Life Experience – f-your blog

Autocalypse: When the Other Motorist’s Insurance is Shit

One Random Day My Wife asked if She could Borrow My Car to Run a Quick Errand and I said of Course. I’m Not on of those Guys that Insanely Compulsive about Their Car (Example: “ONLY I Drive My Car.”) and All I really cared about was Not being Dragged along as I hate Shopping in ALL Its Forms. Luckily for Me My Presence was Not required so I tossed Her the Keys, Fired Up the Laptop, and Settled in for a little Impromptu Me Time as it were.

30 Minutes had passed and I was thoroughly Enjoying Myself when then Phone Rang. I picked it up and it was My Wife who immediately told Me to STAY CALM, But something Happened to My Car. She then wen on to Inform Me that as She (along with a Dear Family Friend) had been Slowly Cruising the Grocery Parking Lot for a Space, and Low and Behold an Elderly Lady Pulled Out/ Backed Out of Her Parking Spot and Directly into My Rear Passenger Car Door. I instructed My Wife to make SURE NO ONE LEFT the Scene before I got there and that I was leaving the House as We Spoke.

I jumped into My Wife’s Car and Headed Out in a fucking Hurry. It Only took about 5-6 Minutes for Me to Arrive as This Particular Grocery Store was Literally Down the Street and Around the fucking Corner. Which was lucky for all as I ADMIT I Drive like a Total Asshole when I’m Seriously Pissed Off.

I pull up and the first fucking thing I realize is I smell Alcohol because The Elderly Lady smelled like a fucking Brewery, and NOT a good one Mind You. So I bulldozed My way passed the Drunk Old Lady so I could Survey the Damage Done to My Car. What I saw STILL Boggles My Mind to this Very Day.

The Driver was a Drunk Elderly Lady Driving a Generic as fuck 4 Door Sedan, and there was only 4 feet between where She was Parked and My Car Door. Well with those Stats You’d figure the Damage would be Rather Minimal, But in this Case You’d Be Wrong Very Wrong Indeed. You see instead of a Dent (or perhaps 2) or a Scratch (or 2) or Perhaps a little of Both My Door looked like it had been Hit by a Legitimate Wrecking Ball.

From the Bottom of the Window to the Bottom of the Door was Caved in, it looked like a fucking Meteorite Crater for fucks sake. How the Hell that Drunk Old Lady managed to Generate Enough Speed in 4 fucking Feet to Cause this Type of fucking Damage. I just stood there fucking totally Dumb Struck at what I was Looking along with the Scenario that Caused it.

At Last a Lazy Cop (I saw that because it took the Bastard 57 fucking Minutes to show the fuck up, and then acted All Authoritative as if We were wasting HIS Time the Hypocritical Cock Cracker) and He too instantly Smelled Alcohol on The Elderly Ladies Breath. We went through the Regular Rigamarole “Any One Hurt?”, “What Exactly Happened”, “Drivers Licensees and Proof of Insurance” Blah Blah Fuckity Blah. Once that Part concluded The Cop put the Drunk Elderly Lady in Handcuffs and Carted Her off to the Drunk Tank to Sober the fuck up.

Now I ADMIT I seriously fucked Up and instead of taking My Car to My fucking Mechanic as I have Done with EVERY Auto Accident I’ve been involved in/with. This time I’m still unsure why I opted to let the Drunk Elderly’s Lady’s Insurance (Which by the way was ALLSTATE, You’ll see why this is Significant a little later on in this Post) Fix it at One of Their Contracted Auto Mechanic Shops.

The Repair Consisted of Repairing the Power Window (which in all Honestly was Already Malfunctioning, BUT considering the Amount of Speed and Force Generated by the Drunk Elderly Lady chances are the Internal Power Window Mechanisms would have been Obliterated Anyways so) and Replacing the Car Door Panel. This Repair should take a Day perhaps Two if the Shop is Busy and You have to Wait for Them to get to Your Car.

Well for the Next TWO WEEKS My Wife, Friends, Family, and I continued to Struggle with How the hell This Drunk Elderly Woman could have induced SO MUCH Damage in such a Short Distance?! I joked I should call the Guys from the Defunct TV Discovery Channel Show MYTH BUSTERS, and ask Them to Figure it Out since They could probably use The Paycheck.

I also in Jest suggested I hire a Team of Physicists to Run Tests in a Lab to Figure Out the Answer. In the End the ONLY thing that even came Close to a fucking Answer was Being Intoxicated The Elderly Lady got in Her Car and Floored the fucking Thing without even Being Aware of It. Then She must have put the Car in Reverse while Gunning the Engine and SLAMMED Into My Car.

After Realizing that the Mechanic Shop My Car was being Repaired called STERLING AUTOMOTIVE (Yes I’m using Their Real Name because Their Assholes and People should fucking damn well know it.) had infant had My Car an EXORBITANTLY LONG fucking Time I gave Them a call the Next Day when I got a Free Minute at Work. As it were the Following Morning at Work (I was a Vet Tech at a Local Veterinary Animal Hospital) was Hectic as All Hell, BUT around 12:30 I had a chance to make the Call.

I was standing in the Midsection of The Hospital that was Behind the Exam Rooms where We did Bloodwork, Dispensed Medications, and Prepped Animals for Surgery and Such. My Boss and Supervisor where sitting to My Left shooting the Shit with a Couple of Our Clients. And Thank God They were Empathetic as Well as Being Pretty Cool People because What Happened Next was a Spontaneous Shitshow.

I Called Up STERLING AUTOMOTIVE and a Young Lady answered. I told Her the Situation, and that I was extremely Unpleased by Their fucking Slow as a Tortoise Timeline. She then Let Me Know that My Car was in Fact Ready, and The Mechanics were giving it a Once Over to Insure the Repairs were Correct. She then Informed Me there had Been an Issue with My Car, and I asked Her what at which point She tells Me matter-of-factly that While at Their Shop My fucking Car was Broken Into and Some Crackhead Cocksucker Stole My $300 Car Stereo.

I being back then My Later 20’s hadn’t learned a single thing about Proper Self Control so My Anger Kicked In and I Totally Lost My shit. I yelled into the phone something to the Effect of:

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN MY FUCKING CAR WAS FUCKING BROKEN INTO?! SOMEONE FUCKING BROKE INTO MY FUCKING CAR, AND FUCKING STOLE MY FUCKING STEREO? THAT’S WHAT THE FUCK YOUR FUCKING TELLING ME FOR FUCK’S SAKE?!!!”

The Poor Young Lady was COMPLETELY FLOORED and Had NO IDEA what to do at This Point Period. I told Her I’d be coming Down IMMEDIATELY and Hung Up on Her. I called My Wife who was Off from Work for a Ride Down to STERLING ASSHOLE AUTOMOTIVE.

As Soon as I Stormed in the Door EVERY Employee behind the Counter which was located at the Back of the Shop Hauled Ass out of there. I reached the Counter just in time to Hear someone say They were getting the Manager Jeff. To Occupy My time I made several Phone Calls and LOUDLY ANNOUNCED that My Car was Broken into and My Stereo Stolen at STERLING AUTOMOTIVE. I did this Solely because there were Plenty of Customers/Potential Customers in the Shop as well as Entering and Exiting.

At Last a Short Man Named Greg Weighing 90 Pounds Soaking Wet with Rocks in His fucking Pockets showed up to Escort Me Outside (Obviously to Avoid Creating any Further Commotion in the Shop). I immediately got Toe to Toe with Jeff and Told Him I sure a fuck didn’t Appreciate the Fact They had My car for a RIDICULOUSLY LONG TIME for a Simple Repair that in My fucking Opinion provided some Scumshit to Steal My Stereo.

Greg tried BRIEFLY at that Point to Stand His Ground by telling Me He didn’t Appreciate How I talked to His Employee. I then told Jeff TOUGH SHIT I wasn’t Apologizing to ANYONE FOR ANYTHING. I went on to say Jeff being the Shop Manager should have called Me since this was a Sensitive Issue, BUT APPARENTLY JEFF had the Desk Girl do it For Him. Thus it was His fault because He was being a fucking Coward and chose to Hide rather than do His fucking Job. Jeff promptly shut the fuck up and We went to Examine My Car.

I noticed as We walked around the side of the Building to Their Lot I noticed They had a 15 foot tall Chain Link Fence, but Unlike Every Other Auto Mechanic there was NO BARBED WIRE. This means that if You a Scumfuck or High on Crack and Not Insanely afraid of Heights You could Simply Climb over No Problem No Bolt Cutters Needed. As We entered the Lot I saw a Singular So-Called Security Camera that was DEFINITELY NOT useful for Shit because it was a Shitty Closed Circuit TV Camera (like the Ones They have in Connivence Stores) Circa 1980. The fucking Red Activation Light wasn’t on which is a EASY way to Tell the Camera wasn’t even On as more than likely it wasn’t even Hooked Up to Electricity.

I Didn’t hesitate to share My Distain and Observations to Greg’s Attention He Attempted to give Me a Bullshit Excuse and I told Him I could fucking Care Less what He had to say for Himself. Once We reached my Car the First Thing that Occurred to Me was The Window was Broken. Don;t get Me Wrong I didn’t;t want My Windows Busted, YET in this Type of Breaking an Entering the Perpetrator will simply Break the Window, Open the Door, and Steal the Stereo.

SO Why then wasn’t MY Window Busted Out?! I then asked Greg this Question and He said I kid You Not that because STERLING AUTOMOTIVE has SO MANY issues with People Stealing Their Customer’s shit while Their Vehicle is in Sterling’s Custody that They STOPPED LOCKING THE CAR DOORS. That translates into “We get robbed all the fucking time so We don’t lock the Doors so The Crackheads won’t Break The Windows, and Then STERLING wouldn’t have to Pay for the Window as Well as the fucking Replacement Stereo.”

Greg even informed Me that HIS fucking Car had been Broken Into 3 Times since He started working there. I suppose this was to try and make Me feel not so Bad about what Happened, BUT all it did was Piss Me off More. I took what Jeff had said as that STERLING was such a Shit Show of a Shit Shop that even the Employees Car’s get Robbed. What The Fuck is that bullshit About?!

Well in the End I got My Stereo Replaced, a Bullshit Apology from STERLING, and One Hell of a Story.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober ( Posted 12:16am)

IF Your Feeling Froggy I Can Gladly Eat Your Legs.

Here is the briefest of glimpses into my manic mind.

2 weeks ago I had to have a Surgical Procedure done as an insurance policy as it were. It wasn’t a big deal. Nothing to break a sweat over.

What I mean is it was a same day type deal. Your admitted in the Morning and discharged in the Afternoon (I mean fuck I was home a little before 1:30 pm)

Everything went smooth as a Sex on Satin Sheets that is until I arrived in Post Op.

You see I was born in The Armpit of America so swearing is highly integrated into my speech pattern. Thats is simply I curse a lot.

Now over the years with Age and some Wisdom I have managed to keep my shit together and roll with the punches, BUT I am far, far, FAR from perfect.

There are a few times/situations/scenarios where granted I do still tend to go from Calm to Batshit Crazy in the blink of a eye.

Its a fucking Nightmare for ALL involved myself included (no one truly wants or strives to be a complete Dick or an outrageous Asshole or perhaps they do who knows not I.)

I mentioned in the last post F To The U To The C To The K To The Part To The 2 (that besides arguing absurdity while fucking with people to amuse myself when things get boring) I win the Mass Majority of my actual real deal arguments by Arguing Intelligently.

The Trick is a combination of the Other Party not being as nearly as smart as they think they are, They Don’t actually know that much about what Their arguing about/over, and Their underestimating their opponent knowledge on said subject.

And Here is a Perfect Example.

Once I had a moment to gather my surroundings and ability to speak without babbling incoherently I started talking with My Wife and My Dear Friend Percibles who We had flown in to assist Me while I recovered.

I’m extremely independent. I won’t even ask My Wife for help during temporary physical limitations because I should be able to cope with whatever the task is by Myself regardless of said limitations. Thus Percibles Presence was requested.

Anyway a particular Nurse swung back the privacy curtain with force and told me to watch my mouth with a scowl of disapproval painted across her fucking face.

I initially thought nothing of it because I was Beat Up and Half Whacked on Pain Killers while Muddle Minded due to the lingering Anesthesia. So I kept chatting with My Wife and Buddy Pericbles and I was unaware at first that I was continuing to swear like a Drunken Sailor.

That was until The No Nonsense Nurse whipped back the privacy curtain for the second time to inform me to watch my language because there were kids there while trying to stare me down.

That irritated me because in all honesty I didn’t tell anyone to have fucking kids.

If you have an issue with that last statement think of it like this if I had a misbehaving Dog you’d think the same thing I just said about Kids.

That and don’t fucking try and be all tough with me with that bullshit stare down bullshit, save that shit for Dogs.

I’ll let that sink in for a second. And We’re Back…..

So once the Nurse closed the privacy curtain (I could see her shadow silhouette standing there like a fucking Horror Movie) and turned to leave I deliberately said something to the affect of :

“I don’t fucking need her self righteous bullshit right now Jesus Christ.”

That got the desired reaction as the Nurse threw back the Curtin like a fucking Hurricane force gale, glaring like a motherfucker being obviously pissed off and growing incapable of hiding it.

This time she told me that apparently if I didn’t stop swearing she’d call Security. And that did not go over well.

I was born Loath and despise any and all Authority Figures. Authority is just Abuse of Power Run Amok. I mock Security Guards mercilessly always have and always will.

The reason is technically their an Authority BUT they have NO REAL AUTHORITY TO DO A DAMN THING. The most Security Guards can do is try and detain a suspect until the Police arrive.

Security Guards are a lame illusion of an Authoritative Power. Total Bullshit.

So once again as the Nurse shut the curtain and turned to leave I blurted out: “Fuck This Bullshit and Fuck Her Too for all I fucking care.”

This time the Nurse stormed off only to return with an Orderly or some low level grunt and I was relocated to what I can only assume was a spare Exam Room of some kind but I really couldn’t tell you for sure.

BEFORE YOU GET JUDGMENTAL HERE Is The Method to My Madness.

Incident One: Like I said initially I was unaware do to My then current condition aware I was swearing. I don’t mind nor take offense to anyone telling me/ reminding Me to watch my mouth. Thus No Harm No Foul.

Incident 2: I damn well know (because I’ve had surgery before, been in the Hospital a few times before, and oh yeah My Wife is a fucking Nurse (RN) for the past 10 fucking years) that society has long ago established that Adults go to the Hospital and Children go to Children’s Hospital designed to cater to the various needs of developing Children.

In a few rare cases that are the acceptation to the rule a Hospital may treat Children in a separate and secluded building.

My Point: ADULTS AND CHILDREN ARE TREATED IN SEPARATE FACILITIES.

I knew this was a blatant attempt into shaming me or making me feel guilty so I would stop Cursing.

Incident 3: I was also knew that the Threat of Security being called was utter horseshit from the get go. First off I’m in Post Op which means legally I can’t be moved. I also know ONLY A DOCTOR can discharge you.

Not to mention My Doctor had a couple more post op checks to do plus I had to go through the rather lengthy discharge process. Again proving that I COULD’T be removed from or discharged from the Hospital.

If the Nurse had even tried it be a race between My Doctor and the Hospital to see who fired her first. Not to mention t(hat just like Doctors or Lawyers) Nurses have Licenses that if revoked means They’d be barred from practicing in the Medical Profession.

Not to mention First Off Security would decline her request to phone the Police because CURSING ISN’T A CRIME. Can you say 1st Amendment?!

In the case Security was dumb as a box of fucking rocks and did phone the Police the Police would tell them the same thing. That and don’t call them over trivial bullshit again or they’d be in trouble for doing so.

My point in all this is the Nurse PERSONALLY took offense to my course language, it had nothing to do with Hospital Rules/Protocol, Security or The Police.

Bottom Line DON’T TRY AND FORCE FEED ME YOUR PERSONAL OPION(S).

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

A Nightmare’s Bad Dream

Looking back at my life a couple of centuries ago when I was a 72 and fueled by emotion not logic I met one of my best friends of all time. I lived in the apartment next door to my soon to be buddy ,and one day I was over at his apartment just killing time (which I had too much of at the time I get myself in the most trouble when I’m bored) and there was a small group of people having a lengthy conversation about Chili recipes. After approximately 20 minutes or so give or take I couldn’t stand having to listen to their conversation a minute more. Unlike other people who would just leave the apartment and go about their day I stayed for the soul purpose of antagonizing the Chili lovers for my own amusement.

I walked over and weaved my way into their conversation only to announce that Lithuanian’s (for a while I was obsessed with picking on Lithuania for some weird reason even I’m not fully aware of) Chili is by far the strangest Chili recipes in the entire known world. I backed my statement with the claim Lithuanians used Bean Sprouts as a main ingredient in their various Chili recipes. Immediately without pause one young man called me out saying that my statement about Lithuanian Chili was absolute bullshit. I then took the offense and demanded to know how in the name of all things Universal did he know what I was saying was in fact utter horseshit. He replied quite adamantly the reason he knew I was full of shit was the simple fact he WAS Lithuanian ,and that amused me to no end.

So over the following months since the Great Chili Convention Conversation my neighbor and I grew to be very good friends. Since it turned out in a bizarre stroke of luck my neighbor was really Lithuanian I dubbed him The Nightmare of Lithuania which then was reworded to The Lithuanian Nightmare (since the second version of the nickname reminded me of a 1980’s WWF Wrestler who’d have had epic pay-per-view matches against Hulk Hogan and shit) and then the final condensed version Nightmare which was the version that lasted the test of time. One day Nightmare’s roommate up and pissed off all of a sudden and Nightmare invited me to be the roommate replacement. I of course accepted his offer without a second thought, packed up my gear, told my current 2 roommates I was moving and then promptly left them standing in the living room looking rather bewildered ,and a tad unhappy about the out of the blue announcement.

Nightmare and my friendship is based on essentially how different we are which greatly improved my life thanks to Nightmare. Nightmare is one of a minute number of people that have the unique ability to calm me down once I lose my shit (My Wife would be the best of the best as the kiddies say) ,and back in those ancient days I lost my shit constantly. A Classic example of what I’m talking about is what I refer to as “2 a.m. Anger Avoidance” which played out back in those medieval days as follows. Nightmare and I would meet up in the evenings after work and other assorted shit back at our apartment. Now at some point I would vent furiously about how someone or something had totally pissed me off because what ever happened was a Damnable Offense against me, and if you fuck with me I’m going to fuck with you 10 fold. Nightmare then would spend up to several hours as the night marched on words morning slowing the progression of my angst from Rage to Anger to Disgust to accepting that indeed shit does happen.

Inevitably in an attempt to end the discussion Nightmare would remind me that the current time of night was say 2 a.m. at which point I would start to ramp up again because now on top of whatever it was that pissed me off (whoever was to blame basically) had now kept me up till 2 in the morning. Having to work his magic all over again from basically the start Nightmare would get me to simmer down so we could try and get a few hours of precious sleep before work. We had at the time taken on 2 more roommates in our 2 bedroom apartment so Nightmare and I shared a room. Now as Nightmare was desperately longing for sleep intermittently I would readdress the issue that angered me earlier that day until finally I would run out of steam and fall asleep. Unfortunately for Nightmare he would remain up a while longer and before he succumbed to sleep he would suddenly find himself agreeing that what I had been raging about the entire night was in fact quite fucked up.

Eon’s Magic Mushroom Saga

It was one of those picture perfect days in the Great Southern Swamp. A crystal blue sky you could stare off into for hours, sun so bright it looked like a grotesque replica from a cheap gas station postcard and a gentle breeze to stave off the hellish heat with ungodly humidity. Eon was the only one of us (us being Eon, Armenian and myself) who had the day off from serving over priced cocktails to belligerent businessmen in over priced suits. Since the weather was so wonderful Eon decided to take a long bike ride into the center of the Swamp where there is an astounding amount of terra firma to the point it has been converted to cattle farming country long ago in a different time in the same place.

Now this wasn’t a random off the top of her head decision you see she had an exact destination complete with a obtainable goal. The hunt started off looking for the destination which was a specific field of grazing cattle which is insanely hard due to the fact thats all there is in the center of the Great Southern Swamp are cattle grazing fields. But Eon had the upper hand because she had been given vaguely cryptic directions by a well intentioned co-worker by the name of Psilocybin. The hunt concluded with the obtainable goal of harvesting some marvelous Magic Mushrooms.

I feel its pertinent to explain the correlation between the Cattle Field and the Magic Mushrooms. Its actually quite simple biological science you see. It starts with the cows who spend all day long (at sometimes night as well as they aren’t dairy cows but rather beef cows) grazing happily in the vast open fields where one field could cover up to 100 plus aches. Since the cows eat then we all know they have to shit which they do all day long as well. With the intense heat and rabid humidity along with ample sun and rain pervides the ideal weather for nurturing the growth of funguses such as mushrooms in this case. So thusly the mushrooms sprout and mature growing in/on the cow crap in the hot, steamy environment some of which are Magic Mushrooms, but I digress.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Collecting Magic Mushrooms is EXTREMELY HAZARDOUS and could lead to SERIOUS INJURY OR DEATH. Why? HERES WHY:

If you don’t know the 100% positive identification of the Magic Mushroom you could pick the WRONG mushroom causing you to become VIOLENTLY SICK and in some cases they could POISON YOU AND YOU DIE.
There are BULLS out in the field NOT JUST COWS. Bulls are exactly like you’ve been told they are. BULLS ARE AGGRESSIVE, EASYLY ANGERED, TERRITORIAL and PROTECTIVE OF THE COWS as he perceives them as his women who are not to be trifled with.
REMEMBER YOUR TRESPASSING which is BREAKING THE LAW and can result in you being ARRESTED OR WORSE. In the Great Southern Swamps farmer’s CAN LEGALLY SHOOT TRESPASSERS, THEY CAN USE DEADLY FORCE BY LAW. Now most Farmer’s don’t want to kill anyone especially some stupid kids SO they load their SHOTGUNS with ROCK SALT. You see ROCK SALT SHOT OUT OF A SHOTGUN will PIERCE YOUR SKIN and if you aren’t aware Salt in a wound BURNS LIKE BOILING ACID though its virtually non lethal.
MAGIC MUSHROOMS ARE CONSIDERED AN ILLEGAL DRUG BY THE POLICE SO YOU ALSO RISK ARREST AND PROSECUTION FOR DRUG POSSESSION.

With mission in mind and hope in her heart Eon mounted her Thrift Store Special bicycle and started peddling in the direction of the designated hallucinogenic promised land. After an hour or two Eon finally stumbled more or less upon the desired field and leaned her bike up against a fence pole, checked her backpack and headed into the heart of the field. As the day trailed on Eon found a plethora of Magic Mushrooms along her travels in the field and was generally pleased with how things were working out. At one point Eon paused and took note that the sun was setting and that was her sign it was time to head on home. It didn’t take long for Eon to suddenly realize she was a tad bit lost as standing in the field was like standing on a life raft in open water, where there is no way to orient oneself. So Eon did all she could to try and retrace her steps through the field and its bovine residents until Eon noticed something out of the corner of her eye. It was a rather large penis that belonged to a even larger Bull with a massive set of menacing looking horns. Eon froze as she and the Bull eyed one another up and then Eon started to run like hell. The Bull waited a brief minute and then decided even if Eon was retreating he stilled needed to settle the score because she had effectively broken into his house. Once the Bull made up his mind he charged after Eon in enraged at her indiscretion and intent on goring her to death or perhaps just trampling her to death one or the other it supposed. Eon saw the fence marking the perimeter of the field, but was unaware it wasn’t the side of the fence she entered through. Any who Eon fueled by adrenaline and the will to live hauled ass making it to the fence and baseball sliding under it just in time to avoid being killed by the Bull. BUT Eon had exited the opposite side of the field she had entered and this side of the field ended right outside of the fence at a 5-6 foot drop strait down into the deep dark (and more than likely Alligator infested) waters of one of the Great Southern Swamps numerous interconnecting canals. Luckily for Eon she managed to at the last possible second to grab hold of the long grass and weeds to keep from plummeting into the cretinous canal. Her body still pumped up on adrenaline managed to pull Eon up onto the narrow 3 foot embankment to safety.

Eon was now faced with a dying twilight and decided the best (and really only) option was to start walking along the massive fence perimeter until she inevitably found her bike. With a huge sigh of relief Eon hopped on her bike and peddled for the comfort and safety of home. Yet there was one trial left for little Eon to endure for as Eon was biking home with a back pack filled with Magic Mushroom (approximately a quarter pound or so) which are highly illegal she was “pulled over”. As it turned out it was just a local yokel cop who was rather bored and a decent enough person to stop Eon to see if she was alright. Eon told the officer she was all good and almost home (she was in fact only 4 blocks from the house when she got stopped) and with that the cop road off none the wiser.