The Wonderful World Of CANCER CHRIST

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring Los Angeles based DIY Reptilian Themed Grindcore Infused Hardcore Punk Metal Band CANCER CHRIST. As with Virtually Unknown Obscure/Niche Bands collecting information is a Bitch beyond Belief Believe You Me. The Mastermind and Frontman for CANCER CHRIST is the Notoriously Manic Anthony Mehlaff , and is Based on or Around His Rather Twisted Interpretation of Religion, Society, Jesus, and Satan Himself. The Band’s Musicians all adorn Snake Masks  and go by the General Moniker “The Snakeboys” although each Band Member has His own Specific Name (Example: Apocalypse Snake). That is it as far as the Standard Band info is Concerned as 99% of information pertaining to the Band are Interviews Mainly with Mehlaff and the Band’s Official Website.

Photo: Raz Azraai

Cancer Christ’s Origin Story According To Melhaff:

“Cancer Christ has seen the ailing not too distant future of this godless world. Our bleak existence needs a new, stronger word of God. Cancer Christ is the imperfect vessel to wage a holy war against those who wish to profit from a dying prophet’s words. Cancer Christ understands evil must be fought with true words and even truer actions; fire must be met with fire, darkness must be met with searing and powerful holy light. The Lords work takes some heavy lifting at times and major balancing skill. I was at Church—as I do every Sunday—and I began to get really fucking bored—as I do every Sunday at Church—and I began to snoop. I was looking for snacks or some of those good latex nun porn mags when I heard a faint shriek from deep inside the bellow of the church.

I followed the sound until I ended up in the basement. It was dank, dark, and hotter than hell. The shrieks were almost unbeatable. My heart was beating like a drum. I moved toward the sound. Flipped my phone light on and was shocked when I saw this creature: human body, snake head—he looked scared. He was also chained by his neck to the floor. As I moved closer, I noticed another Snakeboy, and another, and another. I think they were as scared of me as I was of them. I searched around the church, found a sledgehammer, and broke them free. We fled out the back door and after many months of rehab and prayers. I was able to start to understand the Snakeboys, they were as loving as they were vicious with sexual appetites like teenage boys. They ate all day, smelled foul, loved heavy metal, and ’80s horror and action violence. I had to channel their endless need to fight, fuck, and kill. It turned out they all played music.”

 

Mehlaff on The Subject of the Band Starting Their Own Church/Religion:

“We intent to open The Holy Church of Cancer Christ in 2023 and break ground in 2022. Follow the smoke and sure enough there will be the almighty fire of God and Cancer Christ along with The Serpents of Jesus. The Snakeboys will surely be there. Praise his mercy, praise his brutal power, and praise this soon to be over—great and tragic existence! The Church is driven by the word of God. We are excited for this world to end and for the new one to begin. Endless blood, rivers, oceans, even of the blood of the non-believers. Especially the false prophets and prosperity preachers. Watching them melt as we ride with JESUS is gonna be hard for me not to be hard.

What they forget is the love and that Jesus died for your sins. That shits paid for in full with blood. So, go out and fucking sin or what did the dude fucking get tortured for? I’m talking with God about this shit all the time and honestly, he’s always changing his mind. This idea that all sins are created equal is bullshit too. And no pedophiles, serial killers, cops, rapists. racists, bigots, or murders in the name of country get in. His rules, not mine. The Kingdom of heaven doesn’t need that bullshit vibe.”

Photo: Chad KelcoMelhoff On the Subject Of The Band’s Name:
“We addressed a problem, a cancer, mankind and provided an answer to that cancer, Christ. God wants this world to be inhabitable again when he figures out a solution to its major flaws and mankind’s major flaws. People confuse fire being that it’s made by the devil, God makes fire, that’s where he stuck that bitch Lucifer after he dropped his evil ass out of heaven and Lucifer tried a name change to help his own ego—Satan.

What a bitch name if ya ask me. Satan works in fire but works with rot. He has been trying to rot the world from the inside out with corporations, big lobby firms, politicians, judges, cops, bigots, racists, and homophobes.

The rot, the cancer was happening underground and has finally reared its ugly, weak, face and has gotten completely out of control. The solution? GOD’s light. God’s fire. God’s wrath. It’s then, his faithful soldiers will help re-create this world anew.”

Photo: Aaron Story

 

The Band’s Inclusive Message:

“The mission of Cancer Christ is to find lost souls to take up arms in this new and uncertain heavenly body. We accept all: black, white, gay, straight, trans and all others that wish to fight evil wherever it spews its putrid and vile wickedness.”

Photo: Cameron Acosta

Melhaff’s Motto:

“I stand for all the would-be scum that never considered Jesus an option,” says the musician, adding, “For the millions of demon worshippers that think Satan is tough or sick or down. I stand to let all those bitches know that God bitch slapped Lucifer out of heaven and only then did that punk-bitch become Satan. God fucks the hardest and he’s ready to fuck the world, whether you believe or not.”

Jesu

 

Caner Christ’s Mission Statement:

“Christ is dying. A venomous cancer consumes his body and weakens his mind. As each day passes, his light dims to a faint whimper and the darkness of evil shrieks with a toxic vigor as its foul and unholy power collapses the human race.

In Christ’s absence, Lucifer has begun testing their Dark Trinities supreme and destructive potency upon our weak and divided planet. The world heats up, disease consumes all and the old passive and fragile word of God falls upon deaf ears.

Cancer Christ has seen the ailing not too distant future of this godless world. Our bleak existence needs a new, stronger word of God.

Cancer Christ is the imperfect vessel to wage a holy war against those who wish to profit from a dying prophet’s words.

Cancer Christ understands evil must be fought with true words and even truer actions; fire must be met with fire, darkness must be met with searing and powerful holy light.

The mission of Cancer Christ is to find lost souls to take up arms in this new and uncertain heavenly body. We accept all: black, white, gay, straight, trans and all others that wish to fight evil wherever it spews its putrid and vile wickedness.

This undertaking will cause many casualties. The most extreme pain and torture will be experienced but we will not falter in our divine mission to secure a New God, (N.G).

Join us.”

Photo: Dillon Vaughn

Melhaff on the Band’s Newest Album “God Is Violence” (2024)

“There was a call to arms, and there’s this real profound connection we have to this brutal motherfucker known as Jesus,” Anthony Mehlaff about their most recent album. “We were seeing the decline of the planet and where shit was going, and we decided to make songs to release those bad feelings so we didn’t participate in all the satanic activity that’s been going on since the pandemic.”

Photo: Geoffrey Nicholson

 

BAND MEMBERS:

  • Anthony Mehlaff aka Saint Anthony – Lead Vocals/ Flamethrower
  • Snake Bossnoise – Guitars/Vocals/Samples/Slime
  • Piss Snake – Bass/Vocals/ Urine
  • Diesel Snake – Shred Guitars/Sleaze
  • Apocalypse Snake – Drums/Cums
Photo: Raz Azraai
  • ADDITIONAL SNAKEBOYS:
  • Chain Snake: Noise, Vocals, Chains
  • Candy Snake: Sweets
  • Snake Momma: Juggs, Christ Whistles, Confetti
  • Snake Babe: Sex, Pain
  • Missing Snake: Additional Live Drums
  • Rusty Snake: Bass on “SAINT ANTHONY’S SERMON”
  • Snake Girl : Hype Snake
Photo: Raz Azraai

Video List:

  1. “The Blood Of Jesus” (7″ Version)
  2. “Do You Wanna Go To Heaven” (Demo Version)
  3. “Prosperity Preacher” (7″ version)
  4. GOD HATES COPS

 

 

 

It Is What It Is,

  Presented By Les Sober

(SHAYE SAINT JOHN’S )TRIP #1 HOLLYWOOD

Welcome to Todays FYB Post featuring TRIP #1 HOLLYWOOD by Shaye Saint John. Shaye Saint John is a Fictional Character and Art Project Who Appears in a Series of Surrealist, Creepy Short Films, and is Brain Child of Creator Eric Fournier. In the 90’s, Fournier was a Member of the Punk Bands The Blood Farmers and Skelegore when He began working on the First Miss Shaye St. John Video. In 2003, the Character started a Blog at LiveJournal, and a YouTube Channel Named Elastic Spastic Plastic Fantastic was created in August 2006. The YouTube Channel Uploaded all 56 of the Saint John Videos from 2006-2007, But the Official Channel was Discontinued and Cancelled in December of 2007. Unfortunately the Creator of the Shaye Saint James Character Eric Fournier Died sometime back in 2010.

Relevant Note Pertaining to Shaye Saint John:

It had been quite a long fucking Time since We had Checked in with Shaye Saint John’s Youtube Channel and when We did Obviously Recently We Noticed Some Strange Shit. What We noticed was 90% of the Videos on the Channel have been Taken Down. As of Now all but 10 Videos (all from 6 years ago) remain Posted on the channel. We found this Rather Odd since one of the First things to Consider is the Content Creator Removed them, But in this Case the Content Creator is Died in 2010 so that’s Not It. So We decided We had to find Out more Information about What the fuck was Going on Since We are Huge fucking Shaye Saint John Fans.

We came Across Another Big Fan who was Able to Shed some Light on the Subject as it were. Apparently Youtube is doing Some fucking Weird ass Thing where instead of just Straight Up Deleting the Videos in Question.  They have Opted to Slowly Dismantle it Until in the End there is No Content Left on the Channel at which Point We assume Youtube will Delete it at Last. This Strategy as Far as We are Concerned makes No Sense What so fucking Ever because What the fuck Does Youtube think the Fans/Viewers Simply Won’t Notice the Slow but Steady Deletion of Content/Videos?! And what the fuck is the Point if All Youtube is Going to do Ultimately is Shut the Channel the fuck Down Anyways so Why Not just Pull the fucking Trigger and be Done with it?!

Then Again as Youtube as Evolved Over the Many Years it has Only become More and More difficult for Content Creators, but it has become Equally Frustrating for the Users of the Platform. There is No fucking Rhyme or Reason anymore since YouTube Doesn’t even Bother Bullshitting Users with Lame fucking Excuses. At this fucking Rate Youtube is going to fucking Implode in the Future Under the Weight of its Own Growing Nonsensical Fuckery.

The Bottomline here is SO FUCKING WHAT if the Shaye Saint John Creator Eric Fournier Died? Not trying to be fucking dicks about it, but Yeah We all end Up Worm Food or a Pile of Ashes in an Urn so fucking what of it?! We fail to see ANY fucking Point or Reason for Youtube to take down Fournier’s Videos or for Youtube to  just Straight Up Delete the Entire fucking Channel! There was a Small fucking Library of Content with a Substantial Viewership, and Again so what if the Content Creator Died?! Why should that be a Reason for Youtube to Shit on and Delete Fournier’s Legacy?!!

What fucking Harm is there in Keeping a Successful Channel Up for the Viewers New and Old to Watch and Enjoy the Content?! Not to Mention YouTube Gains Both Money and Users/Viewers BECAUSE of Kick Ass Content Creator’s with Kick ass Content in the First fucking Place. Remember if No One Uploaded Videos there Wouldn’t be a fucking YouTube Period. Thus We ask once Again Why is Youtube being Disrespectful and fucking Ungrateful for the FREE fucking Content that makes Them a Shit Load of Money and Boosts Popularity of the Platform. Simply FUCK YOUTUBE it’s No Longer a Viable Platform its a Bullshit Profit Driven Business that Doesn’t Support Content Creators at All Anymore Choosing Profit over People.

Shaye Saint John’s TRIP #1 HOLLYWOOD Video Deviation:

What We Particularly like about this Particular Shaye Saint John Video is it isn’t a Staged Skit in Some House or fucking Apartment. The Audience is Not what One would call a “Willing Audience” Opting to Watch a Shaye Saint John Video on Youtube. Instead in this Case They are Subjected to the Manic Absurdity of the Shaye Saint John Character as She Runs Rampant in the Real World. In this Video Shaye is Wheeled around the Streets of Hollywood by Some Random Guy Who would Blend into a Crowd (Point Being He’s a Generic Looking Average Joe Type).  There is Also  an Alternate Fellow Dressed as a Medical Doctor who also Ushers Shaye around in a Wheel Chair as Shaye has Frantic, Frenzied, and Hyper Reactions to the World Around Her. Needless to Say 95% of the Public were More Confused than Anything Else at the Sight and Behavior of Shaye though All in All the Situation was Well Received. Some of the things Shaye Poses for a Couple Pictures with People, Stops to Chat to a Spiderman Street Performer, Makes a Phone call on a fucking Pay Phone, Massages Her Legs while Sitting on the Sidewalk Singing a Song about fucking Tacos, Fawns Over the Assorted Photos of the Talent Posted in aTheater Window, Interacts with the Public, Almost Gets Sick (Vomit) on Hollywood Boulevard, and Narrowly Avoids being Murdered.

 

It is What it Is,

 Presented By Les Sober

BANANA MAN

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring the Video for the Song “BANANA MAN” bu Tally Hall. Tally Hall is an American Rock Band formed in Arbor, Michigan in December 2002. The Band is known for its Upbeat Melodies and Whimsical Lyrics. The Band described Their sound as “Wonky Rock” in an Effort to Not let Their Music be Defined by Any Particular Genre. So when People started Defining Characteristics of “Wonky Rock” the Band Immediately Relabeled Their Sound as “Fabloo”.

NOW TO BE CRYSTAL FUCKING CLEAR I think the Song is Absolute Shit. It Sounds like some Fucking Collage Alternative Rock Band from the fucking 90’s. So why the fuck am I using in/as a Post?! Well Allow Me to Explain. The Video is Absolutely fucking Insane So Insane in fact that I’m Not saying You Should be on Drugs When You watch the Video BUT it Sure as Hell Would Help. From the Demented Clown Make-up, Bugged Out Meth Eyes, Manic Energy, Strange Movements, and Hallucinatory Characteristics make Banana Man seem like a Bad Acid Trip.

It is What it is,

Presented By Les Sober

An FYB Monday Movie: MANIC

Welcome to Another Monday Post Here at FYB featuring the 2001 Movie MANIC  Directed by Jordan Melamed which was Written By Micheal BaCall and Blayne Weaver and Stars Joseph Gordon- Levitt.  I thought this would be an Excellent Monday Post since Mondays are the Most Dreaded Day of the Week, and has the Infamous Reputation for being The Shittiest Day of the Entire Week.

Storyline: The Movie Follows the Fate of Lyle Johnson (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) a Troubled Teen who is Prone to Sudden and Violent Outbursts. After Brutally Beating a Fellow Teen with a Baseball Bat at a Game Lyle in Lieu of Prison, is Committed to the Juvenile Ward of a Mental Hospital. In the Mental Institution Lyle  encounters a Motley Crue of Equally Lost and Troubled Teens just Trying to get by in Life by the Skin of Their Teeth. The Group of His Fellow Wayward Teens becomes Lyle’s Last Life Line as He Struggles to find Meaning in a World that Seems to Defy Understanding.

From The Critics:

“Powerful film packed with profanity and brutality.”

-Nell Minow (Common Sense Media)-

“Shows more hopelessness than optimism but it never less than honest.”

-Micheal O’Sullivan (Washington Post)-

“It’s an undemonstrative, vividly authentic film.”

-Derek Adams (Empire Magazine)-

Thanks For Watching,

   Presented By Les Sober  

Gateway of the Mind, Transfiguration, and Gateway to the Mind (RARE FOOTAGE)

In this Post Features a Total of Three Videos First Gateway to the Mind followed by Transfiguration, and Lastly Gateway to the Mind (RARE FOOTAGE). All Three of the Following Videos Shares a Distinct Part in One of the Internet’s Most Talked About, Notorious, Controversial, and Absolutely fucking Insane Mysteries to Date.

And Now Gateway to the Mind Please Enjoy.

The Backstory of Gateway to the Mind:

“In 1983, a Team of Deeply Pious Scientists conducted a Radical Experiment in an Undisclosed Facility. The Scientists had Theorized that a Human without Access to Any Senses or Ways to Perceive Stimuli would be able to Perceive the Presence of God. They believed that the Five Senses clouded our Awareness of Eternity, and without them, a Human could actually Establish contact with God by Thought. An Elderly Man who claimed to have “Nothing left to Live for” was the Only Test Subject to Volunteer. To Purge Him of all His Senses, the Scientists performed a complex Operation in which every Sensory Nerve Connection to the Brain was Surgically Severed.* Although the Test Subject retained full Muscular Function, He could Not See, Hear, Taste, Smell, or Feel. With No Possible way to Communicate with or even Sense the Outside World, He was alone with His Thoughts. Scientists monitored Him as He spoke aloud about His State of Mind in Jumbled, Slurred Sentences that He couldn’t even Hear. After Four days, the Man claimed to be hearing hushed, Unintelligible Voices in His Head. Assuming it was an onset of Psychosis, the Scientists paid little Attention to the Man’s Concerns.

Two days later, the Man Cried that He could Hear His Dead Wife speaking with hHm, and even more, He could Communicate back. The Scientists were Intrigued, but were Not Convinced until the Subject started Naming Dead Relatives of the Scientists. He repeated Personal Information to the Scientists that only Their Dead Spouses and Parents would have known. At this point, a Sizable Portion of Scientists left the Study. After a Week of Conversing with the Deceased through His Thoughts, the Subject became Distressed, saying the Voices were Overwhelming. In Every Waking Moment, His consciousness was Bombarded by Hundreds of Voices that refused to leave Him alone. He frequently threw Himself against the Wall, trying to Elicit a Pain Response. He begged the Scientists for Sedatives, so He could Escape the Voices by Sleeping. This Tactic worked for Three Days, until He started having Severe Night Terrors. The Subject repeatedly said that He could See and Hear the Deceased in His Dreams.

Only a Day Later, the Subject began to Scream and Claw at His Non-functional eyes, hoping to Sense Something in the Physical World. The Hysterical Subject now said the Voices of the Dead were Deafening and Hostile, Speaking of Hell and The End of the World. At One Point, He yelled “No Heaven, No Forgiveness” for Five Hours Straight. He continually begged to be Killed, but the Scientists were Convinced that He was close to Establishing contact with God. After Another Day, the Subject could No longer form Coherent Sentences. Seemingly Insane, He Started to Bite Off Chunks of Flesh from His Arm. The Scientists rushed into the Test Chamber and Restrained Him to a Table so He could Not Kill Himself. After a few hours of being Tied Down, the Subject halted His Struggling and Screaming. He stared Blankly at the Ceiling as Teardrops silently streaked across His Face. For Two Weeks, the Subject had to be Manually Rehydrated due to the constant Crying. Eventually, He turned His head and, Despite His Blindness, made Focused Eye Contact with a Scientist for the first time in the Study.

He whispered “I have Spoken with God, and He has Abandoned Us” and His Vital Signs Stopped. There was No Apparent Cause of Death.”

Well this Wickedly Wild Tale of Top Secret Human Experimentation Fueled People’s Obsession (and Curiosity) it is in fact 100% FAKE. So What the fuck is Actually Going On Here?! Well You’ll have to Watch the Transfiguration Video and Check Out the Explanation that Follows for the Facts.

Without Further Adu Transfiguration Please Enjoy.

The Truth:

The Man Pictured in the Gateway to the Mind Footage and the Accompanying Still Images is Actually Sculpture, Painter, and Performance Artist by the Name of Olivier De Sagazan, Who is Shown Transforming Himself into a Living Sculpture of Flesh, Clay, and Paint.

The Question at Hand Now is What the Hell is the Connection between the Disturbing Gateway to the Mind and Transfiguration???

The Original Video Installation, Entitled Transfiguration Shows De Sagazan sitting and Undressing in Front of a Crude Frame, Applying Copious Layers of Liquid Clay (Regular Clay that’s Been Diluted by Using Water) to His Head and Body until His Face is Completely Obscured, the Twisting and Tearing at the Material to Contort His “Flesh” into Horrific Shapes. Throughout this Process, the Artist can be Heard Uttering Animalistic Shouts and Haunting Moans.  Transfiguration was Later Re-Edited, Digitally Distressed, and Darkened to Resemble Archival Film, the Uploaded as Allegedly “Leaked” Footage from the Fictional 1983 Experiment.

LAIDIES AND GENTALMEN here is an Extra Bonus which is the Gateway to the Mind (Full and Color Version) Please Enjoy.

Gateway to the Mind Rare Footage is  Screen Test Footage of De Sagazan Rehearing and Experimenting with His Bizarre Performance Art Concept.

Thanks For Reading/Watching,

Presented by Les Sober