s the usual case of the big dogs throwing their weight around to subjugate the little guy.

I mean this age restricted bullshit happened at the same time YouTube made its first major move into the streaming market with the ironically named YouTube TV. I get everyone wants a piece of the streaming pie, but YouTube streaming tv shows and shit just seems like a conflict of interest to me anyway. AGAIN LES IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD FUCK YOUTUBE AND LETS BE PROACTIVE INSTEAD OF REACTIVE!!!

Health insurance is hell

Lastly Les has been dealing with several different health insurance companies pertaining to prescription drug programs (we have no idea why though as of yet) and its not goin well. “Its going from the frying pan into the fire back into the frying pan and then back into the fire once again” as Les has put it. Apparently things with his health insurance weren’t to his liking so he’s been shopping around. To make things worse Les’s wife got shitty information and subpar assistance from a healthcare professional who helped her select her and Les’s new plan.

Due to the poor advice she signed up to a plan that turns out she wasn’t even happy with. There was all this fine print bullshit and they failed to send Les’s wife the proper paperwork in time for them to review it and use the opt out clause. Les is fucking furious and had repeatedly yelled “This is by far the shittiest fucking bullshit plan I have ever heard of it’s fucking pointless. You pay out your ass and get nothing in return its a fucking racket, a goddamn fucking scam.”

Les does have a point though in that the health insurance company your paying to protect you incase of illness or injury EMPLOY AN ENTIRE DEPARTMENT who’s job it is to thoroughly direct each and every customer claim ti find a way NOT TO PAY THE CLAIM. So when you see those fucking bullshit health insurance ads on tv remember they’ll gladly take your money while simultaneously trying to fuck you over.

So all in all Les will be returning shortly and has agreed to accept the help he know he could use, but refuses to ask for. As far as the future is concerned you’ll be hearing more from me along with Otto and some new Content Providers such as C-Nobody in 2021.

Sincerely,

Justin Sane

Tidbits For Shits & Giggles: Shit The Bed’s Camel Bite EP

We Noticed in the Claymation Classic HAMSTER HELL Created by One of Our Favorite Claymation Animators Lee Hardcastle the Music was by a Band called Shit The Bed. So having a Penchant for Unusual Music and Love of Hardcastle’s Claymations We had to look into the Band a Bit Further. While Looking into the Shit The Bed We discovered that Lee Hardcastle was in fact the Band’s Drummer, and from there the Hunt was On. Below You will find a Brief Band Bio Followed By Shit The Bed’s EP Camel Bite!, and then the Bonus Track Krakatoa.

Shit The Bed Brief Band Bio:

Shit The Bed was a Hardcore Punk Band with Grindcore Tendencies from Leeds, UK Formed in 2000 by Jordan Ramoth, Richard Kenyon, Dom Smith, and Lee Hardcastle when They were in High School. The then 14 Year Old Band Members used to get Together to Share Their Mutual Love of SST Records as well as Other Shitty Bands that 14 Year Olds are Into. In 2006 Shit The Bed put Out Their first and Only EP Titled Camel Bite! that has amassed a Niche Cult Following over the Years since its Release. The Main Lyrical Themes are Gary Coleman, Computer Games, and Massive Natural Disasters. In Addition to Playing Drums in Shit The Bed Hardcastle also made Music Videos for the Band. The Only Other Recording by the Band Other Than Camel Bite is a Four Song Compilation of Theirs with the Song’s: 1. Fuck Off Government 2. Fuck Off Long Intros 3. Fucked Up Punks 4. Burn Your Fucking Television.

“Music was something I never took seriously but I had incredible fun with it.” Lee Hardcastle

Song List:

Wake Up Fred (1:03)
April O Neil (1:30)
Amnios (3:01)
Shit The Bed (0:54)
Bring Me The Head Of The Navigator (0:11)
Gooch (0:12)
Monolith (1:23)
Venger (3:01)
Krakatoa (Bonus Track 2:22)

Enjoy.

Thanks For Listening,

Presented By Les Sober & FYB

Malice The Band That Almost Killed Us All

This is the 2nd story I wrote working at DFF Magazine in 1991 for their August issue.

Malice isn’t one of those bands that was poised on the threshold of Fame, but never made it to the Big Time. Malice is a band that most people don’t remember and theres a reason for that. You see Malice’s rise to International Fame was extremely rapid. In fact it was so rapid its considered a once in a lifetime phenomenon in the Music Industry. That combined with their Hardcore intensity on and off the stage Malice crammed a full 20 year career of Sex, Drugs and Rock’n Roll into just 2. Malice was the epitome of “Live Fast, Die Young, and Leave a Good Looking Corpse.”

The Story of Malice started in Slaughters Kentucky when Drummer Robbie Rage met Bassist Vic Vile while they both were attending The Gus Hubbard School of the Vocational Arts. Rage was there learning the in and outs of welding while Vile was there learning the fine art of Landscape Maintenance. The two quickly became inseparable friends and decided to start a band together a Black Metal duo called Aborted Faith.

Vile managed to get Aborted Faith a weekly gig on Friday Night’s at Lane’s Lanes a near by neighboring Bowling Ally. The Aborted Faith was going no where fast as playing in a cramped corner of the Bowling Ally Bar hidden behind a heavy cloud of cigarette smoke. Further more the open concept meant the band was constantly drowned out by the continuing Bowlers.

It was at one of these shitty shows when future guitarist Gar Fisch got stupid drunk and wondered over to where the band was playing and started playing along with them on air guitar. After the show Rage and Vile had a brief meeting and then promptly asked Fisch to join the band. Fisch took the guys up on their offer with one exception that they ditch the Black Metal schtick in favor of becoming a Hardcore Punk Band. Rage and Vile agreed to Fisch’s condition and their new band Stank Breath was Born.

Stank Breath went on to build up a local fan base by playing house party’s and by winning every “Battle of the Bands” that they entered. Stank Breath Shows were known be raucously violent fueled by Fisch’s outrageous stage antics (such as shoving high powered fireworks in his ass Actual M-80’s for example and lighting them) catapulted the Band even farther words fame. The only issue the band had was that they all seriously sucked at singing. After a late night of drinking Rage introduced the idea of hiring a singer to which both Gar and Vile agreed. So they put an Ad in a small music magazine, sat back, cracked a beer, lit a joint, and waited. Instead of getting plenty of replies by people who were no better vocalists than the rest of the band, They got no replies at all.

Pissed off and confused Rage and Fisch went on a beer run and outside of the liquor store pan handling was a rather tall and slim man with long greasy hair wearing a leather biker’s jacket. The man asked for spare change as the two exited the store Fisch asked what the man needed money for to which the Man told Fisch he needed the money for Beer and Smokes. On a whim Rage asked the Man if by any chance he could sing worth a damn. As it turned out He could so Rage asked the Man his name and if he would be interested in joining the band. The Man said his name was Von Dire and since he had nothing better to do than beg for beer money he’d be glad to join the band.

It was after Dire’s joining the band in January 1988 that it once again changed their musical style to Heavy Metal and name to Malice. Not long after the switch Malice was killing it at the Minnesota “Battle of the Bad Ass Bands” in when Dire literally bumped into Clive Mangina who was the front man for competing Hair Metal Band known as Rectal Invasion at one of the plentiful Beer and Booze stations. This lead to one of the most heated and out of control Rock’n Roll Rivalries of all time. You see Clive was a snark and bitter little man with a raging Napoleon Complex who took great exception to Dire accidentally staggering drunkly into him in line.

Clive called Fisch a “Drunk Dickhead” and Fisch hauled off and head butted Clive. Clive went down like a ton of bricks with blood pouring out of his now broken nose. At this point the other members of Rectal Invasion saw what was going on and jumped in. Fish undeterred by being out numbered (5 on 1 as Rectal Invasion in addition to 2 guitarists, singer,drummer and bassist had a keyboardist (I told you they were Hair Metal so what did you expect?!) Fisch put up a good fight but ultimately he was overpowered by his 5 advisories. Rage and Vile who were vomiting exited the bathroom and immediately came to their fellow band mates aid. Rage ran around kneeing every member of Rectal Invasion repeatedly n the balls until they vomited. Vile proceeded too break $182.99 of the Bar’s glassware over the various heads of the members of Rectal Invasion.Von Dire broke several chairs across the backs and over the heads of Rectal Invasions members. When inevitably the Police showed up with Billy Clubs a blazing everyone scattered like roaches when the light is turned on.

In spite of the brawl Malice went on to win the Minnesota’s “Battle of the Bad Ass Bands” and just their luck Jerry Jerkin the owner of a local Record label was in the audience. Jerkin fell head over heels for the Band and enthusiastically signed them to a 3 record deal on his label RatFuck Records. Now RatFuck Records was home of other small time bands such as The Young Cocksmen, Guttural, and Spit Shine. Right away Jerkin booked them on a 10 show tour opening for fellow label members The Salty Yogurt Slingers. The “Mad As Hell” tour was set to hit the road just 2 days after Malice signed their contracts, but that was no problem for Malice. The entire band had been couch surfing at friends places and owned next to nothing.

The “Mad as Hell” tour went so well that Jerkins called up The Salty Yogurt Slingers and told them that they would now be opening for Malice since Malice was a bigger draw at this point. The Salty Yogurt Slingers responded by quoting the tour on the spot under great protest. Malice went on to finish the second half of the tour on with another RatFuck Records band Grind Spine. Malice built a huge following and was expanding their fan base faster than a Crackhead at an all you can smoke Crack Buffet. By the time Malice ended the tour (in the first week of February) they had racked up a slew of business cards from much larger record label reps.

Stay Tuned For Malice Part 2 Posting Next…..

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober

Prologue To A New Project Piece

Lets get to the point I’m a huge GG Allin fan though even I can’t agree with all of his Rock’n Roll Rhetoric and a few of his Batshit Beliefs. Plenty of people over the decades have attempted to chronicle the life and music of GG Allin.

There are 2 documentaries (Live Fast Die and the more known Hated In The Nation) that are extremely different in how they cover the subject/subject matter. The first follows a Punk Music Fan as he learns about GG Allin after reading a short 75 word article in a Hardcore Music Mag. The second was directed by none other than Mr. Todd Phillips while attending NYU in his junior year, and actually followed GG Allin on Tour/On The Road. Both are exceptionally well done and deserve proper recognition in their own right.

GG Also appeared quite promptly in the early 1990’s (1990 after his release from prison to his death due to a drug overdose on Heroin combined with Alcohol in the summer of 1993) He is most notoriously known for his appearance(s) on the Geraldo Riviera Show where he was known for his furious ranting and raving (much of which was incoherent) and combative attitude especially towards the disapproving audience members.

GG was also covered predominately in print through countless Magazine articles on his life/music, and News Papers articles on his arrests/trials/outlandish antics or behavior (GG was arrested over 51 times during his life mainly for his extremely aggressive and raunchy stage antics.)

GG even wrote his own book (his prison-era memoirs) titled “My Prison Walls” containing letters, illustrations, prose, and GG’s personal account of his time spent in prison.

So I’ve decided if a picture is truly worth a thousand words, and that GG has already been immortalized in Film, the Media, and Television alike I will be posting a solely pictorial piece on GG Allin. It has take an extraordinarily long time to hunt down a sufficient number of pictures, but its not been an impossible.

Now with that said I feel it is important and pertinent to list the most prominent facts pertaining to GG Allin and because of that I am writing this Prologue Post.

GG’s Father was an religious fanatic who was vehemently anti Social and more than likely suffered from Schizophrenia though that has remained unfounded. GG’s father didn’t have friends and hated most everybody and detested society. He was also know for flying into rages where he would go into the backyard and dig 3 graves (one for his wife, one for GG and one for his older brother Merle), and told them he’d kill them and bury them in the backyard if they didn’t obey him.
The GG moniker came from the simple fact that his older brother Merle couldn’t pronounce Jesus so he would call his little brother GG.

3. When GG was born his father named him Jesus Christ Allin after having a conversation with God in which God told him his son would be coming of Christ.

4. GG grew up in a small cabin in the woods with no running water or electricity.

5.GG’s father demanded absolute silence after 9pm so after 9 no one was allowed to talk.

6. GG’s Mom finally ditched her abusive husband and renamed GG Kevin Micheal Allin.

6.GG Allin started his music career as a drummer and transitioned into singer when he formed the band The Jabbers.

7.GG Allin promoted excessive amounts of Alcohol, Drugs, Sex, and Violence against Authority, Society and Haters/critics/wannabes mainly.

8.Again GG was arrested over 51 times during his musical career and in 1990 was sentenced to 3 years in Prison after alleged allegations of abuse by a fan. GG served 18 months of his sentence before being paroled. GG broke parole almost immediately to go on Tour.

9.GG never completed a full Tour due to personal injury or being arrested/jailed.

10.GG believed Rock’n Roll had been watered down into a bullshit form of music and he wanted to return the “Edge” to Rock’n Roll returning it to its former deviant form.

11.GG worked with numerous bands such as The Aids Brigade, The Jabbers, The Texas Nazis (who kicked him out), The Murder Junkies, AntiSeen, The Toilet Rockers, and The Scumfucs just to name a few.

12.GG used to attend High School in Drag and attended his brother’s wedding as both The Maid of Honor and Best Man.

13.GG Allin stage acts consisted of: Nudity (stripping buck naked during his performance was a GG staple) or GG appearing in just combat boots and a jockstrap with the words “EAT ME” written on it. GG was also known for Pissing on his fellow band members, Self Mutilation (GG would cut and carve himself up with broken beer bottles or crushed beer cans), Fights with the audience, Smashing the microphone into his clenched teeth (he once knocked out 6 of his own teeth during a single show, Live sex acts (fans would preform dude sex acts on or with GG during the show), Drinking Excessively/Drugs, Vandalizing Clubs/Venues, and GG’s most famous act of shitting on stage. GG didn’t just shit on stage he rolled in it, smeared it on himself and audience members, threw it at the audience, and even eating it.

14.GG’s shows usually lasted only 10-15 minutes before the promoter, club owner or Police shut it down due to violence, obscenity, assault or destruction of personal property (The Venue/Club)

So with that I end this pre emptive prologue piece and hope you check out the forth coming GG ALLIN: The Man, The Myth, The Monster Pictorial.

Thanks For The Read as Always,

Les Sober