penguins – f-your blog

When Trump gets His Fat Orange Ass Booted from the Whitehouse What will Happen to all His Shitbag Supporters? This is a Question I have been Mulling Over in My head for Quite some time Now. It’s like Germany at the End of World War II Once The War was Over, The Nazis Lost, and Hitler was Dead the German Public had to deal with the Left Over Nazi Soilders. The Nazis were such Pieces of fucking Shit that it didn’t seem right to just let them Reintegrate back into Society and call it a Day. People that are that fucked in the Head, and are the Scum of the Earth need Consequences for Their fucked up Actions. The World Dictates some sort of Retribution is Required in Extreme Cases such as These.

Let’s fucking face it MAGAs are Worse than fucking Nazi Scumbags. Nazi’s wanted to Use Genocide to Illuminate Jewish People from the Planet, and to Take over the Entire fucking Earth. MAGAs are Racist Ratfucks but They are also Sexist, Antisemitic, Homophobic, Ignorant, Hate filled, Mindless, Uneducated, Moronic, Inbred, Gullible, Child Molesting, Rapist White Trash Sheep the Absolute Worst Humanity has to Offer. These People bring Nothing Positive or Productive to the Table their Not Leaders Their Mindless Lemmings Born to Blindly Follow without Question. So when The Treasonous Orange Asshole and His Crooked Administration of Utter Assholes time in the Whitehouse is Inevitably Up They will be Subject to Arrest, Prosecution, Conviction, and Imprisonment for Their Crimes the Cowardly Traitors. The Fact Remains though We can’t lock up all the MAGAssholes (though We all want To) there simply too many of the Dumbfucks to Deal with.

So What do We do with all the Left Over MAGAssholes Then? Well I just so Happens to have the Perfect Solution for Handling these Pro Trump Dipshits. True We can’t Imprison Them all, and it’s Less than Likely that We would be Granted Permission to Kill the Sons Of Inbred Bitches on Sight which is a Shame as I think a MAGA Hunting Season would be Splendid. Now that We have established We can’t Lock them Up or Hunt Them for Sport what Option(s) do We have Left on the Table? The Answer My friends is DEPORTATION! That’s right Deporting MAGAs would be Hilarious as Hell since the Racist RatBastard Rejects want to Deport all the Immigrants so Deporting Them is Poetic Justice Personified.

Now thats just the beginning because once We have Decided to Outsource These MAGAssholes where do We Deport Them to Exactly? It is a Very Tricky and Rather Difficult Situation because Who in Their right fucking Mind would Allow Us to Deport MAGAs to Their Country. Absolutely No One I can fucking think of Thats for Sure and You Can’t Blame Them. The Rest of the World has Watched America Slide Down the Shitter (thanks to Fucktard Trump and the GOPieces of Shit) for the Past 4 Years. They have also witnessed How Shitty MAGAs are so Why would They want/allow the MAGAssholes coming to take up Residence in Their Beloved Homeland? MAGAs are Human Parasites that do Nothing but Take Up Space, Waste Air, and Shit All Over Everything while Providing Nothing Beneficial to Society or the World Around Them. They are Human TapeWorms and Should be Dealt with as Such in that Parasites should be Eradicated No Matter What.

So Thus We are stuck with the Geographical Dilemma facing the Deportation of Any and All MAGAssholes. Fear Not Friends for I have Figured out the Solution to the Geography Conundrum and its Quite Simply and Extremely Easy to Execute. We Deport the MAGAssholes to the Continent of ANTARCTICA! Yes thats goddamn right I said ANT-fucking-ARCTICA. I’m pretty positive that You’re wonder Why Antarctica which is a Valid Question so Allow Me to Answer. First of Size Wise it got more than Enough Room (5,500,000 Square Miles Antarctica is the 5th Largest Continent and Twice the Size of Australia) for the Millions of MAGAssholes to live with Plenty of Elbow room. Second Antartica is One of if Not the Whitest Places on the Entire Planet so the Racist Nazi White Nationalist MAGAs would fucking love that shit.

Also there is No actual Population already Living in Antarctica to Deny the Entrance of the MAGAsshole Mother Load. There Approximately 1,000 Scientific Researchers Stations in the Winter, and about 5,ooo in Summer, giving it a Population Density of between 70 and 350 inhabitants per Million Square Kilometers (180 and 900 per Million Square Miles). Point being there’s Plenty of Room where the MAGAsshole can hangout that wouldn’t be a Bother or Imposition to the Various Countries Scientific Researchers.

Also there is No Established Government, Infrastructure, Military, or Government Agencies to Contend with. It is True though that Several Countries (such as France, Russia, United Kingdom, Australia, Norway, Chile,Argentina, and New Zealand for Example) claim Sovereignty in Certain Regions. While Very Few of these Countries have Mutually Recognized Each Other’s Claims, the Validity of these Claims in Not Recognized Universally. Antartica’s Status is Regulated by the 1959 Antarctic Treaty and Other Related Agreements, collectively called the Antarctic Treaty System.

Many People at this Point would Ask about all the Insane and Expensive Resources that would be needed for People to Survive in the Brutal Antarctic Frozen Wasteland (I mean Antarctica is the Coldest Continent on Earth with Temperatures going as lows between negative 112 degrees Farenhight and Negative 128 degrees Farenhieght). Also there are Virtually No Resources for Shelter or Food be it Hunting, Gathering, or Farming) which makes it one of the Most Inhospitable Places on the Planet. The Largest fucking Animal in Antarctica is a Wingless Midge (Belgica Antarctica) which is Less than 1.3 cm Long for Fucks Sake, it’s a Minuscule Insect. All Other Larger Animals are Considered Marine Animals, meaning that They Feed and Lively Mainly in the Ocean and includes Seals and Penguins. There are No Trees or Shrubs in Antarctica, and only Two Species of Flowering Plants Antarctic Hair Grass and Antarctic Pearlwort. The Bottomline is Antarctica Doesn’t have a Permanent Population for a fucking Reasons.

As Far as Resources or Monetary Budget I Again have an Answer for that which is WHO FUCKING CARES?!!

These MAGAssholes Don’t Deserve Any Outside Help to Possible manage to Survive in the Desolate and Frigid Antarctic Climate. Remember I said Deport Them Not Support Them. We let Them Pack whatever the fuck They want and Then We deport Them without any Assistance Programs in Place whatsoever. I mean Why waste Money on Such fucking Shitty People when You can Deport Them and Let Antarctica Resolve the Problem so to Speak. Let Them Freeze, Let Them Starve, and Let Them Die of Sickness its what MAGAssholes Deserve. If We can’t Kill Them Off Let Mother Nature handle it For Us. Point Being the Only Good MAGAsshole is a DEAD MAGAsshole.

Thanks For Reading,

By Les Sober

(Pt100Am)

So it all Started when I was Driving to the Gadget Store to pick Up a New Tomato Polisher to give to My Wife for Our 57th Wedding Anniversary. Out of fucking No Where a Naked Guy Higher than God on BathSalts Leapt into the Middle of the Road trying to Eat His Own Face. He had already Consumed His Lips and was Futilely trying to Shove the Rest of His Face into His Mouth.

I sweared like a son of a bitch and Accidentally Drove of the Road to Avoid turning the Man into a Human Meat Sack. As My Car charged Head First Down a the Stereo embankment Zigging and Zagging through the Bumper Car Course from Hell. At Last My Car came to a Abrupt Stop after the Wheels got Entangled in Under Brush.

I exited My Car and Started to Treck through the Dense Woods in Search of Civilization. As I strolled along I heard a particularly Strange and some what Disturbing Sound. It sounded Like a Rabid Wounded Grizzly Bear, and its Prey had fallen Head First into a Giant ass Blender. Curious I wondered towards the Unknown Noise until I reached a Near by Clearing in the Woods. There I laid Eyes on One of the Greatest Abominations I have ever born Witness too.

There is that Clearing was Only what I can Assume was Bigfoot who looked Nothing really like the Stereotypically Depiction of what Bigfoot is thought to look like. This Humanoid Creature was in deed HUGH standing around 8 Feet Tall, weighted approximately 400 plus Pounds, and was in need of some Serious Industrial Manscaping (Due to the fact this Creature had Excessive amounts of Body Hair I could see Why Some People Mistook the Body Hair for actual Fur). The Bigfoot though had the Physical Characteristics not of an Ape, but much more like that of a Neanderthal Caveman with a Sloped Head with a Pronounced Brow.

The Bigfoot like Creature was engaged in a Rowdily fucking a Large Brown Bear, or Perhaps It was Raping It I’m not too sure. I’m not sure because I have No fucking Clue what a Fully Grown Adult Brown Bear or a Suspected Bigfoot sound like while having Sex. All I’m saying is when Cats Fight or Fuck it sounds the Same which is as if They were being Skinned Alive.

Not wanting to be Spotted and running the Risk of Being Killed or Worse Dragged into This Interspecial Clusterfuck. So I took off as Fast as My Legs could carry Me. After a Few Minutes of Running through the Woods I came across a Small Zoo on the Boarder of the Woods and a Rather Large Looking Town. I made my way to the Front Gate only to find it Chained Shut with a sign hanging on it that read “Closed for Mating Season”.

I figured even if the Zoo wasn’t currently Open to the Public there still has to be a handful of Staff on the Premises to Clean, Feed, and Tend to the Care of the Zoo;s Animal Population. I scaled the Fence and let Myself In. As I explored the Zoo I gravitated over to the Penguin Enclosure since I personally think Penguins are Dope as Fuck. I still had yet to locate a Staff Member and decided since I was already in the Zoo I may as well Treat Myself to a Round of Penguin Spotting.

I entered the Building that Housed the Penguin Enclosure and started to Look Around. As I was staring at a Colony of Emperor Penguins I became aware that for a Building Housing Penguins this One was Rather Warm, Yet the Snow/Ice in the Enclosure(s) was Melting in spite of the Above Average South Pole/North Pole / Arctic Temperatures. I simply Couldn’t get My head around it defied Science. I figured something had gone wrong technically maybe the Cooling System had Broken Down or was About or To something to that effect.

I searched around until I located the Access Door that lead Directly into the Actual Penguin Enclosure and once again let Myself in. As soon as I set foot into the Enclosure a Malicious Penguin Slide Tackled Me, and in Response I fell flat on My face in a Big Old Snow Bank. Just then a Second Penguin landed on My back knocking the Wind Out of Me. As I tried to Stand Breathing in Heavily in an attempt to Catch My Breath I inhaled a large Portion of the Snow Bank. Once I got to My Feet I realized this Snow was gritty like Sand, and no where Near Cold as it seemed to be Room Temperature.

A Second or Two later I felt a Rush of Energy that felt like NASA had Launched a Rocket up My Ass. I could hear My Hair Growing and there was a Low constant Humming in My Ears. I then became insanely aware of My Surroundings and started to become intensely Paranoid. I thought to Myself that perhaps this is what it was like to Loose One’s Mind as My Heart was Booming a Death Metal Band’s Bass Drum. I scrambled Frantically out of the Enclosure and bolted out of The Penguin House in Haste.

Once outside again I freaked the fuck Out as I became Overwhelmed by the Situation and remembered I was in fact Trespassing after Breaking an Entering. I knew I had to get the hell out of the Zoo no matter what before I got Arrested for My Illegal Shenanigans. I started sprinting from Building to Building, Enclosure to Enclosure trying to find a Posted Map of the Zoo’s Layout.

Before I found One The Zoo was inundated with Militant DEA Agents wearing Bullet Proof Vests, Guns Drawn, and Their Badges swinging wildly around Their Necks from cheap Chains. I was apprehended immediately and taken into Custody. Luckily I managed to inform the Agents I wasn’t a Zoo Employee which They then Verified. They uncured Me and told Me to Remain where I was until instructed Further as I had already gotten in the Way of Their Drug Raid.

It turned out that the Zoo wasn’t closed for Mating Season as the sign stated, but it was Closed for Drug Smuggling. As it turned Out the Employees of the Zoo had a MASSIVE Meth Lab in the Basement of the Penguin House. As They Manufactured Kilo after Kilo of High Grade Crystal Meth the Hid it in Plain Sight by Masking Their Meth as Actual Snow.

In the End 37 Zoo Employees were Arrested in the Raid and the DEA Confiscated over 2 Tons of Amassed Crystal Meth making it the Biggest Meth Bust bu the DEA in Meth History.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

Tag: penguins

So It All Started When………