Tag: liver cancer

My Dad is Dead and My Uncle Donny is a DICK.

It’s No Secret that The 2 Sides of My Family are as Opposite as Night and fucking Day Believe You Me. While My Mother’s Side of the Family is Close, Supportive, and Loving My Father’s Family were/are Cold, Closed Off, and Insanely Self fucking Centered.

I have never Visited My Uncle Donny and His Family (Wife and 2 Kids) at His House not Once Not Ever. To be fair My Uncle and His Family only Visited My Family’s House for a Total of Twice. My Grandmother You see lived in The Big City that just so happened to be right around the Half Way between Our Family and My Uncles. Needless to say We utilized My Grandmother’s location to No End.

Every 5-6 Months We would all load up in the Car and Drive the 90 Minutes to My Grandmothers where We would meet Up with My Uncle and His Family. We’d sit around in Virtual Silence just Staring at the fucking Walls like Our Own Personal Waiting Room in Purgatory. The whole thing was Horribly Mind Numbing to say the Least.

       

Finally either My Father or My Uncle would decide it had been Long Enough sitting Idly around My Grandmothers Small 1 Bed Room Apartment, and We would head out to a Chinese Restaurant, but usually We just Frequented a Near By Italian Restaurant. The Meal would be almost exactly the same as Sitting Around My Grandmother’s Apartment like a bunch of Irrational Assholes. The only difference was the Setting and The Food other than That the Social Dynamic NEVER CHANGED.

My Uncle Donny spent a Majority of His time during these Estranged Visits catering to His Demanding High Maintenance Wife who I will refer to as Picky which She was in Spades. Picky was a OG Drama Queen who not only was a Legend in Her own fucking feeble Mind She was the most Self Centered Person I have ever Encountered.

My Brother and I hung out with Each other to help Pass the Tension of Time since My Uncles Kids were as Socially Outgoing as Their Shitty Parents. The Daughter who was the Eldest of the Two I believe truly meant well She just didn’t have a fucking Clue how to Navigate through this Certain Shit Show. She ended up getting Married and has a couple Kids I think, but We have NEVER Communicated outside or since the Joint Visits to My Grandmother’s, and that goes for the ENTIRE fucking Family for that Matter.

       

My Uncle Donny’s Son was a Silent as They come which People wrote off to Him being Seriously Introverted and thus rather Socially Awkward. I’m still waiting to See Him on the News for being Arrested as a Prolific Serial Killer. Socially Awkward My Ass He’s a fucking Sociopath. I heard years ago He was working in the City and Shit got out of Control, and He returned Home all fucked up in the Head. The Last I Heard He works in fucking Thai Land where He has some Day Job and at Night He Kills Prostitutes which would be far easier to do in a SMALL 3rd WORLD COUNTRY (Just Saying).

My Uncle was (He is Retired Now though I don’t know for How Long since I have No Idea when He actually Retired) a Lawyer’s Lawyer. Self Involved, Money Worshipping, Reputation Driven, Success Obsessed Egotistical Son of a Bitch. He lived for His Work and seems to care NOTHING about Anyone Else or Anything that doesn’t directly relate to Him. I’m not kidding.

He NEVER contacted My Father, My Father always had to reach out to Him. Once My Father finally caught Up with His Brother all My Uncle Donny would do is Talk about whatever the fuck was going on Currently in His Life. It was all about Him, His Job, His Friends, His Family, His Wife Etc. HE NEVER ASKED MY FATHER HOW HE OR WE WERE because My asshole Uncle could have Cared Less. My Father over time began to reach out less and less until He came to the Conclusion trying to Maintain a relationship (even if its just VIA the Phone/Email) simply WASN’T WORTH IT. His Brother was a Life Long Douchebag, and Had No Intention of Ever Trying to Change. Once a DICK Always a DICK as Some Say.

       

Now I know this sounds like just some Run of the Mill fucked Up Family Issues, (Let’s face it where there’s Family there’s going to be Issues), BUT as a Rule of Thumb Family sticks Together. The Point Being You have to Love Your Family, YET You Don’t have to Like Them.

My Father was Diagnosed with Terminal Liver Cancer and Fought it for the Better Part of a Year before Finally Succumbing. When My Father Died it fell on His Second Wife’s Shoulders to be the preverbal Bearer of Bad News. Of course the First People She contacted were Family Members and that included My Asshole Uncle who had Done little to Nothing even after Learning His only Brother was Terminally Ill.

My Father’s Second Wife called My Asshole of an Uncle to inform Him of HIs Brother’s Passing, BUT first and foremost She spent 15 fucking Minutes waiting for mY Uncle to remember Who the Hell She was. Once the My Idiot Uncle remembers Who She is She tells Him My Father Died, and the First fucking thing out of His fucking Mouth is and I fucking Quote “Well We Can’t Make It To The Funeral.”

       

Now Mind You My FAther’s Second Wife NEVER SAID If there was Going to be a Traditional Funeral (which it wasn’t as mY Father wasn’t Religious, fuck He didn’t want an Obituary either), Where it Would Be, or What the Time and Date would be. He just immediately Stated He (and His fucked up Family) WOULDN’T be There. None of My Family Member nor Myself ever Heard any Condolences of Any Sort from My Uncle, No Letter, No Email, No Phone We received a whole shit ton of Absolutely NOTHING.

Who the fuck Wouldn’t be Upset by Their Only Brother’s Untimely Demise, and more over WHO THE FUCK WOULN’T ATTEND THE FUCKING FUNERAL OR TALK WITH FELLOW GRIEVING FAMILY MEMBERS??!

My Asshole Uncle Donny Thats fuck Who Apparently. I have vowed that if I ever have the Misfortune of Laying Eyes on the Miserable Sack of Shit again in My Life I’m going to Punch the Fucker right in His fucking Face. The ironic thing is the Asshole moved not Only to The Great Southern Swamp when I resided there, BUT He moved to a Town that was 20 minutes from My fucking House.

One part of Me was Thankful I didn’t know when I was Living there because I didn’t get in Trouble because You better believe if I hit the Filthy Fuck He’d call the Piece of Shit Police. The Other Part of Me thought “WHO the fuck Moves 20 minutes away from a Fellow Family Member and DOESN’T Mention it to Them?!”

MY ASSHOLE UNCLE DONNY THAT’S WHO.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

Marijuana & My Mother Do a Complete 180

I remember when California passed The Compassionate Use Act in 1996 (becoming the 1st State to legalize Medical Marijuana) my friends and I were floored. Until now our Pot Smokings greatest aspirations were to save up enough money to make the Pot Head Pilgrimage across the Ocean to the Netherlands. The destination being the Legendary City of Marijuana known as Amsterdam. The Mystical Metropolis where Weed was sold and smoked without legal or social persecution  as No One Gave a Shit (a fucking Utopia as far as my Friends were concerned).

And now there it was the State of California a Pot Smokers Beacon of Hope, but it was a “So Close Yet So Far” Scenario for my Friends and I unfortunately. See while California legalized Medical Marijuana (which illuminated a lot of Foreign travel bullshit making it much easier to access  than Amsterdam) you had to be a Legal Resident with a Doctor’s Prescription Card to reap the benefits of Medical Marijuana Legally.

So California felt as fucking far away as Andsterdajm as far as I was concerned. Thankfully for me over the past 22 years 29 states have Legalized (Medical OR Recreational) Marijuana use by persons over the age of 21.

When I was growing up I started smoking Weed around 15-16 years old and have continued to this very day. My Mom was the fucking antithesis of Ronnie Regan’s bullshit War On Drugs that labeled Marijuana a Gate Way Drug (Which has been proven to be false as Alcohol is the actual 1st intoxicant Teens try so FUCK OFF ALCHOL.

Anyway the point being my Mother was disgusted and appalled by anyone, (let alone her Son) using Marijuana, and spent years battling in vain to get me to quite smoking weed. She used the old school smell check when I would get home starting  in High School in an attempt to detect the smell of Weed. The problem was my Mother had (and still doesn’t really) know what the fuck Weed smells like. This led to countless unfounded accusations because she mistook Incense, Petrulli Oil, Cloves, Cigarillo’s, Certain Cologne, and camp fire smoke just to name a few. In the end she caught me a few times when I was definitely Stoned, but only once did she find Weed. One evening She ran through my jacket pockets, and removed a fat ass Dime Bag yet never mentioned it to me ironically as it were.

. At the same time on the other side of the Cannabis Coin I spent just as many years futilely fighting to change my Mother’s negative view of Marijuana. I constantly fought to inform my Mother Marijuana had multiple Medical Uses, and wasn’t a killer narcotic like Crack. I argued that the Gate Way Drug Theory was bullshit. Was I really meant to believe if I smoked Weed on Wednesday I’d be robbing Old Ladies and shooting Heroin into my fucking neck?!!! Bullshit.

Now we fast forward to 2016 and I’m now in my 30’s and I was a married home owner living in the Great Southern Swamp. I was visiting my Father who was struggling against Liver Cancer because he wan’t people to remember him as he was not as a crippled, bed ridden living Corpse.

My Father loved to cook, hell thats an understatement. He had cooked dinner for me,my Wife, Himself, his 2nd Wife, and oddly my Mother. We were in the middle of eating I was seated at one end of the table and my Father at the other when my Mother (sitting to the right of my Father), and then it happened. My Father at that point was on a powerful as fuck Steroid that was causing mild insomnia (He slept 3-4 hours a night) and inhibiting his appetite. Now not just cooking food, but eating it as well was one of my Father’s true passions, and he quit Chemotherapy because he was too nauseous and fatigued to even think about eating shit.

My Mother leans over and all of a sudden she asked:

“Have you tired Marijuana???”

Now the answer was yes he had tried it once since getting sick. He had decided to try it at least once since he had nothing to loose (not like it kill him). The first hurdle for him (besides living in a state where Marijuana is still Illegal) was he was in his 70’s so who could he ask about getting Weed? He finally asked a close friend who had a Daughter who lived in The Rotten Apple and had a Dealer. Next my Father had obsessed about how much he should smoke ( take a couple hits of a joint? Smoke Half? Smoke it All? I think he was very weary of the affects and it made him rather uneasy.

The Daughter’s Dealer sent a Joint along to my Father along with the message to Please Smoke the Sample Joint and if my Father liked it to let him know. I didn’t have the pleasure of smoking with my Father, but my Younger Brother did. This was in part due to a phone call awhile before hand where I asked him to be there to help assist my  Father’s inaugural Toking to make sure things went smoothly. It did accept no one informed my Father that due to its unique reverse tolerance (Marijuana has to build up in your system before you can experience the High which is why in most all cases a person won’t get Stoned the 1st or 1st few times the smoke.) he might need to keep going, but he figured once was enough for him.

I couldn’t get over what my Mother had said and couldn’t let it go until I found out why. It only took a couple of moths or so and I learned the real story.

Apparently my Mother has a very good friend who suffers from brutal insomnia (She would go DAYS without sleeping), and she to had a Daughter who happened to live in Colorado (The New Mecca for Marijuana in America). So inevitably my Mother’s Friend flew out to visit her Daughter, and while she was there visiting her Daughter suggested trying Marijuana to combat her ongoing contest against insomnia. My Mother’s friend thought why not and purchased some Weed from a local Dispensary (Marijuana is Legal for Medical AND Recreational Adult Use) and tried it. She was blown away as she had never imagined Marijuana would work nearly as well as it did. Since that trip She had been singing the praises of Marijuana to everyone She knew INCLUDING MY MOTHER.

Then in that instant I realized what the fuck was going on. Its damn near identical as to going to Court. You can go to Court and tell the Judge your innocent and he sends you to jail, BUT if you hire a Lawyer and he says the same fucking thing you did/would have all of a sudden the Judge starts listening.

And thats exactly what had happened with my Mother and her views of Marijuana. I could tell her till I was blue in the fucking face (and I did) about the benefits of Marijuana and all the bullshit propaganda             BUT UNTIL HER GOOD FRIEND VOUCHED FOR THE BENEFITS OF MARIJUANA THROUGH HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCE was the convincing factor for my Mother’s drastic and positive attitude change towards Medical Marijuana.

Sometimes its not WHATS BEING SAID BUT WHO’S SAYING IT that matters.

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober