Tag: New Friendships

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (37/365)

“Filthy, come On Bud You’re blocking the fucking Doorway.” said Dizzy with a Hint of Frustration and Concern.

“Must have been Rotated by The Serpents in My Sleep is all.” replied the Bum in a Gravely Growl like Bear Yawning after Rising from Hibernation.

“Sure Thing Filthy I’m sure it was the Sleep Serpents and What have You just Please get the fuck out of the Way.” said Dizzy growing more Demanding by the Minute.

   

The Bum strained and sighed as He dragged Himself to His feet. He then peered around on the Ground collecting His various Belongings into a Pile after which He then Inspected with Great Concern that Each and Every Item was accounted For. Once the Bum had completed His process He inquired about a Possible Green Assistance Program Payment.

Lee had absolutely No Clue what the Man was referring too, that was before Dizzy smacked His arm to get His attention. Lee watched as Dizzy pulled a Couple of crinkled Up Dollar Bills from his Wallet, and a Joint from behind His Ear which He then promptly handed to the Man. Lee looked at Dizzy who Nodded His Head Slightly and motioned towards the Man by Rolling His Eyes with the Classic “I’ll Explain this shit Later, Now JUST DO IT.” Expression Plastered across His face. So still trying to process the whole situation Lee forked over Five Dollars adding He wasn’t Holding.

       

“Thank You Sires for Your Divine Tribute to this truly Down Trodden Old Soul. Go Be on Your Way Now Royals the Court will not Wait as The War Tribunal is Chomping They are Chomping at the Bit. They want to Cry Havoc and Release Their Dogs of War Upon the World, and Revel in the Retribution!!,” Hollered the Homeless Man in a Grand Fashion while Bowing Ceremoniously Ushering Lee and Dizzy into the Apartment Building.

       

Dizzy followed closely Behind Dizzy as They entered the Cramped Little Lobby which must have Measured a mere 10 feet by 10 feet and Not a Hair more. There was a Bare Light Bulb suspended from the Low Lying Lobby Ceiling that Swung ever so Slowly back and Forth flickering every so Often which Lee found to be a Bit Unsettling to say the Least.

The Floor was so Gritty from the Layer Upon Layer of Compounded Dirt and Grim it felt like walking on fucking Sandpaper. The Walls were Painted in a Shade of  Sickly Olive Green that reminded Lee of a  Defunct Prison, a Mental Hospital Throw Back from the fucking 60’s, or perhaps an Abandoned Military Facility.

       

The Paint was Not Only Faded and caked with Filth it was Cracked and Chipping off all over the fucking Place.  For all Intents and Purposes the Lobby Didn’t resemble that of an Legitimate Apartment Building, but that of a fucking  Abandoned and Decaying  State Run Institution that had been fucking Shut Down and Forgotten About all those Many, Many Years Ago.

Lee was beginning to Suspect that This Apartment Building as Dizzy claimed was in Fact a Shady Run Down Fleabag Hotel where You can Rent Rooms by The Hour, and Who’s Residents consisted of Late Stage Alcoholics Drinking Themselves to Death, Junkies of All Kinds, Mentally Ill People whose Family as well as Society had Left Behind, Petty Low Level Criminals and Thugs, and Wards of The State.

        

Be Sure to Catch Next Weeks Riveting Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (38/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober (Posted 1:33 AM)

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (32/365)

Dizzy sat back on His Bar Stool, and stared at the Vast array of Liquor Bottles that lined the Wall behind the Bar as if He were memorizing the Wide Array of Labels for Future Reference. Perhaps Dizzy thought knowing a wide range of Liquors might come in handy if He suddenly found Himself on Jeopardy with Alex Trebec during Happy Hour. For whatever reason Dizzy had suddenly become silently introspective which didn’t bother Lee in the Least.

The way Lee saw it the ability to sit comfortable in Silence with a Someone was a true Testament to true Friendship. To be able to sit in a Room with someone and NOT feel Compelled to Converse since silence makes People uneasy in General. Lee recollected a saying He had heard year before something to the affect of “Silence Makes Guilty People Feel Uneasy.” which He always found Ironically Amusing. If that was indeed true Lee figured that made just about everyone Guilty of something, and that made Him wonder what They perhaps were Guilty of.

       

As Lee sipped His Beer He started to in gauge His curiosity surrounding the current situation as it related to Dizzy. Lee felt assured that this was the beginning of a Friendship, but exactly what kind of Friend could/would Dizzy be in Actuality? As We all know there are a Staggering amount of Different Personalities from which Dizzy May or May not Belong to so Time would be the Deciding Factor.

Lee might not ever even see Dizzy again after this Today’s chance encounter. If Lee did end up Hanging Out consistently with Dizzy would Lee find out quickly that Dizzy is a Shitty Person. What is say He was an Evangelical Fanatic, a MAGA, Hypocrite, or Fraud. Perhaps They’d be Friends for Now, but the Friendship would Fade Away after a pivotal point in the Friendship after a Seriously Heated Argument or if One of Them Moved a Way for Work or some such shit.

Dizzy could end up being one of those Friends You repeatedly cross paths with over the Years. The Kind of Friend were No Matter how fucking Long it has been You can pick Up EXACTLY where You left Off the Last Time Your Paths crossed. A True Kindred Spirit.

Perhaps They would become Friends and an integral in each other’s Lives. They’d both get Married and have a Few fucking Kids, a Mortgage, and a Asshole Boss. And each would be there for one Another during the Key moments in Their Lives a witness to Each Other’s  Trials and Tribulations in Life. Hell They might just end up picking up one another’s crappy Kids from Soccer Practice and Routine Life shit like that.

        

Only Time would Tell reminded Himself as He found His curiosity spiraling into Chaotic. For now Lee was just going to kick back and enjoy the fuck out of His Beer, and wait to see what was Coming up Next.

TUNE IN NEXT WEEK for the Next Exhilarating Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (33/365)

(Note to Readers: This Post was Posted at 12:42 am which again in FYB’s Book was still in this Case Sunday.)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (31/365)

” There nothing I like better right now than a Cold Beer.” Said Lee emphatically with His eyes still Locked on The Fatal Four Way Refund Death Match still going Strong in front of Them.

“I know a place Near by. It’s My Actual Neighborhood Bar believe it or Not. Low Lights, Cold Beer, No $15 Cocktails, No Flare, No Pretentious Mixologists, No Dj, and No Trendy goddamn Hipster Half Wits. People at The Boozehound are content to leave one another in Peace. Respect the Institution of Bars.” said Dizzy almost growing giddy a the Thought, “It’s called the Boozehound and it’s a True American Classic Dive Bar.”

“Dive Bar you say?” responded Lee His Apprehension being quite evident.

“What? You got a fucking Problem with Dive Bars, I mean what are You one of those Commercial Sheep? One Those Applebee’s Assholes or What?!” demanded Dizzy defensively.

      

“No Offense its nothing fucking Personal in the least. It’s just that sometimes People get confused on the exact Definition of a Dive Bar. What you described is the Ideal Dive Bar Scenario and I’m liking it again don’t get Me wrong. Some People mistake a Shitty Hellhole of a Bar as What a Dive Bar is or should. When in Actuality its nothing like the fucking stupid Stereotype as Stereotypes go,” explained Lee plainly, “Dive Bars don’t Stink of Stale Beer or Urine, They don’t smell like fucking Vomit either. They’re not dirty, scummy, disgustingly unhygienic, The Bathrooms aren’t total shitholes that make Gas Station Restrooms look like the Fucking Four Seasons. You walk into a place like that its just a Shit Bar it’s No Dive Bar by Definition thats for sure.”

“Oh shit Ok I see what  You’re saying. No I assure I’m not an Ignorant asshole or anything. Its a straight up by the Book Dive Bar.” said Dizzy with renewed Confidence.

       

With that the Two New Acquaintances departed the Theater leaving the Refund Turmoil behind. They walked several blocks through a nice Working Class Neighborhood until They Reached the Boozehound located on the Street Corner. Dizzy threw open the Door and strode in like He owned the fucking joint with Lee in tow.

Lee looked around the Bar assessing the Layout. To the left was the actual Bar that stretched almost the entire way down the wall, and a Row of High Backed Booths lining the wall to the right. The Restrooms were located all the way at the back of the Bar next to an Antique Wurlitzer Jukebox, and one of the World’s Last Pay Phones.

Dizzy and Lee posted up at the Far end of the Bar because Dizzy apparently had some fucking Mobster Complex. He said He always has to have His back to a Wall, and Where He could See the whole Bar but more importantly the Front Door. Lee wondered if Dizzy had a good reason to be Paranoid or if it was simply a Personal choice.

       

“See the Middle Aged Guy sitting in the Last Booth?” ask Dizzy in a hushed Tone.

“Yeah I saw Him when We came,” answered Lee, “Why what’s His deal?”

“Its one of those No One really knows. We Call Him Vladdy He first came to The Boozehound in the Winter of 1980, and been showing up every single day since. Vladdy keeps solo to Himself and He doesn’t say shit. Not that it matter though since Vladdy doesn’t speak a fucking lick of English and No One round here Speaks a lick of Russian, but Somehow Vladdy and the Bartenders have found some sort of way to Communicate even if it’s in a very Simplistic manner.” Replied Dizzy sparking up a Joint and continuing, “Oh it’s fine if I Smoke a little Weed in here I know the Owner. Anyway every morning when the Owner comes to Open Up Vladdy is already here and waiting on the Stoop. Everyday it’s the exactly same fucking routine. Owner Opens up, Vladdy takes His spot at the Last Booth along the Wall. After Vladdy takes a seat The Bartender brings Vladdy a Jar of Kosher Dill Pickles, a Shot Glass, and an entire unopened Bottle of this Insane Russian Vodka. I think I heard His Family actually makes the shit and ships it Stateside for Him or some crazy shit like that. It’s Vladdy so who knows.”

       

Dizzy paused for a minute to get the attention of the preoccupied Bartender who was standing with His back t the Bar intently scrutinizing the Football game that was on the Bar’s only TV. When Dizzy got the Bartenders attention He ordered Them a couple of Ice Cold DraftBeers along with a couple of Shots of Maker’s Mark before returning to the conversation.

“Well Vladdy spends the Day sitting in His Booth Taking Shots and Eating a few Bites of Pickle in-between until The Vodka Bottle is Empty. The Vladdy gets up and Leaves for where who the hell knows most likely its Home I’d suppose. And then it starts all over agin the next Morning kind of like an Alcoholic Version of that Bill Murray Movie fucking Groundhog Day and shit.” said Dizzy right before slamming a shot and a Beer, and then ordering another round.

Stay Tuned Kiddies for Tomorrow’s Stupendous Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (32/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober.