IF Your Feeling Froggy I Can Gladly Eat Your Legs.

Here is the briefest of glimpses into my manic mind.

2 weeks ago I had to have  a Surgical Procedure done as an insurance policy as it were. It wasn’t a big deal. Nothing to break a sweat over.

What I mean is it was a same day type deal. Your admitted in the Morning and discharged in the Afternoon (I mean fuck I was home a little before 1:30 pm)

Everything went smooth as a Sex on Satin Sheets that is until I arrived in Post Op.

You see I was born in The Armpit of America so swearing is highly integrated into my speech pattern.  Thats is simply I curse a lot.

Now over the years with Age and some Wisdom I have managed to keep my shit together and roll with the punches, BUT I am far, far, FAR from perfect.

There are a few times/situations/scenarios where granted I do still tend to go from Calm to Batshit Crazy in the blink of a eye.

Its a fucking Nightmare for ALL involved myself included (no one truly wants or strives to be a complete Dick or an outrageous Asshole or perhaps they do who knows not I.)

I mentioned in the last post F To The U To The C To The K To The Part To The 2 (that besides arguing absurdity while fucking with people to amuse myself when things get boring) I win the Mass Majority of my actual real deal arguments by Arguing Intelligently.

The Trick is a combination of the Other Party not being as nearly as smart as they think they are, They Don’t actually know that much about what Their arguing about/over, and Their underestimating their opponent knowledge on said subject.

And Here is a Perfect Example.

Once I had a moment to gather my surroundings and ability to speak without babbling incoherently I started talking with My Wife and My Dear Friend Percibles who We had flown in to assist Me while I recovered.

I’m extremely independent. I won’t even ask My Wife for help during temporary physical limitations because I should be able to cope with whatever the task is by Myself regardless of said limitations. Thus Percibles Presence was requested.

Anyway a particular Nurse swung back the privacy curtain with force and told me to watch my mouth with a scowl of disapproval painted across her fucking face.

I initially thought nothing of it because I was Beat Up and Half Whacked on Pain Killers while Muddle Minded due to the lingering Anesthesia. So I kept chatting with My Wife and Buddy Pericbles and I was unaware at first that I was continuing to swear like a Drunken Sailor.

That was until The No Nonsense Nurse whipped back the privacy curtain for the second time to inform me to watch my language because there were kids there while trying to stare me down.

That irritated me because in all honesty I didn’t tell anyone to have fucking kids.

If you have an issue with that last statement think of it like this if I had a misbehaving Dog you’d think the same thing I just said about Kids.

That and don’t fucking try and be all tough with me with that bullshit stare down bullshit, save that shit for Dogs.

I’ll let that sink in for a second. And We’re Back…..

So once the Nurse closed the privacy curtain (I could see her shadow silhouette standing there like a fucking Horror Movie) and turned to leave I deliberately said something to the affect of :

“I don’t fucking need her self righteous bullshit right now Jesus Christ.”

That got the desired reaction as the Nurse threw back the Curtin like a fucking Hurricane force gale, glaring like a motherfucker being obviously pissed off and growing incapable of hiding it.

This time she told me that apparently if I didn’t stop swearing she’d call Security. And that did not go over well.

I was born Loath and despise any and all Authority Figures. Authority is just Abuse of Power Run Amok. I mock Security Guards mercilessly always have and always will.

The reason is technically their an Authority BUT they have NO REAL AUTHORITY TO DO A DAMN THING. The most Security Guards can do is try and detain a suspect until the Police arrive.

Security Guards are a lame illusion of an Authoritative Power. Total Bullshit.

So once again as the Nurse shut the curtain and turned to leave I blurted out: “Fuck This Bullshit and Fuck Her Too for all I fucking care.”

This time the Nurse stormed off only to return with an Orderly or some low level grunt and I was relocated to what I can only assume was a spare Exam Room of some kind but I really couldn’t tell you for sure.

BEFORE YOU GET JUDGMENTAL HERE Is The Method to My Madness.

Incident One: Like I said initially I was unaware do to My then current condition aware I was swearing. I don’t mind nor take offense to anyone telling me/ reminding Me to watch my mouth. Thus No Harm No Foul.

Incident 2: I damn well know (because I’ve had surgery before, been in the Hospital a few times before, and oh yeah My Wife is a fucking Nurse (RN) for the past 10 fucking years) that society has long ago established that Adults go to the Hospital and Children go to Children’s Hospital designed to cater to the various needs of developing Children.

In a few rare cases that are the acceptation to the rule a Hospital may treat Children in a separate and secluded building.

My Point: ADULTS AND CHILDREN ARE TREATED IN SEPARATE FACILITIES.

I knew this was a blatant attempt into shaming me or making me feel guilty so I would stop Cursing.

Incident 3: I was also knew that the Threat of Security being called was utter horseshit from the get go. First off I’m in Post Op which means legally I can’t be moved. I also know ONLY A DOCTOR can discharge you.

Not to mention My Doctor had a couple more post op checks to do plus I had to go through the rather lengthy discharge process. Again proving that I COULD’T be removed from or discharged from the Hospital.

If the Nurse had even tried it be a race between My Doctor and the Hospital to see who fired her first. Not to mention t(hat just like Doctors or Lawyers) Nurses have Licenses that if revoked means They’d  be barred from practicing in the Medical Profession.

Not to mention First Off Security would decline her request to phone the Police because CURSING ISN’T A CRIME. Can you say 1st Amendment?!

In the case Security was dumb as a box of fucking rocks and did phone the Police the Police would tell them the same thing. That and don’t call them over trivial bullshit again or they’d be in trouble for doing so.

My point in all this is the Nurse PERSONALLY took offense to my course language, it had nothing to do with Hospital Rules/Protocol, Security or The Police.

Bottom Line DON’T TRY AND FORCE FEED ME YOUR PERSONAL OPION(S).

Thanks for Reading,

 By Les Sober

F to the U to the C to the K to the Part to the 2

Some say I had a chip on my shoulder in the womb.

Others believe I was born Angry from Day 1.

As soon as I entered the World I was Raging, Railing, and Rioting against it.

Confrontation Excites Me.

I’ve made arguing into an Art Form of Fuckery.

I make people think through changing Their Perspective of the Situation.

I win by always making an Intelligent Argument. Never argue like an Idiot. Never Argue from a point of Ignorance. Stupidity is Avoidable.

I was born a fighter, Live as a Fighter, and I will inevitably Die Fighting Waring to the last second of My Life.

I’m the kind of Person that people say “I hope in Death he finds the Peace he could never find in Life.” at their fucking Funeral.

And Thus The Fucks Continue undaunted…….

Fuck Steve Harvey. Fuck Bixby. Fuck Cortana. Fuck Supremacy.

Fuck Slavery. Fuck Human Trafficking. Fuck Airlines. Fuck Rental Cars.

Fuck a Duck. Fuck Jeff Sessions. Fuck a 2 Party System. Fuck a Suck.

Fuck Guy Liner. Fuck Skinny Jeans. Fuck Porn. Fuck Manscaping.

Fuck Emojis. Fuck James Woods. Fuck TGIF, Fuck The New Full House.

Fuck Murphy Brown Past and Present. Fuck Gastronomy. Fuck Bigfoot.

Fuck The Connors. Fuck Pesticides. Fuck Smoking Tide Pods. Fuck Veal.

Fuck Faux Gras. Fuck Juggalos. Fuck Dentists. Fuck Botox. Fuck Recycling.

Fuck Minimum Wage. Fuck The 40 Hour Work Week. Fuck Outsourcing.

Fuck Automated Messaging Systems. Fuck Pumpkin Beers. Fuck Lattes.

Fuck Jocks. Fuck Gyms. Fuck Orthodontists. Fuck Funerals. Fuck Pride.

Fuck Dating Sites. Fuck Playboy. Fuck Miata’s. Fuck Mid Life Crisis.

Fuck Declawing. Fuck Tail Docking. Fuck Geraldo Rivera. Fuck White Trash.

Fuck CGI. Fuck Comic Book Movies. Fuck Avatar. Fuck Micheal Bay.

Fuck JJ Abrams. Fuck Uwe Boll. Fuck Bjork. Fuck The WWE.

Fuck Satellite Radio. Fuck The UFC. Fuck The Confederate Flag.

Fuck Tyler Perry. Fuck Medea Movies. Fuck Conservatives. Fuck Infection.

Fuck Moby. Fuck Kanye West. Fuck Simon Cowell. Fuck Twitter.

Fuck Sexting. Fuck Trump Supporters. Fuck Bigots. Fuck Racists.

Fuck Ted Cruz. Fuck MAGA. Fuck Opulence. Fuck Strip Clubs.

Fuck Chris Angle. Fuck Ghost Adventures. Fuck Self Doubt. Fuck Me.

Fuck Excessiveness. Fuck Low Self Esteem. Fuck PETA. Fuck Sea World.

Fuck Circuses. Fuck Animal Abuse. Fuck Deforestation. Fuck Polar Bears.

Fuck Heart Throbs. Fuck Teen Idols. Fuck Rolling Stone. Fuck EDM.

Fuck DJ’s. Fuck Sckrillix. Fuck Limp Bizkit. Fuck Lincohn Park.

Fuck The KKK. Fuck Skinheads. Fuck Mel Gibson. Fuck White Power.

Fuck Black Friday. Fuck Apple Stores. Fuck Apple Geniuses.

Fuck The Super Bowl. Fuck The World Cup. Fuck The World Series.

Fuck Noisiness. Fuck Meditation. Fuck Yoga. Fuck Mabneste. Fuck NASCAR.

Fuck Hot Dogs. Fuck Head Cheese. Fuck Gas Station Sea Food.

Fuck Food Poisoning. Fuck Cinco De Mio. Fuck Flag Day.

Fuck Vick’s Vapor Rub. Fuck Old Wives Tales. Fuck Superstitions.

Fuck Road Rage. Fuck Expectation. Fuck Judgmental People.

Fuck Judgments. Fuck Price Gauging. Fuck Corporations. Fuck Hippies.

Fuck Democrats. Fuck Hilton. Fuck Logos. Fuck Branding.

Fuck Traffic Tickets. Fuck Incorporation. Fuck DUI’s. Fuck Pimps.

Fuck Poaching. Fuck Human Trafficking. Fuck Women Beaters. Fuck AMHA.

Fuck Guidance Councilors. Fuck Prejudice. Fuck Auto Correct.

Fuck The Cloud. Fuck Stereotyping. Fuck Candy Crush, Fuck Trivia Nights.

Fuck Genocide. Fuck Suicide. Fuck Arrogance. Fuck Pompous People.

Fuck Cockiness. Fuck Scremo. Fuck Smashing Pumpkins. Fuck Matt Soren.

Fuck Game Of Thrones. Fuck The Twilight Series. Fuck Authority.

Fuck Menstruation. Fuck Masturbation. Fuck Rim Jobs. Fuck Grievances.

Fuck Hallmark. Fuck The 5 Day Work Week. Fuck Retirement. Fuck Softcore.

Fuck King Of The Road. Fuck Snitches. Fuck Rabies. Fuck Over Fishing.

Fuck BP. Fuck Oil Spills. Fuck “Hot Spots”. Fuck Night Clubs.

Fuck Standards. Fuck Tech Support. Fuck Regularity. Fuck Gossip.

Fuck High School. Fuck The TV Show Friends. Fuck Cartels. Fuck The NSA.

Fuck The 1%. Fuck Golf. Fuck Plagiarism. Fuck Wikipedia. Fuck PornHub.

Fuck Slut Shaming. Fuck Body Dysmorphia. Fuck The Kock Brothers.

Fuck Lines. Fuck Patience. Fuck Energy Bars. Fuck Spray On Hair.

Fuck Vanity. Fuck The Vain. Fuck Narcissism. Fuck Bernie Sanders.

Fuck White People With Dreads. Fuck Flesh Lights. Fuck the NSA.

Fuck The DEA. Fuck The Police. Fuck White People With Corn Rows.

Fuck Exclusion. Fuck Crowds. Fuck Unprofessional People.

Fuck Gym Teachers. Fuck Fruit Cake. Fuck Insincerity. Fuck Data Plans.

Fuck New & Improved. Fuck 4-6 Weeks For Delivery. Fuck Tracking Devices.

Fuck No C.O.D.’s. Fuck Minimum Spending Limit. Fuck Deductibles.

Fuck Out Of Pocket Expense. Fuck Out Patient Services. Fuck Mocktails.

Fuck Lawyer Ads. Fuck Oliver North. Fuck Pop Music. Fuck Swastikas.

Fuck Doc Martins. Fuck Cordless Phones. Fuck Flat Tires. Fuck Car Rims.

Fuck Fear Mongering. Fuck Shrinks. Fuck The Loch Ness Monster.

Fuck David Ward. Fuck Bluetooth Ear Pieces. Fuck Math. Fuck Isis.

Fuck David Duke. Fuck Rush Limbaugh. Fuck Perez Hilton. Fuck Art Thieves.

Fuck The Real House Wives. Fuck Malware. Fuck Megyn Kelly.

Fuck Innuendo. Fuck Rudy Guilliani. Fuck Laura Ingrahm.

Fuck Anabolic Steroids. Fuck Meth. Fuck Cocaine. Fuck Portland.

Fuck Sarah Silverman. Fuck Cover Charges. Fuck Rob Black. Fuck Junkies.

Fuck High School Reunions. Fuck Car Repairs. Fuck Raking Leaves.

Fuck Crackheads. Fuck Shoveling Snow. Fuck Deicing Your Wind Shield.

Fuck Angie’s List. Fuck Themed Cruises. Fuck Craig’s List. Fuck Google.

Fuck Tabloids. Fuck Paparazzi. Fuck The Phelps Family. Fuck Fear Tactics.

Fuck Hate Mongering. Fuck The Dark Web. Fuck Bitcoin.

Fuck Crypto Currency. Fuck Western Union. Fuck The Lottery. Fuck NJ.

Fuck Sweet 16. Fuck Dry Drunks. Fuck Time Shares. Fuck Celine Dion.

Fuck Over Hyping Shit. Fuck White Fear. Fuck Territories. Fuck Franchises.

FuckBigger Is Better. Fuck Name Brands. Fuck Flu Shots.

Fuck Scientologists. Fuck Elron Hubbard. Fuck Amorality.

Fuck Electric Bills. Fuck E Town. Fuck Sugar Ray. Fuck Instagram.

Fuck Vegan Food. Fuck Dietary Restrictions. Fuck Ruts. Fuck Subway.

Fuck Self Fulfilling Prophecies. Fuck Subscriptions. Fuck Megan Kelly.

Fuck Potholes. Fuck Government Cheese. Fuck Public Pools.

Fuck Gated Communities. Fuck Country Clubs. Fuck Obnoxiousness.

Fuck People Who Don’t Tip. Fuck Car Dealerships. Fuck Urinal Troffs.

Fuck Floyd Mayweather Jr. Fuck The Boy Scouts. Fuck Chain Letters.

Fuck Amway. Fuck Pyramid Schemes. Fuck Cheating. Fuck Aesthetics.

Fuck Morticians. Fuck Tank Tops. Fuck Disease. Fuck Champagne.

Fuck White Russians. Fuck Poker. Fuck Athletes Foot. Fuck Jock Itch.

Fuck Leeches. Fuck Ticks. Fuck Debt Collection Agencies. Fuck Wine Coolers.

Fuck Mosquitos. Fuck Hard Cider. Fuck Cockroaches.

Fuck Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Fuck Romantic Comedies. Fuck Tyler Perry.

Fuck Falsehoods. Fuck The High road. Fuck Ambercrombe Finch.

Fuck Strip Malls. Fuck Urban Sprawl. Fuck That’s Delicious. Fuck Nu Metal.

Fuck Glen Danzig. Fuck Allergies. Fuck Snail Mail. Fuck Tony Robbins.

Fuck People Who Don’t Pick Up Their Dog’s Shit. Fuck Pressure. Fuck Loss.

Fuck Migraines. Fuck Disrespect. Fuck Resentment. Fuck Weather Reports.

Fuck Fluff Pieces. Fuck The Food Pyramid. Fuck Editing For Time & Content.

Fuck The Movie Rating Board. Fuck Networking. Fuck Socialites.

Fuck LinkedIn. Fuck Speed Dating. Fuck 3.14. Fuck Smartphone Filters.

Fuck Posting Pictures Of Food. Fuck Aging. Fuck Beautiful People.

Fuck Youth. Fuck The Unwise. Fuck Fashion Designers. Fuck Fashion Week.

Fuck Paris. Fuck Aggression. Fuck Stress. Fuck Anxiety. Fuck Loneliness.

Fuck Valentines Day. Fuck Xanax. Fuck Trump’s EPA. Fuck Breast Cancer.

Fuck Liver Cancer. Fuck Adderall. Fuck Dr. Phil. Fuck Ephedra. Fuck Splenda.

Fuck The “Me, Me, Me!” Mentality. Fuck That We Are All Winners.

Fuck Energy Drinks. Fuck Monster. Fuck Redbull. Fuck The Supreme Court.

Fuck Oxycontin. Fuck Vicodin. Fuck Valium. Fuck Testosterone.

Fuck The Alpha Male Theory. Fuck Blame. Fuck Finger Pointing.

Fuck Perception. Fuck Totalitarianism. Fuck Communism.

AND MOST OF ALL FUCK YOUR BLOG.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

F to the U to the C to the K

I have to vent some as I’ve got that fucked up feeling like I’m actually going insane.

I can fucking feel It.

I fucking fear It.

I fucking am It.

FUCK IT BEGINS:

Fuck The Bullshit.  Fuck Them. Fuck Money.  Fuck Pharmaceuticals.

Fuck Taxes. Fuck Censorship.  Fuck Salt.  Fuck Bills.

Fuck Organized Religion.  Fuck Politicians.  Fuck The Police.  Fuck Poverty.

Fuck Sexism.  Fuck Fast Food.  Fuck Nazi Scum.  Fuck Homophobes.

Fuck Fox News.  Fuck Trump,  Fuck Driver’s Licenses.  Fuck War.  Fuck Aids.

Fuck Abstinence.  Fuck Ignorance.  Fuck The GOP.  Fuck Fear.

Fuck Pollution.  Fuck Hunting.  Fuck Hypocrisy.  Fuck Half Assed.

Fuck Insurance Companies.  Fuck Hospitals.  Fuck Opioid Pain Killers.

Fuck Flakka.  Fuck Bath Salts.  Fuck Pot Prohibition.  Fuck Order.

Fuck Power.  Fuck The Elite.  Fuck Fake. Fuck Rape.

Fuck Crime. Fuck Society. Fuck The Legal System. Fuck Washington.

Fuck Florida. Fuck Capitalism. Fuck Sports. Fuck The Education System.

Fuck Alex Jones.  Fuck Sarah Sanders. Fuck Ben Carson. Fuck Devos.

Fuck Paul Ryan. Fuck Bill O’Reilly. Fuck Sean Spencer. Fuck Kavanaugh.

Fuck Big Business. Fuck Trade Wars. Fuck Tax Breaks For Wealthy Cunts.

Fuck Doctors. Fuck Ego. Fuck Critics. Fuck Dictators. Fuck Fascists.

Fuck The System. Fuck The Man. Fuck Authority. Fuck Racism.

Fuck Scott Pruitt. Fuck Mitch “The Bitch” McConnell. Fuck Mike Pence.

Fuck AR-15’s. Fuck Mass Shootings. Fuck Anti-Semitism. Fuck Intolerance.

Fuck Bordom. Fuck Fun. Fuck Work. Fuck 401 ks. Fuck Cubicles.

Fuck Animal Abuse. Fuck Elder Abuse. Fuck Child Abuse. Fuck Lawyers.

Fuck CEOs. Fuck FaceBook. Fuck The Internet. Fuck Bullying.

Fuck Melania Trump. Fuck The Entire Trump Family Tree. Fuck Them All.

Fuck Jared Kushner. Fuck Jeff Flake. Fuck Susan Collins. Fuck Lawrenceville.

Fuck Hate. Fuck Anger. Fuck Depression. Fuck Dispare. Fuck Injustice.

Fuck ICE. Fuck Bias. Fuck TV. Fuck Apps. Fuck “Ask Your Doctor”. Fuck Debt.

Fuck Attitude. Fuck Conforming. Fuck The Powers That Be. Fuck Oil.

Fuck Putin. Fuck Gluten. Fuck Kimmy Jong-un. Fuck Pop Punk.

Fuck Ratings. Fuck The American Dream. Fuck Us All. Fuck It To Hell.

Fuck The Oscars. Fuck The Kardashians. Fuck NJ Shore Cast. Fuck Pandora.

Fuck Siri. Fuck Alexa. Fuck Apple. Fuck Bill Gates. Fuck SmartPhones.

Fuck Scams. Fuck SUVs. Fuck YouTube. Fuck Hollywood. Fuck Unoriginality.

Fuck Mundane. Fuck The Norm. Fuck Uber. Fuck Entitlement.

Fuck The Rich. Fuck Nationalists. Fuck Fine Art. Fuck Wine Snobs.

Fuck Foodies. Fuck Hipsters. Fuck Millennials. Fuck Procrastination.

Fuck Failure. Fuck Job Interviews. Fuck Public Opinion. Fuck People.

Fuck Podcasts. Fuck Materialism. Fuck Consumerism. Fuck Restrictions.

Fuck Rules. Fuck The Proud Boys. Fuck Tucker “Fucker” Carlson.

Fuck Sean “The Shithead” Spencer. Fuck Reboots. Fuck McMansions.

Fuck Desperation. Fuck Misery. Fuck Agony. Fuck Pain. Fuck Sadness.

Fuck Conflict. Fuck Hate. Fuck Love. Fuck Humanity. Fuck The World.

Fuck North Korea. Fuck Saudi Arabia. Fuck Terrorists.

Fuck Domestic Terrorism. Fuck The NRA. Fuck Teddy Nugent.

Fuck Roseanne Barr. Fuck Fox Friends. Fuck Kid “Rap” Rock.

Fuck Contracts. Fuck Banks. Fuck The Stock Market. Fuck Exclusion.

Fuck Apartheid. Fuck Lies. Fuck Deceit. Fuck Disloyalty. Fuck Traitors.

Fuck Fair Weather Fans. Fuck Advertising. Fuck Fashion. Fuck Cosmetics.

Fuck limitations. Fuck Child Molesters. Fuck Evangelicals.

Fuck Steve Bannon. Fuck Steve Miller. Fuck Lesly Graham.

Fuck Netflix. Fuck Macho. Fuck Bravado. Fuck Self Centeredness.

Fuck Corruption. Fuck Fraud. Fuck Luxury. Fuck TMZ. Fuck Country Rock.

Fuck Pro Life. Fuck Big Tobacco. Fuck Ramen Noodles. Fuck Obedience.

Fuck Tofu. Fuck Disco. Fuck Expectations. Fuck Curry. Fuck Kale.

Fuck The 90’s. Fuck Political Correctness. Fuck Orthodox.

Fuck Conventional. Fuck Crowds. Fuck Frats. Fuck Collage Sports.

Fuck Commercial Endorsements. Fuck Internet Fame. Fuck Stupidity.

Fuck Ignorance. Fuck The Box. Fuck Diets. Fuck Doctors. Fuck Credit Cards.

Fuck Cell Phone Providers. Fuck Roaming. Fuck Flying. Fuck Security.

Fuck Contradiction. Fuck Two Facedness. Fuck Cliches. Fuck Fads.

Fuck Popularity. Fuck Success. Fuck Protocol. Fuck The Standards.

Fuck Viral Videos. Fuck Stainless Steel Appliances. Fuck Garbage Disposals.

Fuck Home Owners Associations. Fuck Idiocy. Fuck Cancer.

Fuck Heart Disease. Fuck Imitations. Fuck Wannabes. Fuck Lemmings.

Fuck The Hype. Fuck Acceptance. Fuck Star Bucks. Fuck On Line  Shopping.

Fuck Drones. Fuck Robots. Fuck Artificial Intelligence. Fuck Domestication.

Fuck Elon Musk. Fuck Collage Tuitions. Fuck Tests. Fuck Evaluations.

Fuck Envy. Fuck Jealousy. Fuck The DMV. Fuck Public Transportation.

Fuck Movie Theaters. Fuck Amusement Parks. Fuck Disney.

Fuck Time. Fuck The Inevitable. Fuck Fate. Fuck Extinction. Fuck Fuck.

Fuck Interior Design. Fuck Radio. Fuck Desire. Fuck Temptation. Fuck Sex.

Fuck Infomercials. Fuck Propaganda. Fuck The Bullshit. Fuck Sarah Sanders.

Fuck Reality. Fuck Fiction. Fuck Spam (Mail). Fuck Tourists. Fuck Vaping.

Fuck Conspiracy Theories. Fuck Pretense. Fuck Definition.

Fuck Classification. Fuck Indifference. Fuck Schtick. Fuck Arrogance.

Fuck Ikea. Fuck Burning Man. Fuck Fees. Fuck Mensa. Fuck NASA.

Fuck Vegans. Fuck Celebrity Chefs. Fuck Mixology.

Fuck Pomp and Circumstance. Fuck Folly. Fuck Gasoline. Fuck Ivy League.

Fuck Superiority. Fuck The Majority. Fuck The Flock. Fuck Followers.

Fuck “Likes”. Fuck The Flue. Fuck Double Standards. Fuck Exclusivity.

Fuck Wealth. Fuck Fame. Fuck Fortune. Fuck Disbelief. Fuck Shock and Awe.

Fuck Fanatics. Fuck Zealots. Fuck Day Dreams. Fuck Salesman.

Fuck Pressure Sales. Fuck False Apologies. Fuck Cheating. Fuck Giving Up.

Fuck Whining. Fuck Bitching. Fuck Lamenting. Fuck Complaining.

Fuck Excuses. Fuck Reason. Fuck The Past. Fuck Fuck Ups. Fuck The Upside.

Fuck Feelings. Fuck Loss. Fuck Death. Fuck Life. Fuck Institutions.

Fuck Organization. Fuck Fault. Fuck Instability. Fuck Box Stores.

Fuck Self Check Out. Fuck Contradiction. Fuck Smartphone Games.

Fuck The End. Fuck The Beginning. Fuck Mark Zuckerberg.

Fuck George “Corpse Grinder” Fisher. Fuck American Idol.

Fuck Reality Shows. Fuck Greed. Fuck Contempt. Fuck Regret. Fuck Ethics.

Fuck Dennis Miller. Fuck Kellyann Conway. Fuck Artificial Shit.

Fuck Imposters. Fuck False Profits. Fuck Weaponizing Holy Scriptures.

Fuck the Repetitive. Fuck Designer Dogs. Fuck Child Beauty Pageants.

Fuck Concern. Fuck Gamers. Fuck Emo. Fuck PG-13. Fuck Merchandise.

Fuck Malls. Fuck Billboards. Fuck HBO. Fuck Amazon. Fuck Walmart.

Fuck Monopolies. Fuck Privatized Prisons. Fuck Fines.

Fuck Eating Horse Meat. Fuck Whale Hunting. Fuck Big Game Hunting.

Fuck Boarders. Fuck Land Ownership. Fuck The Government. Fuck The FCC.

Fuck The IRS. Fuck Exploitation. Fuck Drama. Fuck Fuckers. Fuck Hunger.

Fuck Knock-Offs. Fuck Non Alcoholic Beer. Fuck The “It Place”.

Fuck Internet Challenges. Fuck Posers. Fuck Light Weights.

Fuck The Mainstream.

Well I feel a bit better so back to The Grind.

Thanks for Reading,

   Les Sober

Day Whatever THE FCK!!! Gay People Suck I’m Going BACK INTO THE CLOSET and Having a HOUSE PARTY!

Yes I am having a house party and I’m going back into the closet!!!!!

Why would one do such a thing???? Because shouldn’t I be marching in some parade next summer with my new 6 pack abs, my tan in a bottle glistening off my chiseled face, and my buttocks slightly showing it’s well formed, yet well used shape???? Because I am not like them……..ahhhhh………!!!!!!!!!!!!!FUCKADUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Should I expect any more by people who ask me what designers I wear, call me cub or bear when I’m larger or call me slut when all I’m doing is looking at someone to decide if I could possibly be attracted to them (or if I’m just doing a deathstare to figure out why I’m doing the deathstare)? By the way sorry to the guy I’ve been deathstaring at the gym, I know there are plenty of better guys to stare at but for some reason you have won the deathstare…. Enjoy it’s a privilege, not a right. 🙂

I guess I just don’t relate. I will never be one of those people that can just live in one world or the other. I live in the real world, reality, whatever you want to call it. The only time I really leave that place is when I’m drunk. If most people went to say Cabo San Lucas when they drink, I’d have to say I go to an underground prison probably in either Siberia or China. Somewhere in that next of the woods……

So maybe my expectations are too high??? Maybe it’s only like one of 100 gay people who would answer the question, “What shows have you seen lately?”, with a band or two and not have Liza Manilli included in the answer. Maybe I’m the one who is flawed, who doesn’t really see the point of gay pride parades, doesn’t watch a show obsessively because it features gay people in their various worry lines, or doesn’t have a little random flag on the back of their car (although if the lesbian didn’t take all the clever bumper stickers i may have one, but I think some random fag shoved it up his ass)…..

Anyway my expectations are not too high. They really do not even exist. I just know for some reason that I do not relate to very many gay people. I like GOOD music, not crap. I like sports, mainly baseball and football, which is two more sports then everyone but the lesbians…..I don’t parade myself around. I think I’m a homophobe.

Is that even possible? A gay homophobe? Well if it is I guess I’m the closest thing there is to one. I really do kind of live on my own plane of existence or planet or whatever the fuck you call it. For those of you that say I just need to get laid or have a drink and get over it, I’ll fuck your mom, key your car, and tie you to your bedpost and make you watch Cats for a week straight.

“Oh no I said straight. They are coming to take my gay card. Quick hide in the closet!!! Do it like Anne Frank…..and be as quiet as Helen Keller.”

“OK if they come just queff your vag, that will distract them.”

“Oh no but what I just exfoliated. What if they take my gay card give it back then want to fuck? Then what the fucknations do I do??? Wait, quick I know strap that dildo on and distract them with that while I sneak out the back. NO NO NO. They’ll be lookin’ to do me in the back. I need to hit it in the front!!!!!!”

———————————-

Kegs of beer for one for all
Bra straps like to tumble and fall
Neotrails blaze into the night
Choose the forsaken
Amen need church need jesus
Fuck that man I ain’t that uptight


Lalalalala. So ummmm can I possibly be a homophobe? I once hung out with Neonazis but I was like 16 and dumb and for some reason they didnt kill me….. Dur durrrr durrr dur dur…..

By SpaceDog 

Life Imitates Art as Art Imitates Life part 2: Mr. Brainwash, Banksy, and Authentic Art

For those of you just tuning in this is part two of a piece I’m writing expressing my feelings on the subject of Actual Artist with Original ideas/concepts versus Greedy Talentless Lame Copy Cat Hacks. It goes without saying that wherever their is a Successful Artist with Original Ideas and Creative Concepts there will be a small army of wannabe’s and knock off’s trying to make money from SOMEONE ELSES Intellectual Property.

I have nothing but respect for Original Artists, and Their work even if I personally don’t like it. I believe in giving credit whenever and wherever its due.

Now for the talentless twats that swarm around Original Artists leeching off Their Creativity by either riding on their coat tails, jumping on the TREND(Y) Bandwagon or most of all their trying to Capitalize in any way they can out/off of it. They’re either trying to emulate and imitate the original idea and Art. Either that or Their trying Steal it some how for personal profit in a Pompously Presumptuous Gallery (to a bunch of Wealthy Elite Art Collecting ASSHOLES) or hawk it Online like some sort of Digital Asshole.

My point/argument continues here after stating in the prior post that Tesla was a Lone Genius, and Edison was a Con artist who got famous of his employee’s ideas/inventions. That was the History Portion, And now for the repeating part.

(Just a reminder I am recounting/retelling a EXTREMELY CONDENSED VERSION to save time by sticking as close as I can to my point. I fully encourage Reader’s to watch the Documentary Film “Exist Through The Gift Shop” which provides an in-depth and detailed look at all of the information on the subject of the personal history between Mr. Brainwash and Banksy. I would also at this time like to also recommend the Documentary “Banksy Does New York” for a most informative look into His Work and Personal Philosophies) Bottomline I’m not a Biographer.

Its truly have to give an immense deal of credit to Banksy who got his start on the Street of London, who’s work now has appeared on the streets of various countries around the globe, who’s work has been hang shied by Wealthy Gallery Owners and the like, and the Unscrupulous acquisitions of pieces of Banksy’s Artwork stolen strait off of the streets themselves, has had his work Valued from Hundreds of Thousands to a Million Plus, and yet no one knows anything personal details about Him. Banksy has become notorious for vehemently protecting his true Identity and to His credit its worked amazingly, in fact its worked perfectly. This is all anyone knows of Banksy in the Public Forum that He is Male, White, From England, and is the biggest name in Street Art/ Graffiti the world has know at this point.

Yet the popular misconception is because Banksy’s art sells for such massive amounts of money that he is insanely rich and has tons of cash coming in on a daily basis. A few reason for this are He has to compensate  His Team comprised only of the most trusted inner circle, Pay out a exorbitant amount of money in the quest to stay Anonymous, Travel, Supplies, He donates a good bit of money from selling some of his work to Charities (such as House The Homeless in NYC for example), and the simple fact that His work that is stolen off the Streets, and sold in High End Art Galleries which Banksy has absolutely nothing to do with thus he doesn’t make a dime. Banksy has stated his Art is for Everyone to enjoy and harshly condemned those who seek to confiscate his work and sell it in a high end gallery for personal profit. In fact Banksy shuns the Classic Art world for being more about being pretentious than about the actual Art.

Now while like Tesla(who had several assistants through out his career) Banksy has come to rely on the help of a few other people to help achieve his Artistic Goals/Ideas/Artistic Concepts are Banksy’s and Banksy’s alone. Point being Banksy’s crew work WITH HIM, NOT FOR HIM.

Bansky is known for the Social/Politically driven Art Work that provokes deeper thought when it comes to social ills or political plight. His work can be ironic, mocking, Anti-Authoritarian, but its all meant to promote understanding and peace among all of Humanity. His unofficial mascot seems to be the Rat which reappears frequently in Banksy’s Art. Later on in his career Banksy started to produce Art Installations (such as a blissful paradise housed in a dirty beat up Box Truck that drives around stopping periodically, and Video Pieces. Banksy has embraced Social Media/ Internet where he has a very forward, direct, and honest website (Bnaksy also has a Instagram and Twitter accounts.  Banksy is not just Original he’s insanely intelligent, beyond talented, Humble, Secretive, and Though Provoking Artist.

Meanwhile as far as Mr. Brainwash is concerned…….

I guess for sake of argument I’ll start at the beginning. Before He became Mr. Brainwash He was a regular guy named Thierry (Pronounced Terry) Guetta who had a serious camera OBC. Simply Thierry’s Mother died when he was 7, and this dramatic tragedy created Thierry’s life long obsession of Video Taping every single waking moment.

Thierry’s cousin was an up and coming Graffiti Artist in the Blossoming new world of Street Art who goes by Space Invader. Thierry started to follow and film Space Invader everywhere documenting his work along the way. Thierry ended up utterly in love with the up and coming graffiti Artists, and started following, assisting, and Filming them constantly.

In a once in a life time chance ( I mean its like winning the Lottery and then being struck by lighting.) Thierry’s cousin was hosting non other than the infamous Banksy who had already made a name for Himself. Thierry was allowed into Banksy’s inner circle even visiting the Illusive Artists Studio (Banksy’s Team found it odd and were very weary of Theirry). Thierry started going out at night with Banksy acting as a look out or extra pair of hands as Banksy put up new work.

A little later on the various Graffiti Artist drew Thierry’s non stop filming of them and their activities into question. The question was why the fuck was Thierry filming Them in the first place? Thierry had had NO PLAN for the endless hours of footage he had shot, and currently was shooting. So being rather put on the spot Thierry announced He was filming because he was making a Documentary on The Various Artists, and the birth of the Street Art fascination that was inadvertently legitimizing Graffiti as in fact Art.

Now thats all good and fine its what ended up happening next that pisses me off.

Banksy finally called Thierry out, and told him now was the time to release His Documentay because it was the essential backstory to the newly dubbed Street Art World. Thierry went to work sifting through countless bins of material as he worked feverishly to complete his so called Documentary. The Documentary was anything but. It was 90 minutes of seizure inducing, eye bleeding bullshit. It was just random images thrown together in a Manic Manner so it appeared like a 90 minute music video that escaped from MTV in the 1980’s and went absolutely insane.

Seeing the Documentary was a complete and utter failure Banksy formulated a plan to salvage the project. As Theirry idolized Banksy to the umpteenth degree Banksy got Thierry to let him borrow all of his footage. Banksy then recommended that Thierry head home, create some Art, and perhaps have a little show. Thierry took this to heart as an official mission assigned Him personally by His Idol Banksy.

Now while wasting time, content, and miles of Video Tape is a real shitty thing, and fucking up a project happens so while I’m pissed at this point in the story, the following part is what truly Enrages Me to NO END.

Thierry went home and the first fucking thing he does is rent a MASSIVE 5 story fucking warehouse for his upcoming show. Then Thierry (who accept for a few sporadic pieces (a picture of Him holding a camera) had never been an actual Graffiti Artist. Thierry then hires a legion of Millennial Graphic Artists to crank out REALLY CLICHE CRAP thats BLATANTLY a LAME attempt to IMITATE Banksy. Thierry has NO ACTUAL ARTISTIC CREATIVITY, TALENT OR SKILL.

Then Thierry gave him self the Moniker of Mr. Brainwash, and started to promote Himself and His upcoming show as if He was a legitimate long time, well know, and respected Graffiti Artist who was friends with all the Other now Big Name Graffiti Artists, and that He had the distinct honor in personally knowing Banksy. He used Banksy and Other Big Artists  to shamelessly Self Promote Himself FALSELY.

At this point Graffiti had been rebranded as Street Art as it had become popular in the Allegedly Fine Art World. And because of its new found trendiness provided the key to Thierry’s unwarranted success. Every Hipster, Trend Chaser, Pretentious Assholes, Fine Art Dealer, and Exclusive Art Gallery Owner wanted a piece of the Street Art Pie because by now Banksy Works had sold for up to and over a million dollars (which only serves to encourage unscrupulous Thieves) BOTTOM LINE Every Sucker and Presumptuous Asshole bought Thierry’s bullshit credentials and so called Street Credit hook, line, and fucking sinker.

In the end Thierry filled the gigantic rented warehouse with tons of Pathetic Graffiti Knock Off Bullshit Pieces conceived and done by one of his HIRED underlings, and presented them all as His own. Thierry fit right into the fake ass kissing world of Fine Art, Thierry could bullshit his ass off as Elitist Idiots ate it up ravenously like rabid Lemmings.

 

THE POINT OF THIS 2 PART POST is as follows.

There Unintelligent and Untalented ASSHOLES like Thomas Edison and Thierry aka Mr. Brainwash in the World that like so many other Con Artists STEAL other’s Intellectual Property, and then have the balls to claim it as Their own. THAT IS HORSE SHIT. Those people are fucking bottom dwelling leeches that act like Brainless Parasites feeding off Other’s Originality for their own fame/fortune.

Fuck Trends, Fuck Hipsters, Fuck Art Thieves, Fuck High End Art Galleries, Fuck Fine Art Dealers, Fuck Fakes, Fuck Wannabes, Fuck Mr. Brainwash, Fuck Edison, Fuck Scam Artists, Fuck Con Men, Fuck Unoriginality, Fuck Cliches, and Fuck the Fine Art Assholes.

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober 

The Rage Within

Have you ever had a wonderful customer service experience that made you feel happy, elated or even just a bit more than satisfied? Well this blog post is not for you. If you’ve been neglected, fucked over, or treated like a criminal keep on reading.

My issues began almost 5 months ago. For some reason I wanted to check my prepaid card balance on my WetZeller card. (names have been changed to protect the guilty, cuz that’s how me do in Merica.) Well it just was not right, there was nothing there. There should have been something.

Well I call in to these lovely folks and get some guy with a thick Indian accent. Pretty standard for a lot of low rate companies or tech companies. I get a canned response and dispute the charge when I find out what it is. A purchase at a Walmart. OMG NO NO NO. Yuck. I haven’t bought anything at a Walmart since I found my soul. The sneakers I bought there once succumbed to the rain. I have been through every addiction on the planet and Walmart actually provided the low point of my life. I bought their underwear. That will forever be my low. The Wets say they will get back to me in 24-48 hours.

Fast forward 3 weeks and 4 calls later. Every call I get the same canned 24-48 hour response repeatedly.  The Indian guy turned out to be a blessing. It was Bulgarians, Jamaicans and gypsy thieves after that.  The Jamaican woman decided that when I raised my voice mid sentence, she was going to shout into the phone at me. That was tons of fun because I had to hold back. I still did want my money back so I could not bust out with much other then lamely calling her a mean person.

My frustrations continue another week. A full month later I get a response asking for IDs, police reports, a copy of my bank statement, license, proof of residence and proof that I was in my country at the time of the transaction.  Deadline:one week. Otherwise they would assume that I was completely full of shit.  Now I get ID and police report but I have never been asked for proof I was in my country. I do have a smartphone so I clearly can prove it did not leave this area, but I don’t really have proof I am where I am on a daily basis. There is no need for me to be a daily consumer of anything other then food, water and oxygen. I don’t slither to a methadone clinic everyday, clock in at a job, or go to adult day care so this could be an issue.

 

The ironic part of all of this is this was all over $50. You would think it would be some insane amount like $5000 or even $500 but no a mere $50. This was the time I also found out the charge was in California. I’m a fucking friend in Pennsylvania  who made a charge 7 hours before the fake one. So basically I would have had to hijack a plane from the local airport, convince the flight to head to LA, convince the police to escort me high speed to some random Walmart in the LA Suburbs so I could randomly buy $50 worth of bullshit, and then take a flight directly home so I could call the next day and cry fraud.  I wouldn’t fly around that quickly if I stole 5 million dollars and certainly not for $50.

 

Luckily I had been to the doctors that day. I only go every 6 weeks so I happened to luck out. Otherwise these crooks would have absolutely taken my money. Still though I had to not only provide completely detailed receipts but had to get a “permission slip” from my doctor saying I was there. Then I had to get it notarized. I still have no clue why this was necessary other then to try and make my issue cost more then $50 for me to solve so my money could be pocketed.

Then the wait happened. Again. My EuroTrash contact would string me along a little at a time. She needed a clearer license picture. She needed the monthly statement of my charges, not just the page I printed out. It seemingly went on forever. It was only 3 months in all actuality.

 

Then I go the great news seemingly out of the blue. Your money has been refunded. I am not sure if this happened so suddenly because I threatened to get my local government involved. It only took 3 days after I made that promise for my money to get back to me.

The money was staring at me in my account. Yet it showed up as being a rejected refund. No one knew what was going on when I called in. I waited 2 more weeks for them to tell me it was available. So I tried to use the money right away. Decline, decline, decline. Someone then suddenly knew what they were doing and said we need to cancel your card and issue you a new one.

This is the part that got me going absolutely batshit. Why wouldn’t you have cancelled the card right away when I told you 4 months ago? Were you waiting for me to put more money on my account so you could buy some suspect meat, forbidden fruit, or earbuds that make music sound like something that is used as a torture device? Waiting for me to send in my bank statement with the account number included?

 

So I had to wait for this card to come in the mail an additional 2 weeks. It finally came, I gambled the money away rather quickly and chopped that shit up. It was found money so there was no need to save it or buy anything worthwhile. I put it into the same category as drug money or escorting money. It should be spent as quickly as possible.

All in all, my ordeal ended up taking me 3 days short of a full 5 months to get a refund. The extra month of waiting after they refunded me was just the cherry on top.

I sort of wish the rage would continue. It was great motivation for losing weight, running and punching things. I probably should have bought a punching bag but being the reincarnated Jew that I am and current part mad Russian I decided the wall would be better. I must say the wall held up much better then my knuckles.

The rage ended. Or a brief period. Then something worse then fraud came along.

A peppy middle aged woman lacking a sex life. She was not trying to get with me so I can still breathe.  She is next in the crossfire…….

 

 By SpaceDog

The 1st Amendment & Cops Don’t Mix.

I have been waiting for a situation to present itself so I could argue my point and that being The 1st Amendment & Cops Don’t Mix. Well low and behold that situation I had been waiting for for so long finally arrived.

My Wife and I were driving through the neighboring town where my relative lives. We where on our way to their house because they were in Portugal on vacation, and they needed someone to feed the cat/water the plants while they were away. We had stopped off at the one and only Pizza Parlor to pick up a Pizza and when we pulled out of the parking lot I saw the Cop car sitting at the top of a side street with their lights off. The first thought that came to my mind was GODDAMN TRAFFIC BANDITS, FUCKING ROAD PIRATES! The Second was their unofficial require monthly quota of traffic tickets still existed regardless of its unofficial status. The third and the last thought was based on the so called “Gut Feeling” that I have had sporadicly from time to time throughout my life. Again the feeling was right . As soon as our rear bumper had passed by the front of their patrol car the motherfuckers pulled out with their shitty disco lights a blaze.

We were going a whopping 14 miles an hour (the town speed limit is 30 and every local knows the Cops set up speed traps and do traffic stops all along the main road.), but in this case we had just pulled out of the Pizza Parlor’s parking lot and had only driven 100 feet or so before getting tagged by the cocksucking cops.

The Cops then without pause turned on their PA system and told us over the loud speaker (incase we didn’t know because we’re utter fucktards what was going on or what to do) that we had to pull over. Main street is too narrow for there to be a traffic stop on the side of the road without impending traffic. So We were then instructed by said Cops to pull into the drive way on the right (which ironically was the local Police station/Court house/Town Hall/Jail) and we did. My Wife for some reason decided to pull over and put the car in park as opposed to the usual pulling over and turning the car/engine off. She then scrambled around the trash dump that is the interior of her car for all her proper paperwork, and luckily found it all in spite of the overwhelming mounds of trash.

The Cop strolled up to the drivers side of the car and addressed my Wife in the classic manner saying hey and asking for her drivers license, Proof of insurance and registration. My Wife being so polite it was making me ill immediately hands over all the appropriate requested information. The Cop then demanded to know if there were drugs/guns/explosives or any type of weapon/contraband in the car. I took acceptation to his overtly assertive Cop attitude, and opted to use my 1st amendment right to free fucking speech. I said No over my Wife and proceeded to let the Cops know they can search the car and us because there wasn’t shit on us. I did this because I hate how Cops are always trying to intimidate civilians in these and other situations. Heres a fun fucked up fact to prove what I just said to be true. First off to be a State Trooper you have to be 6 feet taller or taller. This is solely so when the Trooper is standing outside of your car they look more intimidating on purpose. State Troopers also use basic psychology for intimidation purposes such as wearing sunglasses. Its a scientific biological fact that if 2 people are talking and the 1st one is wearing sun glasses thus obscuring their eyes the 2nd one will become naturally unnerved as humans relay on eye contact quite heavily in social situations, but I digress.

The Cop falls into the stereotypical threatening Cop routine. The Cop aggressively tells us there trying to do things the easy way but they could do it the hard way. He then went on to explain that meant they’d search the car and us, call in a fucking K-9 unit and possibly arrest us solely based on our behavior while dealing with them (AKA Be Submissive like a scared fucking dog) This is when I took acceptation to the COp’s partner standing over my shoulder with his fucking  super duper halogen flash fucking light.

At this point I tried to reel myself in a bit and did my guttural mumbling. What guttural mumbling is my affectionate term for when I talk in a low, deep voice stringing along my words so only if you REALLY KNOW ME you’ll know what I’m saying. Think of it as me talking in my own personal short hand if you will. My Wife after 14 years of knowing me has the most expertise understanding/deciphering this garbled code of mine. I leaned over and said “Look Motherfucker What You Bout asshole” which simple translates to “Look at this motherfucker over here by me doing the whole unflinching authority rediric bullshit the fucking asshole that this asshole is. Fucking Asshole.” For the duration of this post I will simply write the translated version as not to tax the readers eyes unnecessarily.

The 1st Cop heres me but can’t for the life of himself figure out what the hell I’m saying, BUT he really wanted to know. So he asked me what I said and I responded by saying “I know its a safety issue with a broken tail light and should be fixed ASAP, but I don’t understand nor appreciate the overly aggressiveness nature of your handling it with, thats what I;m taking goddamn acceptation too.” The Cop obviously didn’t appreciate my response and launches into the “Is there and Drugs…in the Car” again to which I respond to ahead and search away, you won’t find shit and I can workout any legalities with my Attorney tomorrow.” Now the Cop REALLY didn’t like that answer. So the Cop actually says to my wife that I’m making them  nervous, and of course I had something to say about that shit. I told the Cop I think its fucking hilarious that there 2 grown men armed with Handguns, Mace, Night Stick/Baton and more than likely a shotgun in their car, BUT I’M making THEM Nervous? Seriously thats fucking moronic. The Cop continues to address my wife about what I’m saying and how its fucking everything up apparently when I made a second comment about his Partner still standing behind me unflinching like a fucking Nazi SS solider. As par of the course the Cop then asked me again what I said, and I repeated the same statement as before about dramatic overkill over a simply a broken tail light.

The Cop then suggests I role down my window and talk directly to his partner which quite obviously I didn’t  want to do. I rolled down the window in anywise realizing the Cop wasn’t making a suggestion, he was ordering me to do so. His partner asked why I was being so verbal and I said “Because I  can thanks to the 1st Amendment, and that We weren’t yelling/screaming, keeping cursing on my part to a stricter minimum, we were complying with the officers requests, nor were we being verbally or physically abusive rather I was just stating my opinion. The only issue that I was aware of was the Cops PERSONALLY taking acceptation to my opinions which is fine, BUT COPS LET PERSONAL FEELING DICTATE THERE PROFESSIONAL CONDUCT leading to abuse of power. An PRIME EXAMPLE of this is The Federal Court had to interject and inform the citizens of America that it is TOTALLY LEGAL and the right of every American Citizen to give the Police the middle finger (at any time or place). This was due to the fact Cops were being given the finger, and then in response they harassed the shit out of the person who flipped them off thusly abusing their Professional Power to deal with a Personal Problem.

Needless to say in the end I just opted to keep my mouth shut to avoid a felonious arrest by these Podunk Police Officers. The Cop’s partner went on to explain that he’s there for his partner’s and his safety as they don’t know who or what could be waiting when they walk up to a car. Fine that makes total sense and I totally agree. My point on that subject was it was unnecessarily over bearing and basically a dick move because he remained in his “Defensive Safety” stance far to long to be legitimate. I mean lets fucking face it, while he may be providing safety for himself and his partner the Cop NONE THE LESS was also using his position to visually search me and the interior of the car (i.e. He got real close and shined his fuck light into the glove compartment when My Wife put her personal information away. He was also seeing if his presence made us nervous as if we were hiding something from them, what the fuck happened to INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY?! Seems to me the Cops are conducting themselves under the gneiss of the opposite theory Guilty until proven innocent and THATS BULLSHIT, un-American, UNPROFESSIONAL and leads to POLICE CORRUPTION AND ABUSE, but thats a different story for another day.

Thanks for the Read,

Les Sober  

You Only Get a 1 Chance To Make a 1st Impression and They F*cked Up

Quite a while ago I was at a near by local Mall (I fucking hate Malls their a Vulgar Display of Capitalism) and We saw an entry for a contest. The prize was a White Trash Ride on Lawnmower Wet Dream. The Mower was splattered with White Trash Decals for everything from the a popular Collage, State football team, The States Flag and the Token State  Symbol from tip to tail. It was such a gross case of overkill We knew we had to enter.  We filled out the general information card and plopped it into the entry slot on the entry box and promptly forgot all about it.

Tuesday We got a phone call from the apparent sponsor of the Ride on Mower Contest a Smaller Alarm Company called Super Sonic Security. The Woman on the phone identified herself as Phone Drone Debbie who got our contact information off our entry card, and wanted to talk to us about Home Security AKA Alarm Company. We were all in a good mood so We decided to hear her out. So We said sure and listened to her spiel about how their company was looking to expand using word as mouth as their key strategy. Since Super Sonic Security was looking to sign up new customers they were waving this and waving that fee left and fucking right. This turned into a case of if its to good to be real deal, and My Wife and I decided there was obviously a catch and We wanted to find out what it was. At first We thought it was blatantly going to be Expensive Monthly Monitoring Fees/ Shitty Long Term  Contracts. Alas We couldn’t find a hidden catch (it was fucking mind boggling really) but without any issue with costs We decided to go with the it (since We had been discussing Alarm Systems and were officially in the market for one) and scheduled a Tech to install the System the following day between 6 and 7 pm.

Well that WAS the Catch.

Wednesday 6pm came and went and by 7 I figured for whatever the reason may be the Tech wasn’t showing up for the scheduled installation. Now since I work from home and My Wife is a Nurse (who works 12 hour shifts and being an RN there is a STRICK NO PHONE POLICY the bottomline being NO CELLPHONES AT WORK.) Super Sonic Suckurity was instructed to call Me. Anyway My Wife gets home and I tell her that the fucking Tech pulled a No Show not to mention the asshole didn’t even have the professional curtesy of a fucking phone call. My Wife informed me that the Tech had called her at 6:55pm  (5 minutes before he was supposed to be at Our House at the fucking latest.), but My Wife was driving so she didn’t answer (Good for her). The Tech left a rather long and completely confusing message on her voicemail. She then put her phone on speaker and played his message for me. It was the most fucking absurd load of rambling ranting I have bared witness to and I didn’t know if I wanted to kill this fuck or admire him for his horrendous display of Bullshit. As far as I can decipher the message was about how their expanding business is taking off and the schedule filled up. This I assume was the part of the message explaining the bullshit No Show accept We booked the appointment the previous night at 8:50 pm less than 24 hours ago. So the reasoning that they couldn’t fit us in made no fucking sense what so ever. One We ALREADY had an appointment scheduled, but these assholes solicited Us yet they seemed to be trying to play it off as We called them (and their too fucking busy for new customers which obviously is counterintuitive to the basic business model, NO CUSTOMERS NO COMPANY). The Tech then launches into the second part of his ludicrous message and starts babbling about expanding network and network capabilities pertaining to Geography or some shit. He then finishes his message of madness by saying that Super Sonic Security will call us back at a later date to discuss Alarm Instillation.

Needless to say this chapped My ass ROYALLY and I snatched up my phone and called the number the Sales Woman from earlier only to get a busy signal. I called right back and then again in several minutes but got the same busy signal each time. I then dialed the main customer service phone number and a guy named Jerk Off  Jimmy D and I aggressively asked him what the fuck is this No Show bullshit about. Jerk Off Jimmie D tells me that I have reached an Answering Service so they can’t do a damn thing but pass on a message the following morning. I told Jerk Off Jimmie D I’d like to leave a message which was Don’t Ever Contact Me Again, You had a chance a blew it right out of your ass.

That should have been that, but I had a sneaking suspicion that I’d be getting a call from the Super Sonic Security Sales Department trying to salvage the deal. Well thats exactly what happened. A Sales Rep called apologizing and kissing My ass making a string of excuses and bullshit reasons for The No Show. I told the Rep that on a professional level if their Tech can’t make a simple appointment then I have lost any/all faith in their ability to protect a pile of shit. Second the unprofessional manner ( a pet peeve of mine is anyone I’m doing business with to act in an unprofessional) in which the situation was handled pissed me off to no end on a personal level. Finally I ended the conversation by informing said Rep that their word of mouth campaign is working the only issue is the word of mouth is that their a shitty company with shittier customer service.

We have since contracted a different and far, far superior  Alarm Company to help protect Our Home Offices so alls well that ends well, and FUCK SUPER SONIC SECURITY in Their UNPROFESSIONAL ASSES.

Thanks For The Read

Les Sober  

Tori Amos: A Quick Clarification

It’s no secret that I’m about the farthest fucking thing from a Tori Amos fan, not by a long shot. I find her music extremely melodramatic with  Heavy Piano, it the only music  that makes Emo look like it has balls. Amos’s Lyrics are Vague and as for “singing” Amos opts to howl, wail, and Yodel her way through every damn song like she’s America’s answer to Iceland’s Bjork.

Its also no secret that Tori Amos has had a long torrid love affaire with cocaine. Tori Amos is essentially a life long cokehead and it shows in her so called music.

There is a popular Tori Amos song (who’s title surprise, surprise I don’t know) BUT the Chorus is;

“God sometimes you don’t come through…”

To be crystal clear Amos’s is not making a profound statement about a religious deity. She is making a exclamation about her Coke Dealer.

Now I’m no Saint or anything resembling one and I’ve been in the situation Tori Amos finds herself in as far as the subject matter pertaining to this song. Its definitely one of the shittiest feelings know to all mankind to be Coked out of your mind tweaking like a Son-Of-A-Bitch and you can’t get a hold of your Drug Dealer.

The intense feeling of utter desperation taxed heavily with anxiety and uncontrollable racing thoughts/pulse, pounding heartbeat, Paranoia, and the intense craving is one of the reasons drug addicts question why they do the drugs they do when their Sober.

The most fucked up thing is I really hate Cocaine, I was never into stimulants, Depressants were my favorite drugs. What I mean by that is Coke made me feel more not less. So I haven’t done Cocaine in 14 years and have no plan to indulge in it ever again.

Thanks For The Read,

Les Sober    

 

The UFC is it All its Cracked up to Be?!

The UFC in the beginning was nothing more then a bunch or barely legal back room Bar Room Brawls. That was until the UFC was purchased by in 2001 and Fight Promoter Dana White was installed as President of the UFC. Under White’s guidance the UFC was transformed from a shady amateur promotion into a Legitimate Multi Billion dollar Global Brand featuring Mixed Martial Arts, and with Fighters from around the World competing. Besides MMA UFC Fighters are also trained in Grappling, Boxing, Submission holds and Muay Thai Boxing.

With that said I have a couple of key issues with the UFC.

The first is it takes the Fighter’s an exorbitant mount of time to make their way to the ring surrounded by Coachs, Trainers and several other people who’s exact job isn’t apparent. The excessive showboat entrances are the equivalent of having to sit through 20-23 minutes of shitty previews at the movie theater before the actual movie begins.

The next is while the UFC ads are awesome featuring Fighters fighting furiously as they try and either knock out their opponent or make them submit. Yet when it comes to the actual Fight Event the action is quite different. Usually at first the Fighters throw a few cautionary fists and feet before engaging in a Grappling contest as they jockey for position. The problem is while Grappling requires skill, practice and excellent execution its not visually entertaining. If I’m at the actual fight unless I’m in the most expensive front rows of seats once the Fighters start Grappling they are no longer in my field of sight. Now if I’m watching it on TV its a bit better as I have several camera angles and close ups, BUT it still lacks the visual action that draws the crowds in.

Its very similar to the difference between Men and Women’s Professional Boxing. In Men’s Boxing most of the actual fight consists mainly of the two Fighters dancing around the ring throwing a jab or two, and locking up (a fancy term for grabbing and holding onto your opponent until the Ref tells you to break it up) Then finally at the tail end of the fight the Boxers kick it into gear and the fight started to resemble its reputation for brutality and possible bloodshed.

In Women’s Boxing once the bell rings the Fighters come barreling out of the corner both guns blazing as they fight fast and furiously as they attempt to beat their opponent hopefully by knocking them out. The point being Women’s Boxing delivers the violent intensity of Muay Thai Boxing (commonly know as Kick Boxing by the General Public) that fight fans thrive on.

Well thats just one man’s opinion, Thanks for the Read

Sincerely

Les Sober