There was a period of time in my life where I relished randomness. One way I indulged was going to thrift stores and buying t-shirts that ranged from mundane to what the fuck? One such shirt was for a tech security company whose slogan “hack my network and die” across the chest. I was wearing said shirt yesterday when I went to pick up some grocery odds and ends and as I was getting into my car some random ass stranger woman asked my “If I hack your network you’ll murder me?” to which I replied “I believe I would be obligated to murder you, but I would sincerely apologize before I did.” then I shut the door and drove off leaving this woman standing even more confused then before in the parking lot. I live for shit like this.
Tag: Observational Comedy
Vegetarians Vs. Vegans
I have no issue with vegetarians there like the Buddhists of the food world. That is they do their vegetarian deal, you can do whatever you want and everyone eats in peace.
Vegans are a totally different fucking story thats for sure. I absolutely hate the hell out of fucking vegans because they’re the Christians of the food world. That is they feel some ungodly reason to shove their way of eating in your face as they rant like fucking Adolf Hitler on meth about how their way is so much better for you. But thats not all they also feel compelled to lecture arrogantly with a false sense of superiority about how everything you are eating (and every other person on earth) is toxic and slowly killing you. The food you eat (according to them)is killing us by clogging up your colon until the shit literally causes toxic shock syndrome rotting your internal organs, and is compacting in the valves of your heart causing an inevitable shit induced heart attack.
Bottom line: Thank you vegetarians for not being persistent food/diet neo nazi assholes about our dietary differences. Vegans go eat a steak you emaciated, sunken eyed, grey skinned and egotistical assholes.
About time for some criticism
From time to time I will be posting reviews of other blogs. I utterly believe with the ever expanding field of blogging that a Critic is well needed, if not a necessity.
So I am happy as hell to announce that (As far as I’m aware. Just saying so some smug douche who’s waiting to talk shit in a know- it- all manner can calm the fuck down and not bother posting a response.) as off now
I am the first official blog Critic
and
May I say that the shit has now hit the fan, shit is about to get real interesting.