Tag: New Friends

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (33/365)

Suddenly Dizzy turned to Lee, and surprised the hell out of Him which was Rare as Lee wasn’t easily Surprised.

“You ever Notice how a lot of times Someone You know Dislikes or even Hates Some other Person until that Person Dies, and as soon as the Person is Dead They aren’t assholes anymore? It’s as if by Dying the Person in Question is immediately absolved of all Wrong Doings during Their Life, and the People who Previously Bitched, and Talked Shit about Them Now have Nothing but Respect and Reverence for the Deceased Who when Alive was the very Person They swore was the Bane of Their Existence.” said Dizzy matter of factly as He finished Beer Number 4, and Ordering Beer Number 5.

       

Dizzy waited for the Bartender to return with His Fresh Beer before inquiring “Hey You got shit to do Today or are You free to fuck around Town , and get into some type of Trouble?!”

Lee thought to Himself and realized that He didn’t have a damn thing to do so why not see where the Afternoon would take Him.

“I got some time to Hang Out’n see Whats What.” answered Lee earnestly as He shifted uneasily in His Seat. Watching People was Lee’s Forte, and Interacting with Them Tended to put Him on Edge at First due to His Serious Trust Issues.

       

“Alright Dope. I’ll call My Buddy over at the Shitty Theater and tell Him We’re leaving are Cars, and He’ll keep an Eye on Them so They don’t get Towed or Fucked With.” announced Dizzy quite Energetically before requesting to use the Bar’s Phone.

This struck Lee as very Peculiar since People Now a Days all Live in Constant Contact with the Aide of the ever Prevalent Smart Phones so using a Business’s Landline struck Lee as Note Worthy. While Lee pondered this newly discovered Oddity Dizzy was engaged in an Increasingly Loud and Aggressive Conversation with His Buddy at the Theater over the Car situation ending with Dizzy slamming down the Phone Receiver violently several times for emphasis.

“Fuck I can’t believe there are People Born who will never know the succinct Satisfaction of Hanging the fuck Up on Some Douche by Slamming Down the Phone Receiver. Anyway He said He’d watch the Cars, He was just being a real dick about it is all. He’s a Moody little Motherfucker. Goddamn Temperamental Artist Asshole.” snarled Dizzy Seething with Frustration and Simmering in Contempt.

       

“Alright,” Dizzy continued having gathered His composure from His perviously infuriating Phone call, “Do You have any Bitcoin? Unusual Question, but Ride only Takes Bitcoin that’s the only reason I’m asking.”

“No I don’t own any Crypo Currency because I really don’t see the Point. What I mean is I know what Bitcoin is right, and I know how You can buy It. Then it starts to get Shady because for one where the fuck can You spend it outside of The Dark Web? I can’t buy fucking food with it or Pay My fucking Bills with it so what the fuck is it good for exactly?! ALSO the one question NO ONE has been able to Answer is HOW THE HELL DO I CASH OUT?! Where and How can I convert My Bitcoin into Actual Physical Cash?!” responded Lee now finding Him to be the one getting all Amped.

        

TUNE IN NEXT WEEK for the Next Breath Taking Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (34/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober (Posted at 12:31am Sunday)

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (30/365)

“You see the Old Timer in the Tweet Hat with the Classic Wild West Mustache? Well He showed up first and went strait after the first Staff Member he Laid eyes on. That unfortunate Soul was the Hipster Vegan looking Guy with the fucking Clip Board.”reported the Stranger before indulging in another Long Sip of Fortified Wine.

“I’m calling that Old Dude Tweedy He reminds Me of Someone’s fucking Grandfather who also happened to an AlcoholicYou know He shows up at Family functions already half fucking lit. Then after a few additional Cocktails He’s off to the Races Ranting and Raving about anything and everything under the fucking Sun. Now You see the Two Old Biddies there flanking Tweedy? Those Two showed up 10 minutes into Tweedy’s Tirade about Crappy Customer Service, and the Death of The Service Industry as a Whole.” said The Stranger observingly as He leaned back on the Stool balancing precariously on the Verge of Falling flat on His ass.

        

“The Two Old Biddies are like Tweedy’s Calvary They just happened to be near by and decided to insert Themselves into the Scenario” continued the Stranger, ” They don’t have a point or argument of Their own like Sharks smelling Blood in the Water They heard the Chaos and Jumped on in. The Old Biddies are acting as Tweedy’s unoffical Cheer Leaders if You will back or agreeing with every word that comes out of His Mouth. I don’t think this is a money Issue I think its an Age Issue.”

“Age issue? What kind of Age issue is this then exactly I’m not sure I see what You’re saying.” Lee said with the Honesty of a Child.

      

“Yeah its an Age issue I’m telling You. Tweedy and His posse are actually Mad that They’re Old, and the World has Changed as Society Evolved. It’s gotten Overwhelming to Them at this point in Their Lives. They just want to vent Their frustration about Growing Old and to be Heard. People have a shitty habit of Generally ignoring Their Elders.” The Stranger said Sympathetically, ” Then when People do actual stop to talk to an Elder They talk to Them condescendingly like They’re a fucking 3 year Old. Its Revoltingly Disrespectful You ask me.They Show represents the Dawn of the New Day something Unknown and Scary to Them. Thus that makes the $3 a symbolic way of Reclaiming the Past Reclaiming Their Youth that They had Lost to Father Time.”

“Funny how I’ve often thought the same thing about how Our Society writes off the Elderly with total Disrespect. It’s a fucking Insult on so any Levels.” replied Lee as He found Himself feeling an acute Empathy for the Elderly all of a sudden.

       

“They Call Me Dizzy,” the Stranger said introducing Himself at last, “This Little Life Drama has about run its course, and They’re all just Jabbering away in Circles at this point. It’s a Classic fucking Stalemate so You want to get a Beer?”

Stay Tuned Kiddies for Tomorrow’s Breath Taking Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (31/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober