Tag: hippy

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (48/365)

Lee a bit startled by Dizzy’s sudden outburst looked up from the ground where He had been Looking to avoid stepping on shards of Broken Glass or a Used Syringe. Parked directly in front of Dizzy’s Apartment Building was a Vehicle that was so Small it was a wonder anyone referred to it as a Car in the First fucking Place. Standing next to the Smart Car was a Young man who looked to be in his Early to Mid Twenties wearing a Big Bang T-Shirt featuring the Character Sheldon on it, a Pair of Kaki Cargo Shorts, and a Pair of Pristine White Converse All Star Sneakers. Lee imagined The Driver resembled one of the Many Action Figures languishing in Perfect Condition Imprisoned in Their Original Packing/Box back at His Studio Apartment.

“A fucking Smart Car, Why even fucking bother to Show the fuck Up? Smart Cars aren’t a Car, nor a legitimate Vehicle as THEY ARE A GODDAMN JOKE. There Tiny Hippy Mobiles going all Green with No Carbon Footprint or what the fuck ever.” yelled Dizzy Aggressively as He waved His Arms in the Air like a Chicken trying to Fly, and continuously pointing at the Smart Car during His Tirade.

          

“Smart Cars are Safe as long as You don’t drive like a total dick, and it gets 60 Miles per Charge, and No fluctuating Gas Prices to deal with.” replied the Driver holding His Ground.

“60 Miles? 60 Motherfucking Miles? I PISS 60 MILES for fucks sake, and was it fully fucking charged before You drove the fuck over here in Your glorified Roller Skate?!” Dizzy demanded to know Seething with Equal Parts Contempt and Disgust.

“Well No Infant I charged it overnight, and I’ve had 2 calls before You today not thats its any of Your Business. I’m just telling You because Your being a Temperamentally Judgmental Tool if You must Know.” The Driver said Unwaveringly Without Batting an Eyelash.

          

“JESUS so its Not even fully charged, seriously WTF is wrong with You are You just hear to fuck with Me until I have a goddamn Stroke or some shit. How are We going to get anywhere without a Full fucking charge You Negligent asshole?!” growled Dizzy at the Driver giving Him the Classic 1,000 Yard Stare.

“The 2 previous calls like Yours were Rides around the City so it’s Not like I just drove cross country or finish a Nascar Race. We’ll be perfectly Fine I assure You.” said The Driver in Honesty.

“You assure Me, You fucking Assure Me?! FUCK YOU! You have No fucking idea if We will make it to Our Destination before We get stranded when Your Hot Wheels here Runs Out of Battery Charge?! You never asked Us where We were going so How the hell do You claim to know We’re going to be OK? Are You a Part Time Psychic, is that it You’re a Ride Driver by Day, and a Psychic by Night You ignorant Jackass.” asked Dizzy in the Low, Calm, and Steady tone of a Sociopath.

          

“Where is Your Destination Sir?” replied The Driver in a Sarcasticly Mocking Tone of Voice.

“To The Crystal Dinner over on 76th and 9764th which has to be at least 20 plus miles away You Geek Squad Wannabe.” snarled Dizzy who’s Body Language suggested He was struggling to keep from punching the Driver right in the Face.

“How far can We go then on the Current Charge?” interjected Lee who found the scene Delightfully Entertaining, BUT He didn’t want shit to get Violent. Violence Spoils a Good Time Every time that was Lee’s experience.

“Let Me Check for You Sir.” quipped The Driver Snidely giving Dizzy the Eat Shit and Die look plastered across His Face.

Stay Tuned For The Next Absurdist Installment of………

LEE JONITIS:PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (49/365)

Thanks for Reading,

 By Les Sober

SpaceDog & Dullard’s Inter Dimensional Demise

Well hell I just don’t know wtf to begin with this little ditty but we must start somewhere. The Kiddies (Staff) mentioned in their post that as far as they knew SpaceDog was MIA, but they also stated I claimed to know the current whereabouts of SpaceDog and at that time I did. SpaceDog had taken sometime off during our move to live out his dream of true inner vision out in some god forsaken desert, and brought our Chief Editor Dullard Dillard along for the ride. As luck would have it while transversing the barren beauty of the vast desert plains SpaceDog and Dullard came across a small commune. The commune was a Hippy dinosaur disillusionment hangover from “The Love Generation” founded by Dr. Nirvana Namaste (who founded to commune in 1961 after fleeing from Berkley University where he was a professor of Geology.)

SpaceDog and Dullard were invited by the current Commune leader and son of Dr. Nirvana Namaste High Hippy Freedom Haberdasher or Clive for short. SpaceDog held lengthy conversations over the next 4-5 days talking about transcendentalism with the members of the Commune (dubbed The THC Ministry Farms by its 78 full time inhabitants) well into the wee hours of the morning.

SpaceDog had always dreamed of actually whipping up a big old punch bowl with what he called “Electric Kool Aid”, and figured he had an apt audience. So SpaceDog asked Clive if he could repay his and Dullard’s stay at the commune by making a metaphysical meditation medication. Clive not being to concerned of the risk because well they were 117 miles from anything remotely resembling civilization. SpaceDog went to work (as Dullard watched wide eyed in shock and Awe) without pause concocting his Enlightenment Elixir. First Spacedog filled a massive punch bowl (25 gallon to be exact) with cheap fruit punch that consisted mainly of water, sugar and red dye. The SpaceDog added the list of secret ingredients (which is a bit foolish to say as SpaceDog had told quite a few people over the years about his Holy Psychedelic Venture)

This is now time for our Disclaimer & WARNING:

  1. The views, opinions and actions portrayed in posts ARE NOT THAT OF f-yourblog.com.
  2. We DO NOT Advocate, Encourage or Endorse ANY AND ALL  extremely dangerous acts that our subject (or subject manner) may pertain to in a post, we are just mere reporters, Documentarians, and Story Tellers.

WARNING TO ALL READERS!

We at f-yourblog do not condone drug use and believe Addiction to be a serious and dire subject.

DO NOT ATTEMPT ANYTHING REMOTELY LIKE what SpaceDog did EVER. If you do the list of severely sick shit that can happen to you include but are not limited to:

HOSPITALIZATION, SEVER NEUROLOGICAL DAMAGE, SEVERE BRAIN DAMAGE, DEATH, EXTREME MOOD SWINGS, LACK OF REASON/COMMON SENSE, DIZZINESS, DELUSION, HALLUCINATION, HEART ATTACK/ STROKE, SELF DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR (IE. SELF HARM), INSANITY, PSYCHOSIS, PARANOIA ,AND DEMENTIA and thats just for starters.

NOW back to our story…

Spacedog proceeded to add MDMA, LSD, Ecstasy, Magic Mushrooms (Psilocybin), Peyote, Mescolilne, PCP, Micro Dots, DMT, Ayahuasca, Salvia Divinorum, DXM, Areca catechu, Kava (Piper methysticum), Ipomoea tricolor, Khat,Fly Agaric Mushrooms, Datura Stramonium (Hell’s Bell’s or Jimson weed), Wormwood, Heavenly Blue Morning Glory Seeds, Areca Catechu (Betel Nut), Plants containing Atropine/Scopolmine,Lysergic Acid Amide,Eboga,Mexican Calea,San Pedro Torch Cactus,Blue Egyptian Water Lily,Colorado River Toad Poison, and Cannabis Sativa. There were also likely a few more ingredients that were added in an impromptu manner in the making.

SpaceDog’s psychotic psychedelic punch made its debut at that nights Feast of the Full Moon Festival. Now this is were shit gets really fucking weird, and the details are sketchy as sketchy can get. According to the surviving Commune Members some of the things that occurred that evening are as follows:

  1. 9 Members Brains liquefied and drained out of their Nasal Cavities
  2. 2 Members Spontaneously Combusted
  3. 17 Ran off into the desert night claiming that they were going in search of The Gumdrop Gods to request that they be allowed to live in Candy Land Board Game, and have yet to be found.
  4. Several members climbed large cactuses nude.
  5. 3 Members became convinced they were ancient desert Tortoises and still believe that to this day.
  6. 4 Members were transported back in time, but their destinations in the historical timeline are uncertain.
  7. 11 Members blasted off into outer space to have a foot race using the Rings of Saturn as their race track.
  8. 1 member reverted from a full grown adult into a barely viable fetus.
  9. A Couple of Members listened to Chumbawamba and Tub Thumped one another to death.
  10. 6 Members actually jumped out of their own skin.

But what happened to SpaceDog and Dullard Dillard you ask? Well I can tell you what I’ve been told so here goes:

  1. Dullard Dillard allegedly came face to face with his Doppelgänger. A Doppelgänger is a German word that means “A Ghostly/Paranormal identical double or counterpart of a Living Person”. The Myth is if you encounter an apparition of yourself is/was an Omen of imminent death. The best way I can explain this subject further is “The Omen of Death” refers to a similar belief in Doppelgängers that if you encounter your Doppelgänger you will cease to exist. Think of it this way its the same as adding a positive number 1 and a negative number 1 together (-1+1=0). It was reported that when Dullard came face to face with his own Doppelgänger (No one else there saw Dullard’s Doppelgänger based on what happened though its considered the cause of Dullard’s disappearance) he exclaimed “I’m You, Your Me, together its We”, and then proceeded to turn inside out, outside in, inside out, outside in again then he simply imploded.

  1. SpaceDog Fared a much less detrimental outcome though it is equally bizarre. SpaceDog is alive but is still tripping his celestial balls off thus details as to his exact whereabouts are unknown. SpaceDog keeps referencing a “Emerald Triangle” (a infamous area of Marijuana Smuggling Routes) so we assume at this point he’s headed North West possible to Canada.

Thus we find ourselves at the end of this tale of Oddities, and I leave you to make up your own minds as far as wtf went down that night in the vast Desert.

Thanks for the Read,

Les Sober

The Hippy and The Hillbillies

My father was born,grew up in, lived and worked in two major Northern cities before he met my mother at his job. My mother was working in the second city ,BUT she was from a very small southern town where she was born and raised before seeking employment in the Northern city.

As you may imagine though they lived in the Northern city they made frequent yearly trips to visit my mothers side of the family down south. Now my father noticed in the first few years of their marriage that when he wanted to go into town my grandfather automatically would send one of my mom’s relatives to accompany him. In all due favor it was the mid seventies the deep south. At this time my father had a full on beard, prominent jew fro, wore aviator sun classes and sported a military type  jacket . Well finally my father got rather fed up with the whole baby sitter situation and asked my Grandfather strait out why he couldn’t go into town alone.

My Grandfather in brutal honesty told him the reason he wouldn’t allow my father to go by himself into town. My Grandfather said it was because until the towns people knew who he was, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY that he was married to my mom and my Grandfather’s son-in-law it simply wasn’t safe.