Tag: meat cleaver

Saturday Slasher Cinema: All Hallow’s Eve

Since Today just Happens to be the Greatest Holiday of Them All We Selected a Halloween Specific Movie.

All Hallow’s Eve is the 2013 Horror Anthology Film Written, Directed, and Edited by Damien Leone, in His First Full Length Feature Film Directorial Debut. The Film Incorperates Footage from the 2008 Short Film The 9th Circle, as well as the 2011 Short Film Terrifier, both of Which were also Directed by Leone and Stared Art The Clown. The Character of Art The Clown would later be featured in the 2016 Full Length Horror Film Terrifer, Also Written and Directed by Leone.

                      

Premis:

After a Night of Trick-Or-Tricking on Halloween, Babysitter Sarah is Surprised to see that Children Tia and Timmy have Received an Unmarked VHS Tape in one of Their Bags. The Children convince Sarah to allow Them to watch the Tape, which contains Three Stories, each of which features a HOMICIDAL CLOWN simply named Art The Clown.

                      

Enjoy.

We Hope You Enjoyed These Three Tales of Terror, and Have a Happy Halloween.

Thanks For Watching and Happy Halloween,

Presented By Les Sober  

Animation Abomination: ESKOS

Welcome to another Installment of Animation Abomination Featuring the 2009 Stop Motion Short ESKOS By British Puppeteer, Director, Writer, Animator, and Musician Barnaby Dixon. ESKOS is in Fact the Very First Video Posted by Dixon when He Joined Youtube in 2011. ESKOS to Me resembles what a Hybrid of the Band Tool’s Early Videos and Edgar Allen Poe’s The Raven would look like.

            

Brief Plot Summery:

a Team of Two “Disgrega Workers” (Disgrega is a Spanish Word that Translates to Disintegrates) Toil away everyday as some sort of Industrial Fishmongers. The Workers spend 12 hours a Day from 9-9 Butchering Large Fish and Packaging the Meat in Butcher’s Paper. One Night a Prehistoric  Sized Bird breaks into the Factory and Devours the Entire Stock of Fish in the Walk-in Freezer.

When One the Workers Returns to Work the following Day to find the Fish Supply Decimated to His/Her Great Dismay. The Bird (which in My Mind Resembles a Crow) and the Worker launch into a Game of Tom and Jerry as the Worker Tries to Rid the Factory of the Flying Fish Eating Fiend. The Second Worker arrives and The Two Workers end up in a Full Blown Fight over Their difference of Opinion on How to Handle the Situation. Will the “Crow” Escape Unscathed or will the Workers Rid Themselves of the Winged Pest Once and for All? You’ll just have to Watch and See for Yourself.

Enjoy.

Thanks For Watching,

  Presented By Les Sober

Monday Mayhem Movie: VIOLENT SHIT

FUB’s Monday Mayhem Movie Featuring the 1989 German Horror Film Written and Directed by Andreas Schnass, and Distributed by Blood Pictures.

           

Plot Summery:

A Young Boy named Karl Berger (a Surname given in the Sequel) Murders His Abusive Mother with a MEAT CLEAVER, after She beats Him for returning Home Late. Twenty Years Later in the Mid-1970’s, the Imprisoned Karl is being Transported to an Unspecified Location bu the Police, But manages to KILL HIS CAPTORS and Escape into the Wilderness, somehow acquiring a Cleaver in the Process. Over the Course of Several Days, Karl commits a SERIES OF MURDERS across the Countryside, MUTILATING and occasionally CANNIBALIZING His Victims. After a Double Homicide, Karl passes out and has a Flashback to the Day He Murdered His Mother, Revealing He had been coerced into Killing Her by a DEMON (Who May Be Karl’s Father) He had encountered in the Cellar after being Locked in It.

At one point, Karl also encounters an Apparition of JESUS Crucified in the Forrest, which HE HACKS OPEN, and CRAWLS INSIDE. After this Encounter, Karl commits an Additional Dual Murder outside of a Church, then Collapses in a Field, where HE IS SKIN (which has been Inexplicably Decaying throughout the Film) ROTS OFF, and HE Dies Ripping Himself Open, Revealing a BABY COVERED IN BLOOD.

           

“However crude the rest of this Amateur Production may be, there’s NO Denying the Power of this Gore-Soaked Mayhem. Both Schnaas’s willingness to Push Boundaries and His attention to Squeamish Detail are Noteworthy…Forcing the Audience to Either Confront it Head On or Look Away in Disgust.” -Brett Gallman (Oh, the Horror!)

Enjoy.

We Hope You Enjoyed this Tale of Mayhem and Murder as Much as We Did.

Thanks for Watching,

  By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (47/365)

The Conversation was abruptly interrupted by a Loud and constant Pounding on Dizzy’s Door. In the blink of a fucking Eye Dizzy strode over to the couch, dropped to His knees, reached underneath the Couch and pulled out a Large Meat Cleaver. Then Dizzy with Meat Cleaver at the ready strode over to the Door and threw it Wide Open like a B-Horror Movie Lunatic standing in the Door way brandishing a Meat Cleaver.

Standing in the Narrow dimly lit Hallway was a skinny almost emaciated looking Kid who looked to be around 11 or 12 years of age. The Kid didn’t flinch a single muscle as the Door flung open forcefully smacking into the Wall with a Solid Thug. The Boy didn’t blink at the sight of a Irritable Asshole standing in front of Him glaring angrily at Him holding a Meat Cleaver. Through all the insanity the Boy remained perfectly still, and appeared to be completely unfazed by the whole situation.

       

“What the hell do You want Kid? Well What?! What do You want?!” Demanded Dizzy now appearing to be Utterly Psychotic.

The Boy took a moment to brush His bangs out of His eyes with His hand before answering Dizzy. Meanwhile Dizzy looked like He was about to suffer a Rage induced Aneurysm waiting impatiently for the Kids reply. Jesus Christ Lee thought to Himself Dizzy is definitely a very Cool Guy but Hanging out with Him was getting a tad Exhausting trying to Keep up with Dizzy’s Manic and ever changing Moods.

Dizzy seemed to Deal solely in Extremes there was No Middle Ground, No Grey Area the World was governed by what He proceeded to be Right and Wrong. While Lee was coming to appreciate Dizzy’s Passionate Persona it left Him feeling increasingly Drained as the Day went on.

        

“You called for a Car right.” answered the Kid unassumingly while shifting His weight from foot to foot, and not due to feeling Uneasy but more out of Boredom than anything else.

“Oh fuck Me Running!”, Dizzy exclaimed Loudly his Voice echoing down the Hallway like it was a Medieval Crypt Tunnel, “I absolutely fucking forgot We called Ride for a fucking Ride like, shit 30 minutes or so Ago goddamnit it all to Hell!”

“Well We better hurry the fuck up and Decide what the fuck We are doing then.” said Lee trying carefully Not to Exacerbate the Issue anymore than Necessary.

“Ok here We go how about this,” Dizzy pondered out loud, “I told My Buddy Phil I’d do Him a Work Favor so We could head over to The Crystal Dinner for a couple Beers and Burgers. While We there I can do what I need to to help out My Buddy Phil, and then Drinks are on Me until We part Ways at Least?”

“Sure why the hell Not I could Eat.” Lee said since it was the Easiest Path Traveled at that Moment, and Honestly He was hungry as Hell having spent all Morning into the Afternoon Day Drinking like a Lush.

       

So the Lee and Dizzy grabbed Their gear and ran out of the Apartment not even pausing long enough to close the Door. Lee was going to say something about the open Door, but then He figured if Dizzy didn’t mind Why the fuck should He it was Dizzy shit anyway. The Gruesome Twosome barreled through the tight, dark and rather Dank hallway corridors, and then went sleeping down the Stairs as fast as Their feet would take them.

They Two busted out the Apartment buildings Front Door like They had been shot out of a fucking Cannon onto the Street. Lee stopped for a moment bent over trying to catch His Breath. Fucking Cigarettes Lee thought to Himself as He chest Heaved Up and Down like the Ocean Waves during a fucking Hurricane.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT BULLSHIT A FUCKING SMART CAR!!!” Screamed Dizzy in complete Disbelief  and Total Disgust.

        

Stay Tuned For Next Weeks Insanely Baffling Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (48/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober