Tag: personal finances

IRS Assholes At Work

The IRS is a fucking Scam that must have the American Forefathers rolling over in Their Graves. This fucking Country was founded on several Democratic Principals one of which was NO TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION. Eventually the American Government has become so Hypocritical and Corrupt as fuck.

I have no issue paying Taxes if the MONEY GOES to what its Appropriated for like Education or Infrastructure, BUT as always in Politics the Money goes to whatever fucking bullshit the GOVERNMENT deems appropriate regardless of how the Tax Payers fell or think about it.

The IRS is the embodiment of Taxation without Representation as They were created to do one thing and one thing Only Collect Taxes like Sales Tax, Income Tax, Property Tax, and even a fucking DEATH TAX. Yes that’s right when You die the Government will attempt to help themselves to HALF of ALL Your Financial Worth at the Time of Death. One last massive Tax  to send You on Your way into the Afterlife. I only say attempt because if You don’t insulate Your investments then Yes the Government will take HALF. It’s a fucking Tax for DYING. Since when was Death Taxable seriously what the fuck?!

       

Now as You might Image as a Governmental Agency with One Job to Collect ALL TAXES No Matter What that over the Years (and combined with Politicians growing GREED) the IRS set Out to Collect as Much Money as They Possibly could. So with the help of the fucking Politicians the IRS as become one Serious Motherfucker since The Government can change the fucking Rules whenever They fucking want. SO one the DECADES the IRS has had added Additional Laws, Rules, Regulations, and Protocols all designed to let Them STEAL MORE AND MORE OF YOUR FUCKING MONEY.

A PRIME Example of such Legislative Rape is Something I am Personally have been Dealing with Every fucking Year for Several Years now, and will have to continue to Deal with over the up coming Years where the Scales will be Tipped farther and farther in the IRS’s fucking Corrupt Favor.

Now there is a LITTLE Good News is a Group of Legal and Financial experts at some point in Time Managed to Institute TAX FREE ACCOUNTS. I think it’s one of if not the Greatest Financial Creations in American History. I mean TAX FREE Accounts are Designed to FUCK THE GOVERNMENT OUT OF EVEN A SINGLE FUCKING DIME of Your Money. Unfortunately TAX FREE Accounts are Hard and Maintain due to the Fact the IRS Obviously LOATHS TAX FREE Accounts because of that Fact.

       

With the Corrupt UnAmerican IRS Inventing More and More Creative ways to get Their filthy fucking Hands on Your Money No Matter What which is what They were Designed to do. So it’s NO Surprise one of the IRS’s Key Targets was to Find a way to BLEED TAX FREE ACCOUNTS DRY in spite of the Restrictions set in place to PROTECT CITIZENS FROM FINANCIAL PREDATORS LIKE THE GODDAMN IRS.

I just so happen to have Money tied up in a TAX FREE Account which You think would Delight Me, and to an extent it does. The problem is the cocksucking IRS devised a way to Tax Me None the Less. The IRS Implemented MANDATORY YEARLY WITHDRAWALS which means You HAVE to take whatever Amount the fucking IRS tells EVERY YEAR. This way the IRS can TAX IT  Even thought You DON’T WANT TO WITHDRAW JACK DIDDLY SHIT.

It DOESN’T End There it gets even MORE fucking Criminal. I got a call from My Financial Money Men’s Office letting Me know its time for the Bullshit Mandatory IRS Withdrawal, AND it INCREASED BY 1/3 from Last Year. When I asked Why the amount Increased I was simply told the Following. The fucking IRS realized Not only can They FORCE You to withdraw Money so They can Tax it, BUT They can Increase the Yearly Withdrawal. That Way The can Tax You even MORE every fucking Year of Your Life Until the TAX FREE Account is Completely Drained. Now the IRS doesn’t want to put You in the Poor House since Poor People turn Only a Small Profit They just simply want You to MOVE your Money into an Account They can TAX at Will.

       

In The End a Country Founded on the Principle of Taxation without Representation Created the IRS who’s Existence is based on  TAX ING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU FOR AS MUCH AS FUCKING POSSIBLE EVEN WHEN YOU FUCKING DIE.

Land of the Free? FUCK THAT.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober (12:13 am)

So The Other Night Like An Asshole………

So the Other Night I My Wife and I went out to Dinner with a Couple of Friends and Associates. We ended up in the City at some Upscale sort of Trendy place named after a fucking Flower. It wasn’t a Michelin Star restaurant Owned by some Pretentious fucking Chef, but it Definitely did have that air of a Fine Dinning Restaurant to it.

The Food was Fine nothing Spectacular, Yet quite Tasty indeed. When the Check came I decided on a Whim like an asshole to Pick Up he Check. Without looking at the Bill I went for My Wallet, and extracted a Credit Card thus crossing the Point of No Return, That’s due to the fact that Everyone at that point had seen Me go for the Check and All so now at this point They all assumed (as would have I) that I was paying the Bill Period End of Story.

     

I finally after backing Myself into a Financial Corner I looked at the Check to see the Total which was around $400 including Tip (and to be fare there was a GREAT Deal of Drinking Involved as Many a Cocktail met Their demise thanks to Our Throats), and immediately had what the professionals would refer to as “Buyers Remorse”. Well aware I had stuck Myself with the fucking Check, and took a minute to Compose Myself.

I called the fucking Waiter over and He came bounding over like a Peppy Cheerleader fucked a Gazelle, and Our Server was the Bastard Offspring of an Inter-special Fuckfest. As I tried not to fucking go blind thanks to Our Servers insanely White Shirt that there was in fact a Problem with Our Bill. He pleasantly asked what the Problem a tad Condescendingly. That was NOT a Smart thing To Do.

   

I decide right then and there that I have fucking had it, and the last fucking thing I need is some Pretentious Shit Stain of a Server working at a Pompous and Over Rated Restaurant giving Me a fucking Attitude. I then told Him I believe the Mistake was that He didn’t bring out Our Entrees to Suck Us Off delivering The World’s Finest Blow Jobs.

I then informed Him that if He was going to fuck Me He could at least have the fucking common goddamn decency to bring a Tube of Lube to the Table along with the motherfucking Check. I let Him know that if I was aware of what the Bill might have been I would have had a lot More to fucking Drink to Soften the fucking Blow thats for fucking sure.

     

ALSO considering a Chunk of the rather Hefty Bill belonged to the Server via His Tip I then suggested perhaps in fact He should Blow All of Us or at Least a Round of Hand Jobs because after this fucking Fiasco We could all use a fucking Happy Ending.

Just had to get that Out of My Head.

Thank for Reading,

  By Les Sober

Not Totally Off The Record

Well it’s been a Year and a fucking Half and,I still have a few Medical Bills I have to get sorted out which is No Big Deal really it just takes some time. As I said before TIME TAKES TIME.

So Monday Night I went to My Local Bar to meet up with My Brother, SpaceDog, and some Mutual Friends for a couple of Drinks. Once We all had arrived We ordered a Couple of Pitchers of Beer and started to Shoot the Shit and Blow off some Steam.

Unbeknownst to Me My Brother had made up His mind to Record Me (Using His fucking Cell Phone at that) when He thinks I’m saying something with Some Sort of fucking Value. What that May or May Not be is left up to His discretion.

       

I can’t be Mad about it in the Least. I constantly tell Myself I should utilize Voice Memos on My Phone to Record ideas as I go on through out My Day. I’m not always near My Laptop (I’m not one of those Assclowns that walk around all fucking Day with Their Laptop tucked under tTheir Arm or in some shitty bag slung over Their shitty shoulder.).

Also there is NEVER a fucking Pen and Paper when You Need it, but thats alright I end up writing shit down on whatever is handy and then promptly loose Them. Cell Phones aren’t always Sufficient and can be Temperamental twats.

So really He’s doing it on My Behalf. This is a Excerpt from what He recorded That Evening. NOTHING has been Added, Deleted, or Embellished. I like this recording because it showcases both sides of My Personality. On one Hand You have the Decent Guy with a Big Heart. On the Other Hand there’s the Sarcastic, Pessimistic, Shit Talking, Opinionated, Rude, Brutally Honest, Anti-Authority, and Offensive Foul Mouthed Asshole.

       

“You, I feel bad ok there two Schools of Thought. You feel bad because I’m not a complete asshole so I feel bad for the Debt Collector because I am aware of what Their day is like dealing with People like Me when I’m acting like Me.

So thats why like I get really fucking indignant when I don’t duck Your phone calls, I’m not procrastinating, I’m not bullshiting, I’m not wasting your time in fact I’m calling you so all I’m saying is I expect you to be cooler because I’m basically walking up to You and going Hey here’s a free present. I’m not going to yell and curse at you. I’m actually calling you because I want to find out how I can pay the bill or a payment method to do so.

What more can a fucking Creditor want?! I mean fucking seriously, fucking seriously. It should should be Their wet Dream. Even this Lady today was great towards the end and shit We were joking these People do have a sense of humor. They really fucking do. They will admit what Their job is asking of You absolutely fucking ridiculous because They Themselves could not fucking do it, and They work for these people.

       

It was all good like I was confused, but that’s from talking to the other people so a that point I had a limited capacity. Um… I was kind of thinking about what My Wife was saying. Admittedly there is some diminished mental capacity at that point, so that’s all I’m going to say thats My only statement. Um… but like right after We got to joking and like everything was  under control as far as I’m fucking concerned things were going great at that point.

I’m like I’m exhausted, I barely know what the fuck is going on, but I got this Lady laughing I haven’t told Her to go fuck her own face  this is going great. And yes I understand there is another second bill…Oh Shit.

+At this point I was unaware of where I was waving My hands and knocked over My Freshly made Rum & Coke+

       

That’s a dead solider right there, but My point is I dressed that with Her so not only have We taken care of 1 account plus what I had already paid the Doctor’s office before I called Her, and We addressed the 3rd account so we should be fine. Like I said everything is going great. I told Her I had to talk to a particular person to acquire the cash to pay off the 3rd account in full in just one singular fucking payment. Pretty goddamn reasonable if you ask Me for someone who’s being contacted by a fucking Collection Agency.

And like I said I realize it’s Her job dude but it’s the quickest way to get Me to FUCKING HATE YOU. It’s like all bets are off I was playing nice, and self justification that if They aren’t playing nice then I DON’T HAVE TO PLAY NICE. This happened when She jumped Me like an parasitic asshole and was like “Oh Well When will You be Talking to That Person? Do you know how much money you can get from this person? Can you get all of the Money from this person? When do you think you can get some money from that person? When can you get all of the money from that person?

       

So I’m like OH YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK because thats just fucking ridiculous. I just fucking did your job and made your day a whole lot easier by one phone call You can go tell Your Boss You settled an account, They paid this initially today, We got a split payment plan for the rest, and I told Him about the 2nd outstanding account He told Me Blah Blah Blah He’s going to make some calls or whatever.

I’m sorry but as far as I’m concerned thats a fucking Win-Win for fucking both of Us. So I just like I know it’s part of Her job, but like You still as a person She has free will so She didn’t actually have to say that.

And if someone had come to Her and been like “Margret You Didn’t ask THE QUESTIONS?!” or whatever the fuck Her name was She could have been like “HEY in all due favor LOOK Payment, Set Up Payment, and addressed payment So You can’t really be mad at Me.” because basically She did her job Great. I got money, I set up getting more money, and Addressed the 3rd Money What do You want from Me so what if I went off script or some shit?!

       

It wouldn’t mean shit to anybody as long as She collected some fucking cash or a Commitment (AKA a Payment Plan) for Payment because lets face it thats all They give a flying fuck about is the Money. So She literally in all actuality even though I am saying it’s Her job I’m making excuses for Her because I don’t think She had to do that. Why become an asshole at the end of a successful phone call?! What fucking purpose could that serve?!

When She did that there was a feeling like Oh Ok now You’re going to slap Me in the fucking face? We just went thorough all this bullshit, We came to a resolution, We’re all Happy and We’re going to shake hands and instead of shaking My hand You’re going to just slap Me in the Face. And then start drilling Me like some insane interrogation Which by the way I’d have to be fucking Psychic to have any sort of answer about future fucking payment.

       

I have no idea when or where I will speak with someone it’s not fucking like “Oh sure I’ll be having Lunch with them in 3 weeks on the 24th at 12:33pm at The Greasy Spoon Diner. I will have a Cheese burger and They will have the Soup of the fucking Day. They will be impeccably dressed as usual. GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK YOU UNREALISTIC ASSHOLE(S).!”

That is were that particular recording was abruptly ended by My Brother.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober