Nudity – f-your blog

Monday With Umami The Artist (This Post Is NOT About Food)

Once again we are the start of a new work week which means returning to work which is a laborious chore, but fear not for I Otto Control am here to rub some salt in the wound. It has been said countless times that the beginning of the work week is truly dreaded and that reputation is more than warranted as we are all aware. The drudgery drenched in misery aspect to Mondays that we all are well aware of as we sell our time, and more over our lives to a job that is nothing more than final fucking slavery. Allow me to put it simply: of all the species on the entire planet Humans are the only one who have to pay to live here.

Let that sink in for a second as it might be a moment before one can get their mind around it. The unacknowledged aspect to the loathsome Monday equation is that much like full moons have a noticeably advert affect on people’s behavior/mentality. That’s to say when people are angry, annoyed, stressed, or depressed they have the tendency to take out their aggression on those around them. Mondays a mired maze of negativity a veritable breeding ground for both malice and mourning.

So in a salute to the anguished insanity of Monday’s post features a video by ARTIST AND CREATOR UMAMI. Umami (aka Justin Tomchuk) is a Canadian artist and content creator who makes surrealist animated videos. Now this is where it gets a bit precarious as for all intents and purposes do not know the title of the video as I can not read any Asian languages. Aside from the title translation situation this little taste of gothic horror reminds me of something a serial killer would have playing on a projector utilizing a bare wall as a screen.

WARNING:This video contains fast flashing images, and It may cause discomfort and trigger seizures for people with Epilepsy. I am well aware the video itself warns of this, but Les wanted me to add it just to insure we did our dual diligence.

See you on the other side…

Presented by Otto Control

G.O.A.T and Your M.O.M

Many years ago a buddy of mine showed me an episode of the TV show TOSH.0 he had recorded previously. The main feature of the show was a viral video starting the band G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. playing their now infamously famous song “Quack Like A Duck” at someone’s lame ass backyard party (or whatever kind of get together it was it’s kind of unclear). The video had everyone on the internet wondering who the hell was the older frontman who wears only a cape, cowboy hat, and a thong (which are all American flag themed) when preforming.

The answer to the question of who was this band is it’s lead singer and frontman are G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. an acronym that stands for GOD OF ALL TEXAS AND YOUR MASTERS OG MENACE (the origins of the name are unknown, but most people presume its linked to the location of the band. The band is a Novelty Alternative Rock band formed back in 2007 and are based out of Austin, Texas. Now this band would make a shit ton more sense if you changed the context from grown adults to the more appropriate high school freshman garage band. I say this because the band’s lyrics are inappropriate with sexually charged lyrics, and the music is pretty fucking basic (there’s NO Grammies in these guys future). Thats why my first impression was “Who the fuck are these lame ass adults acting like they’re hormone ravaged high school teenagers?”, and immediately dismissed the band as nothing more than a pathetic joke (just like another band THE MENTORS). I addition to the immature lyrics and basic musical talent GOAT is know for his brand of sexual dancing involving the shaking of GOATS junk. I saw one video where he played a tambourine by hitting it with his thong covered package.

Then recently something someone said reminded me that G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. actually existed since I had completely put them out of my mind until then. My initial opinion had remained unchanged regardless of my shitty memory, BUT this time around I slowly found myself abandoning my disgust in favor of laughter. The more I laughed the more the band grew on me like a fucking rash as I started to view them more as an odd ball joke instead of a bunch of untalented adults still dreaming of being rock starts. Before soon I was in what I refer to as “rubber necking” territory since you don’t wanna look at the car crash that’s causing the traffic jam you’re stuck in. You tell yourself you won’t look because it’s a morbid curiosity, and if it was you involved in the accident you wouldn’t want people driving by staring. Accept we all know in spite of your telling your self not to look and running through the reasons not to look INEVITABLY when you get to the head of the traffic jam YOU DAMN WELL DO LOOK. This is how I now feel about G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. like a horrible car crash that you cannot help looking at even if you believe you don’t want to.

The band consists of an average of 3 Members being Micheal Anthony Gerard (aka GOAT) on vocals/bass, Bubba Spunk on drums, Toni Gnosis on guitar, and part time member Eric Houser on bass when GOAT is more preoccupied with singing. The band are available for hire, and have played at weddings and other associated venues. They also have a single a 12 song live album titled “Dvck Hvnt” (and if you know the band that doesn’t stand for “duck hunt”, but more likely its an alternate spelling of “Dick hunt”).

Video playlist:

G.O.A.T. and Your M.O.M. “Quack Like a Duck” (Live)
Quack Like A Duck: Explained by GOAT Himself
Quack Like A Duck: Explained by GOAT Himself: Part 2 (butt of corpse)
G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. – 1st Date (2016)(Live)
G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. – DP
G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. – Hotter Than Hell (Live)
G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. – Thot U Were My Friend (Live 4/14/2016)
G.O.A.T. and Your M.O.M. – Butternut Squash

PLEASE WELCOME TO THE STAGE G.O.A.T AND YOUR M.O.M!!!

HEY LOOK IT’S SOME BONUS SHIT!!!

“QUACK LIKE A DUCK” LYRICS:

[Chorus]

Can you quack
Can you quack like a duck when you suck
Can you buck like a horse when we fuck
Can you take every inch up your butt
Can you shit on my chest for good luck
Can you quack
Can you quack like a duck when you suck
Can you fart on my balls when we fuck
Can you stick your whole tongue up my butt
Can you shit on my chest for good luck
Can you quack
Can you quack like a duck when you suck
[VERSE]
Give it a suck
Give it a fuck
But you ain’t cute enough to where I want to
knock you up
And if you swallow it whole can you take it up
the butt
Now I might keep you around long enough to
bust a nut
Well I want to knock you down
Cause I want to knock you up
All I really want to do is fuck you in the butt
Then you turn around and then you suck it up
While your girlfriend’s behind me with her
tongue right up my butt
[Chorus Repeat]
[Verse Repeat]

NOTE TO READER: GOAT is a life long heavy metal fan so it’s worth pointing out there 2 heavy metal references in Butternut Squash. The first is the phrase used throughout the song “Caught in a mosh” which just so happens to be a song by the heavy metal legends Anthrax. The second is “cherry pie” which was a song by the lame hair metal band Warrant. In addition to these two specific references you can see in the Video’s DP and Butternut Squash that whatever room the band is playing in has several Heavy Metal flags/posters for other Metal Legends such as Metallica and Iron Maiden.)

See you wench I see you,

Justin Sane

Extreme Grindcore: C+NT BUTCHER

A While Back My Path Crossed Once Again with that of My Long Time High School Friend Bluejetski whoI hadn’t Talked to in God Knows How Years. We are Both Massive Music Fans Who’s Tastes Lie Predominately Outside of the Mainstream Commercial Happy Horse Shit. I have always liked Extreme Forms of Music such as Death Metal, Industrial, Heavy Metal, Black Metal, Hardcore Punk, Grindcore, and Horrorcore for Example. Once We had Reconnected We immediately picked up Where We left Off just as if We had Never Stopped Talking To Each other to Begin with. It wasn’t Long Before We got on the Topic of Music, and were Manically Swapping Bands/Artists Names that We had come Across Over the Years since We last Spoke.

One of My Favorite Bands since My High School Years to this Very Day is The Notoriously Offensive American Grindcore Band Anal Cunt Founded By Grindcore Legend Seth Putnam. Bluejetski told Me that I Should Check Out ,If I hadn’t Already, the Band Cunt Butcher Who were Australia’s Answer to Anal Cunt so to Speak. The Band Cunt Butcher was Founded By the Musician Carcass Butcher (Real Name Marcus Kapitza), but that Wasn’t All there was More to Contend with. Blujetski then went on to Inform Me that (in Spite of being in the Golden Age of the Internet) Cunt Butcher was so Obscure that Not Even the Google Gods could Help Me that Much. Well He Wasn’t Kidding that’s for Sure. There is Virtually NO Photos, Interviews, Live Show Footage, or Songs by Cunt Butcher (or Carcass Butcher/Marcus Kapitza) fucking Anywhere and We Scraped the Hell Out of the Internet. We are Literally Posting Everything We managed to Uncover Online here in this Very fucking Post.

WHO/WHAT IS CUNT BUTCHER?!

Cunt Butcher was a Grindcore Band, Formed in 2004 in Sydney, Australia and was Later Based in Brisbane. Originally Cunt Butcher was an Experimental Solo Bass Project in Offensive but Catchy Grindcore for Musician Carcass Butcher with Two Goals in Mind. The First Goal was to Create the Heaviest Most Aggressive Music Humanly Possible using Only Bass Guitars, and Secondly to Entertain and Offend by Bringing the Element of Danger and Controversy back to Grindcore. Cunt Butchers music is Chauvinistic, Racist, Sexist, Meat Eating, Pornographic, Beer Swilling, Violent Hate Driven Grindcore with all of the Politically Incorrect Bullshit that Pervades the Genre. Its Simply Being Offensive as Possible to Create the Maximum Amount of Shock and Awe from Critics and Fans Alike.

Needless to say Cunt Butcher went through Several Lineup Changes and Configurations Over the Years. For Almost Two Years Carcass and Second Bass Player Cadburry Redbeard, Together with a Drum Machine, Terrorized the Sydney Live Music Scene with Raw Meat, Islamic Blowup Dolls, Pigs, Nudity, Blood (Both Human and Animal) and Assorted Other Fluids, as Well as Playing some Ultra Politically Incorrect Grindcore in Between. By Late 2008, after Numerous Drunken Post-Gig Incidents, the Relationship Between Carcass and Cadbury Turned Sour. The Band Broke Up Temporarily and Carcass left Sydney for Brisbane.

Carcass was Offered a Show on September 11, 2009, just One Year after a Similar Show caused a Huge Shit Storm of a Fight in Sydney , with Student Unions, Both Jewish and Islamic Groups, and All the Left Wing PC Assholes in Town doing Everything They could to get the Venue to Ban Cunt Butcher and Eventually They Succeeded. Given another Opportunity, Carcass Reformed the Band with Former Invocation and current Dreamkillers Drummer KKKrist, and took to the Stage Dressed as a Terrorist with Hilarious Results, Culminating with a Series of Brawls between Crowds of Drunken Metalheads and Scummy Punks out in From of the Venue.

Cunt Butcher’s Gigs were so Extremely Rare due to Venues and Promoters being very Reluctant to Book the Band due to Their Outrageous Live Show Reputation. The Band’s Shows were also the Only Actual Way of getting Hold of Cunt Butcher’s Recorded Works that was with the Exception of the Album ALLAH SHARMUTA which Carcass Butcher completed Recording just Three Days before His Untimely Death on November 18th, 2014. Carcass wanted to hand out the Album for Free at a Cunt Butcher Live Show, But Due to His Death the Show was Never to Be. After Carcass’s Demise ALLAH SHARMUTA was Posted for Free Online out of Respect to Carcass as well as Cunt Butcher Fans.

Posted Below:

The Whole Set from a 2008 Live Show
The Whole Set from a 2010 Live Show
Allah Sharmuta (FULL ALBUM)
a Song From an Appearance at The Station Hotel
A Song from Musicland in 2011

Enjoy.

Thanks For Reading/Watching/Listening,

Presented By Les Sober & FYB

(Pt110Am)

Malevolent Monday Movie: THE GRINDHOUSE MASSACRE

Welcome to the Malevolent Monday Movie Featuring 2007 Independent Horror Film Directed By Dustin Austen The Grindhouse Massacre!

Brief Plot Summary:

The Grindhouse Massacre follows a Washed up Scream Queen turned Television Host Named Virginia, whom refuses to do the Very Nude Scenes that made Her Famous in a Movie Titled Evil Bed 2: Nude by Dawn. While trying to take Her Career in a Different Direction as a Host of an Underground Television Horror Show.

When Virginia’s Distributer Threatens to Drop Her because Her Movies are No Longer in Demand. As a Result She goes on a BLOODY RAMPAGE as She tries to Rid the Business of Stupid, Nudie Horror Films, and the People Who Star/Produce the Movies. Virginia won’t Stop by just KILLING PEOPLE, She’s Documenting the Whole Experience and Plans on Making a Movie that will Resurrect Her Virtually Dead Career.

Enjoy.

We Hope You Enjoyed this Tale of Violence and Revenge as Much as We Did.

Thanks for Watching,

Presented By Les Sober & FYB

By Far The Worst Strip Club I Have Ever Been To.

Now just to get it out of the way if after Reading this Post You honestly want the Address to this Surreally Shitty Strip Club (as it like to call itself) all You have to do is send Us an Email Requesting it. Ask and You shall Receive.

Back in My early 20’s I was Living in some shitty Section 8 Housing Apartment Complex with a Buddy of Mine I had met while in Rehab. He went by the nickname Kujo. He spelt Cujo with a K to be original. Here’s a fucking idea if You want to be original don’t pick the name of a Legendary Horror Character asshole.

Neither of Us had jobs and We spent Our days killing time fucking around aimlessly. We were basically broke most of the fucking time since We were self-Unemployed, and if We got hold of a couple Extra Bucks We pissed it away Parting.

It was one of those rare times when We were rather flush from having worked a couple of Day Jobs for some Day Labor Company, and had racked up some spending cash. We were sitting around shooting the shit trying to come up with some dumb shit to do. Finally Kujo volunteered We could go to The Strip Club. I had no fucking idea where the fuck there could be a Strip Club Our are area I sure as fuck didn’t know of one. So out of a mix of intense Boredom and Curiosity I said sure why the fuck not.

We got in My car and headed out to whatever Strip Club Kujo had been babbling about. We drove for about 15 minutes into the City Suburbs when all of a sudden Kujo told Me to park when I saw a spot on the Street. I though what the fuck are We stopping Here for? The I assumed Kujo was picking up some coke or some other Party Favor. I Pulled up to the curb and parked outside of what appeared to be a Block of Retail Stores that had closed hours ago.

I parked the car, got out, locked it, and proceeded to follow Kujo who had already started walking off down the Sidewalk. I kept waiting for Him to say some shit like “We’re going to see My Guy so be cool” or “I’m going to see mY Guy to pick up some Colombian Marching Powder so wait here a minute”, BUT Kujo walked instead of in total silence. Then out of no where Kujo stopped, took the last couple of drags off His Cigaret, and opened some fucking random nondescript Door. It honestly looked like a Door that would lead up to a Residence where someone was Living.

When I stepped through the exterior Door I found Myself walking directly behind Kujo since the Hallway We were walking down was so fucking narrow it felt like I had boarded a fucking Submarine instead of entering a fucking Building. The walls were painted this disgusting very light Yellow Pastel so for all I knew We had entered a fucking Elementary School or some shit.

Once We reached the End of this bizarre Hallway there was a Cashier’s Window the type you’d find at an Older Movie Theater. Behind the Glass sat this Older hefty Gentlemen where a light blue button down shirt that was 2 sizes too small for His Stature. He also was suffering from a bad case of Male Pattern Baldness. The most notable thing about the sunken eyed pale skinned Cashier was He seemed to be coated in a thin film of sweat from Head to Toe. We paid the bullshit $10 per Person Cover Charge, and then We turned to the Left where Kujo opened yet another Generic Plain Looking Steel Door.

We entered what immediately reminded Me of someone’s fucking basement that They had attempted to convert into a legit Strip Club, and failed fucking miserably. The entire “Club” was approximately 400-450 square feet in total. I suppose that the fucking Horrible Pastel Easter Yellow Paint must have been on Sale because the entire Room was Painted with it. The Walls, The fucking Ceiling, The Extremely Basic Desk like sitting area’s, and the Inside of the goddamn Door it was almost made You feel Physically fucking Ill.

I couldn’t help but notice that this so called Basement Strip Club was lacking ALL the essentials that a Good Strip Club has. There was No Bouncer, No Sound System, No Bar, Not one single Stripper Pole, No Lighting System, No DJ, and No VIP Room. This “Club” was a tiny fucking Windowless Room painted in a Make- Me -Wanna- Vomit -Yellow, with Florescent Ceiling Lights, and that was almost completely Empty.

I was informed by Kujo that because this “Club” was ALL NUDE They didn’t Serve Alcohol, BUT You could Bring You Own which made No Sense to Me. They didn’t want to serve Alcohol to Their Customers, Yet They could Just BYOB it thus negating this weird sort of Alcohol Law. We had neglected to bring any Beer with Us which didn’t exactly help this shitty situation.

We slowly made Our way to the other side of the Room and sat down on a fucking Steel Folding Chair (how fucking much of a cheap ass did the Owner have to be that He/She wouldn’t even spring for decent fucking Chairs?!) behind what looked like to Me as if a Office Desk and a Table had a fucking Kid, I assume They were Homemade especially for this Strip Club Shithole.

The Stage was just a Large fucking Block about 4 Feet high, 4 Feet Wide, and 10 feet long at the most, and Yes it was painted that Hideous fucking Yellow like everything Else. The Talent were NO WHERE CLOSE TO BEING ACTUAL STRIPPERS. The Girls lackadaisically mousied through a Doorway that was covered with a Black Sheet, NOT A CURTIN some asshole just tacked up a Bed Sheet, and called it a Day.

The Girls were already completely Nude when the strode out onto the Floor. They would then ascend to the whack ass excuse for a fucking stage, and pace around in a fucking circle and that was it. There’d be 6-7 Girls lingering onstage again pacing in a circle like a bored Zoo Animal in its Enclosure. They didn’t interact with the handful of Scummy looking Customers (Myself included not going to lie), They never Waved, Made Eye Contact, Talk to, Smiled at, or even fucking acknowledged They or We were even fucking there. The Talent seemed utterly oblivious to Their surroundings.

Every couple of minutes or so one of the Girls would be swapped out for a New one like a fucking Conveyer Belt of ass. After about half an hour I turned to Kujo and told Him as far as I was Concerned all this place was was a waste of $20, and that I was leaving to go look for the nearest Neighborhood Bar. Kujo begrudgingly agreed, and Our short Visit to this Clusterfuck of a Crappy “Strip” Club had finally come to an end.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

Web Cam Sex Show Vs. 976-HUMP (4867)

Lets just be Adult about it and admit that since there have been People there has been Porn. Cave Paintings became Nude Portraits. Man invented Tools and Nude Sculptures two minutes later. Man created the Written word and Literary Porn was Born. The things really started to take off.

Then the Invention of the Camera changed the World. It all started with Nude Pictures then evolved through time into Pornographic Magazines such as Playboy or Hustler.

After The Camera blew Everyones Tits off Mr. Bell invented The Phone which led to Phone Sex, The Rise of the 976 SexLines, and Eventual demise due to the invention of the Internet (Why Pay for Porn when You can get it ABSOLUTELY FREE ONLINE FROM ANYWHERE?!)

Then Holy Shit someone invented the Movie Camera which introduced Society to Pornographic Movies.

Next the HOME VIDEO CAMERAS AND VIDEO TAPES. Now Everyone could make Their own Sex Tapes, AND with a VCR (first Beta then VHS) People could watch Porno Films in the Comfort, Safety, and Cleanliness of Their Own Home.

At the same time of the Golden Age of VHS that PC’s were becoming more and more popular, and along with Computers came The Beginning of Gaming as We know it.

And OF COURSE People Invented “Adult 18+ ONLY” Pornographic Games. These Original PC Text Based Role Playing Games are the FARTHEST CRY from the Crazy CGI Adult Games They have out Today. It be like comparing an Atari 2600 to a Playstation 4.

The Internet grew to fruition, and that literally gave One the ability to see an ACTUAL WORLD’S WORTH OF PORN FROM AROUND THE GLOBE AND TO THE 4 CORNERS OF THE EARTH.

The Best had yet to come in the Invention of The Smart Phone. Smart Phones had EVERYTHING One would need for Pornographic Activities. It had a Camera, A Video Camera, and Internet Access.

Plus unlike PC and Laptops Smartphones are Hand Held Devices, and thus can fit in Your Pocket allowing You to take it ANYWHERE at ANYTIME.

This provided the Platform for the Progression of Human Sexuality with such things as Sexting, taking/sending of Nude Selfies, Tumblr, Growler, Craig’s List (Casual Encounters), Emoji being Given Sexual Association. The Eggplant Emoji being designated as the sign for Penis for Example.

Now that We’ve covered the basic T and A Timeline heres the point of this for this Post: I will be Comparing/Contrasting Two of the Above: 976 Sex Lines of Yesteryear Vs. The New School Internet Live Web Cam Sex Shows.

As One may have already deduced Each The Old School and New School have Their own Pros and Cons its true. And While Live Web Cam Sex Shows are one of the Top Social, and Technological Pornographic Creation does that make Them Superior

Remember Porn is ENTIRELY FANTASY BASED, and uses the Greatest Sex Organ Available to Humanity (get Your Mind out of Your Crotch) The Mind.

I’ll start off with the Old School 976 Sex Lines. For those who are too young to remember or know what the fuck a 976 is it was a Toll Number (90% of which were Sex Lines) You could call for Phone Sex that charged by the MINUTE.

The Numbers always started 976 and the other four digits spelled out something sexual like 976-GIRL, 976-HUMP, 976-SEXX or something similar I’m sure You get the idea.

The FATAL FLAW that Ultimately brought down the 976 Phone Sex Empire was simply GREED. You see as I mentioned Dear Reader these Sex Lines charged per minute, But thats Not All.

The First Minute cost on average$2.99 to $4.99 or so. Then for each additional minute after that the Caller was charged a reduced rate of anywhere from $1.00 to $3.00 per minute.

I know reading this You must be wondering Who the fuck would pay that kind of cash for Phone Sex, and the Answer is FAR MORE THAN YOU THINK.

True there are a sparse handful of Late Night Ads for so called “Adult Chat Lines”, BUT it basically just redirects the Caller in some one or another to a Web Cam Performer.

Nowadays though the Old School Patron’s of 976 Phone Sex Lines are either Dead or Graduated to Online Live Web Cams where They are Charged as Well because New School or Old School its ALWAYS BEEN PAY TO PLAY.

True there are Free Live Web Cam Sex Show FOOTAGE available to the Public on Free Adult Sites like YOUPORN, But the Clips are Time Restricted and usually have No Sound (or if music is playing its some shitty sounding R&B that seems to be playing out of a Tin fucking Can under fucking water.)

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY YOU DON’T HAVE ANY INTERACTION with the Performer like You do with Phone Sex or a Live Web Cam Sex Show. Interaction is the Key to Keeping the Customer Interested because it Fuels The Fires of Fantasy. Thats why Strip Clubs will NEVER DIE, but I’ll get back to that a bit later on.

The Fantasy Factor was MUCH, MUCH GREATER with Phone Sex because YOU HAD NO VISUAL STIMULATION so The Caller had to RELY on Their IMAGINATION as a foundation on which to build said Fantasy.

Phone Sex was WAY, WAY more Detailed Oriented making for a much more VIVID Fantasy. It was just The Caller and The Performer one on one with no additional distractions such a music, Computer Sounds, or Other People.

Now Others could argue that Live Web Cam Sex Shows are Superior BECAUSE You can See as well as Interact with the Performer, BUT there are Cons as well that I think FAR out number the One Pro of having the Visual Aspect.

I mean either way Your paying for it so why not get Your money’s Worth?!

The Problem with Web Cam Sex Shows is its like a Virtual Strip Club if you will in that You and the Performer are NOT Even close to being alone as there god knows how many other People who are also vying for the Performer’s time and attention. This Creates a Chaotic to Combative Environment since all the Users can see What one another is writing. This is a HUGE fucking Distraction, and Ugly one at that.

In addition to all the Unwanted Company anytime one of them Tips the Performer some annoying fucking Alert Noise goes off like some sort of hyperactive Smoke Alarm having a fucking Seizure. That too is a BIG Distraction, and Distractions Decimate Fantasy.

Lastly the Web Cam Performer’s all seem to be desperately trying to hold the whole production from falling apart by the Performer becoming overwhelmed by having to manage a constant non stop barrage of Comments and Tip Acknowledgements.

The Performers end up looking like Awkward like a Cross between a Deer in the Head Lights and a New Born Baby Horse struggling to stand minutes after being born. It’s not an Attractive Look to say the least.

976 Phone Sex Lines gave the Caller a much more Personal and Intimate Fantastical Experience for the Money in spite of Lacking the Visual Component.

The Operator had to be Incredibly Gifted at Description and Enticing the Caller, They had to Act Their Asses Off since Their Performance could only be Heard and Not Seen. This Led to Operators creating several different Personas to Play with, and really losing Themselves in Their Alternate Work Personas. There was always a Strong Thematic Undertone. It took Skill. It took Talent. It was Professional Story Telling.

Now a Days You log into a Web Cam Show and its always the same deal. The Performers naked and fielding a myriad of User Requests. You see its not a One on One scenario instead You thrown into a MASSIVE MIX of Every Other Users Fantasies leading to a Schizophrenic Atmosphere.

That and a lot of the Other Users are just Barbaric Primal Male Scumfucks Type YELLING demands like “Shove such-in-such Up/In…” I mean talk about a fucking Distraction.

In Conclusion Which is Better The Old 976 Phone Sex Lines or The Live Web Cam Sex Shows of Today? Well I leave You to desert that for Yourself. If You give a flying fuck what I think then I’ll tell you. I have no fucking idea. It really comes down to the Type of Person You Are in the End I suppose.

Now before I sign the fuck off I will say I believe the Best Spank Bank Fantasy if You will for Your Money is The Strip Club. They Have Good Music, Booze, Plenty of Performers, and if You want more intimate Experience You can Buy a Lap Dance. Its the Best of Both Worlds really. You have the Visual Component AND a more Structured One On One Design.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

Textpocalypse

More middle of the night synaptic storms rolling through the maze like minds of SpaceDog and Myself. Here is the abominable textversation that took place while the rest of the World Slept.

Enjoy.

(If you Read Further You May Have to EAT your own ASS to Survive.)

SpcaeDog: I wanted to ask you about sports bets but im clearly not being too persistent since you dont like sports

Les: Hey let me hit you up in a few. At post office trying to get my passassport updated and shit. Taking waaaaay too long in my opinion. I find Sports betting very interesting.

SpaceDog: Look at u ihop hooker I will be ur bookie lmfao

+SpaceDog texts me a picture on images.google of a Tennis Player who ass he is a fan of, and was wondering if I or my Wife had 2 cents to add. I said if I had an ass like that I’d be better at soccer. My Wife is not an “Ass Person” we were informed.+

+I sent back a Screen Shot I took of Twitter’s fucking Template Warning that my account had been locked, and because I “exhibited unusual behavior that violates Twitter Rules……”+

+I then sent a picture of Alex “Asshole” Jones because while all other social media platforms (i.e. FaceBook, Apple etc) banned Alex and his bullshit Infowhores Show (for promoting hate, encouraging violence, promoting fake news, spreading conspiracies like Sandy Hook was a Hoax and the Kids weren’t victim’s they were paid child actors) Twitter refused at that point to Ban Jones.

Ironically since then Twitter has banned Jones from Twitter and Periscope which it owns, ONLY AFTER ALEX HARASSED THE HOLY LOVING SHIT out of Twitter’s CEO Jack Dorsey outside of the Senate Hearing proceedings screaming shit like the mental patient he is about whatever bullshit was on his deranged mind.+

Fuck Alex “The Asshole Jerk Off” Jones, BACK TO THE MAFUCKIN TWEETS!

SpaceDog: Here’s a song for you! My My My! by Troyne Sivian. (SD then texted a Spotify Link to the song) Mac Miller died omg

Les: So did Burt Reynolds any relation to Ryan?! Who’s Mac Miller? Charging Landline, cell is cutting in and out like a bitch.

SpaceDog: Mac Miller omg lol there was gonna be a link but yolo lol

Les: I have all of his albums downloaded on my Spotify Account. 26.

SpaceDog: Yo i need to ask u who just drove me around here lol

Les: Yo Shorty yo knows who dat

SpaceDog: U knows my piece

Les: I been break dancing old school 80’s as a tribute to Mac Miller

SpaceDog: U know it might not be that bad. you were the best i ever had

Les: The Wallflowers yeah?

SpaceDog: Lmfao good man

Les: JACOB “SPERM OF BOB” DILLIAN (Dylan?) Whatever.

SPaceDog: Sperm of the last rock n roll mouth that had a good cock come out. Call job away.

+SpaceDog then texts me a picture of Frosty The Snowman sitting on a couch watching porn, and jerking off. It said “Dreaming of a White Christmas”+

+I then texted SpaceDog This: +

SpaceDog: Sry I hit wrong hate.

+I responded by sending SpaceDog a GIF of an Old Pissed Off Cartoon Man, Naked, Partially Flying-Partially Humping his way through Space with a Pop Tart covering his Junk and a Rainbow Shooting Continuously Shooting out of his ass.+

(NOTE TO READER: Earlier on in the evening during a phone call with SpaceDog I had mentioned some weird shit about when I turn 80 I’m going to automatically Gay.)

Les: Me at 80 and Gay as FUCK.

SpaceDog: Lol holy shit shit

Les: I had to buy this shit called Itchibon Ball Baum cuz I was shitting in the Woods, and my Ball Bag rubbed up against some poison Oak. Greeeeaaaaseeeeyyyy.

SpaceDog: Xid rt y. Urdy. Dirty Birdy lol. Id love to write an f-yourblog about racial bullshit but idc because he white and been dead to me for 10 yeses.

Les: So fucking what about it? I’m confused as fuck currently. When I was shitting in the Woods a Group of Ticks crawled up my Ass Crack and started feeding by locking onto my Asshole. I had to floss my ass with a Pet Anti-Flea and Tick Collar.

SpaceDog: Ihj my my my

Less: Like a fucking Pesticide G String or some fucked up shit like that!

SpaceDog: Here’s a song for you…My My My! by Troye Sivan (SpaceDog texts me the Spotify link again)

Les: Got Chemical Burns on my goddamn butthole.

SpaceDog: Whyis tour. Utthile top 10 (SpaceDOg then texts a screen shot from Spotify’s screen for Sivan’s My My My)

Les: Sexy Shit. Gave me a boner, I’m gay now.

SpaceDog: oh babe sned me a forever stiff latex cocks its what us lesbos have. Lol huh?

Les: So Good, FO SHO FO SHO

SpaceDog: Oh have the gay i will have the cock

Les: FUCKING SPORTS! GO GAMECOCKS or just GO COCKS!

SpaceDog: The only games you Sout Cacalacy know are the ones your cock play with ur anus. Go Auburn. ok danny boy haha

Les: Why are Chaos Magicians Such Assholes? Goddamn Google has an entry that fucking literally says that shit. WTF now Internet WTF NOW?!

+I then texted SpaceDog a Picture of a close up of some Woman lifting her skirt with a smiling Justin Beiber face covering her Vagina that reads “Justin Beaver+

SpaceDog: The only woman that hate u sing so lets swim into the show of ivy and let our rel3vquce ring.

Les: Justin Bieber bangs Bovines dirty Cow Fucker

SpaceDog: Thats it my boy thats it my friend we sing this song to ivy she falls to her end.

Les: S-A-V-A-G-E …Ivy what?!

SpaceDog: I tried to call with these words to see if your ivied face had been preserved but you werent my lover not my friend she’d killed you lil your dead heart bled.

Les: Rad

SpaceDog:Oh the south she bleeds icy gets at her kneeeeeees

Les: LmMfao!

SpaceDog: Song just crazy. Raised by far and praise by 5A breeze by 5555555 a brace by for a for Raid 5 hey Girl. Sorry our butter and our jam is getting confused i just my putang tout u in the rouse.

Hey u want a q better choice. Bye. I hope u like your life lol wherever he stands our truth is ib my text. Mohammed my friend my bot and jbow jt eas a girl…vack in Bethlehem bye love.

Les: I’m so using this shit as a blog post coming up soon for fucking sure. Abortions all Around. Muhammad is a Bot LMFBO! CLASSIC!

SpaceDog: Its a sham

Les: Sham Wow?

SpaceDog: Shaw wow cocaine teenage dream. Brooklynn bo ram Botox baby boom boomer. No seems….

#This is the point in the textversation where I think its safe to assume our Dear Friend and My Partner in Crime more than likely passed out.

My brain was still on fire so I just continued on.

Les:Sham Wow Hookers AND Cocaine Baby! The Ball Baum came in contact with the Chemical Burns on my butthole ant it spontaneously Combusted, and now I have 3rd degree burns on my asshole.

Ancient Chinese Proverb: Man who sleeps with itchy ass wakes up with stinky finger.

A round of Finger Fucking for All. Can you fuck a Prolapsed asshole because that shit should be a fucking porn fetish/YouPorn Category. WTF is up with this Docking shit anyways?!

I was wiping my ass and my finger broke through the toilet paper and the tip of my finger grazed my asshole, does that make me gay?!

If your gay and horny and there only women around why not just fuck one in the ass?!

Is Necro Cannibalism better or worse than Necrophilia?! For NEcrophiliacs are Zombies a Deal Breaker?! Just when it comes to NEcrophiliacs the Deader the Better right. Zombie Babies don’t want to suckle your teat they want to EAT IT.

Giving Birth is like the fucking movie “Aliens” a small, bloody, slime covered living creature tears out of your genitals screaming like a son of a bitch. But worse because of the whole genitals over stomach shit.

If I’m Self Employed can I sue myself for Sexual Harassment?! What if you got a restraining order against yourself, I mean how would that shit work exactly I ask you?!

AT this point I was running on intoxicated fumes and quite texting in favor of Smoking Weed and then Sleep.

Brought to You By,

Les Sober & SpaceDog

The GG Allin Continuum Part 2: Now With Song Lyrics

As some Readers are aware I did a pictorial piece on the Chaotic Life & Infamous Carrier of Underground Hardcore Punk Singer GG Allin. After it posted additional pictures of GG Allin slowly started to trickle in from other Fans. I have already posted a second set of Reader Sent Pictures that was rather lame and uncreative.

This time around I’m going to intertwine the NEW GG ALLIN Pictures with a Song by The Meatmen (who knew GG Personally) I had forgotten about years ago. The Song is a miniature Biographical Tribute, and manages to encompass the entire Life & Career of GG Allin in a nasty little Nutshell.

“Rock’n Roll Enema” By The Meatmen:

For Jesus Christ to set the bar,

To be the Ultimate Scumfuck Superstar,

Left a Big Skid Mark on our Souls!

Called Yourself the Highest Power,

Loved to take a Golden Shower,

Stuck His tiny Dick into our Buttholes!

-He was a Rock’n Roll Enema, Rock’n Roll Enema-

Rockin’ Rollin’ Terrorist,

Head to Toe in Shit’n Piss,

He took it to the Edge and Overboard!

Thought His Schtick it wouldn’t Phase Ya,

Till He committed Coprophagia,

He was the Underworld’s Sick Fuck Overlord!

-He was a Rock’n Roll Enema, Rock’n Roll Enema-

Calling’ me a Goddamn Poseur

Guess what You Fuck your Life is Over

I live to Rage this Cage Another Day

Took it to the Cliff and Over

Suckin’ on Your Brother’s Boner

No Matter how you slice thats Pretty Gay

-He was a Rock’n Roll Enema, Rock’n Roll Enema (x3)-

REST IN FECES GG YOU SMELLY FUCK!!!”

Thanks for Reading/Viewing,

Les Sober

Prologue To A New Project Piece

Lets get to the point I’m a huge GG Allin fan though even I can’t agree with all of his Rock’n Roll Rhetoric and a few of his Batshit Beliefs. Plenty of people over the decades have attempted to chronicle the life and music of GG Allin.

There are 2 documentaries (Live Fast Die and the more known Hated In The Nation) that are extremely different in how they cover the subject/subject matter. The first follows a Punk Music Fan as he learns about GG Allin after reading a short 75 word article in a Hardcore Music Mag. The second was directed by none other than Mr. Todd Phillips while attending NYU in his junior year, and actually followed GG Allin on Tour/On The Road. Both are exceptionally well done and deserve proper recognition in their own right.

GG Also appeared quite promptly in the early 1990’s (1990 after his release from prison to his death due to a drug overdose on Heroin combined with Alcohol in the summer of 1993) He is most notoriously known for his appearance(s) on the Geraldo Riviera Show where he was known for his furious ranting and raving (much of which was incoherent) and combative attitude especially towards the disapproving audience members.

GG was also covered predominately in print through countless Magazine articles on his life/music, and News Papers articles on his arrests/trials/outlandish antics or behavior (GG was arrested over 51 times during his life mainly for his extremely aggressive and raunchy stage antics.)

GG even wrote his own book (his prison-era memoirs) titled “My Prison Walls” containing letters, illustrations, prose, and GG’s personal account of his time spent in prison.

So I’ve decided if a picture is truly worth a thousand words, and that GG has already been immortalized in Film, the Media, and Television alike I will be posting a solely pictorial piece on GG Allin. It has take an extraordinarily long time to hunt down a sufficient number of pictures, but its not been an impossible.

Now with that said I feel it is important and pertinent to list the most prominent facts pertaining to GG Allin and because of that I am writing this Prologue Post.

GG’s Father was an religious fanatic who was vehemently anti Social and more than likely suffered from Schizophrenia though that has remained unfounded. GG’s father didn’t have friends and hated most everybody and detested society. He was also know for flying into rages where he would go into the backyard and dig 3 graves (one for his wife, one for GG and one for his older brother Merle), and told them he’d kill them and bury them in the backyard if they didn’t obey him.
The GG moniker came from the simple fact that his older brother Merle couldn’t pronounce Jesus so he would call his little brother GG.

3. When GG was born his father named him Jesus Christ Allin after having a conversation with God in which God told him his son would be coming of Christ.

4. GG grew up in a small cabin in the woods with no running water or electricity.

5.GG’s father demanded absolute silence after 9pm so after 9 no one was allowed to talk.

6. GG’s Mom finally ditched her abusive husband and renamed GG Kevin Micheal Allin.

6.GG Allin started his music career as a drummer and transitioned into singer when he formed the band The Jabbers.

7.GG Allin promoted excessive amounts of Alcohol, Drugs, Sex, and Violence against Authority, Society and Haters/critics/wannabes mainly.

8.Again GG was arrested over 51 times during his musical career and in 1990 was sentenced to 3 years in Prison after alleged allegations of abuse by a fan. GG served 18 months of his sentence before being paroled. GG broke parole almost immediately to go on Tour.

9.GG never completed a full Tour due to personal injury or being arrested/jailed.

10.GG believed Rock’n Roll had been watered down into a bullshit form of music and he wanted to return the “Edge” to Rock’n Roll returning it to its former deviant form.

11.GG worked with numerous bands such as The Aids Brigade, The Jabbers, The Texas Nazis (who kicked him out), The Murder Junkies, AntiSeen, The Toilet Rockers, and The Scumfucs just to name a few.

12.GG used to attend High School in Drag and attended his brother’s wedding as both The Maid of Honor and Best Man.

13.GG Allin stage acts consisted of: Nudity (stripping buck naked during his performance was a GG staple) or GG appearing in just combat boots and a jockstrap with the words “EAT ME” written on it. GG was also known for Pissing on his fellow band members, Self Mutilation (GG would cut and carve himself up with broken beer bottles or crushed beer cans), Fights with the audience, Smashing the microphone into his clenched teeth (he once knocked out 6 of his own teeth during a single show, Live sex acts (fans would preform dude sex acts on or with GG during the show), Drinking Excessively/Drugs, Vandalizing Clubs/Venues, and GG’s most famous act of shitting on stage. GG didn’t just shit on stage he rolled in it, smeared it on himself and audience members, threw it at the audience, and even eating it.

14.GG’s shows usually lasted only 10-15 minutes before the promoter, club owner or Police shut it down due to violence, obscenity, assault or destruction of personal property (The Venue/Club)

So with that I end this pre emptive prologue piece and hope you check out the forth coming GG ALLIN: The Man, The Myth, The Monster Pictorial.

Thanks For The Read as Always,

Les Sober

GG Allin In His Own Words

Song: “Bite It You Scum”

Written By: GG Allin

Preformed By GG ALLIN & The Murder Junkies

Lyrics:

” You want me to Kiss Your Ass?

Well Bend over Buddy here comes my Foot!

I don’t need your crying ass Shit,

Temper rising pitch a fit”

Chorus: Bite It You Scum!

Bite It You Scum!

Bite It You Scum, Here I come!

Bite It You Scum!

Well you want me to contribute,

All I got is blood for you!

All you want is more and more,

Gluttony You Pig! You WHORE!

Chorus: Bite It You Scum!

Bite It You Scum!

Here I Come,

Bite It You Scum I want your cum

Bite It You Scum!

One day when your end is near,

I’ll be laughing at your fear,

When I’m done there be no one,

then who will be fucking up my fun? NO ONE!

Chorus: Bite It You Scum!

Bite It You Scum!

Bite it! Bite It! Bite It! Bite It You Scum!

Bite It You Scum I’ll never run,

Bite It You Scum!

Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggghhhhh!

Bite It You Scum!

Bite, Bite, Bite, Bite It, It, IT, IT

Bite It You Scum!

Bite It You Scum Sucking Fucking Whore!’