Tag: Mars

A Hard Fork For Humanity

Welcome to Today’s Post featuring A HARD FORK FOR HUMANITY by Content Creator Known as Umami (aka Justin Tomchuk) Who is a Canadian Artist and Content Creator who makes Surrealist Animated Videos. We can say in All and Utter Honesty is this is by FAR the Trippiest Mindfucker  of Video by Umami that We have seen to Date. Not Only that it just so Happens to Also be One of the Trippiest Mindfucker Videos We have ever seen Period.

Now We really Can’t Begin to Describe this fucking Video worth a Damn, BUT luckily for Us the Description by Umami well Simple fucking Says it All. I know it We could be Accused of just “Phoning it In”, and to Those We say Watch this Motherfucker and THEN see if You still Think So. In Our Humble Opinion to get the Most Perspective it’s Beneficial to Smoke some Weed while Watching. So with that Said without Further Ado here is A HARD FORK FOR HUMANITY…….

     

Description by the Creator Umami:

Aboard the SpaceX Starship heading to Mars, a sentient packet of soup mix comes alive to school Elon Musk about its future inhabitants.

 

It is What it Is,

  Presented By Les Sober

Interplanetary Revolution

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring INTERPLANETARY REVOLUTION Posted by Content Creator known as Toadsmiles. Toadsmiles YouTube Channel is SO Obscure (Only 4 Videos Posted Over 15 Years and a Total of a Mere 146 Subscribers) that if it was Any More Obscure it simply wouldn’t fucking Exist. Now this Video is Exceptionally fucking Weird because it’s an “Art Imitates Life and Life Imitates Art” Scenario. What We mean by that is INTERPLANETARY REVOLUTION is an Actual Russian Anti-Capitalist  Propaganda Cartoon Fantasy Short Released August 18, 1924 . The Cartoon Short was Created (and Co Directed) by Nikolai Petrovich Khodataev and the Experimental Studio State Tech Kino. Khodataev was a Russian and Soviet Artist, Sculptor, and Animator who was a one of the Founders of the Soviet Animation Industry.

When it comes to Watching INTERPLANETARY REVOLUTION Luckily there is No Dialogue so No Annoying Subtitles to be Concerned with, and All Russian Text is Translated Directly on the Screen as Opposed to Closed Caption. Whats interesting is there are Several Different Types of Animation from Traditional Cartoon to Monty Python like Animation, to some Strange shit You’d See on Adult Swim at 2 in the fucking Morning. Now this Cartoon is pretty fucking Far Out in the Deepest Depths of Left fucking Field that’s for sure. It can get Chaotic and Confusing so We have Key Point Pertaining to INTERPLANETARY REVOLUTION Below.

INTERPLANETARY REVOLUTION BREAK DOWN:

  • The Alien Monarch of Mars Never Invented Democracy.
  • The Closing Sequence Features a Portrait of Vladimir Lenin.
  • The Animation is Best Described as “Deranged”.
  • The Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy – The Alien Emperor’s 4 Guards Defend Him Triumphantly, Slaughtering Rebels in DOZENS of Shots. In the Later Shots the Guards seem to be Poorly Armed and Won by Sheer Numbers Alone.
  • The Leader – The Commissar (An Official of the Communist Party, Especially in the Former Soviet Union Responsible for Political Education/Organization) brings Revolution to the Planet Mars just by Speaking to a Local Proletariat ( A Proletariat is a Working Class of People, Regarded Collectively and Often Used with Reference to Marxism).
  • The Planet Mercury is Featured by a Man Resembling a Pre-Revolutionary Russian Shopkeeper. The Many Armed and Unfriendly Fellow isn’t Identified but is Believed to Most likely be the Planet Jupiter.
  • We See a the Eyes of the Moon turning into a Man and Woman who start Hugging and Kissing. The Commissar finds this to be Wildly Amusing BUT it has NO Relation to the Plot of INTERPLANETARY REVOLUTION.
  • Those Fucking Nazis: The Time being 1924, INTERPLANETARY REVOLUTION Features a Rather Wacky Italian Faschist (Who at that time were Best Known for Fighting Communism).
  • The Cartoon States (INTERPLANETARY REVOLUTION) is “A Fully Probable Event in/of 1929” just a mere 5 Years after INTERPLANETARY REVOLUTION came out and was Said in All Seriousness.

AND WITHOUT FURTHER ADU HERE IS INTERPLANETARY REVOLUTION. Enjoy.

It is What it Is,

   Presented By Les Sober   

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (25/365)

There was then a short “Intermission” that is if You call sitting in complete and utter darkness for 5 minutes while the Stage was being Reset. Lee was thinking to Himself in the meantime that while as Brutally Savage the Young Guy craping in a Bucket had some serious balls. That and the piece was far too long so He should consider using a Laxative next time to speed things along.

        

The Spot Light blaring back on like a Fucking Lighthouse. On Stage was a Man standing rigidly behind a Theremin (Thereminophone), and wearing a full head to toe Black Body Stocking.  The Body Stocking was decorated with Random Cliche Space shit in Dayglo Paint. A Pre Recorded Narration started to play from not a not so legit Sound System, but from a shitty 1980’s Boom Box at the back of the Room. Lee had to satisfy His curiosity and peered over His shoulder. Lee was delighted to discover to see He was exactly right about the BoomBox.

Then Bored sounding Narrator that was some Monotone Kid mumbling almost incoherently at points about Inner Dimensional Time Travel like one of those Fanatical Sci Fi assholes that argues in Klingon. Lee felt the Intro was Purely Self Indulgent because it was just Token Space Topics like Light Speed, Blackholes, Time Travel, Alternate Dimensions, Extraterrestrials, Worm Holes, and Life on Mars being rattled off by some thoroughly Uninterested Kid (who more than likely was the Performer’s actual Kid).

       

The Intro Recording ended and the Performer launched into a what can only be explained as Speed Metal on a Theremin. It totally blew Lee’s Balls Off. He just couldn’t get past how fucking Awesome the Performance actually was. He had thought it would just some Overindulgent Emo Loving Sci Fi Freaky  Nerd dredging on and on through what He would classify as “Musical Soundscapes” or something similar as fuck that it might be called.

After a Blistering Round of Theremin Speed Metal (as Lee was calling it) the Performer threw the Theremin over sending it crashing down to the Stage. It landed with deep and solid thud. Lee assumed this was the Theremin equivalent of a Metal Guitarist smashing Their Guitar at the end of a Song/Set. Lee found the Overturning of the Theremin to be the Icing on the Cake as far as He was concerned.

      

The next Act featured to Men wearing only Red 70’s Bicycle Shorts and matching Ted Nugent Halloween Masks. The Two Men stood facing one another from the Opposite Ends of a Large Inflatable Kiddie Pool. The Kiddie Pool was almost completely filled with an Unidentified Meat or Meat Product. It looked to be some shit ton of an unappetizing Canned Meat Product to Lee making Him a bit Queasy.

Then a Song from a particular Monty Python Skit featuring Spam started playing from the Boombox in the back “Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam….” as the Two apparent Advisories swayed Side to Side switching Their weight from Foot to Foot eyeing each other up. The Song then arrived at an Audio Clip of Dialog (also from the the Skit) which had be Edited in Exclaimed “But I DON’T LIKE SPAM!” the Two Performers Lunged at One Another as They entered the Kiddie Pool to engage in Battle.

        

Stay Tuned Kiddies for the Next Deviant Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (26/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

Quiz’s Quintessential Answer Key

Do to the insanely rigorous, highly detailed, and labor intensive nature of said Quiz only the TOP 20 Answers are Listed.

For the Rest of the Answer Key Results just shoot Us a Email at fyourblog404@gmail.com that simply says “DECODER RING”.

The Grading System is Strait Forward: Each Alphabetical Letter has been assigned a Numerical Value. Once You answered ALL 25 Questions You simply add up Your answers. Then check the Total against The Answer Key Located Below.

A. = 1,  B.=2,  C=3,  D=4,  E=5 and So On and So Forth.

      

The Top 25 Answers:

  • If You answers are ALL ODD: Your a fucking Wild Card. You deal in the Unconventional, and Unorthodox which leads some People to call You an Innovative Genius or Batshit Crazy. Your intensity drives Your Creativity, but if left unchecked it spiral out of Control words Self Destruction. Your walking an EXTREMEly thin line between Your own Personal Utopia or Your own Personal Hell on Earth. Remember Swords only have Two Sides.

