The Performer Guy held the Christ like Pose for a few seconds before breaking into a full blown Gregorian Chant. Lee found it admirable that the Performer knew Latin since who the fuck spoke Latin as it had already been declared a Dead Language?! Once the Performer was finished singing He placed the Hammer down laying along the 2 by 4 with a Bizarre Ritualistic sense of Reverence.
Next the Guy retrieved an Old Beaten Up Bible, and a Rickety Music Stand from behind the wings. He opened the Bible to a Pre Marked Page, and started to Read the part of the Bible about The Last Supper in a Booming (almost Sing Song like) Baritone. Just as Lee was entertaining the idea of a second Bathroom break things started to pick up.
The Preformer started to speak Faster, and Faster like an Auctioneer on Crack Bender as His words began to Blur together Indecipherably. As He was reading at this point the Performer reached down and extended the bottom part of His Foreskin. He then held the section of His Foreskin in place using the insanely sharp looking Tip of the Massive Looking Nail.
Suddenly the Performer screamed out “THE BODY OF CHRIST!!!” like His fucking Life depended on it. This Snapped the Meager Audience back to Reality. As soon as He finished the word Christ the Performer picked up the 5 pound Hand Held Sledgehammer in His right Hand, Raised it High over His head, and then He brought it down (with all the might He could Muster) onto the Head of the Nail in one swift Blow. The Hammer struck the Nail with the loud Metallic Twang of Metal meeting Metal head on. The Nail Plunged almost all the way through the fucking 2 by 4 .
It was then that 3 of the 11 Audience Members present got up and left looking repulsed and pissed at the same time. Lee figured this Performance was like the others designed as an over the top Circus of Shock and Awe. And Lee would be damned if He was going to be the so called first on to flinch. This was an Abrasive Performance Art Showdown, and Lee was about to fucking loose.
The Performer returned to Reading about the Last Super from the Old Beaten Up Bible. This time His speech sped up much faster than the last time around, and Lee figured thats the way it is when you just impaled your Penis in front of a fucking Live Audience. As the Performer was building up Steam a Stage Hand in a Slayer T-shirt not so subtly snuck out and handed the Performer a Regular Standard Household Hammer.
This time the Performer Screamed Out “THE BLOOD OF CHRIST!” before taking the Claw of the New Hammer, and Violently Pried the Nail out of the Board and His Foreskin. As soon as the Nail exited His Flesh a fucking torrent of blood came gushing forth like somehow His dick had been transformed into a fucking Fire Hose it was truly unreal.
The Performer jumped back from the 2 by 4, and took His fucked up Foreskin and tried to pull it over the head of His cock. This looked to Lee like a strange attempt to stop the Profuse Amount Bleeding by turning His cock into an impromptu Water Ballon of sorts. Maybe the first thing the Performer (being uncircumcised) though of when looked down at His Bloody Bellend the first thing that popped into His head was Sausage. And thusly He was trying to use His Foreskin to create a kind of Casing if You will. Aside from the Odd Reasoning behind the Weiner wrapping idea it also was failing to work as copious amounts of Blood was being Splattered all over the fucking Stage at this point.
Stay Tuned Kiddies for the Next Stellar Installment of………
LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (28/365)
Thanks for Reading,
By Les Sober