Tag: hotels

A Road Trip Tip So You Don’t Get Screwed Over

A While Back My Wife and I had to go on a Road Trip to of all fucking Places fucking Florida. My Wife’s Family Predominately Live in Florida so We head Down there about 4 times a Year to Visit Them. Now to be fucking Clear I actually do Like My In-Laws, BUT for the Record FUCK FLORIDA. I fucking Can’t Stand Florida which was a Glorified Swamp filled with Moronic and Insane Assholes running around like the fucking Wild West. Over the Last 5-6 Years Florida went From a Shitty Swamp to an ABSOLUTE AND UNADULTERATED FUCKING SHITHOLE Populated by Scum of the Lowest fucking Order. And No I don’t give a Flying Fuck about Disney or fucking Universal or The Kennedy Space Museum since I’m Not a fucking Little Kid so Don’t Bother Mentioning Any of Them.

We always Leave on a Friday so My Wife Doesn’t get fucked out of P.T.O Hours (Paid Time Off) and We Usually We Drop Our Dog’s off at A Friend’s House in the Late Morning, Drive Home, Pack the Truck, and Hit the Road. This Particular Trip though all fucking Hell was Breaking Loose at My Wife’s Job so We had to Switch Up Our regular Routine. We Dropped the Dogs Off first fucking thing in the Morning and Them We headed Home so My Wife could get to Work. She didn’t get back Home Until 6:30pm and then We packed the Car and Hit the Road by 7:15pm. We finally reached Our Destination in Fucked Up Florida at about 3 am to find a Cold Front had rolled in and it was Non Stop Raining.

My Wife went in to the Hotel where We had made a Reservation fucking WEEKS BEFORE We were coming to Check In and all that bullshit. I waited for Her to Return to the Truck accept it was taking an Unprecedented Amount of Time and was getting Quite Pissed Off. I continued to Wait without doing dick because When I get Pissed Off I turn into a Raging Asshole which tends to make shit worse. After what seemed like for-fucking-ever My Wife came Walking back it to the Truck with a Extremely Displeased Look plastered across Her Normally Calm Face. I instantly knew by Her look Something Seriously fucked up had Happened and Now We were going to be Scrambling at 3 am in the fucking Rain to find a Solution to this Surprise Problem. And I was Right on Point with My Assumption.

When She hopped Back into the Truck She informed Me that the fucking Hotel decided to SELL OUR ROOM in spite of the Fact We had Paid for it in fucking Full when We made the motherfucking Reservation. The Issue was since They Sold Our Room to Some Asshole the Hotel affectively had ended up Double Booking the goddamn room. The Result of this was We were fucked out of Our Reservation, its was Cold and Rainy, and at 3 am We had No Where to Stay. We pulled into a Parking Spot at the Hotel since We didn’t have a Clue what the fuck to do about the Bullshit Situation and Sat in Our Truck Brainstorming. As I mentioned I was already Pissed because I was Worn Out from the Road so I was on the Verge of Totally Losing My Shit at this Point.

I asked My Wife what the fuck the Person Working had to Say about all this fucking Bullshit that had Ended Up fucking Us Over. She replied that there was Only One Employee who looked like She graduated from fucking High School Yesterday and that this was Her first Day on the Job. The Bottomline was the Employee was Inexperienced and Utterly Incapable of Dealing with the Problem and in all Due Favor had Called the On Call Manager for Help. Between it being 3:30am and the Manager being a Total Prick Didn’t’t answer Their fucking Phone leaving the Employee ass out to Defend for Herself. Since I knew if I walked into the Hotel Pissed as a motherfucker I most likely would End Up Walking Out in fucking Handcuffs (because Someone would inevitably call the Cops) decided to Conduct all Conversations with said Employee via the Phone.

First thing First I called and Demanded the Employee call Her Manager and Blow Their Phone Up until They fucking Answered. Well That Didn’t Accomplish a damn thing. Next I asked Her what the fuck about the Fact We had Pre Paid for the fucking Room and since We got screwed over We wanted Our fucking Money back incase We Located another Hotel with a Vacancy. The Employee then tells Me that the Hotel will definitely Refund Our Money BUT it Couldn’t be Done Until Tomorrow because She didn’t have the Authority to do Refunds. For the Record I knew that this Employee was the Lowest Person on the Totem Pole and as such had No Real Power or Authority to do much of Anything other than Apologize.

Keeping this in Mind when I have to Deal with Customer Service I try Not to Abuse the Customer Service Rep. I know They can’t really do Much if fucking Anything to Help Me so I make Sure to Say shit like “Your Employer”, “Your Boss”, and Call the Company Out by Name. I fully fucking Understand Why People get Angry in these types of Situations and Tend to Vent Their Displaced Anger on/at the Customer Service Rep. That is Why I make sure to Call the Company Out by Name or Say Shit like “I know its not you…” or “Your Employer…” or  “The People Running the Company…” because again Yelling and Cursing at Someone with No Actual Authority is Futile because They lack Any and All Power to Do Jack Diddly Shit. The Best Part is Customer Service Reps get Screamed at and Insulted Daily by Pissed Off Jackasses so When They Encounter a Customer Who Doesn’t Automatically Unleash Their Fury Upon Them are Very Appreciative. Their Appreciation translates into Them going above and Beyond, doing shit They Normally wouldn’t, to Try and Really Help You Out (Mind You Though even with the Best Intentions They have Little to No Authority) as Best They can instead of Sticking to the Script so to speak.

The Next Half Hour the Employee desperately called Other Hotels in the Area trying to Find One We could go to with just One Problem. As I mentioned We drop Our Big Dogs off at a Friends, Yet Our the Little Dog Travels with Us. I told the Employee that the ONLY fucking Condition We had was whatever the fucking Place was it had to be fucking Pet Friendly which seems simple enough. While the Employee did Find Several Places every time She called Me Back it turned Out She had fucking Forgot that the Place had to be Pet Friendly. Since this was Her fuck up and Her’s alone I began to get Far More Aggressive and asked Her why it was so fucking hard to remember one fucking thing because Now She was wasting My fucking Time as We sat in Our fucking Truck in the fucking Parking Lot in the Rain like Assholes.

Luckily While I was attempting to Deal with the Situation with the Employee My Wife was Calling Hotels as Well looking for an Alternative for Us. And Low and fucking Behold My Wife found a Place Near By, Pet Friendly, and had a Vacancy. At that Point I told the Employee that My Wife had figured something out since the Employee was fucking up time and time again. I then suggested the Employee find another fucking Job and One hopefully She’d be better at. I also took a moment to Shit Talk the Useless Manager and while doing so Asked if Said Manager would be working Tomorrow which They were. I did in fact call the Manger Jerk Off the Next Day and Ripped Him a New Asshole, and meanwhile all this pathetic fuck could say was that He didn’t appreciate My use of Foul Language. I reminded Him I’m legitimately Pissed the hell off at getting fucked Over and Offered to come Down to the Hotel so We could Discuss the Matter of the Room and My Language in Person which He Declined.

The Moral to this Story is a Simple One: ALWAYS Cover Your Ass. I had experienced My Parents and Others Over the Years calling Hotels to Verify that They are Coming which I always thought was well Retarded. I thought so because if You make a fucking Reservation then that takes care of it because that’s what the fucking purpose a Reservation serves. Needless to Say I fully understand that Calling to Confirm Your Reservation is Retarded BUT unfortunately fucking Necessary Bullshit. Thus I will be calling to verify My Hotel Reservations from Now until the End of My fucking Life because I swear to fucking God I’m NOT going through that Shit EVER Again.

It is What it Is,

 By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (40/365)

All Apologies for the 2 Day Delay. I have No Excuse I simply Forgot Sunday, and Yesterday I got Side Tracked by a Side Project. Again All Apologies.

As Lee’s Mind started to meld with the Madness Plastered Across the Walls. He was becoming Cerebrally Submerged within the Staggering Amount of Emotion it was Overwhelming to think about. And all the Stories, Declarations, Statements, Proclamations, Jokes, and Jest that were being Played Out in this Grotesque Public Forum.

Lee began to try and Imagine Each and Every Mind Set behind Each and Every Artist and Vandal alike. Of all the things that People could have written on the Lobby Walls Why did These People feel compelled to Write what They Did. Was it a Fare Representation of Who They really are, or were these just Temporary Outbursts to Vent the Frustration of Toiling Day after Day as these People Trudged through Their Lives?! Did They ever wonder if Anyone Read it? Did They Ever Stop to think if the Intended Party/Person it was Directed at even Actually Saw it?

Again was this just all simply Lashing Out to Somehow feel Vindicated to feel as if Someone would have to Listen to Them for Once? Did Any of these People ever find Themselves eating Lunch one Day and contemplating if the The Wall had been Repainted thus whipping Their Words from Public Record. Was that the Secret was it knowing that what They wrote wouldn’t stand the test of Time that They felt free to express Themselves as They did?!

Then Dizzy grabbed Lee’s Arm snapping Him back into the Grim Reality that was the Lobby. The pair started Their Ascent up the insanely Narrow Stair Case that reminded Lee of a fucking Submarine or Battleship scenario. It was so Narrow that if Someone was coming in the Opposite directing You’d have to turn sideways, and hug up against the No doubt Filthy wall to let Them squeeze past.

The virtual lack of any sort of real lighting gave the impression You might have inadvertently Stumbled into a Haunted House Attraction at The County Fair. Lee found it all to be Disorienting, and a bit Claustrophobic so After walking up the First couple of Flights He was Praying the Next Apartment They came to would be Dizzy’s.

       

“One More Flight and We’ll be there,” said Dizzy a bit Winded and Wanting a Cigarette, “Oh fucking really?! REALLY? What The HELL! After all the indiscretions I have had to Suffer Today I come Home to This?! Who wants to deal with fucking Junkies and Their Junkie Bullshit No One thats Who!’

Lee had to Strain to see around Dizzy for a view of what it Exactly it was that was causing Dizzy this Sudden Distress. There Precariously Peached at the Top of the last Flight of Stairs Lee would have to Endure was what Lee assumed was the Junkie Dizzy was set off by.

The Junkie was Slumped so Far Forward it looked like He was trying to suck His own dick right there on the Stirs. His Long Dark Brown Hair was so Matted that it has Started to Naturally form Dreadlocks which smelled like the Dumpster Water (the collection of Various Fluids leaking from Trash Bags that sink to the Bottom of a Dumpster and Stagnate Purifying until its Emptied). He was wearing a Winter Jacket that Lee thought looked like a Trench Coat for a Cold Weather Climate as He assumed it was made out of Wool or perhaps Tweed. Surprisingly enough the Junkie was Barefoot and His feet were Black from the Dirt and Grime of the World Outside. That combined with the Fact the Junkies Toe Nails were Thick, Yellowed, and Over grown made His feet look like those of a Werewolf.

       

Tune In Next Week For The Next Idiosyncratic Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (41/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober