Tag: mindfuck

Backrooms – Found Footage

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring BACKROOMS -FOUND FOOTAGE  Posted on A-Sync Research Channel. BACKROOMS -FOUND FOOTAGE is the Latest Installment of a Psychological Horror Series “Inspired” by the Original BACKROOMS Content Creator Kane Pixels. Some Explanation may be Needed. The Backrooms is a Creepypasta that was inspired by a Comment Left on a Picture of an “Unsettling Room” on 4Chan’s/x/board. The Comment inspired an Expanded Version of the Creepypasta as well as YouTube Videos on the Topic. The Backrooms Creepypasta was made into a Short Horror Film and a Horror Series by 16 Year Old American Director, Visual Effects Artist, and Youtuber Kane Pixels. The ongoing Online Horror Series’s First Installment was Uploaded to Youtube on January 7th, 2022 and Then the Rest of the Series has been Posted over the Course of the Many Months. All Previous Installments are Posted Here for Your Connivence as Well as Our Original Post on the Backrooms Creppypasta.

Well Then What The Fuck IS The Deal With The A-Sync Research? 

As it Turns Out there is a Secondary Channel called  A-Sync Research which We thought was a Secondary Channel created by Kane Pixels to Advance Plot Line, But We apparently were Wrong (at least as Far as Face Value is Concerned). A Comment by whoever the fuck is Responsible for the A-Sync Channel stated that the Channel isn’t Run by Kane Pixels, but instead it is Inspired by Him. So what the fuck is this all about then? Good fucking Question and Here is Our View on it. This A-Sync Person/People are NOT Random or are They Fans involved in some Fan Fiction Bullshit. And fucking TRUST US there is No fucking Shortage of Backroom Videos being Pumped Out Currently. Granted though at this Point in the BACKROOMS Trend there are More and More Convincing Copy Cat Videos being Posted. Everyone and their fucking Grandmother are jumping on the Backrooms Popularity  in a Classic Overkill Scenario of the “I wanna get in on that and be YouTube Famous Too!” Mentality.

So Then What The Fuck Is Our Point Pertaining To A-Sync Research?

The Person/People behind the Async Research Channel We Honestly Believe are Collaborating Virtually Side by Side with Kane Pixels. We Believe so since the Video Theme, Quality, Production Value, Scenery/Sets, Costumes, and Feel of the Perspective Content Creator’s Videos Coincide with One Another. In All the Other Backrooms Videos We have seen There are Small Harder to See to Glaringly Obvious Differences from Kane and Async’s Videos. The Backrooms Installment from Kane Titled “Presentation” and the Subsequent A-Syncs Video “Exit” have a Good bit in Common.  A Prime Example is the Miniature Models of the Backrooms Layout in “Presentation” is also Part of the “Exit” Video as well. Again that Doesn’t Negate the Fact there are Seriously SHIT TON of Videos About/Based on The Backrooms which Really Fucking Muddies the Waters. SO to Keep shit Somewhat fucking Organized We will Note Which Channel Kane’s or A-Sync’s for Each Respective Video.

Our Opinion On THE BACKROOMS Series/Videos/Channels:

This Unique Series does Something Rare Especially Now a Days which is it Simply fucking gets Better with Each Episode. The Series is also Incredible at Building the Tension of Each Installment until the fucking Anxiety of the Characters Bleeds through the fucking Screen. The Backrooms is Definitive fucking Proof You don’t Need a Shit Ton of Cash, Hollywood, Big Movie, An Orgy of CGI, Big Production Companies, Big Time Studios, Famous Actors, Film School/Degree, Jump Scares, or Even Gore to Mindfuck and Creep the Shit out the Audience. We Seriously fucking Enjoy that this Incredible Series’s Vibe/Feeling of Utter and Total Isolation (that Essentially Drives the Series) that was Picking Up Its Pace and Picking It Up Fast. Oddly Enough We seem to be in a Gray Area Impasse as far as the Continuation of the Series. The Last Backrooms (Backrooms – Betrayal) was apparently the Last of the Lost Cameraman Chris Footage it left Many wondering if the Series was indeed Over. Then there is this Additional Video and No One is certain what it may or May Not Signify going Forward.

            

Backrooms – Found Footage Synopsis:

First it is Important to Note a Couple of Key Points as it were that Set this Video apart from the Previous Episodes. First this Video has Absolutely Nothing to do with the Previous Episodes as it Doesn’t have dick to do with Async Research Employees or the Company. The Video begins with Two Teen Boys Shooting Hoops at a Presumably Local Basketball Court when things Suddenly go Awry as it were. Second while there is No Description Provided One of the Two Teens States the Date is in fact January 26, 1990. Third and Lastly this Video is a Mix of Live Action and Computer Animation with the Cameraman Providing Commentary so to Speak.

What Backrooms – Found Footage for all Intents and Purposes seems to be an Homage to the Original Kane Pixel’s Backrooms Short Film that went on to Become the Series, and the Original Online Backrooms Creepypasta. The Premise of Backrooms – Found Footage is Starts off Much like the Short Film with Teens being Teens when Suddenly and Unexplainably the One group Member Filming No Glitches into the Backrooms. The Teen who Now finds Himself Stranded in the Ominously Creepy Backrooms Starts Off by Wondering Around Confused. As He is Exploring the Backrooms He is Talking Out Loud making Observations about His Surroundings, Asking Questions Aloud such as “Is This a Joke?” or “Who would Build this for No Reason”, and Other General Comments. In the Vein of No Spoilers We can Say the Following:

  • There is a Scene with the Basketball and a Pitch Black Hallway.
  • The Teen finds a Room where Someone has been Living where there is a Mattress, Clothes, and Apple Cores all Over the Floor.
  • The Teen makes a Gruesome Discovery in the Room.
  • The Teen at One Point enters a Section of the Backrooms that consists of Rooms Painted Blue with White Baseboards and Doorframes along with a Variety of Differently Sized Hallways. Could this be the Second Level of the Backrooms?
  • It DOES NOT End well for the Lost Teen.

 

 

It is What it Is,

  Presented By Les Sober  

He Took His Skin Off For Me

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring the 2014 Short Film HE TOOK HIS SKIN OFF FOR ME Written and Directed by Ben Aston. Aston is a London Born Filmmaker Who was Raised in Hong Kong, Australia, Bath, Singapore, and Shanghai.  His First Foray into Directing was a fucking Puppet Show at the Age of 11 that Lasted SO fucking Long it Required a fucking Intermission. After Graduating with a BA in Philosophy from Kings College London He spent a Year Setting up a Production House with Friends, Creating Short Films, Music Videos, and Ads for Political Organizations. This Resulted in a National Broadcast Job, which in turn Paid for Aston’s First Term at the London Film School.

We will Admit that this HE TOOK HIS SKIN OFF FOR ME is Rather fucking Tame for the Type shit We Post Normally but So fucking What?! We like this Short Horror Film  for a Few Reasons First being the Name that Reminds Us of Other Similar Movie Titles like “I Drink Your Blood!” or “I EAT YOUR SKIN”. Secondly it Also happens to Remind Us of One of Our Favorite fucking Movies of all Time the Clive Barker’s Hellraiser Horror Movie Franchise. We mean Seriously what the fuck Else would Someone Think of (instead of the Hellraiser Reference) when the Topic of Skinless People Comes Up for fucks Sake?!

Next We do Enjoy the Fact that HE TOOK HIS SKIN OFF FOR ME is Not a Gore Soaked Splatter Movie, But Man if it fucking was it Be fucking Fantastic. This Short Film falls into the Creepy Asian Horror Movies for while Asian Horror has Gore Movies/Splatter Movies/Torture Porn Out the fucking Wazoo this is the Other Variety. The Second School of Though in Asian Horror if You will is the Creepy Unnerving Mindfuck Horror Genre the Kind of Shit that Crawls into Your Cranium like a Cinematic Parasite. The kind of Horror Movie You simply Can’t Stop thinking About in Spite of How Much You may want To.

Lastly it has the Surreal Insanity Feel that’s Reminiscent of Director David Lynch and being Huge fucking Lynch Fans that’s Definite fucking Works for US. So the Best Way We can Describe this Film is Combine the Surreal Insanity of David Lynch with the Dark Mind of Clive Barker to make the Next Hellraiser Sequel.

Meanwhile it’s Important to Note Our Only Criticism is there Obviously should have been a shit ton More fucking Blood like fucking Buckets of it a Borderline Blood fucking Bath.

It is What it Is,

 Presented By les Sober

A Hard Fork For Humanity

Welcome to Today’s Post featuring A HARD FORK FOR HUMANITY by Content Creator Known as Umami (aka Justin Tomchuk) Who is a Canadian Artist and Content Creator who makes Surrealist Animated Videos. We can say in All and Utter Honesty is this is by FAR the Trippiest Mindfucker  of Video by Umami that We have seen to Date. Not Only that it just so Happens to Also be One of the Trippiest Mindfucker Videos We have ever seen Period.

Now We really Can’t Begin to Describe this fucking Video worth a Damn, BUT luckily for Us the Description by Umami well Simple fucking Says it All. I know it We could be Accused of just “Phoning it In”, and to Those We say Watch this Motherfucker and THEN see if You still Think So. In Our Humble Opinion to get the Most Perspective it’s Beneficial to Smoke some Weed while Watching. So with that Said without Further Ado here is A HARD FORK FOR HUMANITY…….

     

Description by the Creator Umami:

Aboard the SpaceX Starship heading to Mars, a sentient packet of soup mix comes alive to school Elon Musk about its future inhabitants.

 

It is What it Is,

  Presented By Les Sober

FOR SHITS & GIGGLES: Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv

Welcome to Today’s Second FYB Post MEREANA MORDEGARD GLESGORV which is a Truly Unique Piece of Fuckery. You see this Video is Apparently a Online Urban Legend referred to as a Creepypasta. Allegedly if You Search this Video, Most of the Time You’ll find Jack Shit, BUT We were Lucky Enough that This Video just Fell into Our Laps Unexpectedly. If You did Mange to Find it You’d find a 34 Second Video of a Odd Looking Man Staring at You until He Says Something which We have No fucking Idea What the Language He is Speaking or if it’s Possibly English that has been Manipulated/Distorted.

However the 34 Second Video is Not in Fact the Entire Video which is 2 Minutes Long in its Entirety. As the Story Goes Youtube Took Down the Video after Allegedly 153 People Who Viewed the Video Not Only Gouged Out Their Own Eyes, BUT Then then Somehow Mailed Them to Youtube’s Main Office in San Bruno. There were also Reports of Alleged Viewers of the Video Committing Suicide in a Variety of Brutal and Gruesome Ways, and They Allegedly Carved a Cryptic Inscription on/into Their Forearms that has Not Yet been Deciphered.

          

Also Youtube will Periodically Post the First 20 Seconds of a Controversial Video to Hamper the Suspicion of Viewers, so this Way Hopefully No One Actually look for the Real Deal or Upload it Either. This Video was watched by a Single YouTube Employee who 45 Seconds( into the Original 2 Minute Video) Started Screaming Psychotically in a Intense Panic. Said Employee has been on a Heavy Course of Sedatives Ever Since Viewing the Video, and Claims He Doesn’t Actually Remember What the fuck it is He saw.

And Lastly the Person Who Originally Uploaded the Video was Never Found, The IP Address is Non-Existent, and the Man in the Video has Never Been Identified.

It is What it Is,

  Presented By Les Sober

Just When I Though I’d Seen It All…..

The Other Day Started just like another with Me Battling Dogs to reach My Phone to shut off the Alarm. The Issue is the Dog’s damn well Know that when the Alarm goes off I get Up, and They get to Go Outside which also apparently includes giving Them Each a Treat. Needless to Say after a Moderate Struggle I managed to Shut the Alarm off and Let the Dogs Out (Yeah it was Me so Suck On That), and then Immediately headed into the Kitchen to Whip up some Coffee or Go Juice as it is Referred to Around these Parts.

To say I’m NOT a Morning Person is the Understatement of the fucking Millennium and I wish I was Joking. The Rule is NO ONE is to talk to Me for a Full Hour after I get Up because While I look Awake and with it I am More or Less running on Autopilot. Unfortunately for Me a Man born without a Patient Bone in His Entire fucking Body Our Heavily used Keurig Shit the Bed quite a While Ago so My Wife started Using a French Press. So taking Several Technological Steps backwards I put the Kettle on the Stove, and Turned the Knob to Ignite the Flame since We use Natural Gas for Cooking (and to Heat Our Tankless Hot Water Heater). The Pilot Light was Crackling Away like a fucking Downed Power Line, but Alas there was No Flame to Speak Of. Annoyed by this Inconvenience I started Turning the Other Knobs in an Attempt to get One out the Four to Ignite and Agin My Efforts were Thwarted.

                    

My Anger Kicked in like a fucking Jet Engine Revving Up as the Idea of My Precious Coffee being Delayed even if for only a Few Minutes Enraged Me to No End. It was then that it Occurred to Me that I literally could Not Remember the Last Time I called the GAs Company to Refill Our Tank. Needless to Say I was Now under the Unacceptable assumption that We had fucked up by Not Monitoring the Level of Gas in he Tank , and Thus We must have simply Run Out of Gas. This would be a Royal Pain in the Ass Trust Me. The Gas Company is called Edisto and They are Nothing Short of a Bad Joke. In all Honesty it is BY FAR the Most Half Assed Operation I have Ever Witnessed and I’ve seen Plenty during the Course of My Life. A Quick Example of Edisto’s Ineptitude Ironically was When We Scheduled a Refill for Our Tank and When the Day Arrived the Edisto Employee Didn’t. The Good Old No Call No Show Routine. I called Edisto and Explained what happened and They Apologized and Said They’d Send someone out Right Away. Again No One Came without Any Notice Whatsoever. I called Edisto a Third fucking time, and the Third Time was the Charm as They Say, and at Last I got a Refill.

I ventured out onto the Front Porch and for Some Reason I still Don’t rightfully Understand Instead of going Left to Exit the Porch. You see I’d have to Walk from the Porch around to the side of the House where the Gas Tank is, Yet instead I cut Right because You can See (but Not Access) the Gas Tank from there. I leaned over the Railing and Turned My Head towards the Gas Tank I wasn’t at all Prepared for what I saw Next. The Gas Tank was Gone. The Four Cement Blocks it Sat On where still there along with the Disconnected Gas Line but the Gas Tank Itself had for all Intents and Purposes Up and fucking Disappeared.

                    

It was in that Brief Moment I learned what the Saying “Does Not Compute” actually meant as My Brain was so Scrambled by Confusion I initially had No fucking Clue what to do or what I should do next. It’s was total Mindfucking Clusterfuck as My Eyes relayed to the Brain the Gas Tank was in Fact No Longer where it Should Be, and My Brain just Couldn’t grasp the Concept. In all Favor something like a Gas Tank (which is  6 Feet Long, Standing 4 Feet High, and made of Steel) is something You would Never even Consider a Possibility. It would be like walking Out of Your House in the Morning to Find Your 2 Car Garage Missing, or Perhaps Your Driveway suddenly Vanished without a Trace.

As I scanned the Yard still in a complete State of Shock and Awe I noticed there were a Distinct set of Truck Tire Tracks running across My Front Lawn. They Truck Tracks ran From the Middle of My Driveway across My Front Lawn and Ended by where the Gas Tank had Previously been for the last Four fucking Years. Undoubtedly I did experience a Moment of Panic mixed with Extreme Anxiety where I though the Gas Tank had been Stolen. I was Equally aware that the Idea that Someone Stole it made Abosolutely No fucking Sense Whatsoever. Beside being Big, Bulky, and Heavy as Hell the Metal that the Gas Tank is Constructed with has Zero Scrap Value like say Copper Wiring/Pipes. It was as Mr. Spock Would Say “Illogical”. Even though the Whole thing Defied Logic it was abundantly Clear that the ONLY Culprit could be the Edisto. Why the fuck They took My Gas Tank without Notice or Warning still baffled Me. I thought it was Safe to assumed it must have to do with Money even though We hadn’t bought Gas Forever so How could We owe Them a Goddamn Dime?!

                       

Out of Sheer Bewilderment I called My Mother. I figured that having spent a Majority of Her Life Living in a Small Town in the South might have some Information on the Subject at Hand. When I spoke with Her She had No Clue Either What Possibly could be Going On and Said I should Call the Police. There was No Way in Hell I was going to (at least at this point or perhaps as a LAST Resort) call the Cops to Report My Gas Tank had Gone Missing. Calling the Police before Contacting the Gas Company seemed Foolish. I then Texted a Picture of the Vacant Area where the Gas Tank had been, and a brief Synopsis as to what had Occurred to My Wife who was at Work at the Time since it was Mid Morning. She Texted Me Back that Granted the Situation was Bizarre and that We Needed to call The Gas Company. Then being the Angel that She is asked if I wanted Her to call Them, and since I still felt Half Asleep, Denied My Glorious Cup of Coffee, and Befuddled Beyond Belief said Yes. I can say with One Hundred Percent Honesty that if I had called the Call would have broken down into a Serious Shit Show because in My Current State of Mind My Anger would Undoubtedly Rear its Ugly Head.

It only took about Ten Minutes Before My Wife Called Me with the Missing Pieces of the Missing Gas Tank Puzzle. It turned Out that it Never Occurred to Us that We didn’t Actually Own the Gas Tank even though it was There When We Bought the fucking House. Apparently the Gas Company Owns it and Charges Us a Five Dollar a Month Rental Fee which We were also Utterly Ignorant of. According to the Gas Company We hadn’t need a Refill since and I kid You Not Early 2019, BUT We hadn’t Paid the Rental Fee and They came and Repossessed Their Equipment. First of All We were Never informed of this Rental Charge (Neither was My Mother which Blew My Mind that Even She wasn’t Aware), but that Makes Sense considering the Gas Company is a Prime Example of How NOT to Run a fucking Business. I also riffled through the Past Years Bills, and Low and Behold there wasn’t a Single fucking Bill from the Gas Company pertaining to an Over Due Rental Fee Situation.

                    

In the End My Wife Paid Off Our Bill in Full, and by some Odd Twist of Fate somehow was Talked into Buying a Hundred and Fifty Gallons of Natural Gas. I’ve never been a Science Whiz so I’m not even Sure How the fuck You Measure a Gas in Gallons Since the Gallon is a Unit of Measurement Used for Measuring Liquids. Also if We use so Little Natural Gas that We went Damn Near Two Years on a Full Tank means with a Hundred a Fifty Gallons of Natural Gas We have More Then We could Ever fucking Use for the Rest of Our Lives. The Amazingly Strange thing to Me is in Spite of a True Comedy of Errors the Gas Company still some how Managed to make a Sale. I also thought to Myself that if the Gas Company Guy had Knocked on the Door I could have Paid Him right Then and There and all of the Bullshit wouldn’t have been Necessary. Needless to Say the Gas Company wasted its Own Time, Gasoline, and Man Hours having Their Employee take the Tank without trying to collect Payment First Firsthand. All I know is I wasn’t the Only Person Pissed Off about How this Scenario was Handled because when the Gas Company Guy Returned to Return and Hook up the Tank He looked Madder than a Motherfucker. He really Should have Tried Knocking on the Door.

Thanks For Reading,

   By Les Sober  

Try Scamming Me & I’ll Royally Fuck Up Your Day PT. 2: Counterstrike

 

I left off explaining in the last post that some Absurd Asshole(s) had contacted via text about trouble processing my Health Insurance Payment that was a BLATANT SCAM. In stead of flipping out and going batshit crazy with rage/revenge I would try a different plan. Here is what I did.

I did some Bong Rips and began to think about a plan. Now not only did I want to piss the Scam Artist off as much as they had me I also wanted it to be fun to do. I ended up coming around full circle by selecting Text Messaging as my form of communication versus Cell Phone Call. If I had chose to call the number included in the Text I know what the fuck would have happened.

I would have simply lost my shit and started cursing out the guy on the other end of the phone. The swearing then would be followed by a slew of insults and then violent threats of bodily harm. I seem to have inherited my Father’s intense source of Anger. My motto in situations like this is if you try and fuck with me or fuck me over I will return the favor 100 fold, BUT I digress.

Then I concocted a phony Movie Company Called Von Dire Films. Now Von Dire I thought should be a scummy, underground, indie, sleazy, offensive, and troubling films with titles like “Corpse Farm: A Return to Flesh” or some weird shit like that. I then came to the conclusion that Von Dire Films was a Self Promotional Merchandise Super Sluts who TEX BOMB the Hell out of random people hoping to secure some new fans/customers.

Here are some examples of the Von Dire Film Solicitation Texts:

Text 1.

You have reached Von Dire Movie Production Company. Unfortunately We are having budgetary issues while shooting our new Movie in Borneo called “Skull Fucking Your Bloody Skull”. We will be out of the Country for Filming for the next 8 weeks. Please leave any and all contact information pertaining to the specified project at Our Dark Web Website VonDiresFuckedUpFilm.Org

So to Our Fans We say “Fuck Off We’re Filming” & “Adios Assholes” so Thank You for Your interest in Von Dire International Snuff Film Productions LLC.

Text 2.

Von Dire Banned Films That with Mindfuck you like a Lobotomy!!!

WWW.VDBF.ORG

SUPER SICK SALE ALL WEEK LONG!!!!!!!!

Text 3.

Von Dire Film “Cannibalistic Coitus” Nominated for the Underground Picture of the Year at Cannes!!! Now Only $29.99!!!

See Our Website on the Dark Web for further details!!!

STAY SICK CITIZENS!!!!!!

TEXT 4.

VON DIRE IS BACK! in the Celluloid Slaughter Business with his new demented movie “Meat Hook Justice” Coming to American Theaters Feb. 14th 2018! ADVANCE TICKETS Sales Available Through Our Dark Web Website. SO SIGN IN, SHOP, AND STAY SICK!

Text 5.

Von Dire’s Ferral Film Festival set for Bucharest Sept. 18th 2018!!!

Gorepon Group Packages Available on our DARKEST WEBSITE!

HURRY BEFORE THEY SELL OUT!!!!!

GOREPONS START AT 12,000 BitCoin (Purchaser must have a Valid

PayPal account at time of Purchase)

Text 6.

Gorepon the Groupon of Grizzly Gore has current Tour Packages of

Killing Christ’s Kingdom Studios

VERY LIMITED TIME ON ONLY!!! DON’T THINK BUY. BUY.BUY.

TEXT 7.

VON DIRE Sinful Spoken Wicked Word Tour COMING SOON!!

Check Out Our Deepest Dark WebSite for Upcoming Information!!!

Have Your check books ready!!!!

Text 8.

Von Dire Biography 4 Sale!!! “Bloody Genital Mutilation: My Life Growing Up in Antartica” ON SALE! LIMITED NUMBER PRINTED!

ORDER NOW,NOW,NOW!!! (Sale Price 165 Euros) !!!

All We need is Your Social Security Card Number for verification of Purchase!

Text 9.

Von Dire Films Presents Bloody Sod Bollock’s

“Shoot My Face Off I Like It” Disturbing Documentary of Damnation

For Sale For LOW, LOW PRICE of 900 Yen!!!

All We Need is Your Debit Card Number and Pin Number!!!

Text 10.

Von Dire’s New Gothic Novel

“The Insurance Sucubus Slayer: Cannibalize The Conman”

Available now on BrutalBooks.Net for $49.99

All We Need is the Routing Number from a Personal Check!!!

Text 11.

Von Dire is Von Damit in “Demonic Dolphin Rape Cave 2”

Streaming on FuktFilms.Net for just the low price of $4.99 for

the 1st Minute and $2.99 each Additional Minute!!!!!

Text 12. “Lust and Lobotomies: The Jeffery Dalhmer Story” by Von Dire

Inspired by Real Life Insanity!!

Torn from the Headlines of Horror!!!!

On Sale Now For Just 17 Easy Payments of $59.99!!!!

Text 12.

Von Dire’s work will Haunt you!!!!

Check Out at Goddamn VOnDire.Org!!!

Text. 13

Von Dire Fan Club Enrolling NOW!!!

Von Dire’s Fan Club The Bloody Bastards has LIMITED OPENINGS!!!

Rare chance to become an actual Fan Club Member just Sign Up For

12 Months for $6,499.99!!!

9 Months for $4,995.99!!!

6 Months for $3,499.99!!!

3 Months for $1,499.99!!!

1 Month for just a mere $999.99

All You need to do is just send ALL Your Personal Banking Information to Us Via Our Deep Dark Dark Website!!

Text 13.

“Suck My Ass It Smells” the Von Dire GG Allin Punkumentary Slated for Release in FALL 2019!!! ADVANCE TICKETS FOR SALE!!!! BUY NOW!!!!!

Text 14.

It has come to Our attention that you haven’t purchased anything in QUITE A WHILE!

Please contact Us IMMEDIATELY with Your Credit Card Information Ready!!!

VON DIRE FILMS LLC “The Sickest Shit on Celluloid!!!”

LOG IN NOW! NOW! NOW! BUY! BUY! BUY! TODAY! TODAY! TODAY!!

Text 15.

WHY haven’t YOU visited Our Deep Website VonDire.Org Website??????

Please Stop and SHOP! SHOP! SHOP!

Deals! Sales! Discounts!! DOUBLE Fan Club Member Points!!!!!

Text 16.

It has come to the attention of Our Billing Department that You have an Outstanding OVER DUE Payment Pending for $749,999.99.

Contact Us IMMEDIATELY to Address this URGENT MATTER to Avoid Further Fines/Penalties before its TOO LATE!!

If You FAIL to contact us within 24 hours We will turn Your Current Past Due Amount over to The United States Federal Debt Collection Agency.

It be in Your Best Interest to CALL US TODAY and PAY Without Thinking or Questioning it. You can also Log Onto Our Darkest Website and SPEND the Equivalent on Merchandise.

Text 17.

You’ve been CAUGHT by MasterLock Security Monitoring Systems on Illegal    Von Dire DarkWeb Movie sites.

These Sites contained depictions of Extreme Fetishes, Donkey Shows, Eating Feces, Platypus Rape, S&M&B&D&GT, Pygmy Gangbangs, Live Sex Acts preformed by Sea Monkeys, Defamation of the Dead, Necrophilia, HillBilly Incest, Cattle Decapitation, Sex with Star Fishes, Genital Mutilation, Uniques, Rectal Insertion of Foreign Objects, Triple Fisting, Nipple Clamp Carnage, Group Masturbation, Coffin Coitus, Blood Lust Orgies, Vaginal Vomiting, Testicular Torture, Midgets Running a Train on a WNBA Center, Amputee Stump Humping, Skull Fucking, Ejaculating Blood, Among Other Offenses.

If You Do Not PAY the Fine of $15,499.99 to Us in Target Gift Cards OR Cigarettes WE WILL REPORT YOU TO THE NSA IMMEDIATELY POST HASTE!

Text 18.

Cunt-Fart & The Rotten Peckers have just signed a contract to record the entire Soundtrack for Von Dire’s Short Student Art Film

“Sadistic Sex Slug Sodomy”

Release due February 1st at MIDNIGHT through Our Super Sick Website!!!

Members get unlimited listening!!!

So Send Us a Photocopy of Your Driver’s License and a Blank Persona Check or Debit Card!!!!

ONLY $975.99 While Supplies Last BUY NOW WITHOUT DELAY!!!!!!

Shitting and Fondling Included for an Additional Fee of $64.99!!!

Text 19.

Visit VONDIREMERCH.ORG(Y).NET NOW!!!!HURRY!!! GO!!!!

Discount Sale Starts This Friday at Midnight on Our Sick As Shit Website TODAY!!!

BE THERE YOU BASTARDS & BITCHES!!!!!

Text 20.

Authentic Bulgarian Bahhbahchoubpa  Available TODAY!!!!

Grown EXCLUSIVELY at Von Dire Feral Farms in the Sunless Lithuanian Country Side!!

JUST A MEASLY $49.99 a Bushel!!!!! LOGON TO OUR Sinful Website for Purchasing Information TODAY!!!!!

Text 21.

Von Dire Office Yard Sale is going on this Weekend!!!!

This is YOUR rare and utterly exclusive chance as a Fucked Up Fan Club Member to PURCHASE SPECIAL MERCHANDISE ITEMS SUCH AS:

A Mason Jar of Von Dire’s Shaved Pubes, VD’s PERSONAL ANTIQUE Genital Torture Kit, VD’s diseased and stuffed Pet Electric Eel, VD’s office Urinal, The German Industrial Nipple Clamps from VD’s Outfit he wore to the Vomitous Awards in 1993, AND SOOOOO MUCH MORE!!!! LOG ON NOW LEMMINGS!!!

Text 22.

Von Dire’s Scummy Spoken Word Collection “Decade of Debauchery” consists of the 1979-1991 Spoken Word Tours of  Guam. ONLY $99.99! LOG ON AND BUY NOW and BUY A COPY FOR A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER NOW!!

Text 23.

Von Dire’s Lost Movie has just been Found!!!!

“Cockring Carnival of Karnal Cock Carnage 1888”

One of Von Dire’s 1st Films found misplaced in the Lost Soul Studios’s Film Vault!!!! ONLY $179.99!

EXTREMELY LIMITED TIME ONLY!!! This is a one time 36 Hour Special Secret Sale!!! Buy Several Copies NOW!!!

Text 24.

Von Dire POP UP RESTAURANT The VD Clinic IS HERE Tonight!!!

Just a small fee of $299.99 Per Person and $499.99 Per Plate!!!!

Dinner Includes:

Specialty Corrosive Cocktails, 17 Course Dinner (with the Main Course Being Bison imported from the Croatia), Damnable Dessert,  and Sinister Cigars served with 110 year old cognac from Turkey.

PLUS A SPECIAL SHOWING OF VD Video Productions Catalog BUT HURRY SALE ENDS IN 76 Minutes!!

Text 25.

BREAKING NEWS!!! THIS JUST IN!!!!

Von Dire Dick Pics Leaked on

HollywoodHardons.com!!!!!!

NOTE TO READER: The texts above were sent starting Monday 6:15 am and Wednesday 11:39am. That would have been the end of it, BUT on Wednesday at 2:47 pm The Absurd Assholes sent me yet ANOTHER TEXT. The text was the same deplete piece of shit cheap ass scam bullshit as the last previous 3. Thusly at 7:48 Wednesday I returned to my antagonistic ways.

Text 1.

“Throbbing Taints and the Shitty Assholes” a Film By the Legendary Deplorable Director VON DIRE is a Political Commentary Documentary on the current sate of political affairs throughout this Evil Earth. Von Dire has already announced He will be filming the sequel “TrumpFucker: A Legacy of Failure” solely focusing on Donald Trump.

ADVANCE COPIES AVAILABLE FOR 210 BITCOINS!! CHECK OUT OUR SICKLY WEBSITE!! SOONER THE BETTER, BUY NOW!!

TEXT 2.

“Crippled Faith” is a collection of Gothic Poems about Death and Desire by none other than VON DIRE’S Little Bastard Brother VAN DIRE!! The book was released by Putrid Publishing which is his Older Brother VON DIRE’s Publishing House known mostly for publishing “Necrophilia Noir” a instructional guide for beginner Necrophiliac.

AVAILABLE AT OUR WEBSITE!!!

All We Need is a photocopy of Your Personal Financial Statements such as Banking Statement, to Complete Your Purchase RIGHT FUCKING NOW BITCHES!!!

Text 3.

Von Dire’s band SlutFuck will be playing a limited number of secret acoustic Tour all during the month of March.

DON’T MISS SLUTFUCK’S “EATING THE ASS OUTTA A DEAD DINGO” TOUR

WHERE WILL THEY BE PLAYING YOU ASK???!!

Log On to Our Wretched WebSite where You and Your Friends can PURCHASE CLUES to help You to locate a Secret Show NEAR YOU!!

The Cost Per Clue is Only $29.99!!! ACT NOW, BUY NOW!!!!!!

Text 4.

Cocktails To The Tits: A Von Dire Meet & Greet scheduled before the debut of VD’s most recent Diseased Film “The Cyclops: Cycle of  Shitty Sex, Unbearable Sin, and the Abominable Aftermath”

Saturday Midnight Showing down at The Barfly Lounge!!!

Meet & Greet Passes $349.99 and Film Tickets for ADDITIONAL $74.99!!

Call The BarFly Lounge For Details RIGHT FUCKING NOW BABY!!!

Text 5.

“Zombie Hooker Handjobs” a Sick Flick by One of the most despised film makers in MOVIE HISTORY Von Dire’s Eldest Son Vin Dire!! COMING SPRING 2019!!!

Text 6.

“The Scumfuck Tradition & Legendary Luridness”

Von Dire’s FAMOUS AWARD WINNING ROCKUMENTARY chronicles Iconic Underground Hardcore Porno Punk Bands Such as the Following:

The Fuck Me Pumps, SlutFucker ( a SlutFuck Tribute Band), Slore, The Shitty Shitty Gangbangers, Agent Alien Anal X, The Prolapsed Rectums, Anti-All, Puss Buster, Rectal Invasion, Muff Diver & The Bull Dykes, Fighters and Fuckers, The Les Sober Scumbag 6, The Gash, Up To The Nuts In Guts, The Young Cocksmen, Hairy Clam and The Beavers, Death To Dipshits, Fuck Your Face, Mr. Fister, Cunt-Fart, Mangled Manginas, Vag The Impaler, Manstruation, The Salty Yogurt Slingers, Molested Melvin, The Perv’s, Rectal Leakage, The Bastards, and MANY MORE!!!!

Just Send Us the Deed to Your House as Payment!!! Purchase NOW!!!

Text 7.

Von Dire Presents “Disemboweling The Dead” a Perverse Film from Celluloid Sinn with LIMITED SHOWINGS AVAILABLE NOW STREAMING ON OUR SINFUL WEBSITE!!!! ONLY $197.60!!! ACT NOW!!!

Text 8.

The Sultan of Slaughter, The Duke of The Damned, The King of Corpses, The Barron of Blood, The Price of Perversion, The President of the Perverse, The Prime Minister of Sinister VON DIRE RETURNS AFTER 2 YEAR ABSENCE!!!!!

“Mouth Full of Maggots” is Von Dire’s Return to the Wretched Movie!!!

Already Banned in 49 States and 42 Countries World Wide!!!

Available in 90 Days for $129.99 or an Advance Copy for just $119.99!!!

Text 9.

The Von Dire Movie “Gargling With Broken Glass” is now available fully remastered in GORE VISON !! Available Now For $665.99!! Gore Vision Glasses NOT INCLUDED! Gore Vison Glasses SOLD SEPARATELY and can be PURCHASED for $349.99!!!

Text 10.

The Satanic Semen Society to induct Infamous Film Maker VON DIRE into the Sleaze Hall Of Fame on Julember 32nd!!! Watch the Induction on PPV On Demand for $49.99 or Stream it LIVE on our Sinister Website for $74.99!!!!

Text 11.

BREAKING NEWS!! YUGOSLAVIAN FILTH FILM DIRECTOR VON DIRE!!!

VON DIRE was Arrested and charged with Crimes Against the Indigenous People of PogoPogo while filming his latest movie

“The Bloody Savages of The Flesh Forrst”

Stay Up To Date on this SHOCKING News Story by Subscribing to Our NEW YOURUBE Channel for a Low Monthly Charge of $79.99!!

WTF R U WAITING 4?!!

 

That My Readers is where it has ended for now, and We will have to wait and see if this situation will continue in the near future/future.

Thanks For Reading,

Les Sober