From The Frying Pan into The Fire: Life Working in f-yourblog’s R&D Department

To Our Loyal Readers I feel I owe you an explanation. I wrote a Post way back when that stated f-yourblog’s mission and creative process, but like all things evolution will prevail.

One of the various reasons f-yourblog has been a bit of a neglected child is there are intact several different projects We have in the works. With so many pokers in the fucking fire time management has always been the key, and I have a flawed concept of time.

I act mainly as Creative Content and consement Idea Man. I rarely have a single fucking clue how to pull off any of my grandiose ideas. I’m basically broke, Tech Inept, and have little patience for technology which I have come to utilize as well as despise. Evolution like I said is unstoppable.

I chosen method of learning seems to be the trade and true “Trial By Fire” school of thought. I also can get easily distracted by working on numerous projects so in the immediate future I will be delegating much more responsibility.This is so I can devote my total time and attention to one project at a time which is what they deserve.

I decided it be simple enough to give our Readers a brief peak behind the preverbal curtain as it were. Here are a few of Our ongoing projects.

  1. We are furthest to completion with Our “2 Guys Talking Shit” Podcast showcasing the insane thoughts of SpaceDog, Les Sober, and Friends as the discuss all the mayhem and madness in their minds in Real Time.

2. Our current Book in the works Global Graffiti : A Retrospective in Street Art as I mentioned in Our last Post is a Pictorial Collection of Graffiti from/found around the World. Graffiti has become an essential and integral part of evolving Global Societies serving as both Art and as a Current Social Compass. Graffiti is the Underdog of the Art World (and who thought the pretentious Art assholes could shit on anything more than they shit on Photography?!!), AND I FOR ONE LOVE UNDERDOGS.

3. We are close to establishing a Cross/Dual Promotion with Our dear Friends over at N@P who are incredible Artists in their own right. Some of N@P’s digitally altered Photographic Graphics have already been feature in 2 of f-yourblog’s previous posts recently.

4. We are entertaining doing a Vlog type scenario to accompany Our soon to be released Podcast where Fans would go from Readers, to Listeners, and then end up as Viewers (Evolution Again). Essentially it would be a video of Us all while we abound into obscene absurdity thats guaranteed to Entertain as much as it Offends.

I’m not so sure about this idea because I’m paranoid when it comes to technology (internet/social media) when it comes to my privacy. Also I think the idea of just using a disguise be it a Mask or Make-up etc. is a bit cliche, BUT really if one goes the hidden anonymity route via a disguise its not as easy as one would think.

A good disguise is a true art form because any asshole got put on a mask or lather themselves up in fucking face paint.

5.  Perverse Pictures is the Indie Movie company thats in its infancy. I have always been a prolifically rabid movie fan since I was fucking born. I also am a Great Admirer of Lloyd Kauffman and Troma Pictures who have been dealing in Independent Film for literally as long as I have been Alive.

Also as of recently (sometime last year) became an admirer of the New Cult Classic “The Room” and its infamously mysterious, intriguing, and passionate Writer/Director/Star Tommy Wiseau.

I dream is to one day to collaborate with both Mr. Kauffman and The Troma Team, and Mr.Tommy Wiseau one day. It be fucking unbelievably grand.

(Above On Left Tommy Wiseau / On Right Lloyd Kauffman w/ The Toxic Avenger)

The 2 Films We have in the Works are:

“The Cannibalistic Cocaine Cartel” by Justin Sane – See What Happens when Criminals and Cannibals Go Hand in Mouth.

“Shoot My Face Off I Like It” a Documentary by Your’s Truly focusing on the Video Game of Urban Legends.

6. Revenge Records is a label I’m establishing as a Home for the Wayward Unconventional or Unorthodox Indie Acts. Lets face it the Big Lables are all but fucking Dead to begin with. Youtube reigns as the New Agent that represents ANYONE from ANYWHERE around the World.

The only issue with Youtube is its 2018 and it/the market is FLOODED with Millions of Posts in a single fucking day. They grossly outnumber talented Acts/People and they drown in a Sea of Mediocrity obscured by the mundane. It was easy in the beginning when there were only a few thousand videos a person could view., but Justin Bieber blew up Youtube, and every idiot came running.

This makes Independent Record labels more vital than ever as the Mediators for the transition from The Old School Ways to The New School Methods.

7. The Lost Souls Studios goes hand in hand with Revenge Records because whats the point of being a Record Label and paying some outside asshole for the use of their recording facilities. If you make Records then you need a place to Record so it just seems blatantly obvious that you should posses your own Studio. Its a “If you want it done right do it Yourself” meets “Why pay for something you can do Yourself”.

Lost Souls isn’t just for Musicians. You want to do Spoken Word, Record Reading a Book, Recording a final Will and Testament, Hell I don’t care if you want to record yourself taking a 7 hour shit if you think theres Artistic Value to it.

Lost Souls will also serve to benefit Perverse Pictures as most if not all Indie movies have to come up with or write their own soundtrack because Royalties are absolutely fucking outrageous. And again it helps if you own your own Studio.

8. Finally We have Ponder This Productions. This again will Aid in Lost Souls Records as well as Perverse Pictures. I chose the name because I believe in shit, art included, that makes you HAVE TO THINK. You want 2 hours of mindless so called entertainment go see a Micheal Bay CGI shitshow. The sign of a good Movie or Song to me is the same. If I see it or hear it AND then find myself thinking about it the next day I’m hooked.

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober  

Textpocalypse

More middle of the night synaptic storms rolling through the maze like minds of SpaceDog and Myself. Here is the abominable textversation that took place while the rest of the World Slept.

Enjoy.

(If you Read Further You May Have to EAT your own ASS to Survive.)

SpcaeDog: I wanted to ask you about sports bets but im clearly not being too persistent since you dont like sports

Les: Hey let me hit you up in a few. At post office trying to get my passassport updated and shit. Taking waaaaay too long in my opinion. I find Sports betting very interesting.

SpaceDog: Look at u ihop hooker I will be ur bookie lmfao

+SpaceDog texts me a picture on images.google of a Tennis Player who ass he is a fan of, and was wondering if I or my Wife had 2 cents to add. I said if I had an ass like that I’d be better at soccer. My Wife is not an “Ass Person” we were informed.+

+I sent back a Screen Shot I took of Twitter’s fucking Template Warning that my account had been locked, and because I “exhibited unusual behavior that violates Twitter Rules……”+

+I then sent a picture of Alex “Asshole” Jones because while all other social media platforms (i.e. FaceBook, Apple etc) banned Alex and his bullshit Infowhores Show (for promoting hate, encouraging violence, promoting fake news, spreading conspiracies like Sandy Hook was a Hoax and the Kids weren’t victim’s they were paid child actors) Twitter refused at that point to Ban Jones.

Ironically since then Twitter has banned Jones from Twitter and Periscope which it owns, ONLY AFTER ALEX HARASSED THE HOLY LOVING SHIT out of  Twitter’s CEO Jack Dorsey outside of the Senate Hearing  proceedings screaming shit like the mental patient he is about whatever bullshit was on his deranged mind.+

Fuck Alex “The Asshole Jerk Off” Jones, BACK TO THE MAFUCKIN TWEETS!

SpaceDog: Here’s a song for you! My My My! by Troyne Sivian. (SD then texted a Spotify Link to the song) Mac Miller died omg

Les: So did Burt Reynolds any relation to Ryan?! Who’s Mac Miller? Charging Landline, cell is cutting in and out like a bitch.

SpaceDog: Mac Miller omg lol there was gonna be a link but yolo lol

Les: I have all of his albums downloaded on my Spotify Account. 26.

SpaceDog: Yo i need to ask u who just drove me around here lol

Les: Yo Shorty yo knows who dat

SpaceDog: U knows my piece

Les: I been break dancing old school 80’s as a tribute to Mac Miller

SpaceDog: U know it might not be that bad. you were the best i ever had

Les: The Wallflowers yeah?

SpaceDog: Lmfao good man

Les: JACOB “SPERM OF BOB” DILLIAN (Dylan?) Whatever.

SPaceDog: Sperm of the last rock n roll mouth that had a good cock come out. Call job away.

+SpaceDog then texts me a picture of Frosty The Snowman sitting on a couch watching porn, and jerking off. It said “Dreaming of a White Christmas”+

+I then texted SpaceDog This: +

SpaceDog: Sry I hit wrong hate.

+I responded by sending SpaceDog a GIF of an Old Pissed Off Cartoon Man, Naked, Partially Flying-Partially Humping his way through Space with a Pop Tart covering his Junk and a Rainbow Shooting Continuously Shooting out of his ass.+

(NOTE TO READER: Earlier on in the evening during a phone call with SpaceDog I had mentioned some weird shit about when I turn 80 I’m going to automatically Gay.)

Les: Me at 80 and Gay as FUCK.

SpaceDog: Lol holy shit shit

Les: I had to buy this shit called Itchibon Ball Baum cuz I was shitting in the Woods, and my Ball Bag rubbed up against some poison Oak. Greeeeaaaaseeeeyyyy.

SpaceDog: Xid rt y. Urdy. Dirty Birdy lol.  Id love to write an f-yourblog about racial bullshit but idc because he white and been dead to me for 10 yeses.

Les: So fucking what about it? I’m confused as fuck currently. When I was shitting in the Woods a Group of Ticks crawled up my Ass Crack and started feeding by locking onto my Asshole. I had to floss my ass with a Pet Anti-Flea and Tick Collar.

SpaceDog: Ihj my my my

Less: Like a fucking Pesticide G String or some fucked up shit like that!

SpaceDog: Here’s a song for you…My My My! by Troye Sivan (SpaceDog texts me the Spotify link again)

Les: Got Chemical Burns on my goddamn butthole.

SpaceDog: Whyis tour. Utthile top 10 (SpaceDOg then texts a screen shot from Spotify’s screen for Sivan’s My My My)

Les: Sexy Shit. Gave me a boner, I’m gay now.

SpaceDog: oh babe sned me a forever stiff latex cocks its what us lesbos have. Lol huh?

Les: So Good, FO SHO FO SHO

SpaceDog: Oh have the gay i will have the cock

Les: FUCKING SPORTS! GO GAMECOCKS or just GO COCKS!

SpaceDog: The only games you Sout Cacalacy  know are the ones your cock play with ur anus. Go Auburn. ok danny boy haha

Les: Why are Chaos Magicians Such Assholes? Goddamn Google has an entry that fucking literally says that shit. WTF now Internet WTF NOW?!

+I then texted SpaceDog a Picture of a close up of some Woman lifting her skirt with a smiling Justin Beiber face covering her Vagina that reads “Justin Beaver+

SpaceDog: The only woman that hate u sing so lets swim into the show of ivy and let our rel3vquce ring.

Les: Justin Bieber bangs Bovines dirty Cow Fucker

SpaceDog: Thats it my boy thats it my friend we sing this song to ivy she falls to her end.

Les: S-A-V-A-G-E …Ivy what?!

SpaceDog: I tried to call with these words to see if your ivied face had been preserved but you werent my lover not my friend she’d killed you lil your dead heart bled.

Les: Rad

SpaceDog:Oh the south she bleeds icy gets at her kneeeeeees

Les: LmMfao!

SpaceDog: Song just crazy. Raised by far and praise by 5A breeze by 5555555 a brace by for a for Raid 5 hey Girl. Sorry our butter and our jam is getting confused i just my putang tout u in the rouse.

Hey u want a q better choice. Bye. I hope u like your life lol wherever he stands our truth is ib my text. Mohammed my friend my bot and jbow jt eas a girl…vack in Bethlehem bye love.

Les: I’m so using this shit as a blog post coming up soon for fucking sure. Abortions all Around. Muhammad is a Bot LMFBO! CLASSIC!

SpaceDog: Its a sham

Les: Sham Wow?

SpaceDog: Shaw wow cocaine teenage dream. Brooklynn bo ram Botox baby boom boomer. No seems….

#This is the point in the textversation where I think its safe to assume our Dear Friend and My Partner in Crime more than likely passed out.

My brain was still on fire so I just continued on.

Les:Sham Wow Hookers AND Cocaine Baby! The Ball Baum came in contact with the Chemical Burns on my butthole ant it spontaneously Combusted, and now I have 3rd degree burns on my asshole.

Ancient Chinese Proverb: Man who sleeps with itchy ass wakes up with stinky finger.

A round of Finger Fucking for All. Can you fuck a Prolapsed asshole because that shit should be a fucking porn fetish/YouPorn Category. WTF is up with this Docking shit anyways?!

I was wiping my ass and my finger broke through the toilet paper and the tip of my finger grazed my asshole, does that make me gay?!

If your gay and horny and there only women around why not just fuck one in the ass?!

Is Necro Cannibalism better or worse than Necrophilia?! For NEcrophiliacs are Zombies a Deal Breaker?! Just when it comes to NEcrophiliacs the Deader the Better right. Zombie Babies don’t want to suckle your teat they want to EAT IT.

Giving Birth is like the fucking movie “Aliens” a small, bloody, slime covered living creature tears out of your genitals screaming like a son of a bitch. But worse because of the whole genitals over stomach shit.

If I’m Self Employed can I sue myself for Sexual Harassment?! What if you got a restraining order against yourself, I mean how would that shit work exactly I ask you?!

AT this point I was running on intoxicated fumes and quite texting in favor of Smoking Weed and then Sleep.

Brought to You By,

Les Sober & SpaceDog 

Madness Beyond Midnight: Les Unleashes Atomic Text Bomb

 

I’m not a morning person, nor am I an Afternoon person. I am the typical Night Owl exemplified a thousand fold. I get my so called second wind around 10:30-11:00pm and by say 2 am I’m up and running firing on all cylinders.

I have a tendency to text bomb Spacedog since he doesn’t mind fielding an avalanche of texts at all hours of the night, and more importantly Spacedog is one of the very few people I can write/text/say anything to. Thus I text the most extremely perverted, obscene, Absurd, Foul, Offensive, Insulting, Outrageous, Raunchy, Demented, Insanely Crazy, Controversial, Unorthodox, and “WTF” texts his way.

Last Night was no acceptation. The following are texts I sent to Spacedog starting at 1:49am with the last text sent around 3:00am.

1:49am The Insanity Ensues:

My Feet Wreak Of Scotch

It was actually a decent dinner party until Eric tickled Theresa’s twat, and one of his sausage fingers slipped through her beef curtains ending up knuckle deep in her happy humping hole. At that point we were all kicked the hell out drunk as drunk can be into the nefarious night.

Bollywood has an emerging Pornography industry that has actual 4 hour long fucking musical orgies of Singing, Sexing, Dancing & Dicking with the Super Slutty Cunny Sutra.

My New Favorite Insult: “Go Fucking Fist Yourself” or “Go Fist Fuck Your Face”

Karl got his cock cut off down at the Slimy Sausage Packaging Plant by humping on a Industrial Disemboweling-Internal Organ Processing Machine.

“DAMN THESE ELECTRIC SEX PANTS!”

Masa Clitty world renowned Scottish Folk Singer and Exquisite Anal Gaping Artist

Look Into The Eye Of My Ass To See What Shit IS Going Down.

Feel the Wrath of a Drunk Skunk Rage Humping Your Leg and Cumming on your socks for Spite.

Over Time How Far Do Vaginal Lips Sag as they head South?!

I’m suffering the onset symptoms of Saggy Senior Scrotum Aging Disorder, so I scheduled an appointment to Botox my Balls Tomorrow at 5:30 the AMs

Phil was a generally smart motherfucker who was killed by a Cannibal when he mistakenly told the Cannibal to “Eat My Ass”

The Young Cocksman Vs. The Salty Yogurt Singers for the Best New Porno Punk Rock Group 2017

If He Be a She and She Be a He then aren’t we just back where we started?!

New Porn Title: Licking Lot Lizards: The Trucker Fucker Union

Boner Toner For All Your Porn Star Needs.

I’m not giving coal to the people I deem to have been naughty this year. Instead I will be giving them 3 Pounds of Unwashed Wild Pif Pubes.

Sci Fi Porn is just Fucking With Phasers.

SciFi Pornos: All Alien Anal 11

HOLY ANAL GAPING GOPHERS BATMAN!

Can Drag Queens hide their Balls by sticking them in their butts?!

Justin Bieber’s Man Beaver

My New Death Metal Punk Band is Called THE MANGLED MANGINAS

Get It Up, Get It In, Get It Off, and Get It Out

They be Swank Fucking Fancy.

TODAY AT 5:56am Text From Spacedog

Hi. New Blog? Lol

Thanks for Das READ,

Les Sober