The Deviant Detective #7 Von Dire or Be Damned

“Like You Detective,” Otto continued,”I have little time to spare so Time is of the Essence in this matter You see. I will leave You with all the Intel You will need to Start Your Hunt, and Detective Please remember above all Discretion is Vitally Important while Dealing with as well as Resolving this Issue at Hand.”

With that said Otto drained His Drink in one Large Sip, Stood Up Quickly, and Handed Rock a Manilla Envelope He had retrieved from His Coat Pocket before Abruptly Leaving. Although Rock appreciated Ott’s Candor He still was a Little Taken a back about How suddenly the Conversation Ended. Rock Tossed the Envelope onto the Bar in front of Him with the enthusiasm of a Man who was just Served Divorce Papers. He flagged Manny down for another refill before lighting a Cigarette, and Exhaling Deeply a Token Sign of a Tired Soul. As Rock was leisurely putting out His Cigarette He noticed in His Peripheral Vision someone sitting down next to Him. Exhausted but still curious Rock slowly and deliberately turned to face the Person who had taken up Residence on the neighboring Bar Stool.

There sitting Next to Rock was a Petite Young Girl with Shiny Jet Black Hair and Piercingly Green Eyes who looked to be 20 years Rock’s Junior. Rock couldn’t Help noticing the Girl given the Circumstances in a Old Man Dive Bar She stuck out like a sore fucking Thumb that’s was for sure. Even Manny   who usually was infallible seemed enamored by the Young Girl He was fumbling and bubbling the Bottles of Booze He was inventorying. Rock found Himself wondering How this Girl ended up at Old McCoy’s when She should be at some Generic Sports Bar with a bunch of Annoyingly Loud Girlfriends and Their Dumbfuck Frat Loving Jock Boyfriends.

           

The Girl picked a Pretzel from the Bowl that was sitting next to Rock’s empty Shot Glass and Mulled it over in Her fingers as if in Deep Contemplation. Rock started to think of various reasons the Girl might have picked such an Out of the Way Hole in the Wall Like Old McCoy’s. More than likely Rock thought She was simply hiding from Someone like an Asshole Ex-Boyfriend or Perhaps She was hiding from the World in General. Before Rock had time to consider another possibilities the Young Girl became to Speak.

” Don’t think I was being Rude or that I’m a inconsiderate Asshole, but I couldn’t Help over Hearing Your conversation earlier with that Stiff and Stern looking Investment Banker looking motherfucker.” said the Girl without looking up from the Pretzel in Her Hand.

“COuldn’t Help? What the fuck does that even mean, it’s just a bullshit excuse People use so hopefully the Person They were ease dropping on Doesn’t haul off and Hit Them,” criticized Rock with Angry Frustration, “You eased dropped on My conversation because Your Nosey and wanted to Hear what We were saying. My Point is is wasn’t a fucking accident or freak fucking occurrence. You deliberately decided to Listen in plain and fucking simple that’s the way I See it.”

“That aside if You’re going Hunting for Someone on The Dark Web The Old Fart was right Your going to need somebody with some serious Tech Skills. Anyone can use the Dark Web, but finding someone takes a shit ton more Know How than the Basics.,” the Girl said completely ignoring Rock’s harsh criticism, “Like You said Anonymity is Key and lets face it the Dark Web is the New fucking Alaska for motherfuckers who Do Not want to be Found.”

            

“Look I’ve had one hell of a fucking Day so I assume this is where You tell Me why You’re That Person.” muttered Rock into His Beer Glass.

“Have You ever Heard of the Hacker Known as VonDire?” asked The yOung Girl Slightly with a smirk.

Now Rock may not have been the most Technically inept person on the Planet but that didn’t mean He was in the Dark by any Means. Rock had in fact heard of VonDire who had been the Center of Several Big Tech Hacking News Stories over the last Year or So. Aside from the List of Litanies the Media like everyone else had No Idea or Actual Information pertaining to Who VonDire was. The News had Reported a Variety of Allegations such as VonDire was a Member of the Hacktivist Group Anonymous until getting Kicked Out of the Organization for Conflict of Ideology. They had Reported VonDire was an Ex-Military Anti-Government Radical, a Anarchistic Tech Terrorist who Lived Only to create Chaos through Destruction. There were News Stories Alleging VonDire was the Illegitimate Love Child of Dark Web’s Silk Road Founder Ross Ulbricht (aka Dread Pirate Roberts) and an Infamous Drug Cartel’s Mistress, and that VonDire was a Hackers Version of Robin Hood targeting Corrupt Corporations and Billionaire Bastards.

It was all Here say because if Any One Knew who VonDire was or How to Track Him/Her Down it would have already happened, and been blasted across the Media Platforms like wild fucking fire. This Meant VonDire is as much of a Mystery as They were From Day One. Not to mention Rock wasn’t a Blithering Idiot or a Drunken Fool so He was well aware that the Shit People Say in Bar’s is simply that Shit People Say in Bars. Rock wasn’t impressed by the Name Drop and He sure as Hell didn’t have a single reason whatsoever to believe that this Attractive and Petite Thing sitting Neck to Him was a Wanted International Hacker. Seriously Rock thought to Himself was He supposed to Believe this Pretty Little Thing sitting Next to Him was the One who had been wreaking Havoc on a Global Level that’s fucking Certain.

            

“Look You don’t have to believe Me its doesn’t Chap My Ass in the Least,” replied the Young Lady,”It’s obvious by the Scowl plastered across Your well worn face You Don’t, but not only that You Don’t care either. What You Should Care about is the Man Your considering Working For Mr. Otto Van de Berg.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” demanded Rock gruffly as He grew tired of Talking to People when He had come to the Bar to Drink Alone.

“Well I’ll keep it sort at least for now since I’m aware Your Time is Precious,” countered The Young Lady, “The Van de Bergs Aren’t Angels They’re Devils. In Reality The Van de Berg’s are some of the Evilest, and most Revoltingly Vile Pieces of Shit to have ever been Regurgitated up from The Bowels of Hell.The Van de Bergs have amassed a Fortune since the Early 20th Century in Oil and Railroads. In the Beginning The Van de Bergs indulged in White Collar Crimes like Fraud, Tax Evasion, Insider Trading, Ponzi Schemes, Embezzlement, Wage Theft, Bribery, Labor Racketeering, Forgery, Copyright Infringement, Cybercrime, Identity Theft, and Money Laundering. The Whole Nine Illegal Yards as it were You see Greed is One of the Biggest and Dangerous Motivators of Man.”

            

“So They’re Wealthy Elitist Assholes, The Sons of Bitches of Bureaucracy Out to Finically Rape the World’s Riches on the Broken Backs of the Common Man.”commented Rock almost under His Breath.

“The Story Doesn’t Stop There Oh No the Van de Bergs started to Expand Their Criminal Repertoire first with Gambling and Loan Sharking. Next the Van de Berg’s branched Out into Arms Dealing followed by Them Entering the Drug Game. Then it was Prostitution, Human Trafficking, and Murder on a Massive Scale. At this Point if it’s Illegal and there’s money to be made the Van de Bergs are involved in it to some degree.” said the Young Girl with the Honesty of a Nun.

Stay Tuned for THE DEVIANT DETECTIVE #8 Coming Soon

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober (12:31am)

The F List Continues Baffling Its Creator

As I am sure even if they haven’t read it Readers are aware of two recent Posts Titled F to the U to the C to the K Parts 1 and 2. For those who may not be aware the original Post was a beyond basic “List” if you will of Fucks as in molded in the Fuck “That” format.

The 1st “List” as it were was only meant to be one singular post. Later after it was posted I slowly realized that I had forgotten a few things, and before I knew it I had another whole “Lists” worth of material.

At this point even My Dear Friend SpaceDog whom I have know more years than I can recall right now thought that had to be it.

And so did I.

We were Both Wrong.

The Cycle just reset itself and began once again spawning a 3rd and possibly final Fucks “List” (which is fucking Mind Boggling even for Me)

To say that these posts are not for f-yourblog curious Noobs. This only appeals to the small section of society that truly understand the “Lists”

No One  including Myself wouldn’t blame Anyone for skipping over this or the two prior “Lists” Not by a Long Shot. The One and Only SpaceDog Himself said reading the “Lists” made him feel and I quote “Dirty”

So for those Hardcore enough to withstand the Gruesome Grind I give you List Number 3 in the ongoing F to the U to the C to the K to the series.

The Fucks List Continues:

Fuck Tiny Houses. Fuck Waffle House. Fuck Tail Gating. Fuck the Illogical.

Fuck Colombo. Fuck Nursing Homes. Fuck Coal. Fuck Armed Conflicts.

Fuck Leaky Roofs. Fuck Head Colds. Fuck The Flu. Fuck Foot Notes.

Fuck Traffic Lights. Fuck Neighbors. Fuck Kenny G. Fuck Muzak.

Fuck Flutes. Fuck Ice Machines. Fuck Regulations. Fuck Teletubbies.

Fuck NPR. Fuck AM Radio. Fuck FM Radio. Fuck Satellite Radio.

Fuck Internet Radio. Fuck Chat Rooms. Fuck Shitty Tattoos.

Fuck Manic Panic. Fuck Body Piercing. Fuck Phil. Fuck Jail. Fuck Uniforms.

Fuck Fango. Fuck Fanta. Fuck Soy Milk. Fuck Coconut Water.

Fuck I Can’t Believe Its Not Butter. Fuck Substitutes. Fuck Tori Amos.

Fuck Mr. Brainwash. Fuck Cheap Toilet Paper. Fuck Hand Dryers.

Fuck Port-O-Pottys. Fuck Credit. Fuck Loans. Fuck PayDay Loans.

Fuck The Movie Ratings Board. Fuck Harmonicas. Fuck Loans.

Fuck Finances. Fuck Mortgages. Fuck Predatory Bank Loans. Fuck Loofas.

Fuck Body Spray. Fuck Spas. Fuck Unsolicited Advice. Fuck The Odds.

Fuck Playing It Safe. Fuck Droll Waiters/Waitresses. Fuck Last Call.

Fuck Spray Tans. Fuck Extensions. Fuck Push Up Bras.

Fuck Victoria’s Secret. Fuck Staring. Fuck Foreclosures.

Fuck Insider Trading. Fuck Slow Fast Food Service. Fuck Identity Theft.

Fuck Religious Conflicts. Fuck Home Schooling. Fuck Reunion Tours.

Fuck Being On The Spectrum. Fuck Quiet Riot. Fuck The Beetles. Fuck Yoko Ono.

Fuck Bob Dylan. Fuck The 70’s. Fuck The 90’s. Fuck Dull Knives.

Fuck Dog Racing. Fuck Horse Fighting. Fuck Coming Back Into Fashion.

Fuck Hair Salons. Fuck Sore Losers. Fuck Asshole Winners.

Fuck Dog Fighting. Fuck Gloating. Fuck Howie Mandel.

Fuck Condo Associations. Fuck Middle Men. Fuck People’s Core.

Fuck Hot Yoga. Fuck Carbs. Fuck So Called Upscale Shit. Fuck Cell Towers.

Fuck Dust Bunnies. Fuck Shedding. Fuck Speed Limits. Fuck Spite.

Fuck Malice. Fuck Re Runs. Fuck Whitening Strips. Fuck Date Rape.

Fuck Someone Loves Someone Reality Shows. Fuck The Bachelor.

Fuck The Pick Up Artist Mystery. Fuck Jeff Foxworthy.

Fuck Larry The Cable Guy. Fuck Kevin Hart. Fuck Cialis. Fuck Zoos.

Fuck The Weinstein Brothers. Fuck Beard Art. Fuck Dog Shows.

Fuck Chris Jericho. Fuck Zack Saber JR. Fuck Deep Fried Butter.

Fuck Vince Vaughn. Fuck Decaf. Fuck Papa Johns. Fuck Bell Bottoms.

Fuck Kiss. Fuck Lowe’s. Fuck Property tax. Fuck Non Caffeinated Soda.

Fuck Tim Allin. Fuck Ray Romano. Fuck Jazz. Fuck Noise Bands.

Fuck Synthesizers. Fuck Drum Machines. Fuck Unauthorized Bios.

Fuck Korn. Fuck Morrissey. Fuck Slutever. Fuck Humiliation. Fuck BP.

Fuck Second Rate Sushi. Fuck Tex Mex. Fuck Fusion Restaurants.

Fuck The Cost Of Living. Fuck Maritime Law. Fuck Rush Hour (Traffic).

Fuck Rush Hour Movies. Fuck Steven Seagal. Fuck Dolf Lungrin.

Fuck Jean-Claude Van Damme. Fuck Phish. Fuck The Grateful Dead.

Fuck Petrulli. Fuck Toe Rings. Fuck McRibs. Fuck Ambrosia Salads.

Fuck Jello Molds. Fuck Fruit In Jello. Fuck Fig Newtons. Fuck Flair.

Fuck Glitter. Fuck ARL. Fuck Contradictions. Fuck Cane Toads.

Fuck Fanny Packs. Fuck Snap Bracelets. Fuck Jelly Bracelets. Fuck Mullets.

Fuck Vanilla Ice. Fuck Las Vegas Residencies. Fuck Snake Oil Salesmen.

Fuck Chain Wallets. Fuck Hacks (as in People). Fuck Pokemon Go.

Fuck Cheap Liquor. Fuck Labels. Fuck Swamp Ass. Fuck Anal Leakage.

Fuck Gas Station Bathrooms. Fuck Skiing. Fuck Paddle Boarding.

Fuck Sorry Not Sorry. Fuck Granola. Fuck LOL. Fuck Fisting. Fuck Thrillers.

Fuck Food Porn. Fuck The Unknown. Fuck Love Seat. Fuck Snuggies.

Fuck Voter Tampering. Fuck Dental Vaneers. Fuck Golden Showers.

Fuck Foot Oder. Fuck Bad Breath. Fuck Hashtags. Fuck Lice. Fuck Herpes.

Fuck Bed Bugs. Fuck Bug Bombs. Fuck Trophy Fishing. Fuck Commands.

Fuck Slot Machines. Fuck Full Voice Mail Mailboxes. Fuck Mimosas.

Fuck Homelessness. Fuck Carbon Dioxide. Fuck Braces. Fuck Smoothies.

Fuck Human Resources. Fuck Spanish Fly. Fuck Roofies. Fuck Spyware.

Fuck The Cold. Fuck Vape Shops. Fuck Toe Sucking. Fuck Rhubarb Pie.

Fuck Smoothies. Fuck Fire Ants. Fuck Preconception. Fuck Cosmetics.

Fuck Assumptions. Fuck Evaluations. Fuck Opossums. Fuck Termites.

Fuck Elective Surgery. Fuck Pool Noodles. Fuck North Korea. Fuck 777.

Fuck Web Cams. Fuck Skype. Fuck Microsoft. Fuck Slavery. Fuck Karaoke.

Fuck Vacation Resorts. Fuck Itineraries. Fuck On Schedule. Fuck Profiling.

Fuck Drug Free Work Places. Fuck Netty Pots. Fuck Canned Raccoon Meat.

Fuck Pickled Eggs. Fuck Jerky. Fuck Grits. Fuck Dullards. Fuck Snap Chat.

Fuck The Close Minded. Fuck Vine. Fuck Crabs (Pubic Lice).

Fuck Speed Walking. Fuck Pegging. Fuck Cream Pies. Fuck 7-11.

Fuck Titty Fucking. Fuck Lutefisk. Fuck Canned Meats. Fuck Waste.

Fuck Tea Bagging. Fuck Gristle. Fuck Waste. Fuck Female Circumcision.

Fuck Vice Principlas. Fuck Rats. Fuck Boiled Chicken, Fuck Bottled Water.

Fuck Cheque. Fuck Pasties. Fuck Granny Panties. Fuck The Over Rated.

Fuck False Promises. Fuck Bait and Switches. Fuck Newark. Fuck Trenton.

Fuck South Orange Blossom Trail. Fuck Disney. Fuck Phone Solicitations.

Fuck The Police Athletic League.Fuck The Black Eyed Pea (Restaurant).

Fuck The War On Drugs. Fuck Addiction. Fuck Vices. Fuck CBD. Fuck SWAG.

Fuck Name Tags. Fuck Hospital Gowns. Fuck Social Functions.

Fuck Polities. Fuck Malt Liquor. Fuck The Cost Of Living. Fuck Love Bugs.

Fuck Medical Debt. Fuck Gnats. Fuck Pat Robinson. Fuck Christian TV.

Fuck Gentrification. Fuck Animal Testing. Fuck Mowing The Lawn.

Fuck Jessica Vaughan. Fuck Thomas Homan. Fuck Kirstjen Neilsen.

Fuck Pubic Hair. Fuck Clubs. Fuck Toupees. Fuck Gangs. Fuck The Alt-Right.

Fuck The Proud Boys. Fuck The “I’m Above That” Mentality. Fuck OMG.

Fuck Medical Capitalism. Fuck Pay Per View. Fuck The UFC.

Fuck Sea Monkeys. Fuck Angora. Fuck Corduroy. Fuck Ski Masks.

Fuck Inflatable Lawn Ornaments. Fuck Fake Xmas Trees. Fuck Candy Corn.

Fuck Chemical Warfare. Fuck Water Boarding. Fuck Glory Holes.

Fuck Cheerios. Fuck Table Side Guacamole. Fuck Lectures.

Fuck Thighty Whiteys. Fuck Frozen Rats. Fuck Kazoos. Fuck Mimes.

Fuck Circus Clowns. Fuck Broadway. Fuck Nay Sayers. Fuck Lasik.

Fuck Custom Contact Lenses. Fuck Artificial Vampire Teeth. Fuck Halo.

Fuck Body Modification. Fuck Call Of Duty. Fuck Gamer Chairs.

Fuck Gamers. Fuck Angry Birds. Fuck Words With Friends. Fuck Risotto.

Fuck Candy Crush. Fuck Zucchini. Fuck Invasive Species. Fuck DayQuil.

Fuck Sleep Paralysis. Fuck Red Tape. Fuck Paperwork. Fuck Trivia Crack.

Fuck Sleep Apnea. Fuck Escalades. Fuck Munich International Airport.

Fuck Preferred Customers. Fuck Yard Sales. Fuck Garnish. Fuck Liver Spots.

Fuck Varicose Veins. Fuck IVs. Fuck EKGs. Fuck Nose Hair. Fuck Dipping.

Fuck Cigar Lounges. Fuck Daring Not To Dream. Fuck IQ Tests. Fuck PTSD.

Fuck Bastardizing Dive Bars. Fuck Artificial Intelligence. Fuck  Hair Metal.

Fuck Political Science. Fuck Glam Metal. Fuck Poking (FB). Fuck Toe Rings.

Fuck Revenge Porn. Fuck Trickle Down Economics. Fuck The Boarder Wall.

Fuck Musicals. Fuck Natty Ice. Fuck Day Drinking. Fuck Paddle Boarding.

Fuck Grown Men Who Call Their Fathers “Daddy”. Fuck Mood Rings.

Fuck Promise Rings. Fuck Las Vegas. Fuck Atlantic Shitty. Fuck Dan Hanson.

Fuck Brittany. Fuck Gargling. Fuck Orgies. Fuck Swingers. Fuck Bukacki.

Fuck Nude Beaches. Fuck Patrolman Miller. Fuck Police Corruption.

Fuck White Collar Crime. Fuck Winding Brook. Fuck Designer Drugs.

Fuck Smoking Pot Using An Apple. Fuck Convince Store Coffee.

Fuck Panera Bread. Fuck Above Ground Pools. Fuck Cauliflower.

Fuck Florists. Fuck Customer Service Reps. Fuck Private Schools.

Fuck Ciracha. Fuck Putting Salt In Beer. Fuck Scrapbooking. Fuck Drones.

Fuck Puppy Mills. Fuck Backyard Wrestling. Fuck Matt Whitaker.

Fuck Blue Jays. Fuck Backyard Breeders. Fuck Kellyanne Conway.

Fuck Vatican LAw. Fuck Kids In Cages. Fuck Russian Oligarchs. Fuck Fur.

Fuck Hello Kitty. Fuck Sports Bars. Fuck Shitty Pizza. Fuck Garbage Island.

Fuck Cable Sports Packages. Fuck Phone Promotions. Fuck The Red Tide.

Fuck Revelations (Bible). Fuck Palm Readers. Fuck Ouji Boards. Fuck Q Tips.

Fuck The Evil Eye. Fuck Pier One. Fuck Pottery Barn. Fuck Sharper Image.

Fuck Segway. Fuck Baby Bumps. Fuck Metal Wind Chimes. Fuck Fruit Wine.

Fuck Dean Heller. Fuck Scott Walker. Fuck Oliver North. Fuck Kris Kobach.

Fuck Bruce Rauner. Fuck Pete Sessions. Fuck Dave Brat. Fuck Kim Davis.

Fuck Claudia Tenney. Fuck Rohrabacher. Fuck Percentages. Fuck Huffing.

Fuck Metal Straws. Fuck Cheesy Welcome Mats. Fuck Police Check Points.

Fuck Valets. Fuck Permits. Fuck 3rd Party Billing Agencies. Fuck Sneaks.

Fuck Military Coups. Fuck Double Speak. Fuck Backstabbers.

Fuck People Who Talk Both Sides Of Their Mouths. Fuck Dementia.

Fuck Alternative Motives. Fuck Privilege. Fuck Servitude. Fuck Mentors.

Fuck Back Handed Compliments. Fuck Cheap Shots. Fuck Sucker Punches.

Fuck Walking Poles. Fuck Land Mines. Fuck Hummers (Vehicles).

Fuck Butt Chugging. Fuck Vodka Tampons. Fuck Smoking Tide Pods.

Fuck Sniffing Glue. Fuck Mass Production. Fuck Comfort Zones.

Fuck Haters. Fuck Alienation. Fuck Life Coach’s. Fuck Advisors.

Fuck Piss Jugs. Fuck Men’s Thongs. Fuck Product (Hair). Fuck Tinsel.

Fuck Cosmetics. Fuck Dereliction. Fuck Disadvantage. Fuck Ye Olde.

Fuck Foreskins. Fuck Conditioning. Fuck Gold Diggers. Fuck Trophy Wives.

Fuck Status Symbols. Fuck Recorders (The Instrument) Fuck a Quick Fix.

Fuck Being “Too Good For” Anything.

AND

Fuck f-yourblog.com.

Well if you have made it through the entire list without skipping an entry congratulations thats really some Hardcore Shit right there.

This is The End of the F List……OR IS IT?!

Thanks for Reading  By Les Sober