Tag: medical student

Returning to Man the Keyboard

As Our Reader are readily aware at this point We have a tendency to how do You say Fall off the Face of the fucking Earth. For this Inconvenience We Wholeheartedly Apologize, and We will attempt to keep the Sporadic Disappearances to a Bare Minimum.

So if You possibly find Yourself pondering what exactly it is/was that We were up too while We were wondering in the Void I’ll tell You, well I’ll give You the Pertinent Points as there’s No Point in Me writing a bunch of Unnecessary shit, and You reading it.

I’m aware most if not All of Our Reader’s more than likely don’t give a shit, and would be happy if We just Stayed Put. You’ll have to Pardon Me then as My Mother raised Me with Manners. Manners are truly a thing of the Past as Manners DIED right after Chivalry.

        

Now its a bunch of Self Serving, Self Absorbed, and Self Centered Social Media assholes Who desperately want to become the next Big Social Media No Talent Scumbag Hack  or a greedy Youtuber twat who only cares about Monetizing Their fucking crappy Channel.

It’s all the same stupid shit. It’s the “Look at Me! Look At Me! I’m so interesting, I’m too talented, I’m God’s gift to fucking Humanity.” mentality. Take FaceBook for instance where assholes post constantly all fucking day long about:

Where They are (NO ONE GIVES A FUCK YOUR AT WALMART ASSHOLES)

What They Ate (ITS FUCKING FOOD NO BIG WHOOP)

Who They Saw or Did shit with (WHO CARES I DON’T KNOW THOSE SAD SACKS OF SHIT.)

What They’re Doing (SO FUCKING WHAT WE ALL HAVE SHIT TO DO.)

What Mood/Relationship Status is (I DON”T GIVE A FUCK WHO YOU FUCK OR HOW YOU FEEL BECAUSE YOUR A FUCKING FACELESS FAKE AS FUCK FB “FRIEND”)

Anyway I digress.

       

The First thing I for One was dealing with was I got into a Dispute meets Debate. Then when I became Irritated I was convinced a Thought I had had previously was In Fact absolutely right. I still believe this. As for what the fuck is the Reality of the Situation I believe (after conferring with My Wife) that it squarely falls on My Brother.  My Brother You see is really shit at making Decisions as He spends most of His time Precariously Perched on the Fence unwilling to set Foot on either Side.

I had initially thought My Brother’s Wife was playing a much larger part in the matter than She actually was/is. Though to be utterly honest I did spend a good deal of time trying to Demonize the shit out of Her for it. So be it.

I also had the distinct displeasure of seeing My Cardiologist for a 6 month check in to see if I’m Alive and Still Kicking essentially. There was a fucking Medical Student who for this particular appointment  was part of the Package. NOW YOU CAN simply tell said Student or the Doctor that You don’t want the fucking Student to sit in on YOUR Appointment with YOUR DOCTOR.

       

I know They have to fucking learn, but I view these Shadowing Exercises to be GLORIFIED FIELD TRIPS for Medical Students. I don’t want a complete fucking Stranger sitting in the fucking corner during My Appointment. I know this isn’t the popular PC answer that’s because its the fucking TRUTH.

The Student DOESN’T NEED TO BE PART OF THE APPOINTMENT because I’m talking to My Doctor about sensitive Personal Health History, Current Situation, and Future Treatment Plans such as Various Medications or Diagnostic Tests or perhaps Surgery. Your relationship with Your Doctor is fucking PRIVATE thats why Medical Records are LEGAL DOCUMENTS, and We have a little thing called DOCTOR-PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY.

But I’ll Digress for Now.

       

The Biggest Challenge over the Last Week was the Shit Weather. A massive motherfucker of a Storm front came rolling through Our neck of the Woods. It was Overcast and Rainy along with Blustering Winds and Severe Thunderstorms. So needless to say Our Internet Connection Capabilities/ Service was Virtually Non Existent. It’s the One True Disadvantage to Living in the Middle of  No-Fucking-Where USA.  Hopefully things will Markably Improve Next Month when We switch Our Internet Provider.

The f-yourfilm “Shoot My Face Off, I Like It” (SMFO) Video Game Documentary has already turned into a Labor, No Burden of Love. This Project is not an easy to say the Least. I feel like some sort of fucking Gamer Spy or some insane shit. The Company that made the Game Vanished overnight, and it Removed almost every Scrap of Evidence that the Game ever in fact Existed at All.

       

To further make things difficult the Japanese Government ended up Outlawing SMFO and Did everything in It’s power to make any and all information pertaining to SMFO miraculously Disappear from Public Record. All Sites and Forums for SMFO along with any News Story or Article (Televised, In Print or Online) or Advertising pertaining to SMFO has apparently been Suppressed to the umpteenth degree.

We may just end up Posting a 6 part SMFO Series on What We have managed to scrape up by the skin of Our Teeth. Since We aren’t at all sure the Documentary will be able to Answer the Vast Majority of the Questions surrounding this Video Game Enigmatic Mystery. We shall See.

For those Who have commented on the LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER series Yes We fucked up and LJPPW faltered in Our goal of Daily Posts/Posting. We were concerned that New Reader’s may become confused or miss something because They might look at the Post List and think its a LJPPW centric Blog. We have had a sit down (by this I mean We sat around Our Favorite Bar and Brainstormed using Alcohol as Fuel for the Process) and here is what We decided.

       

The first thing We decided to due is Scrape the Failed Daily Post/Posting since its an exercise in Futility, BUT We knew We had to think of something. Quite Obviously the easiest thing to due was Limit the Number or Posts to Every Other Day. This seemed like a similar set up issue wise as the Daily Posting Deal. We certainly didn’t want to fuck up again so We kept Thinking and Drinking.

Someone suggested perhaps making just 2 LJPPW  Posts a Week One on Monday at the start of the Week, and One on Friday at the End of the week as well. This was Not at all a bad idea yet it seemed to be lacking something key. In the End We agreed LJPPW feels like a Sunday Comic like Dick Tracy and Tarzan from The Past in Print. Thats to say its an ongoing Story but like with Sunday Comic or Television Shows its contained to a single Episode Per Week. That Episode will be Posted every SUNDAY starting with this Coming One (6/30)

      

Thats All We got for Now So Stick With US and See Were It Goes.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

The Tale of The Hellacious Hospital

I was 13 years old and it was the beginning of Summer Vacation. The first 2 weeks went splendidly as all I did was fuck off with friends all day, and cause minor trouble as our Town was boring as shit. Then one random morning I woke up with what felt like the worst cramp of my life in my lower left side. In addition I was nauseous as all get out as the pain increased to the point I walked virtually bent over at the waist. After a couple of days of this my Parents took me to our family Doctor. It took him less than 30 seconds to double check his almost instant diagnosis, and then informed us it was Appendicitis that would require immediate treatment. So instead of heading off to camp the next day I headed off the the local Hospital.

Now Appendicitis (along with Tonsillitis) are the two easiest fucking things not only for a Doctor to Diagnose its equally as easy for a Surgeon to remedy through simple Surgery. As one might imagine it plays out as your sick, you go to doctor, doctor makes his/her diagnosis, go strait to the nearest Hospital, get Admitted, and then immediate Surgery. This is specially important for Appendicitis as the longer it goes untreated the higher the risk it could rupture causing Secondary Infection(s) a real bitch.

Well thats not quite how it went with me thats for fucking sure. The first part went normally until I arrived at the Hospital as shit went down hill from there rather quickly. Now once I was admitted in stead of preforming the needed immediate (not quite an emergency but pretty damn close) Surgery they did the exact opposite they waited. They waited for the sole fucking reason of using me as a case example for the small Army of Interns. The next 36 or so hours Doctors came in and poked and prodded the shit out of me in-between marching in groups of 6-10 Medical Students/Interns?Residents.

Nothing like lying in the Hospital as your Summer Vacation rots away, but to be treated like a fucking Lab Animal was the worst of it all. Doctor’s are such disconnected Cunts, they really are. Doctor’s have no what they call Bedside Manner, and Bedside Manner translates to Talking/Treating the Patient like a human not a project. So all these Medical Motherfucker’s keep parading in apparently whenever the fuck they felt like it.

Finally they preformed the Surgery or Appendectomy, and shit went back to normal as far as protocol was concerned. I hung out post Opp for a day or so and the Hospital Released Me. Once again I settled into a regular Summer Routine until one day I woke up sick as a dog. I a fever, Cold Sweats, Nausa, Diarrhea, No Appetite, and all that Super fucking Flu symptomatic shit. Again after several days it became apparent this wasn’t a cold, flu or food poisoning and I went back to the Doctor. He couldn’t tell us the root cause, but he did strongly advise taking me back to the Hospital and my parents did.

Long story Shorter I was readmitted, examined, and tested. The Doctor’s came to the conclusion that (and this is the only fucking way we found out this even happened as in They never said shit about it) because my Appendix had in fact Burst that there were 2 pockets of Infectious Puss lingering around the Surgical site like two Sepsis Clouds. The Doctor’s next task was to locate the pockets of infection, and then administer proper treatment due on location alone.

Long story shorter I had to go through 2 additional Surgical Procedures to actually drain the infections. Now of these 2 Procedures I’m only going to take the time to address is the first of the two. This is how it all went down. One of the Diagnostic Tests was an MRI which located the pockets of infection in the first place. Now based on the MRI Results the Doctor’s opted to preform this fucked up little maneuver. This one must remember was in the days LONG before Twilight Anesthesia was even considered. In spite of lacking the current anesthetic options of today came over to me (I’m shirtless and still laying prone on the MRI Machine arms stretched above head) and inform me their going to attempt to drain one of the pockets of infection right then and there. Their reasoning was that it was very close to “the skin” if by that you mean under all 5 layers of skin and then the subsequent muscle. They then I shit you not hit me with 17-21 shots of Novocaine in my abdomen as Anesthetic.

Then this little feeble wobble of a man came out of the control room and over to me. This guy looking like a goddamn 5th grade Science teacher mustache, Bowtie, and all. This douche informs me that he is going to take a  very thin needle (about 2 feet long I shit you not) and then jam it into my abdomen. From there he is going to manual suck out the puss and shit with a large syringe attached to the other end of the motherfucking needle.

Things didn’t start well as the Fat Fuck stabbed me and fucking missed the Soft Ball sized pocket of infection in spite of being able to see exactly where the fuck it was. Once we withdrew the needle he had to insure there was no internal bleeding by pushing down with all his might (not to mention body weight) on the injection site. He then manages to finally after over a fucking hour of this horse shit torture got the job essentially done. To this day if I ever see this Guy on the street I’m going to stab him repeatedly in his fucking fat little face with a rusty Screw Driver, Just Saying.

With the pockets of infection drained I spent a few more days on intravenous Antibiotics, and then sent on my way once again. Summer was back on track for the next 3 weeks anyway. See this is where shit gets really weird. I woke up one day exhibiting the exact same symptoms of Appendicitis though my Appendix for all incentive purposes had been Surgically removed over a month ago at this point. Needless to say I was off to and readmitted to the Hospital. I honestly have no fucking clue why my parents would take me back to that Shithole Hospital for a 3rd time, but I digress under protest.

Long story shorter the Doctor’s spent days subjecting me to what turned out to be every test in the fucking book to No Avail. The Doctor’s were perplexed as they to couldn’t figure out how a surgically removed Appendix could affect someone with a classic example of Appendicitis. After toiling away with machines and men in the Lab they were no closer to finding the reason. Exasperated and exhausted the Doctor’s came to talk to us about what the fuck to do. The Doctor’s started by stating the now obvious that regardless of all the fucking tests, everything for all intensive purposes looked absolutely normal.

This left the Doctors with only one last option and that was to do an Exploratory. See Exploratory Surgery sounds all nice and fucking official with a hint of NASA to it, but here is what Exploratory Surgery is in Laymen’s terms. Exploratory Surgery means going more Medieval in Medical Methods. That is the Doctor’s can’t figure out why your sick so they actually cut you open, and literally poke around like a car mechanic under the hood of a car. Thats it, they slice you open to actually see if they can find shit out first hand since the million dollar machines produced shit as far as results.

What they found was truly intriguing. Since the Scumbags waited so long before operations that my Appendix had ruptured, and ruptured spectacularly (meaning huge amount of infectious collateral damage) that we all knew already. The Doctors went on to explain that the middle of my Appendix blew the fuck up when the Appendix ruptured, and when the Surgeon went in initially  he removed the base or bottom part of the affected Appendix. Now what no one could have foreseen the Tip of the Infected Appendix broke off with a independent blood supply (not sure to this day exactly what the hell that means), and then slid down by my right Kidney. Once it reached my right Kidney it proceeded to hug up against it so tightly that on tests it just appeared to be part of the Kidney’s natural exterior.

The odd thing (at the time it didn’t compute with my parents) was my Parents were approached several times by various Doctors not associated with my case reassuring them the Hospital handled my case fine, and all this other shit was unavoidable. What that says to me is “We fucked up bad, but we don’t want to get the shit sued out of us so we’re backpedaling to save our asses with False Reassurances.

Any who for all the bullshit, time, and consequent suffering I did achieve one thing note worthy. On the Medical History for said Hospital I’m on the Books as the only Patient to have His Appendix out Twice.

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober 

The Damnedest Thing When It Comes To Doctors

Here is a short list of 3 things I have noticed about doctors that are rather fucked up to say the least.

  1. Doctors never admit money was part of the decision to become a doctor. I’m not saying by any means that it was the only or main reason but undoubtedly money, a lot of money, played a big role. No doctor I have asked  (its been approximately 6 doctors including specialists) have had the balls to admit the money factor. Instead they ramble fumbling and bumbling about they were interested in medicine, their father/mother are doctors or wanting to help patients. If doctors weren’t serious about their salaries and truly believed in benefiting humanity through medicine they wouldn’t refuse service to patients without insurance or donate a large chunk of their time to support free health services. But instead they hide behind the Hippocratic Oath which they took after passing the board exams and means as much as learning parallel parking for the drivers test, once you pass you never do it again.
  2. I fully understand that collage and medical school cost an ungodly fortune which is unfortunate. With that said I object to doctors padding their bill if you will in order to pay off their student loans which average around $100,000 plus. So while I am empathetic to doctors  having to endure such heavy financial student loan debt ITS NOT MY JOB TO REPAY THEIR STUDENT LOANS.
  3. If you want to chap a doctors ass in a big way call them by their first name . Now your totally entitled to do so yet people become subservient when it comes to doctors. The fact people fear illness and more over death that they wouldn’t even imagine calling their doctor by their first name. The was I see it if I’m paying you for your services then essentially I’m your fucking boss plain and simple.
  4. Lastly why is it Doctors damn near demand to be addressed as doctor. I don’t call any one else by their profession . I don’t call people mechanic Bukowski, Banker Lawson, lawyer Johnson or Cashier Newman. The sole reason I endorse is doctors are insanely egotistical to the point of narcissism, their so high and mighty because they can fix the injured and heal the sick they develop a borderline god complex.

Thats all for now Ladies and Gentlemen.