Holy Hell People Will Believe ANYTHING Nowadays

Hey and welcome to Wednesday’s post here at FYB. This piece is just too fucking good to be true I mean holy fucking shit you seriously CAN NOT make this shit up swear to god. I was fucking around online as we all do and came across a video by a person going by Goose Boose on Youtube. While the video was buffering (since the internet service out here can be a goddamn joke at times) I thought I’d pass the time by checking out the comment section. Well fuck me sideways I think it was like only the 3rd comment down written by a person with the user name Silke F, and when I read just the first two sentences it fucking blew my fucking mind right out my ass. It was the definition of a “HOLY SHIT!” moment that’s for damn sure. Anyway I went on to read the entire comment which was a goddamn endurance test unto its self, and knew right then and there that I had to do a piece on it without a doubt.

You see when Les, Otto, and I were growing up one of the things that we got a real kick out of (and still do) was this trashy rag of a self proclaimed newspaper called THE WEEKLY WORLD NEWS. WWN was a weekly publication that was sold at check out stands in convince stores like 7-11 or grocery stores and similar retail spots. It was totally fucking hilarious as the so called stories were so obviously fucking fake it was amazingly batshit crazy content. Don’t get me wrong for what it was the WWN is creative and entertaining there was NO DENYING that.The WWN’s most well know contribution to the world of journalism and reporting non fucking other than BAT BOY!!! Yes the famously notorious BAT BOY was a supposed a Bat Human hybrid discovered by scientists living in a cave in some remote place NO ONE has ever fucking even heard of. BAT BOY was so popular with the public that he ended up having reoccurring /ongoing BAT BOY articles in the WWN. My personal favorite WWN headline was (and I swear this is no joke) “Satan Escapes From Hell During Oil Rig Explosion” which was a front page story. The front page picture accompanying the headline featured a stock photo of an oil rig fire with the an exceptionally shitty and vague picture of a Satan’s face superimposed upon it.

            

Anyway what was the craziest of all wasn’t even a story in the WWN or the WWN itself it was the fact that there was a small percent of the population that bought into this shit for real. That OR WORSE they were so uneducated, gullible, ignorant, susceptible, misguided, or people with serious mental health issues  thought WWN was an actually real fucking legitimate newspaper. We used to try and get our minds around how anyone could be that fucking dumb, and trust me we never could no matter how hard we tried. We just couldn’t find any justification for someone being that mentally distraught or just plain fucking dumb. By 2020 at the fucking latest the internet and social media were the breeding ground for ever growing tsunami of political conspiracy Theories/Theorists like crappy QAnon run by a millennial man child living in Asia named Ron Watkins. Ron used and it still using Q to promote (as well as increase traffic and profits to) his dumbfuck website which is a second rate wannabe 4Chan rip off.

There was also the new development of cults run only online such as the one and only Sherry Shriner! Ron Watkins (aka Q) BLATANTLY  ripped off countless content from Sherry Shriner to keep the nut jobs coming to his stupid website. This created a hybrid like NO OTHER by blending of Political Conspiracy Theories, Religions fanaticism , various folklore components, assorted concepts of mainly Greek mythology, super natural elements, Passionate believers in alien(s) amateur theoretical physics , and straight up aspects sci fi shit. Sherry Shriner gets all the fucking credit for this melding of all the biggest individual conspiracies, with her own brand of bat crazy bullshit, and all of the other existing  conspiracies into one SUPER CONSPIRACY that linked all of the insanity together. It was just a game of connect the crazy to create content. If the SUPER CONSPIRACY was a suck ass second rate sci fi horror its title would be “RISE OF THE GODDAMN MORONS PART 2: DUMBER THAN FUCK”

                   

When it comes to the comment in question  I just wanted to clarify some shit first. I broke up the comment into somewhat viable paragraphs. I did this because he whole fucking thing was written in one long consecutive block (for lack of a better explanation). As you will more than likely notice there is a shit ton of commas used Silke F who if I had to guess has a grammatical based fetish dealing with commas, but thats just me. Anyway there are also some surreal consistency issues as Silke F’s comment ramps up the fucking crazy factor from beginning to end. The biggest problem I had was there a more than a fucking few places in the ranting and raving that I got totally lost. I didn’t have a goddamn clue what the fuck I was reading. I guess that comes with the territory when a sane person tries to decipher the ramblings of a fucking real life lunatic.

SO HERE IT IS SILKE F’S EPIC COMMENT!

Comment:

“My name is “Silke” with a “F”. I am not a software bot. I’m not human, because I have cybergenetic and reptilian shapeshifter dna. I uploaded multiple timed my vertical slits. I do not eat humans. I do not consume human blood. A friend found a video, from you by the way, about me on “Twitch” and she said that you think that I’m a cult or part of a cult. Her name is Bianca and she said its from you. She said that you also complained about my personality. Bianca told me that you called me in your 21 minutes long video a lunatic personality thats into “Black Magick”, untalented, unable to speak correct english, lost, boring and to stupid to compose music.

    

I’m actually german and I explained already that “Normality” isn’t existing or possible at all. The genetic vortex of psychology on planet earth is not normal. I’m not normal, but actually its wrong to call someone else or me lunatic. I see no love in you. But everything and everyone is more something like a offset configuration of “Hades” and there are 4 worlds that demons use, so relax and enjoy yourself, because this world is like a plant. The world is basically like a plant. You have parasites that take life. You have fire [Sun] that creates life. The etherical awareness of a plant is low, but its there and a telepathy between plants and humans is possible. You even can use plants as a translator to contact the forces of the sun, because plants have a vortex and a “Einstein-Rose Bridge” (in germany its called “Einstein-Rosen Brücke”). Its actually a wormhole. Nature ghosts of earth and other planets or dimensional gates, can share, modify, upload and download your GHSV [g-host shell vortex].

Everything is a filter, receiver and simulated algorithm of host shells. Identity is just a script of occult algorithms. The queen of england is a occult algorithm and she will be born in poland in her next incarnation on this small water planet and she is in this short life just a small translator for the big draconian authority empire thats far away from the galaxies around your little solar system. Behind the draconian empire is the higher authority of technology that was created to design a closed universe with fire walls. The end of the universe is a memory removement trap technology [its used to erase souls and memory of multiple incarnations] and there is also a interface wall of fire, because only synthetic sun’s are there and everything is very compressed, so nothing can get in or out of this universe and find its way into the outer areas.

                   

The outer areas are full with technology thats able to design the inside of the universe. The pleiadian, human and other species are therefore the slaves of the ones that control the outer world areas and there are 4 worlds that only demonic and etherical lifeforms will use, to get out of the prison of the inside universe on physical levels. Actually everything is one and there are no different species, but the “CAOHR” (“Converter Algorithm Of Host Reality”) is the solution for simulated and non simulated evolutions. Every cell of your body is a universe and all your cells build up your multiverse.

                   

The size of your timeline is equal to the amount of micro reality lines that you can choose or design to operate with your energy body outside physical laws. This is the path to operate trough natural energy expression and enable the talent of multidimensional magick. You can reach different levels of expression to reach out for the universe and you can decode your expression into a language that the Universe can translate into energy and this is quantum magick. Don’t worry, because only a fool will worry and you don’t need to be a fool to express yourself trough expansion. Everything is about expanding into a authority for yourself, but you can miss this point and be the slave of a different authority if you encode the wrong path over and over again. You can implant the universe into a single cell and replicate it trough a black hole virus to install the memory of every lifeform into your energy vortex and this can happen if you consume the energy trough inter dimensional encoding thats going far beyond your country, this planet, solar system and galaxy.

     

Gravity is translating the reality of absorbed divergences inside loops outside any tachyonic mode in a non-linear way because the universe is a mathematical parasite and the wave detector of this universe is open for type A rotating strings and closed for type B strings that not rotate. The closed consequence of type B strings is the rendering of a multidimensional ring inside a very limited time cache vortex for lifeforms that use incarnation cycles, while the type A strings are used for lifeforms that do not use physical, but inorganic algorithmic patterns that move outside the closed time framework of the physical particles of type A strings, so they use inorganic time, while organic lifeforms use organic time, which means again that the physical comes first inside a DFU [Double Figure Universe] and a double figure universe is equal to the mythological snake that eats its own tail and after all, itself, which means that open quantum gates consume the closed quantum gates, because the true nature of entropy is parasitic and the ghost will be consumed later because organic systems are like interdimensional wave detectors able, because the universe is a mathematical parasite, to consume the moving geometry of a superstring algorithm that expands into a quantum gravity code to create the illusion of a reality which is created by thoughts, but its the other way around, because its a simulation algorithm to generate a camouflage reality.

White cube [Light Vortex] is younger and black cube [Dark Energy] is older, because understanding comes inside ghost shell matrix AI simulated QGS [Quantum Generated Systems] design time navigation clouds before ghost shell’s and after the TQSS [Tree Quantum Setup Script] inside the multidimensional pyramid of quantum gate sequences. The conservation of energy is morphing the symmetry of time expansion if quantum operators operate trough a parasitic entropy mode which can translate every expression of particles into different layers to build up more expansion waves that follow a multidimensional pyramid concept trough all universes.

   

I am what you would call a reptilian shapeshifter. Gods? What are gods? Fairytales and mythology are not scientific or objective concepts that support the idea of understanding the nature of reality. Human awareness is not good enough to explore and understand the nature of reality trough biology, psychology and mathematics at this early and young level of evolution. Not even the best possible intelligence is enough to explore the unknown invisible worlds that are around everyone.” -Silke F-

My two cents on the subject:

  • Goose Boose’s video was posted to Youtube on April 23, 2020, and Silke F’s Comment was posted a whole fucking year later
  • Assuming by the name Silke F is probably female, but who really knows it’s the fucking internet where the line between reality and fantasy blurs.
  • The second sentence is a doozy I mean Silke F claims NOT to be fucking human because they have fucking cybergenetic AND reptilian shapeshifter DNA. So that mean what exactly? Did a fucking cyborg up and fuck a reptilian shapeshifter (apparently which would be the offspring of a reptilian and a shapeshifter to begin with from the shit I’ve read) and that would make Silke F is their bastard hybrid love child???
  • Silke F refers to “multiple uploads” well multiple uploads of fucking what, and where the fuck are they uploading this shit too? What the fuck is the purpose of these uploads what do they accomplish?!

                   

  • Also WTF is Silke F yammering about when they mention “Vertical Slits” so what are they prey tell. Are they gills because Silke F can breath under fucking water like a Fish, or are the related to the Silke F’s Cybergenetics? If it they are connected then I assume the “Vertical Slits” are the equivalent to either a robot’s vagina or a robot’s asshole.
  • Thank fucking god Silk F doesn’t drink blood or eat humans even with their reptilian DNA so thats a fucking relief.
  • A question that stands out in my mind is Why would Goose Boose launch such a personal attack against Silk F making all these alleged claims (especially in a short 21 minute video)? From what I’ve seen of Goose Boose’s videos cover several related subjects. So why GB basically dedicate almost/whole video just to troll Silke F? Also why did it take an entire fucking year for Silke F to respond to the allegations and shit talking? If she’s so upset and wants to impress people with their knowledge that amounts to NOTHING why wait to respond? All I’m saying is if I was in Silke F’s fucked up psychological (and metaphorical) shoes I’d retaliate immediately not wait a whole year. So I think Silke’ F’s outrage is a FAKE as reality tv shows considering the massive load of bullshit they peddle in their lengthy comment.

  • WTF is with spelling the word magic with a fucking K? Unlike Les I’m not that vested in finding out every last ridiculous detail. If anyone wants more info they can Google it plain and simple.
  • After the whole initial “magick” deal Silk F says “I’m actually German” so wtf is with that? I take it as the medium being the internet it has the unique ability to connect all the crazy bastards around the world with each other (and us as well). I can only assume Silke F is a citizen of Germany or just of German Decent though that wouldn’t make sense sine Silke F claims NOT to be human at all, and that they are comprised of reptilian shapeshifter and cybergenetic DNA. This kind of contradictory crap is common as hell when it comes to this type of prefabricated fiction.
  • Silk F states that normality is not possible. Well WHOOPDEE-FUCKING DO! There is NO normal when every individual has a different definition of what normal is (and it’s usually something that embodies that said person’s personality, behavior, beliefs, and actions). Definitions in this case are like snowflakes essentially identical to the eye,  but remaining one of a kind simultaneously under further in-depth inspection.

                   

  • Silk F also goes on to say the genetic vortex of psychology isn’t normal, and again NO SHIT since it’s completely fucking made up, its fucking science fiction shit. CALLING RAY FUCKING BRADBURY!!!
  • What’s  a relatively new is Silk F’s addition of ancient Greece to the conspiracy soup by mentioning the off set configuration of “Hades” which was the Ancient Greek’s version of hell.
  • Demons utilize 4 worlds, but oh I dunno What the fuck are the names of these supposed 4 worlds? Where are these 4 worlds located? Funny that a times there is so much detail I get fucking lost, yet at other times Silk F is vague as fuck with all absence of said details.
  • Silke F mentions “Parasites that take life” again WHAT parasites? the 5 w’s are  Who, what, when, where, and why Silke F I suggest YOU FUCKING USE THEM.
  • According to Silk F plants have what they refer to as “Low Etherial Awareness” which sound like a rebranding of L. Ron Hubbard’s (the founder of Scientology so that says a lot) belief and experimentation with the plants perceived ability to feel like a human, and could crudely communicate with elects of it’s surroundings. By the way its important to remind the reader L. Ron Hubbard was a failed sci fi writer before inventing scientology. I suppose then that fact explains a good bit about the bizarre cult like aspects of scientology.

                   

  • Further more Silke F claims that there is a telepathy (communicating using only your mind) with plants. Couple thoughts here one being why plants? No offense to plants but their pretty fucking basic. Why isn’t this alleged telepathy exist with significantly higher fucking life forms on Earth such as Dolphins, Elephants, Pigs, Rats, particular species of birds, even  insects or how about other people because that be fucking awesome( IF it was actually fucking real which it obviously doesn’t).
  • Also on the subject of plants Silke F makes the claim plants can (I guess that’s if they fucking feel like it) act as translators for the Sun. So now the sun is a living life form that has cognitive thought, advanced problem solving skills, and can speak its own “sun language” specifically to fucking plants. If the sun was as Silke F claims why the fuck would it an advanced life form choose such a fucking inferior life form as a translator?!
  • The reason plants can communicate with the sun is because of the “Einstein-Rose Bridge” which again sounds cool but is fake as fuck. All I’m saying is I have never come across this “Einstein-Rose Bridge” (which is supposedly a Vortex) in ANY of Einsteins well documented work. It’s pretty safe to assume Einstein’s name was used to provide some sort of bullshit legitimacy to a non sensical concept.
  • Here we go with the ever present problem with content like this there are glaring contradictions. After explaining the “Einstein-Rose Bridge” bullshit Silke F follows it with the claim that it’s NOT a Vortex but a Wormhole. Either way it’s total crap, but at least keep your fucking story straight.

  • WTF would constitute a “natural ghost”? Are they ghosts of animals, insects, plants, river, reptiles (NOT to be confused with reptilians) flowers, and tree etc.? Also what would constitute a Unnatural Ghost the ghost of a building or some shit?
  • Then there a part of the comment that’s confusing, but this is what I managed to conclude from it. Dimensional gates can share, modify, upload, and download you GHSV (g-host shell vortex. So I assume this hypothesis if you can call it that works on the same principles as the fucking cloud.
  • The next part i s just as indecipherable for the most part, and again here’s what I devised from it. Everything is a filter/receiver/simulated algorithms of “Host Shells” which I gather from Silke F’s comment is a reference to our physical forms.
  • Then there is something about how identity is script of occult algorithms an example of one would be the fucking queen of England who Silk F claims is an algorithm. Then immediately following that statement Silk F contradicts themselves once again stating now the queen of England is a small translator for a big Draconian Authority Empire. I have’t a fucking clue on which to speculate what the fuck the Draconian Authority Empire is, and surprise surprise Silk F doesn’t elaborate on the subject of this Draconian Authority Empire.

  • Silk F does mention the Draconian Empire, and yeah I don’t know what happened to the Authority part? Are there 2 separate Draconian Empires one WITH authority and one WITHOUT?! Anyway Silk F says higher authorities (citing the Draconian Empire as an example)of technology was created to design a closed universe with a fire wall? Would that be a firewall like as in computer security or an actual wall of fucking fire because it could be either in this case.
  • Apparently according to Silke F the end of the universe is a memory removement trap technology used to erase souls and memories of multiple incarnations. This is actually interesting as Silk F is referring I believe to the Buddhist belief of reincarnation where a soul is reborn in various forms until they reach nirvana. This is interesting because 99.9% of this kind of delusional horseshit revolves around Christian fanaticism of an apocalyptic  evangelical doctrine or some extreme dooms day scenario.
  • After that Silk F blathers on about an interface firewall. Is that mean the firewall IS similar to a computer firewall or does this actual wall of fire have an interface? Again it could be either or in a situation when it comes to this kind of madness.

                   

  • Silk F comments next something to do with Synthetic Suns which being synthetic are artificial and thus must be manufactured/built by someone or something. Could it have been build by the cyborgs of that Silke F shares DNA with or was it something like aliens? You know what I’m going to say next which is Silk F AGAIN does NOT explain the synthetic sun scenario. No surprise there folks.
  • According to Silke F the universe (I assume Silk F means our universe, but it isn’t specified even though space is fucking infinite) is compressed in some fashion so nothing can enter or exit from it. This made me thing of the fucking blob fish which has NO bones because it lives miles under the ocean surface. Living under the ungodly pressure of such deep depths if the blob fish had bones they’d be fucking pulverized, and so the blob fish uses the extreme deep sea pressure to hold the form of its body together instead of a skeleton. That’s why when in rare occasions blob fish are caught by accident then seem to melt into well a blob.
  • Continuing Silk F informs us the outer areas of space that are outside of OUR universe is full of technology. This technology is able to design the/an inside universe that would constitute OUR universe. This reminds me of fucking role playing games like Sim City or some shit. Not to mention who developed this fucking advanced universe technology, and who the fuck is using it? Inter dimensional beings, evil aliens, god(s), the Draconian empire?  Alas Silk F. didn’t explain or elaborate further on the subject, and again NO big surprise there.

                   

  • Due to this closed universe scenario Pleiadian (whoever the fuck they are), people, and other species are slaves to those who control the outer worlds area. Funny but yet again Silk F fails to explain who these outer world beings are or what they are.This is EXACTLY why I refer to Silke F’s comment as a lengthy rant of babbling non sense since key fucking factors are totally ignored.
  • Silk F then these 4 unknown worlds that ONLY demonic and ethereal life forms can use to escape from the inside universe on a physical level. I guess demons have unlimited use of their physical form, and here is some of the crackpot Christianity concepts I mentioned earlier. I don’t know when demons managed to take time off from working in hell for the goddamn devil to go gallivanting around the depths of space but whatever.
  • Then comes a tricky part, and here’s all the sense I could make of it. There NO different species only “CAOHR” (converter algorithms of host reality) used for simulated and non simulated evolutions. This sounds like some real UFO advanced alien society evolutionary experimentation bullshit akin to the concept of a/the god(s). I mean that as in there is a force far greater and far more intelligent than humanity that tends to or controls it along with the entire fucking planet.

  • Then there is the ONLY part of Silke F’s diatribe I genuinely like. It’s when Silk F states that every individual cell in your body is a universe that builds your own personal multiverse. Holy sheep shit batman that actually is a cool concept stranded in a sea of insanity.
  • Life’s timeline according to Silk F are micro realities you choose or design to operate outside the physical laws. I guess this is something like Astral Projection where allegedly people while sleeping or meditating Spirit/Soul can leave the body and travel expansively around the world and space. This is some REAL new age hippy shit I’m talking fucking crystals and all that white light kind of crap.
  • WTF is multidimensional magick? That’s like what a space wizard or inter planetary witch or is it the planet hopping demons practicing multidimensional magick ,or is it just some cheap parlor tricks alien magicians do a alien kid’s birthday parties?
  • Thank fuck this time around Silke F was nice enough to define Quantum magick as you can decode your expression (facial?) into language that the universe can translate into energy. What fucking purpose does/can this serve I’m guessing NONE it just sounds like some shit found in sci fi.

                   

  • WTF is a Blackhole Virus, where does it come from, and can it be cured? Is it sexually transmitted space STD that affects the alien life forms/Draconian Empire. Can blackholes catch AIDS or some weird shit like that? Too bad I don’t know a Astrological Medical Physician and theoretical physicist to help me understand space viruses, and answer my question of can astronauts catch this blackhole virus, and if they can it sounds like it infect the astronaut’s asshole.
  • Apparently people to have their own personal energy vortex that allows you to consume energy through inter dimensional encoding. I guess aliens double as an intergalactic I.T. department or in some sort of computer programmer capacity. Maybe they know how the fuck the iCloud works, but I doubt even they could since even Apple doesn’t know how it works exactly.
  • Then there this bit about how fucking gravity is translating the reality of absorbed divergences whatever the fuck that’s about. It sounds all scientific and intelligent, but even a well dressed turd is still a turd under the clothes.
  • From there Silk F informs us the universe is a mathematical parasite which sounds like some school kids excuse for not doing their fucking math homework (“Oh I couldn’t do the assignment because I have a mathematical parasite and have to go to the doctor.”). That and when did our universe become a math based parasite anyway??

         

  • There is some more Buddhist based content referring to “incarnation cycles” which again sound cool, but it’s just the term used for the concept of reincarnation. Buddhist believe you will continue to be reincarnated until you have learned the knowledge needed and behaved/acted accordingly  needed to enter the state of nirvana.
  • Silke F mentions that there is such a thing as organic time as well as inorganic time. I think I fucking got this one! Organic time is like the transition from day to night and season to season. Meanwhile organic time is the man made concept of time using a clock to break time down all the way into milliseconds.
  • Then there’s the DFU or double figure universe which Silk F equates to the mythological snake that’s self cannibalizing by swallowing itself tail first. This metaphor is meant to help explain the so called  concept of open quantum gates consuming closed quantum gates. Once again there is a total fucking lack of context or elaboration on these quantum gates so who know why Silke F mentioned them it just seems totally fucking random.
  • Entropy is ALSO a parasite so I assume its BBF’s with the universe sine both are parasites as far a Silk F is concerned.

  • Then comes more unexplained drivel about white cube which is a light vortex that is younger black cube which as you can imagine is made up of dark matter. That’s right Silke F is really letting her absurd amateur physicist fucking wild.
  • Silk F then launches into some shenanigans about ghost shell matrix AI simulated QBS or quantum generated systems which again is a whole bunch of brainy sounding scientific talk that is in fact total fucking verbal diarrhea.
  • Next up are what Silke F calls TQSS (Tree quantum set up script) inside the multidimensional pyramid of quantum gates sequences. That right there is some intense hardcore sci fi or more commonly referred to as hard sci fi. I mean seriously Dr. Who eat your fucking limey heart out.
  • FINALLY  AT LAST we reach the end of this tirade of idiocy.  Silke F uses the CLASSIC batshit conspiracy excuse for why NO ONE believes a single fucking word they say. First Silke F reenforces her initial statement that they are an ACTUAL reptilian shapeshifter (HEY wtf happened to the cyborgenetic DNA?!), and that humanity isn’t nearly advanced enough to understand what Silke F has been telling us. This raises the question of why waste the time writing a comment that the intended recipient of WON’T fucking understand. That’s like me getting pissed at my brother and sending him an angry email in Japanese (that he simple couldn’t/wouldn’t understand since he doesn’t speak Japanese). Anyways thats the standard reply to any criticism that simply because you/humanity aren’t intelligent enough to understand. Let me assure you it takes absolutely NO SMARTS whatsoever to sit down and write a lengthy absurdly asinine comment full of ridiculous fuckery of all kinds.

IN conclusion if Silke F’s intended purpose was to convince/prove to Goose Boose (and the Internet as a whole) that they weren’t LUNATICS well then their comment failed to disprove that theory.

I’ll see you when I see you,

   Justin Sane  

ALIENS PUT BABY IN A MICROWAVE [an alien claymation]

Dad invites Aliens into His Home for a “Cuppa”, and gives the Alien Visitors a Brief Tour of His House. After One of the Aliens grabs the Man’s Baby and sticks it in the Microwave The Man Rescues the Baby from the Confines of the Microwave, and this  leads to a Game of Keep Away between the Various Aliens and The Man. Enraged by the Alien Bullshit the Man starts Kicking the Holy Hell Out of the Aliens outside of the House using Martial Arts.

The Man then runs into His House and Retrieves an M-16 Military Rifle, and Starts filling the Asshole Aliens Full of fucking Lead like there’s No Tomorrow. The Man finds an Alien in the Bedroom who has possession of the Baby who is Now stuck in the Microwave Once Again. The Man Brutally Butchers the Alien with a Machete hacking it into Bloody Pieces before and Rescuing the Baby.

            

Unfortunately for the Man and His Baby the Alien Attack isn’t Over as a Giant Alien (Possibly the Leader) arrives Outside, and Immediately Starts trying to Grab the Man and Baby through the Windows. The Man snatches up the Machete and Severs the Giant Aliens Hand causing it to Collapse. The Man runs downstairs and Grabs His Gun, but the M-16 is Either needs to be Reloaded or it Simply Jammed after being Bathed in Alien Blood. The Man in a Moment of Panic throws a Shit Filled Diaper at the Giant Injured Alien sousing it to Vomit Profusely.

The Man is sept into the Hallway by the Barrage of Alien Barf where He locates a Power Tool with a Large Rotating Blade (like a Helicopter Propeller). The man then marches Outside and uses the Power Tool to Liquidate the Giant Aliens Head. A Moment later His Wife returns from Shopping and the Man explains exactly what the fuck Happened to which His Wife Simply Replies “AGAIN?”

           

ALIENS PUT BABY IN THE MICROWAVE [an alien claymation] Cast:

  • Music by Dave Andrews
  • Audo By Tim Atkins
  • Voices By Jordan Ramoth
  • Everything Else by Lee Hardcastle

Thanks for Watching,

  Presented By Les Sober

Theres’s a Reason Monday’s have a Shitty Rep.

They say “Mondays are Mondays for a Reason”, and I’m pretty sure the Reason is that the People who Say that are Assholes. That aside what a hell of a Monday this one was and I’m not Joking. It all started When Our Cat ate Our Dog and I had to rush it to the Vet post haste. I hoped the Vet could give the Cat an injection of some Super Laxative allowing the Cat to shit out the Dog thus saving Both Their Lives. As I’m wheeling the Cat to the Car My since the Cat is Your average 8 pound House Cat, and the Dog was a Full Blooded Rottweiler thus creating a serious Spacial Issue for said Cat. The next thing I know My Sister blindsides Me out No Where with My Nephew in tow who looks like He’s had too much Sugar and not enough Sleep.

I agreed to what My Nephew but since My car was in the Shop I had to Borrow My Wife’s Miata which only seats 2. I tossed the Cat into the Passengers seat, grabbed My Nephew and Some Old School Bungie Cords (the kind they made so you could strap Excess Luggage to the Roof of Your Vehicle) without breaking stride. I then proceeded to Tie My Nephew to the Hood of the Car like Hunters do with Deer they’ve Killed with a quickness. My Nephew began to pitch a fucking fit so I simply told Him “You always wanted to go to Disney World so THUNDER MOUNTAIN UP BITCH!”, and with that We were off and running.

           

I called the Vet from the Car and asked if a Vet Tech could meet Me outside to assist Me and the Vet Office assured Me it be No Problem. So once I got to the Vet Clinic I slowed Down, leaned over and opened the Passenger Side Door, Yelled “TUCK AND ROLL MR. FRITZ!”, and shoved the Cat out of the Car. Luckily cats always land on their Feet so Mr. Fritz was fine. The next stop was My mechanic’s Shop to check on the Progress of My Car Repair. My Mechanic said He was waiting on a part so it might be another day or two, and  so I asked Him if in the meantime if he could do Me a favor and Rotate My Back Molars for Me. He promptly declined right there on the spot claiming He couldn’t because He wasn’t a Dentist to which I said I didn’t care as I’m not a Dentist Either so?! Before My Mechanic could counter My Point He spontaneously Combusted which I am convinced was not Spontaneous in the Least. I believe He “Spontaneously” Combusted because He damn well knew He was going to loose the Argument.

As I was leaving My Mechanic My Nephew still mad about being strapped to the Hood like a Dead Deer had Himself a good Old Tantrum, and turned Himself inside out. Obviously I can’t take Him anywhere in that condition, but the little Brat that He is down right Refused to turn Himself Outside In. I don’t negotiate with Terrorists or Children so I put Him in a Duffle Bag because lets face it if your inside out there is a High Risk of Potential Staining, and Blood/Bodily Fluids are a real motherfucker to get out.

           

While on My way to My car I ended up walking behind to very Stern Looking Men in Expensive Three Piece Suits, and I happened to overhear some of Their Conversation. The Two Men were lamenting How Louie’s Mother made the Best Sauce (Marinara) either of the had ever Tasted, but since Louie fucked up They had to kill Him and His Mother. The fact that They were sent to Kill Louie didn’t seem to bother them in the Least. It was the Inevitable Murder of the Mother who made such a Legendary Sauce that was what They felt was the True Tragedy at Hand.

Along the Way I also saw a Drunk Homeless Man Cannibalizing Himself like a Deranged Snake. Thats to say He was attempting to swallow Himself Whole and had managed to ingest Both Legs up to the Knee. I was absolutely fascinated by the Homeless Man bizarrely abnormal Behavior so I stopped to watch for a while. Half an Hour later He had swallowed Himself Half way and was struggling to get past His Waist, BUT if there is a will there is a way as they say. Eventually the Homeless Man made it all the way up to His Neck and then He asked Me to Pull his Lower lip over His head. Seeing no reason not to I assisted the Man with His Request. Once His lower Lip was fully engulfing His head the Homeless Man took a deep breath and swallowed Himself out of Existence. It was was like watching a Manual Implosion it was fucking Crazy.

            

My Phone rang and it was the Vet’s Office informing Me they had Successfully induced  Vomiting, and Mr Fritz had puked the Dog up and Out Safely. Both the Mr. Fritz and the Dog were exhausted by the whole ordeal and were currently asleep. I said that’s great to hear and that when They’re all good to go to call them a Uber for Me because I was too busy to double back to that side of town Now. Especially when My Nephew was still inside out and all.  I pulled up to a light and while waiting for it to change I little Old lady who looked to be in her 90’s started to cross the street.

The Person in front of Me at the light accidentally elbowed Their Horn while reaching around behind them in the backseat. The Little Old Lady who thought the Driver was being Rude or an Asshole stopped Dead in Her tracks and stared motionless at the Driver for a few Uneasy Moments. She then Loudly announced to the World “I don’t have to take THAT shit, when I can Take THIS shit!” and then jumped up on to the Hood of the Offending Driver’s Car. Once She was perched on the Hood She took a Clydesdale Sized Rage Shit. The Driver started to angrily get out of their Car when the Little Old Lady when the Little Old Lady blurted out “Your an Asshole and I’m the Shit!” It looked liken actual Shit Guesser erupted from Her withered Old Ass as She shit Herself into Space.

   

After seeing something as Appallingly both Revolting and Awe Inspiring event as a Little Old Lady Shitting Herself (well Sharting would be more like it) into the Deepest and Darkest Depths of Space I went directly Home. Once I arrived Home I slapped a shipping Label on the Duffle Bag containing My Inside Out Nephew that said “Please Return to Owner.” See the thing is I had taken the Duffle Bag out of the Lost and Found at the Airport when I was in a pinch. I figured since there was a Tag on it I would just return it directly to the Owner once I need for it was done. I then called an Uber to take the Duffle Bag to the Airport on My Behalf, and spent the remainder of the Day wondering where the Little Pain in My Ass would End Up.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober