Jesus – Page 2 – f-your blog

FYB’s Cartoons That Are NOT for Kids: Psychotic Saturday Cartoons

Saturday is Upon Us Once Again so its Time for Another Round of Cartoons That Are NOT for Kids. This Week its a Double Dose of Demented from treatsforbeasts (I know that looks a little fucked, BUT that’s how He Spells His Moniker).

First is a Little Diddy Titled “Beasts”, and if I had to guess its a Sarcastic Sociological Commentary on How People Feel Entitled to do Whatever the hell They want regardless of the Damage or Consequences. “Beasts” was the LAST VIDEO Posted by treatsforbeasts over 2 Years Ago.

WARNING!!! THE SECOND CARTOON TITLED “I LOVE JESUS” Contains IMAGES and CONTENT That Some Viewers May Find HIGHLY OBJECTIONABLE. ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A CHRISTIAN WHO TAKES THEIR RELIGION SERIOUSLY DO NOT WATCH “I LOVE JESUS”.

Summery/Plot Line of “I LOVE JESUS” Portrays Christians as Members of a Violent Death Cult. So You can see why the WARNING Above was Necessary, and if Not Now You will After Watching It. Enjoy.

And Now Our Second Featured Cartoon “i love jesus” Enjoy.

Hope You had a BLAST Watching This Delightful Double Dose of The Demented. Until Next Time remember Animation can be an Abomination Too.

Presented By Les Sober

Happy Holidays errrrrr maybe not so happy???

Here’s a Lost Post From The Vault.

First off before I tear a bunch of people new assholes, I would like to extend a wish for everyone that reads this (and well those don’t too, I can’t really help if you have poor taste and haven’t read my blog yet) to have a very happy holiday season. Even if holidays are not your thing and you hate gatherings and you hate people and you hate egg nog and you hate presents and you hate jesus, please have a happy something. Even if it is your miserable death.

Now on to bigger and brighter things. Ahhhhh the spirit of the holidays. For me this means seeing a bunch of relatives which I like and dislike to varying degrees. I can handle this. Some years I hide. Some years I show up. Some years I show up and hide by the punch bowl. Blah blah blah. If there was no holiday I would live.

But this blog is not about me. I’m done serving up my life on a fuckin’ hot plate. This is about the flaws of others. If I wanted to see my own I would take my bike down by the lake and stare at myself in the deep dark waters until I thought I could see the bottom or until my blue eyes became one with the mucky goose shit.

Repentance?

Repentance can be simply defined as regret. We could throw big holy words like salvation, pennance, forgiveness from sin, rosary, holy holy polka, crucifix, and Tammy Faye Baker into it but I’m not in one of those moods. We shall stick we regret for this one but one thing before I vanquish goddish words.

I’d like to give a shout out to Jesus. Happy birthday. Although we don’t have much in common other then we both like growing beards and working with wood (oh wait that was your dad, oh wait wrong kind of wood) I would like to say Happy Birthday. I’m not quite a Christian but a lot of people really love you so you are okay with me.

Now back to the show……

There has been a disturbing trend going recently with people I know. Between oh about Halloween and Thanksgiving a lot of people I know got all fat and happy. Chocolate here, disappearance there, cranberry here, asshole there.

Well these unnamed people (no I’m not talking about anyone in my friends list or any of my friends for that matter, there are plenty of blogs to talk about you people) have decided to try and turn in their asshole card. Perhaps this is because they are good christians or atheists or jews or good people in general. No I really do not think so.

They are looking for handouts. They are looking for a cheap gift or a cheap lay or a cheap moment of zen for their past transgressions. I’ve seen it happen on more then one occasion this time of year. I have seen it on many.

The holiday most of us celebrate is Christmas people!!! It’s not confessional booth. It’s not lets make everyone rush to my good side so that I can get laid when the ball drops. Maybe that’s it. Maybe they want to get it hard in the confessional booth. I’m not really sure.

I just do not understand why people need to wait for an opportune time in order to stop being jackasses. Why do we need a holiday to be nice to someone? Why do we need specific days prescribed to us to give to others? All holidays have become corporate at least there is some religious backing to these. Well I don’t know about Kwanzaa much.

Point being. Don’t be bought for Christmas. Don’t be bought for New Years. You may go to bed with Rudolph and his red nose under the Christmas tree but you may wake up with Pinochio and his long, growing nose firmly planted inside your ass and growing. Nobody wants that kind of sex. Then Giapeto is gonna walk in and ask you to pay a dowry.

No no no.

When people stop being total douches could someone please send me a memo? Oh no wait you are sending me a text message with some bull about Santa. Happy Holidays!!!!!!

By SpaceDog

Biblical Bewilderment: A Couple Questions for Christians.

I believe the Bible is a very good read, and recommend giving it a read.

I also DO NOT Believe that the Bible is in anyway a Religious Text.

I’m from the School of Thought that the Bible serves a Moral/Ethical Guide, a “How to Live a Good Life Manual” if you will. The Bible in My mind is an equivalent of Esop’s Fables for Adults. Thats to say each story while entertaining has a distinct and definite Moral/Ethical Lesson contained within.

I consider Myself a Spiritual Person rather than Religious. Not that there is anything wrong per say with Religion itself its when Man gets involved, and creates ORGANIZED RELIGION.

Organized Religion is a Bastardized form of Religion in which Man takes precedent over His God. So when it comes to Religious Texts/Training/Teachings/Education/Interpretation Man Himself dictates Organized Religion in His understanding NOT THE WORD of a God.

That aside I remain open minded to the Possibility of Christianity, BUT I have some pertinent questions for Currently Practicing Christians of ANY DENOMINATION.

Let US Begin.

Why is there a 800 year old gap between the Writing of the actual Bible and when it was first complete?

Some blame the Dominate and Ruling Roman Empire for being so Anti-Christian that they banned any Christian Religions Texts or Teachings.

This drove Christianity underground for a time, and the Partitioners had to hide in the shadows using an oral tradition to keep the Bible/Bible Stories/Teachings alive in this period of oppression.

I’m not debating this Roman Empire Oppression, BUT Why didn’t some Partitioners just move out of the Roman Empire, and Practice Christianity in Peace and free from prosecution.

And also have you ever played The Telephone Game then you know how distorted and twisted a single sentence can become in a matter of just a couple of minutes. Now imagine an Telephone Game that spanned 800 fucking years. See what I’m saying?!

Question Two How can Jesus who was a JEW (The Jewish Faith has suffered the most oppression and persecution for practicing Their Religion, and Christianity played a HUGE PART) somehow end up becoming the Savior of a completely different Religion?

I mean for example Buddhism didn’t commandeer say Muhammed from the Muslim Religion to use Him as Their Prophet, Leader or Messiah.

Question 3 How come the first half or The Old Testament of the Bible t(he Primary Christian Religion ) was written by Jews?

I wouldn’t attempt to take the first half of a Religious Text, and then rewrite the second half modeled on My particular and different Religion.

Question Four was addressed in The Kevin Smith’s movie Dogma. The question is once Jesus talked to the Angle Micheal, and was informed of Who He really is/ His purpose where did He disappear to for 30 years?

Jesus was approximately 8 years old when He learns His ultimate Fate, and then He vanishes for three fucking Decades only to return on the Bible as a full grown 38 year old man with NO EXPLANATION?

Question Five pertains to the Crucifixion or more over its Biblical Depiction. It is a fucking Scientific and Anatomically IMPOSSIBLE to Crucify a Person threw the Palms of the hand as show in countless Christian depictions of Jesus. Quite simply the weight of the Human body combined with Gravity would cause the Hands to tear in half.

Also Nailed person threw Their feet while they are placed one on top on the other is also completely impractical in the act of Crucifixion. More than likely the feet were secured by placing the victims feet on side of the Cross, and then nailed in place next to/around the ankle.

Question Six is of all the improbable Stories in the Bible We are supposed to believe Jesus DIED for 3 days only to Rise from the Dead as if to say “See They TOLD YOU I’m the Messiah!” before then ascending to Heaven?

Question Seven is how can Jesus be The Son of God while simultaneously being God as well. How do does a Father physically become His own Son? This is either a bad case of Schizophrenia or one of the most famous cases of Inbreeding ever recorded.

Question Eight is about the Christian Depiction of Jesus as a Pale White Man with or without a full beard, Blue Eyes, and long blonde hair? Its been Historically PROVEN if Jesus did in fact exist He would have been Mediterranean meaning He’d been a Person of Color with Brown Eyes and Black Hair.

And since We are on the subject of Christian’s version of Christ why when depicted on the Cross Jesus again personifies the epitome of what most people would consider quite attractive?

I mean He’s got a 6 pack of Abs, Not an ounce of body fat, and is Ripped long and lean like a fucking Professional Swimmer?

Question Nine is about Religious Relations. Since as aforementioned Jesus was Jewish, AND the First Half of The Bible was written by The Jews how the fuck do Christians Historically to Condemn/Dislike/Disparage/Prosecute/Criticize/Dismiss The Jewish Religion/The Jews?

Without Judaism Christians wouldn’t have Jesus as Their Messiah, and Only Half of a Bible? If anything it looks like to me that the Christians should be thanking the Jews for all the fucking Help by providing some founding of fundamentals of The Christian Faith.

Last Question is Number Ten. How is it The Jews according to Christians were the sole reason for They Crucification and Subsequent Murder of Their Messiah (aka Jesus)? Last time I checked it was THE ROMANS who condemned Jesus to Death by Crucifixion.

Now true The Romans had some assistance locating Jesus thanks to JESUS’S DESCIPLE JUDAS?

There is a Theory Juda’s last name which in the Bible is Iscariot is more than likely a corruption of the Latin Sicarius (defined as “Murderer” or “Assassin” which seems very fucking convenient considering the Story. Now Sicarius were a Jewish Group who were the most Radical and Fanatical Sect of Judaism.

This to Me seems WAY TO FUCKING CONVENIENT, and its as of now Judas’s last name debate is UTTERLY UNFOUND and is NOT an indisputable fact by Theologians. So Judas’s possible Last Name or a Variant is just a Hypothesis or in Lay Man its just a GUESS OR SOMEONE’S PERSONAL BELIEF.

Thanks for Reading By Les Sober

A Different Perspective On Peter Pan.

I think its safe to say we are all too familiar with the Children’s Fairytale of Peter Pan be it in Book Form or the Classic Children’s Movie. Now believe it or not there are several theories about what is exactly going on. That is there various Schools of Thought that delve deeper than Face Value.

Here is just 1 of those Alternate Theories:

This theory states that the Children visited by Peter Pan are in fact Dead.

Peter Pan is not a Fantastical Character, but The Angel of Death or a Grim Reaper for Children.

Peter Pan has come to take the Children from the real world to a place called Wonderland which is this scenario would be a Heaven (designed for Deceased Children) which is why No One in Wonderland ever gets old. Not to mention Never Never land is inhabited by only Children.

Opponents of this Theory Would Point Out Never Never Land is plagued by an Adult Pirate (Captain Hook), and his entire crew who are also Adults?

As for Captain Hook in this case would be Satan who attacks Never Never land in an attempt to steal the Children’s Souls.

Once Again The Opponents would question What about Captain Hooks Crew?

Now its true Captain Hook had a full crew of Loyal fellow Pirates who are representing The Damned Souls in Hell or Demons taking on a Human Form.

The Opponents are still not satisfied by this explanation of Peter Pan. They would continue to question, and the next (and last) question would be or is What about the Crocodile? The Crocodile while a Giant Reptile Carnivore who literally bit off Captain Hooks Hand isn’t a “Bad Guy”. The Crocodile never tries to hurt/eat any of the Children or Captain Hooks Crew, it solely wants only Captain Hook.

This in all do fairness is the thickest question posed against this particular interpretation of Peter Pan. Some People believe The Crocodile is an Angel sent by God to smite Captain Hook (aka The Devil). It is also thought The Crocodile is actually God, Jesus, or possibly The Holy Ghost.

I hold with those who think The Crocodile is Redemption. What if The Devil could not only be defeated what if He could be killed?! What Then? Would He just end up in Hell again or could He very well end up at The Pearly Gates resuming His previous job as The Right Hand Of God (thus redeeming Himself for his previous actions in the Eyes of God) ???

I concur with this concept, and I also believe the Clock that Ticks Ominously in the Belly of The Crocodile is a Reminder to Captain Hook that Time Heals All Wounds.

Thanks for Reading By Les Sober

Day Whatever THE FCK!!! Gay People Suck I’m Going BACK INTO THE CLOSET and Having a HOUSE PARTY!

Yes I am having a house party and I’m going back into the closet!!!!!

Why would one do such a thing???? Because shouldn’t I be marching in some parade next summer with my new 6 pack abs, my tan in a bottle glistening off my chiseled face, and my buttocks slightly showing it’s well formed, yet well used shape???? Because I am not like them……..ahhhhh………!!!!!!!!!!!!!FUCKADUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Should I expect any more by people who ask me what designers I wear, call me cub or bear when I’m larger or call me slut when all I’m doing is looking at someone to decide if I could possibly be attracted to them (or if I’m just doing a deathstare to figure out why I’m doing the deathstare)? By the way sorry to the guy I’ve been deathstaring at the gym, I know there are plenty of better guys to stare at but for some reason you have won the deathstare…. Enjoy it’s a privilege, not a right. 🙂

I guess I just don’t relate. I will never be one of those people that can just live in one world or the other. I live in the real world, reality, whatever you want to call it. The only time I really leave that place is when I’m drunk. If most people went to say Cabo San Lucas when they drink, I’d have to say I go to an underground prison probably in either Siberia or China. Somewhere in that next of the woods……

So maybe my expectations are too high??? Maybe it’s only like one of 100 gay people who would answer the question, “What shows have you seen lately?”, with a band or two and not have Liza Manilli included in the answer. Maybe I’m the one who is flawed, who doesn’t really see the point of gay pride parades, doesn’t watch a show obsessively because it features gay people in their various worry lines, or doesn’t have a little random flag on the back of their car (although if the lesbian didn’t take all the clever bumper stickers i may have one, but I think some random fag shoved it up his ass)…..

Anyway my expectations are not too high. They really do not even exist. I just know for some reason that I do not relate to very many gay people. I like GOOD music, not crap. I like sports, mainly baseball and football, which is two more sports then everyone but the lesbians…..I don’t parade myself around. I think I’m a homophobe.

Is that even possible? A gay homophobe? Well if it is I guess I’m the closest thing there is to one. I really do kind of live on my own plane of existence or planet or whatever the fuck you call it. For those of you that say I just need to get laid or have a drink and get over it, I’ll fuck your mom, key your car, and tie you to your bedpost and make you watch Cats for a week straight.

“Oh no I said straight. They are coming to take my gay card. Quick hide in the closet!!! Do it like Anne Frank…..and be as quiet as Helen Keller.”

“OK if they come just queff your vag, that will distract them.”

“Oh no but what I just exfoliated. What if they take my gay card give it back then want to fuck? Then what the fucknations do I do??? Wait, quick I know strap that dildo on and distract them with that while I sneak out the back. NO NO NO. They’ll be lookin’ to do me in the back. I need to hit it in the front!!!!!!”

———————————-

Kegs of beer for one for all
Bra straps like to tumble and fall
Neotrails blaze into the night
Choose the forsaken
Amen need church need jesus
Fuck that man I ain’t that uptight

Lalalalala. So ummmm can I possibly be a homophobe? I once hung out with Neonazis but I was like 16 and dumb and for some reason they didnt kill me….. Dur durrrr durrr dur dur…..

By SpaceDog

ITS 11:56 WTF Do They Want of Me?!

Sorry no pictures, this is what the fuck it is and nothing more. I have adapted a Vikingistic (not a real word but damn well fucking should be.) view of things. I digress as you can read all bout that shit tomorrow.

Its not a matter of IF My shitty Heart kills me, thats a fucking Granted its only a matter of When. Fuck I could be dead by the time your read this, or well dead by the time ANYONE sees this.

I’m intoxicated and insane, fuck is this all about, and fuck do they want?! All these fucking people most of whom I have no fucking clue who they are keeping calling. Calling to Collect, Calling to Verify, Calling to Solicit some shit.

They want to continue the game of Fuck Me Frankenstein and Add more shit to compensate for the Bum Fucking Ticker. Its for Insurance purposes They Assure Me. Assure Me of What? My Fucking Death.

They pump me full of Pills, Restrictions, Regulations, The inevitable Rules.

Fuck That. The shit I’ve seen, the Shit I’ve Done, this shit should be NO FUCKING SURPRISE.

They say what doesn’t KILL YOU make You Stronger. My Question why is all this shit trying to kill me? Fucking A. I’m NO SAINT, but fuck Me. If you believe in Karma and I for one Do We can all safely assume I was motherfucking Hitler in my last life. My life is dodging or dealing with infinite SHIT STORMS.

I’m not a Gambling Man, BUT if I have to bet on my fucking Life, yeah I’m fucking going to try and Rig the Deck for all its fucking worth. Don’t Get Me Wrong, BUT I have my conditions like Jesus in the Electric Chair.

I’ll do Anything as well as Its On My Terms.

Fuck. Sorry No Pictures.

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober.

Varieties of Pain

I am writing this blog about pain not because I am feeling creative but I am in pain. All I will say about that is knee and tooth pain. Unfortunately (or fortunately for those of you who like my blogs) these, I think, are two of the worst places to have it. I meaning eating and walking are two things most people (other then Terri Schiavo) have to do every damn day.
OK so on to the good shit.

The types of pain

I’m really just going to go with three types of pain, since the three things I’m about to say would pretty much cover anything you are going through unless you want to be an asshole and try to make categories into subcategories You know who you are you are the dumb asses who say Australia is not a continent it’s just an island or antarctica is not a continenet cuz no one lives there.

So there is emotional pain. This one is pretty boring and can usually be resolved with enough liquor and either a few quick and fast lays or 6 hours of venting while drunk as hell. You pick your poison. Are you old school Madonna (spreading it like a virgin) or are you Celine Dion (spreading it for your manager who is like 50 and you are 14)?

Physically pain is pretty boring too. I think, personally, the worst pain (other then detoxing off drugs) that someone can go through is tooth pain. I am not really taking into account childbirth because that is like expected pain. I mean duh you are gonna be in pain, that’s not why you got knocked the hell up but bloody yes you did so if you go on talking for 3 bloody weeks about it, well then yes golly jeez we don’t care anymore. Send us some pic of your retard kid on an xmas card and shut up, that’s what normal people do,

Then HOLY JESUS yes.

There is spiritual pain. I do not know a whole lot about this in the traditional sense of the word, however I have been known to do a bit of Santeria in my day (I still freakin love it when they look at me like I’m a crazy white person in their store) Ha lets just say I’ve had one really successful spell and a mirade of ones that didn’t go so good. Well I don’t believe that’s what is causing my physical pain but you never know.

CONCLUSIONAY

Anyhoo, I have been wanting to write more. I have soooo many topics in my head to write just about anything however this pain is keeping me away from just about everything in the world. 🙂

But look yes I still smile, yes I still try to live and yes my ass needs to see the doctor, but I am really really lazy and dont like surgery. lol.By SpaceDog

Enjoy the Silence?

Silence is cherished by many people in this world. Personally I cannot handle it one iota whatsoever. That awkward silence when you meet someone new and realize they completely suck balls. When there is nothing more to say, nothing more to do. When you try and make small talk with someone (which I hardly ever do) and they give you that dumbfounded look or just a nod of the head.

Even in non-social situations I absolutely cannot stand it. I suppose I like the song Silent Night, but truth be told, the only holy nights I am having these years involves far different holes then the original song and mainly mine getting penetrated. I can grow a very poor beard so I’m definitely not Jesusy in the least unless you prescribe to the theory he was a homo.

I more or less go with the Trump theory. Jesus is fake news.

Silence is meant for death. Now that also does not mean I want you to never shut the fuck up either. Those people have a special place in hell and hopefully are not very chaste because a dick in their mouth is pretty much the only thing that will ever get them to be quiet. I’d prefer it be a nasty dick maybe they will get some disease of the mouth, but nothing fatal, I mean I’m not a total bitch. Most STDs have cures these days.

I cannot wake up in the morning without hearing some kind of music within the first 5 minutes of being awake. If it even takes that long. Today it took longer. I got into a massive fight with Alexa. She can be a real fickle bitch at times. After about 5 tries of having her fail miserable, she got thrown across the room. She is okay and said she will not press charges, so I am quite the happy camper. She really just do not seem to like my using my Spotify or playing music anywhere except out of her sorry ass speaker. At least she beat boxes better then me.

When I try and read something I have a real lot of difficulty doing so when there is silence. I mean I cannot listen to metal and read though I haven’t really tried. Quite possibly with some pussy hair metal garbage from the 80s I could but legit death metal would put me to the test. Honestly the more layers, instruments, words that are not screams, the better.

I feel a bit odd that I can do this. It’s probably not exactly normal reading and listening to music. I also tend to have a whiteboard by me at the same moment, jotting down randomness. It’s the exact moment I wish I had some kind of music talent as well but maybe I will tap into that some day as well. Because even though I am no longer a teenager, when someone says no you can’t do that to me, all I hear is a big resounding “Yes.”

Silence when shopping is one of the worst things in the world too. Seriously if I do not have my earbuds with me at the store when I’m there alone, I will turn around and the shopping will happen another day. I don’t want to hear your child, your musak, your rascal shooter, or about your hard ass day. Just stop,stop, stop!!!!

Maybe this is the millennial side of me. I’m kinda like a frosted mini wheat generationally speaking. I think the proper term for it according to the internet is the AOL generation. I prefer to think of myself as generation fuck you. As in most of the time you are more then likely an idiot and while I really want to tell you to go fuck yourself, I will show restraint but only because the Jameson hasn’t paid me a visit yet.

So now I will sleep with the music blaring, reading a book by the candlelight, and with the TV on with close captioning so just in case I happen to sneeze I will have something to keep me busy for those 5.9 seconds it takes me to blow my nose. Please silence stay away.

By SpaceDog

Dear Me Oh My Shut The Fuck Up Already!!! By Spacedog

Life is about many things to many different people. Family, friends, money, health, wealth…. the list is endless. Each means something different to us. Some mean nothing at all.

Then there is the other end of the spectrum. Our vices. The sex, drugs and rock&roll part of our brains. Everyone has one or ten or hundreds. I tend to gravitate towards the higher end of the spectrum. I’m not sure if I could list 100 vices off the top of my head but if I could I would easily be into more than half of them.

Not that I do them every day or really all that often at all. The worst things I probably do on a daily basis is smoking cigarettes. Everything else is merely on an as wanted schedule. Sometimes there is discipline involved. Other times it is just complete debauchery and out of control.

Age has mellowed me somewhat though. Instead of indulging way too frequently like in my 20s, I usually just get angry now at certain things on my television set and in the real world.

First of all, ANY AND ALL anti commercials really need to get the FUCK off my television. Tell me to quit smoking while I have a nicotine patch on and haven’t thought about a cigarette in 3 days and well I got the subconscious thought to go out and buy a pack. Tell me not to drink and drive and I then am thinking about whether I should get drunk tonight.

Fortunately one such thing I have grown out of is trying that one random drug or ten. Most of the unknown drugs I tried I heard about on the evening or nightly local news. I get that these news types think that no druggies are watching their programs because obviously how could they possibly be interested in anything other than drugs. All promoted under the guise of protect the children which leads me to the next point.

FUCK THE KIDS! Not like Michael Jackson fuck or like Ray Rice fuck the kids in the face. I always hear about stupid shit to protect the children. I can’t go buy a pack of ten cigarettes because of oh the children. The children. Yet I can buy an airline bottle of alcohol, a single bullet of ammo, a nickle bag of weed (yes they still exist), or a small amount of pretty much anything else considered a vice.

Some states are incredibly ridiculous with the save the children crap. Hawaii just passed a law making the smoking age 21 and New Jersey just attempted to do the same. So you can serve and die in the military and potentially die at any moment yet you can’t go on the 30-50 year death sentence known as nicotine. They need to chill out. New Jersey is even worse. They want kids to drive around with a sticker on the back of the car if under 21 and not have them drive after certain hours. Now I know I said fuck the kids but while that would stop me from well fucking kids or buying someone underage alcohol, it only means one thing. The cops get to fuck the kids. I don’t want to fuck them like that hard, unless they are in college and sex with someone potentially that inexperienced is like A Tale of Two Cities. The best of times, the worst of times.

So I’m kinda drifting like a butterfly. I really should have wrote this earlier in the day when I was just raging mad. I got a call from a friend after I left an angry voicemail about Sprint sucking fat donkey balls. I can’t roll around and listen to Spotify with them and the several phone calls I do make a week well sadly unless I call people at midnight they drop like an 80 year old’s nutsack.

So I bitched and then she said don’t drink tonight. Not that it was any of her business what the fuck I am doing later on. I really had not even given getting drunk tonight even a glance. It all goes back to do not tell me what I should not do. If you want to give me something positive to do by all means just do not tell me what not to do.

It is the reason I also have total beef with any of those absolutely fucking retarded anonymous programs. I have been to many and will be going to many again soon as part of my undercover look into boring myself into a bottle of rum. Let’s sit around and rehash old stories and bitch and whine and moan and talk about Jesus.

I seriously had issues with alcohol in the past and would be chill with well just not drinking. It makes me fat and severely obsessive. No thank you. Yet through AA I can honestly say the only thing positive I ever got out of it was roughly 10 blow jobs. Other then my 12 pack of Miller Lite cure for the common cold I had not touched a drop for over a month. (Save your fucking medal and clapping.) I only thought about it twice before I got sick. Yet in an average AA meeting alcohol is brought up 20-40 times depending on the type of meeting. Whatever happened to out of sight, out of mind? I guess stupidity won this ballgame.

So I think my beef has run out for this evening. If I typed every vice related issue I want to address, I would never leave this seat. So what exactly gets on your last nerves? Or who would you like to tell to go fuck themselves?

Sexual Ambiguity By Spacedog

Subject Contradictions:
He takes his coat off as he slowly enters the room. A swift, precise glance of the inhabitants reveals copious laughter but their smiles are nylon. This is unamusing to him so he creeps out the back door.

He sees a child drop an ice cream cone and begin to cry.

He sees a parapelegic ringing her little bell and sitting on the sidewalk. He wonders where her wheelchair went?

He hears a train whistle but sees no tracks.

He steps in a big wad of horse shit and walks with a more pronounced anger.

Walking further down the narrow roadway, he spots a man and woman arm in arm. Every four steps or so the woman takes she gazes a loving glance at this man. The man gazes back at her but in the exact moment she looks away, he lustfully gazes at the ass of the man in front of them.

He walks down the street and wonders when his chance will be. When he will be the ass that they gaze upon. He’s a virgin though and waiting for marriage. Then he remembers that he is gay.

Wait! We can’t marry!

So he decides to take matters into his own hands. He turns around abruptly. He takes off his shirt. He is cold and his nipples harden, among other things. He walks back into the room.

I need something acceptable, he thinks. He turns his nose to the air. He smells alcohol, roses, and faint scents of sex. He walks towards those of course. He realizes it is darker in the corner of the room. Someone motions him into a doorway.

He enters the room.

Twenty minutes later…….

He’s no longer a virgin. He goes home.

Believe it or not there is a point to the story. It really has nothing to do with sex but sex gets people’s attention for the most part. All the things which are “forbidden” to us when we are children do. Sex, drugs, alcohol, crime, purposefully hurting others.

I have dabbled into all of the above. A lot of them quite often. Never all of them at the same time. You grow out of one bad habit and there is always another. We all have them. If we are defined by them and ruled by them therein lies the problem.

So I don’t care what people do in their own time. Each of the things I mentioned above have their risks and their rewards. As adults we know what they are. We still do them though. We have sex until we get the HIV or anally seep or walk a little funny. We do drugs until we have no more veins or no more teeth. We drink alcohol til we need a liver transplant and then we get a new liver and drink some more. We evade taxes, invade minors, and jaywalk. We hurt others and then we are hurt and then they are hurt and it goes around in one big limitless circle like Simba and his fuckin pathetic Circle of Life.

Then we go to church and we pray and put on our Easter bonnets and some of go home and celebrate Jesus and some the Cadburry bunny, while others still just go off and celebrate their birthday suits together. One big happy family.

Then we go feed the homeless. Then we hop a train to the city in the clothing we just bought at the Salvation Army and go panhandle.

After that we pick up our grandmother to go to bingo. She sits there contently. Dabber in one arm, flask in the other, bible in her purse. She sees another 70 year old man there, one with all his teeth, and promptly leaves you to dab balls by yourself. Apparently grandma knows a lot more about balls then you thought.

It never ends. It is eternal, it is disturbing but it’s not. We all do it. Extreme or miniscule. It exists.

“This is the biggest mistake I could think would save me. I wanted to give up the idea I had any control. Shake things up. To be saved by chaos. To see if I could cope, I wanted to force myself to grow again. To explode my comfort zone.” -Chuck Palahniuk

I have so been there. Ripping myself apart just so I could see myself bleed and try to fix things. That’s human.

And that’s why even though people are flawed to a repulsive extent, they deserve a chance in my book. Otherwise we would all be sitting alone by ourselves in caves, fleshlight in one hand (ummmm i guess dildos for all the bottoms and women out there) and a bottle of whiskey in the other. 🙂