Jesus – f-your blog

The Wonderful World Of CANCER CHRIST

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring Los Angeles based DIY Reptilian Themed Grindcore Infused Hardcore Punk Metal Band CANCER CHRIST. As with Virtually Unknown Obscure/Niche Bands collecting information is a Bitch beyond Belief Believe You Me. The Mastermind and Frontman for CANCER CHRIST is the Notoriously Manic Anthony Mehlaff , and is Based on or Around His Rather Twisted Interpretation of Religion, Society, Jesus, and Satan Himself. The Band’s Musicians all adorn Snake Masks and go by the General Moniker “The Snakeboys” although each Band Member has His own Specific Name (Example: Apocalypse Snake). That is it as far as the Standard Band info is Concerned as 99% of information pertaining to the Band are Interviews Mainly with Mehlaff and the Band’s Official Website.

Cancer Christ’s Origin Story According To Melhaff:

“Cancer Christ has seen the ailing not too distant future of this godless world. Our bleak existence needs a new, stronger word of God. Cancer Christ is the imperfect vessel to wage a holy war against those who wish to profit from a dying prophet’s words. Cancer Christ understands evil must be fought with true words and even truer actions; fire must be met with fire, darkness must be met with searing and powerful holy light. The Lords work takes some heavy lifting at times and major balancing skill. I was at Church—as I do every Sunday—and I began to get really fucking bored—as I do every Sunday at Church—and I began to snoop. I was looking for snacks or some of those good latex nun porn mags when I heard a faint shriek from deep inside the bellow of the church.

I followed the sound until I ended up in the basement. It was dank, dark, and hotter than hell. The shrieks were almost unbeatable. My heart was beating like a drum. I moved toward the sound. Flipped my phone light on and was shocked when I saw this creature: human body, snake head—he looked scared. He was also chained by his neck to the floor. As I moved closer, I noticed another Snakeboy, and another, and another. I think they were as scared of me as I was of them. I searched around the church, found a sledgehammer, and broke them free. We fled out the back door and after many months of rehab and prayers. I was able to start to understand the Snakeboys, they were as loving as they were vicious with sexual appetites like teenage boys. They ate all day, smelled foul, loved heavy metal, and ’80s horror and action violence. I had to channel their endless need to fight, fuck, and kill. It turned out they all played music.”

Mehlaff on The Subject of the Band Starting Their Own Church/Religion:

“We intent to open The Holy Church of Cancer Christ in 2023 and break ground in 2022. Follow the smoke and sure enough there will be the almighty fire of God and Cancer Christ along with The Serpents of Jesus. The Snakeboys will surely be there. Praise his mercy, praise his brutal power, and praise this soon to be over—great and tragic existence! The Church is driven by the word of God. We are excited for this world to end and for the new one to begin. Endless blood, rivers, oceans, even of the blood of the non-believers. Especially the false prophets and prosperity preachers. Watching them melt as we ride with JESUS is gonna be hard for me not to be hard.

What they forget is the love and that Jesus died for your sins. That shits paid for in full with blood. So, go out and fucking sin or what did the dude fucking get tortured for? I’m talking with God about this shit all the time and honestly, he’s always changing his mind. This idea that all sins are created equal is bullshit too. And no pedophiles, serial killers, cops, rapists. racists, bigots, or murders in the name of country get in. His rules, not mine. The Kingdom of heaven doesn’t need that bullshit vibe.”

Photo: Chad KelcoMelhoff On the Subject Of The Band’s Name:
“We addressed a problem, a cancer, mankind and provided an answer to that cancer, Christ. God wants this world to be inhabitable again when he figures out a solution to its major flaws and mankind’s major flaws. People confuse fire being that it’s made by the devil, God makes fire, that’s where he stuck that bitch Lucifer after he dropped his evil ass out of heaven and Lucifer tried a name change to help his own ego—Satan.

What a bitch name if ya ask me. Satan works in fire but works with rot. He has been trying to rot the world from the inside out with corporations, big lobby firms, politicians, judges, cops, bigots, racists, and homophobes.

The rot, the cancer was happening underground and has finally reared its ugly, weak, face and has gotten completely out of control. The solution? GOD’s light. God’s fire. God’s wrath. It’s then, his faithful soldiers will help re-create this world anew.”

Photo: Aaron Story

**The Band’s Inclusive Message:**

“The mission of Cancer Christ is to find lost souls to take up arms in this new and uncertain heavenly body. We accept all: black, white, gay, straight, trans and all others that wish to fight evil wherever it spews its putrid and vile wickedness.”

Melhaff’s Motto:

“I stand for all the would-be scum that never considered Jesus an option,” says the musician, adding, “For the millions of demon worshippers that think Satan is tough or sick or down. I stand to let all those bitches know that God bitch slapped Lucifer out of heaven and only then did that punk-bitch become Satan. God fucks the hardest and he’s ready to fuck the world, whether you believe or not.”

Caner Christ’s Mission Statement:

“Christ is dying. A venomous cancer consumes his body and weakens his mind. As each day passes, his light dims to a faint whimper and the darkness of evil shrieks with a toxic vigor as its foul and unholy power collapses the human race.

In Christ’s absence, Lucifer has begun testing their Dark Trinities supreme and destructive potency upon our weak and divided planet. The world heats up, disease consumes all and the old passive and fragile word of God falls upon deaf ears.

Cancer Christ has seen the ailing not too distant future of this godless world. Our bleak existence needs a new, stronger word of God.

Cancer Christ is the imperfect vessel to wage a holy war against those who wish to profit from a dying prophet’s words.

Cancer Christ understands evil must be fought with true words and even truer actions; fire must be met with fire, darkness must be met with searing and powerful holy light.

The mission of Cancer Christ is to find lost souls to take up arms in this new and uncertain heavenly body. We accept all: black, white, gay, straight, trans and all others that wish to fight evil wherever it spews its putrid and vile wickedness.

This undertaking will cause many casualties. The most extreme pain and torture will be experienced but we will not falter in our divine mission to secure a New God, (N.G).

Join us.”

Melhaff on the Band’s Newest Album “God Is Violence” (2024)

“There was a call to arms, and there’s this real profound connection we have to this brutal motherfucker known as Jesus,” Anthony Mehlaff about their most recent album. “We were seeing the decline of the planet and where shit was going, and we decided to make songs to release those bad feelings so we didn’t participate in all the satanic activity that’s been going on since the pandemic.”

BAND MEMBERS:

Anthony Mehlaff aka Saint Anthony – Lead Vocals/ Flamethrower
Snake Bossnoise – Guitars/Vocals/Samples/Slime
Piss Snake – Bass/Vocals/ Urine
Diesel Snake – Shred Guitars/Sleaze
Apocalypse Snake – Drums/Cums

ADDITIONAL SNAKEBOYS:
Chain Snake: Noise, Vocals, Chains
Candy Snake: Sweets
Snake Momma: Juggs, Christ Whistles, Confetti
Snake Babe: Sex, Pain
Missing Snake: Additional Live Drums
Rusty Snake: Bass on “SAINT ANTHONY’S SERMON”
Snake Girl : Hype Snake

Video List:

“The Blood Of Jesus” (7″ Version)
“Do You Wanna Go To Heaven” (Demo Version)
“Prosperity Preacher” (7″ version)
GOD HATES COPS

It Is What It Is,

Presented By Les Sober

What The Fuck Is nasajim108 About

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring the Videos of nasajim108 who Allegedly worked at NASA and has a Library of Top Secret Government Secrets pertaining to the Existence of Actual Aliens. The issue at hand is Jim is Dying and He doesn’t want to Die taking Such Secrets to the Grave with Him. The Channel Description Reads “These are a series of videos that my client requested to be released after his death.” which would give the Impression the Message was Posted by Jim’s Attorney. Now this Series never Garnered the Attention of Other Fringe Video Series which We think is fucking Strange. We say Strange because while it’s a Short Series (14 Videos all Under 5 Minutes Apiece) it is Still One of the Better Fringe Type Video Series We have seen to Date. So We decided Well Hell fuck it Let’s do a Piece on it Ourselves and We did. Below is the Complete nasajim108 Series in Chronological Order with Significant Bullet Points Pertaining to Each Video just Below each Individual Video for Anyone is Interested.

DYING NASA SCIENTIST REVEALS TRUTH ABOUT LIFE ON MARS:

Jim was an Aeronautics Engineer at NASA from 1989 – 2004.
Jim quite Due to Health Problems Pertaining to His Terminal Bone Cancer Diagnosis.
Jim was given just a mere 5 Months to Live Due to His Diagnosis.
Jim wants to Reveal all of this Government Secrets and plans to Bare His Soul in a Series of Videos.
Jim claims that He has Personal Knowledge of the Actual Existence of Aliens and Their Capabilities.

DYING NASA SCIENTIST REVELS TRUTH ABOUT LIFE ON MARS #2:

Jim Teases the Viewers Stating He MAY play a Recording on an Actual Alien.
Jim begins Elaborating on the Various Capabilities/Powers such as Reproduction for Example.

DYING NASA SCIENTIST REVEALS TRUTH ABOUT LIFE ON MARS #3:

This Video is a Monologue by Jim as He Rambles and Rants about Possible Threats to Earth.
The Video’s Music has had Several Hauntingly Creepy Audio Clips.

DYING NASA SCIENTIST REVEALS THE TRUTH ABOUT LIFE ON MARS #4:

Jim Claims the Graphic in the Video was Created/Designed by a Fellow Scientist named Bill (Last Name was Inaudible as it was Mumbled like a Motherfucker).
Jim also Claims Bill worked Closely with the Aliens.

DYING NASA SCIENTIST REVEALS TRUTH ABOUT LIFE ON MARS:

This Video was Not Created By Jim but rather Jim’s Attorney.
The Message pertains to Jim’s Family instating Restraining Order blocking Additional Video Releases.

DYING NASA SCIENTIST SHOWS FOOTAGE OF AN ALIEN:

Jim Shows what He claims is Actual Footage of a Supposedly Alien (Gray) and Provides and Explanation on the Subject.

DYING NASA SCIENTIST SHOWS HOW TO CONTACT BEINGS:

The Audio and Visuals in the Video are meant to Allow Inter Dimensional Beings to Emerge.
The Graphic of a Baby with an Eyeball for a Head is Meant to Summon or Bring a Being called NEFF

DYING NASA SCIENTIST SHOWS AUDIO/VIDEO OF ALIEN TRANSMISSION:

Jim states that as Humans We can Open Ourselves to Open Frequencies.
The Video is to Provide Example/Proof of an Alleged Transmission on a Open Frequencies

DYING NASA SCIENTIST BEING THREATENED BY OUTSIDE FORCES:

This Video is NOT Jim’s usual Rhetoric.
The Videos Mainly a Minute Long Voicemail sent either to Jim OR His Attorney, More than likely it’s Jim’s Attorney as Jim is Assumed to have Died at this Point.
The Video Contains Odd Imagery of Jesus holding a Lamb that has the Head of Infamous Serial Killer Charles Manson.
The Video’s Description is Different then Usual as it Reads “We are not afraid.’

DYING NASA SCIENTIST ON THE ALIEN ORIGIN OF MATERIALISM:

In this Video a New Character is Introduced named Little Hobo (who is a Ventriloquist Dummy) who seems Completely Out of Place in this Series.
Jim launches into a Monologue claiming We have all been Hit with a Plague and are in the Final Stages.
Jim appears to Imply that Killing All Infected/Sick People would Solve the Problem of this Unspecified Plague.
The Interesting thing is a Picture of Alister Crowley is Located at the Top of the Little Hobo Recording Graphic.

DYING NASA SCIENTIST DESCRIBES THE MOTHERSHIP:

Jim states that after the Alien Apocalypse on Earth the Human Survivors will Leave on a Mothership destined for a New Planet to Inhabit.
Jim Describes how the Mothership is Built/Constructed in Detail.
There seems to be a Good Deal Parallels in the Video to Religion (Example: The New Planet equates to Heaven).
Jim Warns that when the Mothership became Corrupt People became Greedy and Egotistical falling into the Identically same Pattern(s) as Those who in fact caused the Apocalypse.

DYING NASA SCIENTIST SHOWS HOW TO NEUTRALIZE AN ALIEN:

The Video features a Person in a Goat Mask and a Woman Tied to a Chair.
The Masked Person Displays a Large Fan which Consists the Statement “You are Sleeping”, Part of the Fibonacci Sequence, Various Shapes and Dates, Bible Versus, 4 Individuals Names, and a Picture of a Snake.
The Video Ends with the Coordinates and 2 Additional Bible Verses (Psalm 38:7 and Luke 22:57.
One of the Names on the Fan is David Kelly who is a Well Known Scientist with Expert Knowledge of Biological Warfare and He Committed Suicide in 2003.
We looked but We couldn’t find a fucking thing on the Other 3 Names Steve Moston, Ian Langford, and Robert Shape.
the Bible Versus on the Fan Genesis 3:1 and Revelation 20:2 refer to The Serpent and The Devil, and Revelation 6:9 refers to Souls being Slain.
The Coordinates at the End of the Video is Either 1. Located in the Middle of the Yellow Sea off the Coast of North Korea, OR a Random House in Concord, Connecticut.
the Bible Versus at the End of the Video Psalm 38:7 reads “For my loins are filled with a loathsome disease: and there is no soundness in my flesh.”, and Luke 22:57 “But he denied it. ‘woman I don’t know him,’he said”

THE GOAT AND THE BEHIVE:

For some fucking Reason this Video is No Longer Publicly Available from the nasajim108 channel, but Luckily Someone had Downloaded it Prior and that Allowed Us to Find it.
The Story of the Goat and the Bee Hive goes as follows. The Goat King who agrees to Help a Bee rid its Hive of Evil Spirits in Exchange for Honey in Return.
The Strange thing is the Story/Video is Cut with a Clip(s) of a Man either in Pain or Enraged.

ALIEN TUNING FORK:

Jim Realizes the Universe is a Tuning Fork and, a Tuning Fork is a 2 Pronged Metal Fork that can be used to Tune Musical Instruments.
After this Video was Originally Posted the Channel took a 5 Year Hiatus and Returned in 2016.

OMEGA PHASE (The Final Video in the Series):

This Video is Extremely Different from the Others as it is Essentially a Singular Shot of a Clock.
There is an Interesting Close Up of Jesus with Blood on His Face in addition to the Clock itself.
The Clock Represents the Actual Doomsday Clock.
The Real Life Doomsday Clock represents the Likelihood of a Man Made Global Catastrophe.
The Doomsday Clock was Started in 1947 at the Start of the Cold War.
The Doomsday Clock is Maintained by a Group of Atomic Scientists who have been Inching the Hands of the Doomsday Clock Closer to Midnight.
Midnight on the Doomsday Clock Signals the End of World at the Hands of Humanity.
in Early 2023 the Doomsday Clock Hands were moved to 90 Seconds before Midnight which is the Closest the Clock has ever been Since its Creation.

CONCLUSION:

In The End nasajim108 turned out to be a Creative and Well Thought Out Alternate Reality Game (ARG) but Who was Behind it and Why did They Create the nasajim108 Channel/Series? The Key to Unlocking both Answers lies in the Character Little Hobo. If You search Little/Lil Hobo on YouTube there PLENTY of fucking Videos, BUT None have anything to do with or Pertain to nasajim108. So the Question Now is Who is or is Behind the Little Hobo Characterand the Answer is a Man Named Duncan Trussel. Trussel is Quite a Character unto Himself as He is a Regular on Joe “What a Cunt” Rogan’s Shitty Piece of Shit Podcast Rambling On and On about all Types of Alien Topics. Yet there has to be More Connections than just Jackoff Joe Rogen to Tie Trussel to nasajim108 and there are in fact Two Other People.

The First is Pendleton Word who is the Creator of “Adventure Time” and it just so Happens Trussel plays the Character Ron James on the Show. Trussel also plays Clancy Gilroy on Ward’s Other Show “Midnight Gospel”. The Second Person is Stand Up Comedian and Actress Natasha Leggero who Trussel Dated between 2011-2012. Many People Speculate that Leggero played the Part of Jim’s Attorney from the 5th Video Titled DYING NASA SCIENTIST REVEALS TRUTH ABOUT LIFE ON MARS. It is Undeniable that if You Compare Audio of Leggero to the Voicemail from Jim’s Attorney They do sound Eerily Similar to the Point it’s Uncanny.

Now that We know Who Created nasajim108 the Next Question is Why did Trussel start the nasajim108 Channel to Showcase what amounts to His/Jim’s Video Confession Series? Here We have NO Definitive Answer, But there is a Popular Hypothesis as to Why Trussel came up with nasajim108. There is another Similarity between Trussel and Jim which is Trussel was Diagnosed with Caner. Though Trussel was Diagnosed with Testicular Caner (where in Jim’s case it was Bone Cancer) back in 2012. Also Jim has Openly Admitted to having Mental Health issues and Conspiracy Theories (Mainly about Aliens) along with Little Hobo are a Regular Part of Trussel’s Stand Up Comedy Acts. Taking all this into Consideration Little Hobo, Famous Girlfriend, Successful Animator, Cancer Diagnosis, Mental Health Issues, Obsession with Alien Conspiracies, and His Appearances on Jackbag Joe Rogan’s Putrid Podcast it could be that nasajim108 was a Coping Mechanism for Trussel who was Facing a Life Changing or Ending Cancer Diagnosis? We more than likely will Never have a Viable Answer to the Question Why did Trussel come up with and Create nasajim108, but Ultimately Does that even fucking Matter We think Not as the Series Speaks for Itself.

It is What it Is,

Presented By Les Sober

A Regrettable Pawn Stars Cartoon

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring A REGRETTABLE PAWN STARS CARTOON by One of Our Favorite Animators/Content Creators MeatCanyon. MEATCANYON: MeatCanyon’s real name is Hunter August Hancock better know by His online user name MeatCanyon. Hancock is an American Youtuber, Animator, Voice Actor, Comedian, Writer, and Director who makes Parody Animations of Popular Characters (say Sponge Bob for instance). Some viewers of MeatCanyon’s Animations have been Described them in just One Single Word “Horrifying”. A common on going gag in Hancock’s video’s is that Something Normal or Mundane gets You Killed or Possible Worse.

We get a Real Kick Out of this Particular MeatCanyon Cartoon for Several Reasons.One Being Reality TV is Utter fucking Mind Numbing, IQ Dropping fucking Drivel. There is Simply NOT A GODDAMN THING REAL ABOUT IT, It’s a Fucking Entertainment Whore Trend perpetrated by the Shitty Television Networks. All Reality TV Accomplishes is making Dumbfucks Famous for being NOTHING MORE than Ego Driven, Self Obsessed, Personality-less, Ignorant, and being a Complete and Total Fucktarded. So Fuck Pawn Stars Too it’s No Better than the Bullshit Bachelor. But We Digress at Least for Now.

Another Reason We Thoroughly Enjoy this MeatCanyon Animation is it’s Complete Mockery of Christianity. Especially in Today’s Climate with Republicunts Trying to Turn America BACK to 1700’s fucking England the Filthy Motherfucking Anal Cunts. Organized Religion is one of the WORST Things Humanity has ever fucking Created and Breeds fucked up Fanatics. FREEDOM OF RELIGION REPUBLICUNTS FREEDOM OF FUCKING RELIGION. Bottomline Fuck Jesus.

DISCLAIMER AFTER THE FACT: IF THE ABOVE OFFENDS YOU THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BY NOW THAT FYB AIN’T FUCKING FOR YOU. WE DO NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR PEOPLE’S STUPIDITY.

The Last Reason We get a Kick Out of this MeatCanyon Creation is it’s Utter fucking Absurdity and When it come to the Theater of the Absurd We have Season fucking Tickets. To Those Offended by the Cartoon or Our Comments GET FUCKING REAL IT’S FUCKING FICTION! If The Idea of Someone Attempting to Pawn/Sell an Actual Living and Breathing Crucified Christ You need to Slam Your Genitals Repeatedly in a Car Door because People Like You Shouldn’t be Breeding any Dumbfuck Kids. ALSO if You want to be all butt hurt about it Listen Here. At the End of the Movie OLD YELLER the Young Boy has to Shoot His Beloved Dog Old Yeller because He contracted Rabies. BUT THATS NOT ALL in the Disney Family Animated Classic Bambi Bambi’s Mom get Shot right in the Beginning of the fucking Movie. So if Fiction Offends You go be Offend by that Shit and Leave This and Us the fuck Alone.

It is What it Is,

Presented By Les Sober

HI

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring HI by by Creator, Director, and Musician Jordan Diniz. Diniz is the creator of the mind boggling bizarre Youtube channel Treatsforbeasts as well other earlier video/musical projects. NOT a whole fucking lot is really known about Diniz like for example when researching I found shit like this “It is possible he is from Massachusetts.” which was IN-FUCKING-FURIATING! You damn well know Finding Information is gonna be a REAL son of a bitch if No One even knows where Diniz is from. I did manage to find SOME goddamn Additional Information which You will find Below.

Diniz has preformed in several bands such as Thang City and The Liquid Flow.
Diniz was the keyboardist in Holding Steady The Heartbeat of Hell.
Currently music wise Diniz is making music under the name Sanguinarious.
Diniz’s music genre of choice could be considered a mix of Gothic rock, Heavy Metal, and quite possibly Post-Punk.
Some say he looks like Jesus.
Diniz has what has been described as “ridiculously expandable jaw” (an example of this is Diniz singing in the video “I me you love god ”
From Diniz’s work it’s apparent he doesn’t think favorably about Christianity/Catholicism.
Diniz created Treatsforbeats on September 26, 2009.
Diniz has gone YEARS before posting new content on his Treatsforbeasts Youtube channel.

My Humble Opinion: Visuals are Entertaining, Music is LAME, and the Lyrics are Straight Up Retarded. Still the Visuals make it Worth a Look.

DISCRIPTION ACCOMPANING HI:

Hi. Hello. My name is Fuck. “Do you want his money?” “Do you want his bitches?”

It is What it Is,

Presented By Les Sober

The New Emerging Mystery: The Valknut Videos

A New Mystery is Emerging from the Darker Corners of the Internet, and We could be more Thrilled.

Whoever is Uploading Content Doesn’t have a User Name He/She/They go by an Icon Consisting of Three Interlocking Triangles Called a Valknut. The Valknut is a Symbol that Appears on a Variety of Objects from the Archaeological Record of the Ancient Germanic People. Archaeologists Don’t Really Know what the Ancient Germanic Tribes Called this Symbol or Why They Etched or Marked Artifacts with It. The Term Valknut is Derived from the Modern Era and the Term or Terms used to Refer to the Symbol during its Historical Employment (use) are Unknown.

What Sets The Valknut Videos from Similar Work (by Meatsleep or Hi I’m Mary Mary for Example) is the Fact that the Majority of the Valknut Video’s come with an Attached Message Pertaining to the Video. Also Valknut has been what some would Consider Prolific in Their Content/Posting. Valknut has only been around since July of this Year and have Already Posted 18 Videos in Total So Far (In Comparison Meatsleep’s and Hi I’m Mary Mary’s Content was Posted over Several Months to Several Years).

What We Know So Far:

Valknut first showed up in the First week of June of this Year.
Videos 1-14 were all Posted approximately a Month Ago.
Videos 15-18 were Posted around 3 Weeks Ago.
We found a Link to a Youtube Channel by a User Named Meat that had had all its Content including Icon Picture Deleted.
We thought there might be a Possible Link between Valknut and the Mysterious User Known as Meatsleep, But We discovered that in fact there is NO CONNECTION between Valknut and Meatsleep.
This is based on the Fact Meatsleep has/was Only Around since 2016 where as Meat has been around since 2014. Also Meatsleep just Re-uploaded 19 Videos from 2016, and Their Icon Pic was Never Deleted (even after all of Meatsleep’s Content was Taken Down Abruptly by Meatsleep Themselves).
We Found a Youtube Playlist Associated with Valknut that contained Only 2 Videos and the First one is PRIVATE so We have No Idea what the fuck it is or could be.

The Second Video is a Minute and Four Seconds Long, and looks like it was Shot on a Camcorder Circa the 1990’s. The Video is some Random Kid Bouncing Around While Riding a More Modern Hobby Horse (The Plastic Ones with the Body mounted to a Frame with Springs). The Video on the Page is Titled “broke slaves”.
The Nonsensical Babbling of the Child is referred is supposedly a Song called “Riding My Horse”, and was Posted on a Very Small Youtube Channel (Total of 106 Subscribers) run by a User Going by Pure Tacos. The Other Videos Posted on the Pure Taco Youtube Page are meaningless Garbage or Completely Useless Fluff.
The Song is Credited to Someone (More than Likely the Random Child) with the User Name C-Dog.

The Two Themes of Valknut’s are Religion/God and Knowledge.
The the Abbreviation “s.s.o” Appears in at Least Two of the Messages Accompanying the Messages Accompanying Videos #4 and #9, but what Does it Mean? Is it a strange Twist or Play on S.O.S or could it simply Stand for Single Sign-On (SSO)?
A SSO is a Session and User Authentication Service that Permits a User to Use one set of Login Credentials-For Example, a Name and Password- to Access Multiple Applications. This Begs the Question is Valknut indeed using a SSO and if So what Other Applications is Valknut Using it For Exactly?
The s.s.o Abbreviation from the World of Texting could stand for “Secondary Significant Other” or “Sorry Sold Out.”
The Abbreviation s.s.o in the Gaming World Stands for “Shattered Sun Offensive” from the Insanely Popular RPG World of Warcraft.
Also in the Message for Video #7 ends “…fruit of a tree whose leaves we are Pz1z. The Question is WTF does Pz1z Mean or WTF is it? As far as We can tell thus far it seems to be Related to Group Theory found in Mathematics.

So What Could the Possible Meaning Behind Valknut’s Videos?!

Is Valknut what is Referred to as a Recovering Catholic?
Is Valknut Promoting Spirituality Over Organized Religion?
Is Valknut possibly a Militant Atheist or an Agnostic Stuck in an Undecided Religious Limbo?
What is the Knowledge of Which Valknut is Speaking of?
Is Valknut Anti Religious and if So Why?
Is this Valknut’s Version of Divine Intervention?
Is Valknut Repenting for Something or Preaching About Something?
Do the Videos have to do with Armageddon, Revelation, or The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse?
Is Valknut Condemning Organized Religion or Christianity Specifically?
Is Valknut Pushing Science Over Religion?
Is Valknut Ex-Clergy by any Chance, like a Disgruntled Priest for Example?

Well We have No Idea and Thats what makes the Mystery so Intriguing. Below You will Find All 18 of Valknut’s Videos from the First to the Most Current. Enjoy.

it all comes to an end. we will win

2. U WILL LOSE YELL LITTLE MAN

3. *No Message*

4. s.s.o we can’t all live in peace

5. never forget that you are not in the world when anything happens to u take experience inward creation is set to bring you constant hits and clues about your roll as a co creator your souls is metabolizing experience and surely as your body METABOLIZING FOOD

6. this is the start my bots will take over youtube

7. why don’t you think of god as the one is coming who has been approaching from all eternity the ultimate fruit of a tree whose leaves we are Pz1z

8. we have to love the darkness of religion more than seeking for the knowledge of god

9. look at the life fade out of her s.s.o

10. *No Message*

11. *No Message*

12. *No message*

13. more than ever that u seen before or ever feel the same

14. *No message*

15. it will all come to a end

16. *No message*

17. *No message*

18. *No message*

Thanks for Reading/Watching,

Presented By Les Sober & FYB

WTF is Going On With Robert Helpmann?!

Welcome to Another Installment of Strange and Disturbing Videos Featuring ROBERT HELPMANN. This Series 0f 10 (Not 12 as some People Incorrectly Claim) is One Hell of a Ride so You might want to Strap in for this One Folks.

Robert Helpmann is a Youtube Channel created on July 12, 2015 which in itself is Unremarkable. What is Interest is on the Same Day The Owner(s) of the Channel Posted 10 Videos in just under an Hour after Being created, and No Other Content has Ever Been Posted Since.

The 10 Video Series centers around what appears for all Intents and Purposes to be a Dead Body Wrapped Up and Tied in Black Garbage Bags or Perhaps a Black Tarp of some sort. The Body is apparently Named Daisy (which some wonder if it’s a Reference to the saying “Pushing Up Daisies”) and the Name Daisy appears in Every Video, Video Description, and Tag. Some Viewers have Hypothesized that the Weird trend of Objects being Moved, and Spontaneously Popping into the Videos are signs that Daisy’s Spirit/Ghost is still Lingering about. Also lastly in the Daisy theme is that a Picture of a Daisy Flower is used as the Channel’s Icon as well.

The Other Person in the Videos appears every so often is a Masked Killer who is found of carrying a Large Butcher’s Knife. When He appears in Videos He actively interacts with Daisy some times Nurturing Her or Stabbing Her (Which seems redundant considering She is already Dead). The Unknown Masked Killer first appears in the Reflection of a Mirror so keep a Sharp Eye Out.

Now Detractor’s are quick to state that They believe the Videos are Staged because the Body or Daisy Isn’t the Size of a Human Adult. This is a Particularly Narrow View and a Rather Snap Assumption on Their part. I say this because simply Not All Dead People are Adults Daisy may very well be the Corpse of a Deceased Teenager, or a Juvenile, or perhaps it’s even more simply the Body of a Petite Woman.

Also Many People along the way have Speculated that there are More People Involved in the Daisy Video Series than just the Masked Killer and The Corpse. The Basis for this is whoever is the Typist for the Video Descriptions Never uses the words “I” or “Me” instead They use “We” and “Ours”.

In All the Videos in the Series at one point a Screen Flashes with what looks like randomly jumbled words, but theres more to it. If You take a screen shot of Each group of Words and Overlap them You’ll see they comprise an entire Poem. As it Turns out it’s actually Not a Poem but a Children’s Nursery Rhyme Titled The Gay Lady that was first published in the Book Gammer Gurton’s Garland of Nursery Rhymes in 1784, and is as Follows:

There was a lady all skin and bone;
Sure such a lady was never known:
It happened upon a certain day.
This lady went to church to pray
When she came to the church stile.
There she did rest a little while:
When she came to the churchyard.
there the bells so loud she heard.
When she came to the church door,
She stopped to rest a little more:
When she came the church within,
The person prayed ‘gainst pride and sin.
Oh looking up, on looking down,
She saw a dead man on the ground.
And from his nose unto his chin
The worms crawled out, the worms crawled in.
Then she unto the parsen said;
Shall I be so when I am dead;
O yes! O yes, the parson said,
You will be so when you are dead.
Here the lady screams.

The Name of the Channel Robert Helpmann if You Google it will Discover He was an Australian Actor/Dancer leading some to Believe there is a Direct Tie in. One of the things They Base this on is the Fact in the Beginning of His Career Robert Spelled His Last Name with only One N. Robert later changed the Spelling by adding the Additional N because He was a Bit Superstitious, and He didn’t want the Letters in His Name to Add up to 13. This is just the Tip of one of the More Elaborate Theories, but it Honestly the One I Found Truly Intriguing.

There’s Actually quite a Childlike Aspect to/in the Daisy Series as a Whole. Examples include one Video Titled Hide And Seek another is about being Tucked in at Night. Also there is the Description for the Video Titled Daisy Tumble it states “Don’t Worry Daisy We’ll Kiss It Better” which is How a Parent would relate to Their Child when They are Injured/Hurt.

In the Description for the Video Daisy Helps Out In The Kitchen it says “Scrumptious Meals A-Plenty!” The Word Scrumptious just Also happens to be the Name of a Family in the Iconic 1968 American Musical Adventure Fantasy Film Chitty-CHitty-Bang-Bang (Who play a Huge Role in the Film). While Robert Helpmann played Many Villains during His Acting Career including playing the Role of The Devil Four Separate Times. That Aside Helpmann’s most Famous and Well Known Role (in America and the UK) was playing the Role of the Infamous Child Catcher in Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang. Over the Years the Film has become a Part of the Holiday Tradition becoming a Classic Christmas Staple, and it’s Shown on Numerous Television Stations Every Year.

Every Daisy Video contain Music or Audio played in Reverse and in Almost Every Video it the Same Song called “Santa Claus Hides In Your Phonograph”. The Song supposed to be a Promotional Present meant to Psych Kids Up for the Holidays in the 1920’s. There are Two Exceptions and they are the Videos Daisy Unwinds along with the Video Daisy Playing. The song in those two particular Videos is Also the Same Song, but the Song is the 1925 song “I’m Gonna Charleston Back To Charleston” by The California Ramblers.

SO adding up the Channel Name, The Movie, the Songs in the Video’s, the Childlike Undertones through out, and the Fact the Book that the Children’s Nursery Rhyme has the Word “Garland” displayed prominently in its Title what Could it All Mean??? Well ask Yourself is it possible that Daisy Represents Christmas Itself? She’s Wrapped Up like a Present, When She Arrives in the First Video Everyone is Happy, and When in the Lats Video Daisy Leaves Everyone is Saddened and Distraught. This would be like the Excitement of it of Christmas Day Arriving and the Depressing Anti Climactic Following Day. You could also ask Yourself could the Daisy Videos be a Representation or Interpretation of the 12 Days of Christmas?

I personally side with Those Who Surmise that the Daisy Video Series is a Social Commentary on Christmas, and that Commentary is Christmas is Dead. The Heart of the Christmas Holiday used to be about Friends and Family and spending quality time with Both. Nowadays Consumerism has Corrupted the Holy Hell out of Christmas reducing it to just Pure Unadulterated Capitalism. In Short its Cash Over Christ as Greed has Commercialized Christmas to No End making it about Profits over People and Finances over Family. Christmas had been so Compromised by the Cash is King Mentality if Jesus did come back He wouldn’t recognize His own fucking Birthday Anymore. Christmas is the Ultimate Child Catcher.

Enjoy.

10.

Thanks for Reading/Watching,

Presented By Les Sober (1257IMYFFY)

Monday Mayhem Movie: VIOLENT SHIT

FUB’s Monday Mayhem Movie Featuring the 1989 German Horror Film Written and Directed by Andreas Schnass, and Distributed by Blood Pictures.

Plot Summery:

A Young Boy named Karl Berger (a Surname given in the Sequel) Murders His Abusive Mother with a MEAT CLEAVER, after She beats Him for returning Home Late. Twenty Years Later in the Mid-1970’s, the Imprisoned Karl is being Transported to an Unspecified Location bu the Police, But manages to KILL HIS CAPTORS and Escape into the Wilderness, somehow acquiring a Cleaver in the Process. Over the Course of Several Days, Karl commits a SERIES OF MURDERS across the Countryside, MUTILATING and occasionally CANNIBALIZING His Victims. After a Double Homicide, Karl passes out and has a Flashback to the Day He Murdered His Mother, Revealing He had been coerced into Killing Her by a DEMON (Who May Be Karl’s Father) He had encountered in the Cellar after being Locked in It.

At one point, Karl also encounters an Apparition of JESUS Crucified in the Forrest, which HE HACKS OPEN, and CRAWLS INSIDE. After this Encounter, Karl commits an Additional Dual Murder outside of a Church, then Collapses in a Field, where HE IS SKIN (which has been Inexplicably Decaying throughout the Film) ROTS OFF, and HE Dies Ripping Himself Open, Revealing a BABY COVERED IN BLOOD.

“However crude the rest of this Amateur Production may be, there’s NO Denying the Power of this Gore-Soaked Mayhem. Both Schnaas’s willingness to Push Boundaries and His attention to Squeamish Detail are Noteworthy…Forcing the Audience to Either Confront it Head On or Look Away in Disgust.” -Brett Gallman (Oh, the Horror!)

Enjoy.

We Hope You Enjoyed this Tale of Mayhem and Murder as Much as We Did.

Thanks for Watching,

By Les Sober

Dark Web Video: Corpus Christus (Lobotomy)

Welcome to this Installment of Dark Web Video Featuring CORPUS CHRISTUS!

First off the Name is sort of a Shock Type Tactic as it’s a Play on the Latin Corpus Christi which translates into The Body of Christ, but that’s Not All. It turns Out Corpus Christus is in Fact the Stop Motion Nightmare By the wonderfully Demented David Hatch (Who Directed, Produced, and Animated Lobotomy for Hatch Films). Corpus Christus is actually Hatch’s 2005 Video Tilted Lobotomy with the Video’s Beginning and Ending Credits Edited Out. WE thought it Only Fare to Post Both Videos as Proof so Below You will Find Corpus Christus followed by Lobotomy.

Plot: A Man going through the Aging Process is Tended to By a Series of Demonically looking and Tortured Mechanical Minions throughout His Life.

Possible Themes:

It could be a Religious Commentary about How much Horrible Shit has been committed in the Name of God.
It could be a Social Commentary about Battling /Coping with One’s Inner Demons or about not letting Your age Define You or Possible its about Regret.
It could be about the Aging Process in that from the Moment We are Born are Bodies are Aging, and as They do They start to Wear Out, Break Down, and Fail. That and with more Recent Medical Developments People are Living Longer than Ever, but How can We Keep Our Bodies Maintained trough a Longer Existence?!

Thanks for Watching,

Presented by Les Sober

Saying “Let Me Let You Go” Is Fucking Lame

One of My Best Friends from High School, and only one of a few People I kept in Touch Sporadically through out the Years was Bluejetski (Sad to Say Bluejetski Passed Fairly Recently). Something We had in common was We both were in Agreement People do Absurd Shit without even thinking, or at Least Thinking it Through. A Prime Example was that on of the Most Common Absurd things that People do is End Phone Conversations by Saying “Well Let Me Let You Go…..” which is Utterly Ridiculous.

If I’m the one Ending the fucking Phone Call then Why am I acting like the Person I’m talking to said They had to Go?! Also whenever Someone says “Let Me Let You Go…..” They explain what it is They have to Do Now, and that’s the Reason They’re Ending the Call. If You think about it for a Second it makes Much more Sense to say the Alternative “I Have To Go…..” since it’s Far more Accurate a Statement.

Luckily on of the Reasons Bluejetski and I were Friends in the First Place was We shared the same Absurdly Bizarre and Extremely Dark sense of Humor. So in this Case We decided as Far as We were Concerned We would always Opt for “I have to Go” over “Let Me Let You Go”, but that wasn’t all Not by a Long Shot. Next We Launch an Unofficially Official Who can Top Who with the Reason We had to Go. Since Blujetski’s Untimely Demise I’ve reflected on Our Unique Friendship to say the Least. Thus I decided to Type up a Mock List as an Example(s) of the Weird Shit We Said to Each other over Our 27 Year Friendship.

Here We Go: “I Have To Go…..”

I Just Farted Blood.
I shit so hard I Prolapsed My Rectum.
My Grandfather just Spontaneously Combusted.
My Cat Just Ate My Dog.
I got my Dick stuck in My Bong.
My Grandmother just Transformed into My Grandfather.
The Aliens are Here and want to get on with the Probing.
I was holding a Seance and Now all My Dead Relatives are here.
I just made Jam out of a Jellyfish.
A Bear is raping a Rabbit in My back Yard.

I accidentally Disemboweled Myself.
The Acid I took just Kicked and I being chased by French Fries.
A Dingo Ate My Baby. (Hats off to You if You get That Reference)
Satan is Calling.
Just started a New Crack Addiction.
I have to Pawn My Great Grandfather’s Gold Teeth.
I have to call 911 I was Masturbating and the Cock Ring is Stuck.
I was reading a Porn Magazine and got a Paper cut on My Cock.
I have to put a VooDoo curse on My Neighbors thats gives them all Herpies.
Jesus is calling Me Home I’m running Late.

I have to go watch Debbie does Nova Scotia (Hats Off if You get that Reference.
Stepped on a Needle at the Jersey Shore and Now am Addicted to Heroin.
I have to Jump Up My own Butt and Die.
I’m having a Way to Near Near Death Experience.
My Pet Hamster got Aids.
I have to Lobotomize a Stray Cat.
Drive the Sheep to the Sheep Fuckers Union Meeting.
I’m going to a Circle Jerk Hosted by an Octopus.
I have to Call Cthulhu (Hots off again if You get That Reference)
I have to find a Hooker with Grabs because I want Seafood, but I’m Broke.

I have to Impale My Boss.
I just Passed Go and Didn’t Collect $200.
Because a Riot Doesn’t start on its own.
A chicken thinks My Balls are Eggs and Won’t get off My Lap.
Have to Eat Pork’n Beans in Hell.
To Prove I’m a Real Man by Wiping My Ass with Barbwire.
I’m gonna try jerking off with Sandpaper.
I didn’t look both ways before crossing the Street.
A Bus Full of Nuns just Exploded Outside My House.
Forgot to Buy Fertilizer for My Mom’s Garden so I have to go Shit in It.

Going to Populate Antartica.
I fucked My Girlfriends brains Out and Now I have to figure out how to put them back in.
I have to figure out what to do with all these Dead Ninjas.
I have to Wax on Wax Off.
Join a Boy Band and Kill Myself.
I have to Eat Shit.
I have to get My Fuck Flying because I don’t give One.
I was scratching My ass and Accidentally Fisted Myself.
Have to Gargle with Broken Glass.
See about Aborting My Uncle.

I just went completely Deaf.
I give a Shit, But I don’t give a fuck.
Chuck Norris is here and wants to throw down.
Need to hold onto a blade of Grass to keep from falling off the Planet.
I have to go throw Airplane Liquor Bottles at My Alcoholic Aunt.
Have to get going on a Old Fashioned Bender.
I just turned inside Out.
ME, Myself, and I are in a Fight.
Swallow a Sword and shit a Dagger.
My head wasn’t fastened On so I Lost it.

My Brain fell out of My Ear and Rolled under the Refrigerator.
I have to train My Flea Circus because We’re going on a Tour.
Breed My Captive Platypuses.
I bought Guam so I have to Fill out a shit ton of Paperwork.
My Tapeworm is Hungry.
I got so High (aka Stoned) I can see My House from Here.
My brother is on PCP in the Backyard Kicking the shit out of a Squirrel.
I have to Try Bud Dry. (Hots off if You get that Reference)
Get in a Shouting Match with a Mute.
There Nazis on the Moon and Someone has to Stop them.

Moving to Chernobyl to see if I gain any Super Powers.
I have an Appointment to Pierce and Tattoo My Taint.
My 4th Cousin Removed needs an Exorcism.
I ate Shit and will Now Die.
Hack My Robots Brain to see what it’s Thinking.
Spear Fish in the Pond at the Local Golf Course.
Go to the Community Pool and Throw Rocks at People.
About to get into a Knife Fight with a Homicidal Hobo.
I’m converting to Cannibalism and a Tasty looking Jogger just went by.
I have to Just Say No. (Yup Hats Off if You got that Reference)

I have to go fuck Myself.
I got to start cooking a Rack of Spam.
I’ve gone Temporarily Insane, But I’ll Be Ok by Monday.
I got High on My own Supply.
I’m going to Start Some Anarchy in the UK (Hots off Reference)
Because I have something I need to do The Day After Yesterday.
I lost My fucking Marbles so I replaced them with Tiddly Winks and its not working out well.
I Assumed and made an Ass out of You and Me.
Disgraced My Family and am going to Commit Ritual Suicide as Penance.
I have to go See a Man about a Widget.

I just got Confirmation I’m going to be on Jerry Springer.
My Trailer Park is on Fire.
I’m upgrading from Double to Triple Wide.
My Government Cheese Just Arrived.
I’m throwing a Red Roof Party.
I just went on the Deep Web and Drowned.
I have to Pick My Teeth with a Razor Blade.
I’m not going Grave Robbing I’m Grave Spelunking.
Death comes to those who Wait and I’ve been on Hold Forever.
I just Projectile Vomited so I need to make sure I’m not Possessed.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

FYB Update: A Glimpse Behind The Cloak Part 2: Next Stop The Great Southern Swamp

So Once the Car Crash Chaos finally Calmed Down We were able to Hit the Road out of the Woods headed straight towards the Great Southern Swamp. Though We ended up leaving 3 fucking Horus behind Schedule (I hate being Late its a Pet fucking Peave of Mine) it was Mostly My fault I must Admit. I would go to do Something only to get Distracted along the Way thus Wasting a great deal of Time chasing My own damn Tail as it were.

In All Actuality I can’t complain I mean obviously I could be an Asshole of the Highest Order and Nit Pick something to Bitch about, But why the Hell do that?! Once We left it was smooth fucking Sailing all the Way No Shitty Weather, Traffic Jams, Road Construction, Road Delays, Accidents, Rush Hour Issues, and No Stupid Motherfuckers sitting at a Dead Stop in the Middle the Road (on a Blind Curve ) while Stealing Shit to Deal with it was Damn near Perfect.

Since We weren’t going to get to Where We needed to be until much Later then expected We decided not to get Pissed about it, and instead take Advantage of it by taking Our Sweet Ass Time. Fuck the Runaround, Rushing About, and the Rat Race fuck Them all. It was nice I have to admit not to be so Constricted by the Concept of Time it was quite fucking Peaceful.

We got a Good Nights Sleep and a Chance to Sleep in which is always Nice. After milling around Drinking Coffee to No End My Wife and I met up with Her Best Friend Dozie (and a Good Friend and Ex-Coworker of Mine). The first Order of Business was Lunch as Dozie was just getting off Work by the Time We were ready to Venture Out into the Surrounding Swamp. Since We live Deep in the Woods of The Southern Country We don’t have Certain things You can find Pretty much anywhere fucking Else, and in this Case it was a Deli. No Deli’s in the Boondocks I am afraid to Say.

After Lunch We rather Aimlessly Rode around Town checking out How Our Old Stomping Ground had Changed or Evolved since We got the Hell out of the Breath Southern Swamp. We also made Several purchases of Other Hard to Locate Living in No Man’s Land Items along the Way as Well figuring Why waste a Perfectly Good Opportunity?! As the Day Faded Away into the Oncoming Dark Night My Wife, Dozie, and I prepared Ourselves for a Evening out at The Eagles Our Long Time Favorite Local Dive Bar.

What Dozie was unaware of was that Over Time My Wife and I found a Following of Friendly People who Adore the shit Out of Us especially since We moved several Years Ago. My Wife dropped Me off at the Eagles and went to run to the Bank or some last minute mundane Task, and I went in ahead of Her and Dozie.

The First Person I ran into is a Gentleman Named Hatchet who instantly as He always does (and has for fucking Years) Yelled at the top of his fucking Lungs “HEY IT’S JESUS!”, and Then precedes to Shake My Hand and inadvertently fucking Break it with Drunken Excitement. Now Why Does He Refer to Me as Jesus? Why is My Nickname in General at the Eagles Jesus? Well I’ll leave it Up to You to figure that one Out.

During the Course of the Night I got to visit with My Favorite Eagles Bar Tender of all Fucking Time Audry who ironically was Tending Bar that Night. The New Bar Tender was alright She didn’t neglect anyone or Drag Her Ass in any way, but there was still that awkward Unfamiliarity hanging in the Air like a Lingering Fart. I got to See the Cast of Usual Suspects and Especially My Best Friend Mr. Percy most of All. It was a rather Lively Night at the Eagles which can be quite Low Key when it wants to be. There was Endless Rounds of Jello Shots, Chaotic Karaoke, and Some Alcohol Fueled and Related Auction for All Kinds of Random shit. There was like Your Basic Gift Basket, but Mostly it was Bottles of Booze or Heavily Booze Laced Desserts/Cakes, and the Fireball was Flowing Freely.

The Following Morning I woke up Nice and Early just so I could have the Pleasure of Puking. You know You’ve Partied Your Ass Off to Capacity when You Vomit During OR at The End of the Night. If You wake up and the First fucking thing You do is Vomit You know Last Night You abused the Hell Out of Your Liver, and More than likely You Damn Near did Your Liver in Once and For All. It’s one of Those Times where You wake Up, and say to Yourself Well I may Not be Quitting Drinking for Good, But I am for Quite a While.It’s the type of Hangover that Even when it’s Over it Still Haunts Your Memory.

A Little Later on that Pleasantly Sunny Morning My Wife and I had Brunch with Her Aunt and Uncle along with My Wife’s Younger Cousin and His Wife. Considering the Previous Nights Over Indulgence on My part this Brunch was Particularly Brutal just to Get Through. My Head was Fuzzy, My Eyes were Blurry, and I My Mind was Muddled as a Motherfucker Let Me Tell You. Weirdly at the Same Time it was really Pleasant on some Sick Level I suppose because all said and Done I ultimately enjoyed Myself.

The Restaurant We ate at was a Bit Too Fancy For Me as I’m so fucking LOW Maintenance its an Ongoing Joke.I went with the Family Flow and Ordered a 3 Course Lunch with Various Options in the Appetizer/Main Course/ Dessert Something or Other. The Appetizer I opted for Honestly was the Only fucking Option that sounded like anything I would actually Eat which was Black Bean and Bacon Soup. Did I mention How Hungover I was because that Soup was HEAVY AS FUCK! I mean while it Tasted Splendid as soon as it Landed in Your Stomach it Apparently turns into Instant Cement or at Least thats what fucking Felt Like. The Main Course was Fish so it was Delightful and Light on the Stomach which was still Reeling from the Dense Soup Scenario. The Dessert Deal turned out to be a Selection of Desserts in fucking Shot Glasses which I’m rather Ambivalent about, but thats just Me.

After the Meal was Over Everyone went Their different Ways, and My Wife and I circled around Back to Base Camp. My Wife spent Her time productively Completing Her Continuing Education Courses/Credits for this Year while I on the Other Hand took a Well Needed Nap to Fully Regain My Faculties. It was by by Definition a Power Nap as I awoke Feeling like My Normal fucking Self Again, I was Resurrected in the Land of the Living.

We reconvened that evening around 6 pm when I noticed that a Couple We Knew and were Good Friends with had Texted Us to see if We’d like to stop by Their House for Dinner, and to See the Puppy of Ours They Adopted a Year Back. I would like to take a second to acknowledge that Derrick and Terri are Great Owners, But Bernie (The Dog) turned out to be a Great Dog. Well Behaved, No Bad Habits, Listens to His Owners Etc.

I immediately conferred with my Wife and Texted Derrick and Terri back with an Enthusiastic Hell’s Yes. Unfortunately it turned Out Derrick had been doing Roofing Work that Day, and as Roofing goes He fucked up His Back pretty Bad. So Poor fucking Derrick had to Bail on Dinner to tend to His Beat Up Back, But We still stopped by and Saw Terri ad Bernie, Hung out for a while, Shot the Shit, had a Few Beers, and Laughed a lot. After Our visit We headed over to the Eagles once again to meet up with Mr. Percy and Thank God it was a much Slower Night at The Eagles. I was Happy because the other Night had been Fun as fuck sometimes Relaxing over a Few Drinks beats Partying until Dawn.

We Left the Following Morning after having Breakfast with My Wife’s Older Cousin who was in Town. We Managed to Stay on Schedule this time around and made Great Time. I honestly was a Little Impressed I must say. Again We were lucky as Hell not to have had to Deal with any Traffic/Road Issues like Holiday Traffic or Weekend Traffic for Example. Needless to say it was Splendid Not getting Stuck in some Aggravating bullshit along the Way. I enjoy the Ride because it’s Familiar, BUT Not to the Point of Monotony. This is a Very fucking Difficult Balance to Achieve None the Less Maintain the Test of Time. I find Boredom Deplorable and Truly Hellish in Many Ways so this Delicate Balance is Especially Important in My Mind.

Since We returned Home to the Woods much Earlier than Ever be for decided if We could Pick Up Our Big Dogs Tonight instead of having Wait till After Work the Following Day. It Save Us both Time and Money which I am Always in Favor of. It would just so Happen that even though it was well After Hours the Guy We Board with was willing to Stay Late and gave Us His Cell Number. We called and of course He said come on by which means see You in 45 minutes because again We live in the Middle of No Where Special. We managed to pick up the Big Dogs without to much Hyper Dog Drama except for When Big Dad Dog came flying cross the Front Desk into the Waiting Room.

Once We got Home Everyone Hit the Couch and fucking CRASHED being utterly Worn Out and Thoroughly Exhausted from Our Venture. Road Trips are fucking Fun, But at the same Time there’s Nothing Like Returning Home.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober