Here is the briefest of glimpses into my manic mind.
2 weeks ago I had to have a Surgical Procedure done as an insurance policy as it were. It wasn’t a big deal. Nothing to break a sweat over.
What I mean is it was a same day type deal. Your admitted in the Morning and discharged in the Afternoon (I mean fuck I was home a little before 1:30 pm)
Everything went smooth as a Sex on Satin Sheets that is until I arrived in Post Op.
You see I was born in The Armpit of America so swearing is highly integrated into my speech pattern. Thats is simply I curse a lot.
Now over the years with Age and some Wisdom I have managed to keep my shit together and roll with the punches, BUT I am far, far, FAR from perfect.
There are a few times/situations/scenarios where granted I do still tend to go from Calm to Batshit Crazy in the blink of a eye.
Its a fucking Nightmare for ALL involved myself included (no one truly wants or strives to be a complete Dick or an outrageous Asshole or perhaps they do who knows not I.)
I mentioned in the last post F To The U To The C To The K To The Part To The 2 (that besides arguing absurdity while fucking with people to amuse myself when things get boring) I win the Mass Majority of my actual real deal arguments by Arguing Intelligently.
The Trick is a combination of the Other Party not being as nearly as smart as they think they are, They Don’t actually know that much about what Their arguing about/over, and Their underestimating their opponent knowledge on said subject.
And Here is a Perfect Example.
Once I had a moment to gather my surroundings and ability to speak without babbling incoherently I started talking with My Wife and My Dear Friend Percibles who We had flown in to assist Me while I recovered.
I’m extremely independent. I won’t even ask My Wife for help during temporary physical limitations because I should be able to cope with whatever the task is by Myself regardless of said limitations. Thus Percibles Presence was requested.
Anyway a particular Nurse swung back the privacy curtain with force and told me to watch my mouth with a scowl of disapproval painted across her fucking face.
I initially thought nothing of it because I was Beat Up and Half Whacked on Pain Killers while Muddle Minded due to the lingering Anesthesia. So I kept chatting with My Wife and Buddy Pericbles and I was unaware at first that I was continuing to swear like a Drunken Sailor.
That was until The No Nonsense Nurse whipped back the privacy curtain for the second time to inform me to watch my language because there were kids there while trying to stare me down.
That irritated me because in all honesty I didn’t tell anyone to have fucking kids.
If you have an issue with that last statement think of it like this if I had a misbehaving Dog you’d think the same thing I just said about Kids.
That and don’t fucking try and be all tough with me with that bullshit stare down bullshit, save that shit for Dogs.
I’ll let that sink in for a second. And We’re Back…..
So once the Nurse closed the privacy curtain (I could see her shadow silhouette standing there like a fucking Horror Movie) and turned to leave I deliberately said something to the affect of :
“I don’t fucking need her self righteous bullshit right now Jesus Christ.”
That got the desired reaction as the Nurse threw back the Curtin like a fucking Hurricane force gale, glaring like a motherfucker being obviously pissed off and growing incapable of hiding it.
This time she told me that apparently if I didn’t stop swearing she’d call Security. And that did not go over well.
I was born Loath and despise any and all Authority Figures. Authority is just Abuse of Power Run Amok. I mock Security Guards mercilessly always have and always will.
The reason is technically their an Authority BUT they have NO REAL AUTHORITY TO DO A DAMN THING. The most Security Guards can do is try and detain a suspect until the Police arrive.
Security Guards are a lame illusion of an Authoritative Power. Total Bullshit.
So once again as the Nurse shut the curtain and turned to leave I blurted out: “Fuck This Bullshit and Fuck Her Too for all I fucking care.”
This time the Nurse stormed off only to return with an Orderly or some low level grunt and I was relocated to what I can only assume was a spare Exam Room of some kind but I really couldn’t tell you for sure.
BEFORE YOU GET JUDGMENTAL HERE Is The Method to My Madness.
Incident One: Like I said initially I was unaware do to My then current condition aware I was swearing. I don’t mind nor take offense to anyone telling me/ reminding Me to watch my mouth. Thus No Harm No Foul.
Incident 2: I damn well know (because I’ve had surgery before, been in the Hospital a few times before, and oh yeah My Wife is a fucking Nurse (RN) for the past 10 fucking years) that society has long ago established that Adults go to the Hospital and Children go to Children’s Hospital designed to cater to the various needs of developing Children.
In a few rare cases that are the acceptation to the rule a Hospital may treat Children in a separate and secluded building.
My Point: ADULTS AND CHILDREN ARE TREATED IN SEPARATE FACILITIES.
I knew this was a blatant attempt into shaming me or making me feel guilty so I would stop Cursing.
Incident 3: I was also knew that the Threat of Security being called was utter horseshit from the get go. First off I’m in Post Op which means legally I can’t be moved. I also know ONLY A DOCTOR can discharge you.
Not to mention My Doctor had a couple more post op checks to do plus I had to go through the rather lengthy discharge process. Again proving that I COULD’T be removed from or discharged from the Hospital.
If the Nurse had even tried it be a race between My Doctor and the Hospital to see who fired her first. Not to mention t(hat just like Doctors or Lawyers) Nurses have Licenses that if revoked means They’d be barred from practicing in the Medical Profession.
Not to mention First Off Security would decline her request to phone the Police because CURSING ISN’T A CRIME. Can you say 1st Amendment?!
In the case Security was dumb as a box of fucking rocks and did phone the Police the Police would tell them the same thing. That and don’t call them over trivial bullshit again or they’d be in trouble for doing so.
My point in all this is the Nurse PERSONALLY took offense to my course language, it had nothing to do with Hospital Rules/Protocol, Security or The Police.
Bottom Line DON’T TRY AND FORCE FEED ME YOUR PERSONAL OPION(S).
Thanks for Reading,
By Les Sober
By Les Sober