Personal observation – f-your blog

Centrist

I am not a fuckin’ savior. I peel away at people like onions. We all do. Some of us are the peeled and we cry. Some of us are the instruments that scalp. Away. Away. Away.

We peel away the layers.

We peel away the sunshine.

We prefer it this way. Peeling away until there is nothing but barren terrain. Nakedness of the soul.

I see that barren flesh. I run. I hide. I capture but I do not seize. I growl at myself. I cannot kill the already dead. I cannot usurp what is already fallen at my feet. I plot. I ponder. I smile, I beckon them forth.

Centralist

I have always stood in between time and reality. I have always liked my part in this pathway towards truth, towards honesty, towards good.

I have always hated my lack of proofreading, my lack of utter care over things that most writers would throw hissy-fits about. Is this proper grammar? Am I spelled this write? Yes I know right.

I play dumb for the prey to think I am as such. It is not a very nice thing to do, but do it I shall. It was how the wolves conditioned me. Maybe I’m still just a wolf.

Most likely though, I fall in between. I am a centralist or centrist. I care not to look up spellings in dictionary.com. Usually words flow in my head that don’t make sense. Nine out of ten times, they are real words and I do a little spellcheck and poof they become what they were intended to be. Microcosms of my head spewed out to the masses herky-jerkedly like a disenfranchised orgasm at a self-righteous porno store.

Yes. yes. YES. !!! I would think if I had a bigger ego, that yes I am the fuckin’ Dr. Phil of the next generation. I have been in the middle of many things. I somehow italicized my shit and have no clue how. I havent been in the middle of any bi relationships but if I could have would have just so I could enlighten you all further. But that is not the point of this blog. The point is this………………………………………

There comes a time…….. when we as people need something more. I need more. I hear my friends call me after many a beer and I hear my friends after many a sober evening. I do not hear stability call. I hear everything but.

I write and write and write some more. There is no sense to the melody. There is no reason to the rhyme. Perhpas if I could hear the music. I could tell the tale better. But I have equal melodies of those captured by the waves of the substances and I hear equal melodies of those not captured by such.

What road should I travel? What road will hurt me less? I care not. I care to live.

By SpaceDog

Dreams Reunited?

I actually wrote the blog I’m about to type below offline. I had a very traumatic event (that I caused in full) which led to my banishment from a certain place. I will keep this matter private. The lesson here is do not brag about your lack of misfortune. It may and will come back to bite you in the ass.

DREAMS REUNITED?

Life is very strange on occassion. Well most of the time. People rise that were long thought to be dead. Misfortune brings some of us together; while on other occassions good omens actually can tear people apart.

And in between all the quicksand, betwixt the most recent firestorm I created something strange occured. I began to become aware of my dreams.

Not the things I want to do in my life, not the things like that. But the dreams we all have occuring somewhere deep in our unconsciousness, deep in our sleep.

The dreams at first became apparent to me at a time I would least expect them to do so. I am under firm belief that these dreams came to me because of my recent alcohol blackout. While I know it is highly unlikely that this triggered some mechanism in my head, it makes more sense then not.

You see, I had not remembered a dream or having a dream in a very long time. Six months to be exact. Six months since the time my doctor thought that a good experiment on my brain would be to give it Ritalin. They have not occured since that moment.

Yet I would trade back all the dreams I have had the past three days if I could do so. These dreams have been nothing special, nothing I could turn into great (or even mediocre) stories, movies, cures for cancer, you name it. But this price I paid for the recent dreaming is never worth the dream I suffocated.

I’m not really sure what this dream was. I’m not even sure if it was ever mine or ever tangible existed. It did on some level but I do not choose to analyze which at this moment. Yet I kept myself so incredibly dilluted with seriousness and plans of grandeur, which would take months or years to achieve not the days or hours which I so desired, that left me unable to sleep on this dream.

I will never know for sure. Yet apparently now I have an eternity to sleep on this dream. I’m not even sure that I can really do anything about it. I know I cannot, not directly. It may have never even been my dream. I may never know.

It is now simply one of the dreams I wish upon everyone.

Peace, love, and happiness. I cannot or should not expect to be able to deliver this gift to another, not at this given moment. Not when they do not exist within. I am an expert at moments of all of these attributes, yet a master at none.

Do any of us ever truly master these things? I always feel there is more work to do. No matter how good, no matter how bad things might be. People have repeatedly used me for all of these attributes. I need to learn to keep more of these to myself.

I am 31 years old right now. It is my turn to try a lot harder and not just grace the masquerade ball wearing the mask of trying hard.

There is a point of hope that began in my life on May 22nd. Perhaps I am speaking too soon. I don’t really care. I need to have this hope. I can whine and complain all I want but I would rather be an inspiration. I do not know how to be this or much of anything but I NEED to try. I cannot afford to put that torch down ever again.

I want to carry the world on my back, but I must carry my own reignited dreams, first and foremost….Dreams Reunited?

By SpaceDog

Part 2 The Forgotten

The lady had arrived at the final destination. She did not know how final it was or if she would be happy with the person next to her or the person inside of her in the morning, but she saw a shimmer in those eyes, like alpenglow cresting forth before the dawn.

There was no rhyme or reason. There was no great parade, no grand procession as she was accustomed to seeing. And so forth she went.

Well that lady is me. It is you. It is everyone of us. We all forget things that should not be forgotten. I personally have about five years of my life that I have blocked out due to PTSD. I treated myself deplorably and lived as such in almost every single facet of my being. I have difficulty distinguishing up or down, wrong or right, nearly every moment of those five years is a complete blur.

It is like it almost never happened but unfortunately it did. I sometimes tend to forget the year I am in, the age I may be, etc. at the given moment.

Several of my friends have gone through ECT, so I can relate with some degree of empathy with the lost thoughts, days, months, places. Except mine are in a more accessible place, a place I frankly choose not to access and which my conscious mind does not allow me to bring forth.

A lot of people I talk to think I am crazy. They do not wish to see the optimism I see in things to the point that I almost do not believe in it anymore. I have not forgotten that the world we live in is not a place of innocence, it is not a place of the nice guy never finishes last and the asshole never wins. It is opposite.

So as I sit here trying to break some kind of bread with Anne Frank, swastika emblazoned on my forehead. As I sit here wondering if all of my causes are noble or whether certain rocks should never be turned there is one thing I do not forget.

That there is still some kind of love, some kind of hope in this world. What brings me hope in the closest sense of the word is rather private but there are always rocks which need to overturned. Some should never have been touched but I touch. I feel, I learn. It has taken me a very long time to believe something I had forgotten for many, many years.

Luckily yesterday going to see a Pearl Jam concert on Halloween returned some of that lost innocence just a little bit more. Probably only for a little bit, but that’s a little bit more life in me then I had yesterday or the day before.

Everything in life brings you one step closer to death. Or one step closer to life. Most things are not that obvious. No one knows whether speeding down the highway or screaming at the top of your lungs makes you live more or die. All I know is today I am closer to life. Whatever lost cause tomorrow may bring.

By SpaceDog

“Well Twitter Me This Batman…”

Its no secret my favorite one and only Social Media Platform I use is Twitter. I’ve been told I’m prolific and am lucky enough to have a cult following. That doesn’t mean I don’t have issues with Twitter mind you because I do.

Twitter like so many before it has to balance precariously on the thin line of Free Speech. Society can’t make a simple Yes or No answer. Free Speech is a Black and White issue, there is not Gray area of ambiguity here.

If We truly have Free Speech then its for EVERYONE, or let me put it this way if you can say whatever you want SO CAN EVERY ASSHOLE IN AMERICA.

So to deal with this delicate matter Twitter like every other fucking Social Media Platform established a set of Rules and Guidelines designed to allow Free Speech. Thats ONLY IF it does’t violate their User Guidelines which in effect is CENSORSHIP, thus negating True Free Speech.

But I digress as the issue of Free Speech warrants an Entire Post for itself.

Yet Twitter seems to violate its own Rules of Conduct by openly allowing batshit scumfucker’s like Alex “Asshole” Jones or The Obese Orange Fuckass Traitor 45 to continually use their service apparently free from all penalties for violating the established Guidelines for Rules of Conduct.

Now I respect Twitter and Other Social Media Platforms (Except Face Book which is complete Bullshit, and Zuckerberg is a Slimy Little Money Grubbing Millennial Shitfuck.) To try and prevent Nazi’s, Rapists, Religious Fanatics, Political Scumbags, Homophobes, Anti-Semites, Corrupt, Crooked, Criminal, or illegal elements from getting exposure of any kind. That just is common sense to Me.

Now here is my issue with Twiter. Twitter has a rather basic and Parental plan in place to help address any issues of possible violation of Their Rules with a preverbal “Time Out” Yes that is correct.

Your screen will go blank and then a Template Letter Statement from Twitter appears. I can’t quote the fucking thing but I get the fucking gist.

It basically says that Twitter embraces Free Speech AND wants a user friendly platform. Then it accuses you of possibley might have gotten close to breaking the rules so this serves as an Slap On The Wrist if you will.

It informs you that since there could possibly been an issue your account is Limited Access for 12 hours. That means ONLY your followers will be able to see you account/tweets for 12 hours at which point your account is returned to normal.

What pisses Me off to no fucking end is the fact that though the messages says your account has been flagged for possible misconduct IT NEVER GIVES YOU THE/AN EXACT ANSWER. Its just this vague play nice or be punished reminder babble.

To date I have racked up a total of 19 “12 Hour Time Outs”.

I also had My Account put on a Stricter “24 Hour Time Out” Twice thus far.

I recently was given the harshest “Time Out” Yet with the “48 Hour Time Outs”

Now I don’t really understand at all why the fuck My Account is constantly being plagued with this Twitter bullshit. For the Records I do not engage in participate in, or support in any way of the following: Trolling, Threats of Violence to Anyone/their friends/their family/ personal property, pictures of anything of a Pornographic nature, Gun/Weapon Worship (ex. The NRAssholes), Anti-LBGTQ bullshit, Anti-Semetic Bullshit, Nazi Sympathizer Racist shit, Promotion or Glorification of Drug/Alcohol Use, Big Tobacco Bullshit, or anything of an Illegal, Criminal or Corrupt Nature.

The funniest fucking thing is how at this time in my life I’m not just aware of the Rules, BUT I do everything in my power to BEND but NOT BREAK the rules in Life. I seriously TONE DOWN my opinions and Posts by 10 fucking fold, trust me the shit you see I Tweet is just the TINIEST TIP of the fucking IceBurg. And not only that but when I do get put on one of these asinine “Time Out” deals I continue to Tweet, but again I tried much more lightly which I feel is respectful as fuck.

What I do is I do RAIL AND RAGE against primarily the Scumsucking Scumfuck Politicians, Trump the Traitor, Motherfucking MAGA Morons, Rancid Racists, Rapists, Homophobes, Police Brutality and Corruption, Bullshit Big Business (Fuck Walmart, Eat Shit Amazon), The Pharmaceutical Industry, Health Care, and any injustice I perceive. I fully support Underdogs as well as Those wronged by a Shitciety.

My feeling is if your a fucking ELECTED PUBLIC SERVANT aka a Politician and you fuck up or turn out to be a piece of fucking shit than your open to ANY AND ALL RIDICULE from the People who ELECTED YOU and for whom you supposedly work (REMEMBER FOR THE PEOPLE BY THE PEOPLE YOU WASHINGTON DC DICKHEADS?!!)

So yes I admit I insult the hell out of those I deem to be utterly shitty fucking people, and I talk mad shit about them (I do not Troll them, I say what I have to say on my Feed not Theirs.

I also get a kick out of BLOCKING MAGAs because their so fucking stupid that they respond to a Tweet of mine like I give a flying fuck what those fucktards have to say FUCK THE LEMMINGS!)

BUT these aren’t the General Public these are Elected Officials and other People in Power who by the nature of their job deserve to reap what they sow. And if you Sow Shit Seeds you Deserve to Reap Shit Plants.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

Drama Queens Need to Get Themselves Killed

Yup you guessed it this Post pertains to Drama Queens who fall in the category of “People We Love To Hate”.

If you don’t believe me just watch 5 fucking minutes of ANY “Reality” TV Show, and since We are on the subject if you watch “Reality” TV or one of the Contest Shows do Me a favor. STOP READING THIS, GO THE HELL AWAY, AND DON’T COME BACK. I have no time for such Bullshit.

Recently I was informed about a particular Drama Queen who’s shitty shenanigans were reeking a good bit of havoc as it were. Now this isn’t just an EXCEPTIONAL Drama Queen, this Drama Queen could be one for the Books. Here’s what happened in a Nutshell.

My Brother T joined a Pinball Team that is part of a Pinball or as he refers to it as “A Drinking Team that happens to play Pinball.”, but since he joined he’s had a lot of fun, met cool characters, made some friends, and generally has a great fucking time.

The Team meets and was competing on a recent Tuesday evening and my Brother’s Wife L came over to the Bar (They always meet and Play in a Bar with varying venues) where My Brother was already warming up for the nights competition.

Outside in a small group of smokers was a tattooed sudo hipster woman who introduced her self to L as Shittney (remember kids I don’t use real names of People or Places)

Now Shinttney is one of those extremely extroverted personality types that get right up in your personal space, and will tell you anything including seriously personal shit. Shit such as Their Great Grandfather was arrested for molesting a circus Elephant or Their sibling is in jail for blowing up a bus full of fucking Nuns.

So it did’t take Shittney long to inform L that the Owner of the Bar where their playing (and captain of that night’s opposing team) used to date, but not only that she also said she wanted to and I quote “Crush Him”. The first red fucking flag here was the fact that while Shittney and the Bar owner J did date for a while they broke up FOUR FUCKING YEARS AGO, FATAL ATTRACTION MUCH THERE OR WHAT?!!

Granted Break Ups by definition suck and suck bad, but if your not over someone 4 years after splitting up, GET PROFESSIONAL PSYCHIATRIC HELP YOU HAVE SERIOUS PERSONAL ISSUES is all I’m saying.

Red Flag number 2 considering the time-lapse between J and Shittney’s dating period she is far more than likely to be one of those bullshit Voyeuristic Cyber Stalkers.

Their the one’s that slink around in the shadows cast by the Internet’s bastard spawn Social media lurking in silence. Periodically they surf around observing people from either their past like ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, High School Classmates or Co-workers from the past and the present for example just to “See whats new with them.”

Anyway back to the Story Shittney gets her wish as her Team Beats J’s Team for that Night’s Win. AND HERE IS WHERE IT GETS DRAMA QUEEN CRAZY.

The next day following the Competition (and in spite of the fact THEY WON) hopped on Social Media using some Face Book Bullshit as her platform, and then railed against my Brother’s Team

She didn’t just go after her ex boyfriend and Team Captain she singled out even single member of the Team in this bullshit tirade. The main accusation (which of course Shittney is portraying as a hard cold Fact) is that the entire Team are cheaters.

Yup their scumbag cheaters who try and cheat every chance they get, they don’t obey the rules, and rig game play (I’m still unsure of what that criteria is or means but I’m doing my best here so if you don’t like it well shit on you.) and as par of the shitty social media madhouse several Pinball Trolls jumped on the band wagon in agreement.

Now I ask you Ladies and Gentlemen,

WHO THE FUCK COMPLAINS,BITCHES, AND INSULTS THE OTHER TEAM WHEN THEY’RE THE FUCKING WINNERS?!!!

“YOU CHEATED!” Accusations stem predominately from Poor fucking Losers as an excuse for why they suck as bad as they do. Trust me they suck big and they suck hard (that didn’t come out quite like I meant it, but I’m leaving it as is.)

In the End J stepped down as Team Captain, My Brother’s Team lost 2 great guys as well as terrific players, J finally made a statement addressing the accusations a bit late in the game, and finally J and Shittney sat down and recorded a Podcast that addressed any and all current ongoing issues between the two teams.

To lighten the mood a bit I’m going to list the main types of the assorted Drama Queens we find ourselves surrounded by and having to deal with. WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE SO DON’T BULLSHIT. Either a friend, Family Member, Co-Worker/Boss, Friend of a Friends, Wife/Husband, Someone’s kid(s), someone you dated, or some sort of run in with a Drama Queen

The Terminator’s: They earn their name from the Arnold Schwarzenegger because like Arnold said so eloquently “I’ll Be Back” These are the Drama Queens that Stalkers are made of. They can’t let go, in fact their lives become dominated with the daydream that perhaps one day you two will be reunited in Love. These People are fucking DELUSIONAL.
The Shakespeare: These are women driven solely by Revenge. They are the “Wrath of Women Scorned” demographic. Everything shitty in the past relationship and since is YOUR FAULT and thus YOU SHALL PAY. These are the Dangerous fuckers due to the penchant for violence.

3. The Victim: These people have taken Victimization and transformed it into a fucking art form. Their lives would be wonderful if everyone they know or encounter wasn’t out to spite them, cheat them, abuse them, lie to them, fuck them over etc. These are the ones that claim they can’t obtain Heaven being dragged down by so many other People’s Hells.

4. The Isolationist: These are the simplest forms or types of Drama Queens. The shun the usual shit show spectacle opting to Lock Themselves in a room classically a Bed or Bathroom is the preference of such people. They are the slow grind as dealing with them is like a fucking Police Hostage Negotiation where the Victim and the Perp are the same fucking person

5. The Banshee: The Loudest and likely most theatrical of all Drama Queens. These people will EXPLODE in a TSUNAMI of Hysterical Crying, Wailing, Whining, and other types of non verbal guttural vocalizations. These People keep fucking Kleenex in business.

6. The Shunners: These people take a classic play out of the Amish Playbook. They believe silence makes Guilty People Uneasy so by utterly ignoring you they hope you’ll see where you fucked up and come running to apologize. I for one don’t give a damn if someone wants to act like I’m fucking dead so these people are of no concern to me.

7. The Dark One: These are the Gothic type of Drama Queen. These people will lay around in bed listening to the fucking Cure or some Emo bullshit while refusing to eat. They are the Doom and Gloom People whose worlds are dark and forbidding, a place where love goes to die and shitty poetry written.

8. The Martyr: These people honestly believe that they are the center of the fucking Universe, and without them everyone they knows life would fall the fuck apart, and everyone would meet a horrible fate. These are the classic “Get off the Cross someone needs the Wood” people.

Well Thats all I Have For Now.

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober

Treacherous Toyota and Prius Propaganda

10 years ago Toyota introduced the World to The Prius, and simultaneously perpetrated one of the greatest Scams the American Public has ever known. Toyota struck with the Prius right as the GIANT FUCKING MONSTROSITY SUV craze was dwindling due to rising gas prices at the time.

Also people still felt guilt as hell about their part in fucking over the Earth with their glutinous consumerism so the terms “Going Green” and “Carbon Footprint” were just taking hold as they slowly entered the American Lexicon.

So of course Toyota formulated a 3 Prong Attack strategy to get as much as possible from their new vehicular sensation. Toyota wasn’t fucking around either, they were going for the Long Haul.

The first Point in Toyota’s 3 Point Plan was the most obvious which was to capitalize on Prius Hybrid Hype like a son of a bitch. Toyota made sure as shit to Advertise and EXPLOIT THE SHIT OUT the unparalleled gas milage, and the interests of the new surge in Environmentally Conscious Customers.

Bottom Line: Toyota did its best to Flood the fucking market by getting as many Prius’s on the road as humanly possible. Toyota was effectively Force Feeding their Product to the American Customer. The word Hybrid was on the tip of everyones fucking tongue.

But really thats no fucking different than any other Car Manufacturer with Cars to sell. Nothing new there. Toyota luckily had hit the PR jack Pot, BUT as I said Toyota was in it for the Long Haul.

Toyota wanted not only to capitalize on the 1st series Prius’s they wanted to help cement the future sales of subsequent future Prius series.

Now we all know how much a Car Dealership fucking sucks. Their inconvenient as hell, and the Most EXPENSIVE when it comes to repairs. Toyota’s second part of their plan was much more devious than just selling the shit outta cars while pissing gas on the PR fire as it were.

Toyota moving quietly and staying of the Radar started to recruit any and all graduating Mechanics who had been trained to work on hybrids to their Dealerships. See by poaching all the new hybrid mechanics Toyota set up a system that made the customer HAVE TO USE THE DEALERSHIP REPAIR SHOP because their were virtually NO HYBRID Mechanics working outside of a said Toyota Dealership.

The Bottom Line: Toyota was creating its own monopoly of Hybrid Mechanics.

Now the 3rd and final part of Toyota’s plan for longevity was the most underhanded yet. Now you have to remember that Hybrid Cars were a brand new technology, and like with anything new people were a bit afraid of it. The main thing that the Public seemed fixated on was the Hybrid’s High Voltage Battery.

In the Brain’s association game it hear High Voltage and immediately draws a parallel to the High Voltage wires that run along Telephone Poles and similar shit. We have all seen the bright orange warning signs before that read “DANGER HIGH VOLTAGE WIRES” usually with a Triangle with a lighting bolt zig zagging through it. SO right from the get go the fear factor is in play.

Toyota preyed upon this psychological fear until it reached an Urban Legend Level. The fear is pretty basic. Its the fear that some how or some way (especially if your a Auto Mechanic) will come in contact with the High Voltage Battery and electrocute themselves to an unpleasant death.

Yet like all things the fear evolved getting worse with each subsequent version. It got so out of control that it created paranoia through out the entire Automotive Mechanic Industry.

As if to say if a unfortunate Mechanic came in contact with the High Voltage Battery that he/she would be electrocuted to the point your skin burned. And your eyes explode as your intentions shoot out your ass like a fucking shot gun show down at the High Voltage Hacienda.

Not only that but due to the accident at hand the Mechanics entire extended family would contacts full blown Aids, their House would burn down, their car would blow the hell up,the mechanics friends would all die in horrible ways, and their dog would be picked up by Animal Care and Control and Euthanized.

Like I said this perpetuated fear of the High Voltage Battery not only urged the Public, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY it reenforced the idea Toyota had set out which was “Only a Trained Toyota Dealership Mechanic can Work Safely on a Prius. This discouraged the competition from even entertaining the idea of even trying to learn more or less work on Prius’s.

The GOOD NEWS is Toyota’s Hybrid Mechanic Monopoly and the Age of High Voltage Battery Paranoia is slowly but definite End. Now that a growing variety of Toyota’s competitors have Hybrids of their own Toyota is no longer Unique.

Also the issue with the poaching of Hybrid Mechanic Grads is phasing it self as well. As more and more future and graduating Mechanics get into the Hybrid repair field Toyota can’t hire them all. Not enough money and, not enough Toyota Dealerships to continue an on going attempt to preserve the dying monopoly.

Well some cliches are cliches for a reason (their true) and Toyota learned that with the clique “All Good Things Must Come To An End.”

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober

Animals, Man, and His Ego

Lets face it at best Man is nothing more than a hairless talking monkey with thumbs, and at worst Man is an Animal thus He has the capability of being a Beast. And since Man started walking upright He has come to assume that Mankind has control or jurisdiction over all other living life forms on Earth. I think the Band Fishbone had it write when they said “Give a Monkey a Brain and He’ll swear He’s the Center of the Universe.”

To illustrate My point I will use the following Animals as Examples of the overwhelming ego of Man. The example Animals will be Wolves, Elephants, Orca’s, and Chimpanzees. So without further ado lets get this shit started.

One of the BIGGEST MISCONCEPTIONS is Wolves being the Ancestor’s of Domesticated Dogs can be kept like a Dog as a Pet. Even if a Person was to take in and care for a Wolf Pup moments after it was born, fed it, cared for it, Kept it healthy, and tried to train it like a dog (Do your business outside, Sit, Stay, Some etc) it wouldn’t mean nor change a damn thing. Wolves are WILD ANIMALS and they ALWAYS WILL BE NO MATTER WHAT MAN TRIES TO MAKE IT OTHERWISE.

You see some fucking jerk off thought they were a genius by having the hypothesis that if you bred a Wolf with a Large Domesticated Dog breed (like lets say a German Shepherd) then you could domesticate it as half of its DNA is from a domesticated Dog. IT FAILED HORRIBLY. Wolf Hybrids were so dangerous that at this point and time almost every state (accept for a few shit states like South Dakota) are totally Illegal and are Euthanized Immediately. The issue again was even if a Wolf was bred with a Domesticated Dog the wild Wolf in it would win out every time.

The Next Animal is the Majestic Elephant. True Elephants have been utilized by man for travel purposes as well as for Labor, but when Man decided to poach Elephants for the sole purpose of entertainment in Circuses it was going way too far.

Kept in cages, often Beaten while being trained to preform asinine tricks, abused (shitty food/healthcare), and are paraded around a ring for what would be the rest of their natural lives Elephants started to snap. We have all heard stories or at least a story about a Circus Elephant going “Batshit” trashing the Circus Tent, possibly injuring or killing any audience members or staff, and rampage down the street general fucking everything up it comes in contact with. People act all surprised by this, but if you were kidnapped, enslaved, and mistreated wouldn’t you want to make a break for freedom?

Appropriately the next Animals on the list are also Paraded around in Circuses and Imprisoned in Zoo’s all for the sole entertainment of Man, and these Animals are Big Cats such as Lions and Tigers. Big Cats are dangerous everyone agrees, BUT Animal Trainers over time let their guard down as they become more and more comfortable working with Big Cats over the Years. Also the Animal Trainer started to get severely over confident to the point of being cocky (I’m a Man and thus I’m the Master)

A perfect and rather tragic example of why no one should Train/Work With Big Cats are the Magicians Siegfried and Roy. Siegfried and Roy were/are the most famous and well know duo who put on Las Vegas Style Shows using Lions and Tigers. They also interacted with the lions/Tigers at home outside of work playing with them and socializing them (getting them used to people)

Siegfried and Roy made millions and traveled the globe for DECADES with their Tigers putting on countless shows that was until the inevitable happened. One day like any other in 2003 when one of the Duo’s Tiger’s who had preformed in hundreds of shows attacked Roy grabbing him around the throat triggering a stroke. Roy lived (now wheelchair bound) but his career was over, and since the attack Roy has become a Recluse virtually never leaving the two’s 100 acre compound.

Though the Duo hoped Roy would one day return to the stage it wasn’t meant to be (due to Roy’s permanent injuries), and in 2010 Siegfried and Roy announced they were Retired for good.

The second to last on My list are Chimpanzees. Since the invention of the Movie Camera (and then subsequently Television as well as The Internet) it seems people have been even more fascinated by Chimpanzees. Chimpanzee were cute, could be dressed like people, intelligent, Social, cute like a Baby, could preform trick/tasks, and even if you don’t believe in evolution the Chimpanzee’s close similarity to Humans made them endearing to the American public.

Now with all the Movies/TV Shows etc. have led people (including those few who have them as pets) to assume Chimpanzees might be a handful, but they don’t pose a threat or risk. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. While their cute and cuddly when young once a Chimpanzee hits Sexual Maturity (or puberty as we humans call it) their entire personality changes. The hormones are raging drawing out Chimpanzee’s wild instincts making them destructive, Territorial, and uncontrollable.

The most egregious mistake people make with Chimpanzees they forget how strong they actually are. Now no one would fuck with a Gorilla because those massive motherfuckers could snap a grown man in two with ease. And though Chimpanzees are smaller than humans makes them quite deceptive when it comes to their strength. A Chimpanzee is 5 to 6 times stronger than a fully grown adult Male. So imagine getting in a fist fight and your opponent is as strong as 5 to 6 men combined.

A horrific example of this was in a story a few years back now. A woman had a Chimpanzee as a pet for many years without issue. Her friend came to visit her one afternoon, and they Chimpanzee savagely attacked biting her face. The Woman lived but was permanently disfigured and disabled by the attack. The Chimp torn off her ears, bit off her nose, and blinded the poor woman among other things during the brutal attack.

Now last but not least lets talk Orca’s. Orca’s are commonly know to the American Public as Killer Whales like Sea World’s Shamu. Shame was an American Icon drawing thousands over the years to Sea World where they could see Shamu preform, and there was TONS of merchandise. Shamu has attacked (and killed a couple) of various Sea World Trainers. Shamu’s legacy of attacking Trainers is blurry as there have been Several Shamu’s over the Years (the 1st Shamu was a wild caught Female who died in 1971) just like a parent who’s child’s pet dies and they buy a look-a-like replacement.

The only point I’d like to make is this ITS A FUCKING KILLER WHALE, KILLER is literally in its name. So why the fuck do people get so shocked when a KILLER WHALE attacks, its like being utterly surprised that a Serial Killer Kills. Not to mention these are WHALES not fucking Gold Fish, you can’t poach a Orca from the wild (a practice that has been out lawed) or breed them in private programs you can’t actually expect a creature that big will be happy living in a sparse oversized Fish Bowl Aquarium?!

Bottom line: Man is an Animalistic Beast No Matter what His Ego Tells Him.

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober

Day-2 The Void

I did something today
Worst thing I have done in weeks.
I did nothing.

I was frozen to myself and not answer the phone.
I wanted to send text messages yet the fingers were not there to guide me home.

I wanted to go to the gym but my cigarettes were 10 feet away.

I wanted some guidance; I got disarray.

I wanted to flirt but I was chickenshit.

I wanted to kick over the sign outside the store but then I was feeling overly mature,

So I settled for fish and chips and a double helping of prunes.

I wanted to light a candle but I was too scared to see my reflection in the flame.

I lifted myself upright to only let myself fall back down….
To this void that pierces my skin.

Then the catacombs of my eyes
Matched the patterns on my shirt
It was time to land my hovercraft
Time to latch back onto Earth

I wanted to tell you with a whisper, with a grin
I looked to see your smiling face
There was nothing
Just a deed for your next of kin

I saw a rainbow draped across your barren soft skin
Viewed a million ships sailing
Over the edge of the flattened world
This treachery
This malaise
Beckons us into the sin

Naked I wanted the day
Stripped away
Naked it was
Droopy eyeballs smacking down the turf

I wanted some candy
I settled for slop

I wanted an epiphany
I settled for sloth

I wanted to be myself
But myself was stuck deep within

I travel the void
There is only me
Just think of me baby
Tomorrow I just might be

By SpaceDog

Life Without Beer??? WHAT!!!

So recently I decided as an experiment to put down the beer for 2 weeks. I put down the hard liquor and all that other stuff and drugs, but couldn’t help myself to a few whipits, I mean the jackassed government only gives me $14 of food stamps a month and I can’t use this on smokes or beer so what better.

So I did this experiment, still felt like shit and got drunk. I went overboard but whatelse is new. Hard liquor, control, and my presence usually equal drama. For as little drama as I supply sober, I more then make up a few shots, no wait it really only takes one drink to get the drama train started.

Yeah blah blah blah. So I went back to beer. Drama really doesn’t happen with beer unless I’m drinking because I’m sad and well I’ve only done that drink beer sad thing twice in the past year. First time ended with a broken emergency supply kit in my vehicle (and a very angry friend’s grandmother who wants to crucify me) and the second time ended with a seven hour phone call. Maybe longer. Not sure, was worshipping the porcelin god in my bathroom.

So twice in a year isn’t so bad. It’s far worse with hard.

Long story short. I think I have a gluten allergy. Which means no beer!!!! I can get over the lack of chips and pretzels and processed crap and bread but no beer!!!!

All I know is I am A LOT happier the past week and certain ailments (most notably dry skin and random happy 31st birthday acne) have mystically cleared up.

Right now, I feel like Courtney Love probably felt when she was becoming an actress like, “Oh shit I need to put on a dress AND underwear??? And pose like a lady ??? And not get drunk that bad!!!!???? WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!”.

Well she only lasted well maybe a year or two before she was drunk and screaming at Madonna on MTV.

Anyway that’s how I feel. I am not ready to put on professional people clothes and wear ties and drink glasses on wine with equally stuffy people sipping on cosmos. NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!

I mean I’m more a box of wine type, but there’s no good place to put that in my car. It’s like when I used to travel with my hooka, it was great company for trips by oneself but I like red wine and I’m a bit of a mess.

So does anyone have ideas of either A) What I should drink? B) Where I should drink? OR C) The next establishment they would like to see me banned from. (and YES I have not been bannished from anywhere since “ASSGATE” in Philly. Almost 3 years ago!!!!!)

Brought to you by,

SpaceDog

A Peak Behind a Particular Pet Store’s Policy

It was a couple of years ago at this point that I walked into a particular Pet Store which I’d love to call out, and name said Pet Store but I won’t. Why You ask? The answer is I don’t want to run ANY RISK of some asshole reading this, and narcing Me out so then I get sued by this Pet Store for Slander/Defamation of Character.

Anyways I walked into this Pet Store because My Ball Python (Monty and if you get the reference give yourself a pat on the back. The Pet Store had one annoying issue which was even though they didn’t/don’t work on commission get right up in your fucking face like some possessed Used Car Salesman soon as you set a single foot on the floor.

This Employee (who I wouldn’t name here either, but I honestly have no idea what his actual name was/is) was a Assistant Manager or perhaps an actual Manager. He of course came striding up to me with a greasy fake smile that made him look like a fucking Child Molester on Meth and asked Me what I was looking for. I told Manny I was there for a couple of Mice, and Manny cut Me off at the knees. As soon as I said Mice I was going to get the fucking whole rigamarole about being a Snake Owner. What I mean by that is Manny cut me off to ask if the Mice were for Pets or Food and I of course said food.

At this time Pet Stores were considering what to do about the growing Public Opinion on the subject of Reptile Owners feeding live Rodents to their Pets. I won’t take but a moment to address this happy load of Horseshit. First off REPTILES EAT RODENTS, its a fucking FACT OF NATURE. You don’t fault a Nile Crocodile for killing a fucking Wilda Beast do you?!

Second as I wrote PREVIOUSLY there are Dead Frozen Rodents for sale (a half assed attempt to solve the growing tension as Reptile Owners prepared to go head to head and toe for toe with the General Public over the issue) BUT it requires all kinds of nasty prep work because they Reptile will only eat its Prey if its either alive or has just died mere moments ago. You won’t find a Zoo Staff feeding Frozen TV fucking Diners to their Lions and other Big Cats housed there would you?!! If you don’t get what I’m saying here just think about it for a few minutes.

Instead of acting like a self righteous, judgmental piece of ignorant shit in gauged Me in a conversation pertaining sole to My wanting Live Mice to feed a hungry snake. It is pertinent that I mention here for those of you who aren’t aware Male Rats / Male Mice fight constantly which results in serious injuries, I mean think about how sharp their teeth are (not to mention they also have 5 sets of claws so having those are well handy in a fight.) Manny went on to mention that they had the issue with their Stock of Mice/Rats.

See No Pet Store is going to pay a $40-$60 for an initial Vets Visit for a $1.99 Mouse or $4.99 Rat. They also aren’t going to have their employees medicating the injured Rodents with liquid Antibiotics for 7-14 days while applying Topical Ointment. Now on the other hand they also can’t sell the injured Rodents because No One would buy one, No One wants damaged goods. So what can They do about it. At this point in time One Major Pet Store Chain Stopped carrying Live Rodents altogether while another simply decided not to sell Male Rodents as their the aggressive sex. Yet that is Now and this was back When.

Manny continued on to tell me that the Pet Store would be willing to sell Me the injured Mice at a Discount because as far as the business was concerned some money beats no money, but it had to be on the Down Low as the Pet Store didn’t want to upset the General Public. Manny went on to mention that this Pet Store’s policy was if they couldn’t unload them at a discount to Reptile Pet Owner’s they would crate them back up and send them to be Euthanized I’m sure they got a deal for bulk.

I took Manny up on the Back Door Deal of unloading injured Mice for profit and promptly left. I returned a few weeks later again in need of a few Live Mice to feed My Snake (well one of them, it was the Ball Python again as it were.) ,and because of the semi shady grey area the Pet Store was operating in I asked for Manny much like meeting your Pot Dealer at their place of employment. Turned out that Manny wasn’t working that day so another Employee asked how they could help me? Not wanting to possibly get into a heated confrontation with this Employee on the subject of feeding Reptiles Live Rodents (or Prey Animals) I figured fuck it and just went for it.

I told the Employee about My previous arrangement with Manny and it went over like a Pregnant Nun in Church as some would say.They Employee was first and foremost on of those impractical Anti-Live Feed People so that was no help. Second while the grimace on her fucking face showed her disgust for Reptile Owners on the issue of Live-Feed her eyes where busy narcing her out. Her eyes told Me that she damn well knew about the injured Rodent Unofficial Policy, BUT she also knew it was her job to totally deny it. And thats exactly what she did she feigned Shock and Disbelief at what I had said, and then informed no such policy existed (and if Manny did make a deal he was acting on his own, an employee gone rouge if you will.)

I respond by tell the Employee that I didn’t believe a fucking thing she said, and that as far as her personal views on Live Feeding that she needs to keep them to her fucking self (at least while on the job AT A FUCKING PET STORE LIKE AN ASSHOLE) I then told her the issue was far from fucking over and left.

If your pissed I didn’t name this Pet Store I can tell you this. This National Pet Store Chain’s Name STARTS WITH PET and ends in Well you can figure it out based on that I’m sure (or damn well close enough.)

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober