Tag: jazz

Homicidal History: The Louisiana Axeman

This is the ACTUAL LETTER from Serial Killer The Louisiana Axeman that was Published in Newspapers on March 13, 1919 with The Axeman’s Ultimatum for Murder. Enjoy.

The Axeman’s Letter:

Hell, March 13, 1919

Esteemed Mortal of New Orleans: The Axeman

They have never caught me and they never will. They have never seen me, for I am invisible, even as the ether that surrounds your earth. I am not a human being, but a spirit and a demon from the hottest hell. I am what you Orleanians and your foolish police call the Axeman.

When I see fit, I shall come and claim other victims. I alone know whom they shall be. I shall leave no clue except my bloody axe, besmeared with blood and brains of he whom I sent below to keep me company.

If you wish you may tell the police to be careful not to rile me. Of course, I am a reasonable spirit. I take no offense at the way they have conducted their investigations in the past. In fact, they have been so utterly stupid as to not only amuse me, but His Satanic majesty, Francis Josef, etc. But tell them too beware. Let them not try to discover what I am, for it were better that they were never born than to incur the wrath of the Axeman. I don’t think there is any need of such a warning, for I feel sure the police will always dodge me, as they have in the past. They are wise and know how to keep away from all harm.

       

Undoubtedly, you Orleanians think of me as a most horrible murderer, which I am, but I could be much worse if I wanted to. If I wished, I could pay a visit to your city every night. At will I could slay thousands of your best citizens (and the worst), for I am in close relationship with the Angel of Death.

Now, to be exact, at 12:15 (earthly time) on the next Tuesday night, I am going to passover New Orleans. In my infant mercy , I am going to make a little proposition to you people. Here it is:

I am very fond of jazz music, and I swear by all the devils in the other regions that every person shall be spared in whose home a jazz band is in full swing at the time I have just mentioned. If everyone has a jazz band going, well, then, so much the better for you people. One thing is Certain and that is that some of your people who do not jazz it out on that specific Tuesday night (if there be any) will get the axe.

Well, as I am cold and crave the warmth of my native Tartarus, and it is about time I leave your earthly home, I will cease my discourse. Hoping that thou wilt publish this, that it may go well with thee, I have been, am and will be the worst spirit that ever existed either in fact or realm of fancy.

–The Axeman

Thanks for Reading,

  Presented by Les Sober

Day 1 – Dumb Dumde Dumb DUUUUUUMB

The title of this blog is pretty self explanatory. There is really no need for fancy little paragraphs and sections and all that jazz.

Well except that I am referring to people when I use the word dumb. It would be quite refreshing if there were only 5 dumb people in the world, but most people would be lucky if there were only 5 dumb people in their own group of 5 themselves included.

Actually there are two things in particular I was thinking about which don’t necessarily relate to one specific person’s stupidity but more of stupidity of society as a mass as a whole.

This All started yesterday as I was driving down to the beach. I ended up going by myself, but had an opportunity to take another friend I had not seen in a long time with me. There was definite thought in the positive for including him but then I reached into my CD case for a CD.

And for some reason chance decided to give me Arista’s greatest hits of the last 15 years. But this CD was old……I think from the 80s!!!! I had no idea how it got into my car, but I was driving and if I go on a maddening search for CDs my car will crash.

I didn’t know the majority of the songs, then I came upon I’ve Been Around the World by Lisa Stansfield. It was nice to hear it was a good song and I still like it but everything else on the CD was mundane. I mean Whitney Houston is great, but I wasn’t feelin’ her and some of the other artists, well probably all of them, had a relatively respectable career.

Anyway the whole CD made me think about how music is really like people. There are some songs we grow obsessive over when they first come out but there are rarely few that we continue to be obsessive over throughout the course of time. There are other songs for other reasons, no matter how great they may have once been, that we just do not feel that connection to like we used to do.

And that I realized is how I felt about this friend. You will have a great time, you will smile, you will laugh, but in the end it will be the two of you stopped at an intersection in front of a music ordinance sign blasting Metallica while exposing your genitalia to the police officer that just pulled up.

I mean if you went out one day ten years ago and went to the liquor store and bought a case of beer and Barbaresco €œSori Paitin❠Vecchie Vigne Paitn 1999 Piemonte which would you still have around today? Well obviously the wine of course, unless you are less the connoisseur and more the alcoholic. Then both would have been gone in relatively short fashion.

What I’m saying is I really rather wish that people were more like telling the difference between what type of liquor to keep then what type of music to keep. For me, I never know when my music taste is going to change even if ever so slightly. I mean the genre, the type of beats, the type of vocalistic, type of rifts, etc. will stay relatively the same. Unless I suffer a major concussion today, I won’t be buying any Garth Brooks or Sugarland albums anytime in this lifetime.

But as people change the music changes. Their music changes. The tune the world is marching along to changes as well. I assume most people are either listening to Taps, because they are doing nothing in the way of self improvement, so they might as well be dead or are listening to Fury of the Storm by Dragonforce. Sad to say it’s a lot more Taps out there, well except on the Garden State Parkway or New Jersey Turnpike. Some people there get so into Fury of the Storm, that in several days a lot of their friends and family get together and all listen to Taps outloud and not just in their heads.

Strange, strange world we live in.

oh, the other thing well i’m going to save for day 30. if i dont the fire ignition switch under my rear currently will explode.

By SpaceDog 

Text Poetry That No One Should Read

WARNING DEAR READER:

Even though We here at f-yourblog.com have an open letter statement posted that has a section pertaining to content. The Following Post is the reason We have said section. THIS IS THE MOST OFFENSIVE and OBSCENE Post to date. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

In the past I have posted a couple of SpaceDog’s and my Late Night Text Conversations. I was recently on a road trip that had me headed into SpaceDog’s neck f the Woods. So I texted Him a short 4 line limerick that then gave birth to an entire poem written on spontaneously on the spot while stuck in a real bumper fucker of a traffic jam. A few minutes later SpaceDog hit me back with a Nasty bit of Poetry of His own also pertaining to the same person. See one of the things SpaceDog and I have in common are a bunch of people we both Hate and Despise to NO END WHATSOEVER. To handle this deep disgust We mock these people viciously in an arena where NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS EVER.

Here is My Poem I sent SpaceDog:

THE BAD ASS BALLAD OF BRITTANY:

People laugh and people scoff,

But Brittany cut her pussy off,

She’d have Wild Fetish fits,

While Strange Men shit on her Tits,

She used so much lube She bought Stock,

While sucking on an Old Man’s Cock,

She’d fuck you till you bounced off the Walls,

She’d Swallow, Eat Ass, and Gargle Balls,

When She heard of Bukaki,

She said “thats for ME!”,

She always had problems with her legging,

When some Dude’s Ass She was Furiously Pegging,

No Secret Brittany Licked some Slit,

Nibbled on Crackhead Clit,

She Shot Heroin that was Top Notch,

She injected into her stank Crotch,

Filled with Pervert’s Jizz,

She Loves The Biz,

Now She has Lost All Hope,

She’s Sucking Dick for Dope,

Made Her money on her Back,

Spent it all Smoking Crack,

Her Vag is riddled with STDs of Every Kind,

She’s Drinking Mad Dog 20/20 to unwind,

She’s Pregnant again and She Knows the Institution,

She’ll go back to The Free Clinic for her 100th Abortion,

She’s a 3 Hole Super Slut,

Mouth, Vag, and The Butt,

She sits on the corner smoking a PCP Laced Blunt,

While Passerby’s on the Street gag at the smell of Her Cunt,

It looked like a sloppy Hot Roast Beef between Her legs,

As Her Live In Gimp Grovels, Moans, and Begs,

She can Cream Pie like no other,

She once even fucked Her own Mother,

Started a Porno Web Cam,

Where She’d eat Her Sister’s Clam,

She’ll fuck every last one of the 42 of us,

As Long You don’t mind Her Pussy Puss,

Her Scab covered Genitalia,

Just the Smell Could Kill Ya,

She’d let you Tittie fuck Her for just a Dollar,

You could finish on her face and its No Bother,

She would go insane if you wanted to run a train,

Just as Her Baby was Aborted so was Her Feeble Brain,

Gang Bangs made Her Wet,

Bath Salt Abuse made Her Forget,

Molested by Her Step Brother,

Preformed Oral sex on her Mother,

A Homeless Alcoholic Hooker,

As a D-List Stripper No One would Book Her,

She loved taking Golden Showers,

She’d sell Her body at all hours,

She can really go to town taking on a Taint,

She does shit that makes Hardcore Porn Stars Faint,

She has to be to remain the Rim Job Queen,

She was a regular at The No Tell Motel,

In Her Own Ejaculation Soaked Hell,

She was a truly Bitter a real  Bitch,

Who’s pounded out pussy tended to Itch,

Her Vaginal fuck Flaps hung down by Her dirt covered Knees,

A Vile of Crack would pop out of Her Ass when She would sneeze,

Track Marks under Her Muff,

Taking 56 cocks a day can be rough,

She would Masturbate in a Fury,

Behind the Dumpster in the Ally,

She’s fuck you for Food,

She’ll fuck a Girl, a Sheep, and a Dude,

She was a Donkey Show Star,

At the Sleaziest Bar,

So absolutely fucked up and utterly Dumb,

No wonder The Stupid Slut is coated in Cum,

She  used to shoot Golf Balls out of Her Snatch,

And Golf Tee’s out Her Ass just to Match,

She’s Dirty, disease ridden Prostitute,

There is NO Dispute,,

She used to run through Police Barricades,

While Screaming “I have FULL BLOWN AIDS!”,

She constantly Battled the Clap,

Under a Bridge SHe’d take a Nap,

She was a Tramp among Tramps,

She’d take Cash, Drugs, or Food Stamps,

She just a low rent junkie,

a Drug Mule Flunky,

A rotten, scummy Hell of a Gutter Whore,

I hit the Road, I could stand Her NO MORE.

 

What? You were Warned So if your Offended in any way…..

For those Reader’s who are around I will be posting SpaceDog’s Reply Poem Tomorrow without Fail Friends.

Thanks For Reading,

Les Sober