maggots – f-your blog

CLEAN FACES

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring CLEAN FACES by the Content Creator known as Burden. Burden Claims Their Work as “For those who are no longer human. For those who can’t relate. Videos range from unruly despair to unrecognized rage. Deprived Visions.” Who or Whom Burden is remains to be seen, but Here’s a would be Rundown of this Obscure Channel. Burden is a Small Channel that has a Collection of Strange/Unexplained/Mysterious Videos that could Possibly be an ARG, an Art Project, Gorilla Advertising, or Just the Crazy fucking shit Spewing from Someone Who forgot to take Their fucking Medication.

Burden’s Stats::

First Showed Up on October 2, 2009
Has a Total of 7.86 Subscribers
It has a Total of 469,063 Views
The Name at the End of the About Message is Signed by Deprived Visions Why and for What Reason We have Yet to Discover.
Your Ride In The Foggy Tunnel Of Time was Posted on September 10, 2020
Your Ride In The Foggy Tunnel Of Time has a Total of 1,673 Views
The Channel has just Over a 100 Videos in All.

OUR TAKE:

Honestly Our Best Guess is it’s some Seriously Dark Social Commentary on Society and the So Called Human Experience. The Stranger Scenes that may be Unsettling to Some of a Mass of Writhing Maggots, Rotting Animal Carcass, Horde of Hornets, and What Appears to be a fucking Bizzarro Autopsy seem to Symbolize Society/Humanity as a Large Unthinking All Consuming Mass of Parasitic Creatures that Lack Personality and Individuality. Also the Use of Clips from a Popular American TV Show Only Fuel the Social Commentary Hypothesis as Morning TV Shows are Know for being Mindless Fluff Masquerading as Entertainment. Some Key Points the Show Hosts Touch on that Promote the Social Commentary Hypothesis are the Following:

“…Heal the Wounds in the Country Not Exacerbate Them.”
The Phrase “Tumultuous Times”
“Lost Sight of Ourselves…”

Yet in the End it’s Up to You to Decide for Yourself What You Believe CLEAN FACES is and is About or What the fuck it is Meant to Be.

Description By Creator Burden:

Wake up and smile. To be more present and in the moment.

It is What it Is,

Presented By Les Sober

Shits and Giggles: STATIC BEEF

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring the Original Version and the 10 Year High Quality Version of STATIC BEEF by Daniel Stetich. STATIC BEEF is a Stop Motion Project by Stitch and a Couple of Friends John LaMonica and Jeremiah Clark. Static Beef is Perfect for a Laugh granted You have a Rather Warped Sense of Humor. Static Beef is Short, Utterly fucking Absurd, and a Tad Violent which are all things We here at FYB are Fans Of. In Summation The Theater of the Absurd is Open for Business and Full of STATIC BEEF.

Original Version:

10 Year Anniversary High Quality Version:

It is What it Is,

Presented By Les Sober

Tidbits For Shits And Giggles: BEEF STEAK!

What Can I Say some times the Oddest, Strangest, Absurdist, or just Plain Stupidest Shit makes Me Laugh. I’ve said it before that My Favorite Joke is:

Why Do Ducks Have Webbed Feet? To Put Out Forrest Fires.

Why Do Elephants Have Flat Feet? To Put Out Flaming Ducks.

As You can see it actually makes No Sense Whatsoever, But it always makes Me Smile. So when I was fucking around Online I came Across this Video and for some Reason (Even I DOn’t Know What it Is) I got a real Kick Out of It.

So Without Further Ado Ladies and Gentlemen I give you BEEF STEAK!

Enjoy.

Brought To You By Les Sober

Tidbits For Shits and Giggles: Pete The Meat Puppet

Pete The Meat Puppet is the Equivalent of The Bastard Love Child of Pinocchio and Howdy Doody having a Seriously Brutal Acid Trip in Vegan Hell (where He’s made Entirely of Meat and Rules as the Vegan Dietary Anti-Christ) Set to Music.

Pete is Built out of Various Types of Meat Scraps by a Female Butcher who isn’t Married, and has a Womb as Welcoming as Death Valley. After Nursing Pete comes Alive unfortunately the Surprise makes His Mother’s Heart Explode like a Overfilled Water Ballon Killing Her almost Instantly. Pete’s Mother has just enough Time to Utter Her last Words “Pete find the Meaning of Life…..” before Shuffling off this Mortal Coil .

Honoring His Mother’s Dying Wish Pete sets Out into the World to Discover the Meaning of Life. Pete starts Off His Adventure Scrubbing SHitty Toilets at a Fast Food Burger Chain, but He Quickly Climbs the Corporate Ladder To Unparalleled Fame and Fortune. Pete ends up Living in the Lap of Luxury with His Trophy Wife, and 3 Kids in a Brand New McMansion surrounded by His Lavish Lifestyle.

Then Pete starts to Party and Falls Down The Slippery Slope of Alcoholism, Cocaine Addiction, and Hookers culminating in Pete’s Lurid Sex Tape being Leaked. The Drug Fueled Sex Tape Scandal leaves Pete Broke, Homeless, and Alone. Having Had it All and Lost It Pete is Forced to Resort to Prostitution just to Feed Himself and His Vicious Addiction.

Finally Pete hits Rock Bottom and Eats His Own Leg to Satiate Starvation. Pete redeems Himself and Becomes a Friendly Singing/Guitar Playing Hobo riding the Rails from Town to Town still looking for the Meaning of Life.

Enjoy.

Thanks For Watching,

Presented By Les Sober (A12:32M)

A Monday Night of Sickening Cinema: The City Of The Living Dead!!!

THE CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD is a 1980 Italian Zombie Splatter Horror Movie Directed by Lucio Fulci who also Wrote the the Screenplay, and plays Pathologist Dr. Joe Thompson in the Film. Although Fulci worked in a Wide Array of Genres as a Director, Screen Writer, Producer, and Actor over His nearly 50 Career in the Film Industry. Fulci garnered an International Cult Following for His Giallo (in the Movie Context, for Italian Audiences Giallo has come to refer to Any Kind of Murder Mystery or Horror Thriller) and Horror Movies. Due to the High Level of Visceral and Graphic Violence that present in Many of Fulci’s Films that He is Frequently Referred to as “The Godfather of Gore”, A Title Given to American Splatter Movie Gore Master Herschell Gordon Lewis.

The Movie was released in Italy in 1980 under the Title Paura fella cotta dei Mortifications Vivrnti in Italy which translates to ‘Fear in the City of the Living Dead’, and was Released in the United State in 1983 the Title Twilight of the Dead, which Resulted in a Cease and Desist Order from United Film Distribution Company due to the Title’s similarity to Their Own Film, George A. Romero’s Dawn of the Dead. Thus the Distributer, Motion Picture Marketing, withdrew the Film and Re-Released it under the New Title The Gates of Hell.

Brief Plot Summery:

The Movie is set in the Shunned Village of Dunwich (a Tribute to H.P. Lovecraft’s The Dunwich Horror), where the Priest Father Thomas commits SUICIDE by Hanging Himself which Results in a GATEWAY TO HELL Opening, and Turning loose a Ravenous Pack of ZOMBIES OF THE DAMNED! Meanwhile during a Seance in New York, Mary Woodhouse sees Morbid and Horrific Visions of the Priest’s Suicide, and its Dire Consequences leading up to a ZOMBIE ONSLAUGHT on All Saints Day. Mary then suddenly Collapses to the Floor and Convulses then She appears to Die, Only to be Rescued from Premature Burial by the Journalist Peter Bell. The Two Travel to Dunwich to DESTROY THE GRAVE of Father Thomas in order to Stop the MASS ZOMBIE INVASION!

An Italian Newspaper La Stampa’s review of the Film “Not recommended for easily impressionable viewers.”, with a Story that grew Progressively into a “Expressive Nightmarish Atmosphere”
Jay Carr of the Boston Globe said “A Film Only a Diehard Necrophile could Love”
Dick Fleming of The Daily Times “Scenes Purely for the Sake of Shock Value”
Ringle wrote”Idiotic Sleaze Fest with Nothing to Offer but an Abundance of Filmed Animal Innards.”
AllMovie “City of the Living Dead benefits from Fulci’s ability to Create and Sustain an Intensely Creepy Atmosphere…. the Blending of Graphic Shocks and Surrealistic Atmosphere .”

Movie Quote: Mary Woodhouse “The City of the Dead. The Living Dead. A Cursed City where the Gates of Hell have been Opened.” Enjoy.

We Hope You Enjoyed this Italian Supernatural Splatter Film’s Flesh Eating Zombie Fiasco as Much as We Did.

Thanks for Watching,

Presented By Les Sober

1,001 Words of Insanity

The Maggots dance in the Rancid, Rotting Flesh of a Damned Nation showered in Shit. Fuck Monkeys run amok fucking each other to STD ridden DEATH! Anger blazing into rage as I fuck the world silly with a rubber spoon, FUCK YOU BUDDY, FUUUUUUUUCK YOU BUDDY!

Eating hot shit sandwiches in Hell as Satan sucks Donnie’s tiny dick in a lake of fucking fire, towering fucking flames engulfing THE CITY OF FECES! Look up for no god shall be looking back just your own fucking demise. PLUNGED IN THE PIT ETERNAL ABYSS OF FILTH AND LIES!

The animals devour each other in fine dining restaurants, pleasantly popping pill after pill until their are Pharmaceutically FUCKED, BIG PHARMA IS NOW YOUR PIMP YOU PAIN KILLING PILL POPPERS!!

Commanding all Rapists to Rape their fellow Rapists to DEATH AND BEYOND! There is no power of man, of woman, of Human ITS A BULLSHIT COATED LIE! Pay me or Die, Pay Me or Suffer, Pay Me OR FUCK YOU.

Decapitate Hate watch the ruling Elite assholes dragged through the dirty streets being beaten mercilessly by the Enraged Citizens until they reach the GLORIOUS GORE of the GUILLOTINE. Hail the Queen of Hearts for OFF WITH THEIR SHIT FILLED HEADS! Lets the kids kick them for fun.

Frolicing in the BLOOD of Traitors, kicking the Corpses of the Corrupt King and his crooked court of conniving criminal cunts.

Fuck all the ignorance, fuck the unjust laws, your rules are broken as your fucking souls, the leaders failed to lead and thus shall decay in the shit filled swamp. FUCK AUTHORITY, FUCK THEM ALL!

Dirty Bastards battling Sons of Bitches for the vile victory over the brow beaten patriots, TREASON EQUALS DEATH its the ONLY JUSTICE for TRAITORS! Eat the Elite, Cannibalize their Capitalism, DEVOUR THE RICH ALIVE! Burn the mansions, sink the Yatchs, Reclaim their lands, remove them from their blood money, and watch them die before you begging for forgiveness while they gave NONE.

Horny Hypocrites consuming scandalous sex molesting each others children while drunk on shitty champagne and burn crosses on the lawn, THEY ALL DESERVE DEATH and its all they should be GIVEN.

6 feet under for their sin, let them suffer, let them squirm in anguish, their misery delights me, I smile wider the more of the corrupt get killed. Place their severed heads on Pikes and HOLD THEM HIGH!

Money molests the minds of man and excites their malicious malevolence, Capitalism is a death sentence FUCK LIFE WE ALL DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! I can’t witness this monstrosity of monstrous madmen, I GAUGE OUT MY EYES ITS PROVIDES RELIEF I can no longer see the Tragedy of Terror, the shit show of hanious horror, the demise of mankind is in itself BLIND!

Ignorant asholes wax poetic about shit they know nothing about the pompous pricks, the wannabe intellectuals hails the PRETENTIOUS HIPSTER HOLOCAUSTS!! Trendy twats coveting their tech addiction and bullshit beards. Your Mustache ISN’T ART ITS JUST HAIR THAT GROWS ON YOUR UPPER LIP ASSFUCK.

Computers are pieces of overpriced, over used SHIT, ISO is the endless Anti-Christ, Amazon Ate America, Fuck Zuckerberg the millennial Motherfucker, Vacant minded Silicon Vally Vixens whoring Apps inlet of ass, Computers are flawed as the people who use or create the fucking vile stack of hot fucking shitcakes.

Your diploma is a SCAM, a piece of paper that is ultimately just that A LOWLY PEICE OF PAPER. Your no better or smarter than anyone you just paid for the info and that doesn’t make you smarter than others it makes YOU A FUCKING MORON who spent 4 years doling out fistfuls of cash for a diploma and NO FUCKING JOBS when you graduate.

Music IS SHIT, FILM IS FUCKED, ART IS DEAD. Books are Bastardized digitally. LEAVE ME CUNTS, LEAVE ME ALONE TO DETEST YOU, MOCK YOU, SHIT ON YOU. I HATE YOUR EXISTENCE.

Save the World by Killing Yourself, Mankind are glorified fucking parasites, eating, fucking and shitting our way through existence. Humans are MORONS masquerading as Educated assclowns. WE DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW A GODDAMN THING DO WE, DO WE?!!!

Its all a “educated” guess, calculated risk, smoke and mirrors in a piece of shit Pony Show. There is no Fate, fate fucked us all. Destiny is a Dumbass. The Universe is a giant cosmic Vagina that birthed the bastard Mankind to destroy it all.

Power is nothing, control is an outdated concept, DO YOUR FUCKING JOB, is that too much too ask for fucking fuck’s sake. Your just another sack of fucking flesh filled with various organs and a nervous system SO FUCKING WHAT, WHATS SO FUCK SPLENDID ABOUT THAT EXACTLY?

Oh what fucking fun it is no to be a goddamn Jelly -fucking -Fish theres an scientific biological accomplishment WHAT A LOAD OF HORSESHIT. FUCK THE END, I EMBRACE THE NEW OF BEGINNING!

Time is a TOOL used to deprive Humans of their fucking LIVES, make money to pay bullshit bills and tyrannical taxes, they monetize your life to CONTROL YOU, MONEY YA CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT IT, and they designed it that fucking way, FOR THEIR LUXURIOUS LEISURE dancing on the broken backs of a Society of SHIT, FUCK RESISTANCE! CHAMPION REVOLUTION!

Its broken so BURN IT and BUILD ANEW! The unknown is NOT to be FEARED for change can save this sinking shit ship. OUT WITH THE OLD ASSHOLE WAYS! Welcome in THE NEW WAY.

Scrape the Shit System, Destruction of all Institutions, Kill the Courts, Punish the piece of shit Politicians, CRUCIFY THEM ON HE FRONT LAWN watch their putrid carcasses picked clean by Blasphemous Buzzards and Vulgar Vultures circling above.

The Old Way leads only to damnation no salvation in DEATH. Evolution will elevate humanity up from the steaming pile of scummy shit that We ARE FUCKING DROWNING IN as the uneducated cocksuckers wallow in their own filth satisfied to stay fucked because if its not affecting them then FUCK IT THEY SAY and FUCK THEM I SAY.

Thanks for Enduring,

By Les Sober

Somethings That Rent Space In My Head

Throughout the day I have these rather random thoughts that just jump into the Chaos contained within My Cranium. I decided to write these 2 word to a sentence long tidbits of creativity down as they came to me during the day. They are complied in a sort of sudo list from first to last, but run together back to back makes them even more interesting I think.

So without further ado here We Go:

The Banana Spider has laid Eggs in My Brain

These Poor People have No Faces

The Old Lady with Coupons is Killing Me

I am My harshest Critic By Far

If You spent time in My Head You’d go Insane

Dirt Road Dogs are giving Chase

The New becomes The Old

Narrow passings on the Edge of Accident

Indifference is Compliance

Mr. Mindfucker is at it Again

The Tangles Webs We weave when We try to Deceive

What the fuck is Really Going On

Trailer Park Psychotics

Futilely trying to Conquer Forces Beyond Our Control

Embryonic Evils & Aborted Faith

Disillusioned Illusionist’s ill Ilk

The Dark Cloud Dominates the Sky

Aggressive Apologies from Assholes

Fake Fucking Fake for It is False and a Fraud

Trapped in the Chaotic 3 Ring Circus of Humanity

Capitalism Cannibalizes Itself and We All Die In Vain

Like a Deer in the Headlights We freeze watching the Oncoming Death

The Morbidity of Maggots

There are Three Sides to every Story

Cerebral Symbiotic Shortcuts of the Mind

Everyone is Eye fucking multiple Screens

Converting the Remain of the Dead to Fuel Our Lives

We Too will be Biologically Recycled

The Weeping Willows can Cry No more

At the Core of the Curse lies Damnation

Who let this Lunatic out of The Asylum

Decapitate The Deplorable’s for the Guillotines Delight

Beyond The Coin We Barter

Lobotomizing the World’s Think Tanks

There’s an Exorbitant Price Ones Pays for Paradise

Snow amplifying the Silence

That Crackhead Kid is soaked in Squalor

Picking Labels off Our Beer Bottles and Minutes off Our Lives

Space is Infinite just like Thought

Uneducated Idiots will be lead like Lemmings to The Slaughter

If the Eyes are the Window to The Soul then some should Remain Shut

Who Kills Unicorns for Sport

The Pied Piper is Pissed the Rats ran off

Seeking Peace while Waging War

And The Barbarians are at The Gate…..

Thanks for Reading, By Les Sober

Try Scamming Me & I’ll Royally Fuck Up Your Day PT. 2: Counterstrike

I left off explaining in the last post that some Absurd Asshole(s) had contacted via text about trouble processing my Health Insurance Payment that was a BLATANT SCAM. In stead of flipping out and going batshit crazy with rage/revenge I would try a different plan. Here is what I did.

I did some Bong Rips and began to think about a plan. Now not only did I want to piss the Scam Artist off as much as they had me I also wanted it to be fun to do. I ended up coming around full circle by selecting Text Messaging as my form of communication versus Cell Phone Call. If I had chose to call the number included in the Text I know what the fuck would have happened.

I would have simply lost my shit and started cursing out the guy on the other end of the phone. The swearing then would be followed by a slew of insults and then violent threats of bodily harm. I seem to have inherited my Father’s intense source of Anger. My motto in situations like this is if you try and fuck with me or fuck me over I will return the favor 100 fold, BUT I digress.

Then I concocted a phony Movie Company Called Von Dire Films. Now Von Dire I thought should be a scummy, underground, indie, sleazy, offensive, and troubling films with titles like “Corpse Farm: A Return to Flesh” or some weird shit like that. I then came to the conclusion that Von Dire Films was a Self Promotional Merchandise Super Sluts who TEX BOMB the Hell out of random people hoping to secure some new fans/customers.

Here are some examples of the Von Dire Film Solicitation Texts:

Text 1.

You have reached Von Dire Movie Production Company. Unfortunately We are having budgetary issues while shooting our new Movie in Borneo called “Skull Fucking Your Bloody Skull”. We will be out of the Country for Filming for the next 8 weeks. Please leave any and all contact information pertaining to the specified project at Our Dark Web Website VonDiresFuckedUpFilm.Org

So to Our Fans We say “Fuck Off We’re Filming” & “Adios Assholes” so Thank You for Your interest in Von Dire International Snuff Film Productions LLC.

Text 2.

Von Dire Banned Films That with Mindfuck you like a Lobotomy!!!

WWW.VDBF.ORG

SUPER SICK SALE ALL WEEK LONG!!!!!!!!

Text 3.

Von Dire Film “Cannibalistic Coitus” Nominated for the Underground Picture of the Year at Cannes!!! Now Only $29.99!!!

See Our Website on the Dark Web for further details!!!

STAY SICK CITIZENS!!!!!!

TEXT 4.

VON DIRE IS BACK! in the Celluloid Slaughter Business with his new demented movie “Meat Hook Justice” Coming to American Theaters Feb. 14th 2018! ADVANCE TICKETS Sales Available Through Our Dark Web Website. SO SIGN IN, SHOP, AND STAY SICK!

Text 5.

Von Dire’s Ferral Film Festival set for Bucharest Sept. 18th 2018!!!

Gorepon Group Packages Available on our DARKEST WEBSITE!

HURRY BEFORE THEY SELL OUT!!!!!

GOREPONS START AT 12,000 BitCoin (Purchaser must have a Valid

PayPal account at time of Purchase)

Text 6.

Gorepon the Groupon of Grizzly Gore has current Tour Packages of

Killing Christ’s Kingdom Studios

VERY LIMITED TIME ON ONLY!!! DON’T THINK BUY. BUY.BUY.

TEXT 7.

VON DIRE Sinful Spoken Wicked Word Tour COMING SOON!!

Check Out Our Deepest Dark WebSite for Upcoming Information!!!

Have Your check books ready!!!!

Text 8.

Von Dire Biography 4 Sale!!! “Bloody Genital Mutilation: My Life Growing Up in Antartica” ON SALE! LIMITED NUMBER PRINTED!

ORDER NOW,NOW,NOW!!! (Sale Price 165 Euros) !!!

All We need is Your Social Security Card Number for verification of Purchase!

Text 9.

Von Dire Films Presents Bloody Sod Bollock’s

“Shoot My Face Off I Like It” Disturbing Documentary of Damnation

For Sale For LOW, LOW PRICE of 900 Yen!!!

All We Need is Your Debit Card Number and Pin Number!!!

Text 10.

Von Dire’s New Gothic Novel

“The Insurance Sucubus Slayer: Cannibalize The Conman”

Available now on BrutalBooks.Net for $49.99

All We Need is the Routing Number from a Personal Check!!!

Text 11.

Von Dire is Von Damit in “Demonic Dolphin Rape Cave 2”

Streaming on FuktFilms.Net for just the low price of $4.99 for

the 1st Minute and $2.99 each Additional Minute!!!!!

Text 12. “Lust and Lobotomies: The Jeffery Dalhmer Story” by Von Dire

Inspired by Real Life Insanity!!

Torn from the Headlines of Horror!!!!

On Sale Now For Just 17 Easy Payments of $59.99!!!!

Text 12.

Von Dire’s work will Haunt you!!!!

Check Out at Goddamn VOnDire.Org!!!

Text. 13

Von Dire Fan Club Enrolling NOW!!!

Von Dire’s Fan Club The Bloody Bastards has LIMITED OPENINGS!!!

Rare chance to become an actual Fan Club Member just Sign Up For

12 Months for $6,499.99!!!

9 Months for $4,995.99!!!

6 Months for $3,499.99!!!

3 Months for $1,499.99!!!

1 Month for just a mere $999.99

All You need to do is just send ALL Your Personal Banking Information to Us Via Our Deep Dark Dark Website!!

Text 13.

“Suck My Ass It Smells” the Von Dire GG Allin Punkumentary Slated for Release in FALL 2019!!! ADVANCE TICKETS FOR SALE!!!! BUY NOW!!!!!

Text 14.

It has come to Our attention that you haven’t purchased anything in QUITE A WHILE!

Please contact Us IMMEDIATELY with Your Credit Card Information Ready!!!

VON DIRE FILMS LLC “The Sickest Shit on Celluloid!!!”

Text 15.

WHY haven’t YOU visited Our Deep Website VonDire.Org Website??????

Please Stop and SHOP! SHOP! SHOP!

Deals! Sales! Discounts!! DOUBLE Fan Club Member Points!!!!!

Text 16.

It has come to the attention of Our Billing Department that You have an Outstanding OVER DUE Payment Pending for $749,999.99.

If You FAIL to contact us within 24 hours We will turn Your Current Past Due Amount over to The United States Federal Debt Collection Agency.

It be in Your Best Interest to CALL US TODAY and PAY Without Thinking or Questioning it. You can also Log Onto Our Darkest Website and SPEND the Equivalent on Merchandise.

Text 17.

You’ve been CAUGHT by MasterLock Security Monitoring Systems on Illegal Von Dire DarkWeb Movie sites.

These Sites contained depictions of Extreme Fetishes, Donkey Shows, Eating Feces, Platypus Rape, S&M&B&D&GT, Pygmy Gangbangs, Live Sex Acts preformed by Sea Monkeys, Defamation of the Dead, Necrophilia, HillBilly Incest, Cattle Decapitation, Sex with Star Fishes, Genital Mutilation, Uniques, Rectal Insertion of Foreign Objects, Triple Fisting, Nipple Clamp Carnage, Group Masturbation, Coffin Coitus, Blood Lust Orgies, Vaginal Vomiting, Testicular Torture, Midgets Running a Train on a WNBA Center, Amputee Stump Humping, Skull Fucking, Ejaculating Blood, Among Other Offenses.

If You Do Not PAY the Fine of $15,499.99 to Us in Target Gift Cards OR Cigarettes WE WILL REPORT YOU TO THE NSA IMMEDIATELY POST HASTE!

Text 18.

Cunt-Fart & The Rotten Peckers have just signed a contract to record the entire Soundtrack for Von Dire’s Short Student Art Film

“Sadistic Sex Slug Sodomy”

Release due February 1st at MIDNIGHT through Our Super Sick Website!!!

Members get unlimited listening!!!

So Send Us a Photocopy of Your Driver’s License and a Blank Persona Check or Debit Card!!!!

ONLY $975.99 While Supplies Last BUY NOW WITHOUT DELAY!!!!!!

Shitting and Fondling Included for an Additional Fee of $64.99!!!

Text 19.

Visit VONDIREMERCH.ORG(Y).NET NOW!!!!HURRY!!! GO!!!!

Discount Sale Starts This Friday at Midnight on Our Sick As Shit Website TODAY!!!

BE THERE YOU BASTARDS & BITCHES!!!!!

Text 20.

Authentic Bulgarian Bahhbahchoubpa Available TODAY!!!!

Grown EXCLUSIVELY at Von Dire Feral Farms in the Sunless Lithuanian Country Side!!

JUST A MEASLY $49.99 a Bushel!!!!! LOGON TO OUR Sinful Website for Purchasing Information TODAY!!!!!

Text 21.

Von Dire Office Yard Sale is going on this Weekend!!!!

This is YOUR rare and utterly exclusive chance as a Fucked Up Fan Club Member to PURCHASE SPECIAL MERCHANDISE ITEMS SUCH AS:

A Mason Jar of Von Dire’s Shaved Pubes, VD’s PERSONAL ANTIQUE Genital Torture Kit, VD’s diseased and stuffed Pet Electric Eel, VD’s office Urinal, The German Industrial Nipple Clamps from VD’s Outfit he wore to the Vomitous Awards in 1993, AND SOOOOO MUCH MORE!!!! LOG ON NOW LEMMINGS!!!

Text 22.

Von Dire’s Scummy Spoken Word Collection “Decade of Debauchery” consists of the 1979-1991 Spoken Word Tours of Guam. ONLY $99.99! LOG ON AND BUY NOW and BUY A COPY FOR A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER NOW!!

Text 23.

Von Dire’s Lost Movie has just been Found!!!!

“Cockring Carnival of Karnal Cock Carnage 1888”

One of Von Dire’s 1st Films found misplaced in the Lost Soul Studios’s Film Vault!!!! ONLY $179.99!

EXTREMELY LIMITED TIME ONLY!!! This is a one time 36 Hour Special Secret Sale!!! Buy Several Copies NOW!!!

Text 24.

Von Dire POP UP RESTAURANT The VD Clinic IS HERE Tonight!!!

Just a small fee of $299.99 Per Person and $499.99 Per Plate!!!!

Dinner Includes:

Specialty Corrosive Cocktails, 17 Course Dinner (with the Main Course Being Bison imported from the Croatia), Damnable Dessert, and Sinister Cigars served with 110 year old cognac from Turkey.

PLUS A SPECIAL SHOWING OF VD Video Productions Catalog BUT HURRY SALE ENDS IN 76 Minutes!!

Text 25.

BREAKING NEWS!!! THIS JUST IN!!!!

Von Dire Dick Pics Leaked on

HollywoodHardons.com!!!!!!

NOTE TO READER: The texts above were sent starting Monday 6:15 am and Wednesday 11:39am. That would have been the end of it, BUT on Wednesday at 2:47 pm The Absurd Assholes sent me yet ANOTHER TEXT. The text was the same deplete piece of shit cheap ass scam bullshit as the last previous 3. Thusly at 7:48 Wednesday I returned to my antagonistic ways.

Text 1.

“Throbbing Taints and the Shitty Assholes” a Film By the Legendary Deplorable Director VON DIRE is a Political Commentary Documentary on the current sate of political affairs throughout this Evil Earth. Von Dire has already announced He will be filming the sequel “TrumpFucker: A Legacy of Failure” solely focusing on Donald Trump.

ADVANCE COPIES AVAILABLE FOR 210 BITCOINS!! CHECK OUT OUR SICKLY WEBSITE!! SOONER THE BETTER, BUY NOW!!

TEXT 2.

“Crippled Faith” is a collection of Gothic Poems about Death and Desire by none other than VON DIRE’S Little Bastard Brother VAN DIRE!! The book was released by Putrid Publishing which is his Older Brother VON DIRE’s Publishing House known mostly for publishing “Necrophilia Noir” a instructional guide for beginner Necrophiliac.

AVAILABLE AT OUR WEBSITE!!!

All We Need is a photocopy of Your Personal Financial Statements such as Banking Statement, to Complete Your Purchase RIGHT FUCKING NOW BITCHES!!!

Text 3.

Von Dire’s band SlutFuck will be playing a limited number of secret acoustic Tour all during the month of March.

DON’T MISS SLUTFUCK’S “EATING THE ASS OUTTA A DEAD DINGO” TOUR

WHERE WILL THEY BE PLAYING YOU ASK???!!

Log On to Our Wretched WebSite where You and Your Friends can PURCHASE CLUES to help You to locate a Secret Show NEAR YOU!!

The Cost Per Clue is Only $29.99!!! ACT NOW, BUY NOW!!!!!!

Text 4.

Cocktails To The Tits: A Von Dire Meet & Greet scheduled before the debut of VD’s most recent Diseased Film “The Cyclops: Cycle of Shitty Sex, Unbearable Sin, and the Abominable Aftermath”

Saturday Midnight Showing down at The Barfly Lounge!!!

Meet & Greet Passes $349.99 and Film Tickets for ADDITIONAL $74.99!!

Call The BarFly Lounge For Details RIGHT FUCKING NOW BABY!!!

Text 5.

“Zombie Hooker Handjobs” a Sick Flick by One of the most despised film makers in MOVIE HISTORY Von Dire’s Eldest Son Vin Dire!! COMING SPRING 2019!!!

Text 6.

“The Scumfuck Tradition & Legendary Luridness”

Von Dire’s FAMOUS AWARD WINNING ROCKUMENTARY chronicles Iconic Underground Hardcore Porno Punk Bands Such as the Following:

The Fuck Me Pumps, SlutFucker ( a SlutFuck Tribute Band), Slore, The Shitty Shitty Gangbangers, Agent Alien Anal X, The Prolapsed Rectums, Anti-All, Puss Buster, Rectal Invasion, Muff Diver & The Bull Dykes, Fighters and Fuckers, The Les Sober Scumbag 6, The Gash, Up To The Nuts In Guts, The Young Cocksmen, Hairy Clam and The Beavers, Death To Dipshits, Fuck Your Face, Mr. Fister, Cunt-Fart, Mangled Manginas, Vag The Impaler, Manstruation, The Salty Yogurt Slingers, Molested Melvin, The Perv’s, Rectal Leakage, The Bastards, and MANY MORE!!!!

Just Send Us the Deed to Your House as Payment!!! Purchase NOW!!!

Text 7.

Von Dire Presents “Disemboweling The Dead” a Perverse Film from Celluloid Sinn with LIMITED SHOWINGS AVAILABLE NOW STREAMING ON OUR SINFUL WEBSITE!!!! ONLY $197.60!!! ACT NOW!!!

Text 8.

The Sultan of Slaughter, The Duke of The Damned, The King of Corpses, The Barron of Blood, The Price of Perversion, The President of the Perverse, The Prime Minister of Sinister VON DIRE RETURNS AFTER 2 YEAR ABSENCE!!!!!

“Mouth Full of Maggots” is Von Dire’s Return to the Wretched Movie!!!

Already Banned in 49 States and 42 Countries World Wide!!!

Available in 90 Days for $129.99 or an Advance Copy for just $119.99!!!

Text 9.

The Von Dire Movie “Gargling With Broken Glass” is now available fully remastered in GORE VISON !! Available Now For $665.99!! Gore Vision Glasses NOT INCLUDED! Gore Vison Glasses SOLD SEPARATELY and can be PURCHASED for $349.99!!!

Text 10.

The Satanic Semen Society to induct Infamous Film Maker VON DIRE into the Sleaze Hall Of Fame on Julember 32nd!!! Watch the Induction on PPV On Demand for $49.99 or Stream it LIVE on our Sinister Website for $74.99!!!!

Text 11.

BREAKING NEWS!! YUGOSLAVIAN FILTH FILM DIRECTOR VON DIRE!!!

VON DIRE was Arrested and charged with Crimes Against the Indigenous People of PogoPogo while filming his latest movie

“The Bloody Savages of The Flesh Forrst”

Stay Up To Date on this SHOCKING News Story by Subscribing to Our NEW YOURUBE Channel for a Low Monthly Charge of $79.99!!

WTF R U WAITING 4?!!

That My Readers is where it has ended for now, and We will have to wait and see if this situation will continue in the near future/future.

Thanks For Reading,

Les Sober