Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (37/365)

“Filthy, come On Bud You’re blocking the fucking Doorway.” said Dizzy with a Hint of Frustration and Concern.

“Must have been Rotated by The Serpents in My Sleep is all.” replied the Bum in a Gravely Growl like Bear Yawning after Rising from Hibernation.

“Sure Thing Filthy I’m sure it was the Sleep Serpents and What have You just Please get the fuck out of the Way.” said Dizzy growing more Demanding by the Minute.

   

The Bum strained and sighed as He dragged Himself to His feet. He then peered around on the Ground collecting His various Belongings into a Pile after which He then Inspected with Great Concern that Each and Every Item was accounted For. Once the Bum had completed His process He inquired about a Possible Green Assistance Program Payment.

Lee had absolutely No Clue what the Man was referring too, that was before Dizzy smacked His arm to get His attention. Lee watched as Dizzy pulled a Couple of crinkled Up Dollar Bills from his Wallet, and a Joint from behind His Ear which He then promptly handed to the Man. Lee looked at Dizzy who Nodded His Head Slightly and motioned towards the Man by Rolling His Eyes with the Classic “I’ll Explain this shit Later, Now JUST DO IT.” Expression Plastered across His face. So still trying to process the whole situation Lee forked over Five Dollars adding He wasn’t Holding.

       

“Thank You Sires for Your Divine Tribute to this truly Down Trodden Old Soul. Go Be on Your Way Now Royals the Court will not Wait as The War Tribunal is Chomping They are Chomping at the Bit. They want to Cry Havoc and Release Their Dogs of War Upon the World, and Revel in the Retribution!!,” Hollered the Homeless Man in a Grand Fashion while Bowing Ceremoniously Ushering Lee and Dizzy into the Apartment Building.

       

Dizzy followed closely Behind Dizzy as They entered the Cramped Little Lobby which must have Measured a mere 10 feet by 10 feet and Not a Hair more. There was a Bare Light Bulb suspended from the Low Lying Lobby Ceiling that Swung ever so Slowly back and Forth flickering every so Often which Lee found to be a Bit Unsettling to say the Least.

The Floor was so Gritty from the Layer Upon Layer of Compounded Dirt and Grim it felt like walking on fucking Sandpaper. The Walls were Painted in a Shade of  Sickly Olive Green that reminded Lee of a  Defunct Prison, a Mental Hospital Throw Back from the fucking 60’s, or perhaps an Abandoned Military Facility.

       

The Paint was Not Only Faded and caked with Filth it was Cracked and Chipping off all over the fucking Place.  For all Intents and Purposes the Lobby Didn’t resemble that of an Legitimate Apartment Building, but that of a fucking  Abandoned and Decaying  State Run Institution that had been fucking Shut Down and Forgotten About all those Many, Many Years Ago.

Lee was beginning to Suspect that This Apartment Building as Dizzy claimed was in Fact a Shady Run Down Fleabag Hotel where You can Rent Rooms by The Hour, and Who’s Residents consisted of Late Stage Alcoholics Drinking Themselves to Death, Junkies of All Kinds, Mentally Ill People whose Family as well as Society had Left Behind, Petty Low Level Criminals and Thugs, and Wards of The State.

        

Be Sure to Catch Next Weeks Riveting Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (38/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober (Posted 1:33 AM)

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (33/365)

Suddenly Dizzy turned to Lee, and surprised the hell out of Him which was Rare as Lee wasn’t easily Surprised.

“You ever Notice how a lot of times Someone You know Dislikes or even Hates Some other Person until that Person Dies, and as soon as the Person is Dead They aren’t assholes anymore? It’s as if by Dying the Person in Question is immediately absolved of all Wrong Doings during Their Life, and the People who Previously Bitched, and Talked Shit about Them Now have Nothing but Respect and Reverence for the Deceased Who when Alive was the very Person They swore was the Bane of Their Existence.” said Dizzy matter of factly as He finished Beer Number 4, and Ordering Beer Number 5.

       

Dizzy waited for the Bartender to return with His Fresh Beer before inquiring “Hey You got shit to do Today or are You free to fuck around Town , and get into some type of Trouble?!”

Lee thought to Himself and realized that He didn’t have a damn thing to do so why not see where the Afternoon would take Him.

“I got some time to Hang Out’n see Whats What.” answered Lee earnestly as He shifted uneasily in His Seat. Watching People was Lee’s Forte, and Interacting with Them Tended to put Him on Edge at First due to His Serious Trust Issues.

       

“Alright Dope. I’ll call My Buddy over at the Shitty Theater and tell Him We’re leaving are Cars, and He’ll keep an Eye on Them so They don’t get Towed or Fucked With.” announced Dizzy quite Energetically before requesting to use the Bar’s Phone.

This struck Lee as very Peculiar since People Now a Days all Live in Constant Contact with the Aide of the ever Prevalent Smart Phones so using a Business’s Landline struck Lee as Note Worthy. While Lee pondered this newly discovered Oddity Dizzy was engaged in an Increasingly Loud and Aggressive Conversation with His Buddy at the Theater over the Car situation ending with Dizzy slamming down the Phone Receiver violently several times for emphasis.

“Fuck I can’t believe there are People Born who will never know the succinct Satisfaction of Hanging the fuck Up on Some Douche by Slamming Down the Phone Receiver. Anyway He said He’d watch the Cars, He was just being a real dick about it is all. He’s a Moody little Motherfucker. Goddamn Temperamental Artist Asshole.” snarled Dizzy Seething with Frustration and Simmering in Contempt.

       

“Alright,” Dizzy continued having gathered His composure from His perviously infuriating Phone call, “Do You have any Bitcoin? Unusual Question, but Ride only Takes Bitcoin that’s the only reason I’m asking.”

“No I don’t own any Crypo Currency because I really don’t see the Point. What I mean is I know what Bitcoin is right, and I know how You can buy It. Then it starts to get Shady because for one where the fuck can You spend it outside of The Dark Web? I can’t buy fucking food with it or Pay My fucking Bills with it so what the fuck is it good for exactly?! ALSO the one question NO ONE has been able to Answer is HOW THE HELL DO I CASH OUT?! Where and How can I convert My Bitcoin into Actual Physical Cash?!” responded Lee now finding Him to be the one getting all Amped.

        

TUNE IN NEXT WEEK for the Next Breath Taking Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (34/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober (Posted at 12:31am Sunday)