FYB Presents Animated Abominations: Sebastian’s VooDoo and Doll Face

Welcome to Another Installment of Animated Abominations Featuring SEBASTIAN’S VOODOO and DOLL FACE!

Sebastian’s Voodoo which was Directed and Animated by Joaquin Baldwin is a Short and Tragic Tale of Self Sacrifice to Serve the Greater Good. Sebastian’s Voodoo takes place in a Voodoo Doll Makers Work Shop where Numerous VooDoo Dolls hang on Miniature Meat Hooks. The Voodoo Dolls Who possess some form of Conciseness are subjected to The Doll Maker’s Sadistic Torture at the Hands of The Dll Maker Who repeatedly Impales the Dolls periodically causing Them a Great Deal of Pain and Torment.

One Voodoo Doll manages to wriggle off its Meat Hook and makes a brief escape. The Doll Maker Returns and The Doll realizes that It must Save It’s Fellow Voodoo Dolls from the Cruel Clutches of The Doll Maker. The Doll then becomes aware of it’s own VooDoo Powers, and uses Itself to Target the Doll Maker. The Doll Maker who had Another Voodoo Doll in His grasp retaliates Using His Voodoo Doll to Attack the Escaped Doll. A Brutal Duel ensues with Each Combatant wielding Their Iron Will Unyieldingly.

Finally The Escaped Doll comes to the grim Conclusion that it can Kill the Malicious Doll Maker by Stabbing Itself in it’s Own Heart which in Turn would Kill it as Well in Some sort of a Bizarre Hybrid Murder-Suicide. The Doll Accepts Its fate and Plunges the Needle deep into its Chest puncturing Its Heart as it the Falls to its Knees and Dies. Meanwhile the Malevolent Doll Maker Freezes and then Collapses to the Floor Dead as Well. The Remaining Voodoo Dolls Free Themselves from Their Hooks, and Surround the Martyred Dolls Deceased Body. Enjoy.

Doll Face is a Haunting Cautionary Tale of the Entrapments of Vanity and The Pursuit of Perfection by Andy Huang. Doll Face is a Mechanical Robotic Mechanism with a Female Human Face. Doll Face becomes Obsessed with the Images of Beauty Personified in a Make Up Model on a Television that is Suspended from the Ceiling. Each Time the Image changes Doll Face immediately replicates the Image though each time the Image Changes the Television Retracts back towards the Ceiling. This forces Doll Face to Strain Harder and Harder each time to See The Next Image. Finally Doll Face is incapable of Seeing the images on the Television, and Doll Face Strains So Intently to See the Television that She inevitably Self Destructs. The Video Ends with Doll Face Laying Broken on the Floor done in by Her Own Desire to Emulate The Endless Images of Perceived Beauty within Society. Enjoy.

Thanks for Watching/Viewing,

Presented By Les Sober

Drama Queens Need to Get Themselves Killed

Yup you guessed it this Post pertains to Drama Queens who fall in the category of “People We Love To Hate”.

If you don’t believe me just watch 5 fucking minutes of ANY “Reality” TV Show, and since We are on the subject if you watch “Reality” TV or one of the Contest Shows do Me a favor. STOP READING THIS, GO THE HELL AWAY, AND DON’T COME BACK. I have no time for such Bullshit.

Recently I was informed about a particular Drama Queen who’s shitty shenanigans were reeking a good bit of havoc as it were. Now this isn’t just an EXCEPTIONAL Drama Queen, this Drama Queen could be one for the Books. Here’s what happened in a Nutshell.

My Brother T joined a Pinball Team that is part of a Pinball or as he refers to it as “A Drinking Team that happens to play Pinball.”, but since he joined he’s had a lot of fun, met cool characters, made some friends, and generally has a great fucking time.

The Team meets and was competing on a recent Tuesday evening and my Brother’s Wife L came over to the Bar (They always meet and Play in a Bar with varying venues) where My Brother was already warming up for the nights competition.

Outside in a small group of smokers was a tattooed sudo hipster woman who introduced her self to L as Shittney (remember kids I don’t use real names of People or Places)

Now Shinttney is one of those extremely extroverted personality types that get right up in your personal space, and will tell you anything including seriously personal shit. Shit such as Their Great Grandfather was arrested for molesting a circus Elephant or Their sibling is in jail for blowing up a bus full of fucking Nuns.

So it did’t take Shittney long to inform L that the Owner of the Bar where their playing (and captain of that night’s opposing team)   used to date, but not only that she also said she wanted to and I quote “Crush Him”. The first red fucking flag here was the fact that while Shittney and the Bar owner J did date for a while they broke up FOUR FUCKING YEARS AGO, FATAL ATTRACTION MUCH THERE OR WHAT?!!

Granted Break Ups by definition suck and suck bad, but if your not over someone 4 years after splitting up, GET PROFESSIONAL PSYCHIATRIC HELP YOU HAVE SERIOUS PERSONAL ISSUES is all I’m saying.

Red Flag number 2 considering the time-lapse between J and Shittney’s dating period she is far more than likely to be one of those bullshit Voyeuristic Cyber Stalkers.

Their the one’s that slink around in the shadows cast by the Internet’s bastard spawn Social media lurking in silence. Periodically they surf around observing people from either their past like ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, High School Classmates or Co-workers from the past and the present for example just to “See whats new with them.”

Anyway back to the Story Shittney gets her wish as her Team Beats J’s Team for that Night’s Win. AND HERE IS WHERE IT GETS DRAMA QUEEN CRAZY.

The next day following the Competition (and in spite of the fact THEY WON) hopped on Social Media using some Face Book Bullshit as her platform, and then railed against my Brother’s Team

She didn’t just go after her ex boyfriend and Team Captain she singled out even single member of the Team in this bullshit tirade. The main accusation (which of course Shittney is portraying as a hard cold Fact) is that the entire Team are cheaters.

Yup their scumbag cheaters who try and cheat every chance they get, they don’t obey the rules, and rig game play (I’m still unsure of what that criteria is or means but I’m doing my best here so if you don’t like it well shit on you.) and as par of the shitty social media madhouse several Pinball Trolls jumped on the band wagon in agreement.

Now I ask you Ladies and Gentlemen,

WHO THE FUCK COMPLAINS,BITCHES, AND INSULTS THE OTHER TEAM WHEN THEY’RE THE FUCKING WINNERS?!!!

“YOU CHEATED!” Accusations stem predominately from Poor fucking Losers as an excuse for why they suck as bad as they do. Trust me they suck big and they suck hard (that didn’t come out quite like I meant it, but I’m leaving it as is.)

In the End J stepped down as Team Captain, My Brother’s Team lost 2 great guys as well as terrific players, J finally made a statement addressing the accusations a bit late in the game, and finally J and Shittney sat down and recorded a Podcast that addressed any and all current ongoing issues between the two teams.

To lighten the mood a bit I’m going to list the main types of the assorted Drama Queens we find ourselves surrounded by and having to deal with. WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE SO DON’T BULLSHIT. Either a friend, Family Member, Co-Worker/Boss, Friend of a Friends, Wife/Husband, Someone’s kid(s), someone you dated, or some sort of run in with a Drama Queen

  1. The Terminator’s: They earn their name from the Arnold Schwarzenegger because like Arnold said so eloquently “I’ll Be Back” These are the Drama Queens that Stalkers are made of. They can’t let go, in fact their lives become dominated with the daydream that perhaps one day you two will be reunited in Love. These People are fucking DELUSIONAL.
  2.  The Shakespeare: These are women driven solely by Revenge. They are the “Wrath of Women Scorned” demographic. Everything shitty in the past relationship and since is YOUR FAULT and thus YOU SHALL PAY. These are the Dangerous fuckers due to the penchant for violence.

3. The Victim: These people have taken Victimization and transformed it into a fucking art form. Their lives would be wonderful if everyone they know or encounter wasn’t out to spite them, cheat them, abuse them, lie to them, fuck them over etc.  These are the ones that claim they can’t obtain Heaven being dragged down by so many other People’s Hells.

4. The Isolationist: These are the simplest forms or types of Drama Queens. The shun the usual shit show spectacle opting to Lock Themselves in a room classically a Bed or Bathroom is the preference of such people. They are the slow grind as dealing with them is like a fucking Police Hostage Negotiation where the Victim and the Perp are the same fucking person

5. The Banshee: The Loudest and likely most theatrical of all Drama Queens.  These people will EXPLODE in a TSUNAMI of Hysterical Crying, Wailing, Whining, and other types of non verbal guttural vocalizations. These People keep fucking Kleenex in business.

6. The Shunners: These people take a classic play out of the Amish Playbook. They believe silence makes Guilty People Uneasy so by utterly ignoring you they hope you’ll see where you fucked up and come running to apologize. I for one don’t give a damn if someone wants to act like I’m fucking dead so these people are of no concern to me.

7. The Dark One: These are the Gothic type of Drama Queen. These people will lay around in bed listening to the fucking Cure or some Emo bullshit while refusing to eat. They are the Doom and Gloom People whose worlds are dark and forbidding, a place where love goes to die and shitty poetry written.

8. The Martyr: These people honestly believe that they are the center of the fucking Universe, and without them everyone they knows life would fall the fuck apart, and everyone would meet a horrible fate. These are the classic “Get off the Cross someone needs the Wood” people.

Well Thats all I Have For Now.

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober