Tag: learning experience

My First Slumber Party

Welcome to Another Monday Post here at FYB featuring MY FIRST SLUMBER PARTY By One of Our Favorite Creative Artists MeatCanyon.

Sleepovers are one of the Strangest Rites go Passage for a Kid if You think about it. You make Friends at School, then Hangout at Each other’s Houses, and then the Almost Inevitable Sleepover. It’s such an Awkward Dynamic because once Night Falls You realize You have to Deal with Your Friend’s Adult Parents. To make things Feel even Uneasier You’re a Child who now must Communicate with Bigger and Smarter Adults (who have Temporary Authority and Control over You) without the Benefits of Your Parents acting as Your Amateur Ambassador. The Surreal part is You’re in Familiar Surroundings, but in the Context of a Sleepover They Suddenly Seem Utterly Alien at the Same Time. Then to Top off the Whole Bizarreness of it All You wake up in the Middle of the Night to take a Leak, and the Once Nondescript Hallway is Now Hauntingly Silent and Cloaked in Shadow. By the Time You get Home the Next Day You feel as if You just came back from a Foreign Country that just so Happened to be Ruled by Your Friends Parents.

MeatCanyon’s real name is Hunter August Hancock better know by his online user name MeatCanyon. Hancock is an American Youtuber, animator, voice actor, comedian, writer, and director who makes parody animations of popular characters (say Sponge Bob for instance). Some viewers of MeatCanyon’s animations  have been described them in just one single word “Horrifying”. A common on going gag in Hancock’s video’s is that something normal or mundane gets you killed or possible worse.

PLOT: An Eight Year Old MeatCanyon has a Rather Creepy Experience during His First Sleep Over at His Buddy Luke’s House involving Banana’s, Religion, Pokemon Cards, and His Friend’s Apparently Sociopath of a Father.

Enjoy.

Thanks For Watching,

   Presented By Les Sober

An FYB Quickie: Lies, Deception, and Doctors

This is simply a Question that has been Eating at Me for the last couple of Months, and I’m not honestly know exactly Why. So in Situations like this the Failsafe Remedy is to Express the Though to Exorcise the Damnable Thoughts from the Inside of My Insanity.

The the Question at Hand that Torments My Mind is this:

Why the hell would Someone LIE to their Doctor?!

Don’t get Me wrong I have, Do, and Will Lie thats just a fucking fact of Life, and being fucking Human Being unfortunately. I fully understand that there are times One Lie’s such as Dealing with Cops (fucking Nazi Pig Fuckers), To a Boss about Why You Need Off or Were Late, Your Family when You Don’t want to hear Their Opinion, and Other sticky situations.

        

I am also Aware of use of White Lies which are Lies that Benefit the Greater Good, and used to for such things as Protecting Another’s feelings.

Now with that all said WHY of All the Assholes and Reasons that People Lie would Someone Lie to Their Doctor?!

I mean I get it NO ONE wants to be Bitched At, Scolded, or Lectured about all the shit People are instructed to do, BUT DON’T such as Adhering to a Healthier Diet, Exercise More, and Follow Doctor’s Orders pertaining to Your Wealth and Well Being.

       

Thats sort of where My point lies in that Doctor’s cn be a huge fucking Pain in the Ass, They can be Condescending/Cold/Egotistical/Unrealistic and so On. And again No One likes being Called Out on Their Shit and I don’t Either for that matter. I also know Doctor’s and What They Say or Recommend can be down right Scary as fuck When it comes To Shit like to MAJOR Diagnostic Testing, Hospitalization, and Surgery.

I Myself have had 3 Surgeries, Several Hospitalizations, and Tons of Tests that could bear Horrific Result like Cancer or Aides or Some Other Life Altering Shit, and had 4-5 Surgical Procedures AKA Same Day Surgeries (the Ones that Don’t Require a Stay in s Hospital. It Sucked Each and Every fucking Time I assure You. They weren’t fucking fun thats For Sure, BUT I’m still Alive and Kicking so thats the Reality of it.

       

What’s true Purpose of Someone LYING to Their Doctor exactly thats what I Wonder. You may avoid getting Lectured or Reprimanded by Your Doctor, BUT thats so insignificantly Childish when it comes to Your Health which without You inevitably Die. A Doctor is a Highly Trained Medical Professional (Hopefully that is) who People Hire, and Pay a small fucking Fortune for Their Services to Heal Us when We are Injured and Cure Us when We are Sick. This all goes to serve one and only purpose which is STAYING ALIVE AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. Who would choose to be Sick or in Pain or to Die Prematurely?!

Well That’s EXACTLY what You do By Lying to Your Doctor. Lying to Your Doctor just makes His/Her Job Significantly Harder and that Job is keeping You ALIVE, HEALTHY, and PAIN FREE. And by Lying to Your Doctor Your CHOOSING to Jeopardize Your Own Health and Well Being which is about as COUNTER PRODUCTIVE as You can fucking get in this Particular Situation.

         

Not to mention You’re spending a Substantial Shit Ton of Money to Keep You Healthy and Alive so by Lying all Your doing is Pissing Your Money Away. If You want to Waste Money do it Gambling or Something Entertaining, well at least more than a Doctor/Doctor’s Office at Least?!

Bottomline: Ironically Lying to Your Doctor serves NO ACTUAL PURPOSE (Other than to Spare Your Feelings) it Wastes Everyone’s Time, Money and Effort which I can’t Stress enough is TO KEEP YOU ALIVE, HEALTHY, AND PAIN FREE.

Think of it in a Nutshell: When it comes to Your Doctor: You Lie and You Die.

Thank for Reading,

  Les Sober

The Hepatitis C Hypothesis

 I have had a hypothesis lingering in the back of my brain for over a year, and my hypothesis is can Marijuana slow the progression of Hepatitis C. Now lets establish a few things before I begin presenting my Hep C Hypothesis .

  1. I’m not a Medical School student.
  2. I have no formal medical training/education.
  3. I am not a Doctor.
  4. I contracted Hep C
  5. I was treated for Hep C and now am considered cured (Hep C level is undetectable)
  6. I am curious and intelligent
  7. I keep up with the advancements of Marijuana in Medicine as I am 100% Pro Pot and the governments propaganda has been disproven as now real medical research has begun

 So heres the story, hypothesis, and Explanation there of. When I was 72  I had danced with the Hellion Heroin for brief periods through out my younger years, but this time it finally found me and proceeded to do exact its revenge the only way Heroin knows how by destroying your life. But that is a story for a different occasion and this is not a tutorial or case study on or about Heroin. 

The only reason I mentioned Heroin at all is there are only 2 ways to contract Hep-C  one being through a Blood Transfusion (Which I’ve never had and RELAX THEY CHECK FOR IT NOW.) and the second being through intravenous drug use which is how I became infected. Now Hep C can hideout in your liver for 10,15,20 years before any symptoms are present so I personally diagnosed with Hep C a decade (10 years) later after I had cleaned myself up along with my life. 

Its one of those stories you hear about I went in for routine blood work as part of a well overdue physical. After a while I realized that the Doctor’s office had failed to call me with my blood work results which is par of the course so I called them since I find people not preforming their basic job duties irritating as fuck. I got a receptionist that answered the phone as if she hated her job and her life along with it who transferred me to a nurse. The nurse got on the line and read my results like she had never seen (more or less read) blood work results before in her life, and seemed to be desperately struggling to figure out what she was looking at.  In the end she informed me that due to slightly elevated liver enzymes the Doctor was recommending a more extensive blood work panel. I am not one of those smart asses that go on Med MD or some shit, and then go to my Doctor and try to 1 up him when he presents his findings/recommendations.  I followed the Doctors orders and promptly went to have my blood drawn and sent off to some laboratory god knows where to be analyzed.  Once the results were in I was contacted in a timely matter this time around, and wanted me to set up a consultation (which I interpreted as VERY BAD fucking thing because consultations of this sort always lend themselves to the worst of the worst scenario) When I got to the consultation the Doctor told me the diagnosis was Hepatitis C and that being out of his skill set was referring me to a specialist (known as Infectious Disease Doctors which I believe to be the worst fucking title for a Doctor as they already make people nervous to begin with).  

NOW LETS PAUSE A MINUTE. This is also NOT a tutorial on Hep C so I’m mentioning only the bare basics as I they related to me personally through my Hepatitis situation. If your curious about Hep C then fucking Google it.

When I met with the Specialist who informed me that for someone with Hep C I was in rather good position. This was due to the fact my viral load (or amount of Hep C found in one’s blood) was 100,000 which granted sounds like a lot, BUT on average when someone comes to him their numbers are 5 million usually more. Also he informed me that due to excessive amounts of liver transplants the FDA had made Hep C its number 1 priority which meant they were pumping millions of dollars into research. I was lucky I didn’t have to suffer through the traditional interferon which is used to treat cancer as well as Aids/HIV and was the main reason people quit treatment. All I had to do in the end was take 2 pills once a day for 3 months, have blood work immediately after finishing treatment and then again a year later to see if I was indeed cured which I was and am to this day.

Now even though I was in a good position along with new medications to be cured before I suffered a single symptom and was subsequently was cured still had to wonder how it all came to be.  I say that because when I was using Heroin I also drank excessively and we all know that will kill your liver if you let it so my liver was getting the holy Hell kicked out of it in a 2 on 1 fight for preservation. I would like to say when I got clean I also got sober yet that was not to be the case. I continued to drink heavily with occasional benders. I still enjoy beer (I have quit Booze) BUT I have learned in older age moderation is the key to all things this world has to offer. 

My lingering question simply was how in spite of the Shooting Heroin and the boarder line alcoholism how could my Hep C viral load was extremely low when I was diagnosed? Then I noticed new studies in Marijuana and its affect on Cancer Tumors. What was being reported was while Marijuana can’t cure Cancer or destroy tumors it could buy the patient a good deal of well needed/wanted time by slowing the Tumor’s ability to replicate Cancer Cells. Basically Caner sets up shop (the way Hep C sets up shop in the liver) and then replicates Caner cells like a fucking Cancer Factory Assembly Line. Hep C specifically sets up its shop in the liver it works in the same way as Cancer does using replication. So the initial Hypothesis is Can Marijuana Slow The Replication of the Hepatitis C Virus in infected patients they way it can in Cancer Patients?!

Its not just the Marijuana itself that I believe could slow Hep C’s replication process alone theres more to it than that. While it has for a rather long time been proven as fact that every single human being (for unknown reasons) has THC receptors in wired into their brains. But not only that further research on THC receptors has shown its not just the brain that comes equipped with THC receptors but they can be found through out the body. Not only that but there are dense clusters of THC receptors located through out the human body INCLUDING THE LIVER.

  In summation my hypothesis is this: Can Marijuana in combination with the cluster of THC receptors in the liver account for my extremely low viral load (and the ability to be 100% cured) being due to the combined ability of Marijuana and the THC receptors located in the liver slow Hep C cell replication? 

 

 

 

Eon’s Magic Mushroom Saga

It was one of those picture perfect days in the Great Southern Swamp. A crystal blue sky you could stare off into for hours, sun so bright it looked like a grotesque replica from a cheap gas station postcard and a gentle breeze to stave off the hellish heat with ungodly humidity. Eon was the only one of us (us being Eon, Armenian and myself) who had the day off from serving over priced cocktails to belligerent businessmen in over priced suits. Since the weather was so wonderful Eon decided to take a long bike ride into the center of the Swamp where there is an astounding amount of terra firma to the point it has been converted to cattle farming country long ago in a different time in the same place.

Now this wasn’t a random off the top of her head decision you see she had an exact destination complete with a obtainable goal. The hunt started  off looking for the destination which was a specific field of grazing cattle which is insanely hard due to the fact thats all there is in the center of the Great Southern Swamp are cattle grazing fields. But Eon had the upper hand because she had been given vaguely cryptic directions by a well intentioned co-worker by the name of Psilocybin. The hunt concluded with the obtainable goal of harvesting some marvelous Magic Mushrooms.

I feel its pertinent to explain the correlation between the Cattle Field and the Magic Mushrooms. Its actually quite simple biological science you see. It starts with the cows who spend all day long (at sometimes night as well as they aren’t dairy cows but rather beef cows) grazing happily in the vast open fields where one field could cover up to 100 plus aches. Since the cows eat then we all know they have to shit which they do all day long as well. With the intense heat and rabid humidity along with ample sun and rain pervides the ideal weather for nurturing the growth of funguses such as mushrooms in this case. So thusly the mushrooms sprout and mature growing in/on the cow crap in the hot, steamy environment some of which are Magic Mushrooms, but I digress.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Collecting Magic Mushrooms is EXTREMELY HAZARDOUS and could lead to SERIOUS INJURY OR DEATH. Why? HERES WHY:

  1. If you don’t know the 100% positive identification of the Magic Mushroom you could pick the WRONG mushroom causing you to become VIOLENTLY SICK and in some cases they could POISON YOU AND YOU DIE.
  2. There are BULLS out in the field NOT JUST COWS. Bulls are exactly like you’ve been told they are. BULLS ARE AGGRESSIVE, EASYLY ANGERED, TERRITORIAL and PROTECTIVE OF THE COWS as he perceives them as his women who are not to be trifled with.
  3. REMEMBER YOUR TRESPASSING which is BREAKING THE LAW and can result in you being ARRESTED OR WORSE. In the Great Southern Swamps farmer’s CAN LEGALLY SHOOT TRESPASSERS, THEY CAN USE DEADLY FORCE BY LAW. Now most Farmer’s don’t want to kill anyone especially some stupid kids SO they load their SHOTGUNS with ROCK SALT. You see ROCK SALT SHOT OUT OF A SHOTGUN will PIERCE YOUR SKIN and if you aren’t aware Salt in a wound BURNS LIKE BOILING ACID though its virtually non lethal.
  4. MAGIC MUSHROOMS ARE CONSIDERED AN ILLEGAL DRUG BY THE POLICE SO YOU ALSO RISK ARREST AND PROSECUTION FOR DRUG POSSESSION.

With mission in mind and hope in her heart Eon mounted her Thrift Store Special bicycle and started peddling in the direction of the designated  hallucinogenic promised land. After an hour or two Eon finally stumbled more or less upon the desired field and leaned her bike up against a fence pole, checked her backpack and headed into the heart of the field. As the day trailed on Eon found a plethora of Magic Mushrooms along her travels in the field and was generally pleased with how things were working out. At one point Eon paused and took note that the sun was setting and that was her sign it was time to head on home. It didn’t take long for Eon to suddenly realize she was a tad bit lost as standing in the field was like standing on a life raft in open water, where there is no way to orient oneself. So Eon did all she could to try and retrace her steps through the field and its bovine residents until Eon noticed something out of the corner of her eye. It was a rather large penis that belonged to a even larger Bull with a massive set of menacing looking horns. Eon froze as she and the Bull eyed one another up and then Eon started to run like hell. The Bull waited a brief minute and then decided even if Eon was retreating he stilled needed to settle the score because she had effectively broken into his house. Once the Bull made up his mind he charged after Eon in enraged at her indiscretion and intent on goring her to death or perhaps just trampling her to death one or the other it supposed. Eon saw the fence marking the perimeter of the field, but was unaware it wasn’t the side of the fence she entered through. Any who Eon fueled by adrenaline and the will to live hauled ass making it to the fence and baseball sliding under it just in time to avoid being killed by the Bull. BUT Eon had exited the opposite side of the field she had entered and this side of the field ended right outside of the fence at a 5-6 foot drop strait down into the deep dark (and more than likely Alligator infested) waters of one of the Great Southern Swamps numerous interconnecting canals. Luckily for Eon she managed to at the last possible second to grab hold of the long grass and weeds to keep from plummeting into the cretinous canal. Her body still pumped up on adrenaline managed to pull Eon up onto the narrow 3 foot embankment to safety.

Eon was now faced with a dying twilight and decided the best (and really only) option was to start walking along the massive fence perimeter until she inevitably found her bike. With a huge sigh of relief Eon hopped on her bike and peddled for the comfort and safety of home. Yet there was one trial left for little Eon to endure for as Eon was biking home with a back pack filled with Magic Mushroom (approximately a quarter pound or so) which are highly illegal she was “pulled over”. As it turned out it was just a local yokel cop who was rather bored and a decent enough person to stop Eon to see if she was alright. Eon told the officer she was all good and almost home (she was in fact only 4 blocks from the house when she got stopped) and with that the cop road off none the wiser.