Tag: modern tech

The Great Unplug 2019

Practically all of lost year/last year, I really contemplated completely cutting myself off from modern technology. Should i go cold turkey with everything? Should i just pick my phone, my pc, my ps4, tablet, wearables, my “crowdfunded” anal device, my tv?

I made a major compromise with myself. I’ve given up most of my basic cable package. Well not given up. I totally had my dad block half my tv channels.

Will i miss them? I can honestly say not one fucking bit. Now sure i have Netflix to fall back on so it’s not a huge sacrifice. I gotta say one thing. It is such a fucking pleasure to not have any clue of what is going on in the world.

Since I was 12 I have been entirely too aware of the world. I grew up way too fast while being too naive and I have insanely varying maturity since.

At 12 i was 40, 16 i was 8, 20 i was 30, 25 i was 50, 30 i was 16 again and now might as well be 80. Anyway the point is not hearing Donald Trump talk (or dems if ur conservative) is some of the best therapy ever. I also feel less 80 which is good but not quite teenager thankfully. Acting 16 is far more natural to me then however the fuck an adult is supposed to act.

I also have given up alcohol for the new year which led to quite the blackout and hurried 940pm liquor store run on new years eve but i digress. I think my liver is happier.

Oh and no more gaming either. Probably the hardest of all. I really thought there would be more creativity but all I’ve been given so far is how many different genres of music over how many different decades can I blast to potentially piss off my neighbors.

I have listened to 700-1000? different artists the past week. I wish i could find a way for spotify to churn them out to a simple file to post. I will never get tired of this. I could seriously spend all day listening to new music and playing model search.

More sacrifice is coming. Will I live? Die? Have a major meltdown? Have an epiphany? Signs point to yes.

Time for me to be 16 again. Framing Hanley is back together and I’m about to drown. Harder. Faster. Louder. Until it’s so loud I’m taken to the show in my dreams. Here in my head.

 By SpaceDog

Yay cinema! part uno

Every since I can remember I have always been a sucker for a great movie. I will literally drop everything when one of my favorites comes onto my television. I will do what I call the G rated Hollywood cyber stalk when I come across any new actor or actress I’ve discovered who can act and is pleasing to the eye. I will literally pan down the list of movies someone has been in and try to watch as many as possible in that one day. Clearly, this has made my amount of blog posting suspect at best or if we are being total honest non-existent.

There is no real great recollection of my first movie. When it comes to theaters, that movie was E.T.  I cried at the end though I really cannot remember. Literally the next thing I remember about movies is making characters that I thought should be in movies. Not in specific movies. In my movies.

I would see these people in my head while in somewhat of a meditative condition. They would tell me all kinds of intricate details about their lives, their dreams, hopes, desires. Of course, since I was 12 and had little knowledge of the world, these were not exactly groundbreaking. I hid them from everyone. I had suspicions that my parents were reading any little thing I ever wrote and I really did not want them seeing.

So all my childhood characters and playmates ran away. In the beginning they simply made their way to the trash can. Later in my teenage years, the pyromania took full effect and they were always burned. Sometimes by a chant, sometimes by the dead silence of the night, it was a way to let them go again. I didn’t need them taking space in my head just in case they were some kind of malevolent spirit.

For a very long time all of these people, characters, and even a few animals went away. Perhaps it was my dabbles in drugs (or lack thereof as I had rampant visions during my teenage nuclear winter years), my self-deprecation gone awry, or modern technology sucking the life out of me. Most likely it was just everything pilling up into some great big shitstorm all at once.

Then something started to change in the past week. It all started with a seizure. I always portend seizures as a sign of change or trouble and I was not sure exactly what this one would bring. The majority occur when I am passed out or crunk as fuck so it honestly was quite the surprise. Luckily I was seated and it was relatively mild, no loss of consciousness, no loss of surroundings.

Afterwards things began to take remarkable change in my life. I noticed myself laughing again and honesty could not remember the last time I seriously laughed at the complete mundaneness of the world.

Something opened up inside of me. It was almost sexual in nature but without any arousal. It felt like being proud of having snagged someone for the night who is out of your league. It felt like passionately kissing a former lover at the train station never to see them again. Waving goodbye at them with the passion of 19th century mob at a departing ship. A few fake I loves exchanged was the cherry on top of your amicably departing orgasms.

Yet this wasn’t sexual. This was more. This was everything. Yeah sure the internal sadness is still here but it’s kind of like this eternally pestering buzzing noise in my apartment. It can always be drowned out. I was doing a decent job swimming until last night.

That is when it all changed yet again.

To be continued…..

By SpaceDog