Tag: LSD

Ivy Savage and The LSD Incident

Preface:

There a couple of things I feel it is imperative that I mention before our story begins.

  1. My dear friend The Arminian was dating this girl named Ivy Savage for a while. The relationship was short and ended in a total full blown Shit Show.
  2. Ivy Savage is not her legal birth name, nor has she changed it legally either. Point being I didn’t change her real name to Ivy Savage.
  3. This story took place many moons ago when I dealt drugs. At the time of this story I and my partners in crime had a batch of LSD called Black Magic. BM got its name for the Black Abstract Swirling Design on one side. BM was the strongest acid We ever had by far, and because of that We cut the Hits in half and sold them as regular Tabs.

Ladies & Gentalmen here for the first time ever, I give you Ivy Savage and The LSD Incident!

It was one of those long monotonous summer days the kind where you feel like you’ve been suspended in time and space. The Armenian and I decided to forego collage to loitering around town selling drugs. Our trademark drug if you will, the one we were best known for was our LSD.

We had just picked up 3 new sheets of blotter acid from our connection who was some weird androgynous motherfucker named Sam Antha  that we met along our travels. It was a friend of a friend type deal, and we met him when we where looking to score some weed. For some reason I always felt the urge to hit him which I never did, but dear god did I want to.

That day we were bumming around Ivy’s parent’s house in the Upper Middle Class Suburbs with its large houses and big green lawns. It just so happened Ivy’s little brother Tidbit was also hanging around with a few of his Preppy wannabe be Hippy friends.

Now killing time was a fucking art form where I’m from, and thats why all the kids did was drink/drugs was out of nothing more than sheer boredom. I was out on the backyard deck drinking beer and smoking pot with The Armenian when Tidbit came outside to join us. Tidbit inquired about obtaining some acid so We hooked him and his little buddies up. When Ivy found out she got pissed off but not why you may think. She wasn’t angry because We hooked Tidbit up with the acid, but rather that she would have to keep an eye on him and she had her own drugs to do.

Tidbit and his Pals went off to his room to drop the acid and listen to classic rock like the cliques the were. The Armenian and I continued to party out on the deck while Ivy darted about franticly ranting about god knows what. Ivy was doped up on a cocktail of pharmaceutical drugs for being completely batshit crazy so we tended to ignore her when she started bugging out. The Armenian finally talked Ivy off the ledge (which was no small task I assure you) and she was sitting on the couch drinking Gin out of a Tea Cup.

We were sitting around the living room having decided to abandon the deck for the A/C inside when We heard a commotion. We could make out that it was coming from upstairs so We went up to investigate what was happening. The noise got louder as We reached the 2nd floor, and We could establish the sound coming from the Bathroom. Tidbit’s friends were no where in sight to shed any light on the current state of affairs. The Armenian leaned towards the bathroom door so he could hear a bit better and reported it was Tidbit but he had no idea what the issue was. At last We figured We had only one choice and that was to open the bathroom door and see for ourselves and thats what We did.

Once We flung the bathroom door open We saw Tidbit sitting on the toilet with his pants around his ankles. He had this look a combination of shock, awe, and trama that left him looking utterly horrified. I then asked Tidbit what in the hell was his problem was and no one was prepared for his answer.

Tidbit told us that he was tripping balls and had to talk a shit so he went to the bathroom, sat down, and got ready to handle his business. Apparently half way through the process things went slightly astray. When asked to elaborate further because unless this was an LSD inspired celebratory shit scenario he had more explaining to do. That is when Tidbit said

“I came in here to take a dump and my shit fucked me in the ass, I know what its like to be Gay.”

The Armenian and I broke into instant laughter and were shoved abruptly into the hall by an irate Ivy. Ivy managed to calm Tidbit who then retreated back into his room. I have no idea what he told his Pals about what happen if at all, but I do wonder from time to time.

