Tag: Humanity

Kick Ass Animation: THESE THINGS THAT WE DO

FYB is Proud to Present Another Kick Ass Animation by Duo Known as Cool 3D World Titled These Things That We Do. This Particular Animated Video and Music were Solely Done By Brian.

Cool 3D World Backstory:

When Brian and popcorn10 (as Their Youtube Handles Title them) were Introduced via Mutual Friends, They realized They shared an Interest in Exploring “Visual Art Inspired by Electronic Music” and so Cool 3D World was Born- as a Place where the Duo can Create “Art, Music, and More! All in 3D.”

Video Synopsis: This Video seems to Pertain to Human Nature be it Good, Bad, or Absolutely Indifferent. The Characters within the Video Embody the Full Array of Human Emotions from Blissful Joy (For Example: Dancing Like No Ones Watching) all the Way to Anger at the Opposite Side of the Spectrum (For Example: Anger with a Significant Other). This is Humanity and We are All Too Human.

Enjoy.

Thanks For Watching,

Presented By    Les Sober & FYB   

Where Ever You Go There You Are

It’s No Secret that I have a Extremely Low Opinion of the Human Race and People in General. I avoid People as much as fucking possible unless I absolutely have to Interact with Them. Recently a Friend of Mine had a Falling Out with one of Their Long Time Friends, and when I heard the Story I gave My Honest, Straight to the Point, No Holds Barred Opinion since I Don’t Pull My Punches. After We talked My Friend suggested I write a Post about it, and so here I am Doing just That.

The Backstory: My Buddy Who I will call “Bob” got a Text from His Long Time Friend I will call “Phil” who unbeknownst to Bob had totally fucked up His Life in Texas. So being one of those People that Blames Everything and Everybody for Their shitty Life, BUT THEMSELVES. That being so Phil decided to up and move to Florida. Phil believes that His moving  would Magically Fix everything Wrong in His Life just by Relocating. The Problem is Phil hasn’t figured out the fact that Wherever You Go You There You Are. Point being You can’t out run Your Problems because You are the One creating the Perceived Problems, and until You work out Your issues They will stick with You no matter where the fuck You may Go.

              

The problem arose when after Impulsively agreeing to let Phil and His Girlfriend crash at His House Bob resized He had made a Mistake. In all due Favor Phil contacted Bob and informed Him of His Situation a mere 3 Hours before planning to arrive at Bob’s House. Phil also just fucking Assumed that Bob would Automatically let Him, His Girlfriend, and all Their Stay at His House. With COVID running amok across America, and a Wife with Pre Existing Medical Conditions Bob realized it be Far too Dangerous (not to mention Idiotic as all Hell) for Phil to Stay with Him. Bob felt bad and Offered to Pay for Phil’s Hotel Room, and Apologized Profusely for His Mistake/Lapse in Judgment, and here is the Final Text Phil sent Bob before Cutting Off all Further Communication.

“Never blamed the virus on you, but still can’t believe that we were turned away after 2 days of hell on the road. I’ve known you for almost 20 years and  “Roberta”(Bob’s Wife) for almost 10 years, it’s not like I’m a total stranger. I know she (Roberta) has never met Amanda (Phil’s Girlfriend), but she is super cheerful and careful because I also have a weakened immune system. We don’t take this Virus Lightly. Can’t believe you couldn’t vouch for us after all we’ve been through and hate that you’re controlled all the time. I know the virus is scary but we were trusting you enough to stay over at your house. Evidently there was no trust in return.”

Well Holy Motherfucking Shit this Text is so Twisted and Ass Backwards I barely Know where the fuck to begin, so I’ll just Start at the Beginning.

              

Phil starts with the Statement that He doesn’t Blame the Virus on Bob well isn’t that fucking Nice of Him. Phil then bitches/Complains about He’s “Hellish” road trip from Texas to Florida. That has absolutely NOTHING to do with Bob at all as Bob didn’t tell You to move or to relocate to Florida that was all Phil’s doing. Phil just comes off like a whiny little Brat who gets angry if He can’t do whatever it is He wants to do which for a grown man is Utterly Pathetic to say the least.

The Next point of Phil’s about being friends with Bob for 20 years and shit is Ridiculous. If Phil was actually as Good a Friend as He apparently claims to be (not to mention for 20 fucking years) He’d understand why Bob had to change His Plan. I mean it’s just A GLOBAL PANDEMIC where America has become the Epicenter , and the Fact Phil was coming from one of the Worst COVID States in the Nation doesn’t Help His argument. That and He stopped over in Mississippi where a shit ton of People like Phil use as the Half Way Point it too is a Highly Infectious Area. The lastly Phil is traveling through Florida yet another Entire fucking State that’s a fucking Hotspot. SO to recap Phil went from Texas to a Well Used Half way stopping point for other COVIDIOTS, and then Travels through Half of Florida just to get to Bob’s House.

Talk about High fucking Risk, and as far as I know Phil nor His Girlfriend where following Coronavirus Protocol like Social Distancing or Wear a goddamn Mask. For All Anyone Knows Phil didn’t practice the recommended Safety Protocols at all, and could have encountered/Interacted/Hung Out with Who fucking knows how many People during his 48 hours on the Road. Not like Any of US was There.

              

Phil then makes the utterly Asinine comment that He “Isn’t a Stranger” as if that means that some how by Knowing Bob thats means Phil and His Girlfriend aren’t an High Risk Factor for Infection. The Fact Their Friends doesn’t even Factor into it, it was just a way of Phil trying to make Bob feel Guilty. Guilty for what exactly for Protecting His Wife and Himself from again A MOTHERFUCKING GLOBAL PANDEMIC that has KILLED over 138,ooo fucking Americans Alone?! Trying to manipulate Your Friend with Guilt to Me means They were Never a Real Friend to fucking begin with, I mean who the fuck does that Immature Childish Shit?!!

Then Phil talks about His Girlfriend who first and foremost is allegedly a Very Cheerful Person. Oh I’m fucking Sorry is being fucking Cheerful a Coronavirus Deterrent, NO IT FUCKING ISN’T. Phil’s Girlfriend’s cheerfulness is a COMPLETELY MOOT POINT as it means fuck all in this Situation. Then Phil say His Girlfriend is Careful, and I’m calling BULLSHIT BIGT IME on that Stupid Statement. If She was in Fact Careful then She would have stayed Self Quarantined in Texas, and Not Travel 2 Days across some of the Most Infected fucking Areas there are Currently. She would have realized the UNNECESSARY and Dangerous Risk a Trip like that would Pose. Traveling was the RISKIEST thing to do during a fucking Global Pandemic, and the Safest would to be to Stay Put and Self Quarantine. Careful My Ass.

                

Phil then adds to the Idiocy buy saying that He has a Weakened Immune System or Pre Exisiting Condition which make Him at the Highest Rick of Coronavirus Infection. Again with a weakened Immune system WHY THE FUCK would You take a 2 Day Road Trip? That makes ZERO SENSE and was an Incredible Stupid thing to do. Also if His Girlfriend was careful She would have NEVER allowed Him to Leave, BUT She didn’t She went with Him. Phil then has the balls to claim that He and His Girlfriend don’t take the Virus Lightly well Again We see Phil’s Actions are the EXACT OPPOSITE of what He’s Claiming. Not to Beat a Dead Horse, BUT taking a fucking Road Trip currently IS THE GODDAMN EPITOME  of taking it Lightly.

The Phil mentions Bob not Vouching for Him, but Vouching for what Exactly?! Vouching that Phil is Trustworthy, a Good Employee, or that He’s COVID Free in spite of the Extenuating Circumstances?! There’s No fucking Context so the whole Vouching For deal is Nonsensical Horseshit. Then Phil claims that Bob is “Controlled all the Time” whatever the fuck that means. What Bob is being controlled by Aliens, Evil Spirits, The New World Order, The Military, The Government, CIA, or Some Evil Entity?! Serious what the fuck is Phil babbling about here I have No fucking Idea I just know its 100% Irrelevant to the Conversation.

                

Finally right at the very fucking end of His Lengthy Text Phil admits or Acknowledges that the Coronavirus is indeed Scary. Well thats News to Me since Phil’s Actions Speak FAR LOUDER than His Feeble Words. Then all of a Sudden Phil Says “We Were Trusting You to Stay at Your House” like Bob, His Wife or His House was the Safety Issue?! It’s Phil and His Girlfriend that Pose the Threat to Bob and His Wife, Yet Phil seems to be trying some Role Reversal Tactic which is a SERIOUS PUNKASS BITCH OF A MOVE. Then Phil goes back to attempting to Guilt Bob with the last line pertaining to Trust.

Phil has the fucking Nerve to bring up the Subject of Trust?  If I was Friends with Someone for 20 fucking Years I’d Trust though They may be Disappointed They would TOTALLY UNDERSTAND Why. The Fact Phil is Bitching, Guilt Tripping, and All Out Arguing the Facts around the Pandemic thats Affecting goddamn Everything (Not just Phil although He seems to Feel He is the Only Asshole on the Planet. Hey Phil YOUR NOT ALONE) just make Phil look like a Really Shitty Friend. Phil is being so Shitty over the Situation most People would immediately reconsider Their Friendship with Phil. Who wants a So Called Friend that Acts like an ABSOLUTE AND UTTER SELFISH SELF CENTERED FUCKWIT??? Phil need to get the fuck Over Himself, Man Up, and Take Responsibility for His Life Not Running Around picking Fights with His Friends for Fuck’s Sake.

              

More Proof People are fucking Idiots. I seriously wonder Sometimes how the hell Humanity has made it this fucking Far without Going Extinct due to Our Own Mistakes, Behavior, and Overall Shitty Attitude. We Pollute the Water, Air and Land while Killing Off Entire Species, and Constantly Trying to Kill Each other its Amazing Humanity has somehow (I assume due to Dumb Luck) hasn’t Gone the Way of the Dinosaurs.

Thanks For Reading,

By Les Sober   

Seriously Sick Saturday Cinema: TAXEDERMIA

FYB is Diabolically Delighted to Bring Our Fans The 2006 Surrealist Dark Comedy Horror Film Directed and Co-Written By Gyorgy Palfi. The Movie is a Genetic Narrative that Unfolds over Three Generations, or rather Degenerations. Inspecting the Details of this Movie will Allow the Viewer to see how They Inter-Connect. HOWEVER, Inspecting Them may Also make You want to Clamp Your Hand Over Your Mouth as You Run for the Lavatory.

           

Brief Plot Summery:

Morosgovanyi is a Sexually Frustrated Army Orderly in the Second World War who relieves His Tensions in the Most Outlandish and Gross Ways. Morosgovanyi, a Hunted-looking Man with a Harelip, is Loathed for His Ugliness, but hangs around the Womenfolk at the Barracks, and Burns His Own Body with a Candle while Masturbating, during which He Discovers He has the Ability to Ejaculate Fire. His Penis is Seriously Mistreated by Chickens, but His Frustration is Finally Relieved by Humping a Fat Woman, and Also with a Dead Pig’s Carcass. The Two Procreative Events somehow Fuse, Spiritually- and Horribly- to Produce Balatony, an Extremely Fat Boy with a Pig’s Tail that is Amputated at Birth by His Perturbed Father. Morosgovanyi is ultimately Executed by His Lieutenant Oreg Kalman for a Obscene Indiscretion, and Kalman raises Balatony as His Own.

           

For Balatony, Lust becomes Gluttony and His Vocation (He’s a Champion Speed Eater) is Stuffing Himself Silly. Eventually Balatony is Unable to Leave His Chair in His Claustrophobic Apartment due to being Monstrously Obese. Matrimony Produces a Son Balatony Lajoska who Purchases Groceries for His Shut In Father and His Fathers Cats. Kalman, who feeds Butter to His Caged Cats, has Nothing but Harsh Words for His Son who, upon Reaching His Breaking Point, Abandons His Father to His Own Hellish Personal Prison. Returning LAter, He Discovers that the CAts have Escaped Their Cages and, Fiending for Flesh, have Eviscerated His Father.

           

Lajoska stuffs His Father and The Cats. With Little left to Live for, He locks Himself in a Homemade Surgical Harness and Through the Use of Sedatives, Painkillers and a Heart-Lung Machine, begins removing His own Internal Organs. Pumping His Body full of Preservatives and Sewing Himself up, He Activates the Machine that Decapitates Him, leaving behind a Preserved Statue. His Body is Displayed in an Exhibit Alongside His Father and the Cats.

Enjoy.

 

We Hope You Enjoyed this Horrendous Generational Horror Show as much as We Did.

Thanks for Watching,

  Presented By Les Sober

Tidbits For Shits and Giggles: TALKING HOUSE By Ben Wheele (Animated)

This Little Bit of an Odd Wonder is By London Based Writer, Director, Visual Artist, and Computer Animator Ben Wheele Who is a Repeat Offender if You Will here at FYB. It’s No Secret We are Definitely Fans of Mr. Wheele having Showcased some of His Other Work Here Perviously on FYB (Henry Eats and Cigarette_Warning).

Wheele Graduated from The Royal Collage of Art with a Masters in Animation  in 2011, and His Films have been Screened at Festivals Internationally, Including Annecy, Pictoplasma, London Intl.Animation Festival, Rotterdam Film Festival and Stuttgart ITFS. Wheele’s work has also been Exhibited at The Sunday Painter Gallery (London), Gazell.io Digital Art Space, and Broadcast on Adult Swim and Channel 4 (UK). He is also the Founder of ‘Studio Ponk’ and Currently Lectures in 3D Animation and Games at Middlesex University.

            

What DO We Think TALKING HOUSE is About Well…

We believe its a Social Commentary on Ironically the Fact that Human Beings are at Their Core Social Beings. We simply Don’t Fare well on Our own as Anyone Who’s ever Isolated Themselves can tell You. We’ve all been all experienced Intense Feelings that We feel Compelled to Talk to Some Else About. You might have gotten some Good News and are Excited to No End. Perhaps You received some Bad News and You’re fucking Pissed and want to Rage/Vent about it. You could also Be Depressed, Lonely, or Just have to get oUt of Your Own Head for awhile whatever the Base Emotion is We almost instinctively feel the Need so Share Aspects of Our Daily Lives with Those Around Us.  Thats why the Bitter Irony of So Called Social Media is it Alienates the User from the Actual Physical World, and the Vital Human Contact We all Crave being Human. We think TALKING HOUSE is a Perfect Example of this Human Base Desire/Compulsion.

Enjoy.

Thanks for Watching,

Brought to You By Les Sober

David Firth’s CROOKED ROT

Being the Huge David Firth Fan’s that We are We felt it was More than appropriate that We Showcase some of His Intensely Surreal Stop Motion Animation. Crooked Rot is a Prime Example of Why the Word NIGHTMARE is used Most Often to Describe Firth’s Body of Work (and Why We are such Diehard Fans). Crooked Rot Does Not Disappoint with its Haunting Imagery, Disturbing Visuals, and Unnerving Content.

           

Our best guess is Crooked Rot is a Commentary on Technology/Social Media and Its Affects upon Humanity as a Whole. The Video follows a Variety of Disembodied Heads and Hands as They Navigate a Frantic and Sometimes Hostile World. The Heads Only interact with One another when They have a Pipe Like Tube Screwed into their Heads linking Their Brains.

We are basing Our Belief that Crooked Rot is a Commentary on Technology on 3 Key Clues Located within the Video. The First is The Pig Head Types Manically on a Computer Keyboard before constructing a Brick Wall. The Second Clue is when the Wall Deconstructs there is a Head inside of a Computer Monitor, and Lastly there is the Generic Computer Error Message. The Error Message appears for an instant right at the end of the Second Set of Flashing Images. We viewed the Video numerous Times and were able to Decipher that at the Top in the Blue Bar it says: DSLR REMOTE PRO, but unfortunately We were Unable to Read the Text (Though Not due to a lack of Trying as We watched the Video Relentlessly Attempting to Isolate the Text until Our Eyes Bled).

The Most Interesting and Intriguing part of this Video as Far as We are Concerned is in the Intro Title Sequence the word CROOKED appears followed by the word ORCUS, and finally Rot. We looked into Exactly What the Word ORCUS Means or What it Is and this is what We uncovered. ORCUS is a Fictional Demon Prince and Lord of the Undead in Many Campaign settings for the Dungeons & Dragons Fantasy Role-Playing Game. He is named after ORCUS of Roman Mythology.

In Roman (and Italic) Mythology Orcus was the God of The Underworld, The Punisher of Broken Oaths, and Tormentor Evildoers in the Afterlife. Orus’s Origins may have Lain in the Etruscan Religion which was comprised of a Set of Stories, Beliefs, and Religious Practices of the Etruscan Civilization Originating in the 7th Century BC.  Orcus was Worshipped in Rural Areas as He had No Official Status or Following in the Cities. The Remoteness allowed for Orcus to Survive in the Confines of the Countryside Long After more Prevalent Gods had Ceased to be Worshipped. Orcus even went on to Survive as a Folk Figure all the way into the Middle Ages, and is even Referenced in Modern Day European Wild Man Celebrations.

Enjoy.

Thanks for Watching,

 Presented By Les Sober

We’re The Worst Superhero’s of All Time

My Wife and I had planned a Road Trip to get Out of Town for a While and to take a break from Life’s endless Trial, Tribulations, and General Horseshit. We board Our 4 Large Rottweilers at a Boarding Facility a Couple of Towns Over from Our little Neck of the Woods. We Board them since 4 Rottweilers on the Road in a fucking Hatchback would be an Insane Undertaking.

We loaded Up the Dogs and hit the Road headed to a Town a few over from us. It was a pleasantly sunny Day but Hot as a Motherfucker with a Humidity Index of 90%. My Wife was Driving and I saw mindlessly staring out the Window checking out the Scenery as We drove along to Our Destination.

Far down the Road almost almost out of Sight a Black SUV looking Vehicle that had pulled up in front of one of the Many Abandoned Buildings that Dot the Countryside, and all of a Sudden the Vehicle took off like a Bat Ot of Hell with its ass on Fire. The Vehicle quickly disappeared out of Sight and We continued Our uneventful Drive.

       

The Next thing I saw was truly one of those things that makes You think to Yourself What The Fuck s That About. As I was blankly staring at the Thick Woods that lined the side of the Road I saw a Man with a Shaved Head, Shirtless, with a Homeless Floridian Panhandler’s Tan, and carrying what appeared to be a Military Type Duffle Bad Deal slung over His Shoulder. He stuck out like the Preverbal sore fucking Thumb since We were in a long and virtually uninhabited stretch of Road with a Few scattered Houses spaced Out along it.

The weirdest fucking thing was this Guy was Walking Out of the Woods towards the Road. This normally wouldn’t concern Me in the Least as I have said We live in the Boonies so Seeing a Hunter decked out in Head to Toe Camo standing on the Side of the Road or walking out of the Woods is just Typical around here. This Guy wasn’t a Hunter in fact for all intensive  purposes He looked like a fucking Homeless Junkie.

Before I could even make  comment to My Wife about the Strange Junkie Emerging from the Woods We came around a Blind Curve, and there was the Black SUV Vehicle that had come to a COMPLETE dead Stop as if it was in a Parking Spot at some fucking Walmart. Since it was a Blind fucking curve there was 20 feet between Our car goin 50 miles an Hour or so (The Speed limit is 55 on that road, but as You can imagine People drive even Faster because they can’t seem to kill themselves fast enough.) and the Unknown Vehicle that was again at a DEAD STOP. I had just enough time to say My Wife’s Name and then all We could do is Prepare for Impact.

       

Our Lives didn’t flash before Our eyes, It wasn’t like being in a fucking Movie, and Nothing appeared to go into Slow Motion. I a split NANO SECOND I saw the Vehicle and thought Holy fucking Shit Their not Moving, and then just simply the word Fuck then We collided with the Rear End of the Vehicle in Question. We hit so fucking Hard not only did BOTH Air Bags Deploy they fucking Exploded filling the Car with a think Cloud of Chemical Dust that smelled like Burning Plastic. The Hood of the Car was crumpled all the way back to the base of the Shattered Windshield like a Crinkle Cut Fry.

The Dogs thank fucking God weren’t Hurt as They slammed against Each other and collapsed in a Heap all accept for Mama Dog who had been sitting between the Front seats so She could see out the Windshield. Mama Dog came flying forward between the Seats Head First towards the Windshield, and I stuck My Arm Out like a Toll Gate catching Her before She smacked into the Windshield or the Dash Board. Our Ears were ringing, We were uncontrollably shaking a good Bit, and Spent the first couple of Minutes trying to figure Out if We were in fact Dead. Luckily We were alive and Not seriously Hurt.

       

My Wife excited the Vehicle by Squeezing Herself out the Car door that at this point barely Opened enough for Her to do so. I checked on the Dogs who were handling the Accident far better it appeared than We Humans. I then had to Crawl out of the Car Window since My Door was so jacked the fuck up it Couldn’t Open not even a Crack. The Other driver walked Over to Us as I slid out of the Car Window, and looked as in Shock as We did as Everyone’s Adrenaline was Flowing like the fucking Mississippi River after a Major Down Pour. The Entire Engine lay Exposed to the Sun tilted to the Left, Anti Freeze along with Oil and Radiator Water were Draining Out Every fucking where. There was Shrapnel consisting of the Front Bumper, Head Lights, and Various Extraneous Debris splayed out across the Asphalt.

We established No One was seriously Hurt and as We stood there in Shock to the Point No One could Figure Out what to do Next. We finally Mentally collected Ourselves enough to think some what strait and knew We had to call the Police and then Our Insurance Company immediately. Before We could call the Cops a Gnarly Fire Fighter Rescue Pick Up Truck pulled up Behind Our Vehicle. The Truck was fucking Huge even by Truck standards and had Flashing Lights on Top with the Station Number in the Middle of a Badge Insignia (1211 by the way). The Driver was a rather Big Fellow decked out in Navy Blue Cargo Pants, Shit Kicker Boots, Navy T-shirt with The Fire Rescuer’s Emblem on it, and a Navy hat also sporting the Fire Rescue Logo.

       

The Fire Rescue Fellow showed up so Fast like I said We hadn’t even dialed the Police as We all were still Badly Shaken Up by what had just occurred. It turned Out there was another Young Man not looking a Day over 22 with the Fire Rescue Fellow who jumped out, threw on a Florescent Yellow Vest like the Road Construction Crews wear, and crossed to the Other side of the Road to Direct Traffic as the Vehicle We Hit was still parked in the road blocking the Entire Lane.

The Next to Show was the Ambulance and the EMTS who We informed were not needed at this Time as No One was Seriously Hurt nor Requesting Medical Attention. I’d like to pause here for a brief second. I fully fucking Believe there should be a 24 Hour Medical Consultation Law that Allows Victims of Car Accidents a FULL 24 Hours to Seek Treatment POST Accident. This is due to the Fact that with all the fucking Adrenaline and Sheer Shock of it All People aren’t aware of Injuries at the exact Time o the Crash. I mean unless Your Unconscious, Profusely Bleeding, have a Broken Limb, or are Trapped in the Wreck People always Dismiss the Paramedics. Then later when the Adrenaline and its wonderful knifing effects wear the hell off You start to become aware of all the Sore Muscles, Bruises, Scratches, and Cuts that You incurred in the Accident.

       

Now Back to Our Story.

Its at this Point The Story takes an Unforeseen Twist when the Fire Rescue Fellow asks My Wife and I if We saw the Bald Junkie Dude run into the Woods with something and then Run back out again. We told the Fire Rescue Fellow What We had seen and then told Him that after Impact We were to fucked in the Head to Notice what the fuck The Junkie did or didn’t do. I then informed the Fire Rescue Fellow of what I had seen before the collision. The Fire Rescue Fellow informed us the reason He had made it onto the Scene so Fast was the Next Car to come down the Road after Our accident was in fact His Brother who called Him Directly to report the Crash and let His Brother Know some Guy had run into the Woods to ditch Who Knows What. The Fire Rescue Fellow then told Us He would remain at the Crash Site because and I quote “Theres something Not right about those Guys.” referring to the Occupants of the Other Car.

The Other Driver walked up and instantly the Fire Rescue Fellow asked Her straight up what was it that the Guy hid in the Woods. She of course says She has No fucking Clue who He is or That She was picking Him Up. She went on to say the Other Woman in the Car who looked like Your Stereotypical Meth Addict was Her Best Friend who She hadn’t seen in 6 months (More than likely because the bitch was doing a 6 month bit in County Jail), and the Guy was Her Boyfriends who again She had No Clue about. This is a Classic Drug Addict explanation as its full of fucking Holes. The Fire Rescue Fellow tells the Woman The Police are in Route, and He’ll have Them bring a K-9 Unit out if Necessary. She stuck to Her story and things progressed.

       

A Actual Fire Truck showed Up, but since there was No Fire (Thank fucking God) there was No Need for Them so They left for Somewhere They were in fact Needed. As The Fire Truck was pulling away the Local Sheriff Patrol Cars pulled Up. The Sheriffs made Sure We were indeed Ok and Prceeded to Help Direct the increasing amount of Traffic that was backing Up as The Sheriffs Closed BOTH Lanes simultaneously. The Sheriffs also made sure No One tried to Leave the Scene of the accident, and to Insure there was No Physical Confrontation between those involved in the Accident.

I’m not gonna lie as I stood there watching things unfold I had to fight the Impulse to Run Over to the Other Vehicle (which was a Jeep it turned out not an SUV), and Beat the Holy fucking shit Out of the Junkie Dude since it was essentially His fault. If His filthy Drug Addled ass was being picked up on the side of the fucking Road by His Drug Addict supposed Girlfriend and the Other Driver NON of this Would have Happened.

By Now the Few scattered People living out that way had made Their way from Their Houses near by to the Accident Site, and We the Coolest Bunch of People they were the kind of People that restore Ones Lost Faith in Humanity that’s for sure. Everyone of Them asked if We were Ok, if We needed Anything, and Brought Not Just Us but Our Dogs Cold Bottles of Water. No joking here but These Good Samaritans were as concerned for Our Dog’s Welfare as much as Ours which I found to be utterly fucking Awesome.

       

My Wife at this Point was on the Phone reporting the Accident to Our insurance Company as I tended to the Dogs making sure They had Water and didn’t try and Jump out of the Car during all the commotion. I called My Mother who is My only relative around these parts and asked Her to come over and Pick Up the Poor Dogs since it was Hot and Humid as Hell. The Last fucking thing We needed was for a Dog to suffer a fucking Heat Stroke from baking in the Car now turned Oven. Thankfully She was at Home and ready to lend a Helping Hand however it was needed. She arrived about 23 minutes later and My Wife and I loaded Up the Four Dogs into Her Air Conditioned Car.

It was also at this point the Sheriffs made sure Everyone Stood Roadside as the Woods were Now Off Limits to Anyone Who wasn’t Law Enforcement. The Highway Patrol was called in to Deal with the Actual Accident and would be arriving shortly. Also I nice Older Man who Lived about 150 feet from the Accident Site told My Mother She could park in His Drive Way which was Shady and would keep Her out of The Polices Way. I walked down to His Driveway and He came out of His Workshop (Turns Out He’s a Welder among other things) with a Big Bowl of Fresh Cold Water for Our Dogs.

       

Time Passed as the Three Ring Circus of an Accident was in full Swing, and I couldn’t take the Dogs Home because the Highway Patrol would want My Account of the Accident. So I stood in this Nice Old Guy’s Front Year watching the Fiasco for a While. Eventually the Fire Rescue Fellow walked over to Me and Informed Me that The Deputy’s (Yet more Law Enforcement) had arrived and were currently in the Process of Arresting the Meth Head Girlfriend Passenger in the Jeep We hit because She had NOT One, BUT SEVERAL ACTIVE WARRANTS OUT FOR HER ARREST. So She was Off to Jail. I again won’t lie this Delighted Me because it was Her Scummy Junkie Boyfriend they were Picking Up.

Apparently I was told that Each Law Enforcement Agency had its Own Particular Role in this Situation. As I said earlier The Sheriff was there for the Initial Assessment and to Keep the Peace. The Highway Patrol was there sole for the Accident, and the Deputies were there to Arrest The Junkie’s Meth Mouthed Girlfriend so there were a lot of motherfuckers with Badges.

       

Another Development had occurred while My Wife was still Maning the Phones like a fucking Champ, and I was keeping My Mother and Dogs company while chatting with the Nice Older Man and His Adult Daughter. It just so happened there was a Petty Thief that had been operating in their Area Breaking into Vacation Houses, Boat Houses, Garages, Tool Sheds, Workshops, and Vehicles to Steal whatever They could. THIS was the reason for the Fire Rescue Fellows Diligence, and the subsequent interest of the Various Police Departments in the Bald Junkie fuck I had seen walking Out of the Woods before the Accident.

The Police had been actively searching the Woods and had located several Stashes of Peoples Personal Property that the Bald Son of a Bitch had STOLEN and then since obviously He didn’t have a Car Hid in the Woods to swing back and pick up at a Later Date. Of course the Entire Time the Two Druggie Scumbags are Lying every which way to avoid the Increasingly good Possibility They BOTH would End up in Jail by the End of it all. With His Meth Loving Girlfriend was taken into Custody and He was put in Handcuffs He shut right the fuck up. And Yes in the End the Bald Bastard turned out in a Scooby Doo Twist to be the Piece of Shit Revolting Robber so He went to Jail just like His Meth Hooker Looking Girlfriend. As it turned out The Last Person this Scumfucks Junkie Robbed was as it turned out the Nice Older Man’s Place as His Daughter had conferred with the Cops, and Identified several items that belonged to Her Father.

       

The Highway Patrol finished up all the bullshit Paper work and Sited the Driver of the Jeep with a Ticket and Court Summons for making an “Illegal Stop”, returned My Wife and My Drivers Licenses, and told Us That We were in No Way required to show up on the Jeep Drivers Court Date, BUT if We did it would Help Them Nail Her to the fucking Wall. So Yes We are going I think it will be nice to be in Court and NOT being the Defendant and of Course FUCK HER THE BATSHIT BITCH. Fuck Up My Plans and I’ll Fuck Up Your LIFE.

Then My Wife got a Ride Home with the Tow Truck Driver who had showed up while We were with the Highway Patrol. I rejoined My Mother in Her car and Took the Dogs on Home at Last. The SOLE thing that gave this Shit Cloud a Silver Lining was when the Deputy Officer made a point of telling Us that Not to take it the Wrong Way, But as Unfortunate as Our Accident Was and Giving that No One was Seriously Hurt Had in Fact “Solved a lot of Problems for Us.”

 (1)    (2)

SO there You have it My Wife and I are in fact Superhero’s. Superhero’s without ANY Super Powers or Crime Fighting Weapons (like Batman). No We just Drive Around and Stop Crime by  Crashing into Criminals. Then We simply  Wait for the Cops to Come and Arrest Them.  That would effectively make Us the WORST SUPERHEROES OF ALL TIME.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober (3)

Savior

I hate picking categories for my blogs. Sometimes I sit here for like ten minutes and mull. I like sitting and mulling over things. Then I usually just drift away, drift away, drift away………

I’ve been wanting to write this for a few days. I think it might be important. There are just so many angles and I’m seeing things in my head like a great big kaleidoscope lately and Resces Peanut Butter Cups saved me. Ramble done. Substance begin.

        

Saving

I met a woman
She had a mouth like yours
She knew your life
She knew your devils and your deeds
And she said,
‘Go to him, stay with him if you can
But be prepared to bleed’

-Joni Mitchell

When first heard these lyrics, it resonated with something deep down within me. I had a dream. Well a daydream of sorts. I was 14 years old. It was on my parents bed. I saw that man. I saw the man I was supposed to save. The features in his face were blurred. Then I knew. Then I knew.

      

The search was short. I thought I found that which had been conjured to me. This was only a faux pearl. This was something like heartache but I had no heart. No one was saved. I was left a wreckage. Nothing was broken. Nothing has no name.

I went off further into the abyss we call humanity. I saw glimpses of greatness. I saw far more horrors. I’ve seen many things that do not bear repeating. For their lack of importance, for their lack of any kind of depth. Only rings around a tree. Only rings around a giant redwood smothered around her kindren deep within the darkest forrest.

     

Then one day someone introduced a novel concept to me. That of saving myself. So I did. I had just seen Trainspotting again recently. So I left the life I knew, the people I knew stuck at a random motel. I thought I had stolen their drugs but in actuality I stole their Marlboro miles. I did not fret. I did not care. I never looked back. That life was gone.

Then I found something. I found myself. He was hiding where the willows never weep. On a tall cumulus cloud nestled in between the puffs.

When I was sitting home one night it occured. I had no idea what was happening. There was no immediate warmth or glow or feeling of glee or joy. I met the person I was supposed to save. There’s really no way of knowing you are going to save something until the process is already underway. It sweeps you up one night and then you wake up the next day with a hangover. You wonder what just occured. I thought this was love. This was nothing of the sort.

       

So I saved him.

Literally.

His life.

Not we had a little pep talk and he went out and threw three touchdown passes and the whole town of rednecks went into a frenzy.

Not I sprinkled my fairy dust all through the village and everyone thought he was a prince.

Not he was sad. We got drunk. We fucked. He felt acceptance but walked with a limp.

       

No. Physically preventing him from leaving this world. Tackling him with the noose in his hand.

It happened again. This time I offered him death. I offered him a chance to overdose on my bed. He chose not. Saved again.

Aftermath 

I do not regret the choices I have made.

I stand by each and every one of them as my own.

Sometimes I wonder whether or not I saved the person I was supposed to save. It’s not really what I would call a regret. Just more mulling inside my own head.

There are times that make my decision feel right. There are times that make it cold and barren and desolate. An Antarctic tundra trapped by numbness between the webbing of my feet.

      

I do not search for what is to be saved.

I do not seek that which lies within.

I venture forth the crumbling highway.

I call for nothing yet something always begins.

  By SpaceDog

3 Man Made Failures: Organized Religion, Politics, & Money

I’ve been told countless times that I’m a seriously Intense Person to Deal with or Even be around sometimes. I’m told is completely Draining. While I have been well aware (or accepted might be a better word oh well fuck it) of this for Several Years, BUT yesterday I found out Additional Information that I had NOT been privy to Previously.

Apparently even if I’m on Your Side fighting on Your behalf in a Debate, Argument, Or Conflict EVEN THEN it can still be Difficult to Deal with. That I suppose is because it can be extremely Uncomfortable to watch Anyone (for whatever Reason) utterly Tear into Another Human Being with total Abandon.

   

So this time Around I’m going to adapt a much more Zen like approach to this Post while leaving the Ranting, Raving, and Railing on the Back Burner for this One.

Now one of the BEST pieces of advice I ever received was NEVER talk about Politics or Religion with Anyone. I added Money as it Needs to be Included in this List of Human Social Failures as Money can Rile People up, and Cause as many Problems as Organized Religion or Politics.

Let’s start with Organized Religion shall We. which is also referred to as Institutional Religion.  I’m from the Spirituality School of Thought. What I mean by this is I am Religious Person, but I am most definitely a Spiritual Person. Spirituality differs from Organized Religion in  that Spirituality focuses on the Individual (example: Meditation or Spending Time Communing with Nature) as opposed to Converting Society as a Whole.

    

Now some People could argue that Religion like Spirituality has a element focusing on its Followers Self Betterment, BUT at the same time Organized Religion’s focus on the Big Picture. That is while it does allow a Follower Self Reflection and Self Improvement it dictates that EVER FOLLOWER Should conduct Themselves in the identical Way.

Organized Religion on the Other hand is a STRUCTURED System of Worship (Especially by or in LARGE NUMBER OF PEOPLE) which unlike Spirituality  has DEFINED BELIEFS, RITUALS, and GUIDELINES that are Systematically Arranged and Formerly Established.

These Defied Beliefs, Rituals, and Guidelines feed the “My God is Better than Your God” which has led to such Atrocities like The Spanish Inquisition,  The Crusades (Crusades are NOT LIMITED to Christianity Only)  , and all Other types of Religious Persecution including Torture and Murder in the Name of a Certain God. It also creates unnecessary infighting pitting Follower against His/Her Fellow Follower with the Negative Attitude of  “I’m more Devout than the Other Follower’s”.

    

I believe if You do choose to Follow a “Organized” Religion, and it works for You helping make You a more Positive, Productive, and Happy so be it. I’m for whatever works as long as it isn’t Hurting OR Harassing Anyone Else. What Anyone else believes is THEIR BUSINESS not Mine. I don’t understand when “Being Organized” turned the Religions of the World into a fucking competition over Who’s right and Who’s wrong when it comes to a God.

I mean NO ONE KNOWS if there is a Singular God or Possible Several Gods working together (like The Ancient Greeks believed) or Perhaps all the various Religions Gods/Deities work along side on another without Conflict of Religious Interest. The only People who know what lies beyond the Death are all DEAD, and Dead Men Tell NO Tales. Still without a shred of actual evidence People will still attack Others over Their different Religious Beliefs?!

      

Also Why do Organized Religions focus so much on Converting Others and Force Feeding Members of Society Their Particular Indoctrination?! Why is it that People can’t Worship as They Will in Private Free of Judgement, Condemnation, Demonization, Prejudice, Persecution, or Conflict from Other Religions or Their Followers?! Why do Men constantly and Bastardize the Religious Texts (I.E. Bible, Karon) for Their Personal Agendas, and why do People try time and time again to Weaponize Religious Texts to serve Their Personal Desires?!

Thats Why I favor Spirituality because it’s Me, About Me, and For My Well Being. With Organized Religion there are just Too Many motherfucking Priests in the Pulpit. More is NOT always Merrier in fact it can be Murder.

   

Enough about That lets move on to Money. Just the mere mention of Money is enough to put People on the Edge of Their Seat were They sit Perched Anxiously waiting for Whatever may come Next.. First off Yes People need Money to Live in Today’s Society, BUT after paying for Food, Healthcare, Clothing, and Lodging everything else is just Greed, Ego, Envy, and Social Status Bullshit. You need to Eat to fucking Live what you don’t NEED a 90″ LCD TV to Live You just WANT IT.

I fucking hate when assholes confuse Want with actual Need. You Need to Breathe You don’t need a fucking McMansion to survive Happily. Commercialization has consumed Society into trusting the Illusion that if You don’t Buy/Own all kinds of shit then it Sucks to Be You. Thats fucking Insane.

   

People were Happy and Productive for THOUSANDS OF YEARS without all this Tech Shit, Without the Internet, Social Media, Smart Phones, Smart TV’s, DVR’s, Streaming Services, Tablets/Ipads, Texting, Podcasts, and Uber weren’t  EVEN AN ABSTRACT THOUGHT.

I think the Invention of a Monetary System was Doomed from the Beginning as Human Nature twists Everything Humanity comes across. I believe We should reinstate a Barter Economy where Goods and Services are Traded without a need for Monetary Compensation.

A Barter Economy Eliminates all of the vast Myriad of Issues Money Causes People as well as Society. Remember some cliches are cliches because They’re True, and  “Money is The Root of All Evil.” is a perfect example of this. Also with a Barter Economy People are required to Learn actual Real Life Skills (ie Hunting, Fishing, Trapping) or Trades  (such as Blacksmith or Mechanic) to Barter with.

Alright Money be Damned Lets move on to Our last Topic Politics. Politics is a NO WIN situation. The Government was meant to be FOR THE PEOPLE BY THE PEOPLE which is no longer the case in Todays Political Climate. Politicians have been thoroughly corrupted by Personal Greed and the Appeal of Increased Power.

The real Point is debating.Talking/Arguing Politics with Others is ABSOLUTELY FUTILE. No One is going to convince Anyone Else that They are Wrong or Changed Their Political Allegiance in the end. Politics should be a PRIVATE and PERSONAL CHOICE it shouldn’t be a Talking Point of any fucking Kind.

    

The Only viable Government is a Stripped Down, Bare Bones, Back to Basics minimalistic Government to avoid all the issue with MONEY (which We Just Discussed) and Thirst for Fame along with More Personal Power over Others and Issues. Politics is EGO DRIVEN just like People with Their Sports Teams where it becomes less and less about the ACTUAL SPORT/GAME and More and More WE ARE THE BEST & ALL OTHERS ARE SHIT SO FUCK THEM.

I’ll wrap it up with this Quote by GEORGE WASHINGTON Himself:

“A Two Party Political System will be the DEATH OF AMERICA.”

Thanks for Reading,

  Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (1/365)

Lee arrived at work half an hour late. He then proceeded to unlocked the door, walked in, and switched the lights on. Slowly the rows of Florescent Lights that lined the ceiling flickered to life initiating Their Trademark and incessant Hum.  Lee made sauntered lazily to the back office that was in fact a converted Janitorial Closet, and the stench of Bleach and Industrial German Disinfectants still hung in the air.

As Lee counted out his cash drawer he glanced at the Calendar that hung on the wall that was one of the free Chinese Food Restaurant freebies. The Owner was such a  fucking cheap  bastard he made Scrooge look like a fucking shopaholic.

17 more days Lee noted 17 more days until the day he had decided previously to getting the job to quit. You see Lee was a self-proclaimed Professional People Watcher, and in planning Lee had set a standard 90 day time limit for every job he would have along his expiration of Humanity in all its shapes and forms.

Lee excited the shitty excuse for an Office and navigated the row of X Rated DVDs with covers that depicted every sex act imaginable (well the legal ones anyways). He past the racks of Various Sex Toys from Dildos to Cock Rings lined the shop walls. Lastly Lee walked his way through the small assembly of Mannequins dressed in all types of Fetish Wear to the Cashier’s counter.

      

Lee looked at his watch to check the time which was 9:30 am on a Wednesday. Lee took his post on the rickety Bar Stool behind the Counter, Cracked open a Adrenaline Energy Drink, and sat back since business wan’t going to pick up for another several hours at least.

Stay Tuned for Tomorrow’s Next Installment of  LEE JONIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (2/365)

Thanks for Reading,

 Les Sober

Hatepocrisy : Domestic Abuse Vs Rape

In a World full of Hypocrisies there are a few out there that just confuse the living hell out of Me to be honest, and this is one of Them.

This Hypocrisy lies with The Police.

Cops are SUPPOSED to be Completely Objective as a Law Officer, and NOT allow Personal Feelings or Biases to interfere with Them doing on Duty. The problem is the Police Officers are People.  They’re Human Beings, and thus They are  flawed as fuck. We all are Flawed its just a matter of Who admits it and Who the fuck Doesn’t.

   

Its this unhealthy blend of Power and Humanity that breeds this bizarre, (and completely contradictory) reaction from Police when it comes to the Crimes of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE & SEXUAL ASSAULT/RAPE.

With that said heres the Hypocrisy I’m talking about:

Now when it comes to Domestic Violence where statistically the Victims are Female and the Aggressor is Male. Thats just an unfortunate fucking fact.

The Police I have known (Along with The General Public and Myself) feel that a Man who lays His hands on a Woman is a exceptional Piece of Shit which is ABSOLUTELY RIGHT (the only way it could get worse is if a Child is being beaten).

   

AND ITS BECAUSE OF THIS PERSONAL OPINION that when the Police respond to a Domestic Violence call They readily assume its the Man’s fault NO MATTER WHAT may have occurred. The Man is swiftly detained, handcuffed, arrested and taken to Jail Wham Bam Done.

The Police then bender over fucking backwards to assure the Victim that they will do everything possible to make sure the Accused is out of the picture for good, going to jail or whatever. Its as if the Officers have some sort of “White Knight in Shining Armor” image of Themselves in this situation. As if They have rode in Valiantly to save the Fair Maiden in Distress from The Vilest of Villains.

   

Outside of Child Victims this is the only time that to their credit Cops show empathy and concern for an actual Victim. That is they treat the Victim like a Victim instead of just a fucking pawn in a Crime.

Not only that but while being booked and awaiting bail the Accused is treated like He’s been CONVICTED ALREADY without His God Given Right as an American to have his Day in Court.

REMEMBER KIDDIES PEOPLE ARE PRESUMED INNOCENT IN AMERICA UNTIL PROVEN BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT IN A COURT OF LAW THAT THEY ARE IN FACT GUILTY.

Point: When it comes to Domestic Violence The Police act as Gallant Defenders of the Sovereign Lands preserving Peace, Justice, and Truth through out the fucking American Empire.

BUT WHEN THE CRIME IS RAPE THE POLICES REACTION AND BEHAVIOR DRASTICALLY CHANGE for the WORST.

When it comes to the Crime of Rape again the Victims are Mainly Women and Men are the Attackers. Another truly shitty statistic.

NOW when the Police answer a Rape Call They virtually IGNORE THE VICTIM leaving Medics, Social Workers, and Therapists to tend to the Traumatized Victim.

Then when the Victims are interviewed (INTERROGATE IS MORE FUCKING LIKE IT) by the Police Officer(s) or Detectives THEY ARE TREATED AS THE GUILTY PARTY.

Victim Blaming BEGAN WITH RAPE.

Instead of trying to find the sick fuck who’s responsible the Crime the Cops spend AN INORDINATE AMOUNT OF TIME making EXUSES FOR THE CRIME.

   

And Every Excuse is the fucking VICTIMS FAULT. They fucking demand to know if She was drinking, The location She was at, The People She was with, What She was Wearing, What Her Make Up Looked like and MORE POINTLESS FUCKING SHIT LIKE THAT.

AND if the Police actually arrest some demented asshole ITS LEFT TO THE VICTIM TO PROVE THAT A CRIME WAS COMMITTED because in Court Shack of Shit Lawyers will run the “Was it actually Your Fault?” routine described above BUT FAR WORSE.

Lawyers take the sexist bullshit line of questioning to a whole far more fucked up level, BUT I’ll get back to those bastards later in a Post devoted solely to Them. (REMEMBER KIDS THE ONLY GOOD LAWYER IS A FUCKING DEAD ONE.)

   

Heres a fucking idea for the Police  SOME SICK ASSHOLES RAPE POOR INNOCENT PERSONS BECAUSE THEY’RE FUCKING TWISTED EVIL SCUMFUCKERS.

Its fucked up BUT I can’t help wondering if the Difference in Reactions is due to technology today We are learning about more and more RAPIST COPS.

Well of COURSE I’M RIGHT. Police Protect Their Own even the so called “Good Cops” PROTECT Criminal Cops.

SO COP OR CRIMINAL REMEMBER KIDDIES BAD PEOPLE DO BAD SHIT.

ITS WHAT MAKES THEM BAD PEOPLE.

Thanks for Reading,

   By Les Sober