Tag: militias

November 7th, 2020 The Day America Saved Its Own Ass

I don’t Comment on Much or Really Anything about the World Outside of FYB on FYB and there’s a Couple Good Reasons Why. First Off FYB is a World Unto Itself, and Should Not be fucked over by the Bullshit in Real Life as FYB Provides well needed Escapism. The Second is one of the Wisest things Anyone Ever fucking Told Me which is “Three things You should’t discuss with Other People about Money, Politics, or Religion.”, and I will never forget it to the Day I Depart this Planet. Money is a relatively New Addition to the List of Topics, but as for the Latter Two it’s Old News. The Reason for Avoiding said Topics is They Both can Turn a Relaxed and Pleasant Conversation into a UnHoly Shitshow in a Matter of a few Seconds.

                   

With that Said I Honestly Feel at this Particular Point in American History I Want to, Need to, and Must go on the Record. Four Years Ago in 2016 when a Certain Orange Shit Gibbon Stole the American Election the Country and the Entire World knew things were going to Get Really fucked up, But No One Knew to what Extent. Well its pretty fucking Safe to Say that the Increasing Nightmare in America was Far More Fucked Up than even the Most Pessimistic Pessimist could have Predicted. The World watched On in Shock and Awe as They watched a Once Proud Nation Slip Further and Further into a Fascist Ruled Poverty Ridden Police State. I’ll say it America was Headed Straight Towards the First American Dictator with The Orange Asshole in Office. America Long Standing Issues of Wealth Inequality, Party over Country, Racism, Oppression of Women Rights, Homophobia, Anti-Semitism, and an Unchecked Level of Ignorant and Uneducated People Rise to a Unthought Level of Pure Hate Driven Destruction.

                   

The Orange Anti-Christ was Only Out for Himself, and the Pay Day of Being President, from Day One He Only Served Himself. As far as Everyone Else as Far as His Fat Orange Ass was Concerned Fuck Them All. He Lied over 20, 000 Documented Times, He Uses Social Media to Lie and Spread Propaganda/Misinformation/Conspiracy Theories, He was IMPEACHED for Attempting to Commit Treason by using a Foreign Country to Interfere in a American Election, He Alone (Not Including His Administration of Assembled World Class Abominable Assholes, and His Ass Kissing Associates)  has had over 100 Scandals Ranging from Pedophilia to 27 Charges of Rape to Promoting Racism/Racist Organizations or Groups to Tax Fraud to Committing Treason in 2016 and trying again in 2020.

The Orange Asshat did Everything He could to Divide Americans turning The People Against Themselves. Meanwhile He and His Corrupt Party of Complict Traitors and Army of Ass Kissing Sycophants could Grab Fist Fulls s of Dirty Dollars and Lust for More and More Power. The Orange Assclown was the Actual Human Equivalent to fucking Cancer. Everything He touched or Associated with turned to Total Unadulterated Shit. He Personifies what is referred to as a “Shit Person”.

                   

Then After Four Long and Insanely Dark Years the Orange Emperor of Assholes Illegitimate Presidency was Threatened with Termination of a Second Term by the 2020 Presidential Election. Now the Orange Anal Fisher had a Particular Problem being the “Boy Who Cried Wolf” Syndrome. The Obese Orange Bastard had been Caught Habitually Lying to the Point it His Lies were Loosing Their Power to Manipulate the Masses. So the Evil Orange Asshole amped up His Cult Base of The Shittiest People on the fucking Planet (Racists, Evangelicals, Pedophiles, Crooks, Liars, Thieves, Sex Offenders, Drunken Wife Beaters, Uneducated White Trash, Homophobes, AntiSemites etc.) to New Heights of Hellacious Havoc. He became so Desperate He and His Piece of Shit Party tried and Spouted all the fucking bullshit They could come up with. Not to Mention as They made Allegation after Allegation to Date all have been TOTALLY UNFOUNDED and Utterly fucking FALSE. The Shit They Babbled on about became Increasingly Bizarre and Absurd to the Point it was a fucking Joke even Alienating His Own Supporters. The Orange Anus’s Legacy (like His Entire Life is One) is One Ongoing Full Blown FAILURE.

                    

Inevitably the Outrageous Orange Assface Ranted, Raved and Raged to No Avail, and Lost His Re-Election Campaign to a True Leader. Unfortunately since We are Dealing with The Orange Ass Implant We are still having to Tolerate a Tremendous Amount of Sore Loser Bullshit and Complete Conspiracies along again with ENDLESS LIES. The Orange Idiotic Asshole is a Minuscule Minded 74 year Old Toddler Who Lied and Lost the Election and now is having a Full On Temper Tantrum like an Enraged Tween. Along with the Asinine Antics of the Orange Rectal Tumor We also have to Endure the same Line of Shit from the Few Remaining Political Cronies Towing the Line of Elections Lies trying to Overturn the Entire Election the Traitorous Titfucks. They all should be Fired, Arrested, Tried for Treason for Their Revolting Perversions of/in Politics and Fucking Over the People They were Meant to Serve, and Locked Up for the Rest of Their Shit Eating Lives.

                    

Now if that wasn’t Enough fucking Insult to Injury after the Last Four Years of Hellishness We also have to Account for the Orange Assbag’s Shitty Supporter Cult Base. They like Their Lame ass Loser Leader are Pitching Fits like Theres No fucking Tomorrow especially Thanks to Social Media among other things. These are the Same Sacks of Shit that in 2016 Gloated to the Ends of the fucking Earth when the Orange Anus Itch Stole the Election (Thanks to Russian Interference Lead by Vlady Putin), AND Talked Mad Shit to Anyone Who didn’t Support Their Detrimental Dipshit of a So called Leader. They ran around Starting Shit as Much as They Possibly Could because They Felt Empowered by the Orange Assfuck to be the Actual Scumbag Shitfuckers They are. So to all those Orange Asshole Supporters still out there tell Me if this Sounds Familiar “FUCK YOUR FEELINGS!”

                   

To All the Orange Asshole’s Supporters who said if He lost They’d Leave America then GET THE FUCK OUT ALREADY YOUR FUCKING SORE LOSERS. To the Shitty Supporters who said They’d take to the Streets and Incite all kinds of Violence WHERE YOU HIDING YOU FAKE TOUGH GUYS? To The Racist Groups who backed the Orange Ass Suck WHERE ARE YOU NOW that Your Leader has FALLEN. To all the Evangelicals that said if the Orange Asshole Lost God would Abandon Humanity and all that Bible Beating Bullshit LOOKS LIKE GOD DOESN’T AGREE WITH OR LIKE YOUR FAKE CHRISTIAN ASSES. To all the Orange Asshole Militia Motherfuckers who Claimed They’d take Back America if He Lost WE HAVE THE ACTUAL MILITARY WITH REAL SOLDIERS YOU WANNBE GI JOE JOKERS. We all now have The Proof of what We knew All Along just like the Orange Anal Abortion His Shitty Supporters are All Bark and No Bite, They’re all Talk because in Actuality They are Scared little Punkass Cowards. My Advice to the Orange Asshat’s Supporters Grow a Spine and Shove it Up Your Ass.

                   

Thank Fuck those Dark Days are Slowly Dying Away as America does What America Does. We get Complacent and Forget the Events from the Past/History that We have had to Endure then All Hell Breaks Loose, and America has to Suffer until The Citizens put Their Personal Bullshit Aside, Unite, and Triumph over Adversity. America has a New Honest, Competent, Positive, Educated, Experienced, Compassionate NEW LEADER to Help America Rise like a Phenix Once Agin from the Ashes of Chaos, and to Return to Glory Stronger than Ever Before. In the End the Revolting Orange Asshole and His Administration of Assholes will Fall, They will be Removed by Force if Necessary, and They will Pay for all Their Sleazy Dealings/Crimes. Truth has Beaten Tyranny the Wannabe Dictator is Done, and Finally after Four Years American can begin down the Long Road to Recovery and Prosperity.

P.S. FUCK TRUMP.

Thanks For Reading,

By Les Sober  

Yet Another Reason Not To Visit Mexico

One day my good friend Danka and I were drinking on the stoop of Danka’s house playing the “Most Fucked Up Story Game”. The game is rudimentary and simplistic. The goal is to tell the most fucked up story of the evening thus becoming the winner.

Dana served a short time in the United States Navy before being discharged for being an Alcoholic who was “Derelict of Duty” or some stupidly phrased bullshit statement. You see Danka had a habit of going binge drinking while on shore leave which resulted in a semi concous Danka being dragged to returning to the ship for check in by his fellow soldiers. Finally Danka out did even himself by missing Check In in favor of chilling at some waitresses’s apartment he was hooking up with in Tijuana, eating Captain Crunch cereal, and watching American cartoons in Spanish. Well that was the final straw that broke the preverbal Camal’s back, and the Navy booted Danka instructing him never to return to any branch of the United States Military ever again.

Before being unceremoniously kicked out of the Navy Danka had spent several months down in Tijuana Mexico were he was temporarily stationed for some fucking Navy related reason. While in Tijuana Danka learned some  tactics for day to day safety and survival that weren’t taught in the Navy. It was simply how to navigate daily life in Tijuana without running into trouble with Thieves, Drug Dealers, Pimps, Gangs, Cartels, Muggers, Car Jackers, Con Artists, Drug Addicts, Hookers, Ex Convicts, Militias and Corrupt Cops.

Now with the corrupt Cops it was basic Extortion. If a Tourist per say wandered into the wrong neighborhood the Cops would arrest them, and then drive them directly to an ATM. The Police Officers would then demand a bribe of usually $300 U.S., BUT if you refused to pay they would take you to jail on some bullshit trumped up charge. While it goes without saying that Jail fucking sucks, and is one of the last places anyone would want to find themselves especially in a foreign 3rd World Country. Mexican Jails have a foul reputation for being filthy, over crowded, understaffed, Bribing of Guards, Murders, Rapes, and inhumane living conditions for the most part.

This is what happened to Danka’s buddy named Blackburn. Blackburn was on shore leave and had had a few drinks when he wondered off the main fairway into a shitty neighborhood. While desperately trying to find his way back, which was complicated by his intoxication, Blackburn was picked up by a couple of Corrupt Cops looking for a quick pay day. The Cops drove Blackburn to the ATM and demanded payment ($300 U.S. per Officer times 2 for a total of $600 U.S.), and Blackburn told them too fuck off because he wasn’t giving them a single goddamn cent. So the Cops threw Blackburn into the back of the squad car, but instead of taking him to the nearest shithole jail they drove him to a sleazy Dive Bar on the outskirts of the city that featured Nightly Donkey Shows (if you don’t know what a Donkey Show is Google it) The police shoved Blackburn into the dimly lit backroom of the Bar and tied him to a rickety wooden chair. The Police then proceeded to sell Blackburn to the Bar owner for $775 U.S. and then left quickly.

The Bar owner had one of his cronies take Blackburn out back to a Small Barn located next to the Bar. Once there Blackburn was stripped buck naked and tied to a barn post. The Bar Owner’s henchmen then ground up 3 or 4 bottles of Viagra and mix them with a quarter ounce of Crystal Meth. Once the concoction was full mixed together the Side Kicks laced a 32 ounce Corona with it, and then fed it to a Donkey that was penned up in a cramped stall. About 50 minutes later the Donkey had a raging 18 inch erection and was violently kicking the sides of the pen. One of the Cronies then untied Blackburn from the post, and then tied his hands behind his back while the other crony aggressively lassoed the inscenced Donkey. The 3 men and the doped up Donkey then made their way over to the Bar and entered through a side delivery entrance.

The Bar smelled like hot stale beer and body oder mixed with piss. There were a handful of patrons spread out through out the Bar that was so smoky it was like being trapped in a fucking mist or some shit. The Henchman responsible for Blackburn took him over to a worn out Pummel Horse that was held together with Duct Tape. He then bent Blackburn over the Pummel Horse and bound Blackburn’s wrists and ankles together. Next a shitfaced MC comes on a beat 1972 PA System to announce the Nightly Donkey Show is Starting. After a short pause to allow the Bar Patrons time to freshen their drinks and light a smoke the 2nd Henchman dragged the Donkey over fighting it every step of the way. As the Donkey was being brought over the Bar Owner came over to Blackburn and sprayed him with Female Donkey Pheromones and Menstrual Blood to get the deranged drugged up Donkey’s attention. It worked. It worked extremely well. In an instant the Donkey got a whiff of Blackburn and galloped over to him, and mounted Blackburn placing its front legs on Pummel Horse on either side of Blackburn. As soon as the Donkey penetrated Blackburn it went fuck wild, this Donkey wasn’t playing “Just The Tip” with Blackburn he was slamming shaft balls deep in Blackburn’s battered butthole. It took about 17 minutes before the Donkey finally completed and its semen was seeping out of Blackburn’s broken butthole like a garden hose.

Blackburn was about to be loaded into a car and left to die of his injuries in the Desert to die when the a group of American Military Police busted in the front door of the Bar with a vengeance. Blackburn had to be taken out on a fucking stretcher and Medivaced by Helicopter to a Special Surgical Trauma Hospital in Seattle Washington. Blackburn lived after spending the better part of a year in the Hospital where the Surgeons removed just over 8 feet of his intestines, rebuilt his bowls, reconstructed his rectum, and stitched up his sphincter. Blackburn was discharged from the Navy Under Section 8 Status due to his Donkey Rape induced PTSD. He moved home to Shasta South Dakota and lives in his Mom’s basement on permanent disability watching Anime while drooling on himself while playing with his pecker making guttural sounds.

Needless to say there was no fucking way I could top that Tale of Terror in Tijuana so Danka went home that night quite drunk and the most fucked up story winner.

Thanks For Das READ,

 

Les Sober