Thanks for READING,

Les Sober  

My Decade of Debauchery : The Foreshadowing Preface

After High School I didn’t have a fucking clue what the hell to do. I was young, and hated authority in any form. Needlessly to say I was jobless and had NO DESIRE to ever enter the Workforce. I had no desire to become one of those poor people who waste the prime years of their life at work only to retire and resent it. I drank like a fucking fish while smoking cigarettes excessively from the time I opened my eyes to the time I passed the fuck out. I was on numerous illicit substances usually a combination of several daily morning, noon or night. I was what is referred to as a “Functioning Drug Addict” which simply means I can party my ass off and still function.

I  was EXTREMELY Opinionated and not afraid to state it no matter where or when I had an opinion on every fucking thing there was or is. My Mother I remember took me aside one day and said,”You have to watch your mouth because unless someone REALLY knows you at some point you’ll insult, offend, shock or anger someone, and their going to turn around and punch you in the face.”

I lived at home with my Mother as by then my parents had been divorced for a couple years. I also had the habit off pissing off one of my parents after a few months and then bailing to go live with my other parent. This was great for at one point I was living with my Father in a Dope Apartment in the center of town over a fancy ass restaurant, and was never there because of work and he was dating a good bit ( I met several women who’s names and faces I forget and don’t mind that I’ve forgotten.) So I had the place all to my self I had the entire run of the place. I digress for now that that is a completely different set of Stories all together, and I plan to save for another time.

I also had an extreme impulsive control issues as I had none at the time, with a horrendous temper I inherited from my Father (R.I.P) Whatever I thought to say I said and whatever I thought to do I did immediately without a single thought about any possible consequences. It was also true I had a Knack for getting in trouble, but ultimately I never suffered any serious side effects (Example: Getting Arrested Numerous Times)

I knew I needed cash to fund my” Low Life” life style and feed my various addictions as the grew bigger and badder over time. I was what is referred to by Narcotics Anonymous as a “Garbage Can” meaning we didn’t have one particular drug we craved and indulged in as opposed to others. I did them them all. I did whatever I could get my deviant hands on because my true drug was MORE. I never cared what it was just give me MORE AND MORE, but I”ll never be satisfied. I did Cocaine (I snorted and injected it), Smoked Crack, Shot/ snorted Heroin, Dropped Acid (Paper or Liquid), Ate Ecstasy and MDMA, Crystal Meth, Peyote, Micro Dots, PCP, and the some pills such as Vicodin, Xanax, Valium, but thank fuck I got out of the drug game before Pain Pills became EXTREMELY POTENT and READILY AVAILABLE. The one addiction I’m glad I narrowly avoided is/was gambling as I’m positive I suck at it from the get go, and would have lost even more shit in my life than I did with the Drink and Drugs.

I don’t include Marijuana because I don’t consider it a drug and remain a daily smoker.

With no prospects for a future outside of our shitty little town that we both despised with people we fucking hated Armenian and I decided to Sell Drugs. I don’t personally consider Marijuana to be a drug, but unfortunately the DEA decides these matters. With that said we dealt mainly in Pot, LSD and PCP. If we didn’t have what you wanted at the time we knew where to get it. This lead to a  good bit of middle man work done on our part and of course charge a finders fee which could be paid in cash or stash we weren’t picky per say.

Now the Armenian was dating this girl E which meant it wasn’t just me and Armenian it was a goddamn package deal. On top of that bullshit we found out an acquaintance of ours named Guru who happened to be selling the same shit in the same area. Armenian and I decided joining forces was better than fighting for turf and customers, yet E was highly opposed to the idea and protested loudly. In spite of her opinion Armenian and I proposed to Guru our merger idea and we partnered up.

Thats Enough of That Now with More to Come.

Les Sober 

SpaceDog & Dullard’s Inter Dimensional Demise

Well hell I just don’t know wtf to begin with this little ditty but we must start somewhere. The Kiddies (Staff) mentioned in their post that as far as they knew SpaceDog was MIA, but they also stated I claimed to know the current whereabouts of SpaceDog and at that time I did. SpaceDog had taken sometime off during our move to live out his dream of true inner vision out in some god forsaken desert, and brought our Chief Editor Dullard Dillard along for the ride. As luck would have it while transversing the barren beauty of the vast desert plains SpaceDog and Dullard came across a small commune. The commune was a Hippy dinosaur disillusionment hangover from “The Love Generation” founded by Dr. Nirvana Namaste (who founded to commune in 1961 after fleeing from Berkley University where he was a professor of Geology.)

SpaceDog and Dullard were invited by the current Commune leader and son of Dr. Nirvana Namaste High Hippy Freedom Haberdasher or Clive for short. SpaceDog held lengthy conversations over the next 4-5 days talking about transcendentalism with the members of the Commune (dubbed The THC Ministry Farms by its 78 full time inhabitants) well into the wee hours of the morning.

SpaceDog had always dreamed of actually whipping up a big old punch bowl with what he called “Electric Kool Aid”, and figured he had an apt audience. So SpaceDog asked Clive if he could repay his and Dullard’s stay at the commune by making a metaphysical meditation medication. Clive not being to concerned of the risk because well they were 117 miles from anything remotely resembling civilization. SpaceDog went to work (as Dullard watched wide eyed in shock and Awe) without pause concocting his Enlightenment Elixir. First Spacedog filled a massive punch bowl (25 gallon to be exact) with cheap fruit punch that consisted mainly of water, sugar and red dye. The SpaceDog added the list of secret ingredients (which is a bit foolish to say as SpaceDog had told quite a few people over the years about his Holy Psychedelic Venture)

This is now time for our Disclaimer & WARNING:

  1. The views, opinions and actions portrayed in posts ARE NOT THAT OF f-yourblog.com.
  2. We DO NOT Advocate, Encourage or Endorse ANY AND ALL  extremely dangerous acts that our subject (or subject manner) may pertain to in a post, we are just mere reporters, Documentarians, and Story Tellers.

WARNING TO ALL READERS!

We at f-yourblog do not condone drug use and believe Addiction to be a serious and dire subject.

DO NOT ATTEMPT ANYTHING REMOTELY LIKE what SpaceDog did EVER. If you do the list of severely sick shit that can happen to you include but are not limited to:

HOSPITALIZATION, SEVER NEUROLOGICAL DAMAGE, SEVERE BRAIN DAMAGE, DEATH, EXTREME MOOD SWINGS, LACK OF REASON/COMMON SENSE, DIZZINESS, DELUSION, HALLUCINATION, HEART ATTACK/ STROKE, SELF DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR (IE. SELF HARM), INSANITY, PSYCHOSIS, PARANOIA ,AND DEMENTIA and thats just for starters.

NOW back to our story…

Spacedog proceeded to add MDMA, LSD, Ecstasy, Magic Mushrooms (Psilocybin), Peyote, Mescolilne, PCP, Micro Dots, DMT, Ayahuasca, Salvia Divinorum, DXM, Areca catechu, Kava (Piper methysticum), Ipomoea tricolor, Khat,Fly Agaric Mushrooms, Datura Stramonium (Hell’s Bell’s or Jimson weed), Wormwood, Heavenly Blue Morning Glory Seeds, Areca Catechu (Betel Nut), Plants containing Atropine/Scopolmine,Lysergic Acid Amide,Eboga,Mexican Calea,San Pedro Torch Cactus,Blue Egyptian Water Lily,Colorado River Toad Poison, and Cannabis Sativa. There were also likely a few more ingredients that were added in an impromptu manner in the making.

SpaceDog’s psychotic psychedelic punch made its debut at that nights Feast of the Full Moon Festival. Now this is were shit gets really fucking weird, and the details are sketchy as sketchy can get. According to the surviving Commune Members some of the things that occurred that evening are as follows:

  1. 9 Members Brains liquefied and drained out of their Nasal Cavities
  2. 2 Members Spontaneously Combusted
  3. 17 Ran off into the desert night claiming that they were going in search of The Gumdrop Gods to request that they be allowed to live in Candy Land Board Game, and have yet to be found.
  4. Several members climbed large cactuses nude.
  5. 3 Members became convinced they were ancient desert Tortoises and still believe that to this day.
  6. 4 Members were transported back in time, but their destinations in the historical timeline are uncertain.
  7. 11 Members blasted off into outer space to have a foot race using the Rings of Saturn as their race track.
  8. 1 member reverted from a full grown adult into a barely viable fetus.
  9. A Couple of Members listened to Chumbawamba and Tub Thumped one another to death.
  10. 6 Members actually jumped out of their own skin.

But what happened to SpaceDog and Dullard Dillard you ask? Well I can tell you what I’ve been told so here goes:

  1. Dullard Dillard allegedly came face to face with his Doppelgänger. A Doppelgänger is a German word that means “A Ghostly/Paranormal identical double or counterpart of a Living Person”. The Myth is if you encounter an apparition of yourself is/was an Omen of imminent death. The best way I can explain this subject further is “The Omen of Death” refers to a similar belief in Doppelgängers that if you encounter your Doppelgänger you will cease to exist. Think of it this way its the same as adding a positive number 1 and a negative number 1 together (-1+1=0). It was reported that when Dullard came face to face with his own Doppelgänger (No one else there saw Dullard’s Doppelgänger based on what happened though its considered the cause of Dullard’s disappearance) he exclaimed “I’m You, Your Me, together its We”, and then proceeded to turn inside out, outside in, inside out, outside in again then he simply imploded.

  1. SpaceDog Fared a much less detrimental outcome though it is equally bizarre. SpaceDog is alive but is still tripping his celestial balls off thus details as to his exact whereabouts are unknown. SpaceDog keeps referencing a “Emerald Triangle” (a infamous area of Marijuana Smuggling Routes) so we assume at this point he’s headed North West possible to Canada.

Thus we find ourselves at the end of this tale of Oddities, and I leave you to make up your own minds as far as wtf went down that night in the vast Desert.

Thanks for the Read,

Les Sober

LSDeity

I don’t believe anyone knew his actual name but as kids we called him Smiley Jesus. You would only see him bare foot leisurely wondering through my and surrounding neighborhoods in summer. Besides the bare feet he also preferred to be shirtless wearing a red pair of 1970 high school gym class shorts like a personal uniform. Obviously looking like the traditional white version of christianity’s Jesus along with his penchant for constantly smiling earned him the nickname Smiley Jesus.

I found out from my father years down times long twisting road a basic backstory biography about Smily Jesus. First off he didn’t find ANY OF THIS OUT for Smiley Jesus NEVER spoke a single word as far as any of us knew he just paced around smiling and not bothering anyone at all.

My father had found out from some of our neighbors that Smiley Jesus occasionally mowed various peoples lawn for cheap. My father admitted he had hired Smiley Jesus to cut our lawn BUT said it was by far the strangest social interaction of his life. My father went on to explain that Smiley Jesus only spoke a sentence or two max and was unable to answer basic questions pertaining to cutting lawns he would just stare vacantly not saying a single thing. Also in spite of the reference no one told my father Smiley Jesus’s real name ,and he never found it out on his own. Some how the two of them managed to do business so to speak a few times over the summers.

Now a friend of our next door neighbor was in fact also a dear friend of Smiley Jesus’s family and knew what his story actually in fact was. Again his actual name was not mentioned as he was referred to during the conversation as he and the story’s bottom line was this. Smiley Jesus was a strait A student (that was a member of even fucking club and School events) a well rounded over achiever who upon graduating high school was accepted to Princeton University back in the late 60’s. Smiley Jesus excelled in chemistry (on a rocket scientist level) and had access to a full laboratory ,and he for some unknown reason started manufacturing LSD. That was until one batch he made was systematically fucked up, or in plain english a “bad batch”. Apparently Smiley Jesus didn’t know about or decided not to use a volunteer genie pig and tested his product personally. Needless to say he totally fried his fucking brain and destroyed any possible future he had.

I’m ending the story there with no wise life lesson or tragic hero sob story, or cautionary tale shit. The guy made a bad life decision and fucked over his life.