Tag: meth addict

SOCK SIX

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring SOCK 6 by David Firth and is One of His Longer Videos with a Runtime of 16 Minutes 51 Seconds. For those Who are Unaware David Firth is an English Animator, Director, Writer, Musician, Actor, Voice Actor, Video Artist, Broadcaster, and Creator of the Now Legendary SALAD FINGERS. The Word NIGHTMARE is used most often to Describe Firth’s body of Work and Why We are such Diehard Fans of His work. Several of Firth’s works in Flash Animation, along with Multiple Music Videos and Works of Video Art, have garnered a Large (and Ever Growing) Followings Over the Years.

Now Our Favorite David Firth Animation(s) is His SALAD FINGERS Series that is Until We watched SOCK 6 which fucking Instantly became Our new Firth Favorite. SOCK 6 ramps up the fucking Creep Factor taking it to a whole New fucking Level even for Firth and We think that’s P{pretty fucking Awesome. SOCK 6 takes Place in a Stark Post Apocalyptic Wasteland that Remind Us of the Old Stock Footage of Nuclear Bomb Test Sites from the 1950s. In the 1950s the American Military for some Reason would Construct Mock Towns Populated by Mannequins, and then Nuke the Holy Hell out of Them. Why the fuck would They go through All that Trouble Staging a Bomb Site, but Who fucking Knows what the fuck They were Thinking. The Story follows a Scievy  Nameless Main Character (Who looks like Your Garden Variety Meth Addict) Starting in a Grimy Cafe/Diner with a Cook that’s a Mass of fucking Tentacles Named Allen. As far as We’re Concerned Allen is a Interdimensional Entity that’s a Cross Between the Kracken and Cthulhu and Accesses Our Dimension via a Portal that looks like a Food Service Window at a  fucking Medival Times Restaurant.

From the Cafe The Main Character travels with a pair of Ghoulish looking Twins in a Car ride that can Only be Described as Hellish. The Woods are filled with Smoke, People Burning, People Melting Under the Intense Heat, Dying, and Some are Being Tortured. Then Arguably the Most Demented Part of the Video Occurs as the Main Character Engages in Beastiality with a Talking Female Cow. After fucking the Cow the Main Character Forces the Cow to Play a Childish Game with Dire Consequences. That’s when the Police get involved, Arrest, and Imprison the Main Character in in what Looks like a Solitary Confinement Cell in a Stank Basement Dungeon. Then the Main Character asks a Strange Woman Survey Questions about Pissing, Shitting, Suicide, and Sex while She is on the Toilet.

And Well That’s All We have to Say So On to SOCK 6!

Description: This is Sock Six, a story about a man and his special Genetical and bovine adventures.

 

It is What it Is,

 Presented By Less Sober

We’ll Make Great Pets? By Spacedog

The first half of my day yesterday was complete garbage. It consisted of sitting in traffic for an hour, getting two different credit cards declined (special shout out to Wawa and Boscovs), sitting in traffic for 2 hours and contemplating peeing my pants because I had a towel to sit on and was on my way home.

As void of intrigue and drama as I tend to be, I chose against peeing myself. This isn’t about pee though. I mean it felt absolutely amazing to do so at that point but that being the highlight of my mediocre day was not quite mediocre enough yet. I decided to do one of the most boring things that the era of the Internet has ever bought upon us. I decided to clean out my e-mail.

Now I have way too many e-mails. I know of 7 different accounts, but there probably exist a multitude of others at very dead sites. AOL, Yahoo, Juno, Hotmail, Myspace. I’d rather not read the ancient e-mails I sent in my 20s or from the dawn of time (the 90s) because well I mostly sit and think who the fuck was that guy.

So I decided to actually open up an e-mail from a random social media site called Hi5. It is not the greatest site but not the worst unless you take into account the people they tell you to speak converse with. I would show my last recommendations but just imagine a cohabitation of meth users, the morbidly obese, and people who look like an attractive young man but sadly the picture is clearly on 1970s quality film.

There is one bizarre thing this site does have. I really have never seen anything quite like it. While Facebook has (or had?) pokes, the gays have their woofs, every site has likes and Myspace has ghosts Hi5 has pets. What is the point of pets? I haven’t the slightest idea. I bought my first pet about six years ago in that time period when Myspace just died and your mom wasn’t quite on Facebook yet.

Every member is up for sale with virtual cash. I don’t know if I started with it or watched a video or two or to earn more but I just started buying cute guys. I wanted a decent amount from each country to diversify I suppose. It was basically just a bunch of clicking and clicking and clicking and I grew tired of it rather quickly.

The entire site as a matter of fact. It is like the Craigslist of social media, an odd blend of when MySpace was legit, old school AOL and creepy guys that lurk in oversized vans. The pet thing made me take the opposite approach though when I got unwanted attention. I would just buy people instead of block them.

And oh I bought them. The straights, the gays, the ladies, I even bought myself a big boned lady with a great big retard smile. I only wasted maybe 2 hours of my life doing this in total of my entire life. I really wonder though what was the point of all of this? I was owned by some lady (or man pretending to be a model, this lady was unreal looking Brazilian goddess). There were many messages of I love you and I love my pets on my page over the past few years which only make me laugh my ass off. I mean I like love and all, who really doesn’t when it comes to it, but this woman took the pet thing all too seriously.

I mean I could message all these pets of mine or meme them to death, but I feel more connected to the people I met on a Greyhound bus 15 years ago, despite not having talked to them in 15 years. I’m clicking on links right now but I am not even really sure why. I could be eating, exercising, masturbating, actually texting more then one person, actually paying attention to my TV or my music which are inexplicably both on for some reason.

I mean I guess it could have been worse. I could have bought only blacks and dreamed of my past life on a plantation but I’m Polish and the only black things we’ve ever owned are prune babkas. I could be a peddler of midgets. This seems like a fantastic type of journey I suppose, except I can’t search for people by height and would probably have to click no about 1,000 times to find one midget let alone an armada of midgets.

I could collect the deformed. I’m pretty sure this would involve way less clicking but since you are the company you keep I would just be the product of looking at ugly people, become incredibly hideous, and 400 pounds while clicking faster then any sized person barring maybe a handful of Korean Starcraft players.

Long story, long… this shit is weird as fuck. In some virtual reality type mall where I could see these people it would be funny to go up and buy people in a window but frankly I’d buy someone naked. So rest assured, I know too will get naked and become one with the night.

If you want to check out these oddities for yourself, head over to hi5.com. Check out the meager selection from the dating pool, the dead accounts, and waste an hour or so buying some pets. I can promise they won’t give you rabies over your connection, but carpal tunnel may be in your future if you happen to be riding the tsunami of boredom.