Tag: losing a friend

Another Good Man Is Dead

It’s a Truly Sad Day here at FYB as I found out Earlier Today that My Oldest and Dearest Friends Mike BlueJetSki Dies to Soon Last Night of Congestive Heart Failure. Ever Since I found Out the World Seems to Be Somewhat Off as if Reality has Suddenly gone Askew. Another Fallen Friend to Bid Farewell   to Another Death, Another Celebration of Deceased’s Life, Another Grave Needs Filling.

I’m not what You would call a Sentimental sort of Person so This is Far, Far, Far from any Biographical Memoire, but Alas I still have Shit to Say. I met Mike when I switched Schools right Before 9th Grade. It’s needless to say High School fucking Sucks, and Teenagers are Assholes so being an Interloper in a Group of fellow Students who have been fucking Classmates since fucking Elementary School. Mike was the First Person to approach Me and extend His Hand in Friendship.

Mike was an extremely Talented Self Taught Guitarist who I had the distinct Pleasure of Playing with in Several High School Bands with such as Burnt Toast, The Severed Heads, Rules of a Riot, The Satanic MC Collective, Shit Out of Luck, Far From Sober, and most Notably Stank Breath. Mike and I were part of the Motley Crew of Heavy Metal Loving, Pot Smoking, Underage Drinking Head Banger Slackers who’s only real accomplishment was Not Dropping Out or Flunking out of High School. For some in Our Circle of Friends that was a Tall Order I assure You.

           

Mike was also an Amazing Mechanic who was Born with a Natural Talent for Working with His Hands. I stopped by Mike’s Grandmothers House where Mike was Helping Her Clean Out Her Cluttered Attic. While Rummaging Through the Contents of the Attic Mike had come across His Grandfather’s Korean War Rifle. Now Mike had Obviously never seen a Korean War Rifle since He was Born After the Korean War Itself. It took Mike Meer Minutes to Completely Disassemble the Rifle, Clean it, and Reassemble it Flawlessly in Perfect Working Order .

During Our Junior Year of High School Mike’s Mother Started Dating since Sad to Say Mike’s Father had Died at an Early Age as Well of Heart Related Issues (The Kicker was He was on Medication that would have kept Him alive Accept for a Short Period He couldn’t Afford it and Paying the Bills. Talk about putting Family First and True Sacrifice.) a few Years before I met Him. Mike’s Mom was a Unconventional Character who was Honestly Quite Lonely and wanted Someone, Anyone really to Live out the Rest of Her Days With. After a long line of fucking Loser’s She impulsively Married a Southern Religious Fanatic and Old School Racist Asshole Don without Ever meeting Him in Person Prior to the Wedding (this was Pre Internet so They had to write actual Letters and Use Landlines to Communicate.)

Mike’s Mom suddenly announced one Day soon after Marrying Don the Dick to Dothan Alabama of all fucking Shitholes because thats were Don and His Family Lived, and They (Mike and His Siblings) had just under 2 weeks to get Their Shit Together before the Actual Moving Day. Again back in those Days there Weren’t wasn’t the Internet or Social Media or Skype so as I said communication could be Slow and for that matter inconsistent. The Only other Option outside of Snail Mail was Land Lines that Charged a small fucking fortune for Long Distance Calls. Being Teenagers Niether Mike nor I had any Money or source of Income so I could Move with Mike, and Mike couldn’t Move Back.

           

I did manage to Sell Enough Pot to Visit Mike During Spring Break to Don’s Dismay in Fact Don Claimed that if I came to Visit I’d “Bring the Devil to Alabama.” which being a Heavy Metal Fan and Teenager I thought was pretty fucking bad ass. In the End Mike’s Mom Divorced Don who became Mentally Unstable increasingly more and more as Time Passed. One Day Mike found Don sitting in the Kitchen with a Loaded Shotgun ranting about Murdering Mike. Mike tackled Don who was out of Shape and Obese and Wrenched the Shotgun from Him which He then locked in the Trunk of His car for Safe Keeping.

Mike was seriously one of the Most Artistically creative People I have EVER had the Sincere Pleasure of Knowing. Mike could Improvise like a Motherfucker No Matter what was Going On Mike could whip up a Song, Fictional Character, Short Story, or Movie Plot just to name a Few of Mike’s Natural Born Talents. Mike was the Ultimate Creative Collaborator the Synergy was fucking Insane like Two People living as One. Mike was the kind of Friend that We didn’t even Need to Talk, No verbalization Necessary to Communicate through just a series of Looks You’d know exactly what either of Us was Thinking/Feeling. It was Uncanny it Really fucking was. I image that being Friends with Mike equated to the Unexplained Link between sets of Twins.

Mike was also one of the Friendliest, Most Open Minded, Loyal, Caring, and Zen like People to ever walk the fucking Planet. I appreciated that being an Introvert who Spends Far too much Time in My own Head (sometimes to My Detriment) being Motivated by My Emotions. One of if not the Best piece of fucking Advice that has served Me well Over a Vast number of Years I got From Mike. I forget the exact Details other than We were Hanging Out in some Public Place, and I started to get Paranoid as a Motherfucker for some reason I can’t Remember. Mike Stared Me Dead in the Eye and in all seriousness said “Maybe what You think is going on ISN’T Going on because its all in Your Head??!”

           

Sad to Say that for Several Years Mike and I lost Touch until Our fucking Cliche finding One Another on (and it Pains Me so to Admit) Facebook back before Zuckerberg and I got into Our Battle of Wills. I will say this One of the first fucking things I did when the Bullshit FB shit happened I almost immediately exchanged Phone Numbers to Keep FB communications to a minimum. Unfortunately I ended up Abandoning Facebook which inadvertently lead to another Period of Separation if You will. Time went by and We ironically reconnected again on FaceBook, but it was Through My Wife who acted as My FB Middle Woman. From then on We talked several times a Month, but the Coolest Part was no matter how long it had been once We were reunited it wasn’t awkward or Weird in Any way whatsoever. Mike and I would simply Pick Up exactly whereWe left Off like No Time had passed at all.

My One and Only Regret is Not Seeing Mike in Person Face to Face since the Trip I took Junior Year to Visit Him. Technology has the Power to Connect, But it has No Personality. Some things can Only be done in Person there is absolutely No Technical Equivalent and Never fucking will be.

           

In Closing : I will Never Forget or Stop Missing My Dearly Departed Friend who I am sure is Giving Them Hell in Heaven.

Thanks for Giving a Shit & Reading,

By Les Sober

Letting GO

We all need to learn to let go at some time or another. We first learn to let go of our mother’s hand on the first day of school. We learn to let go of old pets who die, sometimes at very young ages. Or learn to let go of friends.

My friend just died. He wasn’t particularly close to me for many years but everyone we were close to at some point or another still holds somewhat of a space. Even if we haven’t been to that part of our mind or heart for a very long time.

But some of the hardest things to let go are not people. They are not pets and they are not letting go of other people’s hands. It is letting go of the very things in our own characters that hold us back. It is hard not to lean on these crutches in times of boredom, in times of anxiety, in times of doubt. But we all go back eventually to something that may hold us back.

   

While it is holding you back though, you may not even realize. Who the heck realizes that a bad hobby or a bad friend or a bad partner is bad until after it is over and you think to yourself what the hell was i thinking…. Unless it is something obvious like drugs or alcohol, well even that may not be obvious to some. It is certainly becoming obvious to me.

If you look at yourself thinking what the hell am I doing, then you need to be doing something else. I wonder that frequently with some of my actions and some of my inactions. Once you start having to build a web of lies around yourself in order to keep out some of the lesser desired elements of yourself or of your past then well it is not right.

   

So I sit here writing, my body is in 2020 and my mind is in the spring of 2010 picking flowers and my heart is somewhere floating around in 1997 wondering if maybe we could all meet someday for lunch. Frankly I would prefer fish and chips but I already have a party of three booked for fish and chips so my level 2000 body parts will have to come up with something more creative.

   

So as I embark on my soon to be new set of eyes, well Lasik surgery, I wish that the new eyes could somehow bring me a new me. I mean it will be a new me, I will be able to see at night and live the night like I never was able to before. And I am so excited.

I’m up all the time at night anyway, this will just be a rather much needed addition. I really haven’t know for about five or ten years whether my lack of going out at night relates to my getting old and boring or the fact I get blinded by other drivers past 7pm. Again I’m ready for cartwheels.

   

Even though all my body parts and organs may not be in the same kind of place, I see something no one else sees inside of me. Hopefully my new eyes give me another kick in the ass in a world full of fat asses with no kick left in them. That is far more important then ever having my heart, body, and mind in the same room for a cup of tea.

  By SpaceDog