The Deviant Detective #6: Dark Web Desire

Revenge was a Concept that Rock was more than Familiar with as Rock had sought Plenty of Revenge in His Life thats for sure. Thats How Rock got into the Detective Game to begin with in Fact. Rock had always had a Special Affinity for UnderDogs of all Kinds His entire Life starting with Defending Fellow Classmates from Bullies when He was growing Up. In Adulthood Rock had felt the need to Protect People from the Bullies that had grown up to The Predators Preying on Innocent Civilians. People fucking over Other People Never sat right with Rock.  Rock also harbored an Intense Hatred for all the Things He perceived to be Unjust in the World, and had No Problem resorting to Violence to Achieve His Goal No Matter What.

Rock also possessed a Volatile mix of Impulse Control and Anger Management Issues had made Rock’s Employment Record was Sporadic as Rock jumped from Job to Job. Rock would get a Job until He was either Fired for Acting Out in some Fashion, or He got board and Simple Up and Quit. Thus Rock’s inability to Hold Down a Job along with prolonged periods of Time between said Jobs made Him a less than desirable Job Applicant. The Time in-between were a Pause in what Rock considered long and extensive succession of shitty Jobs He had the displeasure of Doing just to Pay the Bills.

Rock had Never seen the Point in having a Job if You weren’t Your own Boss since Bosses tended to be Domineering Dicks or Greedy Ego Driven Assholes. The sum total of these Personal Components that Made Up Rock’s Personality had virtually Drawn Him to Detective work. He got to be His Own Boss so No Cowing Down to a Douchbag Office Dictator, He wasn’t physically constrained by being Trapped in a Mundane Office Building Manning one of Hundreds of Crappy Cubicles. With Detective Work Rock also could Champion Underdogs, Persecute Predators, Beat Bad Guys Bloody, and Pretty much Behave as He saw Fit. Rock wanted to remain Free from the Shackles of Corporate Life serving the God’s of Capitalism making Them obscenely Wealthy while the Works Struggled to make Ends Meat.

           

“I understand Revenge is a wonderful Motivator there is truly Nothing like It,” replied Rock Dryly as He was only mildly interested in what Otto was Talking about, “The Problem is the more Money someone Steals the Harder it is to Find them. More Money equates to More Options since You can Buy Anything as Long as You have the Financial Backing to Pay the Bill.”

“Well then it’s Lucky I know where My Nefarious Business Partner is currently Operating His Shady Business Dealings from,” said Otto in a slow and steady tone,”That Alone is a rather Large Lead as it will make Tracking His Movements, Location, Business Dealings, and Known Associates that much Easier. If Knowledge is Power then Technology Provides the Tools to Obtain such Power.”

“Alright Buddy Time is Money and My Patience is Short so You can stop talking like some fucking James Bond Character,” sighed Rock growing exasperated by the Ordeal,”Get to the Goddamn Point if You Please.”

“Alright as You wish I have No issue with being Direct,” answered Otto politely, “My Unscrupulous Business Partner has set Up Shop on the Dark Web Running a Red Room called “Do Unto Others” which is gaining Popularity among the Users of the Dark Web.”

           

“I know the Basics,” said Rock who’s interest was beginning to perk up at this point, “You need the Thor also know as The Onion Software to Access the Dark Web. That and You need to protect Yourself if You venture onto the Dark Web since there Undesirables of all Kinds so You need to Hide Your IP Address and VPN. From there You can access Hidden Wiki to see what sites are out there Lurking in the Abyss of the Dark Web.”

“Not to Shabby but You’ll need someone with Far better Technical skills but I’m more than confident You can Locate such a Person considering Your Line of work You must Cross Paths with Dubious Characters of all Kinds.” said Otto being as Frank as Possible.

“If and I do mean if I take the Job it won’t be a Hunt it will be a Fishing Expedition,” Rock said matter of factly, “I don’t have the Time, Energy, Manpower, or Resources to Scour the Entirety of the Dark Web and it’s insanely easy to Hide in the Shadows. I’ll need to Set some Bait and Lure The Target out of whatever cyber hole He is Hiding and lead Him directly to Me. How the fuck did You even find Out Your ex-business partner was on the Dark Web to begin with I mean that in itself is rather Impressive since anonymity is the Key element because for the Users of the Dark Web Privacy is Number One Principle.”

           

“Thats an Excellent Question indeed,” the Otto said in a Complimentary tone, “It made the Most Sense since My Partner didn’t have the Foresight to Keep His devious Plans a Secret. What I mean by that is He frequently would talk about the Dark Web which I believed to be a Sinister Obsession with Him. He was particularly fond of discussing how if He in fact committed a Major Financial Crime how He would Utilize the Dark Web to Help Him get away consequence Free.”

“Well it makes sense now that You mention it. He could instantly Hide the Money by converting it into the Crypto Currency Bitcoin thus erasing any way of Tracking the Cash through the Banking System, He wouldn’t have to pay the fee to Launder it, Theres No Way to track the Bills through Their Serial Numbers, and there No Banks to worry about poking around in Your Business.” commented Rock having become very Intrigued by this Possible up coming Case, “No to mention the Dark Web is ground goddamn Zero for Buying Fake Passports, ID Cards, Birth Certificates, and Driver’s Licenses basically if You can Counterfeit it You can Buy it on the Dark Web. One stop shopping for The Criminal Element. Also Operating on the Dark Web means all You need is a Computer and Your good to go it allows You to Stay hidden in a chosen Location without having to Risk the Exposure of Traveling in the Real World. Lastly like I said Anonymity on the Dark Web is the Most Important thing to It’s Users so No One will come nosing around asking questions or anything like that.”

           

“So there is No reason for Me to Explain as Your intelligent Man and have figured it out for Yourself which is one of the Reasons I wanted to Hire You in particular was for Your Deductive Reasoning.” stated Otto with an air of Satisfaction.

“The Only question I have left is How did You find out about Your Ex Partner had set up a Red Room,” asked Rock with Genuine Curiosity, “I’m additionally curious since I was under the impression that Red Rooms were just an Internet Urban Legend just another helping of Creepy Pasta and all that foolish shit.”

“I assure You Detective Red Rooms are Very Real,” answered Otto Ominously, “Very Real Indeed.”

STAY TUNED for the Next Installment of………

THE DEVIANT DETECTIVE #7 COMING SOON!

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

Hackers Can Go Hump Hitler in Hell.

Once again f-yourblog.com suffered another unfortunate set back. I was working on the GG Allin Pictorial when I went to open photos and the son of a bitch wouldn’t open. This had happened once before and it was easily fixed if by that you mean spending well over an hour on the fucking phone with Apple Customer Service Representatives.

So once again I had to grin and bare it and called Apple Customer Service.

The first Apple Representative  I spoke with unfortunately had one of the thickest Indian accents I have ever heard. I honestly could only make out about every third word, and had to constantly ask him to repeat himself. Finally we got to the point where all attempted communication had ground to a slow but definitive stop. By that I mean I couldn’t proceed to do a damn thing  because We had hit the point in the conversation where I had no idea whatsoever what the Guy was asking/saying/instructing me to do. After a couple of minutes of just simply telling the Representative repeatedly that “Its isn’t doing a damn thing!” we got disconnected. I think it is safe to assume the Representative had realized as I had that we could not go any further, and was getting tired of my growingly stand offish attitude. I can’t say I blame him for if he had stayed on the line with me it would have ended in a very ugly and obscene manner I assure you.

Now being thoroughly pissed off at the result of my first 40 minute failed phone call to Apple Customer Service I called them again immediately.

Now allow me a minute to explain that in these situations if the Customer Representative is Polite, Attentive, Apologetic (if need be), informative, up beat and helpful I guarantee it will be the most entertaining phone call that that they will receive all fucking Month. Yet if the Customer Service Representative sounds annoyed, bored, agitated, depressed doesn’t listen to what the hell I’m saying I guarantee it’ll be the most hellacious fucking phone call that they have EVER experienced. The reason for this is the Customer Service Industry is damn near dead as a door nail thats for fucking sure. I’m sick of having to call some 800 number to resolve a problem/issue and having to deal with some phone drones shitty attitude for god knows how long, BUT I digress.

Luckily for All the second Apple Customer Representative I spoke with was a very polite gentlemen named Isaac Internet.

Isaac Internet went on to inform me that the current issue wasn’t the same dippy dips hit as before and in fact its rather serious to say the least. Isaac went on to tell (and show me with the whole fucking screen sharing shit) that 11 fucking separate individual Assholes had been working on Hacking Our IP address, and had made it as far as shutting off our FireWall protection. Isaac explained the whole IP Address Hacking Threat in full from How It Works to How to Prevent it.

At one point Isaac “Momed” me. Isaac had identified the problem as being Hackers and all I gave a shit about was fixing the problem and preventing any future issues ASAP. I know what a Hacker is and what they do and what their looking for so I appreciated the tutorial BUT I didn’t want to hear a damn word of it right then, JUST FIX THE FUCKER. I laughed sarcastically at one point during Isaac’s Hacker/Hacking Lecture, and Isaac just like a Mom abruptly cut me off and sternly reminded me that this was a very serious situation and I shouldn’t think otherwise. Fuck it He was right. After Isaac’s impromptu Anti-Hacker/Hacking Speech we figured out a game plan and resolved the problem/issue so I can’t rightfully complain.

Now to be clear I am a rather paranoid person and I definitely don’t trust a fucking computer/Laptop/Smartphone/Tablet etc. in the least. At the end of the day as a habit I delete all the day’s texts, e-mails and recent phone calls I honestly don’t know when I started doing this but I won’t be stopping anytime soon. Its my utter distrust in the safety of todays electronic devices that more than likely saved our ass. See I don’t use my Smartphone as the wallet of today, that is there is no personal information on it to be hacked and stolen. If a Hacker did access my phone they’d be unamused and angry they wasted their time on a dead end. I also don’t carry around my Lap Top or Tablet like an electric brief case so again their’s no important personal information, no passwords, no record of Bank Transactions, no crucial business related items, no online bill pay, no Paypal account, no Facebook nothing an Identity Thief would give a flying fuck about.

You can use this Blog as a prime example of how I highly I prize and to what extent I will go to to hide y actual identity. Thats why there no actual pictures of me, my friends or family here, My name isn’t splattered all over the site because I personally don’t want to “Be Famous” or even well known OUTSIDE OF MY WORK. Thats why My Tech Paranoia carries over to this blog. That why I even wrote a post explaining my views on my personal Privacy/Anonymity. In that post I stated I am using a Pen Name as is everyone affiliated with or working for f-yourblog.com and thusly I would be changing the names of all people and places in every post, but not only that. I wasn’t going to half ass it I’m not calling Dave Donald or any simpleton shit I change the names to completely absurd ones that are totally unbelievable (as that is what they are intended to be.)

IN SUMMATION: ALL ASSHOLES WHO BECOME IDENTITY THIEVES THROUGH HACKING CAN GO SUCK SATAN’S BALLSACK, EAT THE DEVIL’S DICK, AND HUMP HITLER IN HELL.

TO ALL HACKERS: GO HACK YOURSELF UP YOUR OWN ASS AND FUCKING ROT INCASED IN YOUR OWN FUCKING FECES.

 

By Les “Than” Sober