Tag: Mechanic

HOSPITALS ARE A BULLSHIT SCAM.

Today We will be Discussing Hospitals and all that it Entails. First Off We all know what the fuck a Hospital is it’s a Big fucking Building with Operating Rooms, an ER, Diagnostic Equipment out the Ass, and is Full of Doctors as well as Sick and Injured Patients. If You’ve ever had the Displeasure of having to be In or Deal with a Hospital You might remember that Hospitals are Grand Masters any Kissing Their own fucking asses. All We’re saying is Hospital Propaganda make the Nazi bullshit from WWII look like fucking Amateurs. What We are referring to are the TV Ads, Billboards, Print Ads, and the ENDLESS Posters that Line the Walls of the First Floor Your subjected to while there. What pisses Us Off the Most are the goddamn fucking Posters with Smiling Staff, Cheerful Patients, and bullshit Slogans/Claims “We care About Our Patients” or “We Love to Support Our Community” or even “Providing the Best Car in *Fill in the Blank*”. This is Of Course UTTER AND TOTAL FUCKING BULLSHIT.

Hospitals DO NOT give a actual fuck about People They care about Only One fucking thing and it ain’t Healthcare it’s motherfucking MONEY. Hospitals put Profit Over People and if You fucking think that’s Not True try getting Medical Attention after Telling the Hospital that You Don’t have Insurance aka Payment. This seriously fucking pisses Us Off since Doctors take the Hippocratic which is all about Healing the Injured and Curing the Sick We mean real Biblical type shit here. What the fuck it doesn’t say is a goddamn thing about “Only if You get Paid” or “Treat Those Who have Insurance Only.” BUT THAT IS THE FUCKING REALITY nowadays. What People fucking Forget is Hospitals are FOR FUCKING PROFIT COMPANIES just like Amazon or fucking Walmart. To Hospitals All that matters is MAKING MONEY amassing an Obscene Fortune in the at the Expense of the Actual Patient They claim to Love and Provide for.

Speaking of Doctors if You want to Piss Off ANY Doctor is to ask them Why Doctor’s REFUSE to Admit the fucking Obvious Truth, and that is ONE (perhaps the main one) of the Reasons They chose to be Doctors was They Knew it make Them fucking Rich. And wanting a High Paying Job is Totally fine, BUT Bullshitting, Avoiding, and Ignoring the Question/Subject THAT’S the Issue We have. Also Doctor’s WILL readily admit that the Healthcare System, Health Insurance, and Hospital Care is a BROKEN and SEVERLY FLAWED System that Financially Rapes People until They are Broke or Crippled by Medical Bills Then They fucking Abandon Them. Doctor’s are at the fucking Center of the American Pay to Play or in this Case Pay to Live. Doctors and Hospitals KNOW People Don’t want to be sick, in pain, or Die and They fucking Exploit the Situation to Grotesque Degree to get EVERY last flicking Cent from Their Patients. Case and Point Even Lawyers who lets face it are fucking Despised (Until People Need One) for Being Greedy Bastards do Pro Bono Work. Meanwhile Virtually NO Doctors do Pro Bono Work unless They’re Doctors Without Boarders and They Don’t Help Anyone in America They deal with 3rd World Countries.

And How can We be So fucking Sure? Well Allow US to Explain form Personal Experience. Les landed Himself in the Emergency Room in the First Week of January 2018 Literally Knocking on Death’s Door which sent the ER Staff Scrambling like a Motherfucker. Les had to be Admitted to the Hospital for Further Treatment which Included Surgery where He Spent Almost a Week. Now here’s the fucked Up Part Les’s Wife had been Paying for Insurance through Her Employer which is what it is. The fucking Problem was some Incompetent Asshole made a Mistake. Then this Ignorant Asshole instead of FIXING IT and Properly Filing it stuck it in a fucking Desk Drawer and fucking Forgot About it.

Now literally a Day or So before Landing in the Hospital His Wife became Aware of the Mistake and Immediately Addressed it with Her Employer. Since She had Payed into the Insurance Ultimately things would be Corrected and the Insurance would be Retroactive at that Point. This was Explained in fucking Full to EVERY MOTHERFUCKER Les and His Wife Dealt with Explaining the fuck Up, and that They did have Insurance it was just a dumbfuck Clerical Error and was in the Process of being Worked Out. Now on Day 3 of Les’s Hospital Stay 2 Stern and rather Grim looking Women from the fucking Hospital’s Billing Department Showed Up in His fucking Room. They talked to Les’s Wife (Though Les was the Actual Patient and Laying in Bed 4 fucking feet away) and Informed Her that We Owed Them $157,000 Plus So Far.

                             

Les’s Wife AGAIN for the BILLIONTH Time Explained the Situation and that They DID have Insurance and what had Happened. As for the 2 Cold Cunts from Billing was Concerned Didn’t Bat a fucking Eyelash. Instead They wanted to Know if Les and His Wife could put Down a fucking Deposit for $15,000. Also to make things MORE FUCKED the Piece of Shit Parasites from Billing instantly They showed up on FRIDAY AT 4:30. The Point is that left 30 minutes Before the Banks and all that Bullshit Closed and Wouldn’t be back Until Monday. To make a Long Story Short Les has a Really Bad Temper and Absolutely Despises the ENTIRE Medical Field so Simply at that Point Les Completely Lost His Shit. Les Cursed and Berated  the Billing Department Dipshits Mercilessly Pointing Out He was Still a Patient and what fuckwit would ask for Payment before All Services were Rendered. He also called them Out on Their Ridiculously Retarded Time Frame, and then Posed the Question could THEY come the fuck up with $15,000 in 30 Minutes. After being Verbally Assaulted The Pair of Parasitic Pissants finally fucked Off.

Next Let’s Chat about the fucking Insanity of a Hospital Bill. First Off one Reason Hospital Bills are fucking Outrageous starts with the Fact Patients are Charged Between $1,000 to $1,200 a Day JUST FOR THE FUCKING ROOM. That Fee DOESN’T include a fucking thing, No Doctors, Nurses, Diagnostics, Procedures, Surgeries, or Medication it’s Only for Occupying a Room. That would make Hospitals the Most Expensive and Shittiest Hotel Anyone will Ever Stay in. Second Hospitals have what They call a “Master List” which in Reality is a MASSIVE Price List. It has EVERY fucking thing that the Hospital Charges for and How much from Cotton Swabs to fucking Brain Surgery.

                            

The fucked Up thing is Hospitals are fucking NOTORIOUS for doing EVERYTHING in Their Power to make Sure NO ONE SEES THEM. If You ask US that’s just fucking Shady as Shit since Hospitals DO NOT send Itemized Bills so Patients Don’t Actually Know What They are Paying For or even How fucking Much the Things They are Paying for Cost. So Once Your out of the Fucking Hospital You just sit and Wait for the fucking Bill(s) to Start Rolling in. Then when the Hospital Bill comes You have NO fucking Clue if its $20 or $2000 or $20,000 until You actual Open the fucking Thing.

Now for Example Would You go into a Grocery Store and Have The Cashier Ring You Up only to had You c Receipt that Only Says GROCERIES $375? Fuck No You Wouldn’t. Nor would You drop Off Your Car at the fucking Mechanics only to Return to a Bill that Simply States AUTO REPAIR $750? Again fuck No You Wouldn’t. The Issue is that Hospitals damn well know if Patients/Public found Out how Bad Hospitals were Financially fucking Them Over There’d be Hell to Pay. People would Storm Hospitals and fucking full on Riot as the Mob Mentality takes Hold. Yet Another Reason that Corrupt Hospital Cunts don’t want the Public to Know what They Charge Outside of Public Rage Fueled Backlash is Patients could Shop Around instead on being TOTALLY DEPENDENT on Their Local Hospital. Itemized Bills are used to Help Prevent fucking Fraud its so You know what You’re being Charged For and How Much, BUT Hospitals will Never give You a Itemized Bill. Somewhat Good News is if You request/ask for an Itemized Bill They BY FUCKING LAW have to Provide You with One.

The Problem is good fucking Luck EVER receiving Your Itemized Bill NO MATTER How many fucking Times You request it. Les is Still Attempting to get an Itemized Bill for His Hospital Stay 4 fucking Years Later and still Not a fucking Thing. It’s the fucking bullshit Blame Game where Hospitals DON’T send You an Itemized Bill as Requested and when or If You call Back They claim They sent it and it must have “Gotten Lost in the Mail” which Provides Them with a Perfect Scape Goat. Now it gets even More fucked Up as the fucking GOVERNMENT had to Step in to Try and Sort Out this Shit Storm, and They Informed Hospitals that They HAD NO CHOICE and to make Their Price List Public. And Yup You Guessed it the Hospitals did NO such thing instead They selected Random Small shit or Elective Procedures (Example: Nose Job) in a Half Assed Effort to Conform with the Government and Still Not disclose Jack Shit about Their Prices/Charges.

Down the fucking Line the Government Circled back and found that Hospitals were Non Compliant and had Essential Ignored Them. So the Government ramped Up and Stated that Hospitals HAD TO DIVULGE EVERY FUCKING COST OR ELSE. As to the Time We Post this We aren’t aware of ANY fucking Hospital in the Entire Country that has Actually Complied, and the Scumfucks in Washington haven’t Done shit or Tried Once again to Force the Issue. So Once again the People/Patients Continue to get Financially Fucked Over again and again.

One Final Note before We fuck Off Once Again into the Abyss as it were. All Hospitals are Graded like Restaurants by the Joint Commission of Hospitals  based on Their Performance, and on an Alphabetical Scale ranging from A being the Best to F being well You Know. Anyway when We Relocated Our Home Office We Spent the First Couple Weeks getting to Know People in the Community and Shit. Now when You’re the New Kid on the Block People give You Advice and Local Tips and in this Case People Informed Us of the Closest Hospital (of 3 in the Area) that We will call Fuckardia Hospital to Avoid Any Possible Relation from Said Hospital. We were told Over and Over that and We Quote “Don’t go to Fucktardia Hospital Unless You want to Die.”, and a Few Months Later We learned Fucktardia is Referred to by Locals in the Know as “The Murder Hospital’. The fact of the Matter is Seriously Sick or Injured Patients wouldn’t Call the Ambulance since They HAVE to take You to the Closest Hospital. What They would do is DRIVE across County Lines before Dialing 911 so the Ambulance would then have to take Them to one of the other Two Hospitals in the Area. This was SO common place that a Guy started a Side Hustle where He drives You across County Lines, Calls 911 on Your Behalf, and Waits with You until the Ambulance Arrives.

Now One could Argue that Public Opinion No Matter Good or Bad is indeed Not Fact thus How could We be sure that Fucktardia was a Shitty Hospital? Les’s Wife is a Psych Nurse (RN) with over 12 Years of Experience in the Medical Field who was the One that Informed Us of the Hospital Rating System. It was Also Les’S Wife Who informed Us that Fucktardia Hospital had at the Time just Received an F. Unlike in the World of Restaurants where an F gets You shut the fuck Down and Out of fucking Business Hospitals are allowed to Continue to Operate (no Pun intended) even with a FUCKING F RATING. So Restaurants that get an F get at Least Temporarily Shut Down until Shit gets Fixed or Their fucked and put out of Business for Good. This is because the Health Department Doesn’t even want the Possibility of Someone getting Sick, BUT A FUCKING HOSPITAL who’s ONLY fucking Job is Helping to Sickest and Most Severely Injured People can Keep on Keeping On. Don’t take Our word for it GOOGLE IT and find out For Yourself We ain’t Lying or Exaggerating.

Moral of the Story Hospitals even the Best of the Best are in it to make Money Preying on the Sick/Injured and Vulnerable Patients. It’s fucking Vile and Those Involved Should BE Fired, Incarcerated, and FUCKING EXECUTED for Crimes against Humanity as far as We are fucking Concerned.

It is What it Is,

   By Les Sober  

Autocalypse: When the Other Motorist’s Insurance is Shit

One Random Day My Wife asked if She could Borrow My Car to Run a Quick Errand and I said of Course. I’m Not on of those Guys that Insanely Compulsive about Their Car (Example: “ONLY I Drive My Car.”) and All I really cared about was Not being Dragged along as I hate Shopping in ALL Its Forms. Luckily for Me My Presence was Not required so I tossed Her the Keys, Fired Up the Laptop, and Settled in for a little Impromptu Me Time as it were.

30 Minutes had passed and I was thoroughly Enjoying Myself when then Phone Rang. I picked it up and it was My Wife who immediately told Me to STAY CALM, But something Happened to My Car. She then wen on to Inform Me that as She (along with a Dear Family Friend) had been Slowly Cruising the Grocery Parking Lot for a Space, and  Low and Behold an Elderly Lady  Pulled Out/ Backed Out of Her Parking Spot and Directly into My Rear Passenger Car Door. I instructed My Wife to make SURE NO ONE LEFT the Scene before I got there and that I was leaving the House as We Spoke.

       

I jumped into My Wife’s Car and Headed Out in a fucking Hurry. It Only took about 5-6 Minutes for Me to Arrive as This Particular Grocery Store was Literally Down the Street and Around the fucking Corner. Which was lucky for all as I ADMIT I Drive like a Total Asshole when I’m Seriously Pissed Off.

I pull up and the first fucking thing I realize is I smell Alcohol because The Elderly Lady smelled like a fucking Brewery, and NOT a good one Mind You. So I bulldozed My way passed the Drunk Old Lady so I could Survey  the Damage Done to My Car. What I saw STILL Boggles My Mind to this Very Day.

The Driver was a Drunk Elderly Lady Driving a Generic as fuck 4 Door Sedan, and there was only 4 feet between where She was Parked and My Car Door. Well with those Stats You’d figure the Damage would be Rather Minimal, But in this Case You’d Be Wrong Very Wrong Indeed. You see instead of a Dent (or perhaps 2) or a Scratch (or 2) or Perhaps a little of Both My Door looked like it had been Hit by a Legitimate Wrecking Ball.

       

From the Bottom of the Window to the Bottom of the Door was Caved in, it looked like a fucking Meteorite Crater for fucks sake. How the Hell that Drunk Old Lady managed to Generate Enough Speed in 4 fucking Feet to Cause this Type of fucking Damage. I just stood there fucking totally Dumb Struck at what I was Looking along with the Scenario that Caused it.

At Last a Lazy Cop (I saw that because it took the Bastard 57 fucking Minutes to show the fuck up, and then acted All Authoritative as if We were wasting HIS Time the Hypocritical Cock Cracker) and He too instantly Smelled Alcohol on The Elderly Ladies Breath. We went through the Regular Rigamarole “Any One Hurt?”, “What Exactly Happened”, “Drivers Licensees and Proof of Insurance” Blah Blah Fuckity Blah. Once that Part concluded The Cop put the Drunk Elderly Lady in Handcuffs and Carted Her off to the Drunk Tank to Sober the fuck up.

        

Now I ADMIT I seriously fucked Up and instead of taking My Car to My fucking Mechanic as I have Done with EVERY Auto Accident I’ve been involved in/with. This time I’m still unsure why I opted to let the Drunk Elderly’s Lady’s Insurance (Which by the way was ALLSTATE, You’ll see why this is Significant a little later on in this Post) Fix it at One of Their Contracted Auto Mechanic Shops.

The Repair Consisted of Repairing the Power Window (which in all Honestly was Already Malfunctioning, BUT considering the Amount of Speed and Force Generated by the Drunk Elderly Lady chances are the Internal Power Window Mechanisms would have been Obliterated Anyways so) and Replacing the Car Door Panel. This Repair should take a Day perhaps Two if the Shop is Busy and You have to Wait for Them to get to Your Car.

       

Well for the Next TWO WEEKS My Wife, Friends, Family, and I continued to Struggle with How the hell This Drunk Elderly Woman could have induced SO MUCH Damage in such a Short Distance?! I joked I should call the Guys from the Defunct TV Discovery Channel Show MYTH BUSTERS, and ask Them to Figure it Out since They could probably use The Paycheck.

I also in Jest suggested I hire a Team of Physicists to Run Tests in a Lab to Figure Out the Answer. In the End the ONLY thing that even came Close to a fucking Answer was Being Intoxicated The Elderly Lady got in Her Car and Floored the fucking Thing without even Being Aware of It. Then She must have put the Car in Reverse while Gunning the Engine and SLAMMED Into My Car.

After Realizing that the Mechanic Shop My Car was being Repaired called STERLING AUTOMOTIVE (Yes I’m using Their Real Name because Their Assholes and People should fucking damn well know it.) had infant had My Car an EXORBITANTLY LONG fucking Time I gave Them a call the Next Day when I got a Free Minute at Work. As it were the Following Morning at Work (I was a Vet Tech at a Local Veterinary Animal Hospital) was Hectic as All Hell, BUT around 12:30 I had a chance to make the Call.

        

I was standing in the Midsection of The Hospital that was Behind the Exam Rooms where We did Bloodwork, Dispensed Medications, and Prepped Animals for Surgery and Such. My Boss and Supervisor where sitting to My Left shooting the Shit with a Couple of Our Clients. And Thank God They were Empathetic as Well as Being Pretty Cool People because What Happened Next was a Spontaneous Shitshow.

I Called Up STERLING AUTOMOTIVE and a Young Lady answered. I told Her the Situation, and that I was extremely Unpleased by Their fucking Slow as a Tortoise Timeline. She then Let Me Know that My Car was in Fact Ready, and The Mechanics were giving it a Once Over to Insure the Repairs were Correct. She then Informed Me there had Been an Issue with My Car, and I asked Her what at which point She tells Me matter-of-factly that While at Their Shop My fucking Car was Broken Into and Some Crackhead Cocksucker Stole My $300 Car Stereo.

        

I being back then My Later 20’s hadn’t learned a single thing about Proper Self Control so My Anger Kicked In and I Totally Lost My shit. I yelled into the phone something to the Effect of:

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN MY FUCKING CAR WAS FUCKING BROKEN INTO?! SOMEONE FUCKING BROKE INTO MY FUCKING CAR, AND FUCKING STOLE MY FUCKING STEREO? THAT’S WHAT THE FUCK YOUR FUCKING TELLING ME FOR FUCK’S SAKE?!!!”

The Poor Young Lady was COMPLETELY FLOORED and Had NO IDEA what to do at This Point Period. I told Her I’d be coming Down IMMEDIATELY and Hung Up on Her. I called My Wife who was Off from Work for a Ride Down to STERLING ASSHOLE AUTOMOTIVE.

       

As Soon as I Stormed in the Door EVERY Employee behind the Counter which was located at the Back of the Shop Hauled Ass out of there. I reached the Counter just in time to Hear someone say They were getting the Manager Jeff. To Occupy My time I made several Phone Calls and LOUDLY ANNOUNCED that My Car was Broken into and My Stereo Stolen at STERLING AUTOMOTIVE. I did this Solely because there were Plenty of Customers/Potential Customers in the Shop as well as Entering and Exiting.

At Last a Short Man Named Greg  Weighing 90 Pounds Soaking Wet with Rocks in His fucking Pockets showed up to Escort Me Outside (Obviously  to Avoid Creating any Further Commotion in the Shop). I immediately got Toe to Toe with Jeff and Told Him I sure a fuck didn’t Appreciate the Fact They had My car for a RIDICULOUSLY LONG TIME for a Simple Repair that in My fucking Opinion provided some Scumshit to Steal My Stereo.

Greg tried BRIEFLY at that Point to Stand His Ground by telling Me He didn’t Appreciate How I talked to His Employee. I then told Jeff TOUGH SHIT I wasn’t Apologizing to ANYONE FOR ANYTHING. I went on to say Jeff being the Shop Manager should have called Me since this was a Sensitive Issue, BUT APPARENTLY JEFF had the Desk Girl do it For Him. Thus it was His fault because He was being a fucking Coward and chose to Hide rather than do His fucking Job. Jeff promptly shut the fuck up and We went to Examine My Car.

        

I noticed as We walked around the side of the Building to Their Lot I noticed They had a 15 foot tall Chain Link Fence, but Unlike Every Other Auto Mechanic there was NO BARBED WIRE. This means that if You a Scumfuck or High on Crack and Not Insanely afraid of Heights You could Simply Climb over No Problem No Bolt Cutters Needed. As We entered the Lot I saw a Singular So-Called Security Camera that was DEFINITELY NOT useful for Shit because it was a Shitty Closed Circuit TV Camera (like the Ones They have in Connivence Stores) Circa 1980. The fucking Red Activation Light wasn’t on which is a EASY way to Tell the Camera wasn’t even On as more than likely it wasn’t even Hooked Up to Electricity.

I Didn’t hesitate to share My Distain and Observations to Greg’s Attention He Attempted to give Me a Bullshit Excuse and I told Him I could fucking Care Less what He had to say for Himself. Once We reached my Car the First Thing that Occurred to Me was The Window was Broken. Don;t get Me Wrong I didn’t;t want My Windows Busted, YET in this Type of Breaking an Entering the Perpetrator will simply Break the Window, Open the Door, and Steal the Stereo.

       

SO Why then wasn’t MY Window Busted Out?! I then asked Greg this Question and He said I kid You Not that because STERLING AUTOMOTIVE has SO MANY issues with People Stealing Their Customer’s shit while Their Vehicle is in Sterling’s Custody that They STOPPED LOCKING THE CAR DOORS. That translates into “We get robbed all the fucking time so We don’t lock the Doors so The Crackheads won’t Break The Windows, and Then STERLING wouldn’t have to Pay for the Window as Well as the fucking Replacement Stereo.”

Greg even informed Me that HIS fucking Car had been Broken Into 3 Times since He started working there. I suppose this was to try and make Me feel not so Bad about what Happened, BUT all it did was Piss Me off More. I took what Jeff had said as that STERLING was such a Shit Show of a Shit Shop that even the Employees Car’s get Robbed. What The Fuck is that bullshit About?!

        

Well in the End I got My Stereo Replaced, a Bullshit Apology from STERLING, and One Hell of a Story.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober ( Posted 12:16am)

Conflicting Karma Continues

As some Reader’s may be aware July was a real fucker, but for those who don’t heres a quick summation.

My 10 year old plus Vehicle took a huge shit returning from a rather kick ass road trip. It was asshole of an Alternator so. Next day the Check Transmission light came on, after a waste of my time transmission was fixed. That didn’t happen, a part within the transmission “blew” (the Transmission Guy’s words interpret as you will), and We had to cancel a Birthday Road trip for my Wife.l. Thank Fuck for WARRANTIES! All good Now.

Meanwhile my Wife’s  10 year old Car was at the point where We weren’t going to put another fucking nickel into it. It be an utter waste to invest anymore money in a car that was showing its age, had some minor issues, and some mysterious electrical problem (Toyota Dealer Mechanics couldn’t figure out what exactly it was). We went online like assholes and discovered the electrical issues more than likely was the for warning of a Failing Fuel Pump. The Fuel Pump would cost $1,800 alone so it be $2,000 and change by the end of it for Labor, Taxes, and extraneous bullshit.

So my Wife felt unsafe driving her car anymore so it was the next step is trade this thing in before it takes a total shit on us leaving us out one car. It sucked like nothing else on this planet, it is a truly unique suck. Overtime you had to turn her car on you prayed it fucking start, and then while your driving the son of a bitch you were praying it wouldn’t break down for the last fucking time.

After We had to cancel my Wife’s awesome Birthday Road Trip do to emergency transmission issue reoccurrence. Luckily my Wife had already jumped on the new car train and thoroughly researched various cars she was interested in. And since she knew what she had a top 5 list we decided to check out Dealerships that had one, some or all of the her said choices.

Now to get to any actual real Dealership (Podunk Mitch’s Auto Super Sales holds no water whatsoever.) were all an hour away in the Shitty City. So off we went to check out some possible options for a new car for My Wife. The road to the Shitty City sucks King Kong Cock to drive on. Its currently 2 lanes of heavy traffic bumper to pumper type shit, but they are also doing what seems to be a 1,000 year construction project. This apparently never ending road work requires a wall of cement barricades be lined up like a poor man’s Great Wall preventing all traffic from turning right even say in an emergency attempt to avoid being hit by some jack ass driver.

With that fucking said about half way down the road to the Shitty City to go car shop for my Wife we were spectacularly hit by one of those previously mentioned Jack Ass Drivers.

As We were driving in the left lane next to the cement barriers that went on for fucking miles upon miles when I hear my Wife say something. Now it was;t what she said that got my attention it was the tone of voice she was using. It was the “Oh fuck this shit isn’t gonna be good” type of tone. So I looked over to see her looking over right before the Jack Ass Driver took the fucking rearview mirror of in an explosive fashion.

The Jack Ass Driver pulled into the median and we followed suit. For obvious safety reasons I exited through the Drivers Door to avoid the very real risk of getting plastered by any one of the millfucktillion speeding motherfuckers.

When my Wife got out god bless her she was rattled as the Snake, but overtly concerned about the overall well being of the Jack Ass that just side wiped the holy hell out of us. I scramble out of the drivers side like a baby calf being born and immediately go fucking Nuclear. I started screaming “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”, “FUCK WHERE YOU DOING?!!”, and “YOU TOTALLY FUCKED UP OUR CAR WHAT THE FUCK?!”

It turned out the Jack Ass Driver was in fact a young girl about or around 17 or 18 who was driving her father’s fucking massive SUV so there was no damage to her vehicle not a single fucking scratch. She was quite upset as this was her first accident ever apparently.

Now this wasn’t my first accident by far, but man it was a doozy. The Girl had first hit the Drivers side rear quarter panel. Then her dad’s SUV scrapped across the rear driver’s side door shredding the god living shit out of it. Next the same deal with the driver’s door, and ending with the rearview mirror being completely amputated.

I contacted our insurance people, My Wife called the Cops, and the Girl was Calling Her Parents then Insurance company.

All the while all I could think was that while I did under  my anger I did feel bad for this girl it was totally fucked how different our realities were. For her she would return home shaken but safe, possibly have to pay her Dad back for the fucking hefty ticket, and perhaps lose her driving privileges for I dunno couple weeks to a month?!

Meanwhile for my Wife and I it meant whole lot more. It meant that this crappy kid driver (who was fucking with her phone more than not) had absolutely fucked us out of the last thing we had going (the trade in value) in the “Battle of the Old Ass Cars” because we could live without one, BUT that meant we still needed one safe and reliable car for work to pay the fucking bills.

We then spent the next fucking hour or so baking in the median while again trying not to get fucking killed by the mad ass drivers on the highway. Finally a fucking Cop shows the hell up. This dick gets both my Wife’s and the Girls licenses and announces we’re going to drive to the next exit to a gas station (if you decided not to show he had all the info needed to issue a warrant mind you), and sort things out because and I quote ‘We don’t want to get killed out here.” Now while that makes perfect fucking sense the reality of it is He knew it was dangerous. YET he had no fucking issue leaving us stranded out there for an hour. Fucking Cops.

We drove to the gas station where the Cop ticketed the Girl, the Girl’s goddamn parents show up, My Wife is way too nice, I continued  aggressively venting about how fucked up all this fucked up shit is, and we all went our separate ways.

In the End: We got my Wife a fucking AWESOME NEW CAR the next day, and (My Vehicle has remained issue free as well) thanks to the accident the Girl’s insurance cut us a check for couple thousand and change (plus we did manage to get some cash for the trade in but it barely beat the Junk Yard) so we end up coming out ahead. Can’t argue when life throws you a bone rather than a bastard.

Thanks for Reading, Les Sober.

(P.S. THIS IS THE LAST POST ABOUT FUCKING CARS.)