Tag: movie industry

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (10/365)

“So what exactly was it about working on THE DISEMBOWELER that made it such a Unique experience?” asked Lee casually again making sure to trend lightly to avoid stepping on Shane’s toe’s as it were and Derailing the Conversation.

“In a word Excitement. Everyday of Filming the Atmosphere was Holy SHit I can’t wait to see what happens next Type Vibe, and that was all due to Lester’s exceptionally Unconventional way of making a Movie.” Shane said trailing off a bit towards the End as if He was Traveling Back in Time through His Memories. Shane paused to pay Lee before picking up where He left Off.

   

“While it the first Film I worked on I showed up on Set for the first day Filming in absolute Awe of it all. There I was a 21 year old Punk Kid who just Graduated Film School 2 months before landing the DISEMBOWELER gig. I couldn’t believe My luck this was a REAL Movie, a Feature Length, Professionally Shot Movie with a Cast and Crew You know all the shit the Tell You about when Your in Film School. And now it was materializing around Me and I could barely believe it like I said I was truly Awe Struck.” Shane said with what seemed to be growing enthusiasm,”What made it Exciting was learning Trick of the Trade You know the shit They Don’t tTeach in Film Schools. It was My very first experience with the Gorilla Style of Movie Making.

   

Lee’s curiosity was buzzing like a Industrial Bug Zapper. Lee loved hearing People’s Stories especially Life Stories as They always seemed much more interesting than anything else in Lee’s opinion. Lee dared not interrupt Shane’s flow with some useless comment like “Really” or “Wow thats Crazy” so Lee stood transfixed looking at Shane intently.

Shane placed both His hands on the glass counter top, stretched, and let out a prolonged sigh before Finishing His story. Lee was concerned for a second that Shane had grown tired of talking, and well He did need to get Back to the Set before much longer.

      

“My most vivid and favorite Memory from working on THE DISEMBOWELER was on the very last day of Shooting, and We had acquired the Permits needed to Film on the Main street of this Little Bumkin Town. Now Lester had told the Town Council that He was requesting the Permit so He could Film a Documentary on Local Artists or some bullshit like that. Well of course on the Last Day of Filming the Last science We needed to Shoot was the Legendary Rampage Scene. I’m sure a Fan like You is well aware that the Scene was where The Disembowler is running down the Street in a Homicidal Blood Fueled Psychosis. The Scene required 7 Victims to be dispatched by being Disemboweled during the Rampaging Massacre. Needless to say the Local Shop Owners took GREAT Acceptation to having a small group of Out of Town Movie Weirdo’s running amok Filming multiple Gory Blood Drenched Fake Deaths while using Actual Real Pig Intestines (as well as several Organs such a Liver and Kidneys which were purchased from Town Butcher.” said Shane before taking a moment to check His watch to see what time it was before wrapping the Story Up.

    

“So We are about half way through Filming the Scene When The PA alerts us to the sound of approaching Police Sirens. No One knew what the fuck to do other than to just say fuck it and keep Shooting no matter what. As the Cops get closer and closer the Crew started to loose Their focus being distracted by the Police Sirens, and possible repercussions for Lying to get The Permit for Filming. Lester grabs this Old Beat the hell up Bullhorn circa the 1970’s and just goes Apeshit Crazy. He starts screaming at The Camera man that He better not stop shooting before We were done filming the Scene, Hollering at the Actor’s to stay in fucking Character, and yelling at PA to get the everything ready because We’d be leaving in a hell of a hurry. We managed to finish Filming the Scene, and We all split up running every which way towards whatever Vehicle We were closest to while trying not to Drop equipment or break a fucking Ankle in the process. It was complete chaos, BUT luckily We sped back to the shitty Motel where We were all staying during the Filming, grabbed Our shit as fact as possible, and franticly got the fuck out of Dodge before The Towns Folk brought the Hammer Down.”

   

Stay Tuned Kiddies for Tomorrow’s Installment of Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (11/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

A Difference in Directors : A Quick Character Comparison

There are two sistink ways a Movie Director signs off on their various Films. The First is “A So-and-So Film” and the second being the “A Film by So-and-So” Now in reality these are just a way to Brand their product to help get the Directors name and work out into the World.

Now here is what chaps my ass when it comes to these two types of Branding. Allow me to explain.

The First identifier the “A Film by So-and-So” in my opinion is just fine and absolutely appropriate. Its a more subtly humble way of addressing how a Director takes credit for their work. Its a way to help Viewers to recognize the Director’s past/present/future Films, and know what kind of fare they will be seeing splayed across the Silver Screen. Think of it like this for example (as well as comparison purposes) if you see Stephen King’s name you know what your getting, your getting some seriously sick ,twisted,violent, scary fucking shit. If you see Tom Clancy’s name you again know what your getting which is some crazy, detailed, expert account of the American Military, Government Agencies and Politicians.

Now the Second way for a Director to help the public identify their Films is to use the tag line “A Film by So-and-So” THIS IS SO GODDAMN STUPID. This claim goes far beyond egotistical and far into megalomania. Why is this? Its because when you state “A Film by So-and-So” its as if their saying “I did this, ME and only ME”, and thats so fucking ridiculous its insulting and offensive to all the other people/professionals that worked their asses off on the Film to help complete the Director’s vision of/for their particular Film. I mean really what the fuck is the Director thinking or perhaps its the fact that their not thinking about anything (or anyone) else, but themselves and their career. Seriously what am I the viewer supposed believe that the Director was responsible for the entire production as if they acted all the parts, ran cameras and sound, found locations to shoot, did wardrobe, special effects, stunts, catering, editing, producing, writing, promoting, the soundtrack, and funded the whole fucking Film themselves which as we all know is the farthest fucking thing from the actual truth.

In Summation if your going to Direct Movies thats awesome and I wish you all the luck in Hollyweird, BUT when the Film is wrapped, all said is and done DON’T BE A SELF CENTERED PRICK. Its your Film true but my point is you sure as hell didn’t do it all by your little self now did you?!

Thanks For the Read,

Les Sober