REAL DEMONS CAUGHT ON TAPE

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring REAL DEMONS CAUGHT ON TAPE. A Clip from this Video (The Arms coming Down from the Ceiling) has been Used in an Extensive Amount of The Unexplained/Mystery Videos and Random Weird Shit Fringe Videos Genres. Here is the Original Video in its Entirety which Includes The “Minion” Hands Under the Door, Arms Protruding from the Ceiling , the Arms coming out of the Wall, and Some fucking Sort of Demon Creature Sue-do Jump Scare. I would like to State for the fucking Record that Jump Scares are a Cheap fucking Gimmick, and that’s been Over Used to the Point of fucking Extreme Overkill.

Now First Things First and I think it’s fucking Safe to Say that this Video is Obviously Fake as fuck which in Reality isn’t a fucking Deal Breaker. While the Video is a Work of Absolute Fiction the Special Effects in it are Cool as Shit and Rather Impressive considering the Video came out Circa 2009. Seriously REAL DEMONS CAUGHT ON TAPE is around just a mere Minute and Thirty-nine Seconds, AND it’s Still Better then the Entire fucking Paranormal Activity Franchise Hands fucking Down. And if I’m doing Comparisons it Personally Reminds Me of the George A. Romero’s Zombie Movie Classic DAY OF THE DEAD. DAY OF THE DEAD contains a Scene where Zombie Arms come through a Hallway’s Walls to Attack One of the Main Characters.

BOTTOM LINE: All in All REAL DEMONS CAUGHT ON TAPE is Creative, Imaginative, Well Done, and Entertaining as fuck and I think that about some it the fuck Up.

It is What it is,

Presented By Les Sober

Behind Dreams Mask

Welcome to Todays FYB Post Featuring BEHIND DREAMS MASK by the One and Only MeatCanyon.  MeatCanyon who’s Real Name is Hunter August Hancock better know by His online user name MeatCanyon. Hancock is an American Youtuber, Animator, Voice Actor, Comedian, Writer, and Director who makes Parody Animations of Popular Characters (say Sponge Bob for instance). Some viewers of MeatCanyon’s Animations  have been Described them in just One Single Word “Horrifying”. A common on going gag in Hancock’s video’s is that Something Normal or Mundane gets You Killed or Possible Worse.

Synopsis: Raise ing a Teenager can be a Living fucking Hell with the Raging Hormones, Shitty Attitude, and Every Other Unpleasant Attribute Known to Man. But for a Single Father His Teenage Son’s Transformation from a Child to an Adult turns into a Horrific Nightmare.

It is What it is,

  Presented By Les Sober

Adult Babies Movie: The Stop Motion Animation Scene

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring  ADULT BABIES MOVIE: Stop Motion Animation Scene by Lee Hardcastle (From the Adult Babies Movie  Directed by Dominic Brunt). If You Don’t Know Lee Hardcastle He is an Insanely fucking Prolific British Animator/Film Maker who Specializes in All Types of Stop-Motion Techniques, and has VOWED NEVER TO INSULT HIS AUDIENCE with Shitty Film Making!

Lee Hardcastle in His Own Words:

“My name’s Lee Hardcastle, a claymation degenerate from the UK who started a YouTube channel after graduating Film School. I make claymations that are not for children’s eyes, I specialize in claymation for mature audiences. If you’re under 18, you should leave.”  -Lee Hardcastle-

Synopsis:  Lee Hardcastle as Himself  Uses all His strength to Trick a Monster into Consuming Laxatives, BUT an Adult Baby makes things difficult when He Attempts to Stop Lee and His Female Friend with a Chainsaw (and the Bloody Gore Begins).

It is What it is,

  Presented By Les Sober

MeatCanyon’s Nightmare Compilation 2021

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post Featuring NIGHTMARE COMPILATION 2021 by One of Our Favorite Content Creators MeatCanyon. We were Dementedly Delighted to See MeatCanyon had put together a Compilation of His Favorite Animations He did in 2021. And MeatCanyon once again did Not Disappoint His Selections are Dead On.

MeatCanyon’s real name is Hunter August Hancock better know by His online user name MeatCanyon. Hancock is an American Youtuber, Animator, Voice Actor, Comedian, Writer, and Director who makes Parody Animations of Popular Characters (say Sponge Bob for instance). Some viewers of MeatCanyon’s Animations  have been Described them in just One Single Word “Horrifying”. A common on going gag in Hancock’s video’s is that Something Normal or Mundane gets You Killed or Possible Worse.

The MeatCanyon in His Own Words: 

“Thank you all for another amazing year! heres to another! This is a compilation of some of my favorite toons from last year! hope you enjoy!

Nightmare Compilation Playlist:

00:00 – Let’s go Dababy
01:47 – The passion of the craft
04:28 – The last pringle
07:35 – Gumballs in the park
10:54 – I can count to three
13:20 – Yokai Bob the Builder
17:40 – Meaty talk

Thanks For Watching,

Presented By Les Sober

Saturday Short Horror Cinema: SELF ASSEMBLY

Welcome to Saturday Short Horror Cinema featuring SELF ASSEMBLY  Written By Garret Shanley, and  Directed by Ray Sullivan. This Little Slice of Surreal Insanity reminds Me of  the David Lynch movie 1997 Cult Classic Eraserhead in Several Ways. Most Notably are the Fact that its Shot in Black and White giving the Film a Cold Stark Feel, and the Fact it Doesn’t need a Word of Dialog to be Creepy as Fuck.

Noteworthy Mention: The car that killed the son in the beginning is the same car that comes to retrieve the monster from the parents house.

Plot: In a Self-Assembly cabinet They Ordered Online Grieving Parents find a Truly Monstrous Substitute for their Deceased Son.

                   

Self Assembly  Credits:

  • Produced & Directed by Ray Sullivan
  • Written by Garret Shanley
  • Based on the comic story by Garret Shanley & Cathal Duggan
  • A Monolith Pictures [IE] Production
  • Cast – Darryl Kinsella, Amy Kirwan and Ruben Kenny
  • Cinematography & Score – Terry Warren
  • Editing & VFX – Ray Sullivan
  • Special Creature Effects – Bobby McGlynn
  • Makeup by – Deirdre Fitzgerald

Thanks For Watching,

   Presented By Les Sober  

Creepy Shit From The Dark Web: MOM.avi

This Little Bit of Creepy Footage was Allegedly Found Lurking Somewhere on The Dark Web.

The Video Starts with Someone Switching Off a Light Switch, and then the Viewer Can See a Humanoid Creature Barely Visible sitting in Almost Pitch Blackness. There is Absolutely No fucking Context Here so What is Going On and What it May Be are Limited Only by Your Own Imagination. Was The Creature a Ghoul, Ghost, Mutant, Monster, Alien, Devil, Demon, Inter Dimensional Being,  or a Person  Person Who the Hell Knows.

Enjoy.

Thanks For Watching,

Presented By Les Sober   

FYB’s Friday Midnight Movie By Troma Entertainment : The Toxic Avenger!

FYB could be any More Thrilled than We are to Present Troma Entertainment’s Cult Classic Superhero Black Comedy Splatter Horror Film THE TOXIC AVENGER!!!

The Toxic Avenger was Directed by Troma Founders Micheal Herz and Lloyd Kaufman and Released by Troma Entertainment in 1984. Troma has since  Built it’s Legendary Reputation as The Kings of Independent Cinema, and Cult Following of Fans Producing LOW BUDGET B-MOVIES with CAMPY CONCEPTS, JUVENILE HUMOR, and OUTRAGEOUSLY GRUESOME VIOLENCE!

               

Plot Summery:

Melvin Ferd is a Stereotypical 98 pound Nerd weakling who works as a Janitor at a Local Gym in the Fictional Town of Tromaville, New Jersey, where the Gym Rat Jocks-particular Bozo, Slug, Wanda, and Julie- Harass Him Relentlessly.  Melvin’s Tormentors get increasingly More and More Violent, even DELIBERATELY KILLING a YOUNG BOY on a Bike as Part of a Game while Driving around Town Getting Wasted. After The Gang hits the Young Boy They Stop to take Pictures of The CARNAGE as They Laugh at The DEAD BOY’S MANGLED AND LIFELESS CORPSE!

One Day Melvin is tricked during a Prank into wearing a Pink Tutu and Kissing a Sheep before being chased around by a Crowd of Laughing Gym Goers. Melvin Ends up Jumping through a Second Story Window and Landing Head First into a Drum of TOXIC WASTE! Melvin covered in Toxic Waste Residue BURSTS INTO FLAMES sending Him Screaming Down the Street IN HORROR. Melvin runs Home and seeks Refuge and Relief in His Bathtub, BUT the Toxic Chemicals TRANSFORM Melvin into s HIDEOUSLY DEFORMED MONSTER OF HUMAN SIZE AND STRENGTH!

            

A Gang of Drug Dealers, led by the Criminal Cigar Face, are harassing a Police Officer by the Name of O’Clancy, Trying to Buy Him Off, But O’Clancy Refuses Their Bride. Suddenly The Toxic Avenger appears Out of Nowhere and VIOLENTLY KILLS THE CRIMINALS! Only Cigar Face manages to Escape with His Life and Swears Revenge on The Toxic Avenger No Matter What.

Melvin returns Home, but His Mother is Terrified by His Appearance, and Refuses to let Melvin in the House. So Melvin- Publicly Dubbed “THE MONSTER HERO”(also know as Toxic Avenger or Toxie for Short.) and is Hailed as a Hero. Toxie retreats to the Tromaville Junkyard and Builds a Makeshift Home to Live In.

Elsewhere in Tromaville, a Street Gang are Holding Up a Mexican Restaurant and ATTACK a Blind Woman Named Sarah. They Gang KILLS SARAH’S GUIDE DOG, But Before Things get Worse for Sarah The Toxic Avenger Arrives. The Toxic Avenger precedes to WREAK BLOODY VENGEANCE on the Gang of Street Thugs. The Toxic Avenger continues to Fight Crime, including DRUG DEALERS, PEDOPHILE PIMPS, and He Also Takes His REVENGE on the Four Tormentors who caused His Transformation.

           

As The Toxic Avenger Gives Aid Helping the People of Tromaville, Mayor Belgoody, the Leader of Tromaville’s Extensive Crime Ring, Fearing being Caught Belgoody sends a Goon Squad lead by Cigar Face to Kill Toxie, But They Fail Miserably, and End Up Accidentally Killing Each other.

When The Toxic Avenger is Accused of MURDERING a Seemingly Innocent Old Lady in a Dry Cleaning Store (Who just so happens to be the Leader of an UNDERGROUND HUMAN TRAFFICKING RING), Belgoody uses the Opportunity to Call in The National Guard. The Toxic Avenger goes into Hiding afraid of what He has Become that is Until The Mayor and National Guard Hunt Toxie Down Trapping Him. As The National Guard prepares to Open Fire On Toxie the Citizens of Tromaville unite to Defend Their Beloved Monster. The MAyor’s Evil ways are Revealed, and The Toxic Avenger RIPS OUT BELGOODY’S ORGANS to see if He has “Any Guts”. The Toxic Avenger Then reassures the Citizens that He will Continue to Fight Crime, and Protect Tromaville from Evil.

Hope You Enjoyed Troma’s Toxic Tale of Terror as  Much as We Did/Do.

Thanks for Watching,

  Presented by Les Sober

The Backyard Beasts Big Break

It was just one of those mundane and utterly uneventful night a few days back that was until 4:07am. And then all fucking Hell broke loose. My Wife had passed out in her favorite Lazy Boy Recliner around midnight or so, and I dozed off around a little before 3 am.

The Backyard Beasts had been more vocal than usual that evening which now that I think about it was some serious foreshadowing. It was the wailing, Whining, loud, and virtual nonstop barking of the Backyard Beasts that woke my very unamused Wife who then yelled about being woke up due to the son of a bitch beasts. This in turn immediately woke me up and I glanced at the clock which read 4:07 am.

My Wife was shuffling like mad around looking for a flashlight and her shoes. My shoes where near by under the coffee table so I snatched them up, put them on, turned off the alarm system, found my keys, unlocked the door, and bounded out to the front porch.

I start scanning the yard squinting like a motherfucker because we don’t have street lights being so far out in the woods. I cursed out loud for not getting a hold of a flashlight myself as I stared into the night. The I saw it. It was big solid black silhouette standing at the edge of the yard between two trees. The only reason I could see that much was thank to the aid of our neighbors rather promenade out door lights. Their lights backlit the street just enough to see the contrast between the black of night and the black of the beasts.

I yelled to my Wife that there was another Beast out here and that was exciting ours evidently though I was completely wrong. This is not uncommon here in the Woods where people let there dogs roam like free range chickens out and about at all hours doing whatever they please.

I then had a odd feeling and then it clicked. This wasn’t a neighbor’s Beast, it was one of ours, the Brother Beast. I ran down into the yard words the Beast shouting his name, and He came right over. I took hold of his collar with an steely grip of a fucking Bear trap.

My Wife had ran directly to the back gate (instead of entering from the house where the Beasts are forbidden to go) and opened it to go see what she could find the fuck out. In opening the back gate she inadvertently let out the 2nd of our pair of Beasts (their a Brother-Sister Team who are the absolutely inseparable. The Girl won’t follow her Brother so she stayed put in the yard and lamented loudly pleading with her Brother to come the fuck back already.)  The Girl then decided to go rejoin her Brother and tore off like a fucking rocket into the dead of night.

My Wife ran passed me to corral the Sister Beast as I passed her with the Brother Beast in tow. I put the Boy Beast back into the confines of the backyard, and went to help my Wife. All of a sudden I hear her proclaim allowed that she has BOTH Beasts now. I holler back that I’m going to get some leashes to tie up the Beasts while I go inspect the backyard to see where the Beast escaped from.

I searched relentlessly checking the fence, the yard, and looked for any clues such as did he go under or over the Fence? Was the back gate to the yard eft unlocked? That kind of shit. Well after inspecting the backyard I was stumped. So I did the only thing I could and that was to take the gamble. The gamble being that if I had my Wife return the Beasts to the backyard that instead of waiting for me to leave and then escaping again, but rather the Boy would be stupid enough to just go for it right in front of me. Luckily it was the latter.

The dumb bastard trotted around to the opposing side of the house, walked over to the far side of the Air Conditioner, crouched down to the ground by the section of the fence that meets the Home Office, and started to crawl under it like some solider at boot camp running a obstacle course. I hurried over, bent down, and grabbed the Beast at the base of his large tail. As I retrieved the Boy Beast from out under the fence I informed my Wife I found his way out.

I then set to work fixing the issue the best I could with what I had available at 4 fucking AM. First I used some small fence stakes to secure the bottom of the fence like doctor Frankenstein stitching up his Monster. I the placed to long and rather weighty spare wooden beams at the base to help block the dig site/zone. My Wife and I went inside to catch our breath. Then the Mournful Howling started up again. I ran out front and again spotted our Boy bouncing around gleefully in the front yard without a care in the world. I managed once again to catch hold of his collar and wrangled him back into the backyard.

I immediately went to inspect the escape site and saw he had maneuvered the beams out of the way and tore up/out damn near every fence stake. So this time we decided it be best to just section off that small 5 foot long and 3 foot wide area until morning (when I could go to Home Depot and load up on cinder blocks to line the bottom of the fence with. Dig under that you big bitch is the motto) We had a massive and heavy piece of Ply Wood left over from the construction of my Art Studio I had held onto. This was perfect for the job of blockade. It was Long enough to block the space,  tall enough neither Beast could jump or climb over or under it, and it was pretty damn heavy.

My Wife and I were on the porch winding down off our adrenaline fueled frustration when we heard deliberate scratching of claws against wood. We both ran out back again and saw that the leaning Ply Wood wasn’t going to cut it by itself as the Boy Beast was creeping through the space behind it. I went and got the previously used beams and wedged them up against the Ply Wood, but we still need more. I found some old, solid wood barn type doors left over from the previous owner and I knew they had some serious weight to them so I leaned both of them up against the ply Wood, andante again my Wife and I retired to the House.

Yet again We heard the Boy Beast testing the viability of the Ply Wood wall and for what seemed like the 5,000th time went to go evaluate the escape situation. We came to the conclusion the Ply Wood needed yet MORE securing so I went and fetched some of the mock rout iron gates that came in sections down at the Home Depot’s gardening center. I used the pieces of gate the pin the Ply Wood to the Air Conditioner, and it held fast.

Finally my Wife and I got a few more hours of sleep before waking for work. My Wife went off to work as per usual, and I fired up my Lap Top. Then after about an hour or two I heard the Girl Beast’s cry of desperation. I ran to a back window and peered out only to see that fucking son of a bitch Boy Beast standing on the dirt road behind our home office happier than a Prize Pig in shit. I went out and pretended I was giving his Sister a treat (I always give the Beasts a treat before heading out anywhere.), and just like a sucker at a used car dealer he bought it.

I then called my Wife in a foul fit of anger (and exasperation) and told her what happened, and that outside of killing them or myself had come to the end of my rope. She instructed me to house the Beasts on the front porch until she got off work. She said right after she got off she’d head over to Home Depot and pick up the cinderblocks.

I followed her lead and stashed the Beasts on the front porch for the day. I couldn’t help it though I had to see how the hell the Boy had pulled off yet another escape. I was truly surprised at what I found. The Ply Wall was perfectly still intact. After further inspection I realized the Boy Beast I climbed up and over the Air Conditioner Unit to circumvent the Ply Wood, and then simple jumped down the other side into the separated section to dig under the fence.

That evening my Wife returned home with the cinderblocks, and I went about building a Fence Bottom Cinderblock Barrier. Before I laid the cinder blocks down I used a couple sections of the mock fence as anchors. I simply slid the legs of the section of mock fence between sections of the chain link thus pinning it to the ground. The Boy Beast did try and escape again to no vail, but not due to a lack of trying. All I had to due to secure that bottom section of the fence was to tweak the cinderblock’s formation. And all is quite on the Western Front as some would be apt to say.

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober  

The Insanity in Editing Revision #3

 Revision #3 for The Butchers of Backwater

The Butchers of Backwater:
“The Thrill to Kill to Spill Blood so Fresh, The Toll Your Soul shall PAY IN FLESH.” – Asher Leviticus 1803

The pungent odor of the smelling salts filled Joel’s nostrils as he snapped awake like he was hit by a lighting bolt. His vision was blurred and he strained his eyes to the point of pain, squinting to make out where he was. Joel’s head was pounding like there was a giant metronome banging away in his head. His eyes adjusted to the dim candle light of the chandelier and various candelabra’s which sent shadows dancing on the walls with wild abandon. The wall paper was so old it had become yellowed and as brittle as parchment. Large pictures of grim stoic figures which Joel assumed where family ancestors in dingy gaudy gold frames lined all four walls of the dinning room. Some of the people in the paintings looked somewhat deformed but Joel dismissed this as a characteristic of the stone faced portraits of the past where no one dared smile. The black and white old photographs had faded in various degrees from whitened smudged edges to almost fully faded and black in appearance. The subjects of photos as well as

the paintings wore emotionless poker faces.There were two medieval looking candelabras on the table placed at each end these in combination with the chandelier did little to combat the darkness which encapsulated the room.

Joel’s eyes came slowly into focus he could see he was in a rather large dinning room that was reminiscent of the kind one might find in an Old Southern farmhouse. Joel was restrained with thick chains that bound his feet together, and secured his arms to the arms to that of an old oak chair. The chains were coiled around Joel’s torso like a metallic python as well. Joel was positioned at one end of the table opposite the designated head. He strained against the chains to no avail as it became a reality that he wasn’t going anywhere, and was being held as some sort of hostage. There was a full place setting in front of Joel consisting of a antique china plate that was chipped around its perimeter. There were three forks, two spoons and a knife laid out as well that were very old and genuine silver. The cutlery showed it age. Oxidation over years had left its trade mark patina giving the utensils a tarnished appearance. Joel became a deep commanding voice with a distinct drawl coming from behind him.

“Ah, I see our company has risen from his prolonged slumber. I was beginning to fear that you might never be returning to this world of the living, but look at you now. A true testament to a man’s will and his perseverance over that which is problematic.”

Joel was still struggling with all his might to come fully back to his senses. Questions swarmed Joel’s battered brain like enraged Hornets adding to his continued confusion. Where the hell am I? Who’s house is this?” “How’d I even get here”,but most of all at this particular

moment the primary question was “Who is this man and why did he restrain me with an excessive amount of chains?”

“Mr. Joel Fletcher you have a definite look of confusion as to where you are and to that which is going on.”said the voice with a slight tone of mockery.

Joel then heard the distinct sound of a centuries old wooden floor sighing with long groans. The foot steps were coming closer and closer from behind Joel. Joel tried to hide his increasing anxiety and fought to keep his voice from wavering.

“Who are you? What in the name of christ is going on here? What do you want?” Joel said as his speech increased its rate of speed. Damn it Joel thought to himself I can’t show weakness, I must remain calm and as focused as possible considering the current circumstances.

“Questions abound don’t they Mr. Fletcher? You shall have all the answers you desire shortly I assure you.” The voice said from directly behind Joel so close that Joel could smell the stink of cigarette smoke.

Suddenly a very tall and lean elderly man strode out from behind Joel’s seat and quickly crossed the vast dining room in only a couple of strides stopping at the head of the table. The old man was dressed in a crisp brilliantly white suit complete with a bolo tie. For a split second Joel wondered if he had fallen victim to the demented relatives of Colonel Sanders from the KFC advertisements of his youth. The old man had a full beard that was as white as his suit and long shoulder length hair that for some reason was as black as the bottom of an abyss. The old man pulled his chair out and took a seat. He slowly lowered his long and thin body into a chair.

The old man crossed his legs and rested his arms on the table at either side of a second place setting. The old man reached into his suit jacket and removed a cigarette case. He opened the case, removed a cigarette and tapped it lightly and deliberately on the exterior of the case. The old man took a few minutes, which seemed like an eternity to Joel, to locate his Zippo lighter which had the Leviticus family crest on it . The old man lit his cigarette taking in the first couple of drags with gusto before exhaling. A cloud of lingering smoke hovered around his head like a demonic mist.

Once Joel’s eyes met the gentlemen stranger the man began speaking. “You must pardon our lack of light for dining. You see with my condition, I’m an albino you see, I’m afraid my disadvantaged eyes are rather sensitive to light, thusly we forgo the harsh light of electricity in favor of the softer less offensive light of candles.”said the Gentlemen as he puffed away on his cigarette like it was going out of style.

“We? We who? I only see you and me sitting here.” Joel asked nervously, his voice now quivering uncontrollably.

“Well then, as you are my honored guest allow me to explain. My family name is Leviticus and we have kept our bloodline pure for centuries even before my family made their way to America. My family was of great wealth and status until the civil war tore us asunder. War is hell Mr. Joel. War is hell indeed.” said Mr. Leviticus in a slow and steady tone before a brief pause. “After the war my family was banished into the backwaters of the Mississippi were they eked out a meager living hunting Alligators and selling their skins. Then came the unfortunate great depression and the rural people of this land left this place to find greener pastures in bigger towns and even the cities. My family being tougher than the gator skins they sold decided to stay put for we would not lose the rest of our family to the industrial world beyond the boarders of the bayou.” Mr. Leviticus said with pride as he stared off into oblivion.

“Now alas, my brother and I are all that remains of the once great Leviticus Family lineage.” continued Mr. Leviticus who at this point seemed to be talking to himself as he didn’t acknowledge Joel’s presence as he spoke.

“Due to the family tradition of keeping the family bloodline clean and pure, there have been some issues of health with the later generations such as the deformity of both body and mind. My brother being the last offspring born into this family suffers egregiously from these afflictions you see Mr. Fletcher.”

Just then the massive silhouette of a man filled the immense doorway behind the seated Mr. Leviticus.

“Ah Yes dinner is served I do hope you enjoy pork Mr. Fletcher” declared Mr. Leviticus with great pleasure.

“Where is my brother?” Joel asked anxiously as he suddenly remembered they had been traveling together. They were documenting the impact the oil spill had wreaked upon the Gulf of Mexico and those whose livelihood as fishermen had been destroyed.

“You see Mr. Joel when my brother and I happened upon you as well as your aforementioned brother. You were both being beaten mercilessly by a group of roving bikers outside a rather unattractive bar in Bella, the text town over from ours. I phoned the police at

which point the bikers fled. My brother and I collected y’all, brought you to our family home, mended your wounds and have been caring for y’all ever since.” answered Mr. Leviticus promptly.

Before Joel could get the next question out of his mouth the monstrous silhouette standing in the doorway made its way into the room carrying two dinner plates, one in each hand. The mountain of a man was covered in a thick layer of sweat and he had gnarled twisted up limbs like that of an ancient live oak. He stooped and placed a plate in front of Mr. Leviticus delicately. The grotesque giant was wearing grimy dirt encrusted over alls without a shirt. As Mr. Leviticus’s younger brother made his way over to Joel was the floor boards strained to support the weight of his extremely large frame. Long greasy unkept hair obscured the titan’s face. This was accentuated by the fact that Mr. Leviticus’s brother tended to walk with his head lowered as if in mourning. The large man made his way over to Joel where he unceremoniously dropped a plate on the table. The plate crashed down upon the table with a loud clatter which caused some of the meat juice to splatter.

“Eli!” yelled Mr. Leviticus outraged, “You know quite well this table is a family heirloom and must be treated with the respect it deserves. Must you be such an uncouth savage brother? Your just lucky that what you lack in mind you make up for in body. Now leave us and don’t let playing with your food to even enter your minuscule mind.”

Eli who had frozen into a statue at the mention of his name cocked his head sideways with his back to his brother, Mr. Leviticus, as if he was struggling to control his own outrage. His gargantuan muscles tightening at every word that came out of his irritated brother’s mouth. It seemed that Mr. Leviticus’s brother was physically affected by his the harsh reprimanding. When Mr. Leviticus was done chastising his younger brother Eli promptly bent down and wiped the meat juice off the table with one of his hotdog sized fingers. He then hastily exited the dining room utilizing the door behind Joel. Joel’s nostrils were overcome by the smell of rotting flesh that wafted off Eli as he lumbered past on his way out of the room.

“Please excuse my brother’s lack of manners. He is not as civilized as your aforementioned brother. His appearance is quite off-putting especially upon the in initial meeting.” said Mr. Leviticus apologetically before continuing “Dig in Mr. Fletcher you need to regain your strength.”

Joel was starving. He tore in to his meal. His body craved the sustenance. He and Mr. Leviticus ate in silence. Joel couldn’t help but notice the pork chops were fresh and succulent unlike any he had eaten before. The meat was so tender it melted in Joel’s mouth coating his tongue with the fantastic taste of the meat. The smell of the meat was intoxicating just on its own.

“Pardon me Mr. Leviticus but this pork is delicious. I hope you have treated my brother, Zander, as kindly and also treated him to a wonderful meal like this.” Joel said honestly.

“Don’t worry Mr. Fletcher Zander is here in spirit and on the plate I assure you.” Mr. Leviticus said matter of factly with a slight sneer.

“What the hell are you talking about? What are you saying?” Joel asked in full blown panic his heart pounding as if it was attempting hammer its way through Joel’s ribcage.

“You see Mr. Fletcher when times are tough and food is scarce my family’s motto is “If there is no meat there is always man” and this motto has gotten us through many a lean time in our history. We are you see cannibals of conviction and convenance . My family acquired this trait after my ancestor Barnabas Leviticus spent some time in the Fiji Islands back in 1839.”announced Mr. Leviticus as he leisurely chewed his meal with an air of great satisfaction.

“You have to understand that a key piece of Fijian history revolves around cannibalism as my illustrious great granddaddy four times over found out first hand himself.” Continued Mr. Leviticus with admiration. “The indigenous tribes that inhabited the Fiji Islands back then had adopted cannibalism from their long voyage at sea with the lack of adequate nutritious food. This forced the sailors to consume the flesh of the dead for survivals sake. After the land the indigenous tribes cannibalism became a normal part of their diet as more people arrived the competition for natural resources, property and most of all women. Also warring tribes devoured their slain enemies not just for food, but in celebration of their mighty victory.” Mr. Leviticus took a long sip from his mason jar that most likely contained Moonshine.

A growing grin of sadistic delight let Joel know that Mr. Leviticus was enjoying the torment which he was subjecting Joel to. Joel tried with all his might to process the horror of what he had just been told.

“Barnabas was the great explorer of our family. In the Fiji islands he met and befriended Udre. Udre was the chief of one of the more predominate tribes. Barnabas and Udre spent many years together and their bond only strengthened over time as the two became like brothers more than friends.” said Mr. Leviticus triumphantly again taking a long sip from his mason jar of Moonshine before continuing his terrible tale.

“Now the most prevalent part of this story is chief Udre udre, according to the 2003 Guiness World Record, held the title of “most prolific cannibal” having eaten between 872 to 900 people. So as you may of surmised Barnabas learned an extensive about of knowledge on the subject and culture of cannibalism before returning home many year later.”

“Thats fucking insane, your insane!” screamed Joel at the top of his lungs, “This is bullshit!! Your a liar! Your fucking lying you sick son of a bitch!” Joel struggled relentlessly with the chains that confined him to the chair trying desperately to free himself.

“Do not act so surprised Mr. Fletcher as this is not the first time you have heard of cannibalism I’m certain of that,” said Mr. Leviticus in a mocking tone. “Eli can you summon Mr. Zander to the table please I would appreciate it so.” Mr. Leviticus said in a booming voice that dominated the room.

Joel was terrified, completely confused and disoriented. His pulse was racing like that of a jack rabbit on meth. Sweat was rolling down his face like a midsummer rain shower. His eyes frantically searched the room finding nothing to hope for. Joel was trapped alone with two cannibal brothers one of which claimed they killed and cooked his broth er. There was also the mentally crippling thought that he may have indeed dined upon his brothers flesh. This drove Joel to the point of lunacy.

The slow solid steps echoed down the hallway as Eli returned to the dinning room. Joel’s racing mind was flooding his head with horrible scenarios of torture and death. Joel was so wrought with panic it seemed that he could actually feel his hair growing. Finally Eli’s imposing body once again filled the doorway behind Joel his shadow loomed over Joel like a storm cloud waiting out the calm. Eli crept up behind Joel stopping directly behind him. As Eli lurked behind him Joel could hear his labored breath. It sounded steady and deep and ended more or less in an exacerbated sigh coming from directly above his head, but Joel was too terrified to even entertain the idea of looking up into the face of the monstrosity standing over him. Joel felt Eli’s rancid breathe ruffling the hair on the top of his head each time Eli exhaled.

“Where is my brother you demented, backwoods, inbred, hillbilly, son of a bitch? Where is ZANDER?” demanded Joel in frustrated anger struggling so hard that the chains with which he was bound rattled like wind chimes in a hurricane.

“Eli if you’d be so kind” said Mr. Leviticus in a monotone voice indicating his boredom with the matter.

Without warning the immense arm swung around in front of Joel and slammed something on the table before drawing itself back to its owner standing behind him. It happened so fast that Joel was initially too startled to comprehend what was happening. He sat transfixed by fear like a deer in the headlights of an eighteen wheeler barreling down upon it. Then Joel saw what Eli had deposited upon the table in front of him, his brothers Zander’s bloody severed head. Zander’s eyes were fully open, and his face was twisted in sheer agony as if he had seen the angel of death himself before dying.

“JESUS CHRIST! ZANDER!” exclaimed Joel in a fevered pitch as he gazed upon his brothers decapitated head. The shock paralyzed his body and mind.

“Collect yourself Mr. Fletcher your bordering on hysterical,” commanded Mr. Leviticus who was now scowling in absolute disgust and bitter distain.

“Eli, Eli come collect what remains of Mr. Fletcher’s brother and take it back to the processing building quick as can be,” said Mr. Leviticus waving his hand royally back and forth through the thick smokey air as he spoke.

“I think its imperative that you understand. The Leviticus family uses every viable part of the carcass, the last of your brother Zander’s remains will be processed into head cheese,” Mr. Leviticus said sounding more like a man rather than the monster he was.

“Don’t worry Mr. Fletcher you aren’t long for this world thus grievance over eating your brother will be short I assure you.”said Mr. Leviticus leering as he bent forward running his tongue over his yellow nicotine stained teeth.

“You see Mr. Fletcher whats on tomorrow night’s dinner menu is you, but until then would you care for some dessert? No? shame Eli makes a splendid cherries jubilee.”