Tag: Movies

WTF IS With Robert De Niro And Interviews?!!

It Simply doesn’t matter if You’re a Fan or Not Robert De Niro at this Point in Time De Niro is a World Wide American fucking Acting Icon. Seriously the Infamous Line “You Talking To Me?” said by De Niro in the 1976 Cult Classic Movie “Taxi Driver” has been Referenced in Both Film and Television Countlessly over the Years.De Niro got His start in Acting in the Early 1970’s and has had a Prolific Career that is still goin strong Today. De Niro is Proficient in a Range of Genres from Comedy to Action To Drama He can do Them All Masterfully. Over the Decades De Niro has racked up a Slew of Awards including 2 Oscars, and Garnered a Worldwide Acclaim from  Loyal Fans and Critics alike. De Niro is also Known for Cinematic  Collaborations with Renowned Director Martin Scorsese starting with 1973’s Film “Mean Streets”. Well Enough of this Acting crap this isn’t Intended to be a Biography of De Niro’s Acting Career. There’s already Endless Volumes of Information on De Niro as far as His Work in the World of Acting, but this Isn’t About De Niro’s Movies/Acting Career it’s about His Interviews.

         

Now a Little know Fact about De Niro outside of the Talk Show World is that He is damn near impossible to Interview. In Fact De Niro during Interviews is the Absolute Antithesis of the Saying “It’s like Pulling Teeth”. Apparently De Niro absolutely fucking HATES having to do Interviews and We do Mean HATE. Obviously De Niro Realizes that doing Interviews is a Necessary Evil when Your a Famous World Wide Acclaimed Actor. This as You may imagine is a total fucking Nightmare for the Talk Show Hosts when it came to Interviewing De Niro. On one Hand its fucking De Niro so getting the Rare Opportunity to Actually Interview someone of De Niro’s Caliber is Exciting as Hell (Not to mention a Real Career Booster). The Problem is an Interviewer’s Only Job is to get Their Guest to Open Up about Their Private Lives, Friends, Hollywood Stories/Experiences, Current Projects, Awards Etc.  which when it comes to De Niro it’s Almost Utterly Futile.

So One is left wondering exactly What the fuck is Going on and Here’s how We see it. First Off De Niro doesn’t Volunteer Jack Shit as He will Never Initiate a Conversation on His Own Volition, but that’s just the fucking Tip of the Iceberg as it were. During Interviews De Niro’s Body language often seems to be Rather Aggressive. He sits slightly Angled and Sort of Slumped down in the Seat which conveys a feeling of Disgust and Contempt for the Whole Affair. Not to Mention 90% of the Time while being Interviewed De Niro’s Face is Blank, Cold, and Emotionless (thought Once in a Blue Moon it does appear that He has a Slight Smirk). The Worst Part for the Host is De Niro answers the Simplest to the Most Profound Questions an Interviewer can think of with in One or Two Word Answers. This must fucking Terrifying for the Host Who is on Live Television with an Insanely Famous Actor that People fucking Love to Death and He Refuses to Open Up. If lets say a Host about Something that Happened on a Movie Set, and instead of Elaborating on the Subject De Niro responds with a Answer like “Yup”, “Sure”, or “That’s Right”.

         

So what the fuck is the Bottomline Here? Why is De Niro for all Intents and Purposes being such a fucking Dick over being Interview? Well We believe We have stumbled upon the Answer and the Answer is Simple as They come. You see since De Niro Hates Interviews but He Ultimately has to do Them from Time to Time SO He’s just Amusing Himself by fucking with the Host. De Niro is well aware of the Situation so Instead of Participating De Niro acts Standoffish and Stubborn. De Niro knows the Host is Freaking the fuck Out on the Inside and at Some Point more than likely Believes (Since the Interview is so Shitty) that They probably will get fucking fired. So what the fuck are We basing this Answer Upon Exactly and that’s a Great Question So We’ll tell you. We came to Our Conclusion that De Niro Amuses Himself by seriously fucking with the Host/interviewer by Observing De Niro’s Eyes.

We don’t know if it’s True that the Eyes are the Window to the Soul, But We do Know that Eyes are the fucking Narc of Human Body. If You’ve been Drinking, Getting High as a fucking Kite, or Lying Your ass off Your Eyes will Narc You out in a fucking Heartbeat. People’s Eyes also convey Their Emotions, Personality Traits, and General Health as well as Reveal a Person’s Level of Interest and Engagement. The Last thing We will say on the Topic of Biology and Eyes is that (even though We have 5 Separate Senses) We get 90% of Our information about the World Around Us Via Our Eyes. Thus De Niro’s Eyes contradict His Aggressive Body Language, Hostile Standoffishness, and Expressionless Face. During Interviews De Niro’s Eyes are the Most Active Part of His Body as  They Dart around as He Assess the Situation, and the Mental State of the Host due to Him being so fucking Uncooperative. If You watch De Niro’s Eyes during an Interview You start to Notice that He in fact Seems Delighted by the Havoc He is Creating. So win Summation De Niro hates Interviews so His Unusual Behavior is Nothing More than De Niro Entertaining Himself to get Through the Interview.

It is What it Is,

  By Les Sober

REAL DEMONS CAUGHT ON TAPE

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring REAL DEMONS CAUGHT ON TAPE. A Clip from this Video (The Arms coming Down from the Ceiling) has been Used in an Extensive Amount of The Unexplained/Mystery Videos and Random Weird Shit Fringe Videos Genres. Here is the Original Video in its Entirety which Includes The “Minion” Hands Under the Door, Arms Protruding from the Ceiling , the Arms coming out of the Wall, and Some fucking Sort of Demon Creature Sue-do Jump Scare. I would like to State for the fucking Record that Jump Scares are a Cheap fucking Gimmick, and that’s been Over Used to the Point of fucking Extreme Overkill.

Now First Things First and I think it’s fucking Safe to Say that this Video is Obviously Fake as fuck which in Reality isn’t a fucking Deal Breaker. While the Video is a Work of Absolute Fiction the Special Effects in it are Cool as Shit and Rather Impressive considering the Video came out Circa 2009. Seriously REAL DEMONS CAUGHT ON TAPE is around just a mere Minute and Thirty-nine Seconds, AND it’s Still Better then the Entire fucking Paranormal Activity Franchise Hands fucking Down. And if I’m doing Comparisons it Personally Reminds Me of the George A. Romero’s Zombie Movie Classic DAY OF THE DEAD. DAY OF THE DEAD contains a Scene where Zombie Arms come through a Hallway’s Walls to Attack One of the Main Characters.

BOTTOM LINE: All in All REAL DEMONS CAUGHT ON TAPE is Creative, Imaginative, Well Done, and Entertaining as fuck and I think that about some it the fuck Up.

It is What it is,

Presented By Les Sober

News From The FYB Front

Hello Everyone,

Justin here and as you may imagine we here at the FYB  have been hyper focused like surgical fucking laser on the current states of affaires here in America. I for one am so sick of this shit I really, really fucking am. We had to wait 4 way to long years to vote out dictator wannabe and world class dipshit dumbfuck trump (if your wondering I am not capitalizing his name as a sign of the utmost disrespect). Then we had to wait several days each seeming to last for fucking EVER to get confirmation. We stupidly thought we could take 5 and catch our collective breath, but hell fucking no dickhead donnie won’t get the fuck out of the Whitehouse like a psychotic squatter.

Then on the January 6th all hell broke loose like a record setting shitquake that would snap the Richter scale like a chickens neck and we are still  suffering the aftershocks now. We now have a virtual 5 day eternity until January 20th when We will have a chance to sort this category 5 shitnado out. For that reason  you have probably noticed posting has been erratic as fuck recently. We appreciate you hanging in there with us through these growing pains.

Anyway I didn’t want to show up to the party empty handed so here’s some info from behind the FYB curtain. As part of restructuring for here at good old FYB in 2021 Les decided to delegate some of the writing for FYB’s long neglected ongoing pieces. So here’s a list of who is doing what now.

Les will continue writing Malice: the band the almost killed us all and Another Day Down At The Cock’n Balls. Basically these are all Les’s babies so in the custody battle we let him keep two.

Otto will now be responsible for writing The Deviant Detective and The Boy and The Bridge. Heads up folks with Otto at helm of DD it is going to get dark as hell fast as fuck that’s for sure. As for BTB Otto’s insane obsession with the occult, demons, devils, supernatural, and all that crazy shit will give it a whole new perspective (I’m also convinced that Otto’s version of The Boy and The Bridge is his fucking autobiography).

As for myself I will be in charge of writing Lollypop Chainsaw and Lee Johnitis: Professional People Watcher. As for my plans for these 2 pieces is to crank up the crazy factor to fucking 5,000 and let the stories run wild. You all now have front fucking tickets front row and center at the Theater of the Absurd. You’re welcome.

We collectively will continue to work together on the so called miscellaneous shit like TV Shows, Animation, Tidbits For Shits and Giggles, Cartoons, Musical shit, and Salute To Eccentrics, Strange and Disturbing Videos, Movies, and Dark Web Videos etc. etc.

We plan on reviving Short Horror Film Friday and Saturday Slasher Cinema in the near future. We also be posting additional movies as too so there that too.

Anyways that’s all that’s worth writing about so,

See you around,

Justin Sane  

Fatalistic Friday Film Movie: ALBINO FARM

FYB is Psyched to Present the 2009 Horror Movie ALBINO FARM Written and Directed By Sean McEwen and Joe Anderson VI. Albino Farm has been Described Countless Times as “A Blend of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Hills Have Eyes.” making for an Interesting Cinematic Mix.

           

Brief Plot Summery:

Four Collage Students Investigate the Disturbing Legend of an Ozark Mountain Town with a 100 Year History of Religious Fanaticism. Nestled Deep in the Ozark exists a The Town Populated by SADISTIC, INBRED MISFITS who Prey on Unsuspecting and Wayward Travelers. For some Adventure Seekers, the Dark Stories surrounding the ALBINO FARM are Simply too Bizarre to Resist. But as a Group of Naive Students are about to Discover, some Folklore has Roots in Reality, as They Uncover Albino Farm’s Disturbing Past, while Enduring a NIGHT OF HORRORS!

           

Enjoy.

We Hope You Enjoyed this Insane Tale of Inbreeding as Much as We Did.

Thanks for Watching,

  Presented By Les Sober

Movies On My Mind: Us Is Not For Me

I think it’s Safe to Say We’ve all seen a Movie and be it Good, Bad or Indifferent We have thought to Ourselves that We if We had had the Chance We Could or Would have Done a Better Job. Regardless of the Fact I’m a Cinaphile I think We have all experienced this Phenomenon First Hand. Normally the Thoughts or Feelings One has about such a Movie no matter what they may be at the Immediately Following the Film They Simply Fade Away in No Time and Life Goes On. This is the same for Me, but with One Exception and the Exception is the Horror Movie US that was Written, Produced, and Directed by Jordan Peele.

This Movie has some how Lodged itself inside of My Skull due to the fact I have so Many fucking Issues with the Movie’s Plot/Script it’s not even fucking Funny. Its not just the Fact the Movie could have been something quite accessional if it was for all of the Problems with the Plot its also that some how in spite of all of the Issues Us was legitimately a Critical and Commercial Success above all. For the Record fuck the Critics who are all Fickle as Fuck, and Pretentious as Hell so I could give a Rat’s Ass what the So-Called Self Proclaimed Critics Think. On that Note as for Commercial Success well that one is Easy People are Sheep and Most will just Fall in Line with the Critics, and as for the Rest well there’s No Accounting for Taste as They Say.

            

The Set Up is Decent enough if Not Cliche for the Horror Genre with a Mother Adelaide who is Haunted by a Childhood Trauma when She was confronted in a Seaside Funhouse by Her Twin. Adelaide’s Family consisting of her Husband Gabe, Daughter Zora, and Son Jason)  headed out on Vacation to Their House in Santa Cruz. The Family is Upbeat upon arrival and set out Settling in for Their Family Vacation. Then Four Masked Strangers Show up Lurking int he Shadows while Standing at the end of the Drive Way. Gabe verbally confronts the Ominous Strangers who seem totally oblivious to Gabe and His Threats. The Strangers then Attack the Family and Manage to Break in and Take the Family Hostage. It is then Revealed the Masked Strangers are in fact the Family’s Evil Doppelgängers (Twins).

A Reveal this Big would Normally be saved for the End of the Movie as Apposed to the Beginning so if You’re gonna pull a Major Reveal that Soon You better damn well Believe You can Back the Rest of the Film. Unfortunately for US this couldn’t be Farther from the Case as the Movie starts to Shit the Bed right after the Doppelgänger Reveal. I have summarized  My Issues with the Movie US into a List if You Will which is as Follows.

           

  • If the Evil Doppelgängers are Supposed to be EXACTLY IDENTICAL in Every Way to Their Counterpart then why the fuck does Jason’s Doppelgänger Act like a Feral Animal scurrying around on all Fours when None of the Other Doppelgängers behave in such a Manner?!
  • Again if the Evil Doppelgängers are Truly Identical to Their Counterparts why does Jason’s Doppelgänger Pluto continue wearing a Mask once all the Other Doppelgänger Remove Theirs. The Audience finds out from Adelaide’s Doppelgänger Red that Pluto was “Born of the Fire” whatever the fuck that means and has been Horribly Disfigured by Burns.
  • Its all fine and fucking Dandy that Red is the Only Doppelgänger that is capable of Speech in Raspy Voice speaking in a Stunted Manner, BUT why the hell do all the Other Doppelgänger Grunt, Screech, Hoot, Howl, Growl, and make use of Other Guttural Sounds I mean what the fuck is the Point?! Traditionally in Horror if Your going to Kick Up The Creepy Factor You’d have the Other Doppelgängers remain Completely Silent. So it’s an Odd choice all in all.

           

  • Red tells a Tale of a Happy Girl who was Loved while Her “Shadow” remained Suffering in the Dark. Red then Explains the Doppelgängers refer to Themselves as The Tethered who Share a Soul with Their Counterparts. Then it could also be the Tethered Possibly Don’t have a Soul at All, but its Not made Abundantly Clear as to which.
  • Later towards the End of the Movie in a Secret Tunnel Red explains further that Tethered are Clones created by The Government, The Military, or Evil Corporation (Again its Not made Clear as to which it was) to Control Their Counterparts on the Surface. The Experiment Failed and the Tethered were Abandoned by Their Creators/Handlers to Fend for Themselves for Generations. The Tethered existence was Mindlessly Imitating Their Counterparts like something out of Jacob’s Ladder until Red unified Them and They Escaped to Seek Revenge. Now thats all Fine and Dandy accept WHY DIDN’T RED EXPLAIN ALL THIS IN THE BEGINNING after the Girl and Her “Shadow” Story as it would have helped the Continuity of the Film more Fluid.
  • What the Fuck are the Rabbits About?! Why the fuck Where Illegal Human Clone Creators Breeding or Housing an Army of Rabbits in Scientific Laboratory Cages/Conditions?! The Rabbits are used for some sort of Shock Tactic that Falls Far Short of its Intention.

            

  • The Fact the Tethered Look Identical to Their Counterparts and Act Independently in the Movie then Why is it Once or Twice in the Movie the Tethered would Mimic  Their Counterparts Movements precisely , but most of the time They act Totally Independent from Their Counterparts?! It’s an All or Nothing Type Situation in Either the Tethered Mimic Their Counterparts or They Don’t Scenario. Not to Mention it’s Only Pluto Jason’s Doppelgänger who Exhibits this type of Behavior while the Other Tethered Do Not.
  • The Family should have Fought and Definitively Killed Their Tethered Doppelgängers at Their House instead of Running around Aimlessly towards the Neighbor’s House. Gabe Kills His Doppelgänger Abraham while crossing a Lake or Pond in a Recreational Boat. The Kill was fucking Lame, in Fact it was so fucking Lame it took the Audience a While Before Realizing Abraham is actually Dead as opposed to Injured, Unconscious, or in some Other way Inhibited. I mean have We learned Nothing from Horror Movies? If Your fighting on the Boat and You fall off the Back You Utilize the Motor to Mangle and Mutilate the Bad Guy.
  • As Far as the Neighbors there was No Need for Them in the Film. The Family could have Killed Their Doppelgängers and Turned on Their own fucking TV they didn’t need all that Time Wasting Bullshit running to the Neighbor’s House. The Neighbors are Nothing but Excessive to the Plot. Also the Kills were LAME in the Fact this Time They are Filmed Far Back form the Actual Action.

            

  • The Final fucking Issue I have with this Talented Turd of a Movie is the Totally Botched Final Twist right before the Credits. It’s when Adelaide remembers and realizes She is Her Own Doppelgänger which seems like thats the sort of Reveal I was talking about earlier, BUT this one sounds cool  Yet it makes No fucking Sense I mean is She on a 20 year fucking Delay or something?! She can Remember every fucking disturbing Detail of that Traumatic Childhood Run in accept for the Fact She’s the Evil Twin. Thats the Evil Doppelgänger  who knowingly Switched Places with Her Counterpart?! Also if Adelaide is Her Doppelgänger then Who the Fuck is Red supposed to be a Third Clone?!

All in All Like I said it could have been a Really Good Movie if the Time had been Taken to Smooth Out all the Inconsistencies as it were, But in the End it was just a fucking Waste of Film.

Thanks for Reading,

 By Les Sober

FYB’s Friday Night Freakfest Film – The Good, The Bad, and the Subhumanoid: Class Of Nuke’Em High 3

Welcome to FYB’s Friday Night Freakfest Film Featuring Legendary Independent Film Company TROMA PICTURES with…….

THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE SUBHUMANOID: CLASS OF NUKE’EM HIGH 3!!!

           

In this Troma’s Third Installment in the Horror Comedy Classic Class of Nuke’Em High Film Series  (which was followed by  Return to Nuke’Em High Volume 1 in 2013, and Return to Return to Nuke’Em High Aka Volume 2 in 2017)

Plot Summery: Seconds after the End of Class of Nuke’Em High 2, The Giant Mutant Squirrel or Tromie is Finally Subdued, and Life in Tromaville reruns to Normal. Roger Smith who is Now the Mayor of Tromaville is Celibates the Birth of His Twin Sons Dick and Adlai. That is Until Dick is Kidnapped at the Hospital and Subsequently Raised to be Evil by The Group of Thugs that Took Him. Meanwhile Adlai is Raised by Roger to be Kind, Courteous, and Peaceful.

Flash Forwarding Several Years into the Future, when Dick and Adlai are Fully Grown Adults, Trouble Comes in the Form of The Infamous and Loathsome Dr.Slag, Ph.D Who uses Dick to Commit a Crime and Then Frame Adlai for It. Dr. Slag does so hoping to turn the Citizens of Tromaville against Adlai. If Dr. Slags Evil Plot Works, Dr. Slag will turn the Town into a TOXIC WASTELAND, and with Doom Looming over Tromaville it’s up to Adlai to Save The Day.

Hope You Enjoyed This Troma Classic as Much as We Did (and Still Do)

  Presented By Les Sober

FYB’S Friday Diner and a Movie: Double Helping of Creepy Pasta with The Russian Sleep Experiment 1 & 2

The Russian Sleep Experiment was Allegedly Uncovered by a Anonymous User who was Surfing the Deep Web which is NOT to be confused with the Dark Web mind You.

This Unknown Person supposedly Stumbled Across Historical Russian Military Documents detailing the MOST HORRIFIC EXPERIMENT CONDUCTED ON HUMAN BEINGS.

It’s a Tale of Illegal Human Experimentation that Ended in a Chaos Consisting of SELF CANNIBALISM, MUTILATION, ILLEGAL HUMAN EXPERIMENTATION, INSANITY, MURDER, AND DEATH.

       

While The Russian Sleep Experiment Tale had been around for several Years while assembling material for this Post FYB became aware that there is in fact a Russian Sleep Experiment 2.

We checked out this alleged Russian Sleep Experiment 2, and while The Original Russian Sleep Experiment in Our option is not out of the Realm of Possibility when Your talking about Cold War Russian Military and Illegal Human Experimentation. Does that mean We believe it?!

NO. It Doesn’t Seem Plausible, but Stranger Shit has Happened.

        

As for The Russian Sleep Experiment 2 We are calling 100% unequivocal BULLSHIT! Why?! Well the reason We are calling BULLSHIT is the Story Line for the Russian Sleep Experiment is a BLATANT RIP OFF of the Tod Six’s Movie Human Centipede 2.

It’s the regurgitation of Six’s Human Centipede 2 Storyline which is a simple Psycho See, Psycho Do. Thats to say it’s about a “Real Person” in the “Real World” Who is a Fan of Human Centipede: First Sequence Decides to Slide Deep into Insanity, and Recreate The Exact Experiment Depicted in the  Fictional Movie.

       

Well That’s OUR Opinion on the Subject so Sit Back, Kick Up Your Feet, Crack a Beer, Spark a Joint, Watch, Contemplate, and Decide For Yourself.

And As Always We Must Cover All Bases ………

WARNING THE FOLLOWING VIDEOS CONTAIN MATERIAL THAT SOME VIEWER MAY FIND OBJECTIONABLE OR DISTURBING.

VIEWER DIGRESSION IS STRONGLY ADVISED.

SO Without Further Ado Ladies and Gentlemen FYB Presents

The Russian Sleep Experiment followed by The Russian Sleep Experiment 2!

Brought to You By CreepsMcPasta (Find Him/Her @ Youtube.com)

Enjoy.

And Now THE RUSSIAN SLEEP EXPERIMENT 2! Enjoy.

That’s It Hope You Enjoyed and Hope it made You Think.

 Presented By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (11/365)

Shane then scrawled His signature on the Credit Card Receipt, Said thanks for the Cool Question, Turned just in time to see Glen stick His head in the Door and Peer around disapprovingly, and double timed to towards the Door.

Lee had almost all the information He wanted, but He had to try and get Shane to Answer one lats Question before departing. “Why did Lester Lie to the Town Council telling Them that You Guys were making a Low Budget Horror Movie?”

   

“I thought a smart Fan like Yourself would have already figured that out.” Shane answer honestly surprised by the Question. Shane looked down at His feet for a minute before providing Lee with His answer. “It was because if You think the fucking Shop Onner’s were fucking pissed about it Imagine if Lester HAD told them the Truth about shooting a Indie Horror Flick? They would have Denied the Permits like a motherfucker, and We still would have Filmed the Scene, but We also would have been subject to the Legal Repercussions. The way Lester did it We had the Proper Permits to Film even though Lester Lied about What kind of Movie We were making it wasn’t technically illegal. It was just a dick Move Ya know.”

With that Shane exited and started His return to Work. Lee sat for a few minutes mulling over the conversation he had just had, and found it quite satisfying. Lee spent the next few hours surfing the Internet Googling the fuck out of whatever entered His Mind at that moment.

   

Lee spent the majority of His time wandering around the Internet reading up on the History of Cannibalism in Fiji. The most interesting documentation Lee came across was the Testimonials of various Christian Missionaries who had traveled to Fiji in the Hope of Converting the Natives. Now yes some where in fact Killed and Eaten over the Year of Active Cannibalism in Fiji.

Now Life in Historical Fiji was Brutal even for Those Missionaries that were luck enough to not be Murder and subsequently Consumed by the Native Tribes of Fiji was no fucking Picnic that was for sure. The Natives had a habit of Harassing the Hell out of the Missionaries. They frequently tossed Severed Heads or Limbs or Freshly Stripped Human Bones over the Walls on the Monitories littering the lawn with Their Human Leftovers.

     

Even more Outrageous were the Written Accounts of The Missionaries about the Rival Native Tribes returning from Battle with Prisoners in tow. The Natives were exuberant not just drunk on the Victory in Battle, But that They also got to EAT THE PRISONERS.

Lee thought this was a wonderful example of Perspective. To the Outside World (for the most part there were other Countries that indulged in the Ritual of Cannibalism) Cannibalism was one of the Greatest Taboos, Yet for the Cultures that Practiced Cannibalism (or Necro Cannibalsim or the Eating of the Dead) it was Perfectly Acceptable, and really not that a big of a deal that They ate People, its just what the did. It’s what They were taught growing up. Teaching the Next Generation the Practice of Cannibalism was just like Scumbag Racist indoctrinating They’re Young with Their Hate.

   

Stay Tuned for Kids Tomorrow’s Installment of Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (12/365)

Thanks for Reading,

   By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (10/365)

“So what exactly was it about working on THE DISEMBOWELER that made it such a Unique experience?” asked Lee casually again making sure to trend lightly to avoid stepping on Shane’s toe’s as it were and Derailing the Conversation.

“In a word Excitement. Everyday of Filming the Atmosphere was Holy SHit I can’t wait to see what happens next Type Vibe, and that was all due to Lester’s exceptionally Unconventional way of making a Movie.” Shane said trailing off a bit towards the End as if He was Traveling Back in Time through His Memories. Shane paused to pay Lee before picking up where He left Off.

   

“While it the first Film I worked on I showed up on Set for the first day Filming in absolute Awe of it all. There I was a 21 year old Punk Kid who just Graduated Film School 2 months before landing the DISEMBOWELER gig. I couldn’t believe My luck this was a REAL Movie, a Feature Length, Professionally Shot Movie with a Cast and Crew You know all the shit the Tell You about when Your in Film School. And now it was materializing around Me and I could barely believe it like I said I was truly Awe Struck.” Shane said with what seemed to be growing enthusiasm,”What made it Exciting was learning Trick of the Trade You know the shit They Don’t tTeach in Film Schools. It was My very first experience with the Gorilla Style of Movie Making.

   

Lee’s curiosity was buzzing like a Industrial Bug Zapper. Lee loved hearing People’s Stories especially Life Stories as They always seemed much more interesting than anything else in Lee’s opinion. Lee dared not interrupt Shane’s flow with some useless comment like “Really” or “Wow thats Crazy” so Lee stood transfixed looking at Shane intently.

Shane placed both His hands on the glass counter top, stretched, and let out a prolonged sigh before Finishing His story. Lee was concerned for a second that Shane had grown tired of talking, and well He did need to get Back to the Set before much longer.

      

“My most vivid and favorite Memory from working on THE DISEMBOWELER was on the very last day of Shooting, and We had acquired the Permits needed to Film on the Main street of this Little Bumkin Town. Now Lester had told the Town Council that He was requesting the Permit so He could Film a Documentary on Local Artists or some bullshit like that. Well of course on the Last Day of Filming the Last science We needed to Shoot was the Legendary Rampage Scene. I’m sure a Fan like You is well aware that the Scene was where The Disembowler is running down the Street in a Homicidal Blood Fueled Psychosis. The Scene required 7 Victims to be dispatched by being Disemboweled during the Rampaging Massacre. Needless to say the Local Shop Owners took GREAT Acceptation to having a small group of Out of Town Movie Weirdo’s running amok Filming multiple Gory Blood Drenched Fake Deaths while using Actual Real Pig Intestines (as well as several Organs such a Liver and Kidneys which were purchased from Town Butcher.” said Shane before taking a moment to check His watch to see what time it was before wrapping the Story Up.

    

“So We are about half way through Filming the Scene When The PA alerts us to the sound of approaching Police Sirens. No One knew what the fuck to do other than to just say fuck it and keep Shooting no matter what. As the Cops get closer and closer the Crew started to loose Their focus being distracted by the Police Sirens, and possible repercussions for Lying to get The Permit for Filming. Lester grabs this Old Beat the hell up Bullhorn circa the 1970’s and just goes Apeshit Crazy. He starts screaming at The Camera man that He better not stop shooting before We were done filming the Scene, Hollering at the Actor’s to stay in fucking Character, and yelling at PA to get the everything ready because We’d be leaving in a hell of a hurry. We managed to finish Filming the Scene, and We all split up running every which way towards whatever Vehicle We were closest to while trying not to Drop equipment or break a fucking Ankle in the process. It was complete chaos, BUT luckily We sped back to the shitty Motel where We were all staying during the Filming, grabbed Our shit as fact as possible, and franticly got the fuck out of Dodge before The Towns Folk brought the Hammer Down.”

   

Stay Tuned Kiddies for Tomorrow’s Installment of Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (11/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (9/365)

“When it comes to Lester He was a Genius, but I think as the Years went on Movie, By Movie He just slowly slipped into Insanity.” Shane said like someone recollecting a memory that until then had been long forgotten.

“Can I ask You one Question.” Less asked Cautiously, “It’s Not the Usual Fanboy Bullshit either I mean save that crap for ComicCon right?!”

“Fine if it’s just one Question Go For It I’m not exactly in a Hurry to head back to the Set with Mr. Motherfucker out there.” Shane said with a guarded tone in His voice as Shot a Quick Glance at the Door as if He gave a shit about keeping tabs on Glen (Who had yet to return from His Self Imposed Exile to the Parking Lot.)

   

The reason Lee asked Shane a Personal Question about working with Indie Film Icon Lester Sane was He didn’t want to Waste time or an Opportunity to  Learn about Shane and Lester’s Work Relationship.

Sure Lee had countless Questions being a HUGE Lester Sane Admirer, But He was reminded of a Saying He had heard Growing Up that “A Warrior Can’t Win Every War, So He Must Choose His Battles Wisely.” Lee realized that pestering Shane about What Lester was like in Real Life would be useless. The last thing Shane wanted to talk about was His Batshit Boss.

Lee figured if He wanted to know more in-depth about Lester’s Life or Career He could look it up Online. If He bother Shane with the Typical Type of inane Questions (He got asked every time a Fan of Lester’s Fils finds out that Shane actually Worked with) Shane would become further irritated, and would simple Walk Out, and Lee would have Learned Nothing.

“Thats the kind of Question that You think would be one of the Easiest to Answer.” Shane answered in a Hazy Daydream like way,”I’ve been working for Lester since I graduated from Film School 11 years ago. I really think I was His first Employee actually.”

Lee remained silent allowing Shane the time He needed to since He was going to be gracious enough to indulge Lee in answering His Question. Hurrying Him now would only be Counter Productive since Shane’s angst was subsiding by the Minute. Shane for His part was standing in place switching His weight from foot to foot as He was thinking the Question over in His Head.

“If I had to pick one I now it sounds Cheesy, but it be THE DISEMBOWLER which was My first feature Film and Lester’s 3rd Movie that He had ever made.” Said Shane with a longing fondness of Someone reminiscing about Their Childhood growing up.

   

“Jesus You have been with Lester since basically the very fucking beginning.” Lee said with great admiration unable to restrain Himself before elaborating further,”I mean Lester’s first Film was VOMITORIUM was a Student Film which was followed by Lester’s Short Film I’LL EAT YOUR ENTRAILS so really it was both Lester’s as well as Your first actual Feature Film.”

“Whoa You are a Hardcore Fan if You know about Lester’s earlier Years before He became the Controversial Icon. Most so called Fans just know about the Newest shit of Lester’s like SKULLFUCKER or EJACULATING FECES and all that really over the top Shit.” Shane replied sounding quite sincere, “But there’s nothing like the frantic chaos of Lester’s earlier Film Projects. It was one of those things You’d have to be lucky enough to be in the Right Spot at the Right Time to receive the honor of Participating in it.”

        

Stay Tuned for Tomorrow’s Installment of Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (10/365)

Thanks for Reading,

 Les Sober