Short Horror Film Friday: AUTUMN HARVEST

Welcome to this Week’s Installment of Short Horror Film Friday featuring the Short Norwegian Horror Mystery Film AUTUMN HARVEST! The Film is Directed by Fredrik Hana, and Co-Written by Fredrik Hana and Marius K. Lunde.

Autumn Harvest is a Real Thinker if You will, and it’s a Bit of an Odd Duck. The Film is Shot Completely in Black and White and is Devoid of Any Dialogue whatsoever. This is a Truly Perplexing  17 Minute Insanely Cinematic Lovecraftian Tale that seems to Raise More Questions that it Answers. The Film is Full of Subtle Nuances, and Muted Details that almost Demand that it be Watched Multiple Times by the Viewer. It Only through Repeated viewing before the Puzzle of Autumn Harvest can be Completed at Last.

Plot Summery:

A Suicidally Grief Stricken Sailor living in an Isolated Shack on the Coast Line Kills Anyone that He Encounters while Answering a Mysterious Call Sea.

Enjoy.

Thanks For Watching,

Presented By Les Sober  

Once Trump Is Shit Canned WTF DO We DO With All The #MAGAssholes?!!

When Trump gets His Fat Orange Ass Booted from the Whitehouse What will Happen to all His Shitbag Supporters? This is a  Question I have been Mulling Over in My head for Quite some time Now. It’s like Germany at the End of World War II Once The War was Over, The Nazis Lost, and Hitler was Dead the German Public had to deal with the Left Over Nazi Soilders. The Nazis were such Pieces of fucking Shit that it didn’t seem right to just let them Reintegrate back into Society and call it a Day. People that are that fucked in the Head, and are the Scum of the Earth need Consequences for Their fucked up Actions. The World Dictates some sort of Retribution is Required in Extreme Cases such as These.

Let’s fucking face it MAGAs are Worse than fucking Nazi Scumbags. Nazi’s wanted to Use Genocide to Illuminate Jewish People from the Planet, and to Take over the Entire fucking Earth. MAGAs are Racist Ratfucks but They are also Sexist, Antisemitic, Homophobic, Ignorant, Hate filled, Mindless, Uneducated, Moronic, Inbred, Gullible, Child Molesting, Rapist White Trash Sheep the Absolute Worst Humanity has to Offer. These People bring Nothing Positive or Productive to the Table their Not Leaders Their Mindless Lemmings Born to Blindly Follow without Question. So when The Treasonous Orange Asshole and His Crooked Administration of Utter Assholes time in the Whitehouse is Inevitably Up They will be Subject to Arrest, Prosecution, Conviction, and Imprisonment for Their Crimes the Cowardly Traitors. The Fact Remains though We can’t lock up all the MAGAssholes (though We all want To) there simply too many of the Dumbfucks to Deal with.

               

So What do We do with all the Left Over MAGAssholes Then? Well I just so Happens to have the Perfect Solution for Handling these Pro Trump Dipshits. True We can’t Imprison Them all, and it’s Less than Likely that We would be Granted Permission to Kill the Sons Of Inbred Bitches on Sight which is a Shame as I think a MAGA Hunting Season would be Splendid. Now that We have established We can’t Lock them Up or Hunt Them for Sport what Option(s) do We have Left on the Table? The Answer My friends is DEPORTATION! That’s right Deporting MAGAs would be Hilarious as Hell since the Racist RatBastard Rejects want to Deport all the Immigrants so Deporting Them is Poetic Justice Personified.

Now thats just the beginning because once We have Decided to Outsource These MAGAssholes where do We Deport Them to Exactly? It is a Very Tricky and Rather Difficult Situation because Who in Their right fucking Mind would Allow Us to Deport MAGAs to Their Country. Absolutely No One I can fucking think of Thats for Sure and You Can’t Blame Them. The Rest of the World has Watched America Slide Down the Shitter (thanks to Fucktard Trump and the GOPieces of Shit) for the Past 4 Years. They have also witnessed How Shitty MAGAs are  so Why would They want/allow the MAGAssholes coming to take up Residence in Their Beloved Homeland? MAGAs are Human Parasites that do Nothing but Take Up Space, Waste Air, and Shit All Over Everything while Providing Nothing Beneficial to Society or the World Around Them. They are Human TapeWorms and Should be Dealt with as Such in that Parasites should be Eradicated No Matter What.

               

So Thus We are stuck with the Geographical Dilemma facing the Deportation of Any and All MAGAssholes. Fear Not Friends for I have Figured out the Solution to the Geography Conundrum and its Quite Simply and Extremely Easy to Execute. We Deport the MAGAssholes to the Continent of ANTARCTICA! Yes thats goddamn right I said ANT-fucking-ARCTICA. I’m pretty positive that You’re wonder Why Antarctica which is a Valid Question so Allow Me to Answer. First of Size Wise it got more than Enough Room (5,500,000 Square Miles Antarctica is the 5th Largest Continent and Twice the Size of Australia) for the Millions of MAGAssholes to live with Plenty of Elbow room. Second Antartica is One of if Not the Whitest Places on the Entire Planet so the Racist Nazi White Nationalist MAGAs would fucking love that shit.

Also there is No actual Population already Living in Antarctica to Deny the Entrance of the MAGAsshole Mother Load. There Approximately 1,000 Scientific Researchers Stations in the Winter, and about 5,ooo in Summer, giving it a Population Density of between 70 and 350 inhabitants per Million Square Kilometers (180 and 900 per Million Square Miles). Point being there’s Plenty of Room where the MAGAsshole can hangout that wouldn’t be a Bother or Imposition to the Various Countries Scientific Researchers.

               

Also there is No Established Government, Infrastructure, Military, or Government Agencies to Contend with. It is True though that Several Countries (such as France, Russia, United Kingdom, Australia, Norway, Chile,Argentina, and New Zealand for Example) claim Sovereignty in Certain Regions. While Very Few of these Countries have Mutually Recognized Each Other’s Claims, the Validity of these Claims in Not Recognized Universally. Antartica’s Status is Regulated by the 1959 Antarctic Treaty and Other Related Agreements, collectively called the Antarctic Treaty System.

Many People at this Point would Ask about all the Insane and Expensive Resources that would be needed for People to Survive in the Brutal Antarctic Frozen Wasteland (I mean Antarctica is the Coldest Continent on Earth with Temperatures going as lows between negative  112 degrees Farenhight and Negative 128 degrees Farenhieght). Also there are Virtually No Resources for Shelter or Food be it Hunting, Gathering, or Farming) which makes it one of the Most Inhospitable Places on the Planet. The Largest fucking Animal in Antarctica is a Wingless Midge (Belgica Antarctica) which is Less than 1.3 cm Long for Fucks Sake, it’s a Minuscule Insect. All Other Larger Animals are Considered Marine Animals, meaning that They Feed and Lively Mainly in the Ocean and includes Seals and Penguins. There are No Trees or Shrubs in Antarctica, and only Two Species of Flowering Plants Antarctic Hair Grass and Antarctic Pearlwort. The Bottomline is Antarctica Doesn’t have a Permanent Population for a fucking Reasons.

               

As Far as Resources or Monetary Budget I Again have an Answer for that which is WHO FUCKING CARES?!!

These MAGAssholes Don’t Deserve Any Outside Help to Possible manage to Survive in the Desolate and Frigid Antarctic Climate. Remember I said Deport Them Not Support Them. We let Them Pack whatever the fuck They want and Then We deport Them without any Assistance Programs in Place whatsoever. I mean Why waste Money on Such fucking Shitty People when You can Deport Them and Let Antarctica Resolve the Problem so to Speak. Let Them Freeze, Let Them Starve, and Let Them Die of Sickness its what MAGAssholes Deserve. If We can’t Kill Them Off Let Mother Nature handle it For Us. Point Being the Only Good MAGAsshole is a DEAD MAGAsshole.

Thanks For Reading,

  By Les Sober

(Pt100Am)

Absurdia’s Menu : Meet Our Elite Staff of Culinary Masters Pt 1 (Owner & Maitre d’)

Meet Our Gracious Owner:

The Owner of Absurdia is Mr. Leviticus Van Trundle the Son of Thaddeus Van Trundle, and heir to the Von Trundle Fortune. Leviticus grew up running playfully around the grounds of the Van Trundle Family Estate Prabangus Manor.

Leviticus attended the prestigious Prep School Pengar Pasar Academy until he graduated with minimal honors. Leviticus went on to finish his education at the Well to do Ivy League Elitiste Collage where he in majored in International Culinary Arts, and Ev Ekonomi Bilimi.

After Graduation Leviticus took a Culinary Sabbatical, and embarked upon a Trip that led him to travel to the four corners of the Earth to each and every Country &  Nation on Earth.

This rather lofty idea came to Leviticus in a dream on a Summer’s Night in which the ghost of Winston Churchill, Caligula, Anton Lavey, and Leviticus were having diner together, and discussing Flavor Profiles from the four corners of the Earth.

Upon waking Leviticus decided he must sample every food imaginable in every country possible until he ran out of both in 1999 and opened Absurdia.

 

Meet Our World Class Maitre d’Restaurant:

Irei Yushu has become know through out the World as the absolute pinnacle of Perfection in Maitre d Profession as it is known today.

Ire started his training at age 4 under the strict tutelage of Gurandomasuta (Grand Master) Sabisu no Ryoshu  in the small city of Utashinai located in the Hokkaido Region of Japan.

Irei studied furiously for 22 hours a day 7 days a week for 6 years before even being allowed to look at a proper and professional place setting, but that didn’t phase Irei in the least.

At the tender age of 12 Irei was approved by Gurandomasuta Sabisu no Ryosho to advance to the Saiko No  Academy in the Village of Chichibu, Saitama Prefecture Japan.

At 30 Irei graduated the Saiko No Academy at the Top of his Class, and having earned ever award the Academy Offered was drafted by Shiko Collage of the Maitre d’ Arts in Sapporo City.

Irei Graduated Sabisu no Kotei from Shiko at just 42 years of age making him the youngest graduate by 18 entire years.

Eleven minutes after graduating Irei took the extensive, and brutally intense Fukano Board’s Maitre d’ Exam which is administered over a long, and exhausting 336 hours strait with a 3 minute break for every 24 hours of Testing.

Irei finished the Exam in just under 188 hours, without any breaks, and scored a record high of 999/1200 making Irei the most in demand Maitre d’ since French Maitre d’ Grosse Baise (1809-1918).

Irei’s first job was working the front of house for the Elite Swedish Restaurant Feta Katter before leaving for a job as Head Maitre d’ at the Superbly  Sublime Eatery Spise Pa Joes in Denmark. And finally before working with us at Absurdia (starting in 1999) was the Maitre d’ of Maitre d’s at the Exclusive Norwegian hot spot Spis Fettkake.

While working at Absurdia Irei won the coveted Italian Mangiare Cazzate Premio in 2002-Present, The Lithuanian Bepramiskas Prizas (1999, 2002, 2005, 2008, 2012, 2015, & 2018), The Polish Gownaine Maitr d’ Trofeum (2000, 2004, 2008, 2012, 2018), and Portugal’s Highly Prestigious Fiho Da Puta in (2001-2016 and 2017- Present)

Irei’s Motto is “Perfection isn’t a Goal, Its a Way of Life.”

 

Thanks for Reading,

 By Les Sober