      

  • If Your Answers were ALL EVEN: Your a walking talking Text Book Personality. Your Bland and Mundane the equivalent of a Blank piece of Copier Paper .You never allowed Yourself to Be Yourself, and thus suffocated  your Personality under Your own self implemented Restrictions. Break The Cookie Cutter that Molded You and Find Yourself before its TOO LATE. DOn’t let Your fucking disappointment drive You into the Grave of Regret.

      

  • If You Scored 1-24: Your indecisive I bet You take fucking forever to make a discussion. STOP ANALYZING EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE! Rock The Fucking Boat and Live DON’T JUST EXIST.

      

  • If Your Scored a 25: Break out the Tin Foil and Start making Hats, and Hanging Coat Hangers from Your Ceiling because Your about to be ABDUCTED BY MOTHERFUCKING ALIENS.

      

  • If You Scored 26-29: You will Travel to The Land of the Rising Sun more commonly known as Japan. You will go to Climb to the Summit of Mount Fuji. Unfortunately for You You hike through the Northwestern Flank of Mt. Fuji through Aokigahara Forrest or as its more commonly known The Suicide Forrest. Aokigahara is Notoriously known as the  WORLD’S SECOND MOST POPULAR SUICIDE LOCATION. You like so many others will simply Vanish never to be seen again. NO SWIMMING IN THE SEA OF TREES KIDS.

  • If You Scored a 30: Your a Trendy Hipster. Commercialism Defines You, YOU ARE YOUR POSSESSIONS. Your a fucking Sheep moseying to the Slaughter as it were. You should seriously think about doing the ENTIRE WORLD a fucking Favor and Hurry up and Die. Sorry You just SUCK that BAD.

      

  • If  You Scored a 31-39: Your Genetically Prone to Bear Attack so watch Your ass in the Woods. Smokey is NO Friend of Yours I assure You of that. He too is a Bear and will maul You possibly to Death just like Yogi or Boo Boo.

      

  • If You Scored a 35: You Have Genital Herpies, but hey thats better than fucking AIDS. Best You Stock up on Valtex now before its TOO LATE.

      

  • If You Scored a 36-39: You Will Be Killed By Spontaneous Combustion. Wish We had some advice unfortunately there is NO RESEARCH or Reliable Available Data on the Phenomenon.

   

  • If You Scored a 40: You will be part of the Colonization of Mars so Set Phasers to Stun, and Have a Safe Trip. Happy Travels and God Speed You Black Emperor.

      

  • If You Scored 41-44: We hate to be the ones to break this to You. Your Guardian Angel is a Demon in Disguise. We Recommend You See The Catholic’s about a Exorcism or Seek out a Reki Master to rid You of this certain Divinity Based issue. Tell Linda Blair Hi For Us.

      

  • If You Scored 45: Congratulations Your Related to Caligula one of the Sickest and Twisted Roman Emperors in all of Human History. Sorry not everyone can be related to Tom fucking Cruise or some other Famous Asshole.

      

  • If You Scored 46-49: You are Destined to be killed prematurely by a Tragic and Freak Colonic Accident. Talk about the Shit Hitting the Fan.

      

  • If You Scored a 50: WINNER, WINNER CHICKEN DINNER & GIVE YOURSELF A CIGAR. Make it a Fidel Castro Turn in His Grave.

  • If You Scored a 51-54: You will make Your Fortune by Buying Pork Belly Stocks and Selling Gold (Stocks). Just ask Mortimer I’ll bet You a Dollar He’s Trade Places with You in a fucking Heart Beat baby.

      

  • If You Scored a 55: Live Like An Angel, Die Like a Demon because You will certainly be Killed By Death. We’re NOT just spitting Venom are We Lemmy.

      

  • If You Scored a 56-59: You will be the First Person in History to Invent an ACTUAL WIDGET. You can use Economics to bring it to Reality.

      

  • If You Scored a 60: Your Not Real. You Believed Yourself into Existence. You Imagined Your Fiction into Fact. Keep the Faith or Literally Fade Away.

      

  • If You Scored 61-64: Your Your Own Doppelgänger a Non Biological related look a like Double (often considered Evil or Supernatural by Nature) of a Living Person. Technically You shouldn’t even still Exist. The belief goes if One meets Their Doppelgänger They BOTH WILL CEASE TO EXIST. You see  They cancel Each other Out of Existence like adding a Positive and a Negative Number. Well at Least Germany is Nice this Time of Year.

  • If You Scored a 65: Break Out the Spandex because You will be joining an 80’s Hair Metal Cover Band destined to become Local Legends. Just be sure to Remember along the way That Every Rose Has Its Thorn.

   

  • If You Scored 66-69: Get ready You’ll be Heading to Ozzy Osbourne’s Final Final Tour when it comes to your particular Town/City. You will have seats in the First Row Front and Center, BUT OZZY will be Tripping His Balls Off on a cocktail of Hallucinogens. Under the Influence Ozzy will Hallucinate that Your a Giant Fruit Bat, and will Bite Your fucking Head Off. At Least You won’t need to get Rabies Shots.

  • If You Scored a 70: You will have an illustrious Career as a Glu Sniffing Rhine Stony Professional Line Dancing Disco Cowboy. So Break Out the BeDazzler and Go fucking Nuts!

      

  • If You Scored a 71-74: You will become The World’s First BITCOIN MULTI BILLIONAIRE, The King of Crypto Currency. Unfortunately its NOT a RECOGNIZED CURRENCY by the Rest of the World so Spending it will be impossible. At least You can treat Yourself to one hell of a Dark Web Shopping Spree.

      

  • If You Scored a 75: You will be the One to Find Jimmy Hoffa who then union discovery will make You Disappear. At least its better than finding The Infamous  Bum Farto (and YES Bum Farto is/was a Actual Real Life Person, He’s good for a Google.)

      

  • If You Scored a 76-79: You will Win a Noble Prize for Your Research and Development of Robotics. Then You will venture into Fringe Robotic Sciences and start Experimenting on Yourself. Eventually You will become a Certified Cyborg, BUT You’ll have become Addicted to Robotic Body Modification. You will keep going until You in the end are 100% Robot. Look on the bright side Perhaps SkyNet is Hiring.

      

  • If You Scored an 80: You will Abandon Your current life, Home, Friends, Family, and Possessions for a Life as a Carnie bouncing From County Fair to County Fair, and Traveling Circus to Traveling Circus. You’ll become a Functional Alcoholic with a growing Meth and Pain Killer Addiction. You will Die leaving a 90 Pound, Toothless, Jaundice Ridden, Sickly Yellow Colored Corpse. You should have Listened to Nancy fucking Regan and just said NO.

  • If You Scored a 81-84: You will get Married and have a large Family. You will still live close to Your Parents and Siblings. You will have a successful enough career in Your Profession of Choice, and as so You will want to Care for Them incase You Die suddenly. So You get a Hefty Life Insurance Policy. 6 Months Later on One of Your Family Members (possibly working with One or More additional Family Accomplices)  will Murder You for the Life Insurance Money. Remember kiddies One of the FASTEST way to get Yourself Killed is Buying Life Insurance.

      

  • If You Scored a 85: You will become hopelessly Addicted to Hardcore Fetish Pornography and as a Result You will for Go Sleep and Food until You’ve Literally Masturbate Yourself to Death. Remember Kiddies TOO MUCH of a GOOD thing can fucking kill Your ass.

  • If You Scored a 86-89: You will meet Your Idol, Murder Them, and Take Their Place. DYI Bodysnatchers.

      

  • If You Scored a 90: You will be the First and Only Person to Navigate down to the VERY BOTTOM of The Maritime Trench more than 36,201 feet Below Sea Level. You will see Wonders that No other Human has ever laid eyes on. You’ll see Aquatic Sea Creatures No One even knew Existed. You will see the Secrets Beneath The Sea no one has been able to See, but not due to a lack of trying mind You. Sad to say You will never be able to tell a single Soul what You saw as You will Be Devoured by a Undiscovered Species of Giant Predatory and Deadly Jellyfish.

      

  • If You Scored a 91: Your Fate is Sealed. You one Day take a Tour of the Distillery where Your Favorite Alcoholic Beverage is Made. During the Tour some impatient Asshole will shove His/Her way forward from the Back of the Group to the Front. Inevitably this Unknown Asshole will invariantly push You into a MASSIVE Fermentation Tank where You will Drink Yourself to a Euphoric Death while waiting to be fished out. So much for Drinking Responsibly.

      

  • If You Scored a 92: Well We’re not sure what the fuck to say really. 92 is obviously a PERFECT Score, Yet NOBODY IS IN FACT PERFECT. As far as We can tell You must be an Inter Dimensional Entity or Being from a Parallel Universe. Thats It. Thats all We got.